WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2006 written on December 10th 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Richard E. Grant
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"WRITINGS FROM THE PRISON" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 10 - WAITING FOR EACH OTHER
In prison, Lorenzo was going to the gym and also some education classes, to pass the time. He also worked in the shop. Mimmo followed him everywhere. Once, I told Lorenzo I would like to meet Mimmo and told him that I brought a cake for the boy.
"He will be glad. He never gets visitors, the poor boy. He's really alone in the world. Why don't you write to him once in a while?"
"Yes, sure, I can do that."
"Do it. He will feel less lonely."
"You feel affection for him, don't you?"
"Yes. There is a guy here who is serving a life sentence. But he is a good man and I think he likes Mimmo. I'm thinking that I will give the boy to him when I get out. I don't want Mimmo to become everybody's whore again. He doesn't deserve that."
"There isn't a lot of time left until you get out."
"Possibly less than I thought... you know, 'good behavior' and similar bullshit. Anyway, any time is still too much."
"I know."
"Will Gaetano give me his place? Like Paolo did?"
"Sure. Anyway he has no choice. Our understanding was clear and he knows I love you."
"And if he changes his mind? I have the feeling that Gaetano, from what you're telling me, is in love with you."
"No, I don't think so... anyway I'm not in love with him. I feel okay, for the moment, but he can never replace you."
"But maybe he hopes for that." Lorenzo said, looking me in the eyes and I thought that he was more than just a little worried.
I said nothing, but thought about what Lorenzo had said.
As a consequence, when I saw Gaetano, I brought up the subject with him. "Gaetano... how do you feel about me?"
"I like you."
"Yes, I know, but... is there more?"
"What more?"
"Are you in love with me, possibly?"
He denied it, but was embarrassed. So I insisted.
"Well, for me you are becoming more and more important," he at last admitted.
"But you know I'm in love with Lorenzo, don't you? And that he will soon be out, if he gets credit for good behavior. When he comes everything has to stop between us."
"Well, that's not necessarily true."
"No, Gaetano. It IS true. I like you; if I didn't have Lorenzo I could even fall in love with you, but... You know that, don't you?"
"Yes, I know, even though..."
"It will be better if we stop seeing each other right now, then," I proposed, when I understood that he hoped we could continue having sex even after Lorenzo got out of prison.
"Now? But why? We still have a few months, don't we?" he said in alarm, pained, and his voice tone made my decision stronger.
"It would be easier doing it now. For you, I mean."
"But I..."
"Gaetano, if you weren't in love with me... I didn't recognize it, I've been blind. Lorenzo understood it, from what I told him."
"You tell him everything? Even about you and me?"
"Sure, I couldn't do anything differently. To me Lorenzo is everything, he is more important than any thing, more than myself. How could I not tell him everything?"
"And... isn't he jealous?"
"No, because he knows I truly love him."
"How lucky is he. I should have met you before."
I understood what he meant, and felt pity for him, but this just strengthened my decision to put a stop to our relationship. And I regretted that I had given him so much freedom in his feelings for me. I was aware that I was hurting him, and I regretted that also. I told him how I was feeling.
But he answered, "No... you have always been clear, but... I have deceived myself thinking I could win you over. After all, I have not been honest with you; I wanted to take you away from him. And I didn't succeed," He said in a bitter tone.
"Are you angry with me?"
"No... you should be the one angry with me, now that I've confessed what..." he said, not daring to look me in the eyes.
"I'm not angry with you, Gaetano. But I really believe it will be better to stop making love now, you and I."
"As you want. But I'll miss you."
"You'll find someone else who can love you."
"Yes..."
I could feel the sadnes in Gaetano's voice and, sincerely, I was sorry for him, but I couldn't help it.
When I told Lorenzo, he didn't say anything, but I could tell by his expression that, in reality, he was glad. After a few days it was his turn to tell me that he had managed to have Mimmo moved to the cell of his friend who was in for life and that, therefore, the sex was also over between him and Mimmo. But he asked me to continue writing to the boy and to bring something for him.
"When I get outside, we will write him together and we'll send him a parcel from time to time - you should see how happy he is when he receives your letters at mail call. He always makes me read them. He is a really good boy."
"You did a lot for him..."
"And he for me."
"Will you miss him, during these last few days?" I asked.
"No more than you will miss Gaetano, I think. I'm counting down the days."
"Did they tell you when they'll free you?"
"Not yet, precisely, but the director told me he's asked release for good behavior, and he's confident it will be granted. So says the director, at least."
"Let's cross our fingers."
"Yes. I really want you... badly."
"You know, I asked Paolo if he can manage the kiosk for a week or more, when you get out, with the boy I hired - so we can take a trip, just the two of us."
"A honeymoon?" Lorenzo merrily asked.
"Yes, right. I think we both need it."
"Where will you take me?"
"I was thinking about a cruise."
"Wonderful... where?"
"What do you think about the Aegean islands?"
"Yes... but then I'll need to find a job, and this time it'll be more difficult than before."
"I was thinking... business is going very well at the kiosk. You can work with me, can't you?"
"But then we would have to work different shifts and we'll have little time to be together."
"Not much less than if you had a different job. And I thought that, with four of us, we can be open all day long - we would be the only 24-hours kiosk in town and business would just improve."
"Possibly yes. If I'm not able to find anything, that could work. We will see. But first, our honeymoon."
"Are you happy?"
"I will be even happier when I can at last be with you again. I'll be happy anywhere with you, believe me."
"Aren't you missing Mimmo, now?" I again asked him.
"And you Gaetano?" he asked with a sweet smile.
"No. I miss you."
"The same for me. You can't guess how important you are to me."
"Yes, I can!"
"Really?"
"Sure. Just as important as you are to me, love." I whispered.
He looked at me with laughing and happy eyes and murmured, "Do you know that now I'm aroused? If you just could touch me!"
"We will be able, soon..."
I too was terribly aroused - it was enough for me seeing him to desire him and I was pleased I had the same effect on him. I knew I really belonged to him and he belonged to me, in spite of any adventures we could have had or we would have. I would have loved to kiss him, even there in front of the guards.
At times I was so astounded by my happiness and my luck in having met Lorenzo, that I was thinking, almost with worry, how long could it last? Beautiful things never last forever. Well... not bad things either, luckily.
At last the day came for Lorenzo to be released. This time he knew I would be there waiting for him. When he came out of the prison gate with Stefano, I got out of Stefano's car and went to meet him. We embraced tightly. Then we got in Stefano's car and he took us home. We were sitting in the back seat, holding hands, our fingers intertwined, happy to finally be able even to just touch each other. Stefano didn't want to come upstairs with us - he guessed we wanted to be alone for a while, but he told us he would come back that evening to take us to have supper at his place, together with Paolo.
We went upstairs, to our one room flat. As soon as we closed the door behind us, we embraced tightly, oh so tightly, and kissed for a long time with strength, with passion, thirsty for each other. It was wonderful to finally experience again the intensity of reciprocal desire. I felt his hands searching all over my body, exploring me as if to recapture the familiar sensations that we had not been able to enjoy for such a long time. It was really wonderful being in his arms, squeezing him in mine; feeling his excitement growing in unison with mine.
"I missed you so much I was going crazy," He murmured.
"I missed you terribly too," I answered, and the happiness I felt at being finally again in his arms was such, and so strong, that I felt like crying.
"Come..." he said, pulling me towards our bed. I followed him like I was in a trance, ecstatic knowing that the intensity of his desire was equal to mine.
We took our clothes off and then he pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me, covering me with his body, embracing and kissing me with yearning passion. I girdled his waist with my legs in a silent, total offering of myself. He understood my desire and, seconding my moves, put himself in position so that his beautiful, hard cock started to rummage around between my buttocks in search of my palpitating hole. He found it, settled on it, started to push, to open me up and I gave a light, happy sigh, closing my eyes to savor it.
Continuing to open his route inside me, he caressed my cheek and whispered, "Open your eyes - I want to read in them your love, desire, and pleasure at being with me again."
I complied and saw his bright, warm and sweet glance melting with mine, while his beautiful rod was again taking ownership of what was due him, sinking inside me with tender vigor.
"God, how much I love you, Lorenzo!" I murmured.
"I do too, Alberto. You are my life. Nobody can ever replace you inside my heart."
"I love feeling you again inside me."
"Yes... But I too, later... do you promise me?"
"Everything you want, my love. You know that I totally belong to you, don't you? Totally and forever."
"I know. You have shown it in every way... you do! What would I be now, without you?"
"And I, then? I'd be nothing, without you."
"I adore you..." he murmured.
And we made love without needing any more words - our bodies were speaking for us.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 11
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