CHAPTER 4
I was kneeling alongside my friend, my lover, my love. I cradled his head in my arms, blood soaking my shirt, my arms, my face, matting my hair as I pressed my head against his. Tears streamed down my face in a torrent of anguish and guilt. If I hadn't been so careless Scott wouldn't be here now! I rocked back and forth, holding his body tight, so that my body heat, my tears, my heartbeat, would keep him alive.
Firm hands pulled at me. I tried to resist, but I was numb, and could do nothing as I was pulled away. I could hear sirens, but to me they sounded distant. In fact, suddenly I could hear nothing. I looked blankly from face to face, saw mouths moving, but hearing nothing. Two faces looked familiar, but I couldn't recall why. Where was I? What was going on? I saw a body in the road and two people crouched next to it. What had happened? Who were these people? Colours shifted and blurred into a kaleidoscope and the world spun and twisted. I was falling, falling, and then I was lying on my back, staring at the sky. Blurred images appeared before me, then a shroud of darkness took me into its blissful embrace.
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The darkness was still there, but words filtered through. "...from shock...sedative...a prescription for you...can take him home...warm...suffer...trauma...number...psychiatrist."
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The sky was overcast, the ground wet from the recent deluge which paled in comparison to the downpour from my eyes, my soul, my heart. We were all there, Scott's parents, clothed in black, as were us all, his mom dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. My folks, standing just behind me. Some classmates, some teachers, and of course the priest, mumbling his prayers and blessings which were FUCKING USELESS COS THEY WOULDN'T FUCKING BRING SCOTT BACK TO ME!
As the coffin sank into the grave I stepped forward and fell to my knees, staring into the grave, unseeing, tears blinding me to all but the memory of my one, true love.
Lightning sheared across the sky and I raised my head as thunder rolled, adding my cry of loss and despair to it, a wild cry of pure emotion, pure anguish, rippling out from the depths of my being to explode from my mouth in a seemingly unending torrent!
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Then the darkness was back. No, there were stars in the darkness, and a window, curtains, familiar surroundings. I was in bed, at home. A dream! A goddamn dream!
I flung off the covers and got up, needing to pee real bad. My head swam and I collapsed heavily to the floor. The door flung open and light flooded the room. I tried to rise but promptly fell over again. Then there were arms picking me up, my dad's scent.
"Toilet," I managed to whisper.
I was carried to the bathroom and held upright as I tried to focus on the toilet bowel. When I had relieved myself, I was picked up gently and taken back to my room, put in my bed and the covers pulled over me. I looked up at my dad, and my mom standing behind him.
"It's ok," I said. "Just a bit dizzy is all. Had this bad dream, too."
Then I saw the look in their eyes, the glance they shared before looking back at me. "Son..." my dad began, but got no further.
And the realization hit me like a freight train. Not a dream at all! It was real, it had happened. Oh, dear God, no! My eyes brimmed with tears and I broke down and cried my heart out. My dad hugged me to him, and then my mom's arms were around me as well. All I could do was cry until my throat hurt, and the tears dried up and the sobs turned to sniffles.
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I must have fallen asleep against them, because I woke up the next morning. And with waking came the pain, deep and sharp, and I buried my head into my pillow and cried.
My door must have been open a crack, as my dad's voice carried in from somewhere in the house.
"That's right. Cory will not be going to school today. Yes, yes, that's right. I don't know. They were very close. He's suffering from shock and emotional trauma, according to the doctors. Thank you. I will."
The door opened a few moments later and my dad's head peaked in. "Ah, you're awake. The headmaster says your class is thinking about you and Scott."
I turned my head away, staring through tear filled eyes at the far wall. I couldn't look at him. I wanted him to go away, to be replaced by Scott. But that wasn't going to happen now. Now that... "I suppose you're happy now, now that he's dead. Now you won't have to worry about us being together." The venom in those words alone could have killed off half the world's population.
He sat down next to me, placed a hand on my shoulder. I pulled away from his touch. I looked him in the eyes then, and saw the pain in them my action had caused. His face saddened, but I didn't care. The most important person in my life was gone, and it was on his head, and my mom's, and Scott's parent's. I didn't give a damn about what I was thinking. I knew my gaze were daggers slicing into my dad's heart, but I didn't care. Let him feel the pain of loss! He'll lose his son as well. Not to death, though. I'd live, but my parents... What parents? I had none!
"Scott's not dead, Cory."
I spun my head around, the words pulling my mind from dark and vengeful thoughts to incredulity. He smiled at me. "He's in hospital, with a couple of broken bones and a head wound. He was very lucky, son. He is alive, and in a stable condition."
Was this some joke? Some sick, twisted joke at my expense. "But... all the blood! The funeral!"
"Funeral?" my dad frowned, then he reached out to touch me, but suddenly stopped, uncertain. "There has been no funeral. That must have been a dream, son. As for the blood, head wounds bleed a lot. In this case it looked more serious than it really was. Come on, get dressed. I'll take you to the hospital to see him."
"What! But...but we...we are...but why? You hate him. And me! You're going to keep us apart." This was confusing. Why would he allow me to see Scott again?
A tear formed in his one eye and he got up quickly and proceeded to leave the room "Get dressed. We'll talk later."
My pulse was racing. Scott was alive. Scott was ALIVE! I wanted to scream it out to the world. It was like a mini super-nova exploding in my chest. I felt afire with relief and happiness, all thoughts of us being separated dissolving in that moment of sheer glory! I whipped aside the sheets and clambered into my clothes in record time, and was running down the passage when hands clamped down on my shoulders and pulled me to a halt.
"Eat some breakfast first, Cory." My dad ushered me over to the table, where my mom set aside the glass of orange juice and hugged me tight. I returned the hug, the only thing on my mind the fact that Scott lived! When I pulled away I only picked at the food in grim silence, partly from wanting my folks to suffer, and partly from being unable to eat anything from anticipation. My mom didn't pay attention, but my dad knew from the experience in my room just now why I was keeping so aloof, and he just stared out the window.
After breakfast I was driven to the hospital accompanied by both my folks. The drive was way too long, each traffic light annoying me, keeping me away from Scott. I wanted to jump out at those red lights and walk, hell, run the rest of the way!
We were met at the hospital by Scott's mom and dad. The looks in their eyes were of joy and relief, and upon seeing me, of concern. My dad and Scotts shook hands, sharing a glance into which I could read only this: that a decision had been made and the time of reckoning was now, here, at the hospital, after I had seen Scott.
Then I remembered that word I shouted, and was deeply ashamed. I don't know why I was, but I realized now that Scott's folks must have been shattered as well when we saw him in the road. He was still their son, after all!
I positioned myself so that I was facing all four adults, and looking them in the eyes said: "I'm very sorry for what I said yesterday." And then I hung my head, waiting for the angry retorts.
A hand fell on my shoulder and I flinched. I looked up fearfully into the eyes of Scott's dad. "Don't worry about that, Cory. The situation was...difficult."
Looking over at my parents, I saw pride in their eyes.
"Scott's over here," his mom said, and took me along the passage to his room. "We...we'll wait out here for you."
Scott was looking out the window. When I entered he looked at me and a broad smile crossed his face. I ran over to him and sat down on the bed. He pulled himself into a sitting position and opened his arms, into which I gratefully fell. The embrace we shared had the warmth of a thousand suns! To have him in my arms again was wonderful! We both started crying at the same time. Jeez, what was with me and these damn waterworks?
"Scott, when I...when I thought you were dead my world collapsed," I choked. "I'm so glad you're alive!"
"Same here, bro. I don't know how you felt, but if it's anything like what I was feeling lying here, believing that we would never see each other again..."
Our embrace tightened.
"Why did you do it?" I growled, suddenly angry with him.
"Hey, Cory, I didn't see the car. I was crying and I ran across the road and...and then I woke up here. I didn't mean to get knocked over!"
"I was so frightened, so alone! I don't want to let you go, in case we never see each other again." I kissed him then, just lightly. "I want you to know, Scott, that you are the only guy I'll ever love. If my folks don't like it that I'm gay, then tough shit. My life is not their's to lead. It is mine, and I want to be with you, I want to love you, always. I'll rather die than think of being with anyone else." My tears had stopped, my voice strong and filled with purpose.
Scott stared me in the eyes and hugged me tight. "Thank you, Cory. Thank you! In you I have found not only a friend, but my one love as well! You and I are meant to be, Cory. We are! Even when we're moved apart, remember that it will only be for another two years or so. Then we can find each other again and be together. I will wait for you for as long as it takes."
"And I for you!"
Then we kissed again, deeply, holding it for many seconds, drinking in each other's scent and taste and feel, each other's body heat, the way we felt when embracing, the memories of our lovemaking. This damn cute, adorable guy I had grown to admire and love was even more amazing to behold this morning, the situation banishing everything but our true feelings for one another. The world merged into this one moment. This would be the last time, at least for a while, that we would be together, I was sure of that, we were sure of that, and we wanted to make it last.
I glanced over at the door after we pulled apart, and saw it closed. There was no one else in the room. Moving my hand under the sheets I slid it inside his hospital gown, inside his underpants, and started stroking him. He smiled broadly and lay there, basking in the throbbing heat surging from his groin. This would be risky, but for this last chance I was going to do it. I whispered to him to tell me when he was about to cum. I didn't wait long. Then I knelt next to the bed and pushed my head under the sheets, which he raised for me. I guided his shaft into my mouth and sucked on him, swallowing the warm spunk that spurted over my tongue and dribbled down my throat a moment later. I squeezed the last cum out of him and licked him clean, then sat next to him again, my cock hard beneath my jeans.
Scott's eyes went to me groin but the door opened then and our parents walked in, shutting the door behind them. Ah, the moment of finality. We locked gazes, and read in each other the depth of sadness, then faced our parents and awaited their words.
"This has been a great shock to us," Scott's dad began. "When John here told me about the photograph, and the underwear, we found similar proof at home. We couldn't believe our son was...gay."
"When we were in the woods," my dad took over, " we both saw how you acted and behaved, and to us it was what every normal kid would behave. Even at home you showed no signs of being different."
"We realized, after talking last night, and after overhearing you two speaking now from outside," my mom said, "that you know what you were talking about. The depth of your feelings is astonishing."
"We've come to understand that the only difference between you two and other boys is that you are attracted to other boys instead of girls. You didn't know we were listening in on your conversation, and from that learned a great deal. We know the stereotypical stuff about gays, mostly from tv and society in general. We didn't at first understand that there was far more to this, and that you two have grown up, mentally, far quicker than most other kids." This was Scott's mom.
"We're still a little uncomfortable with this," Scott's dad said. "Um, ok, a lot. We were up all last night. I doubt we got more than an hour's sleep. After we learned you were out of danger, Scott, we talked a great deal. We...we want to be there for you. We would much rather...um...have you with us than have you hate us for the rest of your lives. And by what you said at the last, you would anyway have waited till the age of majority and moved in with each other, despite our feelings, and there would be nothing we could do."
"We care about you greatly. It was fear and ignorance that lead us to presume that our ideas and thoughts on how you should be was the only way. As parents we only want what is best for our kids, but more than that...more than that we need to know that our kids look up to us, that they love us. And by that love we know that we've done our best. We want to have done right by you, not the kids down the road or people we don't know." My dad paused then, at a loss for more words.
"I can add that at the same time we, as all parents, don't want you to squander or ruin your lives on...whims and..." Scott's mom stopped and blushed, and I guessed her next words would have been "teenage hormones" or something similar.
Scott and I shared a stunned gaze. Had we heard correctly? We were going to be allowed to continue as we were? Not that they knew what we got up to! Not that we would tell them!
In our parent's eyes, in that moment when joy shattered the clouds of despondancy, we saw the depth of their love for us, the love that meant they would accept our choice in this matter. And we saw the uncertainty as well. The fear that still lurked just behind the eyes, the discomfort at not knowing how to act, how to continue, know that the "rules" had changed.
"At least we won't have to worry about you getting some girl pregnant!" my dad smiled, and we all broke into subdued laughter.
I could see that they were still uncomfortable with the situation, and that it would take a while to get used to us being lovers, being gay. But the greatest hurdle was over with.
"Um...thank you," I said. I couldn't look them in the eyes, a little uncomfortable myself about the situation, that they knew what we could get up to, and about us talking about our homosexuality. Hey, we were 15, and to talk about sex with adults at that age, well, you get the picture! "We couldn't let you know about us, cos we were afraid that you would hate us, and that you would force us to be apart. We didn't want things to change between you and us, because we have heard of the things that can happen to families when someone is gay. I think I speak for both of us in all this. We love you guys, but we love each other, as well. We didn't want to lose your love and have you not be there...but Scott and I share...share something that will be with us forever...I hope."
"Don't worry, boys," my mom smiled. "Things will be a little difficult, but I'm sure we can work through all that."
This was turning out great! And yet I knew that elsewhere, others were not so fortunate, and I felt for them. Why should we be the lucky ones and they have to face the pain of going it alone? But then, looking into Scott's eyes I drowned in the warmth and love they shed upon me, and those thoughts fled my mind?
"We'll leave you alone now," my dad said. "I'm sure you have more things to say to each other, and we'd just be third wheels."
"You trust us!" I gasped. Damn, hadn't meant to put those thoughts into words! Now they would be suspicious about our actions together. Then again, they probably already were.
My dad smiled sadly. I knew this must be so,so hard for him and the others. "I'm sure you've experimented with...um...things. It's natural, I guess, no matter if you're gay or not. The only advice I can offer is to take things slow." The other three adults nodded, and then they filed out of the room in uneasy silence.
"D...dad?" I said.
He paused, the last to leave, and turned around.
I got up and ran over to him, my eyes brimming with even more tears. I flung my arms around him and hugged him. "I'm so sorry about this morning, dad. I...I thought Scott was dead and I blamed you and it wasn't right what I did and..and..I..."
"Don't worry, Cory," my dad sobbed, returning the hug. "I can imagine what you were going through.
"But I hurt you. I'm sorry...sorry."
My dad was crying as well, and in that moment there was forgiveness and love and a renewal. I looked into my dad's eyes, and I saw in them the longing for this moment to never end. After all, I was his son, his only son, and he wanted to keep me with him for as long as possible before I had grown up and he would be forced to let me go, lead my own life.
He wiped his eyes and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, then left the room, closing the door behind him.
I waited a minute, flung open the door. Looking outside, I saw no one except a nurse and a patient, so I closed the door and went back to Scott's side.
"You ok, buddy?" He was so concerned about me. ME! With him lying in a hospital bed. It should be the other way around.
"Yeah. When...when I thought you were dead, cos I had this dream about a funeral and...and my dad came into my room and I pulled away from him. I hurt him when I did it, and I didn't care, then. Now...now it's different, and..."
"Come here, lover," Scott smiled, not being seductive, but merely offering a comforting embrace. I complied and lay against him, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. "Hey, your dad forgives you! You know it, you saw his tears. I can't believe you went that far, for me!"
"Of course I would! You're the most important thing in my life! Without you..." I let the rest hang.
"Hey, I owe you one," he smirked.
"Huh?"
"For just now!"
I looked over at the door. "Come on," he said. "It'll be dangerous, kinky, to do it knowing you might get caught."
I hesitated, but the sudden bulge in my pants shot that hesitation out of the water. I took off my shoes and let my jeans and underpants pool around my ankles. I left my shirt on and clambered into the bed with Scott, his eyes feasting on my throbbing penis, swollen with need. I pulled his underpants down to his feet and shifted the gown, then lay against him. My eyes rolled as I felt his naked flesh beneath me, the heat undulating from his crotch. I began humping him, gently, not wanting to hurt him with sudden, heavy movements, but he held me to him with his arms, pulling me tight against him, kissing me, his fingers sliding over my ass, his tongue running over my neck, my cheek, his lips carressing my skin.
My breathing grew heavier as I rode him like that, my cock shivering with excitement. I was panting with heat, and knew I could cum soon. The fear of losing him, and the subsequent being without him, even for those few hours, made this feel all the more exquisite! I began humping him harder and faster, squeaks of pleasure escaping me!
"Suck you!" he managed to whisper through this own pleasure.
I slid up him and straddled his chest, holding my thick dick out for him to lick, lapping up the precum and swallowing my head, sucking and licking and gently biting it. I pushed my cock deeper and then withdrew it even as he slid his mouth along the shaft. I went faster, humping his face. His hands clamped on my ass cheeks and I clutched the sheets as I felt the seed rising through my balls, up my member, and I exploded into him, riding the orgasm for all it was worth.
When I managed to recover from spending my load, Scott had licked me dry. I lay against him, uncaring if someone entered, for about ten minutes, then reluctantly I got dressed and smiled down at him.
"Doc says I should be leaving in a few days. Will have to use crutches, cos my leg's not quite right. My head still hurts, and my chest as well."
I stared at him in concern. "You shoulda told me, Scott. Then I wouldn't have mounted you like..."
He shook his head and said:"When I saw you the pain vanished. That's how much you mean to me! When we were humping, there was only pleasure."
I threw myself against him, holding him tight. "Ah, jeez, Scott. I love you so damn much I can't begin to express it."
I lay next to him then, just lying on top of the covers, as we talked about music and playstation games and life and stuff, until our parents wandered in again after an hour or so and I left for home, secure in the knowledge that we would see each other again, soon!
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Well, things have worked out great for these two, so far... Who knows what the future could bring! Thanks for all the input and feedback. If I'm doing well and you want more, let me know.