Disclaimer:
This story is intended for adult audiences. If you are not an adult 18+, 21 in some areas, please do not go on.
I have been writing for some years, but this is the first time that I have shared my writing with the public. Any encouragement would be well appreciated and replied to at virtualinsanity78@yahoo.com
For those of you who have encouraged me, I want you to know I really appreciate it and look forward to seeing your reaction to the coming installments!
Chapter Two
Wade stood beside Jonathan's locker in the crowded hallway. Jon was sticking a picture of Shannon Callahan, his girlfriend of the past ten years, up in a prominent position.
Wade hid a grin. The two had been in love since Jon had poured milk on her lap in the second grade. They were inseparable.
"Don't you see enough of her every day?" Wade teased and Jon laughed, staring at her picture for a moment. "You wish you were as lucky as me," Jon said with a happy grin and Wade felt a pang in his heart that he ignored.
"What are you saying?" Wade laughed. "Being with Tiffany Taylor makes me the luckiest guy on the planet."
Jon shoved some books into his backpack and slammed the locker. "Any guy would be lucky to get a girl like Tiffany," Jon admitted and Wade grinned. He was proud of the fact that the best looking girl in the whole school was his girlfriend. What guy wouldn't be?
As if she knew that they were talking about her, she rounded the corner and stopped when she saw them, drawing rapt stares in her wake. She was a breath of fresh air, a pretty little blonde with wide green eyes, a mass of cascading blonde curls and a tight, flawless body displayed to perfection in a clinging, flowery pink dress with a matching mini sweater. She had used glitter on her eyes and she sparkled as she smiled at Wade.
"Hey, pumpkin," Wade said warmly as she approached him, her heels tapping on the linoleum floor. Wade admired everything about her, from the pink butterfly clip in her hair to the dusky glitter nail polish on her toes. Some soft, fruity fragrance wafted around her and Wade took her hand.
"Hi," she said with a warm, shy smile.
"How's your first day of school going?" he asked and Jon stared at the pair for a moment. With Wade's tall, dark, and muscular good looks and Tiffany's flawless blonde innocence, they seemed to be the perfect couple. If he hadn't observed firsthand their genuine affection for each other, he would have thought it was too good to be true. Still, Tiffany worshipped Wade and whenever she cast those heart-wrenching green eyes on him, Wade seemed to soften as well.
"Good," she said happily, beaming. "Janice and Mary are in my Spanish class."
"That's awesome," he said and Jon turned away from the warm intimacy in their voices. "You'll never believe what McNealy said to me in fourth period."
"What?" she asked, her bright eyes adoring his face.
"New York State College is considering me for a football scholarship," Wade nearly burst with the news and Tiffany practically bounced. Her acceptance letter from NYSC was already pinned up on a bulletin board in her bedroom. She had applied for early admission at the end of their junior year and spent most of her months that summer at the university's Cheerleading camp.
"That's incredible," she gushed and Wade grinned. "I know," he said. "It would only be a partial one. My dad would have to pay for the other half and I wouldn't be in the starting lineup at least not the first year."
"So what," she exclaimed happily. "We would be at college together and after you played for the first year, you'd be a starter for sure. I can cheer for you from the sidelines!" Wade grinned at her enthusiasm. She was always good for his morale. It never hurt to have a beautiful, sweet girl like her support his every move.
"Yeah," he said and pulled her close for a lingering kiss. He admired her flushed face when he was done. It didn't matter that his body didn't share in the excitement of the kiss with her.
Wade had met her during their freshmen year, but hadn't even thought to ask her out until more than a year later. The football season was partially finished and Wade, along with Jon, was the youngest player on the varsity team. Tiffany was a sophomore, too and a lot like Wade and Jon because she had skipped over the junior varsity cheer squad and been selected for the varsity squad, which was reserved for juniors and seniors. He had heard of her before. She was popular with the upperclassmen because she was so pretty and all the boys fantasized about her. Still, she and any other girls had been conspicuously absent from any of Wade's imaginings.
When he was coming out of the locker room late after a game, he had heard her faint whimpers and had looked around to find her huddled in a corner of the hallway in tears.Against his baser instincts, he had gone to comfort her. She had fixed watery, innocent green eyes on him and something in his heart stirred.
"What's wrong?" he asked and she sniffled lightly, her nose red and her movements so completely feminine it was almost as if she was a caricature of herself. Something about her innocence and vulnerability struck Wade.
"It's Tim Mathers," she said between sobs. "He dumped me."
Wade watched her quietly, not knowing what to do. He awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder.
"He'll come back," he assured her, aware of her reputation as the school's hottest girl even though she was only a sophomore.
"No, he won't," she exclaimed, crying. "He wanted me to have s-sex with him and I wouldn't. I'm not easy, you know. Just b-because I'm a cheerleader and I'm b- blonde doesn't mean I'll put out to the first guy that comes along."
Timothy Mathers was a senior and the captain of the football team. He was popular, rugged and handsome. It was purported that he only had to look in a girl's general direction and she fell in love with him. Wade had seen firsthand Tim's flawless perfection and here was this little sprite of a sophomore telling Wade that she had turned him down? No doubt that had rubbed the egotistical and puffed up Timothy the wrong way. Wade hid a grin.
"Well, if he's not willing to wait until you're ready then you're better off without him," Wade assured her and she stopped crying and looked up at him questioningly.
"You don't think it's bad that I don't want to have sex?" she asked.
"No, I don't either," Wade said, lying through his teeth. Every night he wacked off thinking about a certain pair of intense blue eyes and a lean, tall frame, but he was talking about girls.
"I thought all guys wanted to have sex," she asked, forgetting her hurt in the face of this new discovery.
"Nah," he said lightly. "I want to wait until I get married."
"Are you serious?" she asked, brightening. "I do, too."
"There's nothing wrong with that," Wade said. At least, she was feeling better and that was his goal. What did it matter if he wasn't being exactly honest with her? He wasn't being exactly honest with anyone these days.
"You're so cool," she said warmly and smiled at him. A few months later, they were a couple. Wade had taken a lot of slack from Timothy and his group of super popular seniors when everybody at school found out, but he felt comfortable with Tiffany. She liked him. She laughed at all of his jokes, could spend hours sitting in front of the tv watching old episodes of Taxi with him and she always made him feel great. To Wade, it was nearly perfect. He took her to the movies and to the school dances. They held hands and kissed. They hung out with her friends and his friends and no one suspected a thing.
"Are you coming to the bonfire at Reggie's tonight?" Tiffany asked, bringing him out of his reverie. Wade nodded.
"Do you want me to pick you up?" he asked, giving her hand a little squeeze and she shook her head.
"I'm gonna ride with Kara," she said. "She's all spazzed out about Eric and I told her we'd eat ice cream and listen to Sade after school."
Wade laughed. Tiffany and the cheerleaders she was friends with were always a source of confusion and amusement for him. Girls did the weirdest things.
"Okay," he said. "I'll meet you there."
Christian stacked another piece of wood on his cousin Reggie's back porch and groaned. "You're lucky I even did this for you, man," he said to Reggie's massive back.
"You're the best cuz I've ever had," Reggie exclaimed.
Christian grinned. "I'm the only cousin you've got," he pointed out and Reggie laughed.
"Exactly."
Reggie and Christian didn't move in exactly the same circles. Reggie played football and was wildly popular and Christian was much lower key. They were setting some things up for this bonfire Reggie had planned for that night. Christian had been grudgingly invited by Reggie, but didn't plan to attend.
"Where's the cute black chick?" Reggie asked, sitting down on a step.
Christian peered at his cousin's thick neck and frowned. "What do you want with Lakiesha?" Christian asked.
Reggie shrugged. "She livens up the place," he said. "You act like she's your girl or something."
"Whatever," Christian said and looked away. Reggie turned around and looked at him.
"Is she?" Reggie asked and Christian watched as Reggie's expression became serious.
"No, she's just a friend," Christian said slowly. Couldn't Reggie see that he was gay? Everyone at school seemed to think so. Maybe he had been knocked down on the football field too many times.
"Does she like white guys?" Reggie asked and Christian's mouth fell open.
"Are you serious?" Christian asked and Reggie shrugged again. "Every since that faggot Mannie of hers is out of the picture I thought I might have a chance," Reggie said.
Christian winced at his choice of words, but chose to ignore his insensitivity and focus instead on what he was revealing. "How long have you had a crush on her?" Christian asked.
"Shit, since freshman year," Reggie said. "She was in my PE class and she was better than some of the guys. She could play basketball, softball, tennis, you name it. I've had a crush on her ever since, but she barely even knows I exist except that I'm your cousin and I've been kind of scared of what everybody would think about the whole interracial thing.
"But I saw her with Mannie and it felt terrible. I practically killed someone when I heard he went to the Marines. I was so fucking happy to see the back of that guy. He's not even worth her spit. He's gone and I got to thinking about how long I've wanted her and it's senior year now. I'm kinda running out of time. So, I want to make a move. That's why I planned this bonfire. I figured if you were here, she'd be here, too."
"She'd come if I asked her," Christian admitted and Reggie groaned.
"You mean, you haven't asked her?" Reggie asked, wide-eyed.
"No, I didn't plan on coming," Christian defended himself. "I figured you just asked me because I'm your cousin."
"No, I asked you because I wanted you to bring Lakiesha," Reggie protested. "She's like sewn into your side or something."
"She's my best friend," Christian said. "I was gonna pick her up after I helped you and we were going to go to movie or something."
"No," Reggie said firmly. "Christian if there is any common blood running through our veins, please do me this favor. Forget the movie, come to the bonfire."
Christian sighed heavily. A night full of obnoxious jocks and bouncing cheerleaders? "None of your friends like me," Christian protested and Reggie got this pleading look on his face.
"I've never asked you for anything as important as this," Reggie said quietly and Christian gave in. He had never seen Reggie express so much emotion before. For awhile he had doubted Reggie's ability to speak in anything more than grunts or one- liners and here Reggie had practically given him a soliloquy extolling the virtues of the nubile and Nubian Lakiesha. This would come as a surprise to her. Christian thought about Mannie. Lakiesha needed the distraction.
The first thing Wade noticed about Reggie's bonfire was that Christian was there. Pressed up against a porch rail with a cup of beer in his hand and an uncomfortable look on his face, Christian looked completely out of place. Wade couldn't believe that he was there. It was completely not his scene. Still, Wade knew that he and Reggie were related, cousins or something. So, it wasn't absolutely incredible that Christian was there. Reggie didn't throw many parties and Wade hadn't known what to expect. Wade turned away from the sight of Christian and willed his heart to calm down.
Just because the guy was at the same party didn't mean that they would have to talk to each other.
"Yo, Harrison," a low voice called and Wade turned back around to see Jon, Shannon, Tiffany and Kara coming towards him. He had been so completely focused on Christian that he hadn't even noticed his friends rounding the corner. He plastered on a grin and reached out a hand for Tiffany. She took it willingly and grafted herself to his side, which was just what he wanted. He felt that having her there beside him was almost like a protection from Christian.
He looked up and saw the piercing blue eyes on Tiffany and felt a shock go through him. All those years ago when he had told Christian to leave him alone, Christian had done exactly that. There had been plenty of times when he had wanted to take the words back or wished that Christian had been stubborn and not blindly obedient. Perhaps even more than the vivid attraction that he felt for the boy, he missed their friendship.
With Christian, he had felt like he could say or be anything. He had never felt so completely accepted or understood before or since. He had never even forgotten Christian's phone number and had sat beside the phone plenty of nights wondering if he dialed what would happen. But those were thoughts that he couldn't allow himself. He had things set the way they were going to be. Tiffany was by his side and his father loved her. There was no turning back.
"Thanks for coming guys," Reggie came away from the barbecue grill and patted Jon on the back.
"Thanks for the invite," Jon grinned and pulled Reggie down into a headlock. Reggie squirmed for a minute and then picked the thinner up in his arms and swung him around until Jon released him. "Don't forget what a runt you are," Reggie laughed, setting Jon back on the ground. Jon was hardly a runt, but compared to Reggie's massive form, it could be debated.
"Yeah, yeah," Jon laughed and put an arm around Shannon, who was laughing at him as he reeled a little dizzily.
"There's beer in the keg and burgers and hotdogs on the grill," Reggie said and then he looked over in Christian's direction. Christian motioned to him and Reggie started walking towards him. "Have fun," he called over his shoulder.
Wade pretended total and undivided interest in Tiffany.
"Why do I have to talk to him?" Lakiesha grumbled under her breath as Reggie walked towards them. "I've seen him a million times at school and he never says a word to me."
"Maybe he's shy," Christian suggested.
"Yeah, right," she returned, watching the huge, dark-haired guy make his way towards them. She missed Mannie and she would rather have gone to the movies with Christian so that she could complain about that.
"Hey," Reggie said when he was standing in front of them and he seemed a little out of breath. He kept his eyes on Christian the longest and Lakiesha figured that he just didn't like black people all that much. She folded her arms and shifted from one foot to the other.
"Reggie, you know Lakiesha, right?" Christian said not at all in his natural way, but in a scripted, contrived way. Lakiesha watched as Reggie's eyes met hers and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. They were so intense that she almost thought she was seeing things.
"Hi, Lakiesha," he said quietly and he held out his hand for her to shake. She had no idea he was staking claim and she shook his hand slowly. When he had it in his, he didn't let her go, but pulled her a little bit nearer.
"Hey," she said a little inadequately, feeling completely bare naked in front of Reggie's persistent eyes. They stood there for a few moments, feeling awkward. As Christian watched the two of them, he knew that there was something right about the whole situation. He decided that he should give them some privacy and lifted his cup at them before sliding down the porch rail and away from them.
He really had no where to go. He wasn't about to put himself through the torture of trying to fit in with any of the drinking jocks there and he wasn't exactly the cheerleader type. Still, he couldn't leave Lakiesha until he knew that she one hundred percent wanted to be left. He headed off through the backyard and into the woods around Reggie's place. He walked for a little while, away from the laughter and the music and sat down on a rock. It was peaceful, almost like his own sanctuary and he actually began to feel comfortable. Wade watched as Christian disappeared into the woods behind Reggie's house. He was torn between relief that Christian wasn't within his sight anymore and the desire to go into the woods after him. He knew that was out of the question.
"Ohmygawd," Kara let out a one-word mumble and hid her face in Tiffany's shoulder.
"What?" Tiffany exclaimed, looking around.
"Eddie," Kara whimpered and Tiffany gasped. Wade rolled his eyes, unwilling to embark on another journey of the ongoing saga of Kara And Eddie's crazy relationship. He looked at Jon who was joking around with Shannon, tickling her belly button and making her laugh. For a moment, Wade felt completely out of place, even among his best friends. Eddie made his way towards the group and even Wade could admit that the guy was cute. Maybe that was why Kara put up with so much of his crap.
"I wanna talk to you," he said to Kara, loud enough for the entire group to hear.
"I don't want to talk to you," Kara said, practically screaming already. Tiffany looked like a mother hen, ready to fight and protect her nest. Jon and Shannon were in their own worlds. Wade edged towards the woods, almost unconsciously. He would have liked to say that he didn't know what he was doing, but inwardly, he did.
Christian was nowhere to be found as he first entered the woods. He thought about how much Christian liked to hide. Their youthful games had always centered around that theme. Still, Christian had never been able to hide from Wade. For a moment, Wade was a sixth grader again. It had been soon after his eleventh birthday. He had endured a day of merciless ribbing and teasing from the guys, Christian included because he was the last to turn eleven. At the moment, he and a boy named Alan were the pursuers in a cut throat game of hide and seek. Christian had taken almost an hour before into the woods. One by one, Wade and Alan had hunted down each one of the hiding boys, but for more than twenty minutes, they had all been searching for Christian, the promise of finding him lingering on Wade's breath like sweet candy.
He had crept through the woods, slowly, stealthily behind all of the other boys. As they passed a huge oak tree, peering in every corner and every crevice, Wade stopped. The boys went on unaware of the sensation Wade felt in the pit of his stomach. He looked and gray eyes collided with a crazy blue ones. Wade felt his heart begin to pound heavily. He felt his palms start to sweat. He stared for a few moments, then Christian grinned, arms wrapped around his branch.
Wade let out a triumphant yell. In the present, Wade simply walked around a small corner and spotted Christian there on a rock. As he walked, his foot snapped a twig.
Christian looked up and his eyes caught and held Wade's. Wade read accurately the swift and complete panic that swept across Christian's face. Christian was the first to look away. Brave now, Wade completed the journey he had come on and sat down on the rock, close to Christian, his arm brushing the thinner boy's. Christian wouldn't look at him, his throat was working convulsively.
"Don't you want to know what I want?" he broke the silence.
Christian still wouldn't look at him.
"No," Christian said in a soft, hoarse voice and Wade leaned back, finally feeling as if he was somewhere he belonged.
"Do you want me to leave?" Wade asked slowly and Christian just sat there, blinking.
"What do you want?" Christian gave in, after an interminable silence. Now that Christian was asking, Wade didn't know what to say. What did he want? If the truth could be told, he would say that he wanted to put his arms around Christian, run his fingers through his hair, kiss him, stare into those blue eyes that had been haunting him and just be. But he couldn't say that.
"I want to make up," Wade said, his voice so low that Christian almost couldn't hear him. Christian laughed, but there was little humor in it.
"That was five years ago," Christian shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "It's no big deal, water under the bridge and all that." It was nothing of the sort. Christian thought for a moment that he could recall with exact precision each and every time Wade had looked through him as if he did not exist. The sting of it cut like a razor blade, an electric shock.
"I'm sorry," Wade whispered and his voice was shaking. Christian looked away, pretending that he was interested in something, the moss or the trees. He didn't want to start bawling. He didn't want Wade to know how much he was hurt.
"Don't worry about it," he managed in a voice that was only vaguely off kilter. He stared down at his lap again. He wasn't prepared for the actuality, the presence of Wade. It made him remember everything. The days he had spent in the woods, way up in his tree, trying to come to terms with the loss of his best friend. The bus rides to and from school with Wade and his friends laughing and a translucent Christian only a few feet away. Wade and Jon becoming friends. Tiffany Taylor.
"You've got lots of cool friends now anyway," Christian said. Wade stared at him.
"Yeah," Wade said, but his voice was hoarse and the wind carried the words away. Christian counted his heart beats wondering how much longer Wade was going to sit there. "I want to be friends again, Chris."
Christian felt the acceleration in his heart, the blood rushing through his veins. Sweat broke out on his upper lip. He nodded slowly. Friends, he told himself. This time he wasn't going to mess things up. He wasn't going to forget for a second this time that what was going on between them was friendship and nothing more.
"That sounds cool," Christian said lightly, downplaying the moment. He could think it over and shed tears at home when he was alone. This time, he wasn't going to show any emotion.
"M-maybe we can hang out sometime?" Wade suggested, relaxing now that Christian wasn't pushing him away and Christian nodded. "We could study or something."
"Yeah," Christian agreed.
"You still good at math?" Wade asked and Christian laughed.
"Kinda," he admitted. "I'm in Honors Calculus."
"Well, hell, you can help me with Pre-Calc," Wade said and pressed a shoulder against Christian's. Christian nearly jumped out of his skin. He was off of the rock and a few feet away from him before Wade could blink.
"Yeah, I could help you with Pre-Calc sometime," Christian said, quickly, running his hand over the bark of a tree, pretending like nothing was out of the ordinary. Wade watched him, taking in the flatness of his waist in the baggy jeans and the breadth of his shoulders in his blue sweater.
"I could come over tomorrow," Wade said slowly, a slow drum of desire welling inside of him, compelling the words.
"Um, I gotta go to church with my mom," Christian said slowly. "It's like the one thing we do together all week."
"Oh," Wade said, disappointed and having a hard time not showing it. Christian was nothing like Tiffany, who was ready to go whenever he called.
"But, you could probably come over some other time," Christian said. "I do Calc homework almost every night. Maybe when you get out of football practice one day or something?"
"Yeah," Wade said, pleased again. Christian looked back towards the party, hoping that Wade would leave soon. He wanted to digest what had happened. He wanted to reason it all out in his mind and make it rational.
"So, I'll see you later, I guess," Wade said lightly and he stood up.
Christian unconsciously pressed himself closer to the tree. "Yeah," he said awkwardly and Wade brushed past him and out of sight. Christian could barely catch his breath and he watched the smooth, athletic figure disappear from his sight.
That's it for this chapter. Wanna read more? Please let me know and I will continue to post! virtualinsanity78@yahoo.com