Why There Are No Women in The Hobbit Part Three: The Last Homely Whore House
Disclaimer: The fictional characters depicted in this story belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien and George Allen and Unwin (UK) publishers. They are presented here as a fair use sex parody.
Following the harrowing troll incident, in which the whole company was nearly eaten alive, Bilbo had half a mind to turn around and go back to his comfy (and safe!) hole under the hill. But despite his better judgment, he soldiered on and was soon rewarded for his tenacity, for the company had reached the secret valley of the elves: Rivendell! Bilbo had never seen an elf before, and he was enchanted by their grace and beauty, a love that he would carry with him for the remainder of his long life. The elves were tall, as tall as a man, and strong with broad shoulders and sculpted chests: perfectly rounded pectoral muscles capped with pink nipples above abdominal muscles that rippled like waves. They had long hair flowing from their crowns, but their bodies were perfectly smooth with skin that gleamed like porcelain. Some elves wore little more than silken thongs that cradled their genitals and ran up between their buttocks. Others were totally nude, sporting long, thick penises that swayed as they walked. Bilbo, and indeed many of the younger dwarves who had also never seen an elf before, stood in stunned awe as they watched the elves glide past, feeling a growing tightness in their trousers as they watched smooth bubbles of ass bounce with every step. As the dwarves descended into the valley, the elves greeted them with a merry song; clearly, they were expected.
They approached the largest house in the valley, an elegant hall built into the side of a majestic waterfall. Bilbo put his hand against a carved stone pillar. Only skills honed through an immortal lifespan could have wrought the fine detail and delicate motifs in wood and stone that supported the great house, and Bilbo felt that everything was part of the living, breathing valley. As they walked up the steps, the doors opened, and they were greeted by the master of house.
"Gandalf, my friend! Welcome to Rivendell," the master exclaimed.
Gandalf opened his arms and embraced the elf. "Elrond, once again I must thank you for your gracious hospitality...and also your council."
"Please, Gandalf," Elrond replied, "You and your company are always welcome to rest and partake of the all the pleasures Rivendell has to offer. Please, step inside."
As Bilbo entered the hall, he looked more closely at Master Elrond. He had long black hair and a face that was neither old nor young: a square sculpted jaw with a proud, straight nose and dark eyebrows over flashing blue eyes. Bilbo thought he looked different from other elves. Wiser. Stronger. A humanity in his eyes that diminished the etherealness so characteristic of other elves. He wore a long blue robe, cinched at the waist but open above to reveal his muscular chest.
"Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain, you honor our house," Elrond said with a bow. "Please, relax and refresh yourselves before dinner. I'm sure you've had a long journey." Thorin bowed, as one king bows to another, and soon Bilbo and all the dwarves were the driest, warmest, and cleanest they had been in weeks.
Dinner was a feast, a parade of new spices and flavors from across Middle Earth that Bilbo had never dreamt possible. As fond as Bilbo was of food (and he was very fond), he had never tasted anything so delicious, and was soon pleasantly stuffed. Business followed dinner. Gandalf produced a map and a key that were critical to finding the secret door to the Lonely Mountain. With a bit of arcane knowledge and a lot of luck, Elrond soon discovered that the map included Moon Letters that described the exact time and place the dwarves must be to find the hidden key hole. Bilbo saw the dwarves' eyes light up with excitement. They were one step closer to their goal, and there was now a sense of urgency. The timing of the key hole was very specific; they now had a deadline. They also showed Elrond the swords they had pilfered from the trolls, and as luck would have it they were great swords of elvish make, forged for the Goblin Wars: Glamdring the Foe Hammer, Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver, and even Bilbo's little knife that was yet to be named.
"But enough business!" Elrond declared. "You are our honored guests, and we wish to give you all the pleasure our house can provide." Elrond clapped his hands, and a cavalcade of twenty or so elves entered the dining hall. Each was beautiful in his own way, one with a rounder ass, another with broader shoulders, some with squarer jaws or higher cheekbones, some naked and others in thongs. They posed and turned, showing off their luscious bodies that were primed and eager for a night of lust. "Please, choose as many of my elves as you desire. They are here for your sexual pleasure." The dwarves rose from the table, mischievous grins spreading across their broad faces, as they reached down to their crotches to rub their swelling penises.
Nori knelt before a tall blonde elf and pulled the elf's pouch down to his ankles, releasing an eight inch erection that slapped Nori in the face, smearing a trail of silvery precum across Nori's beard and mustache. Ori and Dori decided to share a muscular brunette. The elf bent down to kiss Ori, sucking hungrily on Ori's smooth upper lip, while Dori was busy undoing his brother's pants. Bombur, the largest dwarf, had paired with the largest of the elves and was already on his knees slurping down thick elf meat, while he fumbled with his buckle. The elf's strong but graceful hands held Bombur's head firmly, forcing the fat dwarf further down the elf's cock. Balin had an elf bent at the waist, The old dwarf was playing with the tiny strip of fabric protecting the elf's ass hole. He pushed it to the side to reveal the elf's tight pink sphincter. Balin chuckled and winked at his brother, who had his arms around two strong elves. Dwalin caressed the butt cheeks of each elf before slipping his fingers into their ass cracks and rubbing their hungry holes. Bifur had somehow already removed his trousers. He stroked this thick dwarfhood as an elf got down on all fours to lick his hairy balls. Bofur was between two muscular elven legs, rubbing his Mohawk up and down the elf's pouch, stroking the swelling elf cock inside. The two redheaded dwarves, Oin and Gloin, had found an equally flame haired elf. The elf's long dick was already sliding to the back of Oin's throat. Oin snorted as he breathed air through his nose, and he grabbed and spread each of the elf's bubble butt cheeks to give Gloin access to the elf's sensitive anus. Fili and Kili, though not twins themselves, had found identical twin elves. They stood side by side like a reflection, the only difference was that one had Fili sucking down his long shaft, and the other had Kili, lapping at this rock hard erection. The two dwarves looked at each other as they each slurped and licked and filled their mouths with thick elf cock. Finally, Thorin carefully selected three elves. He kissed a blonde elf passionately on the lips, the elf running his hands through Thorin's thick raven mane, as Thorin stroked the smooth locks of the elf. A second elf was on his knees undoing Thorin's trousers, while the third knelt behind the second and pulled his thong over his rounded rump and down to his knees, rubbing his hands over the smooth muscular mounds. Only little Bilbo held back from the delights before him. His cock was painfully tenting his trousers, but he felt that he wanted something else.
Bilbo felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Elrond beside him. "Why Mr. Baggins, do you not like any of my fine elves tonight?"
"Oh, no!" replied Bilbo. "Er, that is yes, I find them all very fine: handsome and strong and skilled in sex, but I think the elf I most desire is...you."
Elrond raised a bemused eyebrow and released a silvery laugh. He drew Bilbo closer, so that the hobbit's face was just below Elrond's belly button, which was like a small cave nestled between rock hard abdominal muscles. Bilbo inhaled the sweet and spicy scent emanating from below the cinched robe. "If it is me that you want, then it is me, you shall have." Elrond led Bilbo to room off to the side of the great hall and closed the door behind them.
They were in a small bedroom. A bed stood at the room's center, with posts on each corner that seemed to grow into the ceiling like tree branches. Elrond led Bilbo to the bed and gently pushed him into a reclining position. Elrond then stood back and locked eyes with the hobbit. Elrond's hands slid down his chest to the clasp holding his robe. With a flick, it was unbuckled, and the robe cascaded to the floor. Bilbo let out an audible gasp at the sight of Elrond's magnificent body. Broad and rounded shoulders supported muscular arms. His chest was two marble slabs, with a deep crevice running down between them to six perfectly formed abdominals. A hard nipple sprouted from each pectoral muscle. An eight inch penis stood at full attention and swayed over two plump testicles as he approached Bilbo.
The naked elf lord crawled onto the bed over Bilbo and kissed the Hobbit full on the lips. Bilbo took Elrond's chiseled jaw in his hands and opened his mouth to sweet elven breath. They sucked and kneaded each other's lips and explored the taste of each other's mouths. Elrond, who in his many long years had never mated with a hobbit, was just as eager to explore Bilbo's body as Bilbo was eager to explore his. While they kissed, Elrond made short work of the buttons and buckles on Bilbo's clothes. Without quite realizing how, Bilbo found himself completely naked and pinned to the bed by Elrond above him, with Elrond's huge erection pressed against his thigh. Bilbo pulled his lips away from Elrond's. Between hard breaths he said, "Please, Master Elrond, show me what an immortal life has taught you in the ways of sexual pleasure."
"I can show you many things, Mr. Baggins" Elrond whispered into Bilbo's ear in a deep but smooth voice. "But you must surrender your body completely to my instruction. Will you give yourself to me, Mr. Baggins?"
"Yes, Master Elrond," Bilbo replied, almost pleading.
"Very well" said Elrond, straightening up. He bent over the edge of bed and produced a small vial. He poured the amber liquid down his chest and stomach, and flexed his mighty arms. "You may begin by worshiping my body."
Perhaps because he was so short, Bilbo started at the stomach. He kissed and licked the mountains and valleys of Elrond's abdominal muscles. He slid his hands across the thick amber liquid, which was oily to the touch. "Reach up, Mr. Baggins. Massage the oil into my pecs." Bilbo did as instructed, fondling and kneading the elf lord's thick chest while making his body glow with a slick sheen. Elrond, groaned at the deep massage. "Now, work my nipples with your mouth." Bilbo licked higher until he was lapping at a hard bump of flesh sitting atop a mountain of muscle. The oil tasted of olives and nuts and mixed with the sweet flavor of Elrond's skin. "Suck it in deep, and work the tip with your tongue and lips," Elrond ordered. "Yes, that's right. Harder! Now, light flicks of the tongue. Tease me. Make me wet and hard." Bilbo's mouth slipped and slid and tweaked each of Elrond's hard nipples. "Now work your way to my arm pits" Elrond instructed. Bilbo followed his hands upward until the little hobbit was almost hanging from Elrond's arms. He licked and inhaled the warmth of Elrond's armpit, sending tingling shivers through Elrond's body.
"Good, Mr. Baggins," Elrond said with a smile. "You have talented hands for exploring the male body. But how are you with a penis?" Elrond gently guided Bilbo's head down to the elf lord's crotch. His thick shaft was tipped with a shiny pink head, plump like a ripe piece of fruit. "Make me anticipate the warmth of your mouth." Elrond ordered. Bilbo kissed the drooling piss slit, sucking the elf's silvery precum into his mouth. It tasted like honey and jasmine. Bilbo licked all along the shaft and then hovered at the base of the head and lapped rhythmically to entice more delicious fluid out of the cock. Elrond closed his eyes and groaned. "The dwarves have taught you well," he said, starting to breathe heavily. "Now, give me your throat." Bilbo obeyed, and let the thick head pass his lips. "Make a tight seal," Elrond instructed. "Make your lips massage the head of my penis every time I penetrate your mouth." Bilbo kept his lips tight, as he bobbed his head on Elrond's cock, slurping ever more of the elf's intoxicating juice. Elrond grabbed the back of Bilbo's head and slowly forced the entire shaft down Bilbo's throat. Bilbo controlled his breathing and gag reflex and soon had the entire thick pole swallowed to the hilt. "Very good, Mr. Baggins. You are quite extraordinary!" Elrond exclaimed as he withdrew his dick from Bilbo's sucking lips with a pop. "Now again!" Elrond shoved his cock down Bilbo's throat with one smooth motion and out and in again, forcing Bilbo to work the entire length of the cock with his mouth. "In all my long years, you are one of the best mouths to take my cock, Mr. Baggins." Bilbo slurped and gurgled with pride and pleasure. Elrond increased his pace face-fucking the hobbit. His breathing became labored, and he forced Bilbo's mouth all the way to his balls before releasing his seed. Streams of cum poured directly down Bilbo's throat before Elrond allowed Bilbo to pull away and savor the sweet cream on his tongue. Bilbo eagerly licked Elrond's cock clean.
"Your moth is well trained, master hobbit, but how is your other hole?" asked Elrond.
"Even more eager than my mouth for training, Master Elrond," Bilbo exclaimed.
"Excellent!" Elrond replied. "Now turn over, and spread your legs." Bilbo did as instructed and made himself spread eagle on the bed. He shivered at the cold ointment Elrond poured on his back. Elrond worked the oil into Bilbo's back, slowly kneading his way down to the hobbit's plump ass. Elrond rubbed Bilbo's butt until each cheek gleamed. He spread the lightly fuzzy orbs wide and bent down to gently kiss Bilbo's anal lips. Bilbo shivered in delight. Elrond inhaled the light but unfamiliar musk of hobbit ass. Elrond sucked at the puckered flesh, teasing the entrance to open for his tongue.
"You have a very warm and inviting hobbit hole, Mr. Baggin." Elrond said between slurps on Bilbo's tender anus.
"Please, come inside, Master Elrond!" begged Bilbo.
"Presently, my eager little hobbit," Elrond replied with a silver laugh. He poured more of the amber oil, this time direction onto Bilbo's ass hole. Bilbo moaned as Elrond penetrated him with two fingers, gently massaging the viscous liquid deep into the hobbit's relaxed butt. Bilbo's hole ached to be fucked, and he arched his back and thrust his rear end up and back onto Elrond's probing fingers. Elrond anointed his throbbing cock in oil and stroked the long shaft to fully coat it. He removed his fingers from the hobbit's hungry butt and replaced it with his cock. "Open yourself to my cock!" Elrond commanded. The thick gleaming head passed Bilbo's sphincter with ease, and the full eight inches slipped into Bilbo, causing the hobbit to cry out in pleasure at the fullness in his bowels. Elrond proceeded to fuck Bilbo with long smooth strokes, undulating his hips over the little hobbit and pressing Bilbo's raging erection into the bed. The oil made Bilbo's ass more slippery than ever before. The fucking was effortless, almost frictionless, but for the amazing pressure building deep within Bilbo's loins. Bilbo gasped with pleasure, as he used his ass muscles to squeeze and massage the giant cock relentlessly pushing inside him. The motion was so continuous and smooth, like ocean waves lapping at his prostate, that he was soon shuddering and pumping his hobbit semen into the sheets of the bed. Elrond threw back his head and moaned as he emptied himself into the hobbit for the second time. Silvery ropes of elf seed dripped from Bilbo's ass and ran down his taint to the sheets below. Elrond withdrew his still rock hard cock. Bilbo turned over, panting.
"I'm so sorry, Master Elrond," Bilbo lamented. "I'm afraid I've cum all over your sheets!"
"All part of the training, my dear hobbit," Elrond whispered, as he embraced Bilbo and kissed the hobbit on the neck. Bilbo, moaned lightly. He reached down and massaged his seeping ass hole, collecting the silver elf cum on his fingers before rubbing the silky smooth seed over his cock. "Still hungry for more, Mr. Baggins?" the elf lord asked. Bilbo nodded. "Good!" Elrond exclaimed. "Then no need to wait for the next part of your training."
Elrond lay on the bed on his stomach, the arch of his back rolling into the perfect mounds of his smooth buttocks. He handed Bilbo the vial of oil. "Anoint me, Mr. Baggins," Elrond directed. Bilbo did as he was told and dribbled the amber fluid along the elf's spine until it pooled in the dimples just above Elrond's ass crack. Bilbo worked the oil into Elrond's skin until it glowed like gold. "Good. Now deeper, and...lower" Elrond commanded. Bilbo worked the oil over Elrond's round and muscular butt cheeks:. The shine from the oil allowed Bilbo to see his reflection in those two golden orbs. With each hand, Bilbo spread them apart to open the perfectly smooth valley between them. "Yes, deeper," Elrond moaned. Bilbo dribbled more oil down the ass crack and started to work it into Elrond's tight and smooth sphincter. The elf cooed, as Bilbo massed the ring of muscle that guarded the entrance into the elf lord's body. Without even trying, Bilbo slipped one of his fingers into the snug orifice. The ring squeezed his finger drawing it deeper into the velvety darkness. Elrond undulated his hips, stroking Bilbo's finger with his muscle ass. "Now, one more lesson," moaned Elrond. Again, from beneath the bed he produced something Bilbo had never seen before. It looked almost like a dagger, with a long handle and hilt, although at closer inspection, he couldn't tell which was the handle and which the blade. Indeed it seemed to have no blade, but instead a thick phallus emerged from the hilt with bumps and ridges. The entire object was a shiny black. Bilbo took it in his hand. It was a material he had never felt before. Flexible, but not too flexible, and soft, but not too soft
"What is it?" Bilbo asked in wonder.
"It is a pleasure device, Mr. Baggins," Elrond replied. "Now coat it in oil and insert it into my rectum." Bilbo did as he was told, pressing the rubbery phallus against the elf lord's oiled sphincter. Elrond released a satisfied sigh, as the large black head past his anal lips. The tender flesh stretched around the thick phallus, hugging it and drawing it further inside. "Fuck me!" Elrond commanded. Bilbo pumped the dildo into Elrond's perfect butt, the shiny black rod disappearing and emerging from between two golden ass cheeks. "Ah!" Elrond moaned, as Bilbo plunged the depths of his insides. Each pump on the dildo forced the elf lord's aching butt hole to open and close and massaged his sweet spot inside. Elrond was panting with pleasure. "Now, Mr. Baggins, you climb on the other end." At first Bilbo didn't understand, but then he realized that the handle was also shaped like a fat cock. He oiled it up and turned so that he knelt above Elrond, ass to ass. Bilbo lowered his hungry anus onto the black pole, forcing the bulbous black head inside. Bilbo squatted lower until the black phallus was inserted to the hilt, and the littler hobbit rested his ass on the buttocks of the elf lord. Instinctively, Bilbo knew what to do. He bounced his ass up and down on the dildo, slapping his cheeks against Elrond's until their ass holes nearly kissed. As he lifted his hips, Bilbo's ass clenched the dildo drawing it up with him and out of Elrond's hole. Then he drove the thick black cock back inside both their asses as he slammed his butt back down. The two moaned and panted in unison as Bilbo fucked both their holes on the dildo. The slippery anal massage was growing too intense for Bilbo. His cries of ecstasy were growing more urgent, and the pressure built up inside him made him feel like his cock would explode with cum. Elrond heard the need to cum in Bilbo's moans. "Keep going! I'm almost there. Just keep going!" the elf yelled.
"Uhngh," Bilbo moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. "It's so good." He willed his cock to hold its seed a little longer, as he continued to impale both their asses. In a few moments, he felt Elrond convulse beneath him, and Bilbo could resist no longer and spilled his cum once again as the elf pumped his sweet spunk all over the bed. Bilbo slipped the dildo out of his ass.
The two lay on the bed catching their breath. After a few moments, Elrond asked, "Ready to join the others?" with a wink.
Back in the main hall, the dwarves were still going full force. Bombur was on his back with a muscle bound blond elf plowing the dwarf's chubby hole. Oozing streams of elf cum seeped past the thick cock pistoning in and out of his hungry ass. Bombur's moans were muffled by another elf sitting on his face. Bifur was licking the ass hole of the elf fucking his cousin, lapping at the tasty orifice every time the elf's hips pulled back. Bofur, meanwhile, was sucking Bombur's dick while being fucked from behind by another elf. Oin and Gloin were still with the flame haired elf. The elf was standing on one foot, with his other leg over Gloin's shoulder, his body as a right angle with the floor. Gloin was busy thrusting his thick dwarf meet into the elf's willing hole, while Oin fed him dwarf dick in his mouth. Fili and Kili had formed a twin elf sandwich. Fili was on his back on the ground, his cock thrust into the tight and tender ass of an elf lying on top of him. The elf was in a deep throating sixy-nine position with his twin, tasting his own dick on his identical brother. Kili was on the top plowing the ass of the upper twin and gently rubbing his hard dwarvish nipples. Balin was on his back, hands behind his head and straddled by a bronzed skinned elf. The old dwarf smiled in delight as the elf impaled himself onto Balin's thick dwarf meat. The elf's strong thighs strained as he bobbed up and down on dwarf cock, and his perfectly sculpted eyebrows arched in ecstasy, as Balin's cock sent waves of pleasure thought the elf's body. Dwalin was nearby with two elves of his own. They were both on all fours, presenting their hungry ass holes between perfect bubbles of ass cheeks. The dwarf vigorous thrust into the tight hole of one elf, while fingering the hole of the other. The elf with Dwalin's cock up his ass was moaning and shouting and pressing his hips back against the dwarf's raging thrusts, while the other begged Dwalin to fuck him some more. Dwalin soon obliged and switched out one warm tight rectum for the other, pleasuring each elf in turn. Ori was on his hands and knees busy sucking down a thick elf cock, while another elf savored the strong flavor of Ori's puckered ass. Each of these elves were being fucked by Ori's bothers Noori and Dori, creating an elf-dwarf chain, from cock to ass and dick to mouth. Thorin was finishing with his three chosen elves. The dwarf king had one elf on his back, his legs slung over Thorin's wide shoulders, and was thrusting his fat cock into the elf's spread butt hole. Another elf was behind Thorin, lapping hungrily at the dwarf's hairy ass trench. The third straddled the elf on his back and fed his elf dick to the dwarf king. Bilbo could see glistening streams of dwarf cum running out of each of the elf's used holes.
At the sight of frenzied breeding, Bilbo felt his cock harden once more. Elrond, noticed the hobbit's impressive erection. "One last lesson, Mr. Baggins?" Bilbo nodded excitedly. Elrond got on the table on all fours, his perfect muscle ass facing Bilbo. The hobbit needed no further invitation. He climbed onto the table behind the elf lord and placed his dick between Elrond's smooth oiled globes. Bilbo's cock slid along Elrond's glistening ass crack, guided directly to the elf's waiting hole. The sphincter opened, readily enveloping Bilbo's hard cock in exquisite warmth and tightness. Bilbo let out a sigh and slowly started to pull his dick in and out of the Elrond's sweet ass. Elrond let out a groan as the hobbit slid his cock in and out of his warm, slippery orifice. Bilbo felt the elf lord's ass squeeze and release his cock, almost sucking his dick into the hungry ass. The hobbit instinctively knew Elrond wanted more, and he started to fuck Elrond's ass harder and faster. As Bilbo worked up a faster rhythm, he felt familiar strong hands stroking his chest. Without having to look, Bilbo knew that Thorin had filled has last elf with cum and had wanted one final fuck from his burglar. Without any ceremony, the hobbit felt the dwarf king's familiar thick rod slide into his cum-lubed ass hole. The renewed pressure in his rectum made Bilbo gasp with delight. Lust overcame Bilbo: his body took control as his mind reeled from the sensations in his dick and ass. He started to fuck with a ferocity he didn't know he had, thrusting fully in and out of Elrond with audible pops has his head crested the elf's tight sphincter. His wild bucking squeezed and stroked Thorin's cock until all three were climaxing, convulsing and shooting their hot loads.
Thorin and company stayed and enjoyed the pleasures of Rivendell for a few more days, but time was short and they were soon ascending the valley and returning to the wilderness. Bilbo wondered if he was ever to know such comfort again. But while they may have been leaving the last homely house, he wondered even more what adventures lay ahead.
To be continued...
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