Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you.
Hey everyone! Hope you are all doing well. Here's part 4 entitled, "Fight"
"FIGHT"
It seems as if every day for me since I moved to San Diego is a fight. It started out with my fighting to go one day with out crying. It was followed by fighting to go a day with out being depressed. It was proceeded by fighting to smile again. Then it was fighting to get a good night's sleep. With all the fighting I've been doing lately I couldn't believe it myself when I woke up and felt like myself again. I felt like I could breath again. I guess I was fighting so much that I put myself on auto-fight and didn't realize that I came to a point where I didn't have to fight anymore. Maybe it was the fact that I finally accepted what happened to Nick and decided to move forward or maybe it had to do with my new life in San Diego, but somehow I became able to be me. The happy person I once was. I feel as if Luke Grayson is back. Even my new friends noticed this change in me when we went out to dinner last night after we all got done with work.
"I don't think I've ever heard you laugh so much," Shane pointed out to me. It was true, since Nick died I hardly ever laughed, it was a rarity. Nothing seemed funny in life, but recently I found myself smiling more and laughing all the time.
"It's been a while," I replied to Shane. He smiled at me, I knew that he was glad to see that I was feeling better. We all dialed down our laughter when we saw that Ford had a solemn look on his face.
"You okay Ford?" Rich asked gently.
"I'm still bitter," Ford replied. Ford was upset over the fact that the last man he dated ended up being married. He thought that he was the perfect guy, charming, successful, handsome. For a short period of time Ford truly believed that he met the love of his life and on the night he was going to confess his love to the man, Ford found out that he was married. The man went from being Mr. 10 to Mr. 0.
"We tried warning you," Benji said taking a sip of his drink. "But you were so insistent that he was the real deal."
"I thought he was," Ford defended.
"But he wasn't. I told you so," Benji taunted teasingly.
"Thanks for rubbing it in," Ford replied annoyed by Benji's comment.
"Buddy, you're going to find someone great," Shane encouraged. He was sitting next to Ford so he rubbed his back gently.
"When?" Ford asked.
"When the time is right," I added. "He's out there."
"Maybe we should change the subject," Rich suggested.
"Well I have some news," Benji said getting our attention.
"You going to talk about your latest one-night-stand?" Ford asked, not in the mood to hear about another one of Benji's sex-a-thons.
"Not exactly," Benji replied. "I'm dating someone."
Well, as you know, my new friend, Benji Bennett, is on the promiscuous side. In the short time I've known him, he's had more sexual partners than I've had in my entire life. So it took me, Shane, Rich and Ford by surprise when he announced that he was dating someone he liked.
"You're what?" Ford asked when Benji revealed the news. I think out of all of us, he was the most surprised.
"I'm dating someone," Benji repeated himself.
"As in actual dating?" Rich asked. "You're going to go on more than one date with this guy?"
"Yes," Benji replied. "We've been on two dates already and I'm seeing him again tomorrow night."
"I never thought I'd see the day," Shane laughed.
"Who is this guy?" Rich asked. We all wanted to know about the man who got Benji to go on a date.
"His name is Scott something," Benji answered. "He's a photographer and oh so hot!"
"And you're dating him? You don't even know his last name" Ford said furrowing his eyebrows.
"So what? Me knowing his first name is good enough," Benji replied. "He took me sailing last week and then we had lunch and walked along the beach other day and we're going out for dinner tomorrow."
"Wow, he took you sailing?" I asked, impressed by the originality of doing that for a first date. "Sounds pretty romantic."
"It was nice," Benji said, still clearly a bit uncomfortable with romance.
"Those have to be the two most perfect dates," Rich added. "The man is pretty smooth."
"Do you like him?" Shane asked.
"I don't want to say," Benji replied. Rich, Shane and I immediately starting whistling and howling when we heard that response.
"You do like him!" I said. "That's great."
"How's the sex?" Shane asked.
"Unbelievable," Benji revealed. "He has the most delicious dick."
"Over share!" Ford snapped.
"That's nothing," Benji smiled. "You should see how much he can make me come."
"And you really like him?" Rich asked.
"I don't know if I REALLY like him, but enough to go out with him again. At least to fuck him again," Benji laughed.
"I can't believe YOU are dating someone," Ford said. "How could you do this to me?" Ford couldn't help but feel angry over the fact that even Benji, someone who doesn't normally do relationships, has found someone.
"Excuse me?" Benji asked taken aback by Ford's aggressiveness.
"You don't even like relationships!" Ford pointed out. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Calm down Ford! I'm not marrying the guy. I've just been on two dates," Benji said.
"Two perfect dates!" Ford snapped.
"Well, it was pretty fabulous," Benji boasted.
"How can this happen?" Ford asked frustrated. "I have been looking for a great relationship for as long as I can remember and look who gets it, the man-whore of the group." We all grew silent, we knew that Ford didn't really mean what he said, but it didn't change the fact that it was still a really harsh thing to say. We all looked at Benji to see how he would respond to that statement. He had a look of shock on his face as well, mixed with anger and hurt.
"If you'll excuse me," Benji said getting up from his chair, "I'm not very hungry anymore. Good night." He then put on his jacket and left the restaurant.
While my fight may have been over, it looks like a war between Ford and Benji has begun. Rich, Shane and I looked over at Ford who was looking at Benji's empty chair in anger. "I'm not hungry either," Ford got up from his seat, "Good night."
When Ford left the restaurant as well, the three of us looked at one another wondering what just happened.
"Has this happened before?" I asked. Since I was new to the group I didn't know if there was protocol for a situation like this.
"Not since I've been around," Rich said. "Shane, you've known them the longest."
"They've gotten in arguments, but nothing like this," Shane said still trying to absorb what happened.
"I guess it was bound to happen," I said. "The two of them are so opposite of one another."
"Yeah, but they're best friends," Shane said. "This is pretty bad."
"Maybe we should all get together and talk it out with them," Rich said. "Bring peace back in the group."
"I think I want to stay out of the line of fire," I said.
"Same here," Shane added.
"Well, I'll try to light some candles and herbs tonight to send some forgiving vibes in the air," Rich said.
"Good idea babe," Shane said giving Rich a kiss on the cheek, he then looked at me and rolled his eyes. I giggled to myself. I know Rich means well when he gets all into his new-age beliefs and meditation and whatnot, but sometimes I think he's making the chants up that he says and from Shane's eyes rolling I could tell that he felt the same way.
The next day I woke up to the sound of knocking at my door. When I opened it up I was greeted by Ford who was carrying a tray with two coffee's and a box of donuts.
"I need to talk," were the first words out of Ford's mouth.
"Come on in," I replied rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I looked down at myself dressed in a wife-beater and a pair of boxers, I looked like the epitome of `white trash' compared to Ford who at eight in the morning on a Saturday was dressed in a pair of khakis and a wool argyle sweater matched with a pair of black loafers.
"So what's up?" I asked as we sat down at my kitchen table together.
"I wanted to apologize about last night," Ford said opening up the box of donuts. I grabbed a couple small plates in my kitchen cabinet and handed one to Ford so he could put his donut on it.
"You don't need to apologize to me," I replied taking a much needed sip of the coffee that he brought over. "Shouldn't you be talking to Benji?"
Ford scoffed and rolled his eyes, "I need a break from him."
"Why?" I asked. And then I gently added, "Because he's dating someone?"
"No," Ford replied a little too quickly. "Well, maybe a little bit. It's just not fair."
"What's not fair?" I asked as I browsed the various different donuts in the box before choosing the always reliable maple bar.
"It's not fair that a great guy can come to Benji and not me," Ford said. "He doesn't even appreciate dating and love."
I suddenly realized just how naïve Ford was about love, true love. "Ford, that's not how love works. You can't just say you want it and expect it to come to you."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Ford asked.
"I told you the other night after you broke up with Roland, remember?" I asked.
Ford shook his head, "I think I was in too much shock over talking to his wife on the phone."
"You can't go searching for love," I reminded him, "You have to let it find you."
"What if while I'm waiting for love, it passes me by?" Ford asked.
"It won't," I assured him.
"I just wish I could find my leading man," Ford sighed.
"You're leading man?" I asked, I couldn't be sure if I heard him correctly.
"Yeah, my leading man," Ford began to explain, "The one who will star with me in my very own romantic comedy."
I shouldn't have been surprised that Ford believed his love life should play out like that of a romantic film, it all made sense now. Since he never had a real serious relationship before, of course he would look to films as a learning source for the real thing. I had to tell him the truth on that type of thinking.
"Can I give you some advice?" I asked.
"What's that?" Ford asked taking a sip of his coffee.
"Throw out every cliché you see in those stupid romantic films," I said.
"They're not stupid!" Ford tried defending them.
"They are stupid," I argued right back. "Real life doesn't work the same way it does in all those Meg Ryan/Julia Roberts films."
"Yes it does," Ford said. "Look at Benji. The guy he's dating now took him on two perfect dates right out of one of those films."
"There's a difference between a date right out of a romantic film and a relationship right out of a romantic film," I pointed out. "Anyone can copy a date that they see in a movie, but you can't replicate a relationship right out of one. It's not possible. Real relationships are tough, so before you get into a serious one I want you to make sure that you know what you're getting."
Ford nodded, I wasn't sure if he truly understood what I was telling him or if he was only nodding because he wanted me to stop crushing his dreams on the perfect relationship. I knew though that if Ford didn't change his views on love that he would be in for a rude awakening when he saw what a real relationship was like.
While I was talking with Ford; Shane and Rich were cooking breakfast together waiting for Benji to arrive.
"Can you get me some bacon from the freezer?" Shane asked Rich.
"Bacon?" Rich asked. "You know that I don't eat bacon."
"You don't eat bacon?" Shane asked.
"No. I told you that remember?" Rich asked.
"I don't remember," Shane replied.
"Yeah. I don't eat food made from a pig," Rich said.
"I thought that was beef," Shane replied.
"I don't eat beef either. I also don't eat chicken," Rich said. "Don't you remember all this stuff?"
"Well you've told me a whole list of foods you don't eat. How am I supposed to remember it all?" Shane asked a little annoyed. "Is it okay that I'm cooking eggs?"
"Are they organic?" Rich asked.
"Rich, why don't you tell me this stuff before I start cooking?" Shane asked irritated. Shane has put up with a lot of Rich's quirks since they've been together and after a while it starts to get old. He loves Rich and cares about him, but there are things that he does that annoy him. It's not just his constant meditation and burning of incense and chanting. It's also his waking up at the crack of dawn to do yoga which wakes Shane up, it's the fact that Rich is so picky about what food he allows to enter his 'temple' and it's also the fact that sometimes he finds Rich to just be an extremely odd person. However, Shane tries to ignore this fact and just keep in mind that he really does love him, although sometimes it's hard to keep that in mind.
Before Rich could annoy Shane more, Benji arrived, Rich wanted to talk to Benji about his fight with Ford, even though Shane wanted to stay out of the line of fire.
"So do you feel more at peace today?" Rich asked as he drank some of his kava root tea.
"I'm fabulous," Benji replied. "Why?"
"Well last night during my aromatherapy and meditation I sent out some forgiving vibes your and Ford's way," Rich said proudly. "Can you feel it?"
"No," Benji replied, not bothering to humor Rich. "Is that why you invited me over? You two wanted to talk about him with me?"
"I don't," Shane said raising his arms as if Benji were holding a gun pointed at him. "I'm staying out of this."
"I wanted to talk to you about him," Rich said. "I don't want to see you two fight. It's bad vibes."
"Rich, my `vibes' are fine," Benji defended himself. "The only vibes I'm concerned with now are Scott's and I want his vibes all inside of me."
"Bad visual," Shane said shaking his head before taking a sip of his coffee.
"You know Ford didn't mean what he said," Rich tried reasoning.
"He needs a good dick up his ass," Benji quipped. "He's far too rigid right now."
"You two are best friends," Rich said. "Do you really want that bad energy around you guys?"
"I have no bad energy," Benji said. "I'm going to be seeing Scott tonight and hopefully get some more of his amazing dick, I have no reason to carry bad energy."
"Ford is more important to you than some guy's dick," Rich said.
"You obviously haven't seen it then," Benji smiled. "I'm drooling just thinking about it."
"You should just call Ford and smooth things over," Rich said.
"Why should I make the first move? He's the one who started it," Benji retorted.
"Are we twelve?" Shane asked after hearing Benji's immature response.
"I thought you were staying out of it?" Benji asked.
"You're right. Sorry," Shane replied.
"Just try talking to him. One of you has to be the bigger man," Rich said.
"I'm sorry I'm going to say something else," Shane began, "You weren't exactly sensitive towards his feelings either."
"What are you talking about?" Benji asked.
"He was really upset about Roland and you just kept telling him, 'I told you so.' Do you really think that was the best thing to say?" Shane asked.
"It's true though," Benji answered.
"Yeah, but we're his friends. It's our job to be supportive," Shane said. "And it isn't exactly Roland that Ford was upset over, it was the idea of what he was hoping to get from Roland."
"Yeah, yeah, his 'happily ever after.' I know," Benji nodded. He's heard this about Ford a million times.
"And what set Ford off last night was the fact that you are getting what he's been looking for," Rich added. "He's jealous."
"He's jealous of me?" Benji asked. He didn't expect to ever hear that Ford could possibly be jealous of him. Truth of the matter is that Benji has always been a little jealous of Ford. He knows that Ford is better looking than him, guys usually like him more, he's better off financially than him. He can't believe that Ford was possibly jealous of him now.
"Of course he is," Shane said. "You are the self-proclaimed `relationship hater' and now you're off dating some great guy. Of course Ford is jealous. You have what he's always wanted."
"Scott and I have only dated a couple times. I don't even know where it will lead," Benji said.
"Yeah, but you have the potential to get what Ford wants," Rich said. "So cut him some slack."
"It's interesting that Ford is jealous of me. I have to admit, I kind of like it," Benji half-joked.
Shane and Rich both just rolled their eyes at the comment.
Later that day, Shane and I met up for lunch at a trendy new little café that opened in downtown San Diego. We were sitting on their outdoor patio and just got our food served to us when we began to talk about things other than Ford and Benji.
"They're fight will work out eventually," Shane said. "Let's talk about something else."
"Good idea," I replied taking a bite of my club sandwich. "So how are things with you and Rich?"
"They're okay," Shane replied after he swallowed a bite of his salad.
"Just okay?" I asked curious if there was more to it than that.
"I'm trying to be easy going and not so judgmental," Shane said. "But sometimes his meditation and hippie way of thinking annoys the shit out of me."
"It's just one of his little quirks," I pointed out. "It's kind of charming I think."
"It started out charming, now it's just a little irritating," Shane said. "Last night he was trying to send out `good and forgiving' vibes to Benji and Ford. Who does that?!"
"It's his beliefs. He likes all that yin and yang stuff," I suggested. "Why is it annoying you now?"
"Because we've been together for about four months now and that's around the time my judgmental crap comes out and I usually dump the guy," Shane replied.
"Well, if you know that this is just your judgment crap then don't listen to it," I said.
"Easier said than done," Shane answered. "I swear, I would love to be more like Ford and get into the relationship stuff and romance crap, but I can't."
"So what are you saying?" I asked.
"I'm just saying that making a relationship last is tough for me," Shane replied.
"Wait, you're not thinking of breaking up with Rich, are you?" I asked.
"No, I just wish I could be in a relationship with someone that doesn't make me want to run," Shane replied. "I mean, isn't it a bad sign if I want to find a way out?"
"Yeah, but it sounds like it has more to do with your issues than your issues with him," I pointed out.
"It is and I know that," Shane said. "But shouldn't relationships be easier?"
"No relationships are easy," I replied. "They take a lot of work."
"I guess I always just imagined that when I was with the right guy, all my judgmental stuff would go away," Shane sighed.
"Naw, I just think you'll be screwed up for life," I joked putting my hand on Shane's. We both just laughed and smiled looking into each other's eyes.
"Maybe Rich just isn't the one for me," Shane suggested.
"Well, you're young still. If he's not then you still have plenty of time," I told him.
"I'm not young still. I'm twenty-nine. My twenties will be over this year," Shane pointed out.
"Same here, but I still consider myself young," I told him. "Don't worry. You'll find the right guy whether it's Rich or not."
Shane gave me a grateful smile and we both looked down realizing that our hands were still intertwined resting on the table.
That night, Benji set aside his anger towards Ford and wet on his date with Scott. The date started fairly simple; early dinner at a new Indian restaurant, dessert at a nearby bakery, but then it was followed by nice walk through Mission Trails Regional Park. Scott brought his camera with him and wanted to take some scenic pictures of San Diego to add to his portfolio. As they were walking around, Benji noticed how much differently he saw the park when he was with someone who stopped to appreciate and take pictures of the beauty surrounding him. It was as if he'd never been through this park before and even though Benji tried fighting it, he couldn't help but feel overjoyed that he was seeing this beauty with Scott. As soon as Benji realized he was starting to fall for Scott, he decided to fight off his feelings and resort to what he was more comfortable with. As they walked side by side, Benji put his hand in Scott's pocket and grabbed onto his
dick. Scott jumped and laughed.
"What are you doing?" Scott asked with a smirk.
"Just trying to add a little excitement to this walk," Benji replied devilishly. "How about we find a private area around here?"
"Outside? In public?" Scott asked.
"Why not?" Benji asked. "Live a little dangerously."
"It was my dangerous living that got me into trouble in the past," Scott replied.
"That was the past. This is now," Benji answered. "Come on."
"How about we walk a little more first?" Scott asked. "I really want to get some good shots for my portfolio. Aren't you having a good time?"
"Yeah, I'm just trying to have a great time," Benji said.
"Well let's just walk around a little more and then we can go back to my place. Deal?" Scott asked.
"Fine," Benji shrugged. He usually would be upset over being turned down for sex, but Benji realized that he was actually happy to continue to just walk around and be with Scott. This was a feeling that Benji was not used to and he didn't know how to deal with it. He was happy, but not for the reasons that usually made him happy. It was then that he understood what it was that Ford wanted and why he wanted it. That feeling of really liking someone does feel good. Benji smiled to himself realizing that maybe Ford was starting to rub off on him. His thoughts on Ford were soon interrupted by Scott.
"Here, let me take your picture in front of this tree," Scott said as he guided Benji into position. "This is a beautiful shot. The sun is setting perfectly behind you." Benji couldn't help but blush a little as Scott began taking a few pictures.
"Done?" Benji asked after he posed for a few shots.
"Yeah," Scott said taking Benji's hand in his, "Come on. Let's see what other shots we can get."
"Um, okay," Benji replied as he held onto Scott's hand.
Meanwhile, Ford was also walking through the park. He was walking alone to clear his head and think about what I had suggested earlier about not paying so much attention to romance in the movies. It was always Ford's basis for a good relationship and now he had to re-evaluate what it was that he wanted in love. As he was walking he spotted Benji and Scott together. Ford quickly hid behind a tree and poked his head out to spy on them a bit. He saw Scott take some pictures of Benji and then he saw the two of them snuggle close to each other and Scott held the camera in front of them and took a picture. They looked like the perfect couple to Ford. It was the very thing that Ford wanted in life. What surprised him however was the look on Benji's face as they walked together. Ford has never seen Benji so happy. Seeing that happiness in him made Ford smile to himself. He realized how stupid he was to get so upset at Benji for having what he wanted,
it was petty of him. He wants Benji to be happy.
And boy was Benji happy. That evening Scott took him back to his apartment as promised and the two instantly began kissing when they walked through the door.
"Oh my God," Benji sighed in pure ecstasy as he leaned his head back to let Scott kiss his neck.
"You're unfucking believable," Scott said between kisses.
"You're not so bad yourself," Benji quipped as he began to unbutton Scott's shirt to expose his well-built torso. When Benji grazed his hands over Scott's abs he licked his lips, "Yum."
The two stumbled their way into Scott's bedroom and had another night of great sex. Benji couldn't believe how amazing the sex was with Scott. He's had sex with plenty of other men, but none of them made him feel this good. He didn't want to admit that it was because feelings were involved this time.
The next day while Shane was eating breakfast he got a phone call from Rich.
"I've been picking up some negative vibes from you lately," Rich confessed over the phone. "Is everything okay?"
"Me and my vibes are great," Shane replied. He wanted when Rich talked about 'vibes.' He felt that it was bullshit.
"Are you sure? You know that you can talk to me about anything," Rich said.
"I know. Thanks," Shane replied softening up. "I just have a lot going on right now. I'll be fine though."
"Are we still on for dinner tonight?" Rich asked.
"Of course. I'll be at your place at seven. What are we having?" Shane asked.
"I'm going to try out this great tofu dish that I found online," Rich replied.
"Yum," Shane answered. Truth was that he hated tofu and has told Rich that numerous times, but clearly he forgot.
After Shane finished up talking to Rich on the phone he leaned back in his chair and thought about the conversation him and I had yesterday. He knows that Rich is a good guy, but what's making him so hesitant about their relationship now?
Over at Benji's store, Ford came in with some coffee and scones.
"Hi," Ford said sheepishly as he walked up to Benji at the cash register.
"Hello," Benji replied cooly.
"I just came to apologize," Ford said. "What I said was really awful."
"Yes, it was," Benji agreed.
"And I didn't mean it. I was just upset with my situation and I took it out on you," Ford explained. "I should have been happy that you found someone you like."
"Well I could have been more sympathetic to you," Benji shrugged.
"No, you were right. I completely jumped the gun on my relationship with Roland. I kept trying to make him the one when he obviously wasn't," Ford said. "I guess I'm just a little lost about what a good relationship is supposed to be."
"I understand," Benji smiled. "How about we just forget this whole stupid fight?"
"Sounds perfect," Ford replied. "How about some breakfast?" Ford handed Benji the bag of scones and a cup of coffee. "So I saw you in the park with Scott last night."
"You did?" Benji asked.
"Yeah, it looked like you two were having a great time," Ford replied.
"It was fine," Benji said.
"You looked really happy," Ford replied. "I definitely see this going somewhere."
"Oh please," Benji scoffed. "We've only dated a few times."
"But I saw it in his eyes," Ford replied. "He's falling for you."
"He is not," Benji waved it off, not wanting to believe it.
"We'll see," Ford smiled hopeful that maybe Benji could finally let go of his resistance and give in to love.
The two of them continued to talk and laugh together for the next couple hours. They both completely forgot the fight they had with one another.
While Ford and Benji resolved their fight and Shane fought with his inner cynicism, I relaxed in my apartment. I thought my fighting days were over. I have moved on with my new life and was ready to enjoy it, but then a feeling came blasting through me like a bolt of lightening. Suddenly I found myself thinking about yesterday when I was talking to Shane. There was a moment when we found ourselves holding each other's hand. Although I can't be sure, but I thought I saw something in Shane's eyes as we held one another. Were feelings started to unfold between us? I always just assumed that Shane would be my friend here and nothing more, but now I'm beginning to feel something else. It looks like my fighting has only just begun...
To Be Continued...
I decided to not have Luke be as central in this chapter as he is in the other ones in order to flesh out the other characters more. But don't worry, Luke will go back to being the central character. With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much!