Phases

By Kirk Landers

Published on Aug 14, 2007

Gay

Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you.

Hey everyone! Hope you are enjoying the new chapters.

Here's part 33 entitled 'Depression and Acceptance.'

'DEPRESSION AND ACCEPTANCE'

It was late at night and Kurt was sleeping and began to have a dream that he's had reoccurring ever since Nick died.

The ambulance had just taken Nick to the hospital and Leo and Kurt followed closely behind.

After Kurt parked his car he quickly ran inside the hospital, the corridors seemed endless as he was searching for someone who could give him information about Nick. Kurt and Leo were instructed to go into the waiting room for a doctor to come see them. After what seemed like an eternity a doctor finally came up to them.

"How is he?" Kurt asked desperately hoping for good news.

"I'm sorry guys, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that he passed away. It seems he died before you both arrived to his place," the doctor said. Once Kurt heard those words he felt weak. His whole world came crashing down on him, and then suddenly he couldn't breath.

"Kurt?" Leo asked seeing that Kurt was having a hard time breathing, but Kurt couldn't respond he just felt like he was being suffocated. Suddenly, he was alone in the hospital, unable to breath. Then just when he felt he was about to pass out he woke up. Kurt was sweating like he always did when he had those dreams. He took a few moments to catch his breath, then he settled back into bed and tried to go back to sleep. He was up the rest of the night.

The next day, Kurt was sitting in Dr. Walton's office.

He decided that he did need to talk to a therapist about everything and Jesse suggested that he go see Dr. Walton who helped him out a lot.

"So, tell me why you're here," Dr. Walton said.

"Well, about a month ago my best friend died," Kurt said.

"And you haven't really dealt with it?" Dr. Walton asked.

"No, I've been dealing," Kurt replied. "It's just been hard for me to accept."

"How have you been dealing?" Dr. Walton asked.

"Jesse has been explaining to me the five stages of grief," Kurt replied.

"Okay," Dr. Walton said. "Continue."

"It was right on with how I was feeling," Kurt explained. "I first went through denial, then anger, bargaining, been depressed on and off, I just can't seem to get myself to the acceptance part."

"Where are you now in those five stages?" Dr. Walton asked.

"Lately, I've been going back and forth between depression and anger," Kurt answered. "Some days I'll just be so sad I can't get out of bed, then other days I'll be so angry that I lash out on the people I love.

It's been really hard on my relationship."

"Tell me about it," Dr. Walton said.

"I'm dating this guy and he's really great," Kurt explained. "I've been having doubts though for a while, even before my friend died."

"What sort of doubts?" Dr. Walton asked.

"Well, there's this other guy who I have a history with and him and I have feelings for each other," Kurt replied. "And then with the death of my friend it just complicated things more because my boyfriend doesn't understand what I'm going through the way this other guy does because he didn't know my best friend as well as the other guy and as a result I haven't been as emotionally available to my boyfriend as I know I should be."

"So you're in love with both of them?" Dr. Walton asked.

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "So now I can't get acceptance over my best friend's death and I can't decide between which guy I want to be with."

"Sounds to me like the answer to getting acceptance over your friend's death lies in you deciding between these two men," Dr. Walton said.

"How so?" Kurt asked.

"Both men will lead you down different paths," Dr. Walton replied. "It sounds like the one you're dating will lead you down a path away from your friend who died. He can take you somewhere new and to a place where you won't have to look back. The other man will lead you down a path that will force you to really confront your emotions over your friend's death and will take you to a place where you can be at peace with it and move on. Both are tempting, but you have to decide which one."

"I guess you have a point," Kurt said.

"And it sounds like this crossroads in your life is what's keeping you in the depression and anger stage of the grief process because you can't decide," Dr. Walton said.

"How am I supposed to decide?" Kurt asked.

"I believe that when someone is caught in a love triangle like this there is usually one they love more than the other, but because they don't want to hurt the other one's feelings they don't make a decision," Dr. Walton replied.

"So you think that deep down I know which one I want to be with," Kurt said.

"Yes," Dr. Walton said.

Kurt sat quietly thinking about that and then thinking about both Gab and Ryan.

Meanwhile, Joey was settling into Nick's apartment. He had just finished moving all his stuff in the day before and was walking around the place in awe that he got lucky enough to meet a great guy like Nick who as a result enabled him to meet Leo who was so eager to help him. Leo set him up with a place to live, was going to send him to school and Kurt got him a cell phone so he could keep in touch with them. He knew how lucky he was and was determined not to blow it. Joey was sitting on the couch in the living room when there was a knock on the door. He opened it up to find Leo standing there with a bunch of papers.

"Hey Joey," Leo said giving Joey a hug.

"Hi Leo," Joey said then looked at the papers in Leo's hands. "What all that?"

"These are some job applications I picked up for you," Leo said as he walked into the apartment.

"Wow, those are a lot of applications," Joey observed. "What kind of jobs?"

"Some receptionist jobs, restaurant jobs, retail, all sorts of stuff," Leo said. "You did quit the strip club right?"

"Yeah," Joey replied. "I talked to them two days ago."

"Good," Leo said. "Now lets look at these applications and then make you a resume."

"A resume?" Joey asked. "It's not going to be that impressive."

"What kind of jobs have you had?" Leo asked.

"Besides being a stripper?" Joey asked, "Well, I was a waiter at a diner for about a month, then I used to mow people's lawns. That's about it."

"Okay," Leo replied. "Well, we'll make your resume and just sugarcoat it a bit."

"You mean lie?" Joey asked.

"No," Leo said. "I mean just re-word the truth. Instead of stripper, we'll just say you worked at a club as a dancer, then you did a serving job for a bit, and then was a gardener."

"Impressive," Joey said.

"Thanks," Leo smiled. "Now start working on filling out the applications. I'm going to work on your resume."

"Okay," Joey said, his cell phone then started ringing. "Hello?"

"Joey it's Nelson."

"Hey Nelson," Joey replied. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Nelson said. "I just heard you quite the club."

"Yeah," Joey replied. "Thought I'd try something else."

"I'm going to miss you," Nelson said.

"I'll miss you too," Joey said. "How did you get my new number?"

"Derek gave it to me," Nelson replied. "He said that you got set up with a really nice place to live."

"Yeah," Joey said. "I've been really lucky."

"Do you think there's a chance I can see you soon?" Nelson asked.

"I think so," Joey replied. "How about tonight? You can come see the place I'm staying at."

"Sounds great," Nelson said. "I'll call you later sexy."

"Bye," Joey said hanging up.

"Who was that?" Leo asked turning on the Nick's old computer.

"This guy I used to work with at the club. His name's Nelson," Joey said. "We sort of had this long flirtation with one another."

"Oh yeah?" Leo asked a little unsure that this is a good guy for Joey to be interested in. "And you're seeing him tonight?"

"Yeah," Joey gushed. "He's so hot. He has that bad boy edge to him."

"Joey can I ask you something?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Joey replied.

"How many guys have you been with?" Leo asked.

"A few," Joey replied.

"How many is a few?" Leo asked. "Is it above five?"

"Yeah," Joey answered.

"Is it above seven?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Joey replied sheepishly.

"When did you first start getting with guys?" Leo asked.

"About a year ago," Joey replied.

"And you've already been with over seven guys?" Leo asked.

"Is that a crime?" Joey asked.

"How many of them have been the 'bad boy' type?" Leo asked curious.

"Most of them," Joey said.

"Joey, can I give you some advice from someone who has been a part of the partying scene and gotten mixed up with the wrong crowed?" Leo asked.

"Yes," Joey said.

"While I know those 'bad boys' are very tempting and have that dangerous element that we all like, they aren't the ones you should be with," Leo said. "Look at my boyfriend Jesse. He's the type you want to find, the good ones. They're the ones who will treat you right, who will make you feel special and make you want to better yourself."

"But aren't I a little young to be looking for someone to settle down with?" Joey asked. "Why can't I just have fun now?"

"You can have fun, but be safe," Leo said.

"Leo, it's okay I know all about safe sex," Joey said.

"I'm not just talking about that," Leo said. "The people you associate with can influence what you become. I probably wouldn't be here today if it weren't for Nick and Kurt."

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

"A while ago Jesse and I had gotten into a car accident," Leo explained. "He fell into a coma and they thought he wasn't going to come out of it. I was a wreck and started drinking a lot. I became an alcoholic. I hit rock bottom when I crashed my car into a brick wall. Nick and Kurt got me to see I had a problem and I went to rehab and got cleaned up. If it wasn't for them helping me, I wouldn't be here now."

"Wow," Joey said.

"So do you see why it's important to have good people around you?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Joey sighed.

"If I were you, I wouldn't see that guy tonight," Leo suggested.

"Okay," Joey said, but deep down he still really wanted to see Nelson.

Over at the Los Angeles Airport Ryan was waiting at the baggage claim for his daughter. He finally saw her accompanied by one of the airline stewardesses.

"Daddy!" Sydney screamed happily.

"Baby!" Ryan called out. He quickly ran up to her and picked her up in his arms tightly. "Oh I'm so happy to see you honey. You've gotten so big!"

"She was a perfect angel on the flight," the stewardess said.

"Thank you so much," Ryan said happily.

"Have a good time with your daddy," the stewardess said to Sydney.

"Thank you," Sydney replied politely.

"Come on honey," Ryan said, "Let's go get your bag and then we'll go to my place. I have so many fun things planned for us."

"What?" Sydney asked excited.

"Well first I was thinking that we go to Disneyland tomorrow!" Ryan said. Sydney started jumping up and down with excitement. Before Ryan could continue though he noticed Gab was in the baggage claim area. He wasn't sure it was him at first since he was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, but when he looked a little closer he was certain that it was him.

Ryan then noticed that Gab wasn't alone he was with another man who was also wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. As he watched the two of them he noticed how close the two were standing to one another and then was shocked to see the two holding hands.

"Daddy that's my bag!" Sydney said pointing to a bright pink little suitcase. Ryan picked it up and then carried Sydney in his arms.

"Daddy needs to say hi to a friend real quick," Ryan said making his way over to Gab.

Gab noticed Ryan approach him and quickly let go of the other guy's hand.

"Hey Ryan," Gab said nervously.

"Hey Gab," Ryan replied. "I didn't know you were flying in."

Gab went up to Ryan and whispered in his ear.

"Yeah, Kurt doesn't really know I'm here," Gab said.

"Why not?" Ryan asked getting protective of Kurt. "Who's the guy you're with?"

"Just a friend," Gab replied.

"Just a friend?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah," Gab replied. "You know, the way you're 'just a friend' of Kurt's."

"Excuse me?" Ryan asked not sure how to take that last comment.

"This isn't the place for this," Gab replied. "Can we meet later. We need to talk."

"Fine," Ryan said. "You live across the street from Monica's right?"

"Yeah," Gab said.

"I'll stop by at around seven," Ryan said.

"Okay," Gab sighed.

Ryan then left the airport with Sydney and with a lot of questions.

After Kurt was done with his therapy session he went over to see Leo and Joey at Nick's apartment...well, actually now it was Joey's apartment. When he got there the two were heavy into the job applications.

"How was your session with Dr. Walton?" Leo asked.

"It was okay," Kurt replied. "Helped me figure out some stuff I need to do. So how are things going here?"

"Busy," Joey said. "Leo brought over about twenty job applications."

"He's exaggerating," Leo defended.

"Sorry, I meant nineteen job applications," Joey joked.

"That's good though," Kurt said. "Give you some good options."

Kurt then looked around the apartment and noticed how different the place looked since Joey moved in.

"What do you think of the apartment?" Leo asked. "I picked up some things from the swap meet to help Joey decorate it."

"I see that," Kurt said. Nick's apartment used to have a real modern look to it, lots of art pieces hanging, etc. The place now had a real young look, posters of bands that Kurt never heard of hung on the walls to replace the art work, almost had a college dorm look to it.

"We changed every room except Nick's room," Leo said. "Since there were three rooms in this place Joey decided to stay in one of the other rooms so we could keep Nick's room how it was."

"Oh?" Kurt asked, happy to hear that at least one thing didn't change. "I'll be right back."

Kurt then went inside Nick's room and looked around. It was just how Nick had always had it, the bed was neatly made, his clothes were hung neatly in the closet. Kurt let out a sigh as he sat down on Nick's bed to take a moment to remember him.

"You okay?" Leo asked as he walked into the bedroom.

"Yeah," Kurt said. "I'm all right."

"It's still strange huh?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "It's going to take some getting used to."

"It was nice of Joey to want to keep this room the same though right?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "Very thoughtful of him."

"So what went on in therapy today?" Leo asked.

"She told me that I need to decide between Gab and Ryan," Kurt replied. "She thinks that it will help me get a resolution to accepting Nick's death."

"Have you decided between the two?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "I think I've always known which one I'm supposed to me with."

"Have you talked to either of them lately?" Leo asked.

"Haven't talked to Gab in a few days," Kurt replied. "Ryan is picking up his daughter today."

"His daughter's coming?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "Ryan gets her for a week."

"That's great," Leo said.

"Yeah, he's really excited," Kurt smiled. "It's cute."

Leo could tell just by the look on his face which one Kurt was most in love with.

"You going to see him at all?" Leo asked.

"Ryan?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Leo replied.

"I don't know," Kurt said. "I think that maybe I'll give him some alone time with his daughter. It's been a while since he's seen her."

"Well how about tonight you come have dinner with me and Jesse?" Leo asked.

"I think I'll just stay home tonight," Kurt said. "I don't want to be a third wheel on your guys' evening."

"You won't be," Leo said. "It'll be good. We haven't really had much time to hang out lately."

"You sure?" Kurt asked.

"Positive," Leo replied.

Meanwhile, outside in the living room Joey looked towards Nick's room to make sure that Kurt and Leo couldn't hear him then he called up Nelson.

"Hey Nelson," Joey said quietly.

"Hey, what's going on?" Nelson asked.

"How about you come over tonight around seven thirty?" Joey asked.

"Sounds perfect," Nelson replied. Joey saw Leo and Kurt start to come out of the bedroom and panicked.

"I'll call you later with directions, I have to go," Joey said before hanging up and putting his phone away before Leo could see.

"You know what? We have been working on these applications long enough today," Leo said. "Lets go get some lunch."

"Sounds like a plan," Joey said setting the applications to the side.

The three then headed out and went to the diner near the apartment. This was the first time that the three of them had a chance to sit down together.

"This is nice huh?" Leo said trying to break the ice.

"Yeah," Kurt smiled politely. He liked Joey fine, but still was being hesitant about letting him in. "So, Joey do you have any close friends?"

"Not really," Joey replied. "The friends I used to have I lost touch of when I had to start supporting myself."

"You have a boyfriend?" Kurt asked.

"No," Joey replied.

The three grew silent for a bit.

"Can I ask you something?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, sure," Kurt replied.

"I never knew Nick that well," Joey said. "I just knew he was a great guy. Can you tell me some stuff about him?"

Kurt and Leo both smiled at the memory of Nick.

"I don't even know where to start," Kurt said.

"Him and I always used to get into stupid fights," Leo remembered.

"Yeah? About what?" Joey asked.

"Everything," Kurt said. "I don't know how many times I had to play mediator between the two of them."

"We'd get in fights and then be over it in five minutes and be best friends again," Leo said.

"There was this one time when the three of us were going to go see a movie," Kurt remembered, "Leo wanted to see some action movie and Nick wanted to see a comedy. The whole car ride to the theatre they were going at it with each other trying to figure out which move we'd end up seeing."

"I remember that," Leo laughed.

Kurt then stopped to take a deep breath, tears were starting to build up in his eyes.

"You okay?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Kurt nodded wiping the tears that began to fall down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Joey said. "It was insensitive of me to ask about Nick so soon."

"No," Leo said. "It's fine. It's good for us to remember."

"I just get a little sad still is all," Kurt said.

"I'm sorry Kurt," Joey sighed.

"It's okay Joe," Kurt replied. "Don't worry about it."

"Why don't we order?" Leo asked changing the subject.

The three then spent the rest of lunch talking about things that didn't remind Kurt of Nick.

That night Kurt and Leo arrived at Jesse's place around 6:30 PM and were surprised to see Ryan there with Sydney.

"Hey Ryan," Leo said giving Ryan a hug after he gave Jesse a kiss, "I didn't know you'd be here."

"I won't stay for long," Ryan said. "I just asked Jesse to baby sit Sydney for me for about an hour."

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked.

"I just need to do something real quick," Ryan replied. "And I didn't want to drag Syd along with me."

"So you're Sydney?" Leo asked sweetly as he went up to her. "My name is Leo and that guy over there is Kurt."

"Hey Sydney," Kurt said waving to her.

"Hi," Sydney said shyly as she went and held onto Ryan's leg.

"Baby, I have to go somewhere for a bit so I want you to stay with my friends okay?" Ryan asked her kneeling down so he was face to face with her. "I won't be long."

"Okay daddy," Sydney answered giving Ryan a hug.

"I love you honey," Ryan said giving her a kiss.

Kurt smiled as he saw Ryan interacting with her. Leo and Jesse both looked over at Kurt and saw the look on his face and both gave each other a knowing smile.

"Thanks again Jesse," Ryan said giving Jesse a hug. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Bye," Jesse said as Ryan headed for the door, but before Ryan left he stopped in front of Kurt.

"You doing all right?" Ryan asked giving Kurt a hug.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Kurt replied. "Thanks Ryan."

"I'll see you later," Ryan said.

"All right," Kurt answered as Ryan left.

Ryan then went over to Gab's place. When he got there Gab was outside waiting for him.

"Thanks for coming," Gab said.

"Yeah," Ryan replied.

"Come on in," Gab said as the two went inside.

"I can't stay long," Ryan said. "I just want to know if you're cheating on Kurt."

"Wow, you really get right to the point," Gab said.

"Are you?" Ryan asked.

Gab was quiet for a moment, but then sighed, "Yes."

"How could you cheat on him?" Ryan asked. "After everything he is going through."

"Has he cheated on me?" Gab asked.

"No," Ryan replied. "I'll admit a while back I kissed him, but he pushed me off because he didn't want to betray you."

"Really?" Gab asked.

"Yes," Ryan replied. "He's been faithful to you and right now he needs you to be there for him, not cheat on him."

"I can't connect with him the way you can," Gab said.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"You connect with Kurt on a level that I can't," Gab replied. "I've tried, but I just can't get through to him and since Nick died he just has shut himself off emotionally from me. I love him, but I just can't give him what he needs."

"So what are you saying?" Ryan asked.

"I'm saying you win," Gab replied. "You're the one that Kurt should be with. I'm going to end things with him, but please promise me that you won't tell him I cheated on him. You're right, he's going through enough with out having to deal with my cheating on him. Just promise me that when I do break up with him that you'll be there for him and take care of him."

"Yeah," Ryan nodded completely shocked by the way this conversation turned out.

"Thanks," Gab said. "For what it's worth I really do love him."

"I know," Ryan said. "It's hard not to fall for a guy like him."

"And Ryan, can I give you a piece of advice?" Gab asked.

"I guess," Ryan said a little confused.

"If you do get back with Kurt make sure you never leave him," Gab said. "Do you know about the abandonment issues he has?"

"No," Ryan replied.

"Well, he has a history of important people in his life leaving him," Gab said. "First his dad died, then his first boyfriend left him, you left him once and now Nick. He's just really fragile about people leaving him, so if you get back with him never let go of him."

"Okay," Ryan nodded.

"So I guess we're done here," Gab said.

"Yeah," Ryan replied. "I guess so."

Ryan then headed to the door, but before he left he had to ask, "Gab, why didn't you try to fight for him?"

"You can't fight for something you never really had," Gab said. "While he may have been with me, his heart always belonged to you. I just never wanted to see it before."

Ryan just gave a grateful smile and quietly left.

Meanwhile, Joey was in his room looking at himself in the mirror making sure he looked good when Nelson knocked on the door.

"Hey," Joey smiled as he opened the door for him. Nelson was sexy, dangerously sexy, he's the type who can do anything and say anything and get away with it because of his looks. He had piercing blue eyes and dark hair and had the perfect body, although it was covered tonight with a black leather jacket and dark jeans.

"Hey you," Nelson replied leaning in and kissing Joey. "So this is your place huh?"

"Yeah," Joey said. "Come on in."

Joey then noticed Nelson had a backpack with him.

"What's with the backpack?" Joey asked.

"I have to go to work tonight," Nelson said. "So I put my work clothes in here."

"You're work clothes?" Joey laughed. "You mean the speedo and body glitter counts as work clothes?"

"Yes it does," Nelson replied.

Nelson walked around and admired the apartment.

"It's great," Nelson said. "A definite step up from where you were staying before."

"Yeah, I really lucked out," Joey said.

"It's a huge place," Nelson said.

"I know," Joey replied. "Three bedrooms."

"Damn! Hey, I have an idea," Nelson said. "Maybe I should move in here with you."

Nelson then leaned in and started kissing Joey on the neck.

"As tempting as that is," Joey began, "I can't. I don't own this place, the people who own it are just kind enough to let me stay here."

"That's too bad," Nelson said. "Because I think we could have had a good time. It'd be like that one night we had together."

"Oh, I remember," Joey said. "But we can't."

"Well show me around the place," Nelson said.

"All right," Joey said as he began to give Nelson a tour of the apartment.

Later when Ryan got back to Jesse's place they were all watching a kids movie and coloring with Sydney. Everyone except Kurt that is.

"Hey guys," Ryan said walking into the living room. He then went over to Sydney, "Hey sweetie. You been having fun?"

"Yeah," Sydney replied.

"She's been a perfect little angel," Jesse smiled.

"Good," Ryan said. He then looked over at Kurt who was sitting in the corner of the couch in the living room away from the rest of them. "Hey Kurt."

"Hi," Kurt smiled. Ryan went over and sat next to him.

"What's wrong?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing," Kurt replied. "I'm just not really good with kids. I'm afraid I'm going to break them or something."

"You won't," Ryan laughed. "They're not made of glass."

"I know, but they're so young and influential at that age," Kurt said. "I don't want to do anything to mess up a kid."

Ryan just laughed. Before he could comment on that Kurt's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" Kurt answered.

"Hey, it's me," Gab said.

"Oh hey," Kurt said. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm in town," Gab replied. "Can you come over? I need to talk to you."

"You're in town?" Kurt asked. "When did you get in to town?"

"Can you just come over please?" Gab asked.

"Um, sure," Kurt replied. "I'll be right there."

Kurt then hung up the phone and got up.

"Who was that?" Leo asked.

"It was Gab," Kurt replied. "He's in town. He didn't tell me he was coming. I'm going to go see him. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Okay," Jesse said.

"Bye," Kurt said giving each of them a kiss goodbye.

"I'll call you later Kurt," Ryan said giving Kurt a hug.

"Okay," Kurt smiled. "I need to talk to you later too."

"All right," Ryan nodded.

After Kurt left Ryan sat down with Leo and Jesse while Sydney continued to draw.

"So where were you tonight?" Leo asked.

"He went over to see Gab," Jesse answered.

"What?" Leo asked confused.

"I was telling Jesse before you guys came over tonight that I ran into Gab at the airport when I was picking Sydney up," Ryan explained, "And he was with another guy."

"Oh," Leo said. "So is he going to break up with Kurt?"

"Yeah," Ryan replied. "I hope Kurt handles it all right."

"He will," Leo said. "Believe me. He will."

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked.

"Let's just say that his heart was never in that relationship," Leo replied. "It was always with someone else."

Leo then gave Ryan a knowing smile.

Later that night Joey and Nelson were laying on the couch in the living room kissing, they were about to start taking off each other's clothes before Nelson got up.

"I'll be right back," Nelson smiled giving Joey a kiss. "I just need to use the restroom."

"Okay," Joey replied.

Nelson then went up and quietly went into Nick's room and started looking around. He then started to go through Nick's drawers and started stuffing clothes and anything of value he could find into his backpack he brought with him.

In the living room Joey was laying down on the couch still when he heard some noise going on in Nick's room. Joey quickly got up and went into the bedroom when he saw Nelson take Nick's watch and put it on his wrist.

"What are you doing?!" Joey asked shocked.

"Dammit," Nelson sighed.

"Nelson, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Joey asked.

"What do you care?" Nelson asked. "This isn't your stuff."

"Yeah and it's not yours either," Joey replied. "Put it back."

"Please, like you never stole anything," Nelson said. "Remember when we went to the liquor store last month and took some beers?"

"Yeah, but I'm trying to change my life around," Joey replied. "Now give me the stuff you've taken."

"Come on Joe," Nelson said. "I'll take off after this and you won't have to see me again."

"No," Joey said. "I want that stuff back. If anything happens to this room there are people who are going to be really pissed at me."

"And that's my problem?" Nelson asked.

"Give me the stuff!" Joey ordered.

"Whatever," Nelson said holding up the backpack. Joey started to reach out and grab it when Nelson grabbed his arm and threw him against the dresser shattering the hanging mirror on the wall behind it and knocking all the framed pictures that were sitting on the dresser to the floor. Joey quickly got up and shoved Nelson into the bedside lamp and table forcing Nelson to drop the backpack. The table collapsed beneath Nelson and the lamp shattered into a million pieces.

"Now get the hell out of here," Joey ordered.

"You're pathetic," Nelson said. "You think you can change your life just by living in a nice place, well you can't. At the end of the day you're just like me."

Nelson then walked out of the apartment. Joey looked around Nick's room and felt his heart sink when he saw that it had been completely destroyed.

"They're going to kill me," Joey sighed to himself.

Later that night at around eleven, after Kurt got done talking to Gab he went over to Ryan's place and knocked lightly on the door.

"Hey Kurt," Ryan smiled when he opened the door.

"Sorry to come so late," Kurt said. "I hope I didn't wake Sydney up."

"No, she's fast asleep," Ryan said. "What's up?"

"Well, I just got done talking to Gab," Kurt replied.

"Oh?" Ryan asked. "How did that go?"

"We broke up," Kurt said.

"You okay?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah," Kurt nodded. "To tell you the truth if he didn't break up with me I was going to break up with him. So it was inevitable."

"Why were you going to break up with him?" Ryan asked.

"You know why," Kurt replied.

"I think I do," Ryan said. "But I don't want to be wrong so I need you to tell me."

Kurt smiled, "Ryan, you're the one."

Ryan then leaned in and kissed Kurt. The two wrapped their arms around each other and finally were able to kiss each other they way they've been wanting to for so long.

"Do you want to come in?" Ryan asked.

"Maybe tomorrow," Kurt replied. "There's something I need to do."

"So late?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "But I'll call you tomorrow."

"All right," Ryan said giving Kurt a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt replied.

Kurt then left and went to do the final thing he needed to do.

Meanwhile, Leo and Jesse quickly rushed over to Joey's place after he gave them a frantic phone call. Leo was in shock when he saw Nick's room.

"What happened?" Leo asked looking at all the damage.

"I had that guy, Nelson, come over and we were kissing at first then he left and started to try and steal things from in here, but I came in and tried to stop him," Joey explained.

"You had Nelson come over?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Joey said sheepishly, "I know you told me not to, but I really wanted to see him and I didn't think he'd do this."

"Joey," Leo sighed. "Look at this place."

"I know," Joey said. "I'm so sorry."

"Kurt is going to flip when he sees this," Jesse said.

"Yeah," Leo said. "Big time."

"How much of my face will be recognizable after Kurt finishes pounding it in?" Joey asked scarred.

"So much for keeping Nick's room the same," Leo sighed.

"Leo, I'm so sorry," Joey said. "I didn't mean to screw up like this."

"I know," Leo said. "It's okay. I'm just trying to figure out what we're going to say to Kurt."

The three of them looked around and knew that the room was beyond trying to fix it up before Kurt could see it, they were going to have to tell Kurt that Nick's room has been destroyed.

A little later Kurt finally got to the place he needed to be. Nick's grave. He slowly walked to the grave stone that read 'Nick Doherty 1979-2007. Beloved Son and Friend.'

Kurt took a moment to remember Nick and for once didn't cry at the memory of him, but felt gratitude for having the time he did with him. He knew he couldn't bring Nick back, but he did realize that life did go on.

"I love you Nick," Kurt said. "Thank you for everything."

And Kurt finally reached the fifth and final stage of the grieving process, acceptance.

To Be Continued...

With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much!

Next: Chapter 34


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