Disclaimer: If you live in an area where reading material involving two males undergoing sexual acts is illegal, I suggest you stop reading now, as this document may be considered heinous and/or unlawful. Also, any relation to people living or dead is just coincidental! This story is complete fiction!
Background Information: American Sign Language (ASL) is a non-verbal language used primarily in the United States and Canada among the Deaf community. It is very different from English, as it is a visual language, with a grammar and syntax of its own. I will do my best (as a hearing person) to demonstrate how Deaf people communicate by typing signed conversations as all capital letters with lowercase letters representing unsigned words to help the understanding in English.
"YOU HEAR, I WANT" by Matt James Chapter 3
It was getting increasingly harder to keep my "secret." Everyone knew that I was gay at home. But absolutely no one here did.
Every time I saw an attractive guy, I wanted to run back to my friends and tell them about some hot piece of meat I had seen. But there was no one here to talk to.
Could I trust Will? I'd only known him for about two months at this point. He was my closest friend though. I had grown as close to him as I had to my friends back home in such a short time. I felt like I'd known Will my entire life. We always finished each other's sentences and would be able to know what the other was thinking by a certain look. He was shaping up to be my best friend, it seemed. I had to tell him.
But when would be a good time to tell him? It was a delicate situation.
Every weekday for the past two months had been typically the same. I would wake up at 7 AM, take my shower (occasionally relieving myself if you know what I mean), get ready, grab a granola bar and head to class, come back from classes around 4, relax a little before eating dinner and doing homework, and hanging out in people's rooms (sometimes my own) before heading to bed at 11.
My weekends usually involved some outdoor activity that the whole floor approved of and going out to a restaurant off campus with my new friends. Then I'd generally just hang around in people's room, perhaps a party every 3 weeks or so. I couldn't handle being around drunk people, and I never drank that much myself (save two or three beers).
It was a Friday night in early November when Will and two of our other friends, Hannah and Greg (a cute couple), were walking back from a lame party. The two love birds had gotten bored before having any drinks, and decided to return back to Greg's dorm. They were walking way ahead of us, holding hands and giggling, when I figured this would be the only time I could really talk to Will without all of our friends around.
I intentionally steered our conversation into the direction of sexual experiences. He told me he'd only had one girlfriend in high school, during our junior year. I told him I'd been with two 'people.' I didn't wanna lie by saying I was with girls, so I used a gender neutral word.
Eventually, I had the courage to begin testing the waters. "Have you ever.. uh.. I dunno, kissed a guy?"
"Yeah, once at a party over the summer. We were both drunk out of our minds and this /really/ hot girl said she'd suck our dicks if we made out for like 10 seconds."
I laughed, "Did she put out?"
"No, the bitch took a picture of us and laughed! She put it up on Facebook the next day.. All of our friends had a good laugh for the next few weeks. Why, have you ever kissed a guy?"
"Well, um.. yeah I have, but.. Will, you're the closest friend I have here. I'm uh.. Ugh, I can't say it. Please don't tell anyone?" He stopped walking.
"Wait wait wait.. are you trying to tell me you're, y'know?" He looked at me with a face I couldn't read. There wasn't a single look on Will's face that I didn't know up until now. We were silent for a few seconds.
"Don't get mad at me..."
"You are, aren't you?"
His words stung. My mouth dried up and tears began welling up in my eyes. I felt so stupid. Maybe Will wasn't the friend I thought he was after all.
"I'm sorry.. You don't have to talk to me anymore or anything, just don't tell--" I got choked up and a couple of tears slowly rolled down my face, "tell.. tell anyone, please."
Before I had even finished my sentence, Will grabbed me and hugged me close to him. He put his left arm around my back and held my head to his shoulder with his right.
"Dude, don't cry." I hugged him back as I let out a few quiet sobs. "You thought I'd be pissed at you for something like that? That's dumb. We're friends."
"I'm sorry, I thought you were gonna disown me or something," I muttered as I laughed a little.
"You're a homo, so what? I'm from Las Vegas! I've seen much worse things than a gay guy." I laughed again, despite the frog in my throat and the tears I soaked Will's shirt with. "We're friends. And you're still the same Pete, right?"
He felt me nod with his hand and his shoulder.
"Good. I don't want you drooling over me or my pee pee." I released his hug and pushed him into the road. He smiled and looked at me with his arms open; an invitation to receive another hug.
I took his offer and stepped down from the side walk to hug him in the road. "God Will, you're so gay."
He pushed me away and laughed, "Says the gay!" We both ran to catch up to Greg and Hannah as I wiped away my tears and hocked a few loogies. They were walking in our direction.
"Oh my God, where did you guys disappear to? We freaked out when we turned around and you weren't there," Hannah asked.
"Oh, Peter here /insisted/ that we play leap frog all the way back to the dorms," Will chimed.
Greg rolled his eyes. "You guys are too much."
"Yeah, he wanted to do it so badly, but when we finally started he was too tired to go on."
"That's what she said," Greg chuckled. The four of us laughed before Hannah insisted that we get out of the chilly fall weather and into our respective dorms.
After about 15 minutes of walking, we were finally back in our building. I was unlocking my door when Will pointed at me and said, "Hey!"
I looked up from the lock at him, "What?"
"We're friends. Don't forget that." I smiled and wished him a good night.
Upon opening the door, I noticed that the light was on, so I looked in Kyle's direction, ready to greet him. He was stroking himself while watching some hot brunette girl getting nailed by a not-so-good-looking guy.
He blinked in my direction before panicking and covering himself with a t-shirt, the closest article of clothing nearby, and shutting his laptop.
"COME [back] LATER I WILL. (I'll come back later.)" I left the room, shut the door, and laughed myself all the way to Will's room. "You should have seen the look on his face when he saw me standing there!"
Will laughed with me as I told the story. I was laughing so hard that I was on the verge of crying for a second time that night.
"Did you like what you saw?" Will was doing the whole eyebrow thing again, with his elbow in my ribs.
I playfully swatted his arm away. "He's my roommate, I can't look at him that way."
"Well, you know I'm not gay or anything but I know a good looking guy when I see one."
"Kyle and I are friends. There are just certain things you don't do with friends." Will nodded in agreement. "/If/ we ever did anything with each other or dated, it'd be awkward living together if it ended."
Will nodded again. "You think he's gay?"
"Nah," I defended, "Kyle has talked about his ex-girlfriends before. Plus, he's kind of interested in a girl in his bio class."
It had been 15 minutes of so before I decided to return back to the room. I pushed the flashing (but silent) doorbell to our room before entering.
I opened the door slowly and laughed and pointed at a fully clothed Kyle.
"SORRY! BEFORE, YOU SAY 'COME LATE, I PARTY.' (Sorry! You said that you were partying and would come back late.)"
I laughed, "O-K, SOMETIMES EVERYONE MASTURBATE NEED. (It's okay, sometimes everyone needs to masturbate.)"
"THIS OUR ROOM. MASTURBATING, IT RUDE. (But it's /our/ room, it's still rude.)"
"O-K, I CARE DON'T. (It's okay, I don't care.)" He stood up and patted me on the back as he thanked me. I noticed that the hand he patted me with was the same hand he was jerking off with. "YOU GROSS, YOUR HAND TOUCH ME DON'T. (Gross, don't touch me with that hand!" I laughed.)
He rolled his eyes and said, "TOILET I GO, WASH HANDS, I FINISHED! I INCONSIDERATE NOT. (I went to the bathroom and washed my hands! I'm not that inconsiderate.)"
"NOW I SLEEP. I TIRED. GOOD NIGHT. PLEASE, JERKING OFF NONE. (I'm going to bed now. I'm tired.. Good night. And please no jerking off.)"
He shook his head in embarrassment before returning my good night.
This actually had turned out to be a good night. I told my best friend at school that I was gay, and he totally accepted me. And I got to see my gorgeous roommate naked, stroking his hot cock, for a few seconds. That was an image burned into my brain.
As hot as he was though, I knew he wasn't the guy for me. Kyle was a good friend. As he shut off the lights, I started imagining someone in the bed with me. He was cute, smart, funny, and kind. He kissed me on the lips and wished me a good night.
I opened my eyes and my imaginary lover had vanished. I looked at the ceiling of our dark room as a few thoughts crossed my mind. I had loving friends and a loving family. But when would I find someone who /loved/ me?
I looked at my clock.
2:34 AM.
It wasn't soon enough.
Hey guys, I'm trying to make the chapters a bit lengthier, so they might start taking a little longer to crank out and publish. The next chapter will be larger, so you'll have to wait a while! The encouragement you guys have been sending is what motivates me to write this story. I've also been receiving quite a few emails lately, so don't be upset with me if I don't write back right away! I've got a lot of messages in my inbox to respond to, but I want you guys to keep emailing me with your feedback or thoughts on the story. :) email me at nordictiger790@hotmail.com