The door wooshed open and i covered myself before Joe could see.
"Dude you have no idea what happened yesterday," Joe said and my heart began pounding. "What?" i asked. "Some chick tried to lay me but she stopped after just unbuttoning my shirt," he said. "Why?" my face was now beaming.
"I think i said im gay or something. Im never drinking again" Joe said embarassed.
I laughed hard. Not because it was funny but out of relief. I prayed he wouldnt have a flashback and see it was actualy me. I think my laughter embarassed him because he left without notice. It was Saturday morning and classes started on Monday. I hadnt the slightest idea of what i would do that day. I woke up and went to take a piss. I then went into the shower. It was then that i realised i needed a bath to relax me. I ran hot water into the bath and put my bubble bath. This was my remedy for relaxation. I loved that lavender smell and the feel of hot water. It cleared my mind. After all i had so many thoughts i didnt want to deal with. I hoped it would work. It always did. I sat back in the bathtub and closed my eyes to relax and let the lavender and hot water take effect.
My thoughts flashed before my eyes soon as i closed them. Joe was straight and all hopes of having him were lost. I would end up with nobody but my virginity which i desperately wanted to get rid of. Damn life couldnt get any better. Joe would never be gay. If he wasnt after so much alcohol what more when he was sober. I loved him with all my heart. It was nolonger a stupid crush. It was something serious now. Yet i couldnt have him and i would nolonger try to get him. I had gotten off pretty clean and if i tried i wouldnt be so lucky. I had to give up and let life take its course.
Joe was killing me softly. I was falling for him. Infact i was still falling. He was the one i wanted. I wanted to always be with him. However it would never be possible. It would never happen and though hard to do i had to let go of him. Not that we had done anything but i had to let go of him, let go of my feelings for him. God why was my life revolving around this guy? He was straight and had a girlfriend yet i was all up under him. I knew i had to get over him. It was the right thing to do. I had to move on and accept the fact that i would never have him in my arms. The problem however was that i couldnt. I loved him and wanted to be with him. I had feelings for him yet he didnt know any of this.
I didnt want to think anymore. The more i kept my eyes closed the mose i thought. I had to open them and face a bit of reality. I had lost touch with it and i needed it back. It would make me realise Joe was just a fantasy and i had to move on. I opened my eyes and couldnt believe myself. I wiped them, maybe i wasnt seeing right. Yes i was and i liked what i saw. Joe sat opposite me in the bathtub with that smile on his face. The smile he gave his girlfriend. He was giving that to me. I drew closer to him and stretched my hand to touch him. I could almost feel him, i was nearly there and then he disappeared. I slapped myself and saw clearly it was a day dream. He had never been there and would never be.
I got up and pulled up the stopper then took my drying towel and wrapped it around my waist. I dried infront of the wall mirror admiring myself. Hell i was attractive and i was damn rich. I was supposed to have it all. I mean i had everything i wanted and didnt want. Why couldnt i just have a man and get it all. I finished drying then applied lotion.
I walked into my bedroom naked and covered my crotch without thinking.
"Dude we showered together." Joe said. I smiled sheepishly and uncovered then gave him my backside. If he saw my butt then maybe he would love me. It was jus wishful thinking.
"Get dressed im taking you out." Joe said and left. The words he said and how he said them excited me. It was as if he was taking me out on a date. I dressed then went to his room. He was ready and waiting for me. We left in his car. I had no idea where we were going but i was just as excited as he was. Maybe he had remembered it was me who tried to bunk him and he was taking us somewhere romantic so he could fuck the hell outta me. I knew that was impossible but i held on to the edge of that garment.
Joe parked the car and we left. He led the way and i followed after him like a little puppy. We entered a room. Yeah he had taken me bawling. I looked around and nearly threw up. I almost turned green. It was the color of jealousy and i was wearing it. It was his girlfriend. When Joe said he was taking me out. He should have mentioned he was taking his girl also. I wouldnt have came. I hated this girl. I knew i wasnt supposed to but i did. She had him and i didnt. He loved her and not me. That was reason enough.
She approached us with that smile on her face then hugged him. It should be me hugging him not her. After him she came to me and i stretched my hand with a fake smile plastered on my face. We shook hands and then let go. I was officialy not in the mood to partake in any activity but i had to pretend i was having a good time to hide the fact that i didnt like his girlfriend. It was official that Joe wasnt mine to have.
I had to settle for just being his friend. It was the closest i would ever get to him. There was nothing else i was getting. I was officialy not in the mood to partake in anything. "Dude i aint hood with this. I think im jus gon chill." i said. "Cool bro." he said. "Come on Sean. You cant be that bad." she said. "Nah im jus gon chill." i said with a smile, resisting the urge to say I dont want bitch, just get over it. They smiled and began bowling. Joe was good. He flexed his muscles as he bowled and he hit them all. He was so good, i hoped he was as good hitting it in the sack, apparently i had to ask his girl that. They chased each other around and kissed then lift each other up laughing and gigglin. I swear i wanted to die and wake when they were done. It was making me sick. She was having a taste of those lips and had access to things i wouldnt.
This did nothing but make me hate her more. After almost two hours that seemed like years they were done and they came to get me. We left and again i didnt know where we were going but she did. After all she was the one being taken out. I was the gay placeholder following a straight couple around. I sat in the back as she and her boo rode the coupe. We stopped at McDonalds to grab a bite before continuing with the expedition. I wasnt sure i wanted to continue. We got a table for three and i sat opposite her. Joe was between us. How ironic. It was a if he knew we both loved him and he had both of us sandwich him. We all had beef burgers with chips and coke. Atleast that was the best part of the day. They fed each other and kissed. They hadnt done it this close to me so i hadnt realised how awkward it could get. I nearly puked. It was some salt to the wound. They knew i was alone with nobody to love and there they were rubbing their love in my face.
"We are now going to the mall." Joe said. "You two lovebirds go i will take a cab back to school. Thank you for such a good time." i said. "Dont you want to come with?" she asked. "Nah. I will give you some time." i said then pulled out a couple hundred from my wallet and handed them to her. "Thank you. Get him and yourself a present" i got up and she did the same. We hugged and Joe winked at me. I left. There was no way i was spending a full day with them. I would get me a stomach bug.
I was lucky to get a cab as soon as i got out. I headed straight to school. I wanted some time to myself. I had a new feeling as i hugged her. I was surprised i didnt hate her anymore. I couldnt believe myself. I actualy saw myself being friends with her as time went on. There was no jealous in me nomore. It felt like i had come to terms with the fact that he wasnt mine and i had moved on. It felt good. There was nothing to hold me back nomore. I felt as if i was ready to start over and nothing would stop me. It was a good feeling.