The Truth of Yesterday

By Josh Aterovis

Published on Feb 22, 2002

Gay

Well, guys...this is it. The chapter you've all been waiting for since you first met Killian in Bleeding Hearts. Let me know what you think and be sure to visit my website, it changes twice a week.

http://www.steliko.com/bleedinghearts

Write me at: Aterovis@aol.com

Chapter 5

When I got home, the first thing I noticed as I pulled into the driveway was that Micah's car was still there. Had he ever left? When I'd left he'd been heading for the bathroom and he'd told me to go ahead, he'd let himself out. If he'd been here the whole time I'd been gone, a peek at my watch told me it had been almost three hours, what did that mean? I jumped out of my car with a nervous flutter in my stomach, took the three steps up to the porch level with one leap, and let myself in.

I found Micah in the living room with Steve. They looked up when I appeared in the door and smiled. Good, at least they didn't seem surprised or uncomfortable to find me standing there, like I imagined they would have if they'd been talking about me.

"We were just talking about you," Steve said.

Oh. "Is that good or bad?" I asked carefully.

"Mostly good," Micah said with a grin and a wink.

I went the rest of the way into the room and Micah patted a spot next to him on the sofa. I settled into the spot and looked from him to Steve.

"Were you here the whole time?" I asked Micah.

"Yeah," he said. "I stuck my head in to say bye to Steve and we just got talking; you know what they say about time flying when you're having fun."

"So, what all did you talk about?"

"You want him to recap three hours of conversation?" Steve asked in a teasing voice.

I shrugged. I had a feeling everything wasn't be said.

"Well, the readers digest version is that I've decided to go with you to DC," Micah said.

I felt my eyes light up. "Really?"

"Really."

"Oh my gosh! That's great! Oh, thank you so much! I'd better go call Novak! And then I need to pack."

"Whoa, slow down," Micah laughed. "When are we leaving? I still need to make arrangements with work and all."

"Is tomorrow too soon?" I asked, hoping beyond hope that it wasn't.

"I think I can swing it," Micah said. "What time?"

"Late morning would be ok."

"Go call Novak then," he said and I practically flew from the room.

I found out from Novak that he'd had such faith in my abilities to convince Micah to go along that he'd already booked us adjoining rooms in the same hotel as Mr. Knox. Micah and I firmed up our plans and he left to go home and get ready as I headed upstairs to pack. I was extremely excited. Not only was I getting ready to follow my first case on my own into the city, but this would also be Micah and my first weekend away together. I had a feeling it would be a weekend to remember.


"Wow," I said as we stepped into the lobby of the hotel where Novak had secured reservations in my name. It was times like this when I realized that, at heart, I was little more than a country bumpkin. I'd never been in a hotel like this. The floors were highly polished white marble. Huge, white columns rose from the floor to meet a high vaulted ceiling from which enormous crystal chandeliers were suspended. The lower part of the walls were paneled with a rich, dark wood that I thought might be mahogany and the upper parts were hung with expensive looking art that I was willing to bet was the real deal. The furniture arranged around the lobby on thick oriental rugs all looked to be authentic antiques, or if not, then high quality reproductions.

"One things for sure," Micah said looking around, "This guy you're following has expensive tastes."

"At least he doesn't mind spending the company money," I pointed out. I hefted my suitcase and started across the expanse of marble towards the desk.

"Hello," I said to the young woman behind the desk. "I believe two rooms are reserved under the name Kendall."

She flashed me a smile and typed on her computer for a minute, then looked up. "Killian Kendall?" she asked. I nodded. She looked at the screen again and then back to me. "Did you say two rooms?"

"I thought so," I said a little uncertainly. I thought that's what Novak had told me, but I wasn't positive.

"We only have you down for one room, sir," she said.

"Oh...I..." That was unexpected. "Is there an adjoining room available?" I asked, hating the desperate tone that had creeped into my voice. I was glad Micah was wondering around looking at the artwork and not paying attention to my check-in process.

She hit a few more keys on her keyboard and shook her head. "I'm sorry. There's a large conference going on here in our conference hall and all our rooms are pretty much booked up. I hope it won't be a problem."

I took a deep breath. I wanted to argue but at the same time, I didn't want to make a scene. More than anything, I wanted to get out of the lobby before Mr. Knox wandered in. Traffic had been heavier than we'd anticipated on the Beltway and we were running later than I had planned.

Briefly, I wondered if the conference might not be why Knox was staying here in the first place. If so, that would make my job easier. He'd be less likely to leave the hotel all that much. My mind shifted back to the situation at hand and I felt my stomach clench. "No, it won't be a problem," I said through gritted teeth.

She smiled apologetically and clicked away on her keyboard. A few seconds later, a form came rolling out of the printer. "Just sign right here and I'll get your key for you," she said.

I signed the papers and she handed over the keycard and my receipt. It was all being billed to Novak's company credit card and would in turn be billed to Mrs. Knox. If she was wrong about her husband's philandering, she would be looking a large bill for nothing. Then again, maybe it would be worth the peace of mind.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience," the woman behind the counter said again, her attention already turning to the wealthy looking couple that was walking up behind me. Somehow, I doubted her sincerity.

I grabbed my suitcase and went to get Micah. When he saw my expression he frowned, but I shook my head.

"What's wrong?" he asked as soon as the elevator doors had slid shut.

"We're sharing a room," I told him. I was so tense now that I wasn't even noticing my lavish surroundings.

Micah looked at me silently for a second. "That's not the end of the world, you know," he said lightly.

"I just...I wasn't ready for that."

"Ready? What do you mean ready?"

"I just mean I wasn't prepared. I thought we had two rooms..." My voice trailed off.

"Killian, I'm not going to jump you as soon as the door closes. Give me a little credit here. I think I can control myself that much."

I blushed but didn't say anything.

"Maybe there're two beds," he said.

There weren't.

"It's not that bad," he tried. I looked dubiously at the lone double bed in the center of the small but beautiful room. "Look, if it would make you feel better I'll get another room."

"They're all booked up," I said stiffly. I was still standing just inside the doorway clutching my suitcase in front of me like a shield.

"Then what do you want? You want me to go find another hotel? I can't go home, we drove up here together."

"I don't know what I want," I said.

"Do you ever?" His question, and its unspoken implications, stung like a slap in the face. "I didn't mean that," he said quickly, "It's just, you're the one that wanted me along so badly."

I sighed. "I do want you along. I'm sorry; I'm being a jerk. It just caught me by surprise."

"Maybe we can get a roll-away bed."

"And put it where? No, we don't need a roll-away bed. I'm being stupid. We can share the bed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I promise I'll stay on my side," he said with a teasing leer. "Unless you invite me over to your side, anyway." He waggled his eyebrows at me and I managed a weak smile in return, but it was enough. The worst of the tension was gone, although my stomach was still knotted up in a tight little ball.

"I'd better get back down to the lobby so I can keep an eye out for Mr. Knox," I said. Micah and I had already discussed how this would work. We both knew that this was a business trip, at least for me, and that meant I had to do my job. I was going to watch for Knox to check in and keep an eye on him after that. If he started to leave the hotel, then Micah stepped in as my guide. It wasn't a perfect plan, if Micah took too long to reach the lobby when I called up for him we could lose Knox, but it was the best we could come up with since we were afraid two of us lurking around the lobby would be more suspicious than just me.

I grabbed a book out of my suitcase and rode the elevator back down the ground floor. After ascertaining that Knox hadn't checked in yet, much to my relief, I picked a chair in the lobby that afforded me a clear view of the main door and the front desk while keeping me mostly out of sight behind a large potted plant. I settled in and pretended to read. It was about an hour before Knox entered, towing a luggage cart laden with two small bags behind him. He made directly for the desk. His check-in apparently went much smoother than mine did, because he had the keycard and was heading for the elevators in no time. I made myself wait where I was until the door closed behind him, then went over and pretended to push the up button. While I "waited" for the elevator to arrive, I watched to see which floor Knox's elevator stopped on, the floor above Micah and me as it turned out. As soon as I knew where to go, I pushed the button for real. Almost immediately, the other door opened and I stepped into it. I hit the button for the floor Knox has stopped on and rode up. The elevator moved agonizingly slowly. I was almost frantic by the time the doors opened just in time to see him carrying his second bag into his room. I hesitated for a second, but he never even looked up; he simply shut the door leaving the cart in the hall for the hotel staff to retrieve. I made note of his room number and then cased the hallway looking for a place where I could unobtrusively keep an eye on his room.

I was in luck. About halfway down the hallway, in the opposite direction from the elevators, was a small alcove with two chairs, a small table, and a lamp. It wasn't ideal, but it would do. Chances were fairly good that if Knox came out of his room, he'd head for the elevators and not towards me. As long as none of the other folks on the floor noticed my hanging around and reported me to security, I'd be ok. I settled into one of the chairs and checked my watch. It was a little after four.

Stakeouts have to be one of the most boring things I have ever done. They are definitely the worst part about being a private detective. You can literally spend hour upon hour doing nothing but staring at a door. I had a book with me, one of Mercedes Lackey's most recent, but there was always the danger with me that I'd get so into the story that I'd miss the moment when Knox finally made his move. As a result, I could only give the book half my attention, which was very unsatisfying for someone who likes to read as much as I do.

It was just before six when the door to Knox's room swung open and he stepped out. He'd changed out of his traveling clothes and into a business-like suit. He pulled the door shut and strode off down the hall towards the elevators without so much as a glance in my direction. I remained where I was until the elevator doors closed. I watched the numbers above the door light up in descending order until they settled on the Lobby Floor. I knew I didn't have time to wait for the elevator so I ran for the stairs. The last thing I wanted to do was lose him this early. I took them two at a time and was panting by the time I reached the bottom. Time to hit the gym, I thought ruefully as my chest heaved. I was way out of shape.

I took a deep, calming breath and hoped I had composed myself somewhat as I entered the lobby. I scanned the room as casually as I could and felt my stomach drop. Oh, shit! Knox was nowhere in sight. I crossed the room as quickly as I could without running and stepped outside. I looked both ways; still no sign of him. Shit, shit, shit!

Then I remembered the conference. Maybe he was here for the conference being held in the building itself. Didn't weekend conferences often start on Friday evening?

I quickly let myself back into the hotel and caught a bellboy by the sleeve.

"Excuse me. Can you tell me where the conference rooms are?" I asked the boy. He looked like he was probably around my age but had the misfortune to bear a more than slight simian resemblance. With his uniform, he looked rather like an organ grinder's monkey. I half expected him to jump up and down and point while demanding a quarter. Instead, he gave me a polite smile and gave me directions to the conference hall.

I thanked him and moved off down the hall he'd indicated at a swift clip, not quite a jog but not far from it. I rounded the last corner and came to screeching halt. To my vast relief, Knox was standing not too far from me talking to another man in a business suit. Thankfully, his back was to me and I was able to quickly take in the hallway before slipping back around the corner.

It was going to be harder to keep an eye on him here. There was no convenient alcove set up and people would be coming and going. I didn't want to be too obvious by loitering in the halls. Speaking of being obvious, I realized that I probably looked fairly shifty standing at the edge of the corner with my back pressed against the wall. I forced my body into a more casual stance, as if I were waiting there for someone to come along. What was I going to do about Knox? I looked down the hall behind me; there was no one in sight so I risked a peek around the corner. I watched while Knox and the man he was talking to seemed to finish up their conversation and they both moved towards one of the conference hall doors.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked from behind me causing me to leap at least a foot into the air. I spun around in midair to find someone from the hotel staff looking at me the way one might look at a pile of offending doggie doo that had somehow managed to situate itself under your foot. The man facing me was a little above average height with stiffly gelled dark hair and somewhat beady eyes that glared down his long, thin nose at me.

"Um, yes," I said while I thought furiously, "Is this the, uh, place where the, er, conference is being held?" Weak, but it would have to do.

The man arched an eyebrow. "Yes, indeed it is. Are you a participant in the conference?"

"Oh, um, yes. I'm staying here too," I added just to be safe. I provided our room number which did seem to make a little impression. I could almost read his mind; at least I hadn't crept in from the streets.

"Could I be of assistance to you; show you to the correct conference room, perhaps?" He paused meaningfully and then sprung his trap. "Which conference are you here for?"

Crap! There was more than one? Or was it a trick question? I hadn't even thought to check to see what conference Knox was attending. Had Sharla told me? No, I didn't think so.

"The, uh, one for salesmen," I said lamely.

"Ah, yes, that one," he said. He seemed a little disappointed that I'd come up with an acceptable, if not particularly intelligent, answer. Being thought dim was preferable to being thrown out peremptorily on my rear, however. "It's right this way, follow me."

He walked briskly past me and around the corner. I couldn't very well refuse to follow him, not if I wanted to get out of this with attracting little attention as possible, so I stepped around the corner as well. Knox was nowhere in sight. I decided to risk a question.

"Are there other conferences going on this weekend?"

My guide gave me an irritated look. "No, this is the only one."

So it had been a trick question. I could tell he didn't appreciate having to admit that, but at least now I knew where Knox was. I was ushered through one of the doors and was immediately grateful that it was dim inside, most of the lighting being focused on a man at the front of the room on a raised dais. It was evident that the first meeting had already begun.

"If you haven't registered yet to receive your name badge, please don't forget to do so as soon as our introductory session is over," the man was saying. At least my lack of a name badge wouldn't be too obvious, I thought as I nodded my thanks to the guy who'd led me in and took a seat on the back row.

As my eyes adjusted to the dimness, I scanned the room for my quarry. I spotted his sandy blonde hair about halfway towards the front. At least I could keep an eye on him now, even if it did mean sitting through a few boring speeches.

And boring they were. By the time eight o'clock rolled around, I was struggling just to keep my eyes from slamming shut. When they stopped for a break, I slipped down in my seat while Knox walked by. I couldn't believe they were actually starting back up for yet another two hours tonight in just half an hour. I wanted to cry at the very thought.

I stood up and stretched before slipping out into the hall with the last of the stragglers. I found Knox at the registration table picking up his name badge. Registration was a casual affair at this point, most people had already signed in, and the remainder of the badges and conference kits were simply sitting on the table with the names on them. That gave me an idea. I decided a little camouflage couldn't hurt, and as soon as Knox moved away from the table, I sidled by way over and picked up one of the remaining badges and kits at random.

I moved into a corner out of the way and looked to see who I would be for the rest of the evening. Tim Jeffrey. Just what I'd always wanted; two first names. Now I just had to hope that Tim wasn't in attendance and that no one who ran into me knew Mr. Jeffrey. I clipped the tag onto my sweater and stayed out of the way until everyone filed back into the hall. Knox never left my sight.

The rest of the conference offered nothing to recommend. By the time the last speaker finished up, I was approaching a comatose state. I was startled into full alertness by the polite applause he received as he stepped off the platform. He was replaced a moment later by the man who'd been giving directions when I'd first entered.

"That's all for this evening," he said, sounding about as awake as I felt. "We'll see you all back here in the morning at eight-thirty. And don't forget the complimentary continental breakfast."

I groaned inwardly as everyone stood and began to make their way towards the doors. That meant I'd have to be up long before that so I could keep an eye on old Knox. And God only knew when I would be getting to bed tonight.

I watched Knox walk past, waited while a few more people went by, then stood, and followed. I melted into a group of men talking amongst themselves about their plans for the rest of the evening and not paying attention to much else. I waited until Knox had disappeared around the corner before separating myself from their group and trailing after him. He went directly to the elevator, which in turn went directly to his floor. With a resigned sigh, I took the stairs back up and arrived just in time to see his door closing.

I took my post again, sitting in one of the rather uncomfortable chairs in the alcove, and prepared to wait. Two hours later, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Knox was in for the night and I was definitely having trouble staying awake. I decided to risk returning to our room for the remainder of the night. I would just set the alarm clock I'd brought along early enough to be back in place in what I was beginning to think of as my own private alcove long before Knox arose in the morning. While I wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of getting up that early, and after so little sleep, but what choice did I have? It was all part of the job.

I rode the elevator down to our floor and let myself into the room as quietly as I could in case Micah was asleep. He was. Once my eyes adjusted to the near darkness, I could make him out in the dim light that was creeping in around the curtains. He was lying in the bed, arms thrown over his head, and the blankets pushed down to his waist. I saw a sliver of the band of his boxers showing and my eyes slowly followed up his chest, silvered by the light so that he looked eerily like a white marble statue, handsome and perfect. I felt my breath catch in my throat. His face was so still and peaceful, I was so struck by his beauty that I felt my throat close up and a tear roll down my cheek. I was supposed to sleep with that?

I felt a hint of panic rising in my chest and fought it down. What was I so scared of? I loved Micah, didn't I? I knew I did. And I knew he loved me. So what was my hang-up? Objectively, I knew that at least part of it was simply the fact that I was a virgin. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, or how to do it. I didn't want to look like an idiot. I wanted it to be perfect and wonderful and just the way it always was in the stories. The matter wasn't helped by the fact that I knew making love to Micah would break down the last of any walls I was managing to keep up between us. Once those walls were gone, I'd be completely vulnerable, something I hadn't thought I'd ever want to be with another person. Suddenly, as I stood there watching him sleep, I wasn't so sure anymore. Being vulnerable with Micah was suddenly starting to sound almost inviting-especially if that involved being naked with him under those sheets...

I pushed that thought quickly out of my head, or tried to anyway. You're working, I reminded myself sharply. You promised Novak that you wouldn't let yourself be distracted by having Micah along.

That was all well and good, but I felt a stirring in my groin just looking at him. I turned quickly and set the alarm clock for an ungodly hour. I slipped out of my clothes and into the sheets, ignoring my erection as best I could. Micah never stirred. Either he was in a very deep sleep or he was still mad at me from earlier. I couldn't blame him if he was. I'd acted like a royal prick.

I raised myself up onto my elbow so I could see his face clearly again. I wanted to reach out and touch his face. I wanted to feel his body next to mine, skin against skin. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to shake him awake and make love to him. I didn't do any of these things though. I just laid there and watched him sleep until my eyes refused to stay open any longer.


All too soon, I was awakened by the rude blaring of the alarm clock. For a few confused seconds I couldn't remember where I was or why my alarm was going off when it was still pitch black. Then I felt Micah stirring beside me and it all came back to me.

I fumbled with the clock, finally managing to get it turned off. I so did not want to get up. I forced myself into a sitting position with my legs dangling off the edge of the bed. I sat like that while I tried to wake up enough to think clearly.

"What time is it?" Micah asked.

"Too early," I mumbled.

I was trying to summon the energy to stand up when I felt his hand slide across my back, warm and slightly rough. I felt a shiver ripple through me. I suddenly felt very awake.

"I didn't even hear you come in last night," he said.

"I didn't want to wake you."

"I wish you had." I felt him sit up behind me and a second hand joined the first in its exploration of my back.

"I should go. I need to make sure I'm in place before Knox gets up," I said, but I didn't move. I felt paralyzed by the touch of his hands. He slid them up my sides and across my shoulders as another chill went through my body. He leaned in close to me, I could feel the heat from his chest so close to my back as his hands slid over my shoulders and down my chest.

"God, Killian, you're so beautiful," he whispered into my ear, echoing my thoughts about him from just a few hours ago.

He began to kiss my neck and it felt like fire spreading throughout my body. I heard a little whimper and realized it was me. He gently pulled against my shoulders, pulling me against his body. I melted into him, all thoughts of work completely gone now. I was lost in the moment.

I tipped my head so that I could look into his eyes. Even in the darkness, I could see the love there...and the hunger. His lips met mine and I twisted my body so that we could kiss comfortably. The kiss, starting out as a soft pressure, quickly heated up. I felt Micah maneuver himself and slowly lower me to the bed with him on top, where we continued to kiss. I felt something poking me in the side and realized it was Micah and that I was undoubtedly doing some poking of my own. Meanwhile, Micah hands were all over me, sliding up my sides, down my legs, across any skin he could reach. I'd never felt anything like it, I felt electrified. My breath was coming in gasps now.

Micah slowly pulled back and looked down on me.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too," I answered, truthfully and without hesitation.

He leaned in for another kiss, but this one ended quickly as he moved his lips down to my throat and began kissing me there. My body arched underneath him in response, and he slowly moved his lips down my chest and then to my stomach. My mind was whirling among the clouds but it was brought quickly back to earth when I felt Micah's hands slide into the band of my boxers.

"Micah," I gasped, panic in my voice, as I grabbed his wrists.

"What is it Killian?" he asked in a tortured voice. "You know I love you and I know you love me. What's wrong?"

"I...I'm scared," I whispered.

The look in his eyes softened as his hand gently stroked my cheek. "I promise I won't hurt you," he said, his voice so sincere I couldn't doubt him for a minute.

"It's not that, not anymore," I said feeling so stupid, "It's just that I...I don't know what to do."

The sweetest smile spread across his face as he leaned in and kissed me. "Don't worry about a thing, beautiful," he said as he pulled back. "I'll show you everything you need to know."

Next: Chapter 6


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