With Love We Can be Human By James
Disclaimer
This is a story which deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between consenting teenaged males. Should you not be of the legal age to read such material, or should you be offended by such material, then please find something else to read.
I can be reached at jamesheady1985@gmail.com for those who would like to contact me regarding the story. I look forward to all e-mails and respond to every one of them.
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Chapter 9
Brandon
Sunday came upon us in the form of a dark and rainy morning. I awoke and Torey woke a couple of minutes after I did. He smiled and said good morning to me. I replied in kind, then after he said he could wait, I got my shower and he did the same after I returned to the room and began getting dressed.
Our parents were awake which wasn't surprising, as they awoke usually an hour earlier than we did to get ready. We said good morning to them and once breakfast was finished, we went to the church. Zack was going to come there with his friend who was dropping him off so we would get to see him once he was there.
My dad's sermon was about The New Atheists and it contained some of what he talked about the night before while we were having dinner. He spoke more about Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens, as they are the ones who are the most vocal about the need for our intervention in other countries with whom we go to war. Harris and Hitchens wrap their blood-thirsty dogma in terms such as: "a War of Ideas", especially when talking about Islam. Dawkins however isn't so supportive of our wars, but he still holds the childish belief that we can and are progressing morally just because our society has progressed technologically and scientifically.
My dad spoke of all of this, then the service was ended after he blessed all of us. He did well as always and I wondered if I would touch people's lives one day as well as he has when I become a man. I thought of all of this as I walked with my mom, dad, Zack and Torey out of the church and got in the car to go back to the house. The rain was falling hard and I felt like I could go back to bed. Torey seemed to feel the same way and when we got back to the house, we did lay back down in one another's arms for a little while.
Austin
I sat in Ryan's room with him and enjoyed his company. I got to his house the day before in the early afternoon and we watched a little TV, mainly some of the nature shows he liked. This made me like him even more, as I was one who had little patients with kids my own age who's brains were soaked in crap like Family Guy, South Park and Reality TV. It was nice to see that Ryan enjoyed things other than that.
While at his house after we watched some of what we watched, we walked around in the back yard which was huge. It was all woods and it could have easily all been forest. It was absolutely beautiful and more peaceful than I could describe. We also sat beside one another in Ryan's favorite spot by two large trees and he told me a little more about his life with his mother. He also told me about the lack of friends and how that made him sad and I put my arms around him and assured him that I was there now and so were Brandon, Dana and Torey when he got to meet him whenever Torey might hang out with us the next time.
After we sat a little while longer there talking, we went back to the house and after it was decided that I would be spending the night once our parents agreed and Ryan agreed happily, my parents came over with some clothes for me. We then had dinner and for the next couple of hours, we sat in Ryan's room and he showed me his drawing abilities which were really good. I drew a couple of trees that seemed rather amateurish compared to Ryan's talents, but he really loved them. I had a feeling that he would love almost anything I did.
Soon, his mom came in to let us know that she was going to go to bed for the night. She said that both of us could decide where I would sleep and that was good to hear. Once she left the room, Ryan asked if I could sleep beside him in his bed. He said that his mom wouldn't mind and going off of this advice, I agreed. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt Ryan snuggle up against me and put his arm around me and he was asleep and soon, so was I.
I was brought back to the present by Ryan sitting down beside me. He had been playing with his trucks and cars at that point and I had been watching him while looking at a couple of Youtube videos of a couple of songs by the group Ensiferum. I selected ones that weren't too death-vocal oriented and Ryan seemed to like them, although he was concentrating on his activities at the moment. Now though he sat beside me on the edge of the bed and I looked at him.
"Thanks for staying with me last night and today," he said smiling and moving closer to me.
I put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him gently closer to me.
"You're welcome," I replied. "I'm so glad we've met. You're really caring and I like your love for everyone and everything."
"You're really nice too," he answered. "I really love how you're there for the people you love and how you've been really kind to me."
"You've been really kind to me as well," I responded and we shared a warm hug.
0000
Walking by Ryan's room on her way from the restroom to the kitchen, Beth saw the two boys holding one another while sitting on Ryan's bed. She also saw them wrapped in one another's arms the night before when she got up a couple of times to check on them and especially on Ryan. She figured that there was something between them that was forming that was more than friendship. She hoped that if they became more than friends, that Austin would treat her son right.
Austin
I was there with Ryan until Monday, the next day. I didn't want our time together to end, and I focused mainly on just being in the moment with Ryan. We sat and talked a little, then had dinner. I really enjoyed that day and soon, it was time for us to get some sleep.
0000
Todor
That Sunday afternoon was as dark and rainy as it had been that morning and earlier that day. I loved it and it was nice to hear the rain as we went about our day. I spent that day cleaning in the kitchen which didn't take too long since we took turns almost every day doing some portion of cleaning in there so it didn't take too long to do a complete cleaning. Once that was done after lunch, I spent the rest of the afternoon in mine and Misho's room reading. He was in with a couple of the other kids who were younger and who needed help with organizing and folding laundry they had been doing that day.
As I flipped the page, I looked at the book again and got in to the third sentence when I felt movement on the back of my ear. I gave a quick vocal sound of surprise, then lowered the book. I figured I knew who it was. Misho was standing there smirking at me and with his hands at his sides, but I knew it was him. He liked to pull stuff like that on me sometimes.
"I can't let you forget about me that easily," he said smiling and sitting down beside me on the bed.
I wrote on my pad, then turned it so he could read it.
"You must be insecure," it read.
Misho smiled and I put the book aside. I took him in a hug and we sat there for a long moment just holding one another and enjoying the closeness.
I let him go, then smiled at him.
"Yeah, I'm really insecure," Misho said laughing. "I just came in to see how you were doing. I can let you finish reading if you would like."
"I'll finish this last paragraph," I wrote.
"Okay," he replied.
Misho
Todor moved to his usual chair he used when reading which was across the room from the bed we shared. I stretched out on the bed and lay on my back thinking. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and thought about how deeply I was falling for him. He was so sweet, caring and loving. He was also sexy and handsome as fuck and when he was out of the room and I knew he'd be gone for a long time on these occasions, I would go in the restroom and jack off frantically as I thought of him sucking my cock or as happened a lot more than that, I would imagine myself on my knees beside our bed with him standing over me and with his hand, he'd motion for me to suck his cock. I loved the look I pictured him having as I did as he told me. I pictured him looking down at me and it would be as if his eyes were saying: "Go on. Suck me. Now.". I further pictured taking his cock in my mouth and going up and down on it a few times, then eventually, he'd take a couple of hand-fulls of my hair and while not being rough, he would firmly hold on to them as he would begin slowly, but firmly fucking my mouth which got me closer to coming as I thought about that. I'd explode when I imagined him exploding in my mouth and swallowing every creamy mouth-full of his seed.
I moved on to my stomach as I began getting hard about that. I saw Todor lower his book for a moment and I thought I saw him give a knowing smile, then he was back to reading.
We hadn't actually come out to one another about our feelings yet, but it was kind of an open secret. I hoped to change that though.
Todor
When I looked up from my book and watched Misho move on to his stomach, I saw a little of the hardness in his pants. He was wearing pants that weren't tight, but they still outlined his cock nicely and it was clearly hard. I knew that he was crushing on me and I was just as bad for him. I wanted us to be able to talk about that at some point and I hoped that he could actually be with me long term even though I have the issue of not being able to speak.
I finished reading for now and then put my book aside, and went over to him. He was lying on his stomach with his eyes closed, but he didn't seem to be asleep. I reached down and lightly brushed the underside of his upper arm which I did sometimes to get back at him.
"What!" he partly shouted, then sat up.
I sat down on the bed and smirked at him.
"Todor!" he said trying to act more offended than he actually was. I wrote on my pad then turned it towards him.
"Pay-back's a bitch isn't it?" it read.
"I'll show you pay-back," he said and was on me and pushing me down. We did this sometimes and I enjoyed the feel of his body directly on mine. We usually got hard and could feel one another's hardness, but it was another one of those open secrets, at least for now anyway.
I turned so that I was on top of him like usual. He struggled under me and we were both laughing. I then gave him a questioning look that was meant to say: "Give up yet?"
"Okay!" he yelled almost out of breath. "I give!"
I let him push against me and I eased up so he could move out from under me. He stayed where he was for a moment and our eyes locked as I felt all of him, especially his hardness against my own. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, then he smiled and I moved so he could get out from under me. He sat up and we sat down on the edge of the bed and continued to talk and enjoy one another's company for the moment. As we talked, I remember thinking that I truly was happy that I allowed him to get to know me rather than continuing to push him away as I had been doing. I felt bad for that and when we began talking in the beginning after I gave him the note I did in class one day, I made sure he understood that my isolation from him had to do far more with fears I had of him rejecting me for my vocal disability rather than anything I had against him. Fortunately, he understood.
Later that night as we got ready for our showers before bed, Misho said that I could go first. I got undressed and as I turned to get a towel, I saw Misho looking directly at me and I saw that his eyes were locked on my cock which was half-hard mainly because of the cool temperature in the room and just the sexy feeling from being admired by such a cute boy like him. I turned away to get the towel, but not before I allowed my eyes to lock with Misho's for a moment which was my way of letting him know that I know how much he's been crushing on me and that it's alright.
Misho
I lay there as I heard the restroom door close and the shower start up thinking. Up until that moment, Todor and I had snuck quick peaks at one another's cocks when naked, but for some reason that time, I just couldn't look away as he turned and when he locked on to my eyes with his, I didn't have an urge to look away. Once he communicated the message with his eyes that everything was alright, I knew that I was falling even harder for him.
Todor
Once in bed and waiting for Misho to come out from the restroom from getting his shower, I thought about when we first were in contact with one another those first few times, and when I would walk away after giving Misho the barest of responses. I sometimes looked back and his head would lower, but most of those times I saw the hurt look on his face and two of the last couple of times of me walking away from him, he looked close to crying. I felt bad for not opening up to him in any real way all those times, then when I saw him close to breaking down those last two times, I knew that I was being unfair to him and that I needed to get it together.
0000
Misho
I thought back on Todor and I meeting in our Math Class that cold Monday in December, a couple of weeks before Christmas. He was handsome and I looked at him and was instantly attracted to him, though I wanted to be his friend first before anything romantic. I went up to him and introduced myself and took the desk next to his. He wrote something on a piece of notebook paper and held it up for me to read it.
"I'm Todor," it read. "I'm not deaf, so don't start shouting at me, and don't feel like you need to do me any favors by feeling sorry for me. I don't need people feeling sorry for me and that being the reason they want to be my friend. I can't speak. It's something with my brain."
"I wouldn't make friends with you just because I felt sorry for you," I said feeling slightly hurt by what his note said. "I feel like you'd be a nice person and I'd really like to get to know you. It doesn't bother me about the different way you use to communicate."
"Then you're like most of those self-satisfied liberals of today's age who talk about words that we should use for minorities, how discrimination is hurtful then they go home and rot out their brains on trash like Two-and-a-Half Men, Family Guy and South Park. It doesn't matter you say? Oh, it matters alright. It matters a lot to people who could make my life hell if they want to. You know, like bosses when I start working when I become an adult as well as other people in the outside world."
"All I can say about that last part is that I wouldn't be one of those people, and as for the first part, I don't even know anything about whatever those things are you're talking about."
"They're trash-talking comity shows people like to trash their brains on," he wrote.
"I don't watch much TV and before I came here, I lived with a family who didn't own a TV," I explained.
"Interesting," he wrote then turned to his desk, shutting me out.
I would approach him a few more times about whether or not he'd like to eat lunch with me or other things. He'd write that he was busy, then walk quickly away. The last couple of times when I almost broke down and he saw me in that state, he looked unsure of what to do, but still walked away. He told me once we really began talking, that on the first time of those two last times of my rejection of him, Michael saw both episodes and talked to him about both of them. He said that that's part of what helped him begin opening up to me.
The day that things changed and he began really letting me in to his life came in the form of one of the coldest days that December. Snow fell all morning, afternoon and even in to the evening and that night. It was the 23TH of December and I marked it in my brain. I sat down at my desk that morning and got my stuff out. I looked through my notebook and flipped to a blank page. As the class went on, I knew that Todor was there beside me. He gave me a note saying: "Hi." At the beginning of class and I replied back verbally. That was new and when he looked at me, I saw the look in his eyes. It seemed to say: "I'm sorry for everything.". I nodded my head and he sat down.
Throughout the class that morning, I could sense his eyes on me from time to time and out of the corner of my eye a few times, I could see him take quick glances at me, but then there'd be other times where he'd stare at me for a long moment in a way that seemed caring and with great longing in his eyes. I tried to focus on my assignments for which I was writing answers, then as I finished writing the last answer to the last question, I felt a quick tapping on my upper arm. I turned and it was Todor. He put a note on my desk which was folded so I couldn't read it. I reached for it and he put his hand over it. I looked at his face. It seemed to be saying: "Not yet.".
Michael said that we could talk quietly at that point and I went up and handed in my work. I returned to my desk where Todor was still holding down the folded note.
"When can I read it?" I asked.
He wrote for a moment.
"After class," it read.
"Okay," I replied.
As the bell sounded, Todor got up quickly like usual, but rather than head quickly for the door, he turned to me and held out his hand. I took it and unlike the last time, I had his hand in mine rather than him just barely taking my hand when we met the first time. His hand was big, warm and soft. We looked in to one another's eyes for a long moment and then the moment had passed. I said goodbye to him and he waved, then smiled as he walked towards the door.
Once everyone cleared out of the room, I opened his note and read it. It was short, but it was sweeter than any note I had ever gotten from anyone in my life.
"I'm sorry for treating you like I have. My shutting you out had nothing to do with you. You didn't do anything to cause or make it worse. It's issues of mine I need to and am trying to work on. You really are a nice person and I would like to try again."
Under this he wrote: "Turn the note so that you can see the back of it."
I did as instructed and saw three pictures he drew. The first one on the right was of two boys one of which had my likeness and the other one of his. The two boys were sitting in the woods with their arms around one another. Above this was the word "Now".
The drawing on the left was of a boy with Todor's likeness standing in a room that looked like a class room since it had a blackboard behind him. The boy had a scared look on his face and there were kids with smiles on their faces. I looked closer and those smiles were mean smiles, cruel smiles and the teacher standing in front of the boy was drawn with a dark hateful look on her face. The word written above this was "Then".
I looked at another drawing that an arrow pointed down to. This one was of the boy who looked like Todor on the floor with this face covered in purple which I quickly understood were bruises. Two adults leaned over him with hands raised over him as if to strike him again. Beside this drawing was the word "Scared".
I began to understand Todor in ways that went deeper than the surface by which I had seen him before this point. I looked at the drawings and my eyes filled with tears. No wonder he was on his guard all the time. I wished at that moment that I could have had a moment alone with whoever the shitbags were in those last two drawings who clearly were the ones who hurt him. He didn't deserve that. I wiped my eyes after getting myself under control then went on to the next class.
He sat down with me that evening and told me his story of how he came to be at the center and rather than dance around it, he was honest about the fact that the final confrontation between his father and him happened because of his father not trying to deal constructively with him confirming his homosexuality to him and instead beating Todor and resulting in his placement here with us. He broke down several times and though stiffened when I held him in the beginning, he was slowly relaxing in the last couple of times of breaking down. After we finished talking and I had told him my story, we continued talking of other things all while we had our arms around one another. He was the best gift I got that Christmas.
0000
Todor
I was back in the class room and I was 12 again. The class was looking at me and smiling in that way that made me think of how a cat might look when toying with a mouse that it decides is dinner.
"Come on," the teacher said. "I don't have all day. I haven't made any secret of the fact that I think you pull this crap about not being able to speak only for sympathy. If you could scream when that one kid kicked you between your legs last week, then you can speak. I know the looks you give me, I know you don't like me. You think I'm some hot-head asshole. So come on, I want to hear you call me that."
I wrote on my pad, but it was quickly knocked out of my hands by one of the students who came up to stand beside me.
"Thanks Trent," the teacher said. "You don't need to write anything. I'm sick of having to wait for you to write every fucking thing out. I have 14 other kids in this class and I don't have time to wait on your sorry ass all the time. Now speak damn it, tell me what you really think of me!"
"Go on freak," Trent said jabbing me painfully in the ribs. "Tell Mrs. Ross what you think of her."
I looked at both of them trying to communicate with my eyes that I didn't and wasn't going to do that.
"You're going to say something," Mrs. Ross said. "I'm sick of you causing problems in this class."
"Go on," Trent said slapping me hard on the shoulder. "Talk to us. Give us a good speech. You read enough fucking books, you must know something you can talk about. Go on you fucking freak, give us a nice long speech."
I was starting to cry and several kids began laughing.
"Aww look," Trent said. "The thing's crying. It's so happy to be up here. It's over-joyed to be here."
"What a pussy," one of the kids in back yelled.
I was grabbed by the hair and my head jerked up so that my face was level with Mrs. Ross's. She slapped me two times across the face which burned badly. That made me cry harder.
"Fuck it then," she said. "I'm calling your parents. Maybe they can home-school your ass."
I awoke sitting up in bed and feeling cold all over. I was crying and I felt arms around me and I tried resisting at first, then I heard Misho from behind me as he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"It's okay," he said softly. "They're gone. You're here and you're safe."
After I calmed down, I dried my eyes and lay back down as Misho covered us back up again. He turned to me and looked in to my eyes.
"Was it the same dream?" he asked.
He knew about this dream, as I was more vocal when it was happening and this was usually the one that would wake Misho, probably thanks to all the jerking and thrashing I would do when in the nightmare's grip.
I nodded my head and he moved my head gently until it was resting on his chest.
"I'm here for you," he whispered lovingly. "You're safe and I won't let anything bad happen to you."
I was asleep in minutes safe in Misho's arms.
Misho
I looked over at the clock. It was after 1:00 A.M. and I figured that Todor had gotten at least a few hours of good sleep before the nightmare happened. We had fallen asleep almost at the same time and while I drifted off in his arms, I was thinking of the look he gave me when our eyes locked before he went in to get his shower. I felt absolute joy at what he communicated to me. Unfortunately though, the demons from his past decided to cause a little trouble, but I was determined that they not bother him again, or at least if they did, then I was going to be there to go through it with him.
My thoughts then turned to my love for him. I've written about my physical love for him, but the emotional and romantic is harder to put in to words. His kindness, caring and compassion both for me and for others around him is deep and indescribable. When we're together, it's like we're the only ones in the world and it's like nothing else matters. When Todor's focused on what I'm saying or what he's saying to me, he treats me as if I really am the most important person in his life. I do everything I can to do the same with him.
My thoughts began to shift again and I was realizing that I was drifting off again. I shifted on to my side and Todor shifted as well and we went back to our usual sleeping positions with me draped almost across him with my head resting in the hollow of his neck. I was lying like this now and was asleep in seconds.
0000
Brandon
That Sunday night was storming with rain and wind. It had been a wonderful day with Torey to share it with us. We had already made plans for me to spend the up-coming weekend at the center with him and I was excited about that. My parents already got it set up with Michael and I'd be leaving that up-coming Friday in the late morning.
I was thinking about this as I lay in my bed waiting on Torey to come back from getting his shower. He and I spent the rest of the day talking with Zack and my parents, then we came in to my room after dinner and watched videos of bands on Youtube then just lay in one another's arms talking until it was time for us to get showered and ready for bed.
Torey rejoined me a few minutes later after I thought about the up-coming weekend. He climbed in to bed and he smelled amazing. I turned towards him as we pulled up the covers and moved closer to one another.
"You smell really good," I said softly as I looked deeply in to his eyes.
"You do as well," he replied and reached out his hand to lightly caress my cheek.
"I've had a lot of fun this weekend," I went on. "I really enjoyed having you here with us."
"I've had a lot of fun with you as well," Torey responded. "Thanks for letting me spend the weekend with you and your family."
"You're welcome," I answered. "I hope you sleep well tonight."
I hope you do as well," he answered. "I'd like to help with that if you'd like. I'd love to give you another massage since you've enjoyed me doing that before."
"That sounds really good," I said.
Torey massaged my arms, legs and feet, then massaged my back and shoulders. That was what felt the best. I felt myself get even more relaxed as his hands worked on my back, then on my shoulders. I was soon drifting off to sleep.
Torey
I finished massaging Brandon's shoulders and was happy to see that it had caused him to fall asleep. I relaxed beside him and he put his arm around me and I fell asleep wrapped in his arms once again.
0000
Austin
The rest of that Sunday evening, Ryan and I sat in his room after spending some time after dinner talking with Beth. Once in his room for the evening, I undressed so I could get a shower. Ryan lay on the bed and was looking at me as I undressed. He tried not to look, but I knew that he was having a hard time resisting the urge to do so. I removed my boxers and when I stood up from putting them in my bag and before I could turn around to go and get my towel, I saw that Ryan snuck a look at my cock which was half hard from the coolness of the room, but also because of my attraction to him.
I got my shower and Ryan took care of his and I got a chance to eye him. His body was smooth as I mentioned already and when I was able to see his cock for the brief moment I got to see it before he covered up with his towel, I was even more aroused. It looked like it was almost four or five inches and was uncut. His balls were smooth and had only a couple of hairs on them and even then I could hardly tell if they were hairs or just tricks from the light. He did have hair above his cock, but it was just a small dusting, but that probably would change. He mentioned that he was going to be 14 the week after next and it came up when his mom asked him if he knew what he wanted for his birthday at dinner that night. He said he wasn't sure yet, then he told me when his birthday was and asked if I could come to it. He was asking, but his eyes were all but begging me to come.
I told him that I'd check with my parents and they'd get with Beth. I also told him that it shouldn't be a problem. He was happy and his smile melted my heart.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt movement on the bed. Ryan was back and he lay on the bed, but was propped up on his right elbow looking at me with his hands up to his eyes. His index finger and thumb of each hand was curled in a circle and he was looking through them as if through binoculars. He was even turning his hands as if adjusting focus.
"What are you doing," I said laughing.
He laughed and then removed his hands from his eyes.
"I was just trying to get a better look at you," he said as he lay down and snuggled up to me.
"I guess that's supposed to be magic or something like that," I answered.
"Yeah," he said smiling, then he looked closely at me. "I wanted to give you something before you leave tomorrow," he said."
"What's that?" I asked looking back at him.
"It's a surprise and you have to wait until you're back home to open it," he replied.
"I'm looking forward to that," I said.
"I hope you sleep well tonight Austin," he said softly as we wrapped our arms around one another after I turned out the light.
"I hope you do too," I replied.
We said good night and were both asleep in minutes.
Author's Notes
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter like the others. This one was the one where I wanted to give a little more of Todor and Misho's back story with respect to them getting to know one another as well as the fact that I wanted to cover Ryan and Austin's time they spent with one another. Things will begin moving in to deeper areas for the boys in the next chapter and I'm sure readers will enjoy that.
Everyone have a good night and I'll see everyone in Chapter Ten.