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YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART TWENTY-ONE
I froze when he said that, "You'd like any cock." His penis in my hand suddenly felt, oh I don't know, sort of cold and clammy and ... like it was dead. "What did you say?" I asked, half laughing but, inside as if, you know, shock. I half knew he was right.
"You're not particular," he explained. He stroked my hair, as though it was obvious, you know not all that extraordinary thing to say. And I thought, or rather, I saw, that he was right. I didn't care whose cock. I just, it was like, I just didn't care.
"I'm sorry," I said, letting go of him and rolling away.
People say things, and they don't always mean what they say, cause they, it's like they just say things to see how they sound, like questions, but they sound like statements, don't they? Or questions that sound like they are making some kind of definitive statement. I mean, looking back, I think what he meant was, what he meant was like, AM I particular? As in, DO I like him or do I not care?, DOES this mean anything or is it just fucking?, Like, WHERE do I stand? WHAT are my commitments? HOW can he trust me? Do I care about HIM, or IS it just sex? Is he just another cock or, you know, aomething, like, boyfriend material? And in a world where we do not value anything, do I care enough? to value him? It was a question.
But at the time I thought, 'He fucking just isn't there. He actually thinks I'm a just this cum thing, this cock thing, this empty meaningless fuck bucket who, just, doesn't, matter!' So I rolled away.
Look at it this way: We were both vulnerable. We were both there. We both had our loneliness we'd built to like cocoon ourselves and we'd both found safety in that. We had our lives and we were dying to share what we felt, but we didn't share, because we didn't listen to each other. That's what happens. But I also DID want his cock because it was HIS cock, because he was a man and a proper gay man and gorgeous and lovely, and kind to me and he wanted me, he was nice to me and he did want to fuck me, that did mean something, didn't it?
"It's clean now, so you can lick it," he said. His arm was still round me but I had rolled so that my back was to him, but I could still reach his cock. If I wanted to.
Clever sod, he realised I was upset. He had his arm round my neck, under my head, and he let that arm lay flat on the bed and then lifted the wrist so that he found my face, my nose and my cheeks and my lips; my eyes were wet - which I think he realised but didn't know if it was. "Hey, come on. You know you make me randy. Turn round. Come on. Hey, man, I said ... turn round and face me." "Yeah, ok," I said, but I didn't turn round. He rolled towards me so that we were kind of spooning. He adjusted his dick with his other hand so that it was touching my bottom - a bit like a question. "You ok?" Then he pressed it against me and put his arm around me so that now I was fully in his arms and he was hugging me, his legs were touching my legs and his chest was touching my back and his breath was on my neck. His toes tickled my heels. His penis was thick and growing into the space between my legs.
"Hey. You ok?" "Yeah." "You wanna suck my cock then? It's getting hard. It's now or never ..." "You're always hard," I said. "Look who's talking!" He grabbed my stiffie and gave it a wank before letting it spring back. "So do you want to suck my cock or not?" Like I had a choice. "Yeah," I said, "Yeah, I ..." "Turn round then."
I turned round. His big face was facing me, like the face of a mountain, and he was looking at me with those big eyes of his, trying to see what I was going to do. I managed to get my arm over his so I stroked his hair and smiled and kissed him on the lips.
"Go on then mate."
"Yeah, I ... ok." "Don't you want to?" "Yeah. I. Ok."
Yeah, it must have seemed strange how my mood, you know, altered cause he said, "You crying?" "No," I smile-sniffed. "Sure?" "Yeah." "Ok then," he said, patiently, waiting for me to do as I was told.
"Well go on then."
I grasped his dong in my fist and then kind of pulled on it and slid down his body, into the bed, down like a lift; his body passed in front of my eyes like a train window passes a landscape and then we kind of pulled into the station; there it was, his navel and then his pubic hair - 'Now arriving, platform penis,' would be the announcement. His crotch smelt of soap. Like a neighbouring train, his solid cock, thick and long and solid, drove past my face and bumped my nose. It was gorgeous, huge and shiny cause the skin was tight and pulled down so that the head was shining bright and big and purple. I nudged it with my nose and then ran my tongue up the underside and touched the edge at the top before opening my lips and letting it push gently in.
He shivered and I knew then how much he wanted it. He placed a hand on the back of my head but didn't force me, just applied a gentle encouraging pressure on my skull and my ears so that when I got the end of it into my mouth he held it so that the end of it stayed in my mouth before he gave it a push and made it go in properly.
I knew I had to open my jaw and breath super carefully now cause it was going to choke me and I didn't want it to slip out or get forced out with me coughing, I wanted it to go down my throat completely. I wanted him to cum in my throat. I wanted him to enjoy it as much as Jake did, but better cause his cock because it was huge deserved to be better satisfied and make him really happy. And I thought he needed to know that.
I wasn't sure but his hand stayed on my head and sometimes when it was right in he pressed on the back of my head and held it there and he said, "Ooh baby ..."
Yeah! He did!
But also I choked and when I did he sort of got insistent, putting it back in my gob as soon as I could recover so that gradually I was drowning in the mess. At one point he stopped and looked down at me and I looked up and he said, "You alright down there?" but not for very long because then he said, "Look, concentrate. Focus. You can do it. I promise. I'm going to give you my cum ok? Yeah? Just let me fuck your throat." I wanted him to. But I couldn't speak. But I tried to let him know.
"Right try this." He got up and lay me on the bed on my back and my neck was resting on the edge of the bed so he could stand with his legs widely spread holding my head still and fucking it like a hole and basically my face was between his legs and his balls were hitting my nose everytime he swung in and I was looking at his arse, flexed to max.
"Yeah. Like that. You're so natural. Natural one. Natural."
Each time he was in he felt my neck to feel his prick move inside it - like cause it was in there and filling my throat. He tapped my chin with his fingers, I suppose affectionately, but also thinking did he know it was me he was fucking or was it just a hole? I could feel it deep down my neck so I breathed through my nose trying to keep calm but it was really difficult. I wanted to be there for him, so he could use me as he wanted, but it was difficult.
And when he said, "Come on baby, concentrate. Relax. Breath. Keep still, yeah? You do this; this is what you do ..." I really tried to keep as still as I could for him to masturbate himself into me. He moaned happily with each thrust and took shirt insistent breaths. I wanted to take it. I really wanted it, as the speed jumped up and he was feeding it into me like a piston motor, hurting my neck cause the strange angle made it bend all funny. But that was ok..
Ok. But that was intense and when he did cum I think it was more than before, but I don't know cause it went straight down into my stomach I think and I wasn't even able to taste it except for the final bit dripping from him when he pulled back a bit and then milked it off into my eyes, which he smiled at, about before I closed my eyes, cause I couldn't see could I?
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END OF YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART TWENTY-ONE