Betrayed With Love
By
Retta Michaels
As I sit here tonight, he is packing his things. Fourteen and a half years of our relationship has went down the tubes.
Anger, hurt, pain, and frustration are a whole lot of what I'm feeling now. Questions of "How could he have done this?", "What was he thinking?", and "Why would he have risked it to throw it all away?" are foremost in my mind.
Last evening, while I was on Niftychat chatting with Kip about how lucky I was to have him in my life, he was out cheating with another. Of course, I didn't know this. I was blind to a lot apparently.
I ended the chat with Kip as he came home thinking I'd be bright and bushy after his night out with his buddy.
I went to the living room to find him having trouble taking off his shoes. He was intoxicated and wearing his buddy's shirt on instead of the one he'd left wearing.
Thinking it was a joke or he'd possibly gotten sick or spilled a drink on his, I asked him about it. That is when my world came crashing down and his confession began.
He'd apparently started being more intimate with his friend in July. He'd started seeing similarities they had which we did not share. As he put it, a trip to a ballgame and our relationship was doomed.
In September of this year, the men on our crews started acting differently. He'd ask them to do something and it'd get done. If I asked them, it was break time. Things came to a head one day when no work got done because he had a meeting in the city. Their lead decided the crews could take the day off. He summarily was terminated when we interviewed others and discovered all the insubordination repeatedly pointed back to him.
So, on October first, I cut back my hours to only working on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays of the week. Kevin picked up the reins as we thought it'd be better for the employees to save face by seeing a new face in command. I looked at it as an opportunity to take the time to do my writing. Apparently, this built resentment within him he did not voice. He saw himself as being used. Nevermind the fact his paycheck as C.O.O. graduated his pay scale to compensate for the increased work load. His zeal for that was him putting the increased pay into a bass tracker and a Navigator. I told him to put the Navigator on the business accounts as a justified bonus.
During all this time, our lives didn't change. There was no outward moment I could see which things changed. Maybe I'll see something in the future as the pain right now isn't allowing me to think clearly.
So, after his revelation, I didn't say much. Silence from me is not a good sign. My background of a German mother and an Italian father definitely has me vocal about my feelings. When I go silent, it's a sure sign it's the silence before the storm.
I went upstairs, got his pillow, and put it in the guest bedroom. My only words to him were I would not share my bed with someone who cheated, and to ask him to please take a shower before he slept on those sheets. The door in bedroom definitely is sturdy with the slam it received after saying my piece.
Sleep did not come easily for me...Well, to be honest it didn't come at all. I laid in bed and cried, I sat up and cried. I thought of everything we'd built up and now had lost. I wondered about the future of us together, I wondered if I could ever forgive him. I wondered about how I'd tell you the reader, our families, and our clients. I wondered for the business, and I wondered for the home we are scheduled to buy on Tuesday. As you can see, I definitely wasn't prepared for this...but, is one ever ready to receive betrayal.
Tonight, I called his cell phone, I had one question I needed to ask. What had I done which caused all this? His fast and short reply was I'd done nothing. It was him and his need to have someone in his life who has the same interests he has. After that, he told me he still loved me and hung up the phone.
Amazingly, I'm accepting it. After all the times I said and believed I couldn't live without him, I'm still standing. Yes, it's breaking my heart, but I realize there comes times when divine intervention happens which makes us stronger. I may not see it now, but I have to have hope someday it will be seen.
To all my readers, friends, and family, during this time I'll be cutting back on writing. I promise at least one chapter update each week and leave it at that. I'm going to be stepping back in to work full time. My business needs me. I'm still trying to figure how I'm going to tell over seventy employees what they knew since they've worked for us is about to change. I surely have no idea how I'm going to find that strength.
With Love,
Rhett
-- From My Keyboard To Your Heart Rhett
Here is a list of stories I've written and where to find them:
With Love - Nifty - Beginnings Section Rural Love - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com Write Me A Love Story - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com To Love Him - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com Military Zone - Nifty - Military Section Evan - Nifty - Beginnings Section