CHAPTER 14 -
The guys would spend two weeks in Germany. They decided to perform three more shows since the first two ones had tickets sold out. Right now they had one more week and two shows to perform before flying again.
The five boys were enjoying the stay the best they could, but some of them were enjoying a bit more, if you could say so.
During the days Nick and Brian had been spending together after his heart surgery, being away from their girlfriends, every time they could they would sneak around to make out. A few things just weren't right, though. It was very obvious to Nick that he had been the one to start things up. The kisses, everything. Brian had been sort of aloof.
The reason for this was that suddenly it hit him. Since that day when the phone rang and kept them from doing something else. This was wrong, they were best friends, they couldn't be doing this anymore... But still they kept it up.
They were now in their shared room, the video game ahead of them completely forgotten as they continued their hot making out section.
Brian was kissing him passionately, he knew he could never get tired of the way Nick kissed. He was always exploring, gently, so sweet, his tongue always so unsure, going slowly inside his mouth, as if asking for permission.
Although this feeling was amazing Brian pulled away. Nick was smiling but when he looked at Brian he frowned.
"What? Whats up?" - Nick asked as Brian looked flustered.
"Nick... I don't know, I really think we should stop this..."
Nick only stared at him.
"We are best friends, things may get confusing, I'm afraid we are crossing a line of no coming back." - Brian said honestly.
"Why? I don't think so. Everything is fine..."
"Nick! That time when we got here. We began to make out and if it weren't for the phone, if it weren't Kevin calling us things would have gotten intense, ya know... I really don't wanna think of what could have happened if we weren't interrupted."
"Nothing would happen!" - Nick said in a laid back voice.
"Nick, don't lie. You felt that too, just like that one time at the pool, remember?"
Nick nodded and looked at his hands.
Brian lifted his chin.
"I'm not mad at you, please! Its just that one of these days there will be no one there to stop us and we are gonna ruin our friendship, Nick. You know this is a thing that has no coming back."
Nick sighed.
"But we can keep going, just not do it when there is no one around to stop us, without us being caught, of course."
Nick had no idea why he was insisting, but since he saw Brian with Leighanne... he just didn't want to lose him to her. Maybe he was being jealous or even as possessive as his own girlfriend. But Brian was HIS best friend, no one could take him away.
"No, Nick... remember when we stared it? You said we could stop when we wanted, and I think I want it now."
"Ok." - Nick nodded.
He didn't know why a knot formed on his throat. It wasn't the fact that they wouldn't make out anymore, it just felt as if Brian was pushing him away.
"Nick, you are not mad, are you?"
"No!" - Nick smiled and shook his head. - "I'm ok, really."
No matter how hard he tried, Nick could never hide anything from Brian. He was hiding his own disappointment in saying this to Nick, but his friend was obviously sad. Maybe he felt as if Brian was pushing him away.
"Nick, you are my best friend and will always be."
They smiled.
"I'm ok, really man. We both knew this was gonna end sometime, didn't we?"
Nick smiled again.
"Yes." - Brian smiled back.
Their decision of stopping lasted only for two days. Brian was the very one to break their deal.
The two of them were doing some wrestling after coming back home from a concert. They fell on the floor and when Brian was on top he couldn't resist what he saw. Those lips, fucking damnit! He couldn't let go of the way they tasted.
Nick was in shock as Brian leaned down and pulled him into a kiss. He was surprised as hell, Brian was the one to say they shouldn't be doing this anymore! But oh, he wouldn't be the one to stop him...
When Brian broke the kiss Nick stared at him with questioning eyes and a smirk.
Brian sighed.
"Ya know that thing you said about doing this when there is people around without being caught..." - Brian made gestures with his hand.
Nick laughed loudly.
Yeppers, they were back to their special friendship. It was just too good, maybe they were addicted to it right now. Maybe they had already crossed the line of no coming back...
The boys were changing cloths after a show to go home. Backstage Kevin, Brian, Nick, Howie and AJ had their little time to have fun, pick on each other and do the normal stuff best friends do. Well, best friends that weren't Nick and Brian...
"Hey, hey, hey!" - Nick kept pretending he was punching Brian's shoulder, driving him crazy.
"Will you stop? What is wrong with you today?" - Brian asked laughing slightly.
"Only today?" - AJ raised his eyebrows and they all laughed.
"Hey, lets fight, lets fight!" - Nick kept bitching Brian.
"Oh, God. Not now, I wanna change and go home."
"Oh, you sissy!" - Nick teased grinning.
"Whatdja say?" - Brian's eyes widened and he looked at Nick giggling.
"Exactly what you heard!" - Nick exclaimed.
The three other boys stared when Brian knocked Nick down on the floor and kept his hands and arms.
"Oh, shit! No, get off! Damn, you caught me out of guard!" - Nick complained trying to free himself.
"Out of guard? You were the one teasing me to fight!" - Brian laughed and held Nick's hands even tighter. - "Waz the problem, Nicky? You can't move, darling?" - Brian mocked a funny voice and laughed loudly together with the boys.
"Yeah, who's the sissy now, huh?" - Howie teased.
"Shut up!" - Nick yelled still laughing.
"Tsc-tsc. What a shame." - Kevin shook his head in disapproval only to make Nick even more pissed to be losing the fight.
"Alrgh!" - Nick screamed trying to get his arms and hands free. - "When did you get that godamn strong?" - Nick whined.
Brian laughed and so did the boys.
"What? Didn't you want to fight, huh? Huh?" - Brian began to tickle Nick, sitting on his chest and having him totally under control.
"Damn!" - Nick yelled. - "Stop it please! I hate when you do that!" - Nick was almost laughing till tears.
"Oh, God, they are so childish." - Howie said in a warm tone.
"Lemme go!" - Nick whined among cries and laughers coming from the frantically way Brian was tickling his stomach.
"C'mon, Nick, gotta say the magic words." - Brian told him.
"What magic worlds?" - Nick asked in his sweet innocent voice, still struggling against Brian's hands, trying to free his own.
"Those words, ya know... Brian Littrell is my master!"
Everyone burst out laughing in the room.
"I ain't gonna say that!" - Nick protested.
"Oh, man, this is so humiliating." - AJ shook his head grinning.
"Say it! You wanna get away, don't you? Say... Brian Littrell is my master!"
"C'mon, Nick, its easy." - Kevin teased him, loving the little show.
"C'mon..." - Brian said sweetly, looking Nick in the eyes.
Nick looked back at him and grinned.
"Brian Littrell..." - he began. - "... fuck you!"
They all laughed so hard their stomach ached. Even Brian lost some of his strength and Nick almost inverted positions. Almost.
"No, no, no... thats not what I said." - Brian said very slowly and teasingly. - "C'mon, Nick... Kevin said, its easy... Brian Littrell is my master."
Brian looked into his eyes, they were actually only inches away, and smiled.
"If its easy then why don't you say it, Kevin?"
The older man looked at Nick.
"Tssss!" - he said lifting his nose. - "You got yourself into that, buddy."
"Oh, maaaaaaaaaan!" - Nick whined. - "All right, all right. Brian Littrell is my fucking master! Are you satisfied?"
Brian giggled and finally let go of him.
"Yes. Good boy." - he said stroking Nick's hair s they stood up.
"Fuck off!" - Nick said mocking anger.
They were all laughing when they left backstage.
They were both laid on the bed. It was late at night, everybody else in Germany should be asleep by 4am. Their beds joined together, the way they always liked it. Nick had his head against Brian's chest and his friend was caressing his hair slowly. This was something they had never done. Nick and Brian had never been this close of actually cuddling and caressing like this. They hadn't spoken one word for hours at least. They were just there, lying. Maybe they even did that before, in the earlier days, but they didn't know why something felt different now. Something made this feel even better. But by now they were so confused that silence seemed like the best thing to explain it without ruining it, to make them feel everything without fearing it.
Nick sighed and buried his head even deeper on Brian's sweater. He loved that scent. Brian always knew how to pick out the best bottles of perfume. He wished he could be as smart as him. Yes, Nick always looked up to Brian. He was everything he ever wanted to be. The popular guy, the cool one. And Nick? He was a shy young teen in the middle of four older people to begin a career, a dream.
Since the first day he knew Brian was the kind of boy he envied. In school he probably met everyone. The kind of boy with whom all the girls wanna be with. Either coz they have the hots for him, or just because he is cool. He could even picture Brian in classroom, lots of cute girls around him. Those girls he always wanted to impress but didn't seem to care about him.
In high school Brian should have been the type of boy that all the girls talk about secretly in the hallway, the one that knows everyone, no matter what year they were in. And to top it off Brian was sweet. He wasn't snobbish, he was charming and all this made him everything a person could want in a friend, in a lover. Nick always wanted a friend like this. And one of the happiest things in his life was that when he met Brian he didn't have to ask for this friendship. They had just clicked.
As best friends. Brian took Nick in his arms and protected him, taught him, opened the doors to the world Nick wanted so bad to belong to. And Nick gave Brian the key to his own little world. His fears, his secrets... His silly and innocent thoughts. His questions, his doubts, his dreams, his heart and soul.
Lying there, so close to each other, Brian's hand smoothing Nick's hair and neck, the blond's face almost hiding inside Brian's sweater, smelling his scent. Why had that happened to them? Why was it so easy to be around each other? Why was this friendship so special? Nick,... Nick that could be the most insecure boy, that would never open up to anyone and show his feelings, why did he feel that with Brian he was talking to his own self and for that reason being completely understood?
And Brian... why did he feel so connected to that child? What did he see in Nick? Maybe his paternal side? He watched him grow, in so many ways he knew he influenced Nick. Always he wanted to show him the right way. He never put any kind of pressure on Nick whenever he had a secret. He knew the boy would always come to him. And it wasn't just this, Brian needed him too. This friendship was something so strong that if Brian lost Nick now he would be losing his own self. They were connected.
There is a book that says whenever we die our body is divided in four soul. Two women and two men. They are our soul mates, and the reason we are born again is to find at least one of these other halves of ours.
Maybe it was this. Maybe Nick and Brian were sort of soulmates. What else could explain what they had been doing? And the way they had always been with each other? And the way they were now lying on the same bed without saying a word, just feeling each other's warmth and knowing this was home...?
Whatever had changed in their hearts could never be wrong. Actually, nothing had ever felt so right.
Ok, I need to know if there are people reading this, otherwise I won't go on.
Lionessy@hotmail.com