With Love

With Love

by

Retta Michaels

Epilogue

Disclaimer

If you are under the age of 18, if you've read this story to this point, you shouldn't have. A disclaimer at this point is useless.

If you are in a country or locale who isn't supposed to read this....ditto.

Author's Note:

Some of you wrote a lot of questions in emails which were already answered with the truth. Kevin requested it be written from "Boom's" perspective rather than from a perspective of seperating the characters and just giving updates on them. So, a re-write happened this past weekend, and here it is:

Epilogue

To say things were tense the entire time we were performing our work, would be an understatement. Inmates and convicts alike who had never seen me so publicly out on the hill, now saw me out there hustling up drug deals and turning them to Jared.

When questioned about it, I looked at them and said, "There's a new day in this place and I'm taking up the slack after the riot." They'd look at me strangely, and then would go about their business, or go over and make deals with Jared.

At first, several good friends wanted me to go into the deals with them. I told them, I'm making a dollar off this...that's all. If I'm lending money to you, then I'm charging interest. Do you want the deal, or not?" If they did, I had no problem making interest on the deal.

Several of my work out friends had a talk with me one night while I was up pumping iron. They questioned my commitment to my fitness by running the drugs. I looked at them and said, "My hands aren't touching the stuff, and I'm not taking any. If I have to go to war over the deals, then I will...but, it will be with a clear mind." They questioned whether I should be doing what I'm doing while I'm proclaiming fitness and I told them, "People are going to do it whether I'm the one making the deal or not. Get out of my hustle and don't come back to me with it until you can prove a needle ever touched my skin."

One of them knew me from the walls and told the others I definitely wasn't doing heroin because he knew how I looked back then. He said, "The Boom you see now isn't the same dude I knew back then. He was really zoned out back then. Now, he's just crazier than hell."

I smiled and thought to myself, "Crazy in love dude."

Things went fine for us all. Jared wasn't threatened and anytime I saw a tense situation, start to arise, Moose, Brick, and myself were all on the scene standing behing Jared in a flash. At the same time that would happen, I'd hear about 20 different guard's squawkey-talkies hit nothing but static. When that would happen, I knew the air was being cleared for the call to get to the area we were located.

The morning of the arrests, the prison stayed locked down. This usually told us the goon squad was coming into the prison. If we saw white mini vans, we knew they were bringing the drug dogs. This morning, we not only could see a contingent of goons forming out by the fence, but we saw the drug dog vans. They still didn't come.

People were yelling from cell to cell out over the open wing and I could tell an air of apprehension was evident. Knowing what was about to take place, I told Francisco to put on his clothes and have his comfortable shoes on in case we'd be standing a long time.

Francisco in all this time had been working over at the medical building. He had a sense of pride and purpose about him and word was quickly filtering throughout the institution he was the person to turn to in order to get stitched up, or to get an emergency trip to medical.

I say the last part because going to medical was a real bitch. One would fill out an MSR (Medical Services Request) and about 10 days later, they'd get called over for the illness. If you had the flu, you could figure it'd be over by the time you got called over there. That's why when I had the cyst, they'd not find it. The swelling wouldn't be there when they got to see me.

About 11 am, Moose said, "Boom, take a look at the gate. This is going to be huge, dude!"

I went to the window and looked towards the gate. The goons and drug dogs had just been accompanied by the state's militia. A chill went through me and I felt Francisco brush up against me. He said, "That's not usual, is it?"

I said, "No little dude, that's not usual at all. This is going to be huge."

The interesting thing about it is that even when the guard was there, they still didn't move. I was wondering what was keeping them.

At noon, a vehicle came through the fence and it was an enclosed box truck from food services. I knew when it showed, we were getting sack lunches in our cells.

The truck would pull in front of a housing unit, and two guards would go out to take the boxes going to their house. Moose said, "Dude, look how many guards are coming out. There's not enough of them to run this motherfucker!"

I thought "Man, if that man got arrested, this is going to be awful. The militia will be running this place."

Soon enough, the wing doors popped and we were told our cell doors would be opened long enough for us to get ice and to receive our meals. Francisco and I got ice in our coolers and then took the proffered bag when we went in. The guard closed the cell door behind us.

At 1 pm, a truck pulled up to the gate with a trailer on it. On the trailer looked like a podium of some sort. It drove in and pulled into the middle of the yard. The truck unhitched the trailer and I saw a recreation officer drag a p.a. system out to the podium.

Francisco said, "Boom what are they doing?"

I said, "Hon, I've never seen a thing like this before, so I can't tell you."

Moose yelled over, "Boom, what do you make of it dude?" I told him the same thing. I knew if he'd never seen or heard of anything like this, it'd never been done before in most any prison.

At 3pm, the militia began to move. They took up posts all around the yard and a perimeter was put with one standing about ever 3 feet in a huge square in front of the podium.

In our housing unit, cell doors popped, but not for every cell. Names began to be called and mine, Moose and his celly, Brick and Jared's names were some of the ones called for our wing. Francisco's name wasn't called in our wing. I looked at Moose, and he smiled a faint smile. When we got close to each other, he said, "The gig's up, now it's time for the finale."

One of the guys whom I knew was another undercover guard came over and said, "What you make of it?" I said, "Dude, we don't know. If Moose and I haven't heard of anything like this, then it's not been done before." He walked away quietly, but knowing he was getting called out too, I knew this was a huge production of having the guards cleared at the same time as everyone else. There'd be no doubts in anyone's mind as to them being a legitimate inmate if they were seen getting arrested too.

We stood there for about 10 minutes when Francisco yelled down, "They're holding court in the middle of the yard!"

People looked at each other and I went over towards Jared. If things were going to go bad, it would happen now while we were waitting. Moose seeing me move, moved too. I was on Jared's left side and Moose and his celly stood behind him. Brick was on his left side. To a skilled observer, they could see we'd drawn a good flank about him, but to a casual observer, it looked like we were all carrying on a conversation. People would come over and speak occassionally, but they'd not stay.

When our wing was called, we were taken by the goons to the "courtroom" in the middle of the yard. Walking through a gauntlet of goons to the holding pen of militia was eerie. I had the feeling they'd drop me in a heartbeat if I put up a fight.

In the "courtroom", Jared was called up before the judge. A "public defender" came over and spoke with him briefly and then he was put up in front of the judge. When the judge read the charges, there were over 1500 counts of sales of a controlled substance read to him. Jared dropped to his knees. The judge then read the charges which followed in a string. Racketeering, money laundering, possession, and so on and so forth. The situation was so real and the charges so overwhelming, I thought to myself, "He hasn't got a chance in hell."...even though I knew this was all a ploy.

When my name was called, the "public defender" came over and said, "Richard, these charges read aren't real. We have to make it look like we're doing this to you as well as these other guys...so don't be worried. I went up and stood before the judge and the charges of conspirousy, racketeering, money laundering, extortion, sales of controlled substances, possession, and the list went on. The number of charges were so many I lost count at over 10,000 counts. The judge looked at me somberly and said, "How do you plead?"

I damned near laughed. How do I plead to all them fucking charges? Get real you old fuck! I'm going to be pleading innocent. I mumbled "Innocent" and he looked at me with shock. I raised my head to look at him and he said, "Son, of all these people in front of me today, you've got the most charges of anyone. Am I hearing you correctly when you're trying to tell me you're innocent?"

I looked behind me and saw about 50 people all with their rapt attention focused on my statement. I knew if I wussed out, I'd be in deep shit in the wing and on the yard. I said, "Sir, if this is STILL America, and it's the America in which someone can be made free by hiring a lawyer, I'll be innocent, you just wait and see."

He said, "Bailiff, get this little shit out from in front of me before I charge him with contempt."

I walked over to my "public defender" and he said, "Here's your paperwork. if you'll notice, behind every charge is a (NYF). That stands for Not Yet Filed."

I smiled and said loud enough for others to here. "Well, I won't be needing your services, I've got enough money lined up for a good attorney."

I walked out of the "courtroom" and was directed back to my cell. When I got to the cell, Francisco met me with a hug and a kiss and said, "They have that p.a. system turned up loud enough it's echoing through this whole house. They want everyone to know what everyone is being charged with."

When Brick came back in, he yelled up at my cell. "They're brining the drug dogs in after court's over, so get rid of your shit!"

Him yelling at my cell was a tip off for something because he knew I didn't have a thing in it. I took the cue and made sounds of flushing my toilet about 20 times. If anyone was listening, I wanted them to think I was flushing the goods.

Moose came in and immediately yelled, "Isn't that some shit! These motherfuckers missed some people, now didn't they!"

I thought to myself, no they got everyone and it's all on tape dude...but I also realized he was telling everyone to watch their back.

He came up to his cell and when he got in, he yelled through the vent, "Boom, that's some shit dude. Our asses are in a world of hurt."

I yelled back, "How many for you?"

He said, "Of what thing? Altogether, there's over 900 charges."

I said, "Well, I got ya beat dude."

He laughed and said, "You getting an attorney?"

I said, "Oh hell yeah. Me taking a public defender on all these would be suicide." After I said it, I thought to myself, I'm going to have to get word up front I'm going to be needing 'lawyer visits' quite often so people don't have an inkling this isn't real.

The court went on and on. Finally about dark, the last inmate was taken back to their cell and then we saw the food service truck roll up again.

We were given our sack lunch and had another opportunity for ice. We took both and then locked down.

Francisco said, "Boom, what if this isn't fake?"

I said, "Hon, take a look at all those charges in that file folder."

He opened the file folder and began looking at the paperwork. I went up behind him and said real quietly in his ear. "If you notice, there's a NTF behind each charge. The guy who was my lawyer down there told me not to worry as that meant 'Not Yet Filed'. "

He turned around and gave me a huge hug. His head was facing the door and he said, "Boom, I just realized the guys over in that cell can see everything we do when we're standing up. Someone is looking right in here."

I didn't make myself obvious but I took a glimpse of who it was. It was the guy who had slashed me. He wasn't an issue any longer, so I didn't make a deal of it. I needed to appear I had bigger worries.

Francisco went over and sat down and said, "Tomorrow is your mom's birthday, you need to call her."

I smiled at him and said, "I sent a card."

He said, "Babe, you're going to call her because I want to wish her Happy Birthday too. Won't it feel good to be out there next year to celebrate it with her?"

I nodded and said, "Yeah, but let's worry about that when we get to that bridge, we've got to make it out of here first."

About 8 pm, the wing doors popped and I heard barking. The goon squad came in and everyone was ordered from their cell and told to strip down to boxers only. We were told to spread eagle along the walls and to place our foreheads against the wall.

Francisco gave me a look and I said, "There's nothing in there, so don't worry."

There were 8 dogs and about 30 goons. They took 8 cells at a time, and when they got to Brick and Jared's cell, a commotion broke out. The dog's were going nuts and a lot of yelling began. I looked away from the wall and saw a goon holding several bags of goods. I was immediately ordered to get my forehead back against the wall. I turned to look at Francisco, and gave him a wink. He winked back and I smiled.

The goons came up to our cell and really turned everything over. The dog didn't alert, and soon they were on their way.

When the wing was shook down, they left and I looked down and saw Brick and Jared still sitting at the wing table. Brick looked up and said, "My celly apparently didn't get everything dog!"

I said, "How much have they found?"

He looked down and at Jared and said, "Too much dog, we're in a world of shit."

I turned and Francisco looked at me and I said, "They're doing what they need right now to get Jared and Brick out of here. They'll be goon by the end of the night."

Francisco said, "Boom, I'm sorry. I know he's your friend, but if you need me, please lean on me, O.k.?"

I said, "Babe, I'm going to need you. Brick and I were close."

We worked putting the cell back together, and then settled in to watch some t.v.

I heard a cell door slam and went to the door. Brick looked up and yelled, "we're getting taken to jail dude, I'll see ya later." I said, "Later dude!"

I wanted to tell him I loved him and call him friend, but saying that in this place was not what I'd need to make it to the finish line.

Moose came to the vent and said, "Boom, you o.k.?"

I said, "I'm o.k., it just tough dude."

He said, "I know dude. You've still got us, so don't be getting crazy on us, you hear?"

I told him I heard and said, "Moose, talk with me in the morning. I'm snuggling up with my baby."

That night, Francisco and I lay in each others arms and I fell asleep dreaming the convict's sleep. I was in prison, and there wasn't an out date.

The next morning, I went out on the yard as usual, and started doing business as usual. People would come up to me and I gave them the info on my charges and on Brick and Jared being found with a lot more drugs in their cell. They nodded knowingly and told me of their charges. No one stuck close by, and I saw Moose floating off on the edge of my vision the whole time.

When we were going into the house, Moose said, "Boom, I'm going to be there bud, and don't worry if things start to go bad. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

I said, "Moose, if I could hug you bro, I would."

He said, "So would I boomer, so would I." He smiled and said, "Fuck it" and turned and hugged me and said, "Boom, I love ya like a brother dude." If these motherfuckers want to think it's fairy shit, then that's on them.

I saw tears in his eyes and I said, "Moose, we should've done that more often."

He smiled and said, "Nah, not with what you're working with!"

I laughed and he said, "Just jokin dude, I know what ya meant!"

I won't go into the daily routine except to say things went much the same except there wasn't any dope getting sold by anyone. Occassionally, I'd hear of someone scoring pot, but nothing major was in the place.

Someplace along the line, Francisco began a friendship with a huge guy named Tiny. I'd known Tiny from the walls when he won mini skirts and makeup. I didn't know him personally so I couldn't give Francisco any information on him. All of my connections out on the hill didn't know much except to say he was a 'big ole fag' who always kept himself a boy.

The first day they agreed to visit on the yard, I went up to the table and said, "Tiny, if you're attempting to fuck Francisco, then know we're together. If you disrespect that, I'll fucking crush you dude."

He smiled and stuck out his hand and said, "Boom, you're more my type and don't worry about Francisco, we're just friends."

I said, "Well, I just want you to know I'm keeping my eye over here."

That evening when I got to the cell, Francisco lay into me like you wouldn't believe. He said, "Boom, if you think Tiny and I are secretly making plans for me to be with him, you're nuts. He works in medical with me and is one of the most caring and compassionate people I've ever met. AND, if you should know, that man fantasizes more about you than probably even me. He knows your life history to the point he knows when you got what tattoo and what his opinion was on each. He also knows when you had your hair long, and also knows when you didn't have a mustache."

I smiled and said, "Well, I could have had me a big old girl a long time ago!...NOT!!!"

Francisco smiled and said, "Well, I could always step out of the way and let him have his way with you!"

I said, "Honey, I just wanted him to know I had my eye on you...that's all. I'd do it if it was anyone."

He said, "I know Boom, and just as soon as you walked off, Tiny was all over giving you praise for watching out for me like that. You didn't push him away if that's what you were getting at...you only made him fantasize about you more."

I said, "Babe, I can't get to the showers and that mental picture makes me feel unclean."

He laughed and said, "Hon, you really should sit up there with us one day. I think you and he would get along great. The stories he tells of the old day and you tell are very similar, but his stories of pining away for you every time you got in a fight and put into the hole are humorous as he was too chicken to even let you know he had the hots for you."

I smiled and said, "As big as he is, it would have been a helluva fight. That's for sure."

We went on with our days and then one day, the story broke of Francisco's case without us being told. It broke with KPLR in St. Louis reporting it and then, suddenly the story was on the Chicken Noodle Network, and Hard Luck News later that night. Fox picked it up the next day.

Francisco got called out the next day and when he came back, he had a schedule of times. I looked at them and he said, "There's a bunch of reporters who all want to interview me. The prison is going to let them do it. Here's the schedule of whom I'm speaking with and when."

I looked at it and the list was incredible. Oprah, Larry King, and Koppel were just a few of them on the list. I looked down and saw Rivera and said, "Do me a favor, when you get to the end of the interview with him, make a comment of saying, 'It will be better than finding Capone's vault!' and leave it at that."

Francisco smiled and said, "Anything for Oprah? I said, "No, not unless she can get you a contract to be a movie star. You're good looking enough for it."

He kissed me and said, "Boom, do you want me to mention my relationship with you?"

I said, "Babe, as much as I'd love it, stick to the story of what happened to get you in here. I want every person in America to feel compelled to give a phone call to this prison and the governor's office to affirm him letting us out of here is the right thing."

When the wings popped, a lot of people were suddenly interested in Francisco. He went on with business as usual and went to his table he sat at with Tiny. As much as I grudgingly approved of him, I was keeping my eyes open. Moose and his celly were in the fringes of everything and I said, "Moose, why don't you send your celly over to sit with Francisco. That way, we've got someone close who can forewarn us if trouble happens. I don't like all these people looking at him. It just doesn't feel safe.

I continued to keep off to the side, and occassionally I would see someone come over to the table. Tiny would stand up and go into an offensive posture which was strange. I'd never kept an eye on his through the years, but he was earning his stripes with me now.

Nothing would happen, and the person would walk off. The only thing I was really thankful for that evening was then shutting the yard.

The days went on and Francisco did the interviews. We'd watch the story develope with each new tidbit being thrown at them by someone who was obviously told to leak information and the scandal ensuing got the investigation opened again into Francisco's mom's legs being scalded. A news flash showed a woman being arrested and we knew the sergeant's sister was going to be held accountable for her actions. The press suddenly wanted to have more interviews with Francisco about his opinion of the arrest. He gave a blanket statement of being glad she was going to be held accountable, hoping the nursing home would be too, and pleading for the state to review his charges.

His plea on national television was suddenly played on all three nightly news and then carried by all the international news stations. I said, "honey, that statement right there is going to be the one the governor's going to use to have him cave to."

Sure enough, the governor's office made a statement the next morning in a press announcement they were reviewing the charges and would let the press know the findings.

Later that afternoon, the governor called a press conference and made a statement saying he had reviewed the case and it's information and would be getting his staff to commute Francisco's sentence. He made a public apology to Francisco and his family openly.

That night, the governor's helicoptor landed in the yard. We looked out the window and he came to the housing unit. It was no time at all and he was up coming into the cell. He sat on the bed like he'd sat there all the time and said, "Guys, we have a problem. This story has blown open with such force, I've got to get you out of here Francisco and I've got to do it so publicly, everyone is going to want to see the papers involved."

Francisco said, "Well, governor, you gave your word and I'm suggesting you find a way to get their paperwork hustled through. We fulfilled our end of the deal and if I need to go public with everything, I can't think of a better way to do it than when most of America is going to be wanting my statement on being a free man."

The governor looked ill and I said, "Francisco, take the brass ring hon. I expected something like this. It's a double cross. They're going to threaten me with all those charges and I'm sunk."

The governor looked pissed and said, "I gave my word Richard and I'm going to keep it!"

I smiled and said, "Well, it didn't sound like it to us. It sounded like you were dragging your feet."

Francisco went over to the governor and said, "I'll play my part, but I want their paperwork done before I get up to make a statement. If it's not done, I'll say what I have to say and if you think your balls were in the fire, you'll be out of office on the scandal that opens hell and swallows you."

The governor said, "Francisco, I'm getting an emergency meeting of the house right now so we can have a legislative pardon on your case. That way, all things get taken off your record and the state will settle with you handsomely. If they do that, I'll get the paperwork to be snuck through in the background. I don't know if it will be legal to use inmate numbers on paperwork of this sort, or not, but if I can do it without the press finding out the other names, I'll do it. If not, I'll find a way of doing it."

He turned to Francisco and said, "When do you want out of here?"

Francisco said, "We gave our word for February. Make it so I can leave here and go to my the park where I want to spread my mom's ashes on Valentine's day."

The governor said, "Things are going to be busy. Right now, I'll tell you there's no way I can get everyone else released at the same time. Due to privacy issues, the press is going to be out in force on that day, so who wants to go first. You or Boom and the guys."

Francisco and I both said, "Him" at the same time.

Moose yelled through the vent, "Francisco, you go first. Then, the press trucks won't be around when we're released. If we go out the day before, they'll want to do a practice piece on us being released and some nosey cunt will want to know why I'm in here."

Everyone blushed and the governor said, "That pipeline works pretty good as a communication device!"

We chuckled and I said, "You wouldn't have believed us it you hadn't seen it, would you!"

He said, "I thought they had this place more secure than that."

I said, "The prison only looks secure from the outside. It's the public that wants to be assured their safe, not us. We know at any time, we could be out of here in a heartbeat."

The governor smiled a smile which didn't look healthy, but I think he knew in his heart I was telling the truth. He shook our hands and said, "Guys, I gave my word and I'll keep it. I don't know how yet, but I'll keep it."

After we locked down, Moose yelled through the vent. "Guys, that guy was in asking you to release his balls from the fire. You called him out on it and started singing fucking Christmas carols telling him his nuts were going to be roasting over an open fire." He laughed and Francisco smirked and looked at me.

He said, "Babe, I wasn't going to let him back off his promises. We're not electing him, and he needs to know it's not a campaign promise. I'll use the press to fuck him with a machine gun and won't pull out until it's spent."

We lay down and watched some television. The next day, the governor made an announcement of an emergency session of the house. He stated he was going to offer a settlement to Francisco for an undisclosed sum and needed their approval." When his press conference was over, Francisco was hustled up front for another press conference. He was asked what the amount was and shrugged his shoulders. He said, "I don't know what it is, and I don't care. If you asked my mom how much her legs were worth, she'd tell you she wouldn't take a dime for them as they'd be priceless. I can tell you with firm conviction her losing her legs caused her will to live to diminish. Rather than being there to support her in that time, I was put in here. You go home and figure out how much your legs are worth and then look across the room and figure out how much the cost of losing one of your children is worth and when you're laying on your death bed dying, I'll come and ask you what it was worth to you, and then tell me because I don't know."

When he was done speaking, the whole fucking prison erupted in cheers. The sound was drowned somewhat to me because I was crying too hard. He'd remained dry eyed through the whole thing but I was shedding the tears I knew he felt.

That afternoon, we went out on the yard and every inmate possible was high fiving him. Not one inmate I don't think didn't go by him without voicing support. Tiny sat by him and I think Tiny was more on guard than I. I knew we kept an eye on him, but no one was acting untoward.

Moose looked at me and said, "Boom, I think we're safe tonight, I'm going down here and pull a debt owed to me. I looked over towards Moose and said, "If you need me dude, give me yell."

All of a sudden, I heard a yell from Moose's celly and Moose immediately turned and started running. I looked toward Francisco and saw him up on the table with Moose's celly standing on the seat and Tiny standing in front fighting three individuals. I began running and my feet just didn't seem to be moving fast enough. It was like someone put the world into slow motion.

Moose and I arrived at the same time. We tackled the guys from behind and I saw Tiny go down. He looked o.k., but I could here his breathing and knew he'd been stabbed. About then, I heard a whoop on the yard siren and in the back of my mind, I knew I'd never heard it before. A voice on the loudspeaker said, "A-4...A-4...A-4"

I couldn't tell you if anything else was saying anything, because I was already getting my guy turned over and doing death blows to his throat screaming at the top of my lungs, "Die Motherfucker DIE@!!!@" The guy started gagging, and I turned just in time to deflect an icepick shank aimed towards my face. The guy suddenly keeled and I saw Francisco had dove on top of the guy and took him down. The sensation of flying overcame me and I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was I was suddenly in the air and over the picnic table. I landed on the other side and came up fighting again. I looked over and saw the biggest fucking guard I'd ever seen had thrown Francisco clear and was now on the guy.

I looked at the scene and someone yelled, "Get Francisco to the house now!"

I took off running, and the last I saw, the medics were already on the way and I saw guards all over the scene. Moose and his celly were about 30 feet up the walk and he stopped for us to catch up to him. He said, "WHat the fuck happened Francisco!"

Francisco was crying and said, "All I know was things were going good and then Tiny suddenly said, 'Thundercats' and came around the table. He told me to get on the table and to take rear. He got your celly on the seat and told your celly to fight anyone who got through him. He started fighting and that's whey you guys got there."

I said, "Honey, Tiny's been stabbed. I know that sound anywhere."

We looked back and we saw the medics running with a gurney towards medical. It must've been bad as they weren't even bothering to load him into the little golf cart ambulance. There were four of them and they were hauling ass on the double."

Francisco started crying again, and we walked with him crying and leaning against me.

I turned to Moose and said, "I want word down in the hole an award is going out to anyone that will take them three out. They've gotten too close and I want them hurt."

Moose said, "Are you guys o.k.?"

I said, "I'm fine. Are you o.k. Cody?"

He smiled and said, "I'm fine."

Moose said, "Take him to our cell with Francisco and I'll get the hit put out on them."

I said, "I'll have the money paid to whomever that takes the job."

When we got to the cell, Cody came in and I think that was the first time he'd ever been in our house. Francisco and he hugged and Francisco thanked him for everything he'd done. Cody said quietly, I didn't do anything. Tiny did it all. I stood there and froze. Even you tackled the guy who was going to stab Boom."

Francisco said, "Cody, you did what you needed to do. You stood second flank and I'm happy for that. I jumped the guy because he was going at Boom and I saw the shank. You'd have done the same thing if someone had been going after Moose with the shank, so don't worry."

I opened my foot locker and started piling out cigarettes. At $3 a pack, I needed 50 packs in order to pay the hit. A standard hit like that at the time was $50. (And no, a human life isn't worth much in there.) I took them to a safe cell which is someone whom will do the transfer of goods from someone who's paying to someone who's receiving the goods. I paid him two jars of Folgers for the transaction. When I went away, I knew it'd be done and I could stand back and watch.

We kept our door open that night until lock down. The number of people who came in expressing their shock and alarm at what happened in support of Francisco was great. The guards all filed in and even they were saying they were pissed about what happened. All I knew was I had about lost my baby and I was too far away. I didn't like that feeling and I was mentally kicking myself in the ass hard for it.

Later that night, the housing unit sergeant came in and did the count. When he got to our cell, he told us we were on lockdown until further notice. He said the word came down from up top and they were in fear for our safety. He went on, and Moose yelled over they'd been locked down too.

I lay down up in my bunk and was quietly still kicking myself in the ass. Francisco said, "Boom, if you're pissed at me, we need to talk."

I said, "Babe, it's not you...it's not you at all. I'm pissed at myself because I thought things were safe and I let my guard down. I was too far away and you could've gotten hurt bad. The only thing I'm thankful for is Tiny was an old timer and he knew what to do in that situation."

Francisco said, "Boom, as much as I hate that Tiny got stabbed, I'm thankful you weren't there. It could've been you who got stabbed."

I said, "Hon, it wasn't his place to get stabbed over you. It was mine. Don't you know that's what I'm kicking myself for?"

Francisco said, "Boom, I'm not blaming you. It's something you're going to have to work through, but when we get out of here, there are going to be times when we're not going to be close to each other and things are going to happen. I don't know what to tell you other than if anything ever happens, I love you. Maybe I should've said that to Tiny more, because he was a friend to me and now he might be down there dying over me."

I said, "Honey, I'll get word up here so you know what's going on."

He said, "Boom, would you come down off your bunk and just hold me?"

I came down and we stood there for a long time and just hugged. Tears streamed down my face because I came so close to losing him.

We were locked down for three days. On the morning of the third day, a guard came to the cell and said, "Francisco, today's your lucky day. You're out of here."

Francisco looked at me with shock and said to the guard, "I'm not going. No one has said a thing about what's going on and if they think I'm going to just walk out of here and not say a thing about us being fucked, I'm not going."

I said, "Francisco, this doesn't sound like a usual situation. Usually, you know you're getting out. Then on the day before you cart up all your belongings. This doesn't sound like anything usual. I imagine the governor just sent them word to have you out of here. They probably just got the paperwork through the house."

He looked at me and said, "Boom, your mom doesn't even know. For me to go out and just walk up the street is insane. I at least need her here."

I looked at the guard and said, "I need to call my mom."

The guard smiled and said, "I'll get you use of a staff phone."

Francisco and I walked past Moose's cell and I said, "He's getting out."

Moose yelled, "Alright! HEY EVERYONE TELL FRANCISCO GOODBYE!"

By the time we got to the top of the steps, the whole wing was cheering him and yelling goodbye. By the second step down, I was already blinded by tears. It was happening, and I knew the light at the end our tunnel was getting brighter and brighter. I could see the future clearer now.

The guard took us to the sergeant's office and got an outside line. I called our home number and nothing but an answering machine. I said, "They're not home. I'll have to go get my address book for their cell phone number. Francisco said, Babe, here, I'll dial it for you. I've got it memorized."

He dialled it and then said, "Mom, Yeah, it's me Francisco! We need you down here as they're about to release me. Oh, you are! They told you! Oh, o.k., I'll see you when I'm out there. O.k. Yeah, here he is."

I got on the phone and mom said, "Richard, you stay sane. You are getting out this afternoon. They want Francisco to have a press conference this morning. Oh, you already knew! Oh, I imagine you were the first he'd call! Yeah, I love you too. Love you, Goodbye."

When I hung up, Francisco hugged me and said, "Go pack our stuff and I'll go do this press conference." He left with the guard and when I got back up to the top of the steps, I went over to Moose's cell and said, "This afternoon dog...get ready."

Someone heard what I said to Moose and said, "You're having a fight this afternoon!"

I said, "No dude, I'm packing Francisco's things up to the property room this afternoon...and I'm getting locked in the hole. The staff here is afraid I'll go insane if I'm alone"

He said, "OH, well if you need help, I'll give a hand, but just remember you don't have to be alone.

" He batted his eyes at me and I straight up knew he was putting in his request to take Francisco's place as my celly. I found it humorous because the guy appeared straight, but threw himself out of the closet when he thought he had an opening.

I hadn't walked three steps and someone else said, "Boom, I'll help carry some stuff too."

At lunch time, Moose yelled over he and Cory were packed. I told them to bring it over to my cell and we'd have everyone carry everything. He laughed and said, "All these guys who have the hots for you are all wanting to carry his shit up there so they can get in your pants!"

I said, "Moose, let them think what they want, but I don't want everyone believing we're getting out until we're gone. If they think that, word will get out and then, we're in a world of shit real fast."

So, when we got back from lunch, we got all their things moved over.

At 1pm, the yard opened and I was called down to the sallyport and told to take our stuff up. Moose had went to get the cart and an army of hopefuls all helped carry down our stuff. When we got to the cart, Moose and Cody pushed it and several people on the way asked what we were doing. I told them, we're moving Francisco's things up and my ass is getting locked down.

They looked with raised eyebrows but believed the story.

That walk was the longest walk I've ever taken in the entire 22 years I was incarcerated. The emotions within me and the fear of someone coming out of nowhere and killing me were all overshadowing the happiness and fear I had within me. It was eerie, and it was one in which my heart had to be beatting super fast.

When we got to the point other inmates could not enter, Moose said, "Boom, that was a motherfucker dude."

I said, "Yeah, I thought it was just me."

He smiled and said, "No, I felt it and I'm sure Code over there thought it too."

Cody smiled and I said, "Cody, please forgive me, but I never had time to really get close to you. Heck, there've been times I thought you were Cory and times I thought your name was Cody...so, just know I really appreciate the love you gave to Moose here and the friendship you shared with Francisco."

I went over and gave him a hug and then Moose said, "Boom, Francisco has our number. Give us a call when you all get settled in." He had tears in his eyes and the hug we gave each other was long lasting.

We went into the building which would process us through. I saw a glimpse of my mom and then suddennly in the little piece of glass in which I saw her, I saw Francisco's smiling face. He was waving and I could hear him yelling, "BOOM! BOOM!"

It took us forever long to get processed out. The dunce who was doing the paperwork had to read us the paper and have us initial it that we understood the paragraph we had just read. I finally said, "Can you get the super over here because as slow as this is going, it will be midnight before I get out of here."

He gave me a look like he was pissed and said, "You can stay in here as far as I'm concerned."

I said, "Go get the super and see if he thinks that...right over there is my mom and she'll be getting him if it takes much longer."

He closed my file with a slam and got up and went over to a phone. While he was gone, on the outside of my file, I read "MOTHER IS VERY ACTIVE IN INCARCERATION" in all capitals and bold red magic marker. I had to smile because I thought, if it hadn't been for her, I'd probably not made it through here.

A few minutes after he got off the phone, the super came walking in fast.

He said, "Richard? There's a problem?"

I said, "Yeah, this guy wants to read us all the paragraphs like we're a bunch of retards and at this pace, it's going to take until midnight. When I told him to call you, he said he didn't care if we stayed in here or not. Could you just have me sign what the fuck I need to so I can be out of here! Either that, or could you get mom and Francisco in here so I don't have to wait so long to see them?"

He said to the guy, "Point to him what he needs to sign and cut the shit."

The guy was pissed, but he did what he was supposed to do. I signed about 200 pieces of paper and Moose and Cody did the same. In about 20 minutes, we were all through and the super said, "Richard, you're a free man now. Don't let me see you back in here, and I'm sure we'll see you out there." He shook my hand and then he turned to Moose and Cody, he said, "Guys good luck. I'm wanting to same the same thing to you, but you know the spiel. It's strange, but I think you two won't be back. I know it's over for you two and I'm glad it's went as it has. Go on out of here and be happy."

He went to the door and we followed. It slid open and then we had to cycle through another sliding door. Then, we had to cycle through another and then we were out into the lobby where Francisco, Mom, and a whole lot of my family were all standing.

Mom and Francisco ran through to me at the same time and then both realized they each wanted to hug me first. I stopped and said, "Well, hug each other for me and then I'll hug you mom and then Francisco."

The laughed and then hugged each other and then I hugged mom. She was crying and then when we broke free of each other, I turned to Francisco and he was already crying. I rubbed his tears away and said, "Babe, our first as free people. I love you." We hugged and kissed and someone behind him said "Get a room already!"

I looked back and didn't realize the person standing there was my baby brother. The last time I'd seen him was when he was 8 years old. Now, he stood over 6 feet tall and was really muscular. I said, "Matt?" He smiled and I said, "Damn, the last time I saw you was when you were this tall!"

He came over and hugged me and I said, "I wish you had visited." He had tears in his eyes and said, "Richie, these places scare me."

I laughed and said, "Mattie, nobody's called me Richie since you did. You can call me it anytime you want."

He laughed and said, "I wish everyone would stop calling me Mattie though."

I said, "Well, you're the baby, so no one wants you to grow up because it means we're all old!"

He laughed and said, "You are old dude!"

Francisco laughed and said, "I keep telling him that Matt, but he just refuses to believe it!"

Matt looked at Francisco and for a fleeting glimpse of time, I saw lush in Matt's eyes. I thought to myself, Matt's got the hots for Francisco.

We stopped hugging and then I turned to Seth, my middle brother. I said, "Seth, how the hell are you! I'm glad you came because now you can take me home."

He started crying and said, "Richie, I just couldn't handle leaving you here!"

I said, "I understand. I couldn't handle leaving you all either."

We hugged and I said, "Let's go home."

I turned and saw Moose and Cody still greeting family. The sight was really heartwarming as there were a lot of hugs and tears too.

We went out to the car which was a huge station wagon vehicle like a truck. I said, "Damn this thing's big! Why didn't you all just get a school bus!"

Mom said, "This is a Expedition. They don't make big station wagons anymore. They only make them like this as trucks." Another change, I'd have to get used to...

When we got on the road, everyone sat up front and Francisco and I sat in the rear. Mom had rented a Uhaul for our stuff and it pulled real nicely behind this land yacht.

Arriving home, the first thing I wanted to see was my old bedroom. It had changed and none of my things were there anymore. Mom came in and stood behind me hugging me and said, "Honey, we put all your things in the basement as an apartment so you and Francisco would have privacy. We want to give you two your space without feeling you are interrupted."

I turned around and gave her a big hug and said, "Mom, thanks for being so understanding."

She said, "Richard, Seth is understanding about you two, but I think Matt's going to have problems."

I said, "Mom, I don't think Matt's going to be a problem except he thinks Francisco is hot."

She looked at me and said, "How do you know?"

I said, "Mom, in prison, I learned to read people's eyes real fast. Matt thinks he's hot."

We went out to the living room and Matt was sitting by Francisco on the sofa real close. He was showing Francisco photo albums. They looked up and smiled and Francisco said, "You were a cute kid...what happened?"

Everyone laughed and I said, "Well, I was good looking and young until I got put in a cell with someone who would constantly remind me he was cuter and younger...that's what!"

My mom said, "I know the feeling...believe me, you kids constantly remind me I'm not a kid anymore. You keep ruining it by calling me mom! I keep telling myself I shouldn't have kids your age because I think I'm still a kid too!"

I laughed and said, "You are a kid! Just your body got older."

Seth was outside and I went out and began carrying our things in. Seth stepped in to help and said, "Rich, you going to be o.k.?"

I said, "Seth, the world just got better today. I'll be o.k.."

He said, "Rich, if you have problems, you come to me and we'll talk."

I said, "Seth, I will."

He smiled and said, "Welcome home."

It's been four years now since we got out.

In that time, things have been hectic in our lives.

Francisco and I started doing the real estate purchasing we spoke about. A lot of the purchases weren't bought by the people who owned the adjoining land. So, we found ourselves maintaining the land and holding onto the parcels.

Francisco and I started the Billboard sign company which we spoke about. We now have a 17 county region in which our signs are prominantly displayed. The company has grown and now uses the land we can't sell as points where a billboard is now located.

In 2005, we were maintaining so many parcels of land, we spun off a landscaping and yard service to mow them. It's now employing over 20 guys and 2 women. In the winters, we use the trucks to blade snow from parking lots and streets of private campuses.

The billboard sign company now employees over 40 guys, and 3 women.

In 2005, we purchased our first jumbotron. For us, it was a gamble and a feat of faith. One of them costs $600g and we didn't know if it'd go over. It did.

In the summer of 2007, we purchased two more jumbos and the advertising for them sold out immediately. So, in 2008, we've got ordered 12 more!

In 2002, we purchase a 14 room Queen Anne Victorian. It wasn't much when we got it, but we got it at a bank foreclosure auction for pennies on the dollar of what it's appraised. It's now full of antiques which we've gotten at auctions or estate sales...as some call them. Friends and family call our home "The Museum" as they think everything's priceless in value. To us, it was just a good investment for a fraction of what new would cost.

In regards to the guys, us getting out of prison was like birds being released from a cage. We all went our own directions either individually or coupled.

Moose and his lover Cody are living in Columbia. I never used Moose's real name in the story because it was a deal between us his name would be anonymous. I've done my best to keep it that way. The deal had me sending them emails so they could read the story first. Their suggestions were put in the story to help clarrify it.

Brick and Jared did not stay together. Jared is now doing his own thing as is Brick. Brick doesn't stay in contact often, however Jared has become a close friend.

The super and his lover John, are real. They are friends of ours. They have read the story, and for privacy reasons, they wish to remain the way they've been depicted. They are great friends, and they are really supportive of us. They too come to our home often and times together are great.

A lot of things changed in the prison system after our release. I could list the changes, but I'm afraid I'd not get things right and would give a first hand knowledge of something which wouldn't be true.

This story is primarily fiction with a lot of biographical instances used for incidents in it. Some of the incidents did not happen, but most did and all too many more did also which weren't written.

To this day, Francisco and I are together. Francisco's name is Rett. My name is Kevin. If you see us out here, feel free to come up and say hello. I've settled down now and times I go into "Boom mode" are few and far between.

With Love

Author's Note:

With Love was written in first hand by myself, Retta Michaels, as a depiction from Boom's perspective. It's confusing, but I'm not he.

As author, I didn't want to write it from my perspective of being a gay man who lands a straight guy in prison. I tried, but it was just too hokey for my taste. For me, it sounded more romantic coming from the hard core convict realizing he could find another man attractive and then grow to love him.

The first chapter is written with a lot of strong language in order to depict how hardened Boom was. Hopefully, as you read through the chapters, you realized he softened until at the end, he was calling other inmates people...instead of freaks or motherfuckers.

Kevin's mom in real life is almost non-existent in our lives. The mother in the story is in real life, mine. I used her as his mom so a softer side could be shown as him already having the capacity for love, but it was within the confines of prison he wasn't allowing himself it to happen.

There are a lot of mistakes in the story. Some of them intentional and some are just from ignorance of our language. You've been kind in correcting those mistakes and for that, I thank you. I'd rather have someone correct me than continue to do it over and over again and look foolish

I had stated "Windhaven" would be the next released. I'm going to release a few short stories I've written before I get into "Windhaven." I want to show the capacity I have as an author to not write "tell all" stories which have a lot of biographical nature to them. Hopefully, some day, I'll reach "Prolific Author" status on Nifty with enough released and you can see the collection in one spot.

Rett