I Thought I Knew

By Hardreader2000 (H.R.)

Published on May 5, 2009

Gay

Chapter 16 -- Part I From Billy's viewpoint

It seemed like every time I left Justin's house my fucking balls were drained, my cock exhausted and my brain in turmoil. That Wednesday night was no different.

Things had gone great until the phone rang and Jess started telling Justin about his dreams of "our future." Dreams were all they were.

When Jess finally hung up, Justin and I talked. He said I had to be honest with Jess. He said he couldn't respect me if I couldn't be honest with my best bud. I knew Justin was right, but that was going to be a really hard talk. If I told Jess that I was sure I was fucking gay, he'd immediately think he and I were going to be friends and lovers for eternity. He seemed to be on this huge romantic trip.

But telling him I was gay was going to be nothing compared to telling him I didn't fucking love him. And to explain that so he'd understand, I needed to tell him about Justin and me.

Justin agreed that he would be there when I explained things to Jess. Justin had helped us up until now and, even though things had taken an unexpected turn, he still thought he could help. I called Jess from Justin's room about an hour after he had called Justin. Of course, I didn't tell him where I was, or that I knew all about his call. I just told him I wanted to talk to him "about us." He wanted more fucking info right then and there, but I just kept saying, "Tomorrow. 7:30."

"I've got to get going," I finally told Justin, as I started to get up to gather my clothes.

"Not yet," he said and kissed me very tenderly on the lips, his tongue sliding into my mouth, his warm hands cupping my ass. "You need a shower before you go."

Of course, a shower is never just a shower for two horny guys in love. And at that moment I was starting to think that I was in love. And that Justin was, too. I could never say it. But I could think it. Even want it.

Justin turned the shower on nice and warm and we got in together. I washed his back and then his front. What the fuck! Of course, I paid special attention to all the spots I knew would turn him on and by the time I handed him the soap to do me, he was sporting a handsome hunk of wood.

He stood behind me. I'm sure his rock hard cock was drooling with excitement as he began lathering my chest, my pits and nips and finally worked his way down to my cock. By the time he got there, I was rock hard, too. After our just finished session, I wasn't ready to cum just yet, but I was thoroughly enjoying the feel of his soapy hand stroking up and down the full length of my hard dick as his other hand gently played with my nuts. I just leaned back into him and let him play.

I could feel his straining cock pressed up behind me and I knew he really wanted to fuck me right there in the shower. But I just wasn't ready for that. I let him rub his long, hard cock between my soaped-up ass cheeks. He was licking and nibbling at my ear and murmuring loving obscenities to me. I was getting really turned on, too. We were both really into it. He'd get real close to cumming and then we'd stop for a minute, his hot cock wedged tight between my buns. I'd squeeze my ass cheeks tight around his dick, feeling the flare of his cockhead and Justin would make a sound like gurgling deep in his chest.

"Don't tease me," he murmured more than once and each time I would reach back between my legs and stroke his nuts and my nuts gently with one hand. Our nuts were just hanging there together. Like good friends. I was loving it as much as he did. That action really got Justin cranked.

It was never long before Justin started humping away at my ass again. I was in heaven the whole time as Justin jacked me in time to his thrusts between my cheeks. Thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, thrust . . . Our slick warm skin pressed together. Sliding across one another. Against one another. The friction was causing lust sparks to fly. My cockhead was so swollen and hard and his soapy fingers kept sliding across its sensitive surface as he played my dick like a fine instrument. I was getting pretty fucking jiggy by this point.

Justin was getting really close and so was I. He pulled back just a little and I thought at first he was going to cum. I was ready to pop and I knew if he sprayed his cream all over my crack and back, I'd blow a wad to remember. But instead, I felt the head of his cock probing my asshole. Trying to find my secret entrance. Trying to get in. Trying to fuck me.

I wanted it as much as he did. He'd told me several times how he dreamed of having his hard cock sliding in and out of my tight ass. It sounded wonderful and, in many ways, my body ached to feel it. Feel Justin buried deep inside me. His hot nine-inch cock. Every hard inch of it buried in me. Burning me up. Fucking me. Ohhhhh! Did I ever want it! But I was scared, too. I really didn't know fuck about guy sex and something in me kept reminding me I wanted to take my time. To find out more about it before I took this plunge.

But I could feel the urgency in his probing. The need in his hands as they caressed my raging cock and balls. Involuntarily I moved my legs apart just a little more. I could feel the advance of his incredibly hard cockhead. It was pressing forward, but my ass muscles were still too taut. I tried to relax and pushed back against his cockhead as it began to pry its way into my waiting hole.

Then I heard him gasp and stiffen and with that he began to cum. I thought at first he must be in me. I didn't know how that would feel. How deep he might go. But then I felt his cum on my ass. Next it hit the back of my head. My back. He pushed his cock between my cheeks again and creamed all over my asshole again. I blew my load at last. Catching it in my hand so I could feed it to us, trying to keep the shower water from washing it away. Flexing my ass cheeks tight around Justin's spurting cock. Enjoying one more fabulous session of sex with Justin. Letting the warm water run over us as we both lapped my hot cum from the palm of my hand.

Lying on my bed after leaving Justin's that night, I just kept trying to figure things out. Some part of me still couldn't accept the idea that I was gay. Every time I tried to wrap my mind around that concept, the word "boyfriend" kept echoing in my head. Had I called Justin "my boyfriend" at some point this evening? Or had he called me his "boyfriend?" Or did one of us just use the word and it somehow got stuck in my head? I couldn't seem to quite remember who had said what to who. It seemed like a key piece of information I needed.

In some ways, being Justin's boyfriend would be wonderful. But when I tried to fit it into my life . . . the life I had been living for the past 18 years . . . it didn't fit. It didn't make sense. I loved being with Justin and the sex was great. But . . . the whole idea just didn't work.

Or did Justin say he wanted me as his boyfriend? That seemed sort of cool at one level. I mean, Justin is so cool, so hot, such a great all-round guy that if he thought I was boyfriend material, it meant that I was . . . What? Fucking hot, too? Or just queer? It brought me right back to where I started.

I wanted both my old life and this new life with Justin. But they didn't fit together. Not in my school. Not with my friends. Not with my folks. Not in this town.

If Justin and I could never be boyfriends, what was I telling Jess? You're my best bud, but I don't love you. I'd already told him that. Best buds but no sex? I'd told him that, too. But if Justin had heard Jess right on the phone, my so-called "date" had blotted all of those conversations from Jess' mind. Jess was in love. With me! Fuck. Gay love with Jess? That didn't make any more sense than being Justin's boyfriend. But god was I loving the sex and spending time with Justin. Just the two of us.

If I was gonna talk to Jess tomorrow, I was sure glad Justin was going to be there to help. I didn't have a clue what to say.

My mind was exhausted. I lay back on my bed and let my fingers go to work. As my fingers wrapped around my hardened cock, I flooded my mind with images of Justin and me doing just about everything. Jacking off. Rimming. Sucking. And fucking. Me fucking his sweet ass. Him plowing mine.

Despite its earlier exploits that evening, my cock seemed ready to give me one more blast. It was hard and hot in my hand as my mind conjured Justin's smiling face coming in for a landing on my cockhead. His lips were opening to let me into to that warm, slippery fuckhole in his face. Suddenly the twins were on either side of him. I'd never even met the twins, but, in my mind, there they were. Their hard cocks in hand, ready to cum. And so was I. I groaned. I tossed my shoulders back and forth and stiffened my legs. I beat my tired cock frantically and then at last my cum started to flow. It just poured from the tip of my cock down over my fingers, flooding my pubes and flowing over my balls.

I used both hands to scoop up what cum I could and rubbed it all over my cock. I rubbed stringy, thick, warm cum on my balls. I could feel where it had run down between my ass cheeks. I started to lube up my asshole with it, remembering the shower and how Justin had almost fucked me that night. But I was too tired to pursue that tonight. I drifted off to sleep. Asleep at home. Sleeping in my own bed. Sleeping in my own cum. The way my life had always been. Nothing changed.

At school the next afternoon between classes, I saw Jess heading toward the boy's room and I followed. It was crowded with guys taking a quick pee before classes started again. I pulled up to the urinal beside his and whipped it out to pee.

"Hi, Jess. I know I told you to come by about 7:30 tonight," I said calmly as I could, "but could you make it 6 instead? My folks are gonna be out tonight, so we can have a little privacy at my place for a change."

He beamed and said in a whisper, "I'm ready now, if you are."

"Whoa, cowboy. Let's keep it at 6."

I saw Jess look all around. I looked to see what he was checking out and realized that the place had completely emptied out. Everyone had rushed to make their next class. We were alone. As I stuffed my cock back in my jeans, Jess turned towards me. He was going to kiss me. He hadn't even put his own cock back in is pants.

I pulled back and said, "Later. Keep that for later. You don't want to get caught with your dick out here. I'll see you at my place at 6. The door will be open. Just let yourself in and come on up to my room."

He leaned toward me as if to try to kiss me again and I stepped back. "Later," I said more firmly and turned to go. I wanted to wash my hands so bad just then, but I wanted to escape even more. I didn't feel good about what I had just done, but I didn't see another way out. Everything seemed to be spinning out of control.

To Be Continued . . .

AUTHOR"S NOTE: The names and some other identifying information in this story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere without the permission of the author. I would love to receive comments on this story from readers at hardreader2000@aol.com

Next: Chapter 19


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