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YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART SIX
Obviously that was quite a shock. We walked on for a bit. He was still holding my arm, like tight now, not softly; like he was holding me from running off, or like he was angry. "I - I didn't know ..." I said when I had thought for a bit. His grip was hurting. "You still don't," he warned. "If you say anything, I mean anything right? I will actually kill you, ok?" "I won't," I murmured. "No. Do you get what I am saying?" "Yeah ... Course ..." "No but do you?" His voice was ... well it's strange because it was firm but also a bit like jelly and he was sort of ordering me and also sort of pleading. It was strange. "Yeah course I get it ..." I said, thinking, 'You're so queer. Like me!' and also thinking (because why not?) if he would want me to, you know, suck him off and also if he ... might like to fuck me also. Why wouldn't he? And I also thought, with a kind of instinct, he would know how to do it. Fuck me properly, I mean. "Are you ..." my voice trailed off. "I mean, like are you ..." my second attempt also trailed off. "What are you asking?!" he snapped. "Look leave it!" "I was just thinking ... well, like, if you are, then, are ..." I wanted to ask if he was Top. But it was such a stupid question and I only wanted to hear him say it. I think it's obvious, but just to ask him a question, you know, about him; cause I wanted to stay in the zone, didn't I, where we were being honest or, what felt like honest. But I chickened out. "... yeah nothing," I said, "I won't say anything. Promise. About you being gay. I promise." "Look this isn't a joke! I WILL hurt you if you destroy my life!" But just then this text from Jake came. He said he needed something, which was code for he's horney, so I thought, "Maybe after all ... he was looking to have sex?" So then he texts 'Park, Pond bench.' So I thought he, Jake, might be gearing up to, you know, try again - but not with Po there, so I didn't know. "What's that?" said Po. "Jake. Wants to meet at the Pond." "Yeah. That's where we're going to. He already told me that." "Oh. Only he's only just ... texted me ..." "We agreed that's where we'd meet. He doesn't know we met up does he?" "No." "No I know he doesn't. Let's get on then," said Po, "it's late." "Yeah safe. Don't want to be late." And then I had another thought,"Does Jake know?" Po's hand tightened on my arm again, really digging in, and he pulled me to a halt with a jerk and half raised his other hand as if he was going to slap me. I flinched. "LISTEN! You stupid fuck, look, listen, one last time or I swear!" His hand was poised above his arm and I really thought he was going to smack my face - I mean hard. I flinched and immediately apologised although I noticed in myself this amazing excitement like I didn't want to get hurt, but I did. Because it was honest. "Jesus Po, I get it. I was just asking. Christ you're such a closet!" He softened again. "Look kid just don't make a joke of it cause it's serious right?" He released me (I could still feel his fingermarks for like ages afterwards, like a reminder that he COULD hurt me) and then put his arm round my shoulder and squeezed my neck affectionately. "Look mate, I want you to be happy yeah? But just don't fuck it up for me right? But you need to watch out mate. And you should work out mate." (I didn't ask I he meant I'd work out as in, I'd be ok eventually, or if he meant I should work out as in, go to the gym. But I left it.) "If Jake and me didn't watch out for you you'd already be dead." "Dead?" I said, "as in what, not-alive dead, like murdered?" "What do you think? You think it's allowed?" His arm round my shoulder tightened still further on my neck and he pulled my face into his and gave me a little kiss, a small peck on the cheek. "Don't worry," he said and then I felt trapped. He was leading me into the park and for the second time I felt really in danger, cause I thought, 'Po is a bit mad!' and I really didn't trust him. But you know, Po Mostafa - the name, which basically explains why he was so paranoid, I guess. From his background, you know, fuck knows how people would react. Difficult for people not like that to imagine what it's like being so strict. They have all sorts of stuff you can't do and all sorts of other stuff that isn't allowed and basically it's never ending as far as I can see. Not that I care, but I guess that explains it. Perhaps. All I am saying is, other people's lives, you know? You never can know about other people's lives.
Jake was sitting on a bench, in his jeans and hoodie - hood up - sitting on the back with his feet on the seat. He looked so cool and I was so relieved to see him. He had his elbows on his knees, looking at his phone, so we got quite close before he noticed us. Po walked the whole way with his arm holding my shoulders, but as we got really close his hand slid down my back and touched my bottom briefly, with like a little pat. Jake looked up and his hood fell back and gathered round the back of his head and looked even more cool. His eyes were kind of hard but soft at the same time, the way guys with their strong eyebrows have long eyelashes. "Bought your sex slave back Jake!" Po announced, like he caught me trying to escape, like it was a joke. I winced. Jake looked up, a bit confused at first then got it and laughed. "It's cool. He's just a cocksucker, n't ya?" I nodded and smiled. I'd lost track of the jokes and the stories. "If you say so," I said. "God what are you wearing?" said Jake.
It was an odd day cause we just hung out and talked, Luke and Dean and John joined us and the six of us smooched around town like we always do. Dean kept playing Beastie Boys on his phone - it was funny cause it was so dated, and when Luke said it was gay Dean said it wasn't and he glanced at me for a millisecond. Dean had this habit of flexing his muscles - his biceps and shoulders, shoulder blades and chest, expanding his chest, which he could really do because he had a big chest, sucking-in his stomach and holding his breath, and tightening his thighs when he sat - as though he was constantly checking or getting the feel of his body and correcting or adjusting his shape; but he was in good shape! I mean, now he was standing on his toes and flexing his calves! Luke and John were similar, but not so obsessed. They talked about weight training and muscle diet supplements. All a bit above my pay grade! So when I got bored with them I just left. They just said, 'Fine, seeya.' And that was that except Po said they were going to get chips, cause they were hungry. So I changed my mind and hung around. As we walked along the street it was getting quite a bit dark and they were going arguing about where to get the chips. I said this place and I was overruled, naturally. Frankly I wish I'd just gone home. They were so stupid and I didn't really have any reason to be with them now that Jake decided he was too straight to get blowjobs. I mean, I did, cause they were my friends, but not if Jake was going to ignore me. Still we got chips at some place everybody else thought was good, and sat by the railway to eat them. Dean was a messy eater and managed to get ketchup on his face which everybody thought was a laugh but I just thought, 'What's so difficult about eating chips?' But I didn't say anything. Finally everyone was going home and said cheers. I said cheers and off I went - the way to my place was different to theirs. I know this is pretty boring but that's life. I was hard the whole time cause Po and Jake and the others, I mean, wall to wall, I was in really happy I think.
Anyway, turns out Jake chased after me. He lost the others and caught up with me in Bode Lane, where the market is by day. He called me, "Hey sub, I told you I needed something!" I stopped. He was back lit in his hood by a street lamp so he looked pretty mean like gangsta and might have been about to knife me for all I knew but it was Jake, so. So I didn't have a clue, so I didn't expect it when he caught up with me and he just marched up to me and without a word except, "Here," pushed me into a gap between two stalls and started snogging my face. I could feel he was hard already cause he pressed it up against me - so he was thinking about it and he was opening his jeans even as we snogged and he was getting his cock out even before he was getting me to kneel down in front of it. I was pretty fed up with his games yeah but I really wanted him in my mouth, obviously. That was our thing and, I'd been worried, and, that he didn't want it anymore. But now I saw he was still into it. So I was more happy than shocked - though when he started by fucking my head more violently than he usually did I wasn't sure how grateful I was ... but I was grateful, definitely. I'm sure he was trying to prove something - that he needed to cum in my gob but he wasn't gay and didn't respect me, I think that was story. Having started like that he then started just feeding it to me and stroking my head and letting me please him like that, him stroking my hair to let me know I was doing it right. His bush was a mass of sweat cause he hadn't changed all day, practically dripping with sweat and smelled of fresh wet seaweed for some reason, but fresh like he always smelled, fresh sweat, and his stiffie came out of it like an angry sea dragon that went down my throat like it lived there! And then, well he wanted to cum so he started fucking my head more violently again, in deep and out long. I couldn't speak with him jacking my face into his bush so when my head started banging against the wooden bar on the side of the stall it was nothing I could do about it. And I don't even think he realised what he was doing it, unless he was doing it deliberately. I mean, the noise, cause the stall was basically just a pile of loose planks. So perhaps he did know that he was really hurting my head. He was into his orgasm, I suppose, so also, perhaps he couldn't help himself. Or something. Perhaps he was angry. Or perhaps he was angry with himself. Or something. I don't know. When he started shooting I had to steady myself holding onto his legs which, his jeans came down and he was just in his underpants round his balls and I was almost falling - except that he kept hold of my head and just sort of held it like a football he was jacking off in.
I still remember that as one of the best, cause I know he needed it or he wouldn't have done it otherwise.
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END OF YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART SIX