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YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART EIGHT
I must have been pretty angry, cause the next few days I pretended to be busy, said I couldn't meet up. I mean in actual fact I was busy and it wasn't as if I lived in their pockets. I did receive a few messages; mainly Jake booty calls which I ignored. I don't know, but I must have been pretty angry, I think, or frustrated, what with Jake's booty calls and Po's schizoid rants. I needed to break away from these goons, get out from under my peer group and hit the scene. Only problem was, I didn't know anything about the scene. I'd've liked a friend at that point, some one to show me, you know, the ropes, or just to be there with me. Yeah, a friend. Well I didn't have any friends. And I thought, I'm just not getting what I want from my life ... I guess I'm just kidding myself, if I think I'm getting anything out of this ... I'm hanging out with these goons ... and ... why am I doing it? They're not even my friends cause all they do is treat me like a fag. Not even seriously. They just treat me like I'm worthless except as a kind of servant, I guess. Get that. Get this.
I mean, why shouldn't it even be an extremely soppy story like with love, two guys and everything? Why shouldn't it be like that? Two guys kissing and cuddling and having great sex, waking in each other's arms, greeting the morning with another explosive orgasm after a night of restlessness, holding each other tightly, the arms of night, occasionally stroking each other throughout the day, and furtive kisses - yes furtive but not ashamed or cruel or hurtful. Why shouldn't it be like that?
But I kept thinking about Jake's cock and what it felt like, when I held it, and what it felt like when it was in my mouth, so I was thinking about it, pretty well all the time. It's inevitable cause it was so beautiful and tasted so good, and when I got it all wet and wanked it it was so good to hold. I really loved his cock.
All came to a head a few days later. Eventually my schedule eased up and I thought I'd see if Jake 'needed something'. It didn't seem right to deny him his blowjobs for so many days. Even though I thought I should resent it, I guess my fag brain still told me service was right and not contacting my man when I knew his balls were filling up, was bad. And I knew I'd feel good if I sucked him and he came in my mouth again. All that cum in my throat. And he was my man; yes I really thought that. And I missed his cock. No surprise when he texted back he wanted me to come over to the park at once. "We're by the tree." Yeah, I knew which one. The usual place.
When I got there I saw Luke and John and Jake standing talking and Po and Dean standing separately and watching me approach. Like something was going on ... Po was wearing that red tracksuit again and I must say he looked pretty neat. The hood crumpled round his neck like a towel (why do hoods look so cool?) and the zip was open just a tiny bit so that the material was quite tight to his chest and I could see his chest the closer I got, and he was watching me but also talking to Jake and he was kicking the ground a bit like he wasn't thinking. They all seen me and knew, here I come but no one said anything, so I was in the dark but when I got up to them, like right there, Dean came right over, like a bull, and just smacked me! In my face! And so hard! I mean so hard like I sort of lost my breath and sort of almost fell. I put my hands up and like cowered and started rubbing my cheek, like what the fuck? and more or less started crying. I mean it was such a shock I was literally crying.
"Where you been?!" Dean shouted, hit me again and then and kicked me, my leg, so that I fell, you know, down to one knee and then kind of defensively I rolled. But everyone else was just watching! No one was smiling, so it wasn't a joke. And it was like there was a pre-arrangment agreement that Dean would do this, sort of like punishment cause no one said anything or seemed surprised or anything, they just watched and let him get on with it, like, let him take charge with the punishment caus what? Did he volunteer? John and Luke and Jake had stopped talking and were watching Dean kick me; so was Po. And Dean kicked me for a while; slapped me about and I curled into a ball and screamed, "Get off! Get him off!!" But no one did. I was scared cause I thought, what the fuck is going on?
So then he relaxed and squatted down by me, like he was going to see how I was or give me some advice. I was scared and I tried to get up and run off but he pushed me down and held me easily, and then stood up and sort of pinned me to the ground, mainly with his foot.
"Hey, fag, hey, listen, ok? Yeah? Yeah? Listen to me yeah? You been bad, yeah? Right? You alright? But you fuck off like that and where you bin? You can't just fuck off like that yeah?"
And I honestly thought, 'Have I done something wrong? Am I bad? Have I done something terrible?' And, like, felt guilty cause of it. That's how it seemed cause he was really pissed off and I could see, they'd been talking and everyone agreed I had done something so wrong I deserved punishment. Like I needed it. Like I was ... like I'd let them down or something and I was a bad friend and I was this unreliable or something person who just didn't get it, yeah? Who just didn't get how to behave and I had to be taught a lesson. So I was sorry. And I said so, I said sorry and it won't happen again and I felt bad, like genuinely bad for not being in touch but I still didn't get it cause, why did they care? Why did they suddenly care so much? I mean what was I to them? So I felt special, as well. I felt special.
Which you might think, what is it with this guy? But that's just me. I was apologising for, you know, whatever it was, but also, at the same time, I was like feeling like, yeah, I am special, you know, and they missed me, and now they're angry cause they missed me. Or something like that.
Anyway, Dean was nodding and standing and sort of grinding his trainers into me like I was literally a fag, a cigarette butt he was stamping out. Which was fine cause isn't that what I am? A fag?
And look I don't know if this is turning you on but it did turn me on, and I was literally getting hard, but I was also crying and scared cause I thought, what re they doing to me? And I looked up at Po, I caught a glimpse and he was just looking at me, like expressionless and he had his hands in his pockets and he was the fuck I swear Jesus he was literally literally playing with himself and looking at me as if to say, you know, this, you know, you know, you know this, all this, you brought it on yourself by acting gay and being this like fag and just generally being this like general fag, yeah, like I was. Like I had sort of, got like this and he was just there, watching, playing with his cock, like that's all it was. And I thought, maybe this is turning him on and he likes this? Cause I think he did.
Just then Dean kicked my junk what I realised was hard as anything and he realised, "Hey it's stiff! Eww fuck man what is wrong with you?" He kicked my balls like he was kicking a dog turd and cause I was so hard it really really hurt and I doubled up and screamed "Get off!!" cause it really I mean really fucking hurt!
And I mean I did think, you know, like, what IS wrong with me? Cause I had such a hard on. And I thought, yeah, I am different cause different things turn me on, not like them with their cocks out, I'm different from them cause I get turned on by different things and they can never understand. And it made me feel different cause I was special and ... I reckon I think they understood this. I mean I felt alone cause I was different but special as well cause like they understood this so they, sort of, understood, you know, like they understood me, and it was clear, strangely, how much better this made me cause, I felt better. So it was like I was starting to understand what was going on. And I thought, yeah, they understand. And that made me feel safe. And turned me on. I can't explain it. My whole body was tense and I didn't know what was coming next but I just knew that they were watching me - and Po, I just know, was turned on by looking at me being there on the ground like that, I just knew it, and I thought, cause I suddenly knew they were all getting turned on. Like a group.
So then ... well, so then Dean bobbed down, like squatted again like he was stroking my head and being nice, except he wasn't then cause then he gripped my ear, real forcefully, and said, like it was the only way he could get through to my thick intelligence, he tugged on my ear and started to like, speaking, to me, like this, he said, "We been talking. And seems how why should Jake be the only one?" And then he put his free hand on his crotch and squeezed it, like I might not have understood. I immediately thought of his balls hanging down and how they must feel to him when he held them and "Yeah? Cause you know what, we got this cocksucker fag what, why just Jake? Why shouldn't he be be for everybody? Why just Jake?"
So was all the double-bluff bullshit game was up? And not cause of anything but just like it ceased to exist?! Yeah, seems so, cause well, yeah I was a cocksucker and everybody just decided it wasn't just a thing; it was true! Or Jake must have come clean or got caught out or something or like I suppose, like the joke ... stopped, you know, being a joke. I suppose, you know, it just stopped yeah?
"Jake wanted to keep you to all to his self and why that?" "Who says?" I asked, shielding my face. This seemed to upset Dean even further. "WE do!" he shouted. "Get it?" He pulled my ear half off and then stood up and kicked me again, connecting to my stomach, so I was out of breath and saying, like, "Ok! Ok! Ok! Ok!"
I reckon Dean was enjoying this demonstration of his gym-buff just like it justified all that training and preening and stretching. I caught sight of him; the view of his body from down there on the ground made me realise how lovely he was. There was a kind of beauty to the hard-won superiority he was demonstrating and that kind of wierd honour I felt at being the centre of his attention. The others would be looking at him and admiring him, I reckon. And they would be looking at me as well, being humiliated by him and approving of that. And it was like, if they were approving as if I'd broken some rule they had and had to be punished, it felt like, well, it must be fair, cause here it was happening! It was like they really cared about me and cared if I was doing wrong.
So that was how Dean was taking charge as though it seemed he would be the new leader and now he would own me, just like Jake had done, and I'd be his cocksucker but this time it would be the gang and I would be in the middle of it, like a room inside a castle, and I'd serve all of them. That's what he was explaining, as though it was really difficult to understand. And as I felt the idea emerge almost like a physical object in my mind, my pants grew tighter and tighter and my balls felt huge, just so huge and I was SO turned on! Like I had new purpose! I thought, 'Now I'm going to get to stuff my face in all of their junk!' And the smell and the sweat and the taste and the slippery foreskins leaking in my mouth ...!
"No witty answers, eh?" Dean lifted his trainer and then carefully lowered it so that the sole was in my face.
I stared at it for a moment, unsure what he was about to do. Would he mash it into my nose? I could see him looking at me like an overlord, this buff guy far away at the top of his thick leg. Dean laughed and looked at the group. They weren't sure what he was going to do either.
"Go on. Lick it ! You know you want to." He lowered the toe even further so that it really was possible for me to stick out my tongue and reach it ... so that's what I did. I licked the sole of his trainer and kept on licking it, scraping away the grime and soil while he laughed and the others too, I imagine. I don't know what they were doing. And I really enjoyed it too because it was so real. I salivated to rinse the grit in my teeth and when I had been doing it for some time, Dean hopped so that the other sole was in my face. Like he was doing a dance and he laughed. I think that's the first time I ever felt completely safe with them - because now I knew what they wanted and I knew I could do it.
After a bit I heard Luke complain that they hadn't agree to watch Dean getting his shoes licked! They wanted their blowjobs like agreed. Dean tapped me on the nose with his toe and turned to them "Ok lads, come and get it!" like it was dinner. "Bring him here!" called Luke, indictating the tree shelter where I had given Jake his first blowjob. Luke was playing with his cock in his pocket. He was hard and ready, and looked at me as though he was eager to get off.
I wonder how long he'd wanted it for?
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END OF YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART EIGHT