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YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART FOUR
Well obviously when we got in, door locked, he quickly decided that what he'd said, about fucking, was not what he factually meant. That's when it all went a bit pear shaped. Love birds. "I'm sorry," he said, when he couldn't get it up.
We got into the room alright. "Ok this is it," I said indicating the extent of my domain. I immediately pulled the curtains, thinking it would help; the single bed, the piles of books, rubbish and discarded clothes looked doubly grubby in the half light. I looked at him. He looked at me. We stood there. "Why don't you undress?" I said. "I don't need to do I?" "Oh for godsake relax. The door's locked." I went towards him and offered to help but he grabbed me and kissed me. "I want you," he whispered. "I know you do." He pushed me with his erection. Then I helped him off with his shirt. "You undress as well," he said as though I might not and it was all a trick. Strange how now I was the self-confident one - but I somehow knew where we were going and thought I somehow knew how to get there. I took off my shirt and sat on the bed to take off my shoes and socks. He saw me do it and then pulled off his trainers and then his socks and then he started to undo his trousers. I undid my trousers and stood up to pull them off. His trousers dropped at the same time and we were looking at each other in just our underpants. I could see his erection and he could see mine. So I put my thumbs in my waist band and started to lower my pants and he started to lower his tighties as well. Our stiff pricks popped out just at the same time. Then we were just standing there just looking at each others bodies. I looked at his. He looked at me, then reached out to touch. He stroked my shoulder then my pec (with just his fingertips, a bit like Captain Kirk might stroke an alien not sure if its skin was poisonous) and then he lay his hand on my waist and then put his other hand on my other waist and I stepped closer to him so that out bodies, I mean our dicks, just touched just - it's like they were reaching out to each other. He smiled and put his arms round me and then tightened his arms and hugged me so then our dicks really were touching and slid up between us. "This feels odd," he said into my ear. His hands sort of fell onto my bottom and started feeling it. I liked that. Then he asked me, "What do we do?" "Well," I said matter of factly, like I was offering him two types of coffee, "I can ... do it on my back. You know ..." "How's that?" "You lift my legs." He winced "and then what?" "You ... put it in," I said agonised by the lack of romance. "Or?" "I think it's called all-fours," "Like a dog," he said. "You know it! Yeah, like a dog ..." "I don't know," he said. "Dog makes more sense." "Yeah. More sense." I paused, expecting more from him. After all, we had both seen the video! "Go on then," he said. So I clambered onto the bed and got on all fours and then he got behind me and started to rub his penis against my arse. He rubbed it like that for a while then said, "It won't go in," "What won't go in?" "What do you think? It's too tight. There's nothing there. There's no opening." "Are you hard?" I asked, staring at the curtains. "Yeah. A bit." "You need to be hard. It helps." "Ok wise arse, I know I need to be hard. But I'm not used to this. Are you hard?" "Yes." He checked me. That was the first time he touched me directly, but it was a bit like a vet checks a cow for a hernia. "Ok so you are. So what's wrong with me?" "I haven't cum. You came twice, Superman." "Oh yeah that's it. But even so ..." "Look, try it this way," I said rolling over onto my back. He looked at me in confusion. "Why don't you just come here and kiss a bit. Your taking it all to seriously and you're not relaxed." "A moment ago I wanted to." "Yeah," I said. "I know." "Now I don't." He was still kneeling on the side of the bed looking at me, stroking his barely-semi. He looked so gorgeous with his muscles and his big strong arms and his meaty legs, the way his thick neck made his head look a bit small and his ears ... "You're tense," I said. "I don't think I'm gay. I can't do it can I so I'm not gay am I?" "Is that what's worrying you?" He sniffed, "No, but if I'm not gay then no wonder if I can't ... Makes sense." "I don't know," I said. I felt a bit sad. "Is that what this is? You proving you're not gay? Is that what this is for?" "No. Not really. But I'm just saying if I can't then that makes sense. That I'm not, I mean." (What doesn't make sense, I thought, is having the best looking bloke in the hemisphere here on my bed and looking at me and both of us not doing anything!) "So what do you want?" I said. "I think I'd better go." I groaned. "For fucksake Jake. What the fuck is wrong with you? First you do then you don't. Make your fucking mind up." "I have made my fucking mind up," he said, "I'm going to go. This was a bad idea." I scrambled up and grabbed him as he stood to get his clothes but he pushed me off. "I don't think we should be doing this. It's wrong. Men and women ... kiss and I'd lick her until she was moaning and then I'd fuck her wouldn't I and it'd be great. I'm not going to lick you! Sorry mate. This was a mistake. Sorry. No hard feelings." I snorted. "You're right there!" He sniffed, "No, I mean don't take it hard ..." I snorted again. "No. I didn't. I didn't fucking take it at all." He got the joke. He picked up his pants. "Look why do you even want it so much? It's unnatural." "I'm gay, I said! I'm NOT straight, right? I decide what's natural. YOU let me suck your cock. YOU kiss and fondle. You don't get to draw some random line and say what's natural." "I knew it didn't feel right though." He looked at me. "I knew it didn't feel right. I know what feels right, don't I?" He looked at me pleadingly as though trying to get me to let him go. I wasn't holding him. "It felt right to me. Are we still gonna ... do stuff?" I asked. "I dunno mate. I'm not sure." "But you wanted it!" "I know. I'm not pointing any fingers. I just think maybe give it a rest." "You liked kissing." "I know I did." "So what's changed?" He sniffed. "Nothing. Cause you kiss like a girl. Look I gotta go." I didn't know I kissed like a girl and wondered if he even knew what a girl kissed like. "Hungry? We could get something." "I gotta go, mate. I'm ... Look I gotta go ok? That's it."
So that's where we left it. Sorry. He left and I wanked off into the duvet, trying to imagine what it would have been like having that lovely penis rammed up my arse - which was difficult because I'd never had anything up my arse and, well quite honestly, it's a bit difficult to imagine it if you haven't had it ever. A bit like beer, or Marmite: you can't describe it can you?
That night I slept like a rock, cause I was thinking of Jake fucking me and in my mind it went off really well and I just drifted off into my dream and Jake was holding me tight and he was inside me and he was really happy and I was really happy and everything was perfect and I was so grateful and he was really grateful too. When I woke I thought, how can I make this happen? and I thought of practising, you know, with something, so that next time, whenever that was, I'd have a clue what was supposed to happen rather than just assume TopMan would know. Not for the last time, I noticed that being Top didn't always mean he knew what he was doing! He was going to need supporting and encouragement and help if he was going to do it like an expert. So next day I tried to act normally, but I couldn't stop thinking about getting fucked and why it hadn't happened. And obviously I wondered if it was my fault he had lost his hard on. Perhaps I wasn't as attractive as I thought ... after all perhaps he was right, and this wasn't right and ... after all I wasn't right. I mean, I always thought if I just did what felt right then I'd be ok, but now it looked like being ok ... wasn't right. Oh, I don't know.
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END OF YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART FOUR