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YOU'RE ON THE LIST
By MJ Mclean
I saw him through the restaurant window, perched on a stool at the bar, sipping from a highball glass and scrolling through his phone. Hehad loosened his tie and shucked his jacket. He wore tight dress pants that seemed to trace every curve of his thighs and ass.
He put the glass down and ran his hand through his darkhair. He shifted on the stool, exposing more of his crotch. I felt my cock stiras I stared at the bulge. My breath quickened. My vision clouded, grew hazy.
Fuck it. I had fogged up the window in the chill night air.I almost reached up to wipe it away, but Rafa looked up and spotted me. Hesmiled. My knees wavered and more blood rushed to my cock.
I raised my hand awkwardly, then pointed toward their door,motioning like an idiot. He laughed and nodded. I found the door, nodding atthe host and jostling other patrons gathered by the bar.
"Scotty!" Rafa stood and wrapped his arms around me. As wehugged, another patron bumped me, pushing me closer in. My crotch rubbedagainst Rafa's. I tried to pull back, but couldn't help wondering if I'd feltsomething similar in the momentary contact.
"Rafa, you made it," I said. "I mean, obviously you madeit." I tried not to sound as frazzled as I felt. "I wish you'd let me pick youup at the airport, buddy."
"Company sent me a car, dude," he said. "Nice one, too. Youguys must be doing OK."
"I wouldn't be trying to get you here if we weren't.." Rafawas interviewing for a job with my company, a good job, one I was pretty surehe'd get. I had smoothed the way and talked him up with the bosses. "You'regonna knock this one out of the park."
"I hope so, Scott. I really want this one. Danny too." Heabsently twisted the ring on his left hand and I felt my cock deflate a little."We need a new start." His smile faded a little.
Before I could ask more, the host waved menus and led us toa table. We ordered drinks and tapas.
"So you start early tomorrow, right? What can I tell you?Have any questions about the -- "
"Stop, stop, Scotty, you've told me more than I'll everremember. I read your emails and studied the bios. Fuck, dude, the bios read likespy dossiers. I feel like I know everything about the bosses except what theylike in underwear."
"I can't tell you about Laura, but Ryan, the social mediaguy, sometimes goes commando." I winked.
"Scott, how ... "
"Company has a gym, remember?"
His phone buzzed. He looked at the screen "Gotta get this,"he said. He swiped the screen. "Rafael Ortiz." He listened. "Yes, Moira, I leftthat on the H drive, it's all there. Moira just ... yes, that folder. Listen, canthis wait? I'm at dinner with a friend." He listened again. "Fine, fine, we'lltalk later." He ended the call.
He sipped his drink and picked up a bacon-wrapped date."Fuck, they're morons sometime. I so need something new." He ate another dateand looked at me. "So Scotty, anyone in your life now? Hot new boyfriend? Whowas that on Facebook over and over, Miguel? Daniel?"
"Miguel," I said. "He's ... we're not together. Daniel wasbefore him. I'm ... I'm a free man right now."
I drained the gin and tonic and motioned for another. Itried to think of another subject. Instead, I did what I always did with Rafaand poured out my troubles, my bad luck with men. He listened patiently. Itried not to seem too pathetic, laughing off each break-up, but I knew how itsounded.
His phone rang again. He glanced down and his facetightened. "Danny.. I gotta take this."
He excused himself and walked to the back of the room, nearand old payphone alcove.
Rafa and I had worked together at the same company sevenyears earlier, in another city. I'd landed a job in a new city and Rafa landeda husband, an artist named Danny, who had a thriving clientele in the old city.In recent years, he'd begun to struggle and wanted to move as much as Rafa.
I tried not to think about Danny. I knew him, had met himand I hated him. No, that's not quite true, I didn't hate him, I was insanely jealous. He had Rafa. I had let him go, stupidly.
Rafa and I met at work and became fast friends. I developeda huge crush on him and nearly took him to bed one night after a concert, untilhe admitted he was living his a boyfriend. They were having a hard go of it andinstead of getting naked with Rafa, I let him cry his eyes out.
After that, all I could do was lust after him. I couldn't bethe reason behind their break-up. I wouldn't. More than once, Rafa hinted thathe was open to an affair, but I would always send him back to his boyfriend.
They broke up finally and I comforted Rafa. He spent thenight in my bed with me, clinging to me as he sobbed. We cuddled and I fought my attraction. Just a few more days, I told myself that night. Just a few moredays, I repeated the next day in the shower, jerking off to fantasies of Rafayet again.
I watched Rafa walk across the room. His dark hair framedfine, angular features, brown eyes, a hint of a late-day shadow that I knewprobably was at least two days old. Underneath his suit, he was lean andmuscular, his light brown skin smooth.
He saw me staring and smirked. "Scotty, you were checking meout, you perv." He slid into the half-moon banquette and edged closer than hehad before. I could feel his leg against mine. I gulped my drink and signaledfor another.
"Everything OK at home?"
He shifted in the seat and twisted his ring. "It's fine.Danny was just checking in. He's so nervous about this interview. He's ... thingsaren't going well for him there and he thinks this is the way out of his troubles. I hope it is." He sighed.
"Same question," I said. "Everything OK at home?"
He looked at me. "We're fine. You know how it is, six years,we know how to push each other's buttons. And not always in a good way." Hetried to smirk, but couldn't pull it off. When the waiter brought my drink, heasked for a refill. "He's excited about the move. He always liked you, youknow. Thinks it'll be a hoot, us living in the same city."
He liked me? I thought. Really? Maybe because he won.
The food arrived and we ate, chatting about the old days. Ifelt the buzz deepen as I drained another gin and tonic. Rafa fell silent. Hehad edged closer again and I could feel the warmth from his leg and thighagainst mine.
I looked at Rafa and before I could stop myself, I blurtedout: "Goddammit, Rafa, why did I let you go?" I'd intended the question tosound like a joke, but it came out desperate.
He looked surprised, but recovered quickly. "I don't know,Scotty, why did you? You had a chance, you know. More than one."
"You know why," I said quietly. "Jake." I almost spat thename.
"We were half broken-up the whole time I knew you," he said..I could hear an edge in his voice I hadn't wanted to bring out. "That firstnight, at the concert. I'd have fucked you silly if you'd made your move then."
It was one of the first times we'd gone out on the town. Aconcert, in a tiny club, tiny tables We were squished into a cramped space,hemmed in my friends.
"You spent the whole night humping my leg," he said. "I wassure I was going to get lucky."
My face reddened. "I did not hump your leg Rafa."
"Fine, maybe not humped. But you were right up against melike this -- " he moved closer and rubbed his leg on mine -- "and you tried toplay footsie. You were wearing those skater shoes and you took them off and didthis." He slipped his own loafer off and ran his foot against my ankle."
I almost whimpered. Beneath the table, inside my suit, I wasgrowing harder. Rafa had to know it.
"We were in the backseat of Mike's car, squished against thedoor," I said. "I was going to make a move. I was so turned on and I wanted youand then ... the phone rang."
"Jake," Rafa said. This time, he spit the name out. "Hewanted to know why I was so late."
"Kind of a boner killer, Rafa," I said.
"I was pissed when you dropped me off that night," he said."Pissed at Jake." He leaned closer and whispered. "I locked myself in thebathroom and jerked off in the shower. Jake was asleep in the next room, theboring little fuck. I shot so hard for you, Scotty."
I felt the heat envelop my body. "Fuck, I did, too, Rafa, and... and ... not just ... that night."
He looked at me. "A lot," I whispered. "God, so many times."I couldn't believe I was confessing this. "I wanted to you, Rafa, but Icouldn't. And then ... I got the job and I panicked and took it instead ofdealing with ... with us." My eyes started to fill with tears.
This time, I excused myself to go to the restroom. I knew myerection would be obvious, but trying to cover it would make the situationworse, so I moved quickly away. When I returned, the waiter had brought coffee.
I slide into the banquette and Rafa took my hand. "You OK,Scotty?" I nodded. I looked at my watch.
"We should get you back to the hotel. Big day tomorrow." Ipaid the check on a company card and tapped my phone for an Uber. We walkedoutside.
As we stood in the cold night, Rafa leaned into me. "We havea list you know," he said. "And you're on it."
"What are you talking about?" I said.
"You know, a list of guys we can fuck in the right ...situation. Free passes. You know." He nudged my hip with his.
"Usually, the lists are famous people. Movie stars. Not oldboyfr-- old friends. The point of the list is you'll never get a chance to doit."
"Well, ours are different. We have mostly famous guys. I gota couple of Chrises -- Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth -- and that guy from Kingsman,Taron whatsisname. Yum." He swatted my ass. "And you."
I looked at him and felt my cock grow again. "So you'resaying we could fuck tonight and it'd be legal. Just like that. No rules oranything."
He looked around on the street and in the sky. "Well ... itwould kinda help if there were a zombie attack or an asteroid headed this way..But ... well, it's been a while ... "
He looked away. "A while? We never did anyth -- " I stopped."Fuck, sorry, you mean with ... "
Our car pulled up. I made sure the driver had the hoteladdress. We slid into the backseat. Rafa sat close and leaned on my shoulder,quiet.
It was like that night all those years ago. I knew I couldand I knew I shouldn't. But the list.
"Is that list legit, Rafa? I mean, I'm on it?" I felt himnod. He took my hand in his and moved it to his crotch. He was as hard as Iwas. "Rafa, you guys are married. I can't -- "
"Scotty, you don't get second chances often. And I swear... "He pulled his phone out and flicked through some notes. He showed me one. ThereI was, with the Chrises and Taron. And I was on top.
"Wait, Channing Tatum, too?" I tried to act insulted. Hepulled the phone back, then leaned over, about to brush his lips against mine.His phone buzzed and he glanced at it. His face fell. He tapped it.
"Danny, what is it?" He listened. "It's fine, I can coverthat. I'll log on when I get to the hotel. They won't shut off your phone, Ipromise."
They talked. I sighed. Boner killer.
The car stopped in front of Rafa's hotel. Rafa looked at me,crestfallen. He leaned over and kissed me lightly.
"Good luck tomorrow, Rafa. I know you'll do well."
His eyes welled with tears and he climbed out of the car andhurried into the hotel.
At home, I showered and climbed into bed, frustrated by theevening, reliving not just this night, but four years' worth of days and nightsfrom another lifetime ago. I kept seeing Rafa, kept remembering nights when wecould have ... when I should have.
I stroked my cock thinking of him, of his smooth skin andkissable lips and sweet round ass. I got hard in a hurry and reached for alittle lube, intending to make this one a good one. As I did, my phone buzzed.
Shit, not again. No, not this time. Except I could see fromthe screen from the bed. It was Rafa. I swiped it.
"Are you naked?" he asked, his voice husky. "Because I am. Iknow what you're doing, Scotty. I wanna hear you do it."
I didn't know what to say. "C'mon, Scotty, do it for me. Iwant to hear what you used to do after you'd go home at nights." He moanedsoftly and I could hear bedcovers moving.
"God, Rafa, I'm so hard here," I said in a whisper. "Are yousure this -- "
"Shhhh, Scotty, don't say anything. Just ... just do it forme."
I switched the phone to speaker and set it beside me. I puta little lube on my cock and started to stroke it. I described what I was doingand I heard Rafa moan again. I tried not to think what this meant. Think of thelist, I told myself. The fucking list. I chuckled. The fucking fucking list.
"What's funny? C'mon, Scotty, this is supposed to be hot."
"Oh, it's hot, Rafa, knowing you're naked, knowing you'renaked and hard and ... " I tugged on my balls with one hand, then let my fingersdrift back toward my ass. I told Rafa what I was doing. He grunted.
"I'm running my hands across my chest, twisting a nipple ... "he panted a little as he talked. "Mmmm, wishing your tongue was there.... yourmouth on my nipple ... on my lips ... on my ... wishing you were here now, Scotty ..."
I stroked and felt the precum start to leak from my cock. Iscooped some on a finger and sucked the finger. I told Rafa what I did. I couldhear the sheets rustle. I stroked my cock and bucked on the bed as I rubbed myass.
"C'mon, Scotty, I wanna hear you come for me, baby, please."He whispered. "Please."
My hand moved faster and finally I felt my balls tighten andmy cock stiffen.. I cried out as I began to shoot, cum spurting onto my chestand stomach. I moaned and allowed the orgasm to subside. I lay on the bed,spent.
"Thank you, Scotty. Now go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."The call ended. I hadn't heard Rafa come. I didn't know if he had. I imaginedhis own orgasm, but in silence. I cleaned up and crawled into bed. As I driftedoff, I wondered if Rafa would ever land a Chris.
X X X
TWO MONTHS LATER
Rafa and Danny found an apartment about a mile from mine.Rafa settled into the new job like it was made for him. Danny found anopportunity with another artist and decided to try some commercial work. Hefound he liked it. They both seemed happy when we would meet for drinks ortapas.
And I found I liked Danny. He was cute, if you liked guyswho looked a little more like Channing Tatum than Rafa would admit. In tightjeans, he was even kind of hot. And Rafa was right. He seemed to like me. If hehad any hint of what Rafa and I did that night on the phone or how I felt abouthim all those years past, he never let on.
I tried not to think about that night. I hooked up with aguy here and there, but it was just sex and usually not great sex. I wasn'treally lonely. I had friends at work and Rafa and I would stop for drinks oneor two nights a week after work, but it always felt awkward.
Finally, they invited me to dinner, said they wanted to showoff their apartment and thank me properly for helping them make the big move.
I arrived at the apartment with a bottle of good wine. Rafaanswered, dressed in a burgundy cashmeresweater and soft gray jeans. He hugged me, kissed me on the lips. He took thewine.
Danny was putting something in the oven. As he leaned over,I noticed how his snug black slacks clung to his ass. I must have been staring.Rafa nudged me.
"He wears those well, doesn't he, Scotty," he whispered andpatted my ass. My face reddened as Danny turned, smiling. He wore a silk v-neckcrew. I noticed both were barefoot.
"Welcome to our humble home, Scott," Danny said. He huggedme and brushed his lips on mine. I tried not to notice the swelling in hiscrotch.
Rafa poured wine in three glasses and we moved to the livingroom. A circular sectional dominated the center of the room, black, leathery.Pillows were tossed haphazardly. Rafa directed me to a spot in the center, thenhe settled on to one side of me and Danny to the other.
We toasted with the wine and made small talk for a fewminutes. I couldn't help notice both Rafa and Danny were sliding closer to me,almost imperceptibly at first, but impossible to ignore when they each put anarm across the back of the sofa behind my head.
They linked fingers for a moment, then Rafa let his handmove toward me. He played with my hair a little and let a finger dance acrossmy neck.
I shifted nervously, sure I was imagining it. Danny put ahand on my shoulder and moved a little closer still.
"We're so grateful you helped us, you know, Scotty," hesaid, running his hand along my shoulder and down my arm. "It's meant to muchto ... " he reached around me to take Rafa's other hand. "... both of us."
Rafa ran his hand down my neck and let it slide beneath mysweater, until his hand was on the bare skin of my shoulder. "We felt we shouldreally ... thank you." He took his other hand from Danny and began to caress mychest, finding a nipple beneath my sweater. He tweaked it. I jumped a little.
"Um, guys ... what's ... what's happening?" My voice was raspy,nervous. "This is ... I mean, I'm ... "
"Enjoying it?" Danny said. He ran hand across my crotch,where my cock had begun to harden. "I'd say you are." He squeezed and my cockresponded.
Rafa leaned over and pulled Danny close. They kissed eachother, then both moved toward me. I felt their lips meet mine, then each othersagain. I felt their tongues dart out to meet each other, then brush across mylips. Rafa pushed his tongue between my lips and Danny did the same.
I moaned. "There it is," Rafa said. "I told you he moans."
My eyes widened. "It's OK," Rafa said. "I told him about our... little call."
"Yeah," Danny said, his tongue tracing a path to my ear. "Hetold me all about the call. We had a ... a nice time afterward, reliving thedetails." He squeezed my cock.
"Remember, you're on my list," Rafa said. He pushed a handdown my sweater and began to twist a nipple. I moaned. "I loved that moan somuch," he said.
"The list," I repeated.
"You doubted him?" Danny said. "Oh, it's real." The two ofthem took the bottom of my sweater and pulled it over my head. Danny attackedone nipple, Rafa the other.
I threw my head back and felt their mouths suck and tug onmy nipples. I put a hand on each of their heads and ran my fingers throughtheir hair. I kicked off my shoes and used my feet to peel off my socks.
Rafa eased up and pulled his own sweater off, exposing hissmooth, taut chest. Danny pulled his tee over his head. He was as smooth as meand Rafa. I reached up and rubbed their naked chests and pulled them both backfor more kisses.
We made out, our tongues in and out of each other's mouths,lips merging in the heat. They both sat up and reached for my belt. Theyunbuckled it and undid my jeans, pulling them off. I sat sprawled on the couchin black briefs, my cock straining against the material.
Rafa reached down and began to squeeze the bulge, pulling myhand up to his. He was clearly as hard as I was. I struggled with his pants,lowering the zipper. Danny was waiting and pulled them off, leaving Rafa intight blue briefs.
I pulled him toward me and he could see what I wanted. Hestraddled me, legs spread as he slid his crotch toward mine. He thrust into me,our sheathed cocks throbbing. He kissed me, deeply.
Danny undid his own belt and let his slacks fall to thefloor. He wasn't wearing underwear.
"Goddamn, dude, commando, huh?" I almost whispered as I tookin his cock. He was uncut and he was most of the way hard. His hair was trimmedclose and the effect was hot. He stroked his cock and it lengthened. Rafalooked up at Danny.
"Nice, huh, Scotty?"
I could only grunt. Rafa pulled off his briefs and I was somesmerized by Danny's cock, I almost missed the big reveal. Rafa was uncut. Hisbush was a little longer than Danny's, but still trimmed into a nice shape thatframed Rafa's beautiful cock. He was at full mast, I think, but I wasn't thinkingabout that as I pulled him toward me. Rafa rose up onto his knees and I sliddown until I could ease his cock toward my mouth..
I began to lick Rafa's cock and I heard Danny gruntapprovingly, stroking his own. I let Rafa's cock slide on to my tongue andwrapped my lips around the top. I used my tongue to push beneath his skin. Rafamoaned this time. I played with his balls as I slowly took his length into mymouth.
I sucked and licked and squeezed Rafa's ass as I pulled himinto me. Suddenly, I felt something wet and hard on my neck. I snuck a look.Danny had walked around the sectional and was behind me, rubbing his cock on myneck.
As I sucked on Rafa's cock, Rafa leaned forward and began tolick Danny's. I felt my cock throb as I sucked Rafa and he worked on Danny.. Iused one finger to rub the sensitive area behind Rafa's cock and I heard himgrunt.
I felt Danny move again. Rafa pulled himself up to his feet,still straddling me on the leather couch. He turned around and lowered his assto my face. I growled and reached for him, pulling his cheeks apart as I beganto lick his hole.
I felt hot breath on my cock and could see Danny on hisknees, easing himself onto my length. I pushed my tongue into Rafa's hole andsucked. With one hand, I reached around and began to stroke his cock. Dannytook my cock down his throat and used his tongue in ways that made me shiver.
My cock throbbed and I made a noise to get Danny to stop. Iwasn't ready to come yet. Danny understood. He stood, his hard cock bobbing ashe found a basket on the floor. He reached in and came back with a condom andlube. He knelt again and opened a wrapper. He unrolled a condom onto my cock.
I looked at him. This was getting intimate. I raised myeyebrows, as if to say, Are you sure? He nodded. Rafa climbed off the couch andcrawled into the wider section at the end. He got up on all fours and wiggledhis ass at me.
I squirted lube on my cock, then on a finger and worked itinto Rafa's ass, already loosened after my mouth work. He moaned for me and Iput my sheathed cock against his ass and eased it in, slowly. Behind me, Iheard Danny grunt.
As my cock slipped into Rafa's ass, I felt Danny move closerfrom behind. He began to play with my asshole. His finger was slick with lubeand he played with my hole until I relaxed and let the finger in.
I was all the way in Rafa and I began to thrust, looking fora slow rhythm. I held onto his hips and began to fuck, pulling my cock almostout, then pushing it in, hearing the skin slap at contact.
Behind me, Danny had his finger in me and was teasing myprostate. I concentrated on my rhythm, but it wasn't easy. Danny added a secondfinger and I felt a slight sting, then relaxed as he worked my hole.
"C'mon, a little faster, Scotty, a little harder," Rafasaid. I complied and he rewarded me with a moan. I heard Danny stir behind meand then felt something big and hard and slick against my ass. Danny hadrubbered up and was about to slide into me.
I braced myself. I hadn't been fucked in a while. I pausedin my thrusts and felt Danny push past the hole. I winced and cried out alittle. He paused and let me relax, then pushed his cock farther into me.Finally, I felt it slide the rest of the way.
We tried to find the right rhythm, so I could fuck Rafa asDanny fucked me, but it didn't matter for long. As I felt Danny's cock rub myprostate and heard Rafa cry my name out, I lost my control.
With my own cry, I began to shoot. I was allthe way in Rafa's ass and I clenched against Danny's cock as I shot. Rafa camesecond later.. He wasn't touching his cock. He just began to come, the stickyropes spurting onto the leather sectional.
Danny thrust a few more times, then erupted himself. I felthis cock throb within me as he filled the condom.
We tried to untangle ourselves, but it wasn't easy. We weresweaty and Rafa had come on his legs and hands where he'd caught his balance.
Danny pulled a towel from the basket and wiped Rafa off. Wecollapsed onto the floor. Rafa wrapped himself around me on one side and Dannytook us both in his arms.
We had to shower individually. The apartment was nice, butnot that nice. Danny poured more wine and checked on dinner.
"Good rule," he said as he pulled plates from the cupboard."Fuck first, eat after."
I was on a stool near the counter and Rafa was draped aroundme, kissing me occasionally. Danny didn't seem to mind. He stole a kiss fromboth of us as he walked around to the table.
"So this list you guys have," I began. "Is this how you'llhandle everyone both lists? The Chrises? Taron whatsisname? Whoever's onDanny's list?"
Rafa laughed. "You're the first. If we get a Chris, you'reinvited to the party for sure."
Danny walked up to us. He kissed Rafa and then me, suckingon my lips a little.
"Besides," he said. "We've checked off the regular guy spoton both our lists. We're probably good to go."
"Both your lists?" I said. "Um, I mean, who... "
"You," Rafa said. "It's you."
I looked at Danny.
"Yep," he said. "You were on my list too."