The Truth of Yesterday

Josh Aterovis is the author of Bleeding Hearts (ISBN: 1930928688) and the upcoming Reap the Whirlwind (Coming in 2003), published by Renaissance Alliance Publishing Inc. (http://www.rapbooks.biz) The Truth of Yesterday is the fourth book in the Killian Kendall series.

Visit "Black Sheep Productions" for more information. Official Site of the Killian Kendall Mystery Series http://www.steliko.com/bleedinghearts

The Truth of Yesterday

Chapter 21

I was still brooding over Jake the next day. I had even more trouble than usual paying attention in class since I couldn't keep my brain off of the subject for more than a few minutes at a time. I was especially wondering what I was going to do after I talked to his old friends. I wasn't expecting a lot from them, but it was a loose end that needed to be tied up. Beyond that though, I had no idea where to go. There was the Ball Friday night, so maybe I would just wait for that and see what happened.

When I arrived at work after my classes, I thought I saw Novak's mysterious client slip down the back stairs just as I came up the front ones.

"Was that your client?" I asked him as I came into the office. He was bending over my desk looking at several photographs, which he promptly scooped up as soon as I appeared in the door.

"Yes, it was," he answered casually.

"Why was she sneaking down the back way?"

"She wasn't sneaking anywhere. I told you, she's in a delicate position and needs to be very discreet."

"So she was sneaking."

"She wasn't...ok, yes, she was sneaking."

"What are the pictures of?"

"If that was any of your business I would have shown them to you. Don't you have a couple cases of your own to worry about?" He retreated to his office where he closed the door firmly behind him, just a little shy of slamming.

I laughed. Teasing Novak was so much fun, although I was very curious about the birdlike woman.

I turned on the computer while I sorted through today's mail. It looked like Novak had already gone through and taken his. Most of what was left went directly into the circular file. I set aside all but one large manila envelope. I deal with the rest later. The manila envelope was from Neal. He'd been true to his word. I noticed that the return address was a PO Box with no name. He was cautious as always. I opened the envelope and dumped out the enclosed documents. On top was Paul's file. Under that were the records of Paul's repeat customers. Assuming Neal had sent me all of them, there were only seven. Each one listed the dates that particular client had met with Paul and how they had paid, as well as personal information like their address if Paul had met them there and their phone number.

I decided there was no time like the present to start calling. The first four weren't home. They were probably at work, so I'd have to call back later. The next guy hung up on me as soon as I told him why I was calling. I actually got someone to talk to me on the fourth try.

"Are you Luis Rodriguez?" I asked after I got over my initial shock that someone answered their phone and remained on the line after I identified myself as a private investigator.

"Yes, I am," he said. "May I ask what this is concerning?"

"I'm calling about Paul Flynn."

There was a pause. "Paul who?"

"Flynn. He was an escort. I believe you knew him."

"Oh, Paul. I thought I knew him very well, but he never mentioned his last name," he chuckled. "It's just not something that comes up, you know? Now, other things came up...but not last names."

"When was the last time you met with Paul?"

"It's probably been a month ago. You see, I met someone and I haven't really needed..."

According to the records he had last been with Paul about a month ago, so he was telling the truth there. I wasn't really interested in the details of his personal life, though, so I cut him off. "Did you know that Paul died a few weeks ago?"

"Paul...died? No, I...I didn't know. How? Was it an accident?"

"Actually, he was murdered. In his apartment."

"Wha-what? Murdered? Oh my God."

"You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't know," he snapped. "If I knew I wouldn't have been making sick jokes and prattling on about my love life. How...how was he killed? Wait, was he the guy on the news a few weeks back? The one that they said was killed in an alleged robbery?"

"Probably."

"If he was killed in a robbery, why are you talking to me?"

"I don't believe he was killed in a robbery. I need to ask you some questions. Would you be willing to help me out? You could help me bring Paul's killer to justice." Assuming it's not you, I thought to myself.

"Yes, of course. Anything to help Paul. I may not have known his last name but he was a very special person. He always made me feel so special. He just had a way of making you feel at ease. I can't believe he's gone."

I rolled my eyes and glanced down at his record while he bemoaned his deep loss. The man didn't even know his last name and he paid him for sex. How broken up could he be?

"How long had you been seeing Paul?" I asked when he paused to take a breath. I had the information in front of me, but I wanted to see if his account would agree with the official records.

"Off and on for the last six months," he said after taking a second to shift gears. That jived.

"How many times in that six months?"

"I don't know for sure, maybe five?" The records said six, close enough.

"How did he act?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well, I want you to compare the way he acted early on and how he acted towards the end. Was he any different?"

He thought a minute. "Not that I could tell. He always made sure that I was relaxed and satisfied. I guess you could say that he was every inch a professional. Um, no pun intended."

"He never seemed scared?"

"Not that I could tell."

"Can you think of any reason someone might want to kill him?"

"No."

"Can you think of anything you feel might be important for me to know?"

"Look, I guess I really didn't know him that well. He didn't talk about himself much; he never revealed anything personal. All I can tell you is that he always made me feel good and special. That's not something I'd felt very often in my life before him. He made me feel good about myself, and let me tell you, it was a lot more fun than therapy."

"Ok, well thanks," I mumbled. "If you think of anything else, please give me a call." I gave him my cell phone number and was about to hang up when he called out.

"Wait, how did you get my number? How did you know I used to see Paul?"

I'd been anticipating that question, and since Paul was gone now it wouldn't hurt to lay the blame on him. "Paul kept a journal," I lied.

"And he mentioned me?" Luis sounded surprised and a little flattered.

"Yes," I said, and after a moment I added, "He seemed fond of you."

The line was quiet for a few seconds, and then he said simply. "Thank you," and hung up.

I hung up on my end too. There was one number left that I hadn't called yet, but I decided to wait and call later when he would be more likely to be home. That call had taken more out of me than I had expected. Somehow, I had never thought of an escort actually performing some sort of valuable service, but it was obvious it had meant a great deal to Luis. I wondered what Luis' life had been like that he had needed the validation of someone so badly. Was he been abused as a child? Told he was unattractive? Did he have a bad relationship that had left scars of the emotional kind? I almost wanted to call him back and ask, but it was really none of my business and certainly had no bearing on the case.

I looked at my watch. It was still too early to call Jake's old friends and no one would be home from work for several more hours. I had some time to kill. I checked my e-mail, but there was nothing of importance. I went through the mail I'd set aside earlier, but that didn't take long either. There was no paperwork waiting to be done, Novak wasn't letting me do touch anything having to do with his secret case. He was doing all his own paperwork, assuming there was any. Maybe he wasn't even leaving a paper trail.

I suddenly found myself bored. It was an unfamiliar feeling these days. It always seemed that I had something waiting that needed doing, either work or school related, and if not, I was doing something with Micah. I'd forgotten what free time was. I figured I had at least two hours to kill and not a single thing to do.

I knocked on Novak's door and he told me to come in. I opened it wide enough to stick my head in.

"You need anything done?" I asked.

He looked up with a surprised expression on his face. "What?"

"Do you need anything done? Any filing, paperwork, typing?"

He blinked disbelievingly. "You're asking me for work? Are you ill? Do you have a fever? Don't tell me you don't have anything to do."

"I have a couple free hours," I admitted sheepishly.

"And you want me to fill them with work? Killian, you're becoming a workaholic. Go get some fresh air. Walk through the zoo, roller blade through the park, do something outside that doesn't require you to think. For goodness sake, take a break."

"I'm not becoming a workaholic," I protested.

"Did it even occur to you to relax when you realized you didn't have anything that needed to be done?"

"That's beside the point."

"No, that's exactly the point. You're working too hard. Go enjoy yourself for a few hours. That's an order."

I snapped up straight and sketched a mock salute. "Yes, sir, Novak, sir."

He gave me a dirty look. "Get the hell out of here. Go have some fun, if you haven't forgotten how."

I gave him a dirty look back and slipped out of his doorway. "I know how to have fun," I grumbled under my breath. I grabbed my keys off the corner of my desk and ran down to my car.

I decided to go to the zoo. In the middle of town, there's a large park that runs along the Wicomico River, part of the park is a charming little zoo. It's won awards as one of the best small zoos in the country. I'd always enjoyed walking through it, but I hadn't been there at all this year. I wandered around looking at jaguars, bears, monkeys, and alligators for a while, doing my best not to think about anything work related. I was a little disturbed to realize that didn't leave me much to think about. Things were good with Micah, better than they'd ever been in fact. I was doing all I could about Amalie until she decided to show up again, and besides, I'd rather not think about that unless I had to. That was more stressful that work any way you measured it. School was just plain boring. I couldn't think of another thing to think about. Had my life been reduced to dead people, work, school, and Micah?

I need a hobby, I thought and then laughed out loud. A little girl nearby, gave me a wary look and sidled up closer to her mother. When would I find time to do a hobby?

I ended up at the playground at one end of the zoo. It was practically deserted this time of day except for a young woman watching her two children play on the slide. I made my way to the swings and sat down on one. I watched the kids play, totally immersed in their fun. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be that carefree. I was still watching them when I felt a presence behind me. Before I could turn around, I felt hands in the small of my back. I yelped as someone gave me a push. I spun around in the swing, letting go of the chains as I did, and in the process lost my balance. Strong arms caught me before I could hit the ground and I looked up into Micah face. His expression was warring between amusement and concern.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I asked accusingly.

Amusement won out and Micah laughed. "Sorry. I wanted to surprise you, not send you to the hospital."

I laughed to as I managed to get my feet under me and stood up. "You almost succeeded in doing both. How did you find me?"

"I went by the office to see you and Novak said he'd sent you out to relax and that I might find you here. I thought it was worth a shot. Sit down and I'll push you."

I sat back down obediently and he gave me a gentle push. "Why were you looking for me?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see you. Do I have to have a reason?"

I smiled. "I guess not. What's going on with your story?"

"Ugh. What's not going on? I think I opened Pandora's Box. There's hate, greed, cruelty, deception-you name it. And it looks like we've only scratched the surface."

"What do you mean?"

"It means it looks like there's a lot more to this than we first thought; that it goes far beyond just the local county commissioners."

"How far beyond?"

"We don't know that yet, but we've definitely uncovered something big."

"You know, I don't even understand what's going on with all this, really. I haven't taken the time to read everything."

"It's a lot to explain and I don't even understand it all," Micah sighed. "It all has to do with the environmental protection laws. It looks like the commissioners and other people in positions of authority were being paid off to allow building in places where there shouldn't have been any development. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I don't really feel like talking about it now, I need a break. That's why I came to see you. I don't know how much time I'm going to have for the next few days, or longer, and I wanted to see you while I actually had a little free time. I don't want to spend what little time we have talking about work."

"Fair enough," I said, thinking about what Novak had said about me being a workaholic. "Let's walk through the park."

"That sounds nice."

I hopped off the swing and we walked through the park along the river. There weren't too many people around so we pretty much had the place to ourselves. We paused on the little arch bridge over one of the branches and kissed a little.

"I'm sorry I won't be around much for a while," he said resting his forehead against mine.

"Me too," I said softly, "but there's nothing you can do about it. This is your job and it's important to you."

"Thanks for understanding."

He pressed his lips against mine again and I melted into his arms. It didn't take long before I began to get aroused. Micah noticed immediately.

"Have you ever had sex in a public place?" he asked me playfully.

"No," I giggled, "and I don't intend to start now."

"You have no sense of adventure," he teased.

"I just have no desire to get arrested. You're supposed to write the news, not make it."

He laughed. "I miss making love to you."

"It's only been a couple days."

"That's too long. I love you, Killian."

"I love you too."

We stood for a while just holding each other until a dog walker came down the path at a brisk stroll. We pulled apart but she just smiled at us as she passed us with her spaniel.

"I'd better get back to work," Micah said with a sigh.

I checked my watch. "Me too," I grimaced.

He gave me a quick kiss and we walked hand in hand back through the park and zoo to the parking lot where we had both left our cars. One final kiss and we drove off in our separate vehicles. I felt much better for my break from the grind. The fact that Micah had come looking for me certainly didn't hurt either. It made me feel as if I truly mattered to him, which is something I guess I already knew, but there's nothing like having it shown to you in such a tactile way.

When I got back to the office, Novak was gone and the door was locked. I let myself in and found a note on my desk.

"Hope you relaxed with your free time. I'll be gone for a few days. Be back Friday. Novak."

I frowned as I read over it. Why hadn't he at least mentioned that he wouldn't be here when I got back? Had he known or was it a last minute thing? Maybe he had just been trying to avoid the inevitable questions that would have arisen if he'd told me he was going somewhere. Like, where was he going? What was he doing? Did it involve his mystery case? Maybe he was just trying to get rid of me in the first place and that was why he'd suggested I go to the zoo.

I grumbled to myself and tossed the note into the trashcan. My questions would go unanswered for now, and knowing Novak, I might never get any satisfaction.

I stood for a moment trying to decide whether to tackle Craig and Danielle first or call the rest of Paul's former clients. I decided to go for the local kids. I could talk to them in person and I didn't feel like spending a lot of time on the phone. First, though, I had to call and make sure they were at home.

I called Craig first. He was home and, while a little nervous, agreeable to my dropping by right away. Danielle was equally available, so I told her I'd be by in an hour or so, after I finished with Craig.

After locking the office back up, I drove to the address Craig had given me. His house was in a nondescript middle-class neighborhood of the type where all the houses look like carbon copies of one another. The only variance was color and occasionally some wild and crazy person had added an overhang at the front door or a small front porch. The houses were all well-kept with neat lawns, but the area was strangely depressing. The only bright spots came from the pumpkins almost every house had in their front yards. A few families had gone all out with ghosts and witches everywhere and pad cotton strung on tree branches, supposedly to look like cobwebs.

I pulled into Craig's driveway and before I could even get out of the car, the front door, adorned with a jointed cardboard skeleton, was opened by a thin boy who peered out at me with an anxious expression.

I gave him what I hoped was a non-threatening smile and a little wave. "Are you Craig?" I asked as I approached the door.

He nodded. "Are you Killian?"

"Yeah, thanks for agreeing to talk to me." I stopped at the steps and wondered if I was going to have to talk to him through the screen door or if he would invite me in. While I waited for him to decide what to do about me, I studied Jake's former friend and, according to Kane at least, admirer. He was an attractive boy, about five foot ten or eleven with a slim build and a narrow waist. His flawless skin was a little too dark to be Caucasian, but I couldn't quite decide on his race. His eyes were large and dark behind his glasses, his hair slightly curly and light brown. He wore a form-fitting blue shirt and wide-legged cargo khakis. He would have been very attractive with a little more confidence. As it was, he had a way of pulling into himself as if he was afraid of the world outside.

He eyed me for a minute then seemed to decide I was safe. He pushed open the screen door and motioned for me to come in.

"We can talk in here," he said. "My parents aren't home." His voice was soft with a slight lisp on his sibilants.

He led me into the living room, which was decorated tastefully in earth tones. A family portrait hung over the couch, answering my question as to his race. His father was white and his mother was African-American. A much younger Craig sat on his mother's lap in the picture, smiling widely for the photographer.

I turned back to him and watched him fold himself into the couch, tucking his long legs under him and watching me with uncertainty. I understood what Kane had been saying about him now; there was something decidedly feminine about this boy. I took a seat in a chair facing the couch.

"I really appreciate you talking to me," I said again. He nodded an acknowledgement and I hoped I wasn't going to have to drag every word out of him. "I know you don't know me or anything..."

"Actually, I know who you are," he interrupted, catching me by surprise. "Everybody in school knows who you are. You're kind of like a legend around here."

"Me?" I squeaked in a very un-legendlike manner.

"Yeah. I mean everyone knows you caught that murderer a few years ago and killed him yourself. I wasn't even in high school yet and I heard about it. And then you were brave enough to come out and all..." He stopped abruptly and blushed.

I made a face. "Trust me, going after that killer was not the smartest thing I've ever done. That was stupidity not bravery. I almost got myself and people I cared about killed."

"But you saved Jake's life," he insisted.

"Maybe it would have never been in danger in the first place if I'd left things alone."

"But then the killer would have gotten away with it."

I was fighting a losing battle so I moved to his other point. "Well, coming out wasn't all that brave. It was just something I had to do."

"It's more than a lot of people do," he said softly, looking away.

"Maybe that's because they don't have anyone to support them like I had."

He looked up at me and gave me an odd, slightly calculating look. "What did you come to talk to me about?" he asked, shifting the subject to one a little more comfortable.

"Jake," I said simply.

He frowned. "What about Jake? I don't see him much anymore. He's too good for me now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, everything was fine and then all of a sudden he stopped calling me to do things and when I'd call him he'd make some lame excuse. And then he stopped hanging out with me and Danielle at school, started avoiding us, not coming to lunch, things like that."

"Do you know why?"

"Why he stopped hanging out with us?" I nodded. "Not really. I guess it was something I did. I don't know what, though, and believe me, I've thought about it a lot." He looked like he could start crying at any moment.

"Do you think Danielle knows?"

He shrugged. "Danielle and I weren't really friends. We were just both friends with Jake; we don't have much in common besides that. We don't talk much now that Jake ignores both of us."

I wasn't getting much from this poor kid, but I felt very sorry for him. It looked like he was victim in all this; Jake's treatment of him just served to reaffirm his lack of worth in his own eyes.

"You know I'm a private investigator now, right?" I asked. He nodded again. "I want you to keep what I'm about to tell you just between you and me, ok?" His eyes widened and he nodded once more. "I think Jake is involved in something illegal. I've been asked to look into it by someone who cares about him very much. They're worried about him. The reason I'm here to talk to you is that I was hoping you'd be able to help me figure out what's going on. Do you have any ideas, no matter how wild, about what Jake is involved with?"

He thought for a minute. "It could be drugs, I guess," he said after a while. "I don't know what else it could be. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I told him. "It's not your fault. And for the record, I don't think it's your fault that Jake is being a jerk either. I don't think you did anything wrong. I think it's Jake that's doing something wrong."

"Really?" he asked with a vaguely desperate note in his voice, as if he very much needed to believe this.

"Yes. I have to go talk to Danielle now, but I want to say something before I go. Remember what I said earlier about having people to support you?"

He gave me a sharp look and slowly nodded. I dug a business card out of my wallet and handed it to him.

"This is none of my business really, but if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, you can talk to me. Maybe you're parents and friends are all the support you'll need, but just in case..."

I let the offer hang in the air while he studied my card as if it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. When he finally looked up, I could have sworn his eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"I don't have any friends anymore," he said in a voice so soft I could barely hear him. "And my parents are too busy to be bothered with my stupid problems."

"Your problems aren't stupid," I said gently. "They matter to you and I'll bet they would matter to your parents too."

He shrugged, but looked unconvinced. "They wouldn't understand."

"Maybe I would."

He tucked my card carefully into his pocket and folded his hands in his lap. "Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome, Craig. And I meant what I said, if you need to talk to someone, please call me."

He nodded one last time and I stood up. "I'll let myself out," I told him.

"They call me faggot," he said suddenly. I sank back into the chair.

"Who does?" I asked.

"Everybody at school."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Not to me."

"I'm not a jock. I'm not all macho. I'm not tough. I suck at sports. I walk like girl." He stopped his litany of perceived faults and took a ragged breath.

"There's nothing wrong with any of that," I told him.

He snorted. "Try telling that to the guys at my school."

"I remember what it was like," I said. He looked up at me with surprise in his eyes. "I wasn't always a legend," I said dryly. "When I was in high school I was anything but popular. I was awkward and uncoordinated when it came to sports. I was lucky, I didn't really get picked on too much because the people I hung out with were jocks. They weren't really my friends but we'd grown up together and everyone assumed we were friends so they left me alone for the most part. But when I became friends with Seth, he was the gay boy that was murdered, and I started to realize I was gay, the people who everyone thought were my friends turned on me."

"Oh wow, really?"

"Yes, really. They left that part out of the story, huh? That stuff isn't important in the long run. After high school, you'll never even see most of those idiots again. All that matters is what you think about yourself, and you shouldn't let their opinions affect that."

"Easier said than done," he mumbled.

"True. This is why it's important to talk to people who understand. Can I ask you a very personal question?"

His eyes looked everywhere in the room but at me. I didn't think he was going to answer me at first, but he finally nodded his head yes.

"Do you think you are gay?"

He bit his lip and stared at the wall over my head. Again, he didn't answer right away, but then gave a jerky nod. A tear squeezed out one eyes and rolled down his cheek.

"Have you ever told anyone before?" He shook his head no. "Well, it's ok. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone else unless you say it's ok. You can trust me." His eyes slowly lowered to meet mine. "You don't have to be afraid." I told him. You're not alone. You can ask me anything, talk to me about anything."

Suddenly he burst into tears and began to sob in earnest. I moved to the couch next to him and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. He twisted into my chest so quickly he almost threw me off balance. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his quivering shoulders, but it seemed to be the right thing to do. He calmed a little, but continued to cry for a few more minutes before pulling away and wiping furiously at his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said shakily. "I can't believe I did that."

"Don't be sorry," I said again. "It's ok. I completely understand. There's just so much pressure there that it kind of explodes out, doesn't it? Like a dam that springs a little leak and then the whole thing blows."

He gave a little relieved giggle and nodded. I gave him a moment to pull himself together. He looked at his watch and frowned.

"You should probably go," he said. "My parents will be home soon and I'd rather not have to explain why I'm crying on the couch with some guy they've never seen before."

"Are you ok?" I asked.

He smiled. "Yeah. I'm ok. I feel better than I have in months. It feels really good to tell someone, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Can I still talk to you?"

"Definitely. You'll probably need to talk now more than ever. My home phone, office, cell phone, and my email address are on the card I gave you, so you can get in touch with me no matter what. You can call me day or night, ok?"

He nodded happily then surprised me by throwing his arms around me in a big hug. "Thank you, Killian," he said as he squeezed me.

"You're very welcome, Craig."

He released me just as suddenly as he had grabbed me and stood up with a little embarrassment. I stood up too and followed him to the front door, where he was unable to stop himself from giving me another spontaneous hug. I laughed and hugged him back. He let me out and stood in the door while I got in my car. He was still standing at the door as I drove away.

Well, I thought to myself as I looked up at him in my rearview mirror, I may not have found much out for the case, but that was definitely not a wasted trip.