WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2006 written on December 10th 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Richard E. Grant
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 3 - I LET MYSELF GO WITH SERGIO
"You like me? Why?"
"Because you are clean. Simple. You don't put up airs. But you have a strong character. In short, I like you."
"If I didn't know you were straight, I'd take that for a declaration of love." I answered, laughing.
He looked at me with such intensity that I shivered, but he didn't answer back. Then he said, "Anyway, now you know that you can rely on me. Like before only more so. For anything. If the boss asks me to be your body-guard, you can be sure nothing will happen to you in here."
"Not even if I tell everyone I'm a fag?" I asked, amused.
Lorenzo made a dark face, but answered, "No, not even. But I can't see any reason for you to do that. What need do you have to tell anyone? What will you gain? If you want a boy, you can have him, without needing to say that you... Like all the others who have a boy but aren't fags, right? Do you want one?"
"No, it's not that. And anyway, the one I like would never do it with me," I said, looking in his eyes and saying to myself that for sure he would not catch what was implied in my answer. That is that I would like him to be my "man".
"But if you tell me who he is, I could ask him for you, if you don't feel like asking him directly."
"No, forget it. I don't want to embarrass him and I don't want to embarrass you."
"For you, I would ask him, willingly."
"Because they pay you?"
"No, silly man! Because I'm your friend. Do you think this is so strange?"
"No, sorry. But let's forget it, alright?"
"As you wish."
I was feeling a strong urge to tell him I wanted him. He could even have accepted, who knows. But I didn't dare.
I had been inside for about six months, when I found myself alone with a boy my age. We were cleaning the storeroom. His name was Sergio. I knew he was the steady boy of one of the bosses. He had been in prison for about two years.
Suddenly Sergio said, "You've got to explain something for me Alberto."
"Yes? What?" I asked, looking at him.
"How come a well built, good looking young guy like you is not someone's boy?
"Possibly because I'm not game, you think?"
"No... I too was not game, but... I had no choice. I accepted being his boy or I would have to go with anyone, like Lino, and between the two possibilities... I understood it was better to give my ass to one than to everyone ... And then, also, it's an outlet for me too, since inside we have no other possibilities."
"Do you have a girlfriend, outside?"
"I had one. But she didn't feel like waiting for me."
"You never did it with a man before?"
"Are you joking? Well, besides when I was a kid, the usual wanking amongst friends, nothing like... this. I'm straight; I take it only because I was forced. But you?"
"I... I did it also before."
"You mean you like it?"
"Yes."
"But here, inside, you do it with anybody?"
"No."
"How's that?"
"It's so. Maybe I just haven't found the right guy."
"But you would do it? With the right guy, I mean."
"Sure," I answered, amused by his curiosity and disbelief.
"For instance... would you do it with me?"
"Well, possibly," I answered, thinking that Sergio was not bad and that, after all, it was really becoming difficult doing nothing. Then I added, "But you... if your man knows..."
"Who says he has to know, right?" Sergio answered with a mischievous smile, and with his hand between my legs in an explicit invitation. I didn't step back and he felt me getting a hard-on. He fondled me for a while, in silence, then said, with a very low voice, "I'd be game... doing it with you."
I didn't answer. He pulled me to him and kissed me on the mouth in an intimate and hot way. I got aroused and responded to his kiss.
Continuing to kiss me, he pulled my cock out and whispered, "Push down my trousers, go on. Take me."
It was the first time somebody asked me to be the top and, differently than I thought before, the idea excited me. So I opened his trousers and pulled them down to his hips. He turned around and offered himself to me. I tried to enter him.
"Put some spit on it, or it won't enter." he murmured.
I lubricated my dick with my saliva and tried again. And I was entering him. And I liked it. I felt strong, powerful, and full of vigor. It was a mix of good sensations.
When I was deeply inside him, I started to move in and out, with real gusto. Also, in spite of the fact that he just told me he was not gay, I could tell he was enjoying it. In fact, he pushed against me and wriggled his ass, which increased my pleasure.
It was my first fucking somebody, and Sergio was really a well built boy. I caressed his chest and belly, I fondled his turgid genitals, I masturbated him while pumping inside of him. I made him turn his head back so I could kiss him on the mouth. Sergio lightly moaned and groaned, evidently happy for a fuck that he had probably desired for quite a while.
I was so excited that after a few strokes I came, and he too came with me.
When at last I slipped out of him, panting and sated, he said, "Yeah, with you it is better than with him. We'll do it again, agreed?"
"But it's dangerous. If he finds out..."
"We won't let him know; we'll be cautious."
"But we weren't this time - somebody could have come in and caught us."
"No, I put a bucket behind the door, if somebody had opened it we would have heard in time."
"You foresaw everything, phew! So then, how long did you think about it, doing it with me?"
"For some time. I just asked myself why you were with nobody. I like how you fuck. But I'd also like fucking you, one time or another."
"We'll see. Come on, let's get back to work."
"Promise me we'll do it again."
"We'll see."
I enjoyed it, in reality, but I knew how dangerous it was doing it with a boss' boy, how much danger I could have been in. I asked myself if I should tell Lorenzo and decided that I should keep quiet. In reality, I wanted Lorenzo. I could not tell him; I would have been ashamed. I felt almost as if I had cheated on him. I know it's stupid, but that was how I was feeling.
Sergio insisted, "Come on, tell me we'll do it again."
"But you, didn't you tell me you do it only because he forced you? That you're straight?" I said, somewhat angrily.
"Here inside so many things change. Now I don't know if I'm a fag or not. I possibly always was and didn't know. And anyway, I truly enjoyed it with you."
"Not with him?"
"Well, I have become somewhat accustomed to him, but... especially when he makes me suck him, I don't really like it. But I'd suck yours. I like you a lot. I never felt such an attraction, before. For a man, I mean. I'd like being your boy and for you to be mine."
"You know that's not possible, don't you?"
"But why? It's okay as long as he doesn't suspect. At night I'd continue going in his bed, like always, but during the day, you and I, we could..."
"Put that out of your head; it's better," I said.
But Sergio had really lost his head over me, and so there was a second, and then a third time. And the third time he fucked me, and I must say that I liked it a lot, even though I was dreaming of doing it with Lorenzo.
Some months elapsed and the sex meetings with Sergio were becoming more and more frequent and more hot and pleasurable, even though there was no feeling other than lust between us. Now we were taking turns fucking each other, one time each. And Sergio was more and more involved in our clandestine relationship.
The odd thing is that inside a prison, in some ways you live under everybody's eyes without privacy, but in other ways a thousand secrets are jealously hidden.
But not hidden well enough.
Segio's man started to suspect something, or possibly somebody saw us once and reported to him. The fact is that his man said nothing. But one day, just after I ate lunch, I felt a horrible pain in my guts and fell on the floor writhing and slobbering. Only Lorenzo's quick thinking, having me immediately taken to the infirmary where they did a gastric lavage, saved my life. Someone had put a lethal dose of poison in my food. I was in bed, unconscious, for almost two days.
When I recovered my senses, Lorenzo was near me.
"They tried to poison you. But you're now out of danger. Tell me what happened." he said serious, looking in my eyes.
"I don't know... nothing happened..." I weakly answered, still feeling dazed, but fully understanding why it happened.
"Don't play smart with me. Anyway... I already know what was going on."
"So then, why are you asking me?" I said, surly.
"Because I don't know the details, even though I can imagine them. After you fell on the floor, Sergio was kicked out by his boss and now is everybody's whore. Two and two makes four, it's not hard to see what happened. But I want to know the details, or won't be able to do my job."
"Anyway, I'm not your boy." I retorted, sullen.
"Bur you're under my protection."
"A nice protection."
"Don't play smart, I told you, and I'll say it again. Spit it out, everything, and now, understand?"
I understood. It was not smart to jerk him around too much, so I told him everything, from beginning to end, what happened between Sergio and I. He listened without interrupting me, but I saw he had a very angry look on his face.
When I had told him everything, he said, "I guessed it. YOU KNOW you weren't supposed to do that, didn't you? Why did you do it? If you liked that boy, why didn't you just tell me? I could, maybe, have found the right way to... or if not him, another nice boy, who knows. But how can I protect you if you don't tell me everything? If you were killed, then they'd make me pay for it, possibly. Do you like Sergio that much?"
"No, not particularly, it's just that he insisted and... and I was really horny, so..."
"Not particularly, you say, yet you got yourself into trouble! If you had liked him, then what fucking shit would you have been up to?" Lorenzo exclaimed and, clearly angry, scolded me for a long time, with a low but worked up voice.
Partly because I was weak and partly because I felt bad seeing him so furious with me, I was not able to hold back my tears any more and, even though I clamped my eyes shut, they started to run down my cheeks.
When Lorenzo became aware that I was crying, he stopped at once. Then, with a more normal voice, almost sweet, "It's useless to cry, now. You've just got to promise me that from now on you'll confide in me." I nodded. He continued, "I thought you considered me a friend and that you trusted me." I nodded vigorously and opened my eyes to look at him. Through my veil of tears, I saw that he was now looking at me with a sweet smile. With his fingers, lightly, he wiped the tears from my cheeks, in a kind of caress. "Forgive me, I didn't want to treat you so badly, but..." he said.
His hand lingered on my cheek and I shuddered. I turned my face just a little so that his fingers were on my lips - I kissed them.
He started to move his hand away, but I put my hand on his and kissed it again, and murmured, looking into his eyes, "Renzo... I like you."
"I like you too, boy, therefore I would like being a true friend."
"Renzo..."
"What?" he asked, sweetly.
"I want to be your boy."
"You? My boy?" he asked, amazed.
I put his hand to my face and kissed it again, then said with an emotional voice, "I want to be yours."
"But, Alberto..." he said hesitantly.
"Please... I... I... have wanted that since the first day I saw you... I just never dared ask you. Make me yours, Renzo, please... Don't you like me?"
"Yes, you're a handsome boy, sweet; yes I like you, but..."
"But?"
"You're my friend, you're different from the others. You're not a half woman. You would never be just a piece of ass to me where I go to get my rocks off, you understand?"
"But I'm gay and you know it. I would like to give you pleasure. I would be happy if I was the one giving you joy, really. Make me yours and I'll never look at anybody else, I swear!"
"Alberto..." he murmured, evidently dumbfounded, but his hand on my cheek, was now lightly caressing me, and his eyes were staring into mine with an intense look that made me shudder all over with pleasure.
I weakly smiled him and, in a whisper, said, "Why don't you kiss me?"
He seemed almost bewildered by that request, but then I saw his face bending to mine and his lips lightly touched mine and he kissed me. At first it was a brother's kiss, a friend's, but then with the tip of my tongue I touched his lips. And, the tip of his tongue met mine and started to lightly play with it, until the kiss became intimate and passionate. I was so moved that I was trembling.
When he parted from me, I asked him in a whisper, "Do you want me?"
"I... I like you, Alberto. You really want to be mine?"
"Yes. If you want me, I'll be only yours. I'll do anything you want, as you want. If you want me to be your woman, I will be, but make me yours, please."
"No, not that, you aren't a half woman. You're different from Lino, you're a man."
"But for you..."
"I don't want you to change. I like you as you are."
"So, then, will you take me as your boy?"
"I like you, but... I desire you, but..."
"But? What's the problem?" I pressed him.
"I don't know..."
"Don't you want me?"
"I want you, sure..." he murmured and again kissed me.
I was happy. This time it was a passionate kiss without reserve, and he held me in his arms. My hands were caressing the nape of his neck and his back, and I felt his shudders.
"Take me..." I begged.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 4
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