WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2006 written on December 10th 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Richard E. Grant
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 9 - LORENZO, NOT GUILTY, AGAIN IN PRISON
As I said, Lorenzo was working as a warehouseman at that publishing firm. He was happy with his work and his employers seemed pleased with him.
He had been promoted to assistant supervisor and was really proud of this promotion, besides the fact that it included an increase in his salary.
But one day there was a big robbery at the publishing house. The police said that the thieves must have had an inside accomplice and, as chance would have it, they at once suspected Lorenzo because of his criminal record. Lorenzo swore he was innocent, but he was arrested as a suspect. As soon as I knew that, I rushed to see Stefano, asking him to be his defense lawyer. I absolutely believed Lorenzo to be innocent. Stefano accepted.
I could not meet with Lorenzo, because I wasn't related to him and his trial had not been held yet. I was really upset about all of this, even though we were able to exchange messages through Stefano. Lorenzo was depressed. Not being able to see him in person, to support him in his predicament, gave me a terrible sensation of impotence. Moreover, the trial date was set for several months out because the court was, needless to say, in recess.
This was the third time Lorenzo was in jail and, even though he was not a greenhorn and was able to defend himself, the fact he was once again inside, and innocent, really upset him.
And he was missing me like I missed him. After he'd been inside a while, he wasn't able to resist any more. So, when a twenty-one-year old boy arrived, Lorenzo took him for himself. That is, he persuaded him to have sex, to become his boy. The new inmate was far from being a saint and, although he declared he was straight, he had hustled for a living. He therefore accepted at once and without the slightest problem.
On the one hand, Lorenzo was regretting it, but on the other he was not able to renounce the sexual services of this boy who, it seems, was skilled in bed. Lorenzo was torn, but the boy, needing a protector, kept Lorenzo bound to him. Full of shame Lorenzo told Stefano, asking him to tell me, so I came to know about it. I told Stefano to tell Lorenzo that I understood and that the most important thing to me was only that he continue to love me and remember I was waiting for him. Lorenzo answered that he was deeply troubled because, if he really loved me, he would not have cheated on me with anyone. So... he was asking himself if he really deserved me, if his love for me was real...
I tried to reassure him but it was evident that Lorenzo's emotions were going from bad to worse. Blaming himself, weakness, being alone in an unjust situation all combined to make him feel more and more furious. Thus, one day, to protect his boy from molestation from another inmate, he got in a fight and badly wounded the other guy. He was charged with attempted murder!
So even though he was acquitted of the robbery, he had to stay inside for a new trial. He was sentenced to three years in prison, even though Stefano had succeeded in having the charge reduced third degree assault and battery.
After the verdict, Stefano managed to get authorization to have me visit him. I found Lorenzo terribly down and he was so ashamed of what he had done that he wanted to die. I whispered to him that I loved him. He shook his head no. I told him not to be silly, I loved him for real and anyway I would wait for him.
"Look for another lover, one better than me, please..." he said with wracked voice.
"I cannot; I'm in love with you."
"I don't deserve your love. I cheated on you, and now I'm in this mess because of a cheap hustler. Forget me."
"No, don't even think about that!"
"I... really, I don't deserve you. You are too good."
"That's bullshit. We are tied to each other, at this point, and we will not separate."
"Possibly... I'm weak, you know that... and so, perhaps... in a while... I'll find another boy in this prison."
"I don't care. I just hope he will be a good boy, able to give you what I cannot for the time you have to stay here."
"Let me go, Alberto."
"No! And if you don't promise me you'll try to stay okay, I'll stab somebody. Then they will put me here too and we can be together again."
He looked at me with eyes wide and understood I was absolutely not joking.
"Don't think such bullshit, Alberto. Don't even say such a thing."
"So then, you mustn't say such things either. You'll see; three years will pass in a hurry. Well... they will pass, anyway."
"But you, for three years, so... Look for a friend..."
"I don't know, honestly."
"One like Paolo was."
"Could be..."
"You have to promise me. If you promise, I will try to behave also, here inside, in order to be released as soon as possible."
"Alright, then, I promise. But I'll wait for you, understand?"
"Why are you so nice with me?"
"Because I love you, don't you know?" I answered.
He barely smiled and murmured, "Thank you..." then added, "But I really don't deserve you. I have not been able to resist... not even one month... you, instead, resist..."
"But I am not locked up in prison. Work, and friends... it's different isn't it? I know what it means being locked up here, day after day, I know perfectly."
"I love you, even if I did..."
"Even if, nothing! To me it's enough that you love me. We can write each other, and I'll come every time visits are allowed, I promise. I'm not leaving you alone, but you mustn't leave me. We will overcome this. And then we will be happier than before."
"To me... it'll be even more difficult than before, getting a job, afterwards."
"That goes without saying... but then, there is me, right? What am I worth to you?"
"You're sweet."
"I love you."
"I too love you, Alberto."
"Don't say it too aloud - the others might hear you." I said to him smiling, happy about the way he was looking at me while he was telling me he loved me.
I went to visit him whenever I could and we also often wrote to each other.
After two months, Lorenzo told me that he got a boy who was just eighteen years old who had been moved from the juvenile prison. The boy killed his step father who, having discovered he was gay, forced him to prostitute himself. His name was Mimmo. The rumor he was a gay boy preceded him and several inmates were rubbing their hands, waiting for a new little whore.
When Lorenzo saw him, lost, falsely self-assured, he took pity on him. Well, it was not only that; Mimmo was also a handsome and sweet boy. Mimmo had been "persuaded" to give himself to several men after he got to the prison. One day, Lorenzo went into the toilet and saw two inmates taking him, one fucking his ass and the other his mouth. The two men just smiled at Lorenzo and went on as if no one was there. Lorenzo waited, somewhat disturbed, until the two were done and, when they left, he went to the boy who looked at him, uncertain whether to pull up his trousers or not. Lorenzo decided to talk to the boy.
"Mimmo, would you like having sex with me?"
"With you? Sure, but why ask me? You only just have to fuck me, like the others do, don't you? I'm available to everyone, aren't I."
"No, I would like you to be my boy, as long as I remain inside. Get dressed."
"Your steady boy, you mean?"
"Yes."
"I'd like that, for sure, but the others..."
"They respect me, therefore they'll respect you too."
"Right, I know you almost killed the one who touched your boy. And yet you don't seem to be a bully, in spite of your reputation. You are even asking me if I want to be your boy, instead of just taking me and fucking me."
"No one is an object."
"I am used to being one. Also, before, in the juvenile... the fact that everybody knows I'm gay, puts me automatically at everybody's complete disposal, like an object. You know how things are, inside, don't you?"
"Yes, indeed. So then, do you accept?"
"You haven't even had sex with me. How do you know if I'll satisfy you? I like you, you are a real hunk."
"I like you too. I think we well fit together just fine. As long as it lasts, at least."
"Well, we can try. I... I'll do whatever it takes so you will not regret having taken me as your boy. Besides, I really like you; you are one of the handsomest men in here - I like the thought that you want to fuck me. Why don't you fuck me now?"
"Not here in the bogs - it's too depressing. I'd rather like having you in my bed. If you want it too, I'm confident I can have you moved to my cell."
"Sure I want it." Mimmo answered, gladly.
So they were together. The other inmates paid attention to the fact that Mimmo was Lorenzo's boy and stopped making any claims on the boy. Mimmo, besides being ready and happy to have sex with Lorenzo, did his utmost to please him by doing a thousand everyday chores, happy and smiling. I was happy for Lorenzo, who always told me everything and who also, because of the full devotion of the boy, was now more serene.
About me... I waited for Lorenzo one year. Then, one day at friend's place, I met a twenty-seven-year old man, one year younger than me. He was rather handsome, but above all likeable. I at once felt attracted to him and he too seemed interested in me. So we started to see each other, to phone each other. His name was Gaetano and he was a TV cameramen.
For a while I managed to not give him too much encouragement, but it was becoming more and more difficult because he started to intensely court me. So I told him about Lorenzo and that I was waiting for him, and that I absolutely didn't want to leave him. Gaetano told me that it was okay with him to just be a temporary lover, because he was really infatuated with me.
I was torn, but in the end I surrendered to him.
It happened on a Sunday. He came for lunch at my place. After the meal he helped me clean up and then, while I was washing the dishes and he was drying, he came up behind me and suddenly put his arms around my waist, pulled me up against him and kissed me on the neck. I felt his erection pushing against my crack.
"No, Gaetano, please..." I said, but quivered at the contact that, honestly, I had been missing and that I really enjoyed.
"I like you way too much... let yourself go. I don't want to take you away from your Lorenzo. We've already clearly talked about that, haven't we? Let yourself go."
I felt empty all at once - the contact felt too good and I liked him. I didn't resist him any more. I dried my hands while he was running his hands under my shirt and caressing my chest. I turned in his arms and our mouths met and his erection was brushing against mine through the material of our pants. I was totally aflame. Honestly I don't know which of us pushed the other toward the bed, who started to pull off the other's clothes, who first started to suck the other's cock. I just know that in a short time we were wrapped up in a passionate sixty-nine and that I was feeling my head spin, almost as if I were drunk. I was like a starving man. I felt wanted and, for sure, I wanted him. When, almost at the same time we started to tease each other's hole, we knew that we both desired to fuck and be fucked. We were ready for each other without any more hesitation.
"I want you, Alberto." He sweetly whispered.
"Yes..." I excitedly murmured.
Docile, I let him put me into position and welcomed his quivering rod, feeling growing pleasure as it sank inside.
I saw his smile increase, radiant, while he was entering me, "Oh, Alberto... How long I have wanted you. Tell me, you like it don't you? I like you crazily... what are you feeling?"
"You're strong... it's too good... I needed it..." I panted, my senses seized in a frenzy.
"Yes... you feel it? I'm all inside..."
"I feel it... it's big, good... go on... fuck me..."
"Yeeees..." he said starting to move inside me, in and out, in a slow but strong rhythm. When he was close to reaching his orgasm, he stopped and slowly slipped away, "I don't want to come yet... now you take me... but don't come... We have to enjoy each other for a long time... very long... fuck me, go on..." he panted, offering himself to me. I plunged into him and sank with a few, determined pushes. He happily moaned, tossing under me. "Oh, Alberto, how good - you wanted it, didn't you? You like it, don't you?"
"Yes... I needed it... you are tight, warm... I really needed it... both taking it and fucking you..."
"I too, with you."
I liked that "with you" a lot and didn't reflect, at the moment, that it was a declaration of love. Lorenzo, when I told him about Gaetano, seemed glad. He wanted to know how it started, how we made love and I told him everything, because I didn't want to keep secrets from him, and I didn't have any false modesty. He too, by the way, told me about his relationship with Mimmo down to the smallest detail - in this way we were able to share something in spite of being forced to be separated.
"Mimmo takes pleasure, every chance he gets, to kneel in front of me, pull my cock out and lick it. Or, sometimes, he lowers his trousers and offers me his little ass. But he never wants me to come, because he wants me to come at night, when I can fuck him on the bed. You know, I managed to have him moved to my cell. He is hot and skilled, and knows how to really satisfy me. And yet I miss you so terribly..."
"I miss you a lot too."
"Is Gaetano skilled in bed?"
"Yes..."
"More than me?!"
"No, because you give me a lot of love also."
"But he gives you pleasure?"
"Yes, much pleasure..."
"Is his cock big?"
"Like yours, more or less. But I'd rather have yours."
"Do you think of me?"
"Always. Even when I'm having sex with Gaetano, I close my eyes and dream of being in your arms. Gaetano knows he is just a substitute, nothing more, to me."
"I, at times... when I have sex with Mimmo at night, in my bed, I sometimes call him Alberto."
"Doesn't he feel bad?"
"No, he knows I'm in love with you. He says nothing, he's a sweet boy. When I talk to him about you, he listens and smiles and says he hopes to find somebody who loves him like we love each other some day. He's sentenced for a lot of years, the poor boy. Who knows if, when I come out, he can find another protector?"
"You like Mimmo, don't you?"
"He's a dear boy, I'm fond of him. And yet he's nothing compared to you."
"If you weren't with me, could you fall in love with him?"
"I don't think so, but I don't know. And you with Gaetano?"
"Possibly yes, but there is no danger, as long as I have you..."
"Won't you get tired waiting for me?"
"That's impossible..." I answered him with a sweet smile and he blushed slightly, pleased.
Then, with a thin voice, he said, "I really love you, you know?"
"Yes, I know. And I too love you, a lot."
"Time, in here, never passes, without you."
"I would like to be here, inside, with you."
"No, I would rather to be outside with you." He said in answer and we both laughed.
I was pleased to feel he was less sad, to see him smile and also laugh at times.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 10
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