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YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART 34
"Now who's spot the sub?" said Dean and laughed, cause Monster was looking at Luke like Luke should get ready to get broken in.
Luke went quiet and kicked the dirt. He was angry. I think he would have kicked me but didn't want to get in the way of Monster. Monster seemed to have come over all protective. It's odd how I draw this protective side out of guys. I think they don't think of me as one of theirs, even though I obviously am a bloke with bloke's clothes and a bloke's shape and a full set of, you know, and a flat chest - I mean, no boobs. But I must admit I don't feel like I fit in. I don't feel like I am a natural fit. I occupy a place that isn't normal. Sub-normal? So not normal at any rate, that it confuses their hormones and they start getting all, 'Oh he's delicate, he's a flower, he can't be treated like a joke between mates cause he's soft, and we have to be protective.' ... Something like that ... and turned on - cause at the same time there's this brutality in their abuse, like I need to be punished for being what I am and making them horney. Like it's my fault! Like they have to show their toughness by beating me around, by taking it out on me, or else they are gay as well. Cause sometimes they want to hurt me, and sometimes they don't. Or like they worried about me but expressed it by pretending they didn't care.
That's what I like: the not knowing which it is and always having to adapt to ... so that I give them satisfaction either way. That's what works. And I like being this ... this ... thing, I guess, what they want to gob and piss on, beat and abuse, facefuck and then cum in my face and let me lick their balls, and then look after ... I like it. I like being their friend.
I keep trying to explain, don't I? But I don't explain do I? Cause I can't explain.
Well, Luke went quiet, and Dean looked at me like he was trying to see a coin at the bottom of a very deep well. "Who are you trying to protect?" he said, "What happened?" He was using his, 'let's be reasonable' voice and even strolled closer - I was kneeling still where I had been when he spat at me - and squatted down and turned my head left and right to see the marks. He smiled. "You look like someone tried to strangle you. Is that it? Was it Luke?"
I could hear Luke puff in frustration. Dean was grinning and glanced at me in a conspiratorial way, like he was only saying it to wind Luke up even more. I caught sight of Luke standing a way off; he was bright red. And I think I might'a looked guilty, cause the pressure was too great to say, yeah it was Luke, cause now it was like he was as fag as me! Funny how that happened. And Brenda was this suddenly like mythical creature no one believed in - even though we had all seen her and knew they was going out and everything.
"I think it WAS Luke!" said Dean sarcastically.
And I thought, Why shouldn't Luke get the blame?
So this is when things got bad. Now Dean said, "Show us how you kiss!" "Fuck offfff!" said Luke.
"No, come on Lukey, let's see how you bite your baby!" He was laughing, but in a more menacing way.
And Luke said, really angrily, "WE DON'T KISS!"
"What do you do then?"
"No - thing, You scumbag!"
Luke tried to walk away but then Monster grabbed him, grabbed his arm and pulled him by the arm roughly and dragged him over to where I was kneeling, practically dragging him off his feet. Luke was so surprised and course Monster was so big Luke couldn't do anything except sort of get dragged and when he realised what was happening he started squealing and squirming and tried to grab Monster's arm and release himself, but Monster just ignored him like Luke was a brat and Luke needed teaching.
When he got to me he pulled me to my feet with his other arm by grabbing my shirt, so I had to get up or my shirt would tear, and Monster kind of pushed us together like two pieces of bread.
Dean helped! He stood behind me with his hands on my shoulder-blades so I couldn't back off (I could feel his chest on my back) and Luke and me were forced into a kind of together thing. Luke's lips touched my face and he went absolutely fucking crazy! He was fucking kicking and punching - not Monster, who he didn't want to hit, but ME! - me! and spitting and angry and shouting, "I AM NOT KISSING!!"
And his body and mine just sort of collided like that, his face in my face and my face in his face, and his his whole body sort of met mine like a wave, like a big splash and I could feel everything as he hit me and I could feel everything man, through his clothes - cause my arms just went round him and held him like a great big pillow - cause he was hitting me and I tried, I wanted him to stop. I couldn't help myself from just grabbing him and then his face was in my face and even though he was fucking angry and red in the face and, like, screaming! "You keep away from me you fuck! I'm going to fuck you up you poof! You fucking pansy! Cunt!"
I still couldn't actually stop my face from just like going into his face and then we actually WERE kissing! We actually were, even though he was also shouting and struggling - cause Dean and Monster were holding us and pushing our faces. I could smell Luke's BO, which was quite ripe - which I didn't know before cause when I had smelt his pants, when I was sucking him, and licking his balls, I hadn't noticed it as strong as before. I mean I had smelt his piss and his skids and his crotch but not this. Which is when I realised it was his armpits and his hair I was smelling and I didn't know that they smelt like that. And I thought, 'Wow, what a smell!' It was really strong and kind of raw. Like a guy-smell that they can't wash off.
Monster eventually grabbed Luke's hands and made them go round me so Dean grabbed them and held them there and ...
... Well actually my arms went round Luke's waist and held him as well cause I didn't want him to keep fucking kneeing me and punching me did I?
It was nice, cause Luke had a good body - better than mine, but about my build - slim and lovely to hold. He was strong too, in the back, and I could feel it and I could feel his chest against my chest now that we were being forced, to hold on like this, each other. And I knew how his buttocks felt, cause I could feel them and I took the chance to feel him good. It was so nice. His lips were soft as well, and dreamy, because he couldn't change that, could he?
And you know, even though Luke was being forced to press his lips on my lips, and he was breathing through his nose to keep his mouth shut and he was slanting his face so our noses didn't bump and he was sometimes opening his eyes to look at me angrily and sometimes he was closing them - but in that space of touching him, with his arms around me, being forced by Dean to hold me, and with Monster keeping us in contact - in that space there was this intimacy, this secret feeling we both had, Luke and I, that no one else knew about that no one else was feeling when two bodies are up close and their faces are like this - really close and really kissing; no tongues, but really kissing - and we went on like that despite everything, really close. And I knew what he was feeling. I knew what he was feeling, because he had a hard on! He was hard! He was so fucking hard I knew he was so fucking aroused. He was so fucking aroused I knew he might actually cum. If I touched him and helped it I knew he might actually cum. And I looked at him and I caught his eye, even though he was angry, and I knew. I knew.
I knew all right. And he knew I knew. And I knew he knew I knew.
Ok.
It was like that.
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END OF YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART 34