The Recruiter

The Recruiter By: Julien

This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of any person, place or thing. It contains sexual activities between males and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area. Read at your own risk and enjoy. Comments are welcomed and would be very much appreciated. ENJOY!

If someone had given me a mirror to take a look at myself, I'm sure I would have looked as if I had seen a ghost: chalk white. My voice up to this point had gone m.i.a. and didn't seem to want to make a returning engagement anytime soon. Taking this golden opportunity to further make me more uncomfortable, Shane decided that he needed to take a piss BAD. "Excuse me Sir but I really gotta go to the john." He said getting up and taking every opportunity to smile at me. Boy what I wouldn't do to bitch slap him right now. He didn't answer but with that smile he wouldn't need to have said much and as soon as Shane was out of sight, he took the empty seat across from me. "I heard they promoted you Wallace, CONGRADULATIONS!" And the thought that he was keeping tabs on me made me feel more vulnerable. "Yes Sir. Petty Officer 2nd Class." I declared hoping that the squeakiness in my voice that I heard was a figment of just my imagination. "No need to be so formal Wallace, I'm no longer your recruiter, nor am I your commanding officer." Oh please! Tell my dick that. It seems that whenever I thought of Marcel it decided to stand at attention. "I know, it just takes some time getting used to. So uh...what brings you to New York?" "Well Fleet Week for one. I'm coordinating a few activities for the public but more importantly, this is my new home." And to say a wave of regret and sadness washed over me was an understatement. Apparently my initial reaction showed on my face as he asked me what the matter was. "Nothing, I um..I..Uh...I'm just surprised that's all." He looked down for a second at the place setting in front of him then back at me and it was then that I realized that he was deep in thought, probably about what happened or didn't happen between us. "If you had called before you left I would have told you." And by saying that he had forced me, forced us to talk about the issue. "I know, I was really going to call you but I...I, I felt..." I had to let my voice taper off as I didn't know what I felt. "About that night..." he started but I was determined not to let him finish his thought. Nothing good could have come out of what I expected him to say, after all, look at the facts:

1. He's a married man with an exceptionally beautiful wife (I may be gay but I am NOT blind)

2. He could have called me if he really wanted something to develop

3. He probably was doing a favor for a dopey, sex deprived teen that couldn't keep his woody in check - ME.

That was as far as his feelings went towards me and I wasn't going to let him dash my dreams by bringing reality into the picture. "Forget it!" I spoke louder than I had intended and brought with my booming voice a few looks of annoyance. "I'm sorry Sir, I just don't want to talk about that. Believe me when I say I understand." "What!?" "I understand Sir, that night, I understand what it was, what it meant to you and I...I just don't want to get into it." "Wallace let me..." "No, I don't think this is the place or time sir." And it was then that I saw his face change from complacent to something that I had never seen before-it reminded me of what the DI's looked like in Boot Camp. "And as a commanding officer in the United States Navy I am COMMANDING you to stand at ease and let me finish my sentence." I don't know if I was more scared, embarrassed or both. "You can't talk to me like..." "I just did Wallace, now do me and yourself a favor and shut up and listen." And believe when I say that when a man like Marcel tells you to shut up and listen, you do just that. I sat back in my chair and stared at his chin. And then he started to speak: "I know that what I did to you in the car that night was out of line and could have gotten my ass fired but I don't regret doing it." Now I was shocked. "From the first time you walked into my office, I knew you would make a good sailor and so far I've been right. You have the heart Wallace, the heart. A lot of these young sailors are running around doing what they have to do but not really, not really connecting. But you, you really love what you do and I am telling you, right here right now that I am proud to have been your recruiter." And to say I was reduced to putty in his hands would be an understatement. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were wet, WET! I instinctively reached up and wiped my eyes and came to the conclusion that I was crying. "Come on Wallace, you want to get out of here?" "What about Shane?" "It appears he's a little busy..." he said signaling that Shane was getting quite acquainted with the host, a tall, good looking Spanish guy. They were talking and I could read between the line, the silent signals that they gave each other, not obvious to the watching public but screaming hook-up to me. He caught my eye and smiled. I smiled back and followed Marcel out of the restaurant and unto the well lit streets.

To say I was entrapped would have been the truth but that would have implied that I had been forced into this situation. And as much as I would have liked to convince myself that I was here because he was a commanding officer, I knew in my heart it was anything but. His apartment was in Brooklyn near an area called Flatbush. The area itself represented what I imagined the hustle and bustle of New York life to be. People were out shopping even though the sun had long ago set and the moon was making reappearance. His apartment over looked all of this and to me, an outsider, it was beautiful. "You like?" He asked walking two steps in front of me into a small kitchen stationed at the rear of the living room. "Yeah! It's so spacious." And it was. From what I had heard from the few guys that I met in the service who were from New York, the apartments around these areas were pretty banged up and cramped up. "Not all the places around these areas are shit you know. You just got to know where to look." "I didn't mean to say that..." "I know what you were probably thinking, it's preconceived notions. It's like everybody who comes to New York jumps at the chance to see Manhattan but barely takes the opportunity to explore Brooklyn, or Queens for that matter. You'll only get half the picture if you do that." And it had me thinking, since I had started this journey, it had been all about exploring, hadn't it? "I think I'll take that drink now." "Sure thing. What do you want? We got Pepsi, coke, sprite, fruit punch, beer, rum, water." He said turning to me and smiling at the last count. "Ha ha funny, Pepsi's good." He then got a glass, filled it with ice and poured in the contents from the can. "Here you go." He said walking towards me and handing me the drink. And would you believe that when our fingers touched I let go of the glass and watched in horror as it hit the wooden floor and shattered. Panic set in and I practically broke my neck trying to stop the spill from reaching his carpet. "Don't worry about it Stephen." Hearing him call me by my first name for what I think was the first time represented something more than the obvious. "Oh God I am so stupid!" I said shaking my head. "Calm down, breath. You made a mistake, it's not biggie." "Would you have been this calm if I got it on your carpet." He looked at the expensive material then back at me, "If it were anyone else, no but for you, yes." And that made me stop and look up at him. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I prayed that I wouldn't do any foolish shit right now. And it was as if I was in a dream as he leaned into me and his lips touched mine for the first time, the first kiss. It brought me down for the count and I all but tumbled back into the couch with his strong hands holding me, supporting me. I felt the heat radiating from his kiss and brought my hands to the back of his head begging him silently not to let this moment end. He obliged me and opened his mouth to receive my tongue. And it was as if I could have died and gone to heaven. It felt so so good being held by him, having him kiss me like that and I knew from the way that I was feeling inside that I was head over heels in love. When we finally pulled apart, I took the opportunity to look at him directly, to look into his eyes and to read them. "What do you see?" he asked well aware of my staring. Embarrassed at being caught I managed to stutter out what sounded like, "I can't read them." "Shhh, you will, we have all the time in the world."

And that's how it went for days one through seven. I couldn't believe how fast the time went but as the old cliché states: 'time flies when you're having fun' and boy was I having fun. I had hooked back up with Shane the next day aboard at around six thirty. He told me that he could see it in my face. "See what?" "Stop frontin man, I know something went down." "No you don't dip shit! And look at you, practically drooling over that guy that you've known for all of two minutes. What did you do with him or should I be asking what he did with you." He slapped me with his pillow and jumped out of the way as I attempted to retaliate. "Ok truth. What happened?" And for the first time I wasn't ashamed to admit what I was feeling, "I'm in love!" "What else is new?" "What?" "What I just say?" "You didn't know that before." "No YOU didn't know that. I tell ya Stephen, you are so dense." "What's that supposed to mean?" "If you don't know by now, you'll never get it." And with that he had climbed back into his compartment and promptly fell asleep leaving me with my thoughts. After that, we would get up early, have breakfast, entertain the countless number of civilians that boarded and then headed to our respective 'mates'. Me going to Marcels' recruiting office and Shane meeting Christopher at his den on the Upper East Side. Those seven days that I shared with him made me feel so warm inside that I dreaded leaving again this afternoon. "So what's gonna happen?" "What are you talking about?" "This, us. What's gonna happen when I go back on board and things go back to normal?" I knew exactly what I wanted to ask but I couldn't get the exact words to formulate in my head. "I don't know Stephen, I can't predict what's going to happen but I know what I want to happen." And with that he leaned in and kissed me. I just about melted unto the floor. "You need to stop worrying Stephen, everything will work itself out. You'll go back and finish your terms of service and I'll be here when you get out." The look of dismay on my face at not seeing him for the remainder of my service prompted him to continue, "We can always call and write and when you head back home, let me know and I'll make a trip to see you." It wasn't that I didn't believe him, No, that wasn't the case. I trusted him with all my heart but I knew the realities of this were harsher than the picture he was painting. What were the chances that a new relationship like this one would survive if we weren't even in contact for that first crucial year but I wouldn't allow myself to think that far ahead. "Promise me nothing will change." "You know I can't do that Stephen. Word is bond and I refuse to sit here and make a promise I can't keep." At his words I tried to imagine my life without him in it and I realized that I couldn't. "I love you." I didn't mean to say it but something inside me stirred and I knew it was now or never. "Stephen..." "No, don't say anything now ok. I know we haven't been together long but I know what, I know how I feel and even though you might not feel the same way, I need you to know how I see this, this thing." He leaned in and kissed me again. And again. Releasing me he got up pulling me with him. "I got to get to work and you should be heading back." I looked down at me feet refusing to cry. "Come on Stephen, cheer up. How you think it's going to make me feel knowing you're in the dumps like this." "I'm trying, I really am." He leaned into me and engulfed me into a hug that I welcomed. "You're a tough man so I know you'll handle this like a true sailor." I told him I would but I wasn't too sure. As we pulled apart I made it a point of duty to hold my head high. "Take care of yourself Stephen." "I will Sir." For what I hoped wouldn't be the last time, he leaned in and kissed me so softly on the lips, feather light that I hardly felt the pressure at all. I pulled apart before things got too far. "I have to go." "Yeah, me too. You have my number?" "Yeah, you have mine?" "Yeah, right here." I said pointing to my head. I could tell that he was leaning in for another kiss but I knew if he were to kiss me again, I wouldn't let go so I held out my hand for him to shake. He looked puzzled but didn't say anything. Instead, he grasped my hand and gave me a firm handshake. We let go and then I saluted him. A salute that put things into perspective, into reality. This was the end for us, I knew it and I would force myself to accept it.

That line of thinking worked for about three blocks as I walked to the subway. As the steps came into view I stopped. What was I doing? I couldn't let the man that I loved walk away without some sort of promise and that new thought had me turning around and walking back to his apartment. As his building came into view I saw something that made me want to die. With hands wrapped around his waist and her lips attached to the side of his face, Marcels' wife stood marking claim of her husband for all to see. I didn't even wait for it to register, I just ran.

"Stephen what's wrong man?" "Leave me the fuck alone!" "Come on man, what happened?" He had been asking me all these questions since I had returned in time to make my ship but I refused to let him know how used I felt. I let myself believe that there was a relationship for us, I delusioned myself to believe that we could make something but how can you make something out of nothing.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS. I'M HOPING TO ADD AT LEAST ONE MORE INSTALLEMENT BEFORE I GO ON A CHRISTMAS BREAK. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. ENJOY!