WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2006 written on December 10th 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Richard E. Grant
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 8 - LORENZO GIVES HIMSELF TO ME FOREVER
We continued to kiss, to caress each other. I felt his body quivering under mine, and that was good. I could feel his desire for me, and it was beautiful. I wasn't able to restrain myself anymore and he guessed it, so he opened to me and welcomed me in with such a joyous smile that I melted with happiness. Then I remembered. He told me he didn't physically enjoy penetration so I stopped.
"What's up?" he asked with a slightly worried glance.
"It bothers you, doesn't it?"
"It's not important. I'll get used to it. Go on, I like it."
"You like it?"
"Yes, I swear. Don't you?
"I'm mad about it."
"So, then, go on. I'm happy giving you pleasure, believe me."
"But I would like you to..."
"Shush! I'm happy, sincerely. Don't think about me."
"I can't not think about you - I love you!"
"I you too. Go on, tell me with all your body, now, that you love me. Make me feel it, please. Let me feel that I'm yours, that you want me."
"But I want you inside me too."
"Now kiss me, fuck me, and love me!"
In the morning, when I woke up to go to the kiosk, he was still asleep. I asked myself if I should wake him or not, but decided to let him sleep. I prepared his breakfast and wrote him a message. Before leaving, I again admired him - he was a really beautiful man and was sleeping with a relaxed, quiet, peaceful expression, almost as if he were smiling. Who knows if, and how long, it will go on? I asked myself. Bah... we'll see!
When Paolo came to work, he saw the happiness in my eyes. I told him that Lorenzo said he was in love with me.
"I'm happy for you, Alberto. I know how much you care for him. I hope you two can be happy together. Will you introduce me to him?"
"Sure. But I don't know if it will last. He is straight, in reality, and I'm afraid than sooner or later he will go back to his old ways."
"It's not true. No straight man would ever be a bottom, you know that; he would never take it in the ass, if he had a choice. Nobody forced Lorenzo to give himself to you, not inside and even less now."
When I went back home, he was not there. He had tidied everything up and a note was on the table. It said he went out to look for a job, and he would call me. The note started with the words, "Dear love"...
He called in the evening. He told me that at the ex-con society he got a promise they would help him to find a job, and that he tried by himself at three places, but without success.
"Did you already eat?" I asked him.
"Yes, a little."
"Don't you want to come and have supper with me? I'm cooking right now."
"Yes, I'll come."
"And then you can stay with me again."
"Thank you."
"So you can also meet Paolo, when he comes with the receipts. I think you'll like him, he's a dear boy."
"But will he like me? He could see me as his rival, don't you think? I took you away from him, didn't I?"
"He always knew I was waiting for you. He knew that between us there wasn't love, just pleasure."
"Did you like him a lot?"
"Never as much as I like you. We fit well together, that's all."
"I don't think I'll allow another man or boy to take you away from me, understand? You're way too special for me to risk losing you."
"Don't exaggerate. Come home soon!" I said, pleased by his words.
When he got home we didn't have supper at once - we made love first. He caressed and kissed me in a very sensuous way.
And he wanted me to take him again, "I want to get used to it fast," he explained with a warm and tender smile.
While we were eating supper, Paolo came. I introduced them. Paolo stayed about an hour and we chatted. At first Lorenzo was somewhat tense and embarrassed, but he gradually relaxed and they found each other likeable, to my relief.
When Paolo left, we went to bed and finally Lorenzo fucked me. Even with all the energy of his virility, he did it with an incredible tenderness. It was really beautiful. While he was making love to me, he was looking at me with adoring eyes and it was evident he cared more than anything about my pleasure, while getting his own good share. I felt terribly happy. We fell asleep, spooned together.
Just before slipping into sleep, he said, "Wake me up in the morning. I have to continue looking for a job. I want to find it in a hurry."
"I'm sorry I cannot have you work in the kiosk with me, but I cannot fire Paolo; he doesn't deserve it. And for three at this time there wouldn't be enough profit..."
"No, I don't want you to give me a job. I have to be able to support myself, to be sure I deserve you."
"To deserve me?"
"Sure. I want you to be proud of me."
"I already am."
"I always lived as a crook; I want to change my life, now. For you. Or rather... for us."
"We met inside... you certainly should not be ashamed in front of me. I have a record too, don't I?" I said with a quiet smile.
"But you were innocent."
"You believed it?"
"Indeed, I always believed it. But I wasn't innocent." he said and shut up.
We fell asleep, slowly.
During the night I woke up several times - I looked at him, caressed him and he, in his sleep, smiled. When he was sleeping, as well as when we were making love, he looked ten years younger - he almost seemed younger than me. Our seven years difference seemed to disappear like magic.
He didn't come to live with me immediately. Not until he found a job. He did, however, sleep at my place almost every night and it was like living together - the only difference was that he didn't bring his things to my place. He even always carried his tooth brush with him.
When, at last, he found a job, it was thanks to the ex-con society. He was hired as warehouseman for a big publishing firm. His salary was moderate. Only the president and the personnel director knew he had had a previous conviction and told him it was better nobody else knew about it. They suggested that he say he had worked abroad. They treated him fairly and he was happy.
Thus, he decided to leave his flat and come live with me. He wanted to share all the household expenses.
He was so very sweet. I felt great with him. Also, physically, he got used to being penetrated, enough that it was now giving him pleasure. He always was happy and content. He asked me to take him to a gay bar sometimes. Lorenzo was really a beautiful young man, and therefore many were jealous of me. But he, when he started to make new friends, had eyes only for me. Paolo told me one day that other friends had told him that it was evident that Lorenzo was crazy about me. And, of course, I was totally crazy about him.
Meanwhile, Paolo found a lover, Stefano. At first I was surprised - he was a forty-six-year-old man, twenty-six years older than Paolo. They met at a gay bar. When I met him, however, I saw he was a remarkable man and he really loved Paolo. Therefore I felt reassured. I became aware he had an almost protective attitude toward Paolo. Paolo decided to come out to his parents (at first it was a tragedy, but then they resigned themselves) and went to live with his man.
Sefano was a lawyer. He had a really beautiful apartment and was fairly wealthy even though he didn't show off. We became friends. Paolo wanted to continue to work at my kiosk and Stefano wasn't opposed - he really cared about Paolo feeling free to do as he pleased. Stefano wasn't a handsome man, not in my opinion at least, but he was a really easy going person. Above all, they loved each other, and this was great even just to be seen. Stefano had a slight tendency, to spoil Paolo, but the boy never took advantage of it. They were a really great couple. Therefore, I was deeply pleased when Stefano told that Lorenzo and I were a perfect couple.
Yes, I was feeling terribly good with Lorenzo. The more time that passed, the more I was feeling secure with him. And he with me. The first few times, when he talked about a nice woman co-worker, or a beautiful girl he met, I felt somewhat worried, but soon I stopped worrying, because Lorenzo always told me everything, all he was feeling and thinking, and everything that happened to him. Therefore I knew I had nothing to fear about something happening to threaten our relationship; there was nothing I was in the dark about.
We celebrated two years together. Stefano threw a party for us at his place where we invited some friends - there were a dozen people. Lorenzo was happy and moved; he didn't expect such a beautiful party. And on that occasion we exchanged rings. He decided it, and I was happy - it was just a symbol, but after all mankind lives on symbols. These words are nothing but symbols, for instance. And the rings were symbolic, meaning he wanted to be definitively tied to me forever.
Back home, that evening, when we hit the bed, Lorenzo embraced me and asked, "Are you happy, Alberto?"
"Yes, a lot... and you?"
"Immensely. I didn't think such happiness could exist, and I found it thanks to you. I would never have believed, the first time we made love inside, that it would become such a beautiful thing. Not even when I started to understand that what I was feeling for you was love. I'm happy belonging to you; I'm happy you're mine. And then, also physically, I am totally fulfilled, thanks to you. I love you to die for... and I love to be loved by you."
"Make love to me, my love!"
"Yes, and then you make love to me me, and then again, and again... I'll not let you sleep tonight."
"Mmmhhh, I like your program..." I answered and kissed him.
He didn't lie. We didn't sleep a wink. When we were feeling too excited, we stopped, lightly caressing each other, until we could resume making love without reaching a climax. I loved the joyous and passionate way Lorenzo made love with me. We let ourselves achieve orgasm only in the morning when, unhappily, the time came for both of us to go to work. And yet, that day, I didn't feel tired at all. I was thinking about that long night of ardent and passionate intercourse and felt happy. I was thinking about his wonderful body, about his powerful member, about his small, firm, welcoming ass and became aroused over and over. I was longing for the evening to come again so we could start once more making love together.
Two years had elapsed and I felt, at the same time, like we had always been together and yet like each time we made love was our first time, when you feel the pleasure of discovering your partner. In our relationship there was no habit, no routine, and no boredom. On the contrary! But what gave me the most joy was the awareness that I was making him happy.
I asked myself several times: but how about Lorenzo, is he really gay? Or bisexual? Or what? But then, after all, it wasn't really important - the only important thing was that we seemed born for each other, and that we understood that. I think that happiness should not to be analyzed too much.
Also the relationship between Stefano and Paolo was proceeding nicely, but on a different basis than ours - from time to time, even if not often, they allowed each other an adventure without hiding it, or sometimes they did a threesome with a mutual conquest. I could never have done that. But everyone is different and the most important thing was that they were happy in that way.
I was not jealous of Lorenzo, because he never gave me the smallest reason to be. But sometimes I asked myself: how would I react if he told me had had an adventure? I think I would feel pain, even though I couldn't be sure. After all, isn't the really important thing just to really love each other? Sure, if he had an adventure, I would have thought that Lorenzo needed something I was not able to give him and that would sadden me. In any case, such a thing never happened and these really were just useless, idle thoughts.
Also Lorenzo was not jealous of me. He totally trusted me. And it was for sure that I didn't want to betray his trust.
Once Stefano defined us as an old-fashioned couple; this didn't annoy me at all. Seeing couples around us, gay or not, start and then break up, gave me a painful feeling for my friends. They were not able to understand the beauty of being so totally free, to be able to quietly say no to the seductive situations one could encounter. It was not that we decided not to cheat on each other - the thought that we could have sex with another person simply didn't even cross our minds. It was spontaneous; it required no effort, no toil. And this seemed really great to me.
Of course, at times life brings you unforeseen situations. Therefore you cannot decide in advance, just because they are unforeseen, how you will behave. I well understood that. And so with Lorenzo, even though he had to suffer before he could understand it. Lorenzo has an extraordinary sensitiveness, a sensitiveness that when we first met he had been able to carefully hide because, when you are inside, you have to be hardened to survive, but that totally went away as we lived together.
One could think it is my infatuation with Lorenzo that makes me say such good things about him - is it possible he has no faults, this Lorenzo? Certainly he has some, as everyone does. But, they are mere trifles as compared to his inner beauty.
We never quarreled. Of course we had some differences of opinion, but they were always overcome and clarified thanks to the love uniting us. Also, we always told each other at once, with extreme sincerity, if we found something in the other that we didn't like or that disturbed us. Add to this our desire to make our beloved feel good, our desire to live for his happiness, and life was close to perfect. Perfection doesn't belong to this world, it is said, and yet I believe that we two, for what is possible for human beings, did get really close to it.
Life, it is known, is never all roses, but it remains a wonderful garden anyway, especially when there are two persons to cultivate it. Love is a great, extraordinary force, but it has to be carefully and patiently cultivated with the care and patience that both of us have, thanks to heaven.
But, roses also have thorns and sometimes we get pricked. Hopefully, the wounds are minor and the pain is short lived.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 9
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