This story is intended for adult audiences 18+.
Another chapter, hope you enjoy & e-mail me! http://virtualinsanity.jeanessa.com
Part Thirteen
Christian peered out at the brick exterior of Wade's house anxiously. He put his hands on his steering wheel. He looked over at Wade who was sitting quietly beside him in the passenger seat.
"Wade, we can come back tomorrow if you want to," Chris told Wade lightly, trying to sound as calm and uncaring as he could. His insides were dancing with crazy anxiety at just the thought of leaving the safe interior of his car to go and talk to Wade's parents.
"I've avoided them for two days," Wade reminded Christian. "Besides, I haven't had a real change of clothes in that long either and your shirts are too tight, they cut off my blood circulation."
"But you look good in 'em," Christian tried a wolfish smile and Wade grinned back at him, looking very toned in the tight blue t-shirt Christian had lent him that morning.
"Stop fucking stalling, man," Wade said with a grin. "Either we do this or I do this. But it's got to happen right now...you're the one who wanted to be in the open about our relationship, remember?"
"Yeah," Christian said.
"You're not doubting anything now, are you?" Wade asked and when Christian looked over at him, he could see the fear in Wade's eyes.
"If you're afraid, we don't have to do anything," Christian told him.
"I'm not afraid of them," Wade said. "The only thing I could possibly be scared of is losing you."
Christian smiled at him. "You don't even have to worry about that," he reassured him. "I'm scared of what will happen when we go in there, but I couldn't doubt anything about my feelings about you. I love you."
"Good," Wade said with a cocky grin. "Because I'm crazy about you. Now, let's get this over with. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can finally visit Jon."
Jon had shot himself almost three days before and the hospital staff had been unwilling to allow anyone but immediate family members into his room after it became evident that he was not going to die.
The first day had been touch and go, but Jon had progressed drastically after the intial surgery. He could speak and he recognized his family. Wade was going to be the first non-family member allowed in to see him and he had been warned about the massive injuries that Jon had faced.
"But I'm starting to realize just what my telling you that I wanted to be out in the open means," Christian admitted. "I only thought about the good parts, about the honesty. You were right when you said that I didn't think about what coming out would mean for you. I don't want you to do this because of what I want."
"Sssh," Wade told him and leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. "Don't even start analyzing things to death the way you do. I am doing this because I want to. Yes, you pushed me, but this is what I've wanted more than anything since I was ten. I never felt as good as I did when I stood in that room and told everyone, my mom, dad and God, too, that I love you, that we belong to each other. There's no going back to the way things were before. I don't want to go back there."
"So, let's go in," Christian said, putting on a brave face and they were out of the car. Wade used his key in the door and they stepped inside. The house was silent except for the quiet hum of an overhead ceiling fan in the foyer.
"Mom, Dad," Wade called out. He had given them the courtesy of a phone call the first night at Christian's place and again the night before to let them know that he would be coming home the next afternoon. He knew they would be waiting for him.
"In the living room," his father's voice called and Wade led the way into the living room. Seated on the sofa was his mom and a man he had never seen before. His father was standing near the front window, where he had obviously been watching their approach.
"Hey," Wade said inadequately.
"We didn't know you were bringing him," his father said from the window and his eyes were on Christian, angry eyes.
"We're on our way to the hospital to see Jon," Wade announced. Silence.
His father made his way into the center of the room, quietly taking charge of the conversation.
"That's fine," he said. "Your mother and I want you to meet Dr. Schaefer, Wade. We want you to talk to him."
Wade closed his eyes for a moment. His heart began to pound fiercely.
"Talk to him about what?" he asked when he had control of his emotions.
"This is a family matter, Wade, and we think it would be best if your...your guest left," the man named Dr. Schaefer stood, then. Wade laughed.
"Since when did you join the family, Dr. Schaefer?" Wade asked. The good doctor's face flashed red, then white.
"Anything that needs to be said can be said in front of Christian," Wade said, standing firmly beside Christian.
"Your parents are concerned about your association with this young man," Dr. Schaefer tried again. "Under his influence, you've chosen a deviant route that we know you will regret."
"Under his influence?" Wade scoffed. "I did all the coaxing if you want to know the details. Tell me what my father's told you, Dr. Schaefer, I'm sure he's left out most of the details. Is my being gay supposed to be some sudden phase brought on by stress, maybe even the events leading up to my best friend's suicide attempt? Did my dad tell you that I came to him when I was ten years old about my feelings? Mom, did Dad tell you that I came to him? That I told him about how I felt about other boys, about Christian? Did he tell you that he told me it was just a phase and that I'd get over it?"
Wade's mother stood up, her hand going to her chest and her eyes wide and shocked.
"He didn't tell you that his answer was to threaten to throw me out of the family, did he?" Wade asked and turned to look at his father. "Well, dad, the phase has lasted for seven years and it's still going strong...stronger than ever, actually. And what do you plan to do about it, throw me in some mental ward for the criminally gay? That would only serve two purposes. To make me hate you and to make sure that you have no place in my life ever. I'm sorry if you don't want a son who's gay because you've got one."
"What about Tiffany?" his mother asked and Wae shook his head.
"She was what you guys wanted, not me," Wade told her. "I chose her because of her religious background. I knew I wouldn't have to be pressured about sex with her and she fit exactly what you guys wanted for me. So, I made it work."
"Why can't you keep doing that?" his father asked. "Why can't you keep making it work?"
"Because it was all a lie," Wade protested. "And it never really worked even though I pretended that it did. I love Christian...and I was tired of denying that, but even more than that, I love myself enough to want what makes me happy. I should be able to be who I am and be happy."
"You don't know what you're saying," his father nearly screamed. "You don't know what kind of life you're signing on for."
"This is me, dad, this is who I am," Wade pressed on, tearing up. "What do you want me to do? Be your fucking robot? I'm the one who has to look at myself in the mirror and know that everything I'm doing is a lie. I'm the one who has to pretend to be in love with a girl when I feel nothing. I'm the one who has to lie in bed at night, knowing that what I really want is right around the corner, but telling myself not to reach for it. You always told me that if I wanted something, I had to grab it. That's what I'm doing dad. I'm grabbing sanity. I'm grabbing peace of mind. I'm grabbing love. Because that's what I want...and nothing you can say or do, no fancy doctor or hospital can ever change that."
"You're seventeen years old," his father said, his voice pure steel. "You are still my son and I have a say in what I will allow to go on under my roof."
"In three months I'll turn eighteen, dad, and you know what happens then," Wade told him. "You can't touch me and you can't touch my money. If you want me to live on the streets until then, fine."
"No," his mother stepped in. "No way. I won't let it go this far. He's my son and I would never have him out on the streets, I don't care what your pride says, I won't do it. I won't."
His father looked around at his wife, then back at his son.
"Fine," his father said quietly. "Three months. Then, I want you out."
The first sight of Jon nearly brought Wade to his knees. Jon was unrecognizable. His face was swollen and bruised, even though he was heavily bandaged. It had only been three days, but Wade could already see that Jon had lost a lot of weight.
Wade made his way shakily to the hospital bed. He peered down at his best friend quietly, his eyes flooded with tears.
"Jon," Wade said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
Jon looked back up at him and Wade recognized those gray eyes easily. He forced himself to smile. Jon blinked up at him a few times.
"Sorry...fucked up," Jon said in a voice that was so thin and weak, Wade immediately shushed him.
"Jon, I'm so glad you're alive, man," Wade told him. "I'm so, so glad, buddy."
Jon was shaking and Wade reached down gingerly to touch him.
"I'm scared," Jon said, tears seeping out of his eyes.
"Don't try to talk, man," Wade whispered, kneeling beside the bed.
"Gotta tell you," Jon said, his hand grasping Wade's suprisingly firmly. "I ...so scared. No Shannon. Hospital bills for my dad...and...I can't think, shot out part... brain won't work...black sometimes. Just all black."
"Ssshh, be quiet, Jon," Wade told him. "I'll help you out. I'll take care of you, man. No matter what. You're my best friend. I'll take care of you."
"Chris?" Jon asked and Wade's eyes filled with tears. Jon was lying on a hospital bed, half the man he used to be and he was still thinking of Wade's feelings.
"No worries," Wade told him. "I'm officially gay. Out in the open."
Jon nodded and was silent, still grasping Wade's hand, but he had calmed tremendously and Wade could feel his pulse, strong and calm now.
"I've got a plan," Wade said quietly. "We'll stay here. My trust is all mine in three months. I'm going to buy a big house. You can live there with me and Chris, if you think you can put up with us. It might be you and me for awhile, just until graduation because I want Chris's mom to approve. I'll hire a nurse or therapist or whatever to get you back to normal. Then, you finish high school, maybe night school? And then you can start at State with us.
"You'll have to figure out what you want to study. I'm still political science. Somebody has to fight for gays, right? Christian is definitely going to do photography, wait until you see some of his photos. I could be kind of biased, but he could win a Pulitzer. Your parents won't even have to worry cuz I'll take care of everything. You just have to focus on getting better. Even if you don't want to, Jon.
"The sooner you get your strength up, the sooner we can go and look at houses..."
Wade lulled him to sleep with his talk - and quietly to life as well. Jon could see a future, dismal without Shannon, but a future anyway, and that's all Wade wanted.
I'm sure you can tell, we're winding down.....look for another post soon!