Phases

By Kirk Landers

Published on Apr 4, 2007

Gay

Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you.

Hope you are all enjoying the direction this new season is going to be headed. Here's part 19 entitled "Luke."

'LUKE'

It was a nice sunny day. There were blue skies, bright shinning sun, a beautiful Southern California day. However, this beautiful day went unnoticed by Nick who was getting ready to go meet his ex-boyfriend, Luke, for lunch. He changed clothes about twenty times, not so much that he wanted to impress Luke, but he wanted Luke to see what he lost. As he was getting dressed he was on the phone with Kurt.

"I still can't believe you actually took my advice," Kurt said.

"Well, I figured that you probably have a point," Nick said, "I haven't been able to have a good relationship since Luke. I should probably figure out why that is."

"Exactly," Kurt said. "Well, I'm glad, you owe it to yourself to do this."

"I just hope I can get through this lunch," Nick sighed.

"Nick, do you still have feelings for Luke?" Kurt asked, "I mean, I know it's been a long time, but is there still something there?"

"No," Nick answered a little too quickly.

"Liar," Kurt replied.

"Okay, well obviously there will always be something there," Nick said, "I mean, it was Luke, him and I were practically married to each other. So of course there will always be something there."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed, "I guess that's how it's going to be for how I feel about Ryan."

"Well, of all the guys you've been with, he's the only one that I saw you really loved," Nick pointed out. "But Reese seems like a good guy."

"Um, yeah," Kurt said thinking about last week when he had sex with him. "Yeah, he's great."

"Everything all right with you two?" Nick asked, sensing something was off.

"We're fine," Kurt lied, "Everything is great."

"All right, well I need to get going," Nick said, "Wish me luck."

"Good luck Nick," Kurt replied, "Hope it goes well."

"Thanks, I'll call you later," Nick said hanging up.

Nick took a once over at his outfit, he wore a nice pair of jeans that Kurt had gotten him from the magazine, a casual button up shirt and a leather jacket. He wanted to look nice, but not look like he was dressing up for Luke. Giving an approving nod he headed out to meet Luke.

Up at the rehab center Leo was in his room with Tristan talking. For the past week Leo has been getting feelings about Tristan, feelings that he used to have when he was with Jesse. While he liked the feelings that he had, he also felt incredibly guilty over having them, after all, a part of him still felt like he was with Jesse. Even though he knew that Jesse might never wake up. He knew all that and kept telling himself that, but a part of him will always feel like he's with Jesse because there was never any real closure there between the two.

"You've been awfully quiet these past few days," Tristan pointed out, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Leo replied, "I'm fine."

"You haven't been slipping at all have you?" Tristan asked worried.

"No," Leo answered quickly, "It's not that at all."

"What is it?" Tristan asked concerned.

Leo was so tempted to tell Tristan, but he didn't want those feelings to be there himself, so for his sake, he needed to keep it quiet and hopefully the feelings will go away.

"It's just that I've been thinking a lot about Jesse lately," Leo said, "That's all."

"I see," Tristan nodded understandingly. "Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks," Leo said. "I don't know what I'd do with out you."

"Ditto," Tristan replied giving Leo a hug. Leo slowly melted into the hug and smiled to himself liking the way it felt to be in Tristan's arms. "Well, we have a couple hours to kill before lunch, want to go for a run?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," Leo said snapping back into reality. "I'll get dressed and meet you out front."

"Sounds good," Tristan said heading back to his room.

Leo took a look at himself in the mirror and for the first time saw a ray of happiness shine through in his face.

"Stop it Leo," he said to himself, "This isn't right."

Leo felt he couldn't fall for Tristan, it was wrong. Wasn't it? Maybe not.

When Nick finally arrived at the restaurant, he spotted Luke sitting alone at a table waiting for him.

Nick paused a moment before entering and couldn't help but remember the good times the two used to have together. He took a big breath and then walked towards Luke.

Luke looked up from the empty chair at the table he was staring at and saw Nick walk his way, "Hey." Luke smiled and got up to greet Nick giving him a friendly hug. "It's so good to see you again."

"Hey Luke," Nick said trying his best to resist the charm that Luke gives off.

"So how have you been?" Luke asked.

"I've been really good," Nick boasted, wanting Luke to think that he's been living an amazing life since they broke up.

"I was really glad you called me and wanted to meet," Luke said, "I didn't like the way we ended things the last time we ran into each other."

"Yeah well, considering our history, it seemed like a pretty appropriate way to act," Nick shot.

"I know," Luke answered looking down at his drink in shame, "I deserved it. I did a horrible thing to you."

The two shared an uncomfortable silence before the waitress came to take Nick's drink order.

"So, you said you wanted to talk to me too," Nick said after the waitress left, "Why?"

"I just wanted to see how you were," Luke said, "I think about you a lot. Especially during this time."

"This time?" Nick asked confused.

"You don't remember?" Luke asked stung, "Next week is would have been four years for us."

"Four years?" Nick asked surprised that it's been that long, "Well, we only made it to one."

"I wish we could have made it longer," Luke said regretfully.

"Well who's fault is that?" Nick asked.

"I know," Luke replied, "It was my fault, completely. I guess I thought that when I got transferred to Chicago that it would have just pulled us apart eventually so I thought it would be easier-"

"Luke, we don't need to go into that," Nick said interrupting him. "These things just happened."

"If it makes you feel better I regret it," Luke offered.

"You regret it?" Nick asked not believing him, "So that's why you and what's-his-name have been together ever since we broke up?"

"We broke up," Luke said.

"What?" Nick asked surprised.

"We broke up a few months ago," Luke replied.

"Sucks breaking up with someone you loved a lot huh?" Nick jabbed.

"Actually, it wasn't that bad," Luke replied, "Him and I never had what we had."

"Here's your drink," the waitress said coming back and putting a stop to a conversation that Nick wasn't sure he wanted to continue. "Are you two ready to order?"

"We need some more time please," Nick said.

The waitress left again leaving them alone.

At the magazine, Kurt was hiding out in his office writing. Ever since the night he slept with Reese, he hasn't been able to act the same around him. Reese has sensed it too so he's been trying extra hard to romance Kurt. While Kurt was working, Reese came into his office with a little black box tied with a red satin ribbon.

"Here," Reese said placing it in front of Kurt on his desk.

"What's this?" Kurt asked.

"Just a little gift I wanted to give the most amazing man I've ever met," Reese said with a smile.

Kurt opened the gift and took out a beautiful Cartier watch.

"Oh my God," Kurt said stunned.

"Do you like it?" Reese asked hopeful.

"Reese, it's amazing," Kurt said taking the watch out of the box gently as if he was holding it so tenderly as if it would shatter into a million pieces.

"I wanted to get it for you to show you how much you mean to me," Reese said taking Kurt's hand. "I've noticed things have been a little weird between us. Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," Kurt said.

"No, there's something," Reese sensed, "Tell me. Is it because we slept together last week? Was it too soon?"

"I don't know," Kurt replied, "I don't know how to explain it. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Kurt said giving Reese a kiss, "Thank you for the concern and for the watch."

"Can I take you out to dinner tonight?" Reese asked.

"Only if I could pay," Kurt replied, "Least I can do for this gift."

"All right," Reese said, "I'll make reservations at that French restaurant a few blocks from here."

"Sounds good," Kurt said, "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Reese said giving Kurt one last kiss before heading out of the office. Kurt smiled as he looked down at his new watch. It was a really sweet gift for Reese to get him, but he hoped that Reese knew that it isn't gifts that impress him, it's sincerity and kindness that really win him over. However, it didn't mean that he didn't like the gift any less. Maybe it was just him making himself feel weird about sleeping with Reese last week, after all, what could possibly be wrong with a guy like Reese? To Kurt he seemed like everything one could want in a man, kind, charming, self-assured, good looking, successful. He was the total package.

Up at the rehab center Leo and Tristan were taking a run around the grounds. They were having a nice day out, it was a beautiful day to go running. They stopped under a shaded tree to catch their breath and rest for a bit.

"Good run," Tristan said. "You're fast."

"I like running," Leo said, "I used to really love swimming."

"You swim?" Tristan asked.

"Used to be on the swim team in college," Leo replied.

"Oh really?" Tristan asked, "I used to do water polo."

"We should have gone swimming instead of run," Leo said.

"Yeah seriously," Tristan replied, "Although, I don't like taking my shirt off around people so much any more. I've gotten a bit of a gut from when I was messed up."

"A gut?" Leo asked, "You look great to me."

"You should have seen me before," Tristan joked with a wink.

"Don't get too full of yourself," Leo said playfully hitting Tristan on the arm.

"Well, I may not be as fit as I used to be, but I'm still pretty strong," Tristan replied with a smile taking Leo up on the playfulness and began to wrestle a little bit with him. They two laughed and rolled around on the grass before Leo got pinned on the ground with Tristan above him holding his arms down. Leo looked up and became completely enamored with him.

"Wow," Leo said to himself, but didn't realize he said it loud enough for Tristan to hear.

"Wow what?" Tristan asked.

"You heard that?" Leo asked busted.

"Yeah, what?" Tristan asked. "Am I hurting you?" Tristan got off of Leo.

"Oh no, it's not that," Leo replied. "It's not that at all."

"Everything okay?" Tristan asked seeing Leo was starting to act a little weird.

"Yeah, great," Leo said. "I just remembered I had to go do something. I'll see you later."

"You want me to come with you?" Tristan asked as Leo started running back towards the center.

"No, I'm fine," Leo called out, "Enjoy your run."

Leo ran as fast as he could away from Tristan, he couldn't believe that he was letting himself fall for him.

"So, uh, what did you want to talk about?" Luke asked changing the subject.

"Kurt thought it was a good idea for me to meet with you and talk with you," Nick said.

"Oh yeah? About what?" Luke asked.

"I can't believe I'm even about to share this information with you," Nick said shaking his head.

"What is it?"

"Ever since we broke up, I haven't been able to commit to anyone," Nick said hating himself for revealing this to Luke.

"Really?" Luke asked feeling horribly.

"Yeah," Nick said, "And Kurt and Leo think that the reason for that is because of you."

"I see," Luke said nodding. "I never apologized to you did I?"

"You have," Nick replied, "I guess I just never really forgave you."

"I wish you would," Luke said, "I've never stopped feeling bad for what happened. I know it was my fault. If I could do it all over again, there are a million things I would have done differently."

For the first time Nick really saw the sincerity of what Luke was saying and really felt that Luke regretted it and that made Nick feel great.

"You know, I've been holding on to this anger towards you for so long," Nick said. "But seeing you here today, seeing that you're not that horrible person I had made you out to be, it helps."

"Yeah?" Luke asked.

"Yeah," Nick nodded, "I can finally let go."

Nick got up and put down some money on the table to pay for his drink.

"I should go," Nick said giving Luke a hug. "Take care of yourself."

"You don't have to go," Luke said not wanting Nick to leave.

"I think I should," Nick said, "Thank you though."

Nick then walked away leaving Luke at the table alone wishing that Nick wouldn't let go of him.

That afternoon Leo was having a one on one meeting with a counselor at the center. The counselor, Sharon, has been Leo's go to person for a while and felt that he had to tell her about his growing feelings for Tristan.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Sharon asked.

"Well, would you say it's a good idea for two people to start dating in rehab?" Leo asked going straight to the point.

"A good idea?" Sharon asked, "We strongly recommend that you don't date your first year of being sober. Are you interested in someone here?"

"I don't know if I want to date this person, but I'm definitely developing feelings," Leo confessed.

"Leo, just focus on staying sober. You're doing so great," Sharon said, "Save dating for later."

"You think?" Leo asked.

"I do," Sharon replied, "I've noticed lately that you've just seemed to be in better spirits. It's as if something inside was awakened. I actually have been thinking lately that you might be ready to leave here."

"Really?" Leo asked.

"Absolutely," Sharon replied, "You have been sober now for two months and haven't shown any signs of a threat for a relapse."

"You really think I can go home?" Leo asked.

"I do," Sharon replied. "You'll need to get a sponsor and attend meetings, but there doesn't seem to be a reason why you have to stay here. You can do that at home."

"Wow," Leo sighed not believing what Sharon just said, he can actually leave? But was he ready?

"You seem hesitant," Sharon pointed out.

"I don't know, I guess I just wasn't really preparing for this," Leo said.

"Really?" Sharon asked, "When you first got here it seemed like you couldn't wait to get out."

"I just feel safe here," Leo replied, "I feel like I'm protected. If I leave, what if I can't do it on my own?"

"That's what your sponsor and the meetings are for," Sharon said, "To remind you that you're not alone. There's a support group for you."

Leo thought it over, is he resistant to leave because he's worried he might slip or does this all have to do with Tristan?

Nick went over to Bradley's office. When he got there Bradley was sitting in his office on the phone when he looked up and saw Nick come in. Bradley quickly wrapped up the phone call and hung up.

"Hey, hope I'm not interrupting," Nick said coming into his office.

"It's fine," Bradley replied, "Although I think I might have just agreed to plan a party for three hundred in less than a week. So what are you doing here?"

"Just came by to see you," Nick said giving Bradley a kiss.

"Really?" Bradley asked surprised, "That's sweet of you. You've never done that before."

"I know," Nick replied, "And I know I've been really resistant about being more romantic towards us. But I want to start over with you."

"Yeah?" Bradley asked happily.

"Yeah," Nick replied, "Starting with a home cooked meal tonight. Why don't you come over after work?"

"Sounds perfect," Bradley said, "I can't wait."

"Great," Nick said giving him a kiss, "Well, I'll let you get back to work. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye," Bradley said, "And Nick."

"Yeah?" Nick asked.

"Thank you for stopping by," Bradley replied, "It means a lot."

"Of course," Nick said, "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to show you that I care."

Meanwhile, Kurt was in his office when Leo called him.

"Hey you," Kurt answered, "What's up?"

"I need advice," Leo said

"What is it?" Kurt asked.

"My counselor said that I could leave rehab," Leo replied.

"Leo, that's great!" Kurt enthused. "Why do you need advice?"

"Because I don't know if I'm ready to leave," Leo answered.

"You're not?" Kurt asked. "Why?"

"I just don't want to leave and risk slipping up again," Leo said, "I don't want to put you and Nick through that again."

"Leo we'll be here for you," Kurt said, "And besides you'd still be going to meetings right?"

"Yeah and I have to get a sponsor," Leo said.

"So you'll be fine," Kurt replied. "I think you know that too. Is there another reason you don't want to leave?"

"Kind of," Leo said.

"What is it?" Kurt asked.

"Tristan," Leo replied sheepishly.

"Tristan?" Kurt asked confused, "You want to stay there because of Tristan?"

"Yeah," Leo answered.

"Oh my God," Kurt realized, "You like him don't you?"

"Maybe," Leo replied, "I don't know. This is all your fault."

"How is it my fault?" Kurt asked.

"I never noticed these feelings for him before until you brought it up when you and Nick visited me last week," Leo replied.

"Leo, this is a good thing," Kurt said, "If you like him, go for it."

"But that's the thing," Leo said. "What if I leave? I might not get a chance to go for it."

"Leo, rehab isn't a dating center," Kurt said, "You don't need to be there if you want to be with him. Besides, it expensive there."

"I know and I really appreciate you and Nick paying for it," Leo said. "But I just don't want to lose touch with him."

"Then just make a move," Kurt said.

"I don't know if I'm ready yet," Leo said. "I still feel like I'd be cheating on Jesse."

"Oh Leo," Kurt sighed understandingly. "Can I be candid with you?"

"Always," Leo replied.

"Leo, you don't have to worry about cheating on Jesse," Kurt said gently. "As much as I hate to say it, he's not really with us anymore. You have to move on."

"I know, but it's Jesse," Leo said.

"I know," Kurt replied, "But you have to start living your life. And if you ask me, I think that Tristan might be a good one to start living your life with."

"He is really sweet," Leo said.

"Then go for it," Kurt said, "What do you have to lose?"

"I guess you're right," Leo replied.

"Of course I'm right," Kurt said.

"Thanks Kurt," Leo said. "Love you."

"Love you too," Kurt replied before he hung up.

That night, Bradley went over to Nick's place. Nick cooked the two of them a nice meal and were now eating dessert together.

"This is great cake," Bradley said taking a bite. "You made it from scratch?"

"Of course," Nick replied.

"A guy can get used to this," Bradley said with a smile.

"I hope you do," Nick replied. "So, I wanted to talk to you about us."

"So now you want to have the talk?" Bradley asked pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah," Nick answered. "I have to tell you why I've been hesitant about being with you, or with anyone for that matter."

"I thought it was because of Leo."

"I thought so to," Nick replied, "But it runs deeper then that."

"Oh?" Bradley asked curious.

"Yeah," Nick said, before he could explain there was a knock on the door. "I'll be right back."

Nick went to answer the door and was more than surprised when he saw Luke standing there.

"Luke?" Nick asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," Luke replied.

"Now's not a good time," Nick said closing the door. "You need to leave."

"No, I need to say this," Luke said, "Please, just give me one minute."

"Fine. One minute," Nick said stepping outside and closing the door.

"Don't let me go," Luke pleaded.

"What?" Nick asked.

"You said that you could finally let me go," Luke replied. "But I don't want you too."

"Luke, what are you saying?" Nick asked.

"I'm saying that I love you," Luke replied, "I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

"So that's why you were with someone else?" Nick snapped. "You're just saying this because you're single now."

"No I'm not," Luke replied, "I tried making that relationship with Wayne work, but the whole time we were together I always thought of you."

"Then why did you stay with him?" Nick asked.

"Because I knew I hurt you so much," Luke replied, "I figured I made my bed, I might as well lie in it. But I don't think it's too late for us. I hope not anyway."

"It is," Nick said turning to head inside, but Luke stopped him.

"Wait," Luke said turning Nick around and kissing him.

Nick protested at first, but then gave in and kissed Luke back, remembering how good it was to kiss him and how it made him felt, but then he remembered Bradley waiting inside and pushed Luke away.

"You son of a bitch," Nick said, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you," Luke said, "And I think you still love me."

"You know, I thought I could finally move on from you," Nick said, "I thought I could finally put you behind me and start over. You once again complicated my life."

"I'm sorry, but I had to tell you how I feel," Luke said, "I love you and we belong together. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to see that."

Before Nick could respond his apartment door opened and Bradley stepped out.

"Hi," Bradley said quietly, "I couldn't help but overhear."

"Bradley," Nick sighed, "Let me explain."

"No," Bradley replied, "It's okay. I understand why you were hesitant about starting up a relationship. You can't move forward with a future if your heart is still in the past."

"Bradley it's not like that," Nick protested, but knew in his heart that Bradley was right.

"Nick, really," Bradley said, "I understand. I'm going to get going."

Bradley then left leaving Nick and Luke alone in the hall together.

"I'm sorry," Luke said, "I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Yeah you did," Nick sighed. "Just go."

"But Nick," Luke said, "What about us?"

"What us?" Nick asked, "There is no us, there hasn't been an us in years. You can't just say sorry and expect everything to go back to the way it was."

"We can try," Luke suggested.

Nick stood there, not knowing what he wanted. "Why should I give you a second chance?"

"Because I love you," Luke simply said. "I really and truly love you."

"I really need to think about this," Nick sighed. "I'll talk to you later."

Nick went inside and closed the door on Luke.

Back at the rehab center, Leo was sitting for dinner with Tristan. He just told Tristan that he might be leaving rehab soon.

"Wow, that's great," Tristan said. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," Leo replied. "I guess it's pretty cool."

"When would you leave?" Tristan asked.

"I guess in a few days," Leo replied.

"Wow," Tristan replied, "Soon."

"Yeah," Leo said.

"Leo, can I talk to you privately for a minute?" Tristan asked.

"Of course," Leo said as they got up and went to Leo's room.

When they got there Tristan started to nervously pace the room.

"What's up?" Leo asked.

"All right," Tristan said, "Well, I'm just going to say this because you're leaving soon and I will regret not telling you."

"Tell me what?" Leo asked confused.

"I've wanted to tell you this for a while," Tristan said, "But I like you a lot. And I know you might not be ready to open up to someone again because of what happened to your last boyfriend and I understand and I get it..."

As Tristan started rambling, Leo stood there in shock.

He had no idea that Tristan had the same feelings for him that he had for Tristan.

"...and I never get nervous when telling someone I like them, but somehow you have me rambling on and on and I realize that you probably don't feel the same, but I just had to tell you," Tristan continued. "So let me just say that I'm so happy for you that you can leave, but at the same time I'm sad because you won't be here anymore, here with me..."

Leo interrupted Tristan's rambling by kissing him.

"You just said everything that I had been wanting to tell you," Leo said.

"Yeah?" Tristan asked.

"Yeah," Leo replied kissing Tristan some more. "You make me feel good, you make me feel happy again. I never thought I'd feel like this after Jesse's accident, but then you came into my life."

"I've never met anyone like you," Tristan said, "I've fallen for you completely."

Leo kissed Tristan some more, for the first time he didn't think about Jesse. It didn't feel wrong for him to be kissing Tristan, it felt right, for the first time, Leo saw the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. He knew that he shouldn't date so soon after sobering up, but it just felt right.

That night after dinner Kurt was over at Reese's place. The two were sitting on his couch kissing when Kurt abruptly got up.

"I completely spaced, I left some papers at work I was going to work on," Kurt said.

"Just worry about it tomorrow," Reese said.

"No, I can't," Kurt said, "I wasn't going to go into the office tomorrow so I really need those. Would you mind if I took your keys and went now?"

"Now?" Reese asked, "I thought we could have some fun right now."

Reese started kissing Kurt's neck.

"We can when I get back," Kurt said, "I promise."

"All right," Reese sighed, "My keys are on the counter."

"Thank you," Kurt said going to the kitchen counter and grabbing the keys and cell phone. "I'll be right back."

In the car Kurt picked up the cell to call Nick, but when he was scrolling through the phone list he saw a bunch of numbers he didn't recognize, he looked at his phone and realized he grabbed Reese's phone. He called Reese's apartment number.

"Hello?" Reese answered.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I grabbed your phone by accident," Kurt said. "I forgot we have the same model phone."

"Oh, okay," Reese replied, "No problem."

"If anyone calls my cell while I'm gone can you just take a message for me?" Kurt asked.

"Of course," Reese replied.

"Thanks," Kurt said before hanging up.

When Kurt got to the office he was grabbing his papers and lap top and was heading out when Reese's cell phone rang. Forgetting that it wasn't his phone, Kurt answered it.

"Hello?" Kurt asked.

"Reese?" a female voice asked.

"Oh sorry," Kurt replied, "This isn't him. I have his phone by accident. Can I take a message?"

"Um, can you just tell him to call Laurie Covington."

"What?" Kurt asked gravely. "Laurie Covington as in the mother of Ryan's daughter?"

"Who is this?" Laurie asked.

"Kurt."

"Oh my God. I have to go," Laurie said.

"No, don't hang up," Kurt said, "Why are you calling Reese?"

"I really have to go," Laurie said.

"No, wait!" Kurt protested, but Laurie hung up.

Kurt was in disbelief. Why was Laurie calling Reese? What was going on? Kurt walked out of his office and went into Reese's. He started to look around on his desk for papers, letters, anything that could give him answers. He then went to the computer and started going through the files. Kurt looked and saw an icon marked 'Confidential.' Kurt clicked the icon and found himself in shock at what he found.

"Oh my God," Kurt said gravely.

To Be Continued...

With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com Thanks so much!

Next: Chapter 20


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