With Love

With Love Book II With Hope

By

Retta Michaels

Disclaimer:

If you are under the age of eighteen, or live in a locale which doesn't allow you to read these sorts of stories legally, then please don't. Come back when it's legal for you to do so and it will be great with us who are here legally. In fact, we'll support you and in the right circumstances help get you laid. Now, skedaddle and shut the door on your way out!

Now, for the rest of you who are supposed to be adults. Act like it!

Notes from Retta,

First and foremost, any events, places, or people in this story are purely fictional. Yes, a whole lot of my writing has parts which are biographical in nature, they still have to be called fiction. That's because I'm a fiction writer. Not all events will be seen the same by others, so the caption of stating they are fiction, gets me out of a lot of log jams.

With Love Book II ^Ö With Hope ^Ö Chapter 1

Monday - Well, here's how today went. To say it was interesting is an understatement.

The first thing I did was went to the bank and got his name taken off the signature card. I went to the President and spoke with him. I told him the truth and he told me he just couldn't take Kevin off the card. Quick as a flash, I said, "You can when he's going to be laid off. When he cleans all the assets out of my company, I'm going to ask one question, "Just who the hell do I sue?" ". He smirked and handed me a new card. He checked the accounts and nothing had been removed.

After that, I went to work and put a notice on the bulletin board absolutely no work was to be completed until we had a meeting in the break room. I had the meeting called for 9:15 am.

I called all the credit card companies...which weren't many. I got him taken off the cards. They told me they couldn't be responsible for any charges which were made for the past 5 days. And, they'd have me new cards delivered by Wednesday. I agreed and hung up.

About 9 a.m., he came in. As I suspected, he didn't speak. I told him we had a meeting in the break room at 9:15 am. He looked at me and said, "You're not going public with this are you?" I told him with as much ice in my voice as I could, "That's personal, this is business. Show up at the meeting."

When we went into the break room, everyone was looking like..."What the hell?"...because I don't show up on Mondays, and they know it. Well, to make a long story short, I notified them we were having lay offs. I said, "As of now, only one person is getting laid off. Until further notice, Kevin is laid off. He can draw unemployment and I'll gladly pay it and as far as I'm concerned he can continue driving the Navigator." I looked at them and said, "If any of you wish to follow him out the door; you'll be laid off too. There won't be anyone quitting here today, and there won't be anyone fired. We're going to use this time to reorganize and see where our commitments lay. I already know where one of you's commitments rests, so I'll ask if anyone has any questions, please speak now...I'll answer any questions. If you wish to do so privately, you know where my office is."

Kevin looked at me and smirked. He held up a finger and said, "Will we be having a meeting later?"

"Provided you can keep things civil and realize I'm doing business today...and nothing personal."

After that, I gave out the assignments and then told them, "Folks, we're here to do business. If you fail to carry out the assignments, then believe me, I want phone calls and I expect reasons as to why an assignment wasn't carried out. If I find any sabotage of any equipment so as to not carry out your assignments, you'll be out the door permanently without a lay off. All I ask you to do is to do what I pay you to do. Do it and we'll get along fine."

When we went back to the office, Kevin said, "Well, wise ass, you successfully cut me off at the balls."

I said, "Kevin, you'll wish you had balls by the day is over. Now, if you think we're splitting up property, go to the bank and ask for a loan on the properties that aren't in my name too. There aren't any. I'm not selling out, and I can afford to buy you out. By the way, I'll need your credit cards and you don't have any authority to sign any checks on any of our accounts in our names. I'll give you 50% of those accounts, but not a penny more."

"Rhett, I didn't want it to come to this."

I looked at him like he was a dumb motherfucker...because that's exactly what I thought.

"Kevin, when you gave up your loyalty to our relationship, I took a look and saw exactly how deeply your loyalties lay with things you care about...Then I thought of this company. You might have jacked my heart out of my body, but I'll be God damned if you jack this from me too. You've shown your loyalties can be pretty fucking shallow, so I'll let you know mine can be a hell of a lot deeper."

He looked up and there were tears in his eyes. "Rhett, I'm sorry."

"Sorry is a word used by losers. I think you told me that when we were in prison. You could have told me you loved me and beat my ass black and blue and I would have taken it. You could have told me you loved me and you were having issues and we would have dealt with it. You didn't. You acted on those issues and it became a big issue...between us. Now, I'm here to remind you I can be a lover and you'll get my best, or I'll be someone scorned and you'll see how fucking vile I can be. Everything I've done has been legal. Thank God I didn't sign this company over to you when I was thinking about it."

About then, my mom walked in the door. With everything going on around us in the office, I never heard her arrive. When she walked into the office, her purse was clasped under her arm like she was going into battle. I knew by the set of her jaw, she wasn't happy. She didn't say anything to me, but she turned to Kevin, "After he's through with you, I want to speak with you...privately. I've blocked your truck in, so you're not going anywhere...except on the back of a tow truck. I'm a member of the board of this company too and I'm not giving you parting prized like some fucking game show."

I looked up at him and said, "Do you have anything further which needs to be said?"

He said, "Can I hold you?"

"No, I love you, but touching me physically right now is something you won't get to do. You've touched one too many people."

I went out of his office and into the outer office where our secretaries were. They gave me a look of pure dread. I went over to a chair as my legs were shaking too much. As soon as I sat down, I lost it. The tears and the agony which came out of me were worse than anything I've felt in this life.

The thing about crying in front of women is they instantly become nurturers. That's what happened. I had three sets of arms comforting me and was handed tissues until my hands were stuffed. I felt foolish and I felt loved. I don't know how long I was carrying on, but one thing I do know is I heard my mom's voice and it wasn't happy. "You broke him, you fix him, and so help me, if you don't make him better than new, you'll wish you'd never crossed anyone I love. Get your ass over there and remember you once told me it's 'til death do you two part, because in this family you little shit, we don't play that unfaithfulness card."

I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around me. What I do know is I was suddenly picked up and taken out the door. He carried me over to the Navigator and put me in the passenger seat. I attempted to get out and he said, "Rhett, please just stay." Tho look in his eyes told me he was dying inside too. The pain in them compounded everything I felt. All I could do was nod.

I don't know what he said to my mom, but what I do know is she came out on the double and got her car moved. It wasn't long before I felt the truck move and knew we were driving. All that was going through my mind was everything we'd been through through the years. The times he needed me. The times I needed him. And, the times we fought side by side to make a life together. All of it just seemed so wasted. It wasn't long and I felt the truck stop. I looked up and we were parked in Riverview Park. I turned to him and said, "Kev, I don't want to be here."

Riverview Park and it's views are some of the most romantic sights I think are on this planet. Lovers come here; not people who are breaking up.

He looked over at me and said, "Rhett, you've had the morning and not one moment have you listened to me. So, I'm going to speak and I just pray you'll listen."

"You've got 5 minutes."

"O.k, well then I tell you what's going on with me. After our talk last night, I went out for a ride. Sometime when you were driving the Navigator, you left your Rhianna cd in the player. I don't know why, but I was driving and listening to it and was just vegging on how I was going to do everything I could to just get what I could out of the relationship's assets. That was until I heard this song."

He pushed the player and "Unfaithful" came on. Instantly, I knew it had to have hit him like a ton of bricks.

In all the time I've known him, there's only been one time I remember Kevin ever crying. It's when he spoke about realizing he was in love with me and how he'd never felt loved before until me.

He let it play and when I looked over at him, tears were streaming down his face. He said, "Rhett, I've fucked things up so bad and I don't know what to do to make things right. Everything which is good in my life is in the shitter and you've got your finger on the flush handle. For me to say I'm sorry is beyond where I am. For me to say I've violated you is beyond what I'm sure you feel. All I want to do is to go home, have you hold me, and for you to tell me it will be o.k.."

I started to speak and he pleaded, "Rhett, you promised me five minutes. Can I just please have the rest of it? I promise after that, you can go home and then I'll be the fuck out of your life."

The tone of his voice sounded child like. I'd heard a lot of tones of voices through the years we've been together, but not once had I heard this one. Knowing him, and seeing the look on his face, I caved.

"Kev, just take us home and I promise you that you can come inside and we'll hold each other."

That's when he really lost it I can't say I blame him because seeing him cry, caused everything to come bubbling back up within me. I took his hand and said, "Babe, move over here, I'll drive."

When we got home, Gypsy was overjoyed to see him. She was up in his arms at a running jump. I walked into the house to make sure we had glasses of tea made. I sliced up some cheese and put some Ritz out on a plate so we'd be able to talk. For good measure, I grabbed the bag of peanuts out of the larder.

Kevin was sitting in the living room and I put everything into the dining room. I stood in the double doorway and said, "Do you mind if we talk in here, with all that material in there, we'll have to shout at each other and I'm really tired of sounding angry."

He smiled. "You haven't been half as angry sounding as you should have."

"Suck up some other time Kev." I smiled, but he knew I was serious.

We sat down at the dining room table. It was funny because both of us reached for the bag of peanuts at the same time. Our hands touched and we looked up at each other. He smiled, "You first."

I reached into the bag and pulled out a handful and placed them onto his plate. I took one for myself and he said, "Somehow, I knew you'd do that. You're like your mom, you think of others before yourself."

"You're lucky she was still angry enough at you she didn't throw something at you."

"She threw her keys and hit me upside my head after you left the room."

"I'm not surprised. She was pissed."

His false bravado came forward, "Didn't hurt none."

I wasn't about to let him out of it, "No, your pride was already in the shitter."

I knew I'd struck when I saw his eyes flare. "Go ahead and get pissed, my anger is right below the surface and the hedge trimmers are in the basement."

"What'cha going to do with the hedge trimmers?"

"Cut it off, put it in a jar, so when you decide to go out and fuck around, you can leave it here at home with me." I looked up and knew I'd hit again.

"Damn Rhett, am I going to have to hear that shit every sentence?"

"Seems like every other year I've got to worry about you fucking around, do I have to worry about that the year after next? Because I'm pretty God damned tired of having to get A.I.D.S. Tests to sleep with a man that's supposed to be faithful. You tell me. Because the first time it was a woman and I could understood that....it was something you didn't have at home. This time, it was someone whom obviously meant enough for you to give up this relationship ."

"Rhett, I'm sorry."

"Kev, that sounds like a fucking broken record I heard two years ago. I believed you then, but I just happen to think you're trying to play me. So, here's the deal. We get counseling. Yes, you're macho ass has to go to counseling. There's got to be something which makes you want to be so fucking self destructive. I'll go with you, but it's time you realize sorry doesn't cut it."

"O.k."

I was surprised. I expected some argument on the counseling.

"Kev, what makes the so-called men in my life want to fuck around on me? Tony did it. Michael Ray did it. Chad did it. And now you. What the fuck man? I put up with this shit from every man I've been with. I thought we had something special and I thought we had it made. I'm hearing compliments from people who send me emails on us making it last and while I'm fielding them, you're out seeing what else you can score. That's pretty fucked up."

His rested his hand upon mine and I looked up into his eyes. "Yes, It is fucked up. I'm loving you and at the same time, I'm pulling this shit. Rhett, I have needs too."

"What, you aren't getting enough in the bedroom! Jeez, Kev, we've got it down to the point all you have to do is wear a pair of boxers and I know what color means what. That was from the last time. Well, I'll tell you what, there's not going to be a pair of boxers that's going to signify you want another man because the second you think I'll put up with it again, You're out, and I'll gladly make sure you're never back in. I admit I love you enough to go learn basketball and football. You're going to have to put up with hockey and car racing. If I've got to, we'll watch them on t.v.s side by side...but the days of you going to a game with what's his name are over."

"His name's Jerry."

"I know his fucking name Kevin, but if his name means so much to you, then get out the fucking door! To me, he's a 'what's his name' because I don't want his fucking name said in my presence again!"

"Rhett, I'll have to give him a call."

"Kev, pick up that phone after you pick up your bags because you are NOT calling. He'll get the fucking hint when you DON'T call. Or is it that YOU don't get the hint here."

I looked at him and sat back with my arms crossed.

"O.k., I won't call."

"Kev, now, there's the thing about us buying the house tomorrow. I'm going to buy it. I made the decision last night that this house has too many memories and if I've got to live without you, I want it so I don't have to live with ghosts of our past."

"You don't want me to buy it with you?"

"Are you going to stick around?"

"I had intended on doing it, but that's apparently up to you."

"No, it's up to you too. Come on...give me some more fucking attitude."

I was getting pissed and he knew it. I snatched a piece of cheese off the plate and his hand grabbed mine.

"Rhett, I won't do it again. I'll go to counseling, but right now, I'm walking out the door. We're going to end up in an arguing match here and that's not productive."

Exasperated, I looked at him and said, "Kev, if your head over to that man's house, don't come home."

"Rhett, I'm going to work. Your mom's running the show down there and those men think she's a bag of hot air. I've got to go down and save their dumb asses because she'll work them into their graves."

"O.k., go to work. I'll trust you. I'm going up to take a nap as I need some sleep. Two nights lack of sleep is getting to me."

He stood up and held out his arms. I stood up and stepped into them. As we hugged, I breathed in his scent. I thought to myself, "If they could bottle the way he smells, we'd outsell Liz Taylor."

I felt him shaking and knew he was crying. I pulled back and said, "Kev, we've got definite issues we've got to work through. You've not lost me and I'm going to be here. My trust level sucks right now, but hey, it'll get better." I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on his lips. I pulled back and wiped away his tears.

He said, "I love you."

"I love you too. Don't forget it."

"Rhett." He gave a pleading look for me to drop it.

"Kevin" It came out a bit harsher than I intended but I wanted him to know it wasn't going to be dropped. Not until a counselor was seen.

One thing with Kevin is he's macho to the point he thinks he doesn't need external help. He takes it from me, but not many other people. You've probably learned that from him already. Well, it's true.

A thought came across my mind, "Take Gyp with you."

"Come on Gyp."

Call me insecure, but I thought, "He won't take Gyp by that man's house.". We often took Gyp with us to the office. Everyone liked her and she had a blast down there. The guys would throw her balls or Frisbees and she'd get her exercise.

I went up the stairs to go to bed. Parts of me were settled now, and huge parts of me were unsettled. I sure don't like the feeling of not being able to trust someone. When I meet it in business, I get distance from them. If I meet it out in the public, I don't go around those people again. To know I had to share this house with someone who breaks my trust...well, it won't happen again."

Mental note to self...call the banker and the credit card company....No hold that on the credit card company....just thought of the Whitney Houston song. No, you've got to extend a little more than what you have. O.k. (As you can see, the devil and angel were fighting again on my shoulders).

Just about the time I got laid down, the phone rang. I rolled over to answer it. It was Kevin. "Don't plan anything for dinner, we're going out."

"O.k" He didn't have to break my arm convincing me that was a good plan.

I slept the convicts dream....bars inside the fences and Kevin's in his bunk with another man and won't stop fucking him. I woke up from my dream with a scream and it took a few moments for me to realize it was just a dream. <No readers, this isn't a dream sequence.>

I rolled over and called the shop. Carol answered and I said, "Carol, is Kevin there?"

"Yes dear, he seems happier. Are you?"

"I don't know Carol, he's busted the shit out of my trust."

"He's a man hon, they live to do it one way or another."

"Carol, now I know how my mom felt when I got out of prison. She was so leery I'd go back because I'd snap at the least possible moment. Her trust was violated but she didn't want me to know. Would you scratch me talking to Kev and connect me with my mom."

"O.k."

I spoke with my mom and I told her, "Mom, don't be too hard on Kevin."

"He's doing that enough for the both of us dear, I'm just standing back and enjoying the show."

I couldn't help but to chuckle. My mom loves Kevin dearly and for her to step off in his butt means she loves him that much. If she didn't, she'd tell me to dump him and wouldn't acknowledge his presence again. She'd done it with Michael Ray after his umpteenth time cheating and it got so bad with him, she would sit outside the house and lay on the horn until I came out to speak with her. She wouldn't even come to the door.

"Where's he taking me to dinner?"

"I don't know, but as bad as he's screwed up, I'd say it better be the Pear Tree Villa. Men need to know when they piss us off it's their pocket books that going to scream loud for a while."

I chuckled and said, "Mom, I love you."

"I love you and him too. That's why I'm so disappointed."

"Mom, we screw up sometimes."

"No, he screws up and you love him enough to take him back."

"He's going to get counseling."

"He sure needs it. He has steak at home and goes out with liver."

"Thanks mom, would you connect me to him. I'll tell him we're going to Rustic Oak. I'll make the reservations."

"I think he's already made reservations."

"Well, I'll see."

"O.k. Dear, I love you."

"Love you too mom."

Notes From Retta:

It's not over by a long shot. I'm not giving up, and I'm not giving in. As we go through our recovery, I'm going to write chapters as to what we're learning from our counseling and how we're applying it. If it can help one person out there, I've done some good with it.

Many of you have written to me in support of what's going on. I'd like to thank you. It tells me how much you've grown the love the characters. I've changed the names of the characters over as you now know who they are. (That's leaving a sentence open like a mofo, but hey, I'm human.)

In writing "With Love Again", I'm writing it from Rhett's perspective. It's going to be more emotional, and for me to get it right, I have to speak for myself...not someone else.

I hope you'll ride along, as it's going to be good. Rhetta

Copyright Notice - Copyright (c) November 2007 by RettaMichaels The author, RettaMichaels copyrights this story and retain all rights. This work may not be changed or duplicated in any form, media, - known or unknown - without the authors' expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply.

Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental

-- From My Keyboard To Your Heart Rhett

Here is a list of stories I've written and where to find them:

With Love - Nifty - Beginnings Section Rural Love - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com Write Me A Love Story - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com To Love Him - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com Military Zone - Nifty - Military Section Evan - Nifty - Beginnings Section