I woke up Sunday morning at 9am. I knew mass had already started so i wouldnt be there in time. Okay i would be there in time with my car but i just felt tired. There was a not besides me. I took it and unfolded it. I knew it was Joe but what was he saying. I prayed he wasnt inviting me out with him again. If so i would pass the offer. I wanted to stay in the whole day. Have some time to myself and see what to do with my college life. I knew i had been there just two days but those days were quite eventful so they meant a lot. However the days hadnt been fruitful. I needed to do something about it. They would determine my college life and if they werent fruitful then my college life wouldnt be. But what was i to do. It was all out of my control.
I opened the note and smiled. It read:
THANKS. DIDNT WANNA WAKE YOU. SEE YOU TONIGHT.
I couldnt help but smile. The way he wrote see you tonight made it feel like he was coming to make love to me and couldnt wait. It made me think he could love me. Even though i knew there was no possibility of him and me, he would always have a corner place in my heart. I got up and went to piss then showered. After that i wore jeans and my favourite white t-shirt. It had been ages since i had emailed or communicated with my family and friends. I took my macbook and checked my emails. There were emails from my family and my best friend. I replied mom and dad first then saved my bestie for last. She was telling me how interesting and adventure filled her college life was. Luck her. It was sort of the opposite for me. I replied her and lied, telling her mine was more packed. I wished it was true. I wished i could tell her how shattered i was but i couldnt
Only one answer was acceptable when asked how college life was. Nomatter how hard it was you had to lie and say it rocked. I closed my laptop and went out to the balcony to stand there and relax. It overlooked the quad which was a rectangular garden with a lawn and some beautiful flowers. There was nobody there so i decided not to go down and sit there. I just looked down from my balcony. I wanted to think, realise where my life was taking me. Would i find love? Nobody knew i was gay yet at this school. Only my best friend and friends and some family back home knew. My parents were oblivious. They were devout Catholics who expected a daughter in law pretty soon. I was deeply absorbed in my thoughts i noticed later on that somebody had walked into the quad and was standing and admiring the beautiful loan and flowers. My eyes didnt want to wander off to him. I just wanted to think. Neither did i want to pay any attention to his presence but he was attracting me with a force stronger than gravity. I didnt want to look but he forced me to take a closer look at him. I was Juliet standing on my balcony and he was my Romeo, calling me to him.
I finaly gave in to the force that was now taking over me. I had no choice. There he stood facing me but we hadnt any eye contact. He stood at least 5ft 10in. He had ripped and tonned muscules, not as bulky as Joes but they were there. They were impressive and his chest stuck out pretty nice from his brown t-shirt. His biceps were tight on his sleeves,not allowing any air in. He wore three quarter shorts and they illuminated his thick shaped thighs and muscled legs. He was a God and he looked as though he had descended from a seventh heaven. His body was perfect. He had a square face with pretty jaws. I couldnt make out his face from my distance but i could see it was to die for. He had raven black hair with no visible facial hair.
Ay Papi, he was a Spanish God with a perfect tan. I wanted to see him up close and personal and make out that glorious face. I ran my hand in my thick blond hair and shook my head. I had to be sure i wasnt watching a dream. Yeah i wasnt. He was real and i had to feel him. I had to at least get closer to that hot body. I had to just shake hands with him and exchange a few words with him. It would rest my sould. Even if i died after doing just that i wouldnt care because i would march straight into heaven for i would have spoken to God. If anybody ever doubted if there was a God he should have seen this Spaniard. He would have faith and be saved right there and then. I felt my cock throbbing. I could see myself with that guy in our house all day and then making love allnight. I was now hard. I had to talk to him. All the while i stared at him and forgot about everything else including the fact that he had felt my stare and was now staring at me aswell in the same way. He waved and i waved back without thinking then ducked into my room. Bad move. I should have stayed. I was embarassed now. I had acted likd a little girl. I had to go down and talk to him to prove i wasnt into him. I was but i didnt have to show. Then i would look silly. I decided not to. I would spent the day locked in my room till Joe came. God why did i just fall like this. Was this a weakness? And he was straight. I knew he was and it would be a repeat of the Joe experience over again. Can life get any harder? For a moment i just wanted to shout. Tell the whole world im gay so the guys could come to me. If life was that simple. I closed my eyes trying to clear my head.
"Hey," he said smiling as i opened the door for him.
"Hey." i said then then closed the door soon as he entered. I looked into those eyes and i could see they were searching. I could sense he had something on his mind but what? I had to wait and see. He drew me closer to him and hugged me tight. I looked down and our eyes met. He leaned in for a kiss and our lips...............
I felt my body shaking and Joe calling my name. I woke up. It was already dark. God i was pissed. Not only could i not have Joe. He prevented me from having anybody else, even in my dreams. I got up from my bed and his face was beaming. I hadnt seen him since he went shopping yesterday. I missed him so i couldnt remain pissed at him. I smiled as he took me to the lounge. He had ordered take outs. He told me it was for appreciation. He told me how grateful he was to have met me and that he was looking foward to be great friends with me. How sweet. We ate then i left. I wanted to go and sleep. Maybe that dream would continue.
I lay there awake it seems i had lost touch with reality. I didnt remember if i had seen that rare delicacy or not. Above all i was anxious about classes. I had two guys i was madly in love with. At least with Joe it was subsiding. With that Spanish God it was so intense. I think more than it had been with Joe. Yet i didnt know anything about him. I didnt even know if he ever lived on campus, i didnt know when i would see him again. I wanted so badly to see him. I didnt know where his room was plus if he was on a different faculty then i wouldnt see him often. My thoughts were cut short when i felt someone besides me then a hand around my shoulder. I closed my eyes and relaxed. Joe felt warm. This was a bad idea.
I didnt know if i could control myself. I wanted to wrap myself around him and kiss him. I needed to relax so i just pushed the thoughts away for a moment. I woke up next morning with a piss hard on. I moved my hip a bit and felt his own cock hard against my ass crack. It was massive and i could feel it. I wanted very much to hold it and suck it but i couldnt. I wanted to see it out of those pants. I hadnt seen it erect. I quickly left the bed and went into the toilet. I left the door open. I took out my 8in erect dick and began pissing. The sound of the water cackling must have woken him because i then saw him standing next to me. He unzipped his pants and let it out. I looked down and couldnt belive myself. There was 10in of cut dick and i couldnt have them. I got out before i got the urge to kneel before him and beg him to feed me. He was making it difficult for me. It was like trying to be a vegetarian then somebody brought steaks and gave them to you. Or being a vampire in Twilight then somebody bleeds and you know you wanna suck em dry but you cant. You hold yourself back. I was tired of that. I needed to let loose.
I was relieved when he went and showered in his room. I wasnt sure i could hold me back. I showered and prepared for my first day of class. I already knew my timetable and i had a map of the campus including the lecture rooms. In the back of my mind i prayed he was doing the facculty of law. The same with me. Then i would see me. I walked into the lecture room with Joe and some girls giggled. I looked up and saw Joes girl together with some other girls who were looking at me funny. I knew she had told them about me plus i was hot and i knew they wanted me. They were searching like me for people to love. We had that and something else in common, we were all searching for boys. Sorry girls im not yours. I hope i belong to someone.
So his girl lived on campus. I smiled at the girls and they waved. I was smiling at her as a matter of fact. She winked at me. Joe went to sit at the top of the lecture room with his girl. I sat in the middle. The lecture room soon filled. We were all waiting, the rest for the lecturer but me for him. I didnt know his name yet but i was taken with him. I prayed he had a sexy Spanish name. The Proffesor came and sadly for me, he was the last person to enter. Oh yeah, he wasnt in the faculty of law. I had to look for him at the residence, his room. The lecture didnt go well for me. I could hear them all laughing in a blur. My mind was somewhere else, it was drifting away, faraway. I finished my first day of learning then rushed to my room. I hadnt seen him. I stood on my balcony till night, well till Joe took me inside but i didnt see him. I was at the least pissed off. I wanted to hire someone to look for a Spanish guy and bring him to me alive. Tuesday was the same, lectures went by in a blur and i rushed to the balcony to no avail, then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I think i saw a ghost. I had been everywhere searching for him. He was hiding from me. Was it just another daydream or he was real? If he was then where the fuck was he?