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Part 29
Darren:
On Sunday of our week at the cabin, we decided to go to the small community church in town. They don't get a big crowd, but I've enjoyed the pastor's sermons in the past and thought it would be a good thing to do.
The preacher didn't disappoint and the subject of the sermon was love - not sexual love but the love Jesus taught about it. Both Art and I found the homily quite uplifting so it was a good experience for both of us, despite the fact that the church doesn't serve weekly communion.
After church we went to brunch at a charming little restaurant on the lakeshore. They have wonderful, home-style food and everything was delicious. Just as we were served, I noticed a group enter the dining room. One guy looked very familiar, and I thought surely it was a guy I'd known somewhat over the years of vacationing here as a teenager. His name was Marty and we'd had our share of boating and water skiing fun in years past.
Today he had two people with him: a younger woman and another guy about the same age as me. Our eyes met and it was instant recognition.
"Darren, is that you?" he asked as they approached our table.
"Yeah, Marty, it's me," I answered standing up and shaking his hand. "How the heck have you been?"
"You probably don't remember me," the young woman said, and then she introduced herself as Maria, Marty's sister and about five years younger than us.
"And this is my partner Rob," Marty went on, introducing a very handsome brunette with a killer smile.
"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "This is my friend Art who's visiting up here with me this week." All the men shook hands then.
"How's Danielle?" Mary asked, and I filled her in on my sister. They'd obviously known each other, being about the same age.
After we'd chatted several minutes, Mary excused herself and went to greet other friends they were brunching with. Marty and Rob stayed and sat with us a few minutes.
"Did you say partner?" Art asked very quietly. Marty and Rob just nodded.
"I didn't know..." I started to say.
"How could you? We haven't seen each other in a long time and things just happen you know," Marty said with a grin. I laughed, and realized that was the truth.
"I'm gay too," I said. "I came out while I was in college."
"Well, I actually knew about me a long time before that, but I never had any idea about you," Marty said. "I knew from about age 15 or so."
"Well, I sure never guessed it," I said.
"I knew when I was a teenager too," Rob said. It was the first time he'd spoken and he had a deep bass voice.
"I guess I'm the dumb one," Art said with a laugh. "I just came out a few months ago."
"Are you guys partners?" Marty asked.
"We're getting there, I think," I answered as Art nodded.
All in all, it was a pleasant rendezvous with an old acquaintance. We'd never really been that close, but hearing what he'd said about his teenage years, I realized he must have been going through a lot of self-doubt and questioning at the time we'd been palling around together. He'd just seemed quiet to me at the time. I couldn't help but reflect that we could have helped each other if we'd known then what we know now.
As we started the leave the restaurant, Art whispered something to me that I thought a wonderful idea. I walked over to where Rob and Marty were sitting at a table by themselves.
"We're going to take a picnic to the parade and fireworks tomorrow night," I said. "You guys want to join us?"
They accepted eagerly and we made plans to pick them up so we'd just have one vehicle.
On Labor Day, the town has a parade in the late afternoon followed by fireworks in the park on the lakefront starting just before sunset. Art and I had already decided to make up a picnic meal and take it with us to the parade and then wait around for the fireworks. We packed up our meal in a big picnic basket my Mom left at the cabin: some hot soup in a large thermos, a big chicken salad in a special dish that had an ice pack built into it to keep food cold, plus a pasta salad. Marty and Rob had promised to bring dessert so we were set. We took along a thermos of martinis as well as two bottles of wine.
As we drove to Marty's folks house, Art made an interesting comment.
"Isn't it strange," he said, "How people seem to be coming out everywhere around us now."
"I think it's a sign of the times," I said, "But maybe it's also because we're being more open about ourselves as well."
"I noticed you didn't introduce me as your partner yesterday," he said.
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," I said. "For that matter, I didn't know if you really thought of us that way." We were stopped at a stoplight, one of the few in town.
He cocked his head at me and spoke very quietly.
"Of course, Darren," he said. "I love you."
"I love you too," I said with a smile. He took my hand in his and held it as he drove on.
Marty and Rob were all ready when we got to the house and they put their picnic stuff in the back with ours. They also had a thermos I suspected was some kind of cocktail so we were all set.
"I know just the place to set up our party," Marty said with a grin. "It's quite private and very pretty."
We parked at the waterfront and walked to his special place, Art and I carrying the picnic hamper and a large blanket while the guys carried their dessert and the wine.
The place Marty had chosen was very nice indeed. It was behind a copse of large trees and therefore pretty well hidden from the large open area of the park, yet it had a completely unrestricted view out onto the lake where the fireworks would be done.
"How'd you ever find this place, Marty?" Rob asked. "It's beautiful and really private."
"That's a secret, but I'll explain it all when we get set up," Marty answered.
In a matter of minutes, we had the picnic stuff all arranged and we relaxed with a drink. Conversation flowed smoothly between all four of us.
"Okay, now tell us about finding this place," Rob said to Marty.
"Okay, but quietly. See, here's the deal. When I had just turned eighteen, I met a guy here at the park. I wasn't exactly cruising, but when I saw him, I was pretty sure that he was into guys as well so we just kind of hung around talking and stuff. He was visiting family here at the lake and was going to be leaving the next day he told me.
"So, I figured I could get a little more forward and just flat out asked him if he was gay. Pretty brazen, huh?"
We all acknowledged that it was pretty forward on his part.
"So the guy says 'yeah' and asked about me. So I confirmed that I was gay and that I found him attractive. He then said 'come on' and led me to this spot. He told me another guy had taken him here a few days earlier, so pretty soon we were back here playing around."
"You mean sex right here in the open?" Art asked incredulously.
"Well, it wasn't really that big a deal," Marty said. "Today the park is crowded because of the holiday, but that day there wasn't anyone around."
"How old a guy was he?" Rob asked. He almost sounded a bit piqued, but he tried to keep his voice casual.
"Probably about twenty-two or so," Marty said. "Don't worry, Rob, it was strictly a one-time thing, you know that, and it was six or seven years ago."
Suddenly we heard the band playing and all walked to the edge of the park and watched as the parade passed. It was a small-town affair with VFW and other groups marching along with the local school band and some baton twirlers. The band was playing patriotic signs and there was a mini drum-and-bugle corps too. In other words, real small town America and quite fun to watch.
"I love parades," Rob said, unabashedly wiping a tear from his eyes as the rest of us smiled at him. Afterward, we strolled back to our picnic area and within an hour or so, other groups had assembled in the large, open park area with their own picnics.
Conversation within our foursome moved on to other subjects, and they both really were very likeable guys although they had a tendency to bicker and disagree over the smallest things, albeit in a playful way. They explained that they lived together about four hours away from here and admitted that they only came up to the cabin when Marty's parents weren't there.
"It's not that we don't get along," he said, "It's just that we like to be able to completely relax and they always want to organize things for us to all do together. It's just more fun when we're here on our own."
"I wish we'd run into you sooner," I said. "We were out water skiing and boating last week and we could have had fun together."
"Oh, we just drove up yesterday. Mary was here last week, but she's all wrapped up with her girl and boy friends."
The picnic was fun, and we all got alone fine. After we'd eaten, Rob and Art went off in search of a restroom and Marty and I stayed behind to clean up the stuff.
"It's really something, meeting you again after all these years," Marty continued. "Imagine all the fun we missed when we were kids." I had to laugh at that; it had never occurred to me that Marty or I were gay back then. Who knows, something might have happened.
"That's a good looking guy you've got there," Marty said with a big grin. "You guys make a great couple."
"Well, we're taking it slow," I said, "Art hasn't been out that long and I really don't want to put any pressure on him about making a commitment."
"I believe you mean what you're saying, Darren," he countered, "But the way he looks at you tells me he's totally hooked. It's clear that he's crazy about you. You know that, don't you?"
I didn't get to answer as the guys came back just then so I just winked at Marty and let it go at that.
The fireworks, while not spectacular big city style, were fun and we all went 'oooh' and 'aaah' repeatedly, laughing at ourselves as we did so. By now it was getting fairly dark and the two couples kind of cuddled, but not in any way being too overt. When the fireworks show was over, we gathered up our stuff and headed back to the car and drove the guys.
We said we'd be leaving in a few days, but Marty promised to call so we could exchange personal information and try to keep in touch.
"Maybe we can make it an annual event, being here for Labor Day?" Rob said. "I think that would be fun." We all agreed but no definite plans were made.
When we got back to the cabin, Art became very quiet indeed as we unpacked the hamper and put the stuff away. He walked out onto the screened porch and sat down in a chair, looking somewhat depressed.
"What's the matter?" I asked as I followed him into the porch and sat down across from him. When he looked at me, I knew something was really bothering him.
"What's up, babe?" I asked. Art gave me a long, silent look before he spoke.
"You know what? I've never been jealous of anyone at all in my life before today." I must have looked surprised because he smiled.
"I mean it," Art said, "I've never been jealous of guys who were rich or guys who had it easier than me. But today I'm feeling jealous and upset for the first time in my life." I was stumped and probably my face showed it.
"What do you mean?" I finally said.
"Well, it's just this," Art answered quietly, "I want you so badly. A couple of weeks ago we were with Joe and Fred and I saw them as a couple. Then today it was these two guys. It just makes me feel kind of jealous not to have what they have."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean I want you and me to be partners...together, a couple, like they are." It made me smile but I was concerned by his anguished tone.
"I get the feeling you don't really think of us as a couple - you know, as partners?" Art said.
"That's not true," I said quietly, taking his hands in mine. "That's not true at all." He looked me in the eyes but he didn't speak.
"Are you willing to make that kind of commitment?" I asked. "You know I promised you that I'd never push you on anything like this."
Part 30
Art:
I guess I should have realized that Darren was waiting for me to initiate the conversation about commitment. He was the one who had always known who he was; I was the one who'd finally figured it out.
"Oh crap," I said. "I hadn't thought about it that way. Here I was waiting for you to say something and you wanted me to make the first move." Darren just nodded his head.
"I'm sorry, Art," Darren said. "I just couldn't push you. Remember, that was the promise I made to you from the start."
"I understand that, but I want it more than you can ever know," I said very quietly. "And it's very important to me. I don't think I can imagine my life without you in it." Darren thought about it a minute.
"I know what you mean," Darren answered. "I feel the same way about you. But tell me, why is this so important right now?"
"It's important because I want you to tell me that you want me - not just now but forever. I want you to love me always."
"Oh, Art, you don't know how I've wanted to hear you say that. I've prayed that you wanted me that way but I could never ask."
Darren's face split with an incredible smile, but he went on talking.
"This week has convinced me that we belong together. I love you and I believe you love me. More than that, I feel that we complement each other very well. We're pretty good in bed too!" This last was accompanied by another big grin.
"Yes," I answered finally. "I'm sure I love you and I think we're even better suited to each other than those two guys today. That's why I really needed to know how you felt. I just don't think I could have stood it if you didn't want me that way too."
Darren's eyes started to fill with tears and then I realized I was having the same problem.
"Oh God, I love you," I said, putting my arms around him and pulling him toward me.
"I love you too," he answered. Then our lips touched and we kissed, but it's hard to kiss when you're crying and right then we both were.
Once we'd calmed down again we sat holding each other.
"I feel like I've finally found my life," I said. "It's like I was waiting all my life for you. Everything that happened to me before now was just me waiting until you showed up."
"Me too," Darren said. "I never thought about it that way before. I love you and feel completely at ease with you. Art, I want you to be mine forever."
I kissed him passionately when he said that and I knew that I was the happiest man on earth.
"I am yours forever, Darren, if you'll be mine."
I don't think I'd ever felt the euphoria I knew right then. I certainly hadn't felt it when I'd married my wife; she was a smart, attractive and a nice person, but she had never caused the emotional fulfillment that Darren had given me that evening.
We held each other for hours, kissing and snuggling together.
"Take me to bed," Darren said very quietly after a long time. "Take me and love me and tell me again and again that you're mine."
We did that a lot that night and it was wonderful. The next morning when I woke up, I had to just lie there, taking in Darren's handsome face and telling myself that he was mine. He loved me.
We couldn't wait to share the news when we got home two days later. Darren called Dennis and George as well as his parents; I called my sister and then Joe and Fred. Everyone was as happy and enthusiastic as we were.
After talking to my sister, I even made plans to go and visit my Mom and to come out to her and introduce her to her new son-in-law. My sister was reassuring about my Mom. I hoped it would go well, but it didn't really matter to me. I had the guy I wanted and that's what made me so happy.
I won't go on with epilogues or projecting the future, but Darren and I have had a wonderful life together.
We've often talked about how we got off to a slow start and questioned things as we went along. I realize it was mostly a matter of me finding myself, belated as that was, but I think in a way it was good for both Darren and me to proceed slowly as well.
We both believe that falling in love slowly may be better, at least for us, than the famous love-at-first-sight deal that works for some other people. The way things turned out suited us both just fine.
The End Note: Thanks to everyone who's written with feedback; it's always appreciated.