***************************************************************************** Author's Note:
This is not a happy story, nor does it include sex or overt romance of any sort. This is also not a true story, it came from the depths of my mind when I was particularly depressed and not happy with life. If you would like to offer constructive criticism then please email at stat_ice@hotmail.com. I am also very interested in hearing what you think in general. I do have a story line to continue here, but am not sure if I should continue.
Copyright 2001 by author *****************************************************************************
"Someone is going to die when they listen to me ...."
- Disturbed " Voices"
That is so true. I thought as I sat in the lounge chair by the pool in the backyard cradling my father berretta 9mm in my lap.
"I can't keep doing this.... everyone would be better off if I just go now before the whole world find out my secret and my family is shamed...."
My plan is simple, one shot to my head and then if everything goes right, I will fall into the pool, to make sure that I am gone...Mom and Dad won't be back from work for at least two hours.
"Well, there is no time like now..." I chuckle to myself as I stand and put my back towards the pool.
One deep breathe, another deep breathe and place the barrel of the black 9mm in my mouth.
As I take one last breath, a small trickle of tear runs down my face. And pull the trigger.
I feel like such an idiot, my best friend tells me he is gay and loves me and I act like such a fucking ass. I am no better than some damn redneck. The problem now was getting the courage to go back and apologize to Collin.
That was easier said than done, I have spent the last two days trying to work up the nerve to talk with him. Not to mention, he has been avoiding me like the plague.
Now I see him skipping out of school right after 6th period.
"Shit!", I mumble.
"Excuse me Mr. Knott, is there a problem?" Mrs. Holmes asked me; giving me her patented your cruising for a bruising look.
"Um, I am not feeling very well at all, can I please go to the bathroom?" I tried to give her the best pained/puppy dog look I could.
"Ughhh, yes you can go, but be quick about it..."
In a flash I was outta my seat and out the door. I didn't even pretend that I was heading to the bathroom, instead I darted towards the doors after Collin. He already had a 5-minute lead on me and I didn't even know where he was going. I felt like I had some heavenly gumption added to my already frayed nerves.
There goes his car, "SHIT!" I curse after him, and then I start to think, where in the hell is he going?
His house....
I make it to my car, fumble to get my key out, and then I hear the door to the school close again.
"Hold on there...Where do you think you are going?" Principle Kirby yelles at me.
"Ahhhh....fuck" I let slip as I jump in the car and start it up. By the time he reaches where I was parked, I am hauling butt out of the parking lot.
It takes me a few minutes to find Collin's car in the traffic. Good he is only 4 cars ahead of me. I can catch up to him...thank God.
"God damn it!" I yell at no one as the light changes to yellow and the stupid driver in front of me slows to a halt, not even trying to make it through, which he could have and myself for the matter!
Now all I can do is sit there and watch Collin's car drive away. Damn if this wasn't a long light. I can feel the time slipping away, one grain of sand at a time.
GREEN
"Thank God!" I mutter as we start to move again. I look at the clock and see that it was only 4 minutes that I had to wait. Now as long as I don't catch anymore lights. As luck would be ignoring me today, I some how managed to get every single light between school and Collin's place, a grand total of 5. That has put me a whole 20 minutes behind Collin.
"Oh God, I am such an idiot...what was I thinking...."
I come screeching into his driveway throwing the car into park behind his car and running to the front door. I must ring the doorbell a million times before it dawns on me that I could try the back door.
As I reach the gate in their privacy fence, I think I hear Collin. Then the sight before me floors me as I open the gate. Collin is facing away from the pool and has a gun in his mouth!
What the hell have I done, I start to shout to Collin, "NO..." as the gun goes off.
I was glued to the spot for a second as the images registered in my mind, the flash coming out of Collin's mouth, the explosion of blood from the back of his head, and Collin collapsing into the pool.
Without thinking, I sprinted to the pool and dove in after my best friend. I quickly pulled him to the surface and climbed out, pulling him with me. It was immediately obvious that his soul had already left his body, but the pain and agony that I was now suffering was extreme.
All I could do was sit there and cry while cradling him in my arms. I think I stayed that way until the police and medics came rushing in. I was so out of it, it took the police officer and the 2 EMTs to pry Collin out of my arms.
At about that time, I barely register hearing my mother's cry as she saw me crumpled there wailing, covered in my best friend's blood. And Collin, the EMTs already had him on the stretcher and were in the process of covering him with a white sheet.
Seeing that sent me over the edge again, I let out a long, painful wail. Then the blissful darkness comes crashing down over me.
I came rushing through the gate after pushing past the police offer standing in the drive way and I was presented with a sight that will forever chill my heart and soul. My little, Lain sitting next to a blood filled pool, covered in blood, wailing like he has never cried before. Then taking in the fact that they were covering Collin's body with a white sheet.
To Be Continued . . .