Memoirs

By JX

Published on Jan 4, 2002

Gay

As always, this story cannot be used on any site without my consent. If you wish to use it, contact me at XXX_Supafly@yahoo.com. This, and all my other stories can be found on my website http://www.angelfire.com/mi3/TripleX. Check it out for future updates on my writing.

Disclaimer: This story features sex of the gay kind. If that's not your cup of tea, switch to coffee and don't read on. For those of you still here, I hope you enjoy.


Back in the present. I could hardly sleep that night. I got up several times during the night and popped in my demo. I would only play a couple songs, then attempt to go back to sleep. But the sleep would last only minutes. I was so in love with hearing my voice, on my favorite songs, that I could barely go an hour without hearing them. I gave up on sleep eventually, and turned the CD back on. I walked out onto the balcony and lit the candles, then layed down on the futon and stared into the moonlight. I noticed off in the distance a department store with a blinking 24 on the sign. Since I couldn't sleep, I made the decision to walk to that store. It was on the walk to that store, I made the decision to take my relationship to the next level.


Chapter 4: The Next Level

The Texas night air was pleasantly warm as I walked to that Department Store. I felt a little like a weirdo, walking to a store at 4 am to buy sex necessities and food. But oh well, I'd never been to Dallas in my life, so its not like I'd be recognized. And I seriously doubted that if I became famous, some cashier working at 4 am would remember and say "I sold condoms and lube to that kid once!" And if she did, oh well, that'll be my publicists job to take care of.

I walked into the store and grabbed a cart, simply to stand against. I highly doubted I'd be buying enough to fill a cart. Seriously, saying as I only had like 40 dollars in my wallet. I started my walk around the store, casually looking at anything flashy that caught my eye. I made my way over to the CD rack, and just for fun looked in the "C" section.

"Wow," I said aloud. "I'll get to be in the same section as Mariah. Well that'll be good for my sales,"

I thumbed through Mariah's CD's, just to make sure there wasn't anything I didn't have. Occasionally, out of town, I find special imports and things of that nature. I say out of town, because Anson is seriously lacking in good stores. The one big store we do have is a K-Mart, and they're seriously lacking in the CD Department. They had nothing I didn't already have, so disappointed, I made my way from the department and into the next one, health and beauty.

I walked through a few aisles and grabbed the stuff I'd forgotten at home; hair gel, eye drops, and a toothbrush. Toothbrushes came complimentary with my hotel room, but I wasn't going to trust those generic brands on my teeth. I needed my Oral B. 17 years without a cavity was a record I was quite proud of. I found the same toothbrush I had at home, and tossed it into the cart. I then made my way to the next aisle, the aisle I had been waiting for, sexual health. My virginal eyes were amazed when I saw the different varieties of condoms.

"Geez, who knew," I said aloud, picking up a random box and reading it. "Magnum, for that special guy over 10 inches. Good lord, definitely don't need that big," I said, placing the box back on the hook. Thank God I didn't need that big. If Doyle were that big, there ain't no way he'd be taking his dick anywhere near my skinny ass. He may break me in half as it is.

I continued to read the different boxes, but to myself, in case there was someone standing around. I'd seen someone burned on that before. I'd been shopping with Ashley and her mom, and Mom was looking for Boxers for her husband. She was walking around the Men's Department, and asked aloud "If I were Men's Underwear, where would I be?" The three of us burst into laughter as a stockman came from behind us saying "Third aisle on your left." That may not seem funny to you, but in the moment, it was freaking hilarious. Ashley and I could not stop laughing for the rest of the day. I had no desire for something like that to happen again, to me anyways. So I browsed around the different boxes of condoms in silence, until I found ones that suited me. "Dual Pleasure" sounded good to me. So I tossed the box into the cart and made my way a few feet down to the lube. I actually knew what I was looking for in this case, and grabbed a tube of KY Jelly, and tossed it into the cart. I made a hasty exit from the aisle as an elderly woman made her way into the aisle. I really didn't feel like watching an old woman shop for sex items.

After I left Health and Beauty, I made my way past everything else and into the junk food section. Like the lube, I knew exactly what I wanted in this case too. I searched around until I found a tube of Ranch Pringles, and lucky I found them when I did, as there was only one can left. I snatched it up quickly and continued on my search for the missing piece to my junk food fest, Oreo cookies. They were in the next aisle, so I snatched up a bag and made my way to the checkout.

I was laughing at myself in my head as I loaded my items onto the counter. Hair gel, eye drops, a toothbrush, condoms, KY jelly, Oreo's, and Ranch Pringles. What a freak I must look like buying this stuff at 4:00 A.M. The cashier was chuckling lightly as she scanned the items.

"Looks like someone plans on having a good time tonight," She said, giving me a suggestive wink.

"You might say that," I replied, laughing slightly at the wink she'd given me.

She laughed, and told me the total for my goods. I paid her and grabbed the bags from the counter. As I turned to walk away, she spoke once more.

"You have fun sugar. Whomever you're going home to will be a mighty lucky girl,"

"Thanks," I laughed lightly, inside I was laughing like crazy. "I'll be sure to tell her that,"

I walked out of the store, and as soon as I was outside, burst into laughter. I could just see myself telling Doyle right now: "Guess what honey, some crazy old cashier at this store in Dallas said you were a lucky girl because you get to fuck me." God, just the thought of that was too funny. I'd hate to see how I'd laugh if I actually said it. I could barely cease my laughing on the walk back to the hotel. But as I entered the lobby, I ceased it completely and walked to the elevator in complete silence. I hoped no one saw me, I didn't feel like explaining to Jessica why I went to a store at 4 am. I was able to make my way back to my room in complete silence, without running into anyone. Once I was in, I tossed my bag onto the bed, and quickly tore into the Pringles. I pressed play once more on my demo, and began to munch on my Pringles as I listened to myself sing "Never Too Far" for about the 7th time that night.


I was awoken early the next morning by the shrill ringing of a telephone. I inched my way over the bag of Oreo's and to the phone on the nightstand, and picked it up to hear dial tone. It was then I realized that the ringing I was hearing was my cell phone. I had it on that annoying ring to wake myself up in the morning. I had a history of sleeping through my alarm clock. I dreadfully inched out of the bed and walked to my cell phone.

"Don't hang up," I said, expecting the phone to listen I guess.

I dug into my pants pocket and produced my cell phone. I flipped it open and hit talk. I had yet to glance at a clock, so I had no idea who would be calling.

"Hello?" I said

"Ethan, its mom,"

Oh boy, I had been dreading this phone call. My mother had been out of town when the fated meeting with Jessica had occured. And I had played my Aunt Caitlyn card to get permission to go. My mother had never been one to encourage my music. As I said before, she wanted me to have a "normal childhood." Well, I was 17 now, I think I had lived a normal childhood. It was time to live my dream. I just seriously hoped my mother wasn't going to stand in the way.

"Um, hi mom,"

"Your Aunt told me everything," She replied

"Mom, I couldn't turn this opportunity down. It's Jessica Simpson and...." I started before she cut me off.

"Ethan, will you shut up? I'm happy for you sweetie,"

That came as quite a shock. I completely expected this conversation to turn into a huge arguement. Which would end with her stomping my dreams yet again. I had played the scene out several times in my head on the drive to Dallas from Anson. I'd get home, tell my mom what had happened. She'd get mad, then start to cry, tell me she wanted me to have a normal childhood. Then I'd get mad, tell her I'd already had one. She'd get mad in return, and forbid me from doing anything professionally until I was 18. Thank God things didn't turn out like that. I could still barely believe I was talking to MY mother.

"What?" I managed to say after a minute or so.

"I'm happy for you Ethan. You can't stay my baby forever. I just want you to be happy,"

"I am happy mom. You know this is what I've always wanted,"

"I do sweetie. I'm genuinely happy for you,"

Hearing those words brought so much joy to me. I had always dreamed of a career in music. But I always thought that career would damage my relationship with my mother, because me being in music was the last thing she wanted. I never thought in a million years she'd ever support it. But here she was, doing just that. I guess Ashley was right, I really did have the World's Coolest Mom.

"So when are you coming home?" My mother asked, breaking me from my daze.

"I should be home today," I replied, opening the curtains on the balcony doors. Sun burst through the windows, tinting the room with a yellow glow. I took that as a good omen for my day to come.

"Well, I may not be here. But I can't wait to hear all about everything,"

"Okay,"

"Talk to you later sweetie,"

"Love you,"

"Love you too,"

"Bye,"

"Bye,"

I switched off the phone and tossed it back in the direction of the bed. I made my way onto the balcony and marvelled at the amazing view. I still couldn't believe I was in my very own penthouse suite. And on top of that, Jessica Simpson was the one who got me here. I don't think I'd ever really grasp that one.

After I spent 20 minutes or so on the balcony, I made my way back inside and into the shower. As I began to strip down, I was reminded of Doyle. The feelings of our first night together came flooding back to me. I could still feel his mouth on me. I could still taste him on my tongue. But most importantly, I could still feel the feelings I got when he told me he loved me. My body was engulfed with such pleasure when I heard those words. More pleasure than any orgasm could ever give me. I loved that man so deeply, in such a short amount of time. And there isn't a greater feeling in this world than knowing those feelings were returned.

As I was stepping from the shower, I heard a knock come at the door. I expected it to be Jessica, so I slipped on the complimentary bathrobe and made my way to the door. I opened the door, and instead of Jessica, there stood a bellhop, who couldn't possibly be any older than myself.

"Mr. Christiansen?" He asked.

"Yes?" I asked in reply.

"Ms. Simpson requests your presence for breakfast poolside,"

"Okay, tell her I'll be down in like 10 minutes,"

"Will do sir,"

The bellhop flashed me a rather warm smile then proceeded to walk back down the hall. I shut the door and made my way back to the bathroom. I quickly finished getting ready. I stared into the mirror for a few seconds before I realized my eyes were still blue. I walked back to the bed and grabbed my contacts from my bag. I popped them in then slipped the case into my pocket. I was now officially ready to face the world. I grabbed my phone from the floor near the bed and made my way downstairs.


"Ethan, my star!" Jessica yelled from the far side of the pool as I entered the courtyard.

"Jessica, my angel!" I yelled back. Truths be told, that's what I thought of her as.

As I sat down in the lounge chair next to her, a woman approached me and asked me what I'd like for breakfast. I wasn't all that hungry, so I ordered a bowl of fresh fruit, with no sugar, and a grapefruit juice. As the waitress left to get my food, Jessica began to speak.

"I talked to my manager this morning," She said plainly, sipping at her orange juice.

"Oh?"

"She's willing to take you on. I played her one song from your demo, and she wanted you,"

"That's wonderful!" I exclaimed.

"Well, don't get too ahead of yourself. I haven't talked to the head of the label yet. And even after I do, it could take weeks to get everything cemented,"

"I've been waiting for this my whole life, a couple of weeks won't be nothing,"

"That's good to hear. Because from where I sit, I can guarantee they'll sign you. No record executive on earth is stupid enough to pass you by,"

I laughed and thanked the waitress as she reappeared with my food. I began to pick at my food as Jessica relayed to me her signing with Columbia. Tommy Motolla, arguably the smartest man ever in music had signed her. But he was in prison now, for tampering with artist's music, and buying his artists air play. That wasn't a big surprise, why else would Jennifer Lopez have been a star? Jessica assured me that the new head wasn't crooked, and would "die for my voice." I didn't care if he was crooked honestly, as long as he signed me. He could buy me all the air play he wanted, I wouldn't disagree. Like I said earlier, I could be singing the Macarena, as long as I got to hear myself on the radio.

The morning passed rather dully, for people who aren't interested in the life story of Jessica Simpson. I however was, so I enjoyed myself. But I won't bore you with the details. After a nice lunch at a small little restaurant called "Tanzone's", we boarded the limo and started the drive back to Anson. Jessica continued to tell me stories on the ride home. By the end of this trip, I knew more about Jessica Simpson than any other fan in history. But I liked the way she seemed so comfortable with me. It was only a few days since we'd known each other, but we both treated each other like life long friends. I hoped, even once I became "competition", that it was a friendship we could keep.

When we arrived in back in Anson, Jessica double checked my personal information, like phone number, address and stuff, so she could contact me herself when she got word from the executives on my signing. She assured me about five times that I'd get a contract. I told her the truth, I didn't really care if I was signed. She'd already made me the happiest person alive. She hugged me and told me she'd be in touch. I told her thank you for about the millionth time in the past few days, and made my way into my house. As soon as I got in, I immediately ran to the stereo and popped my demo in. I could hardly believe I was hearing myself. And as I sat and listened to "Never Too Far" in length, I could hardly believe I was able to hit that last note. But Jessica had said I had the possibility for a 4-octave range, which is even higher than what she herself has. I didn't really believe her. A 4-octave range would put me an octave below Mariah Carey. And I didn't think for even a second I could EVER be that good. And I knew for damned sure I could never hit half of those glass shattering high notes she does. I was content to sing in my normal range, and not try to stretch myself to hit the high notes.

After I'd sat and listened to my entire demo, I pulled it from the stereo, and made my way back to my bedroom. I picked up the phone and dialed Doyle's number. It was Thursday, so he shouldn't be at work. I tapped my foot impatiently against the floor as I listened to the phone ring. As I was just about to hang up, someone answered.

"Is Doyle there?" I asked

"Yeah, hold on," The girl replied, setting the phone down and yelling "Hey Ugly, the phone's for you," Whomever she was, must obviously be blind. Because there is no way in hell anyone could say Doyle was ugly.

Doyle eventually got to the phone, and answered with a "Hey Gorgeous,"

"Hey, I'm home now," I replied sweetly.

"Thought you were gonna call when you were on your way?" He asked in a joking tone.

"I was too busy learning the entire life story of Jessica Simpson," I laughed, flicking my computer on.

He laughed for a second, then cleared his throat. "Want me to come over?"

"Of course, I've missed you,"

"I missed you too," He replied quietly. "I'll be over in a few,"

"Okay,"

"I love you,"

"Love you more," I joked

"Liar,"

"Bye babe," I laughed.

"Bye,"

I hung up the phone and placed it back onto the base. I clicked around for a few seconds on my computer then inserted two CDs. One into the player, and one into the burner. I clicked OK then got up from the desk and plopped down onto the bed. I was once again smiling uncontrollably. Just hearing his voice gave me little butterflies. I wondered for a second if I had the same effect on him. I was pretty sure I knew the answer. After all, he'd said "I love you" first. And I knew he meant it just as much as I did. Just a glimpse into his sparkling green eyes filled me with love. I don't think there was any way I'd ever be able to look at his beautiful face and not smile. I didn't care if everything feel through with the record company, as long as I still had Doyle, I knew I'd be all right.

I was still staring at my ceiling as I heard the knock at the front door. I made a mental note to write something on the ceiling, so it wouldn't be so weird when I stared at it for so long. I hopped to my feet and rushed to the front door. I opened it up and was greeted with a white rose.

"Hey sexy," Doyle said, handing me the rose then kissing me lightly on the lips. "I missed you,"

"I missed you too," I said as I shut the door behind him. I smelled the rose for a second, and was reminded I had never told him White Roses were my favorite. "Wait a sec, how did you know white roses were my favorite?"

"I am related to your best friend," He laughed, looking over the DVDs on top of the Television.

"Good point," I said, walking into the kitchen to look for a vase. Doyle followed behind me and took a seat at the bar.

He watched in silent amusement as I tore apart the kitchen looking for a vase. My quest proved unsuccessful, so I settled on an empty bottled water. I filled it up with water and deposited the flower into it. I began my walk back to my bedroom and motioned for Doyle to follow me with my hand. He grasped my hand, and followed quickly behind me.

I put the flower next to my desk, and noticed the CD was done burning. I popped it out, and put it into an empty case. I then handed it to Doyle with a huge smile on my face.

"What's this?" He asked.

"My demo,"

"I wanna hear it," He said excitedly

I just nodded and ejected my copy from my computer and took it to my stereo. I popped it in and pressed play. I went and sat down next to Doyle and stared at him as "Never Too Far" started to play. I saw his eyes light up as my voice began. He reached over and grasped my hand in his, and just stared at the stereo. He stayed like that until the end of the song, when his jaw almost dropped at the last note. After the song was over, he leaned over and kissed me. Our lips touched for minutes, our tongues writhing against each other until he broke the kiss.

"You are so amazing Ethan. These songs are really going to take you to the next level,"

As he uttered those words, a lightbulb went on in my head (Or my pants, depends on how you look at it.) Our relationship had already experienced alot in its first week of life. But there was one last level for it travel. The level of intercourse. I'd been thinking about it since our first night together. That was why, in one of my many hours spent awake in my hotel room in Dallas, I had snuck out and walked to the 24 Hour Department Store and bought the necessities. I paused within my head to make sure I was really ready for it. I mean, Doyle was pretty big. And it was a pretty big step to be taking after only a week. But I loved Doyle so much. I wanted to be one with him, in body and in soul. I knew right then, I wanted to do this. I wanted Doyle inside me.

"There's something else that can take me to the next level," I said, as seductively as I could possibly be.

"What's that?" He asked.

I paused momentarily to think about how pure and innocent minded Doyle really was. I don't think he had a cell in his body capable of thinking sexual. I, on the other hand naturally thought in that direction. I made a mental note to stop with the sexual subleties and get straight to the point with Doyle from now on. But as sexual as mind was, I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. So I leaned over and whispered my intentions into Doyle's ear. I watched with fascination as his eyes went from curiosity, to excitement, to concern all in the brief time I was whispering in his ear.

"Are you sure?" He asked, a look of concern stretched across his beautiful face. "I mean, it's a pretty big step,"

"I love you Doyle," I said, grasping his hand in mine. "I'm sure,"

"Don't we need like, stuff?" He asked, laughing nervously and dropping his eyes from mine.

"I have everything we need," I replied, lifting his chin with my finger.

Doyle smiled brightly at me, then leaned over and brought his lips once more to mine. His tongue quickly entered my mouth, and I felt our tongues softly caress one another. The nervous apprehension of our first night together was no where to be seen, as Doyle softly pushed me back against the bed. His hand immediately found the buttons of my shirt and unfastened them. He pushed the fabric from my chest and began to graze his hands slowly across my chest as our tongue battle continued. I shuddered lightly under his touch, getting a quiet giggle from Doyle, but never breaking out lip lock. His kisses started drifting slowly down my neck as his hands too began to drift lower. His hand stopped at my crotch, and he began to stroke me through the fabric of my jeans. I moaned out loudly and gripped the sheets in my hands. He then brought his hands to my jeans, and unbuttoned them and pulled them down before I had the chance to object (Like I would've anyways.) I now lay before my boyfriend in nothing but a pair of silver silk boxers.

"You are so beautiful Ethan," He said softly. "I don't deserve you," He said, nuzzling his face into my neck.

"You do deserve me," I replied, grazing my fingers through his hair "With all of my mood swings and murderous tendencies,"

He lifted his face from my neck and looked at me with amusement in his eyes. I stuck my tongue out and he giggled at me. I pulled him down and brought my lips to his. He let out a soft growl as I flipped him over on the bed and straddled him. I could feel his erection pressing insistently against my ass as I began to suck at his neck. I adjusted myself, and began to grind my own erection into his as I continued to suck at his neck. I brought my hands to the waistband of his jeans, and yanked his t-shirt from them. He sat up only momentarily to remove his shirt, then pulled me back down on top of him. I dove right onto his nipples with my tongue, causing him to moan out loudly. I expertly undid his jeans and removed my mouth from his chest for only a brief second while I removed them, boxers and all. I then brought my hand down to his swollen 7 inches. He shuddered under my grasp, and thrust up into my hand. I continued to jerk him slowly while I massaged his nipples with my tongue. He was squirming underneath me, and moaning out loudly each time I jerked upward. I continued to jerk him for about five minutes then got up from the bed. I walked over to my bag and grabbed the condoms and lube from it. I walked back over to the bed and placed them in Doyle's hands.

He pulled me on top of him and returned his lips to mine with a passion. He flipped me over slowly onto my back and positioned himself between my legs. I watched with anticipation as he unscrewed the cap of lube and squirted some into his hand. He pushed my boxers quickly to the floor, then resumed his position. I flinched at the cold feeling of the lube pressing against my ass, but urged Doyle to continue. He happily obliged, and slid his finger cautiously inside me. I moaned softly at the sensation. He moved his finger around inside me, making me squirm from the pleasure. I then felt him slide another finger in me slowly. He moved his fingers around inside me slowly, until he hit my spot. I moaned out loudly and clenched my ass around his fingers. He looked up at me with a look of satisfaction on his face and continued to press lightly against my spot. At that point, I lost all dignity.

"Please Doyle," I begged. "I need you inside me,"

I almost laughed as he jumped instantly to his feet and ripped a condom from the package. My hole was quivering with anticipation as he slipped the condom slowly onto his throbbing 7 inches. He then squirted some of the lube into his hand and rubbed it onto his sheathed cock. He then lifted my legs onto his shoulders and placed himself at my opening.

"Tell me if it hurts," He whispered softly.

I didn't say anything but nodded and braced myself for him. I wanted to scream as the spongy head of his cock pressed past my opening. But the sheer desire was enough for me to hold on. He pressed inch after inch into me until I felt his balls hit my ass.

"God...Ethan....You're....so.....hot," He murmured, out of breath.

"Fuck me," I begged once more.

He leaned down and brought his lips sensuously to mine as he began to thrust slowly into me. The feelings that began surging through my body were enough to send me into a pleasure induced coma. Our first night together paled in comparison to the feelings I was receiving right now. Doyle began grunting and moaning at the same time as his thrusting speed began to increase. I was in utter heaven, moaning out his name with each thrust. I felt his hand slip slowly down my chest and grab my until now, neglected cock. He began to jerk sporadically, until he was able get in sync with his thrusting. I was officially in ecstacy. My eyes were jammed shut from the sheer pleasure shooting through out me. I continued to moan out Doyle's name, and clench my ass around his cock with each thrust in. His grunts were becoming louder, his thrusts pushing deeper into me each time. Before I even knew what happened, I felt orgasm over take me, and I felt my cum spill over his hand. Doyle continued his thrusting for only seconds more before he looked directly into my eyes and spoke.

"I love you Ethan,"

"I love you too," I replied.

I then felt his last thrust enter me, and his cock pulse as it shot load after load into the condom. Doyle hissed slightly as he pulled his softening cock from my ass. He yanked the condom off and deposited it into the trash can by my bed. He then lay back on the bed and pulled me to him. Our lips met softly, then separated as I lay my head onto his chest.

"I love you Doyle," I murmured, nuzzling against his chest.

"I love you too, more than you'll ever know," He replied.

Those were the last words that were spoken that night. Doyle fell quickly asleep, but I could understand that, he was utterly amazing. I lay on his chest for hours, just listening to his rhythmic breathing. If it were at all possible, I felt as if I loved him even more now. He was the single most perfect being on this Earth. And he was all mine. It was in that moment, as I reflected upon the events of the past days, I came upon a realization. Jessica Simpson was not my angel. My angel, was Doyle.

Next: Chapter 5


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