Author note: Hellloooo! It's me again. Okay this is the most crucial chapter for me. Anyway just read it hehehehe. But before that, as usual my Oscar speech. Thanks to: Yuli ["Busta"], James [his story coming soon], Angel [this is it!], Alain [busy man as always], Nate [where is it? I'm counting the days], Gene [the one who kept grown up], Keith [Hanging there buddy, I'm here], Tom [more lesson??], Jannick [Thanks!], and everybody who read this story. Wait thanks to David [Nifty dude :)] and one person who checked this story for me.
Please I beg you, guys...send those feedback to me...good or bad, I don't care...Please...email me to Tonny aspire34@go.com
Disclaimer This story is involving homosexuality. Do not continue if this will offend you. If accessing this story causes you to break local laws, please leave now. By continuing, you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to sexually explicit material. The content and opinions expressed in this story do not imply anything with regards to the sexual preference of any member of any celebrities named herein. It is a work of fiction entirely. The author takes no responsibility for anyone's actions based upon this work of fiction
********************************************************************* WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL *********************************************************************
Previously on 'When you say nothing at all':
"Listen to me! He stays with me from now on, and if you have problem with that, you'd better start looking for a hotel now!" Justin said sternly.
"Justin," I called him to let Jimmy go.
"Whoa...chill out man!" Jimmy pushed Justin lightly to loosen his grip. "I'm just asking man!" Jimmy was pissed off. "Sorry, Ton," Jimmy apologized.
"That's cool," I replied, and Justin cooled down a bit.
"I'm sorry, too, Jimbo," Justin said to him, and Jimmy just nodded.
"MMM. Guys, I'm hungry," JC spoke up to change the subject.
"Ok. Why don't we go out for dinner?" Justin suggested.
"Great!" Chris said, excited, "Let me change first."
"Yeah, me too," Justin said. Then we all were heading to our rooms to change clothes. Justin, JC, and Chris walked ahead, while Jimmy and I followed behind them. Before I stepped into my room, Jimmy grabbed my shirt...
"He's mine" Jimmy whispered in my ear then he left to go to his room.
CHAPTER 16: EVERYTHING FADES AWAY
It had been 5 days. I stayed in Justin's house with the guys and Jimmy. Somehow he was always giving me a hard time behind Justin's back, but, when Justin was around, he was so nice to me.
One night, Justin and the guys left Jimmy and me alone in the house. The guys were going to have some meetings with their management. Justin said that he would be back pretty late and asked me not to wait for him. I sat in the living room, watching TV since I was nothing to do. Suddenly, Jimmy came to join me, bringing two glasses of drinks.
"Hey Ton, what're ya doing?" Jimmy asked me as he sat next to me.
"Just watching TV," I replied.
"Here, I brought you some juice," Jimmy offered me a glass of juice.
"Thanks, but I'm not thirsty," I smiled.
"Come on! I brought this to you already." he insisted.
"Okay, thanks, man." I said as I took the glass from him.
"There you go! Let's have a toss then," he took his glass, "for you and me!"
I was confused by his words but I just ignored it. I sipped the juice that he gave to me. Then we just kept silent. All of a sudden, I felt dizzy, so I decided to go back to my room.
"Jimmy, I'm not feeling well. Sorry, I have to go back to my room" I told him as I hold my head. I felt the world around me spinning. I stood up.
"Not so fast!" Jimmy grabbed me. The next thing I knew, it was all black.
JUSTIN'S HOUSE-ORLANDO 09:15 17/08/1999
"TONY!" Justin yelled out loud, and it was so loud until Lynn, JC, and Chris came to my room.
I woke up and felt my head. It was heavy. I didn't know what had happened, but I was naked and on top of Jimmy. He was naked too and crying. By now, I was totally confused, then Jimmy pushed me aside, grabbed a quilt around him, and ran to Justin. I quickly grabbed my boxer shorts, jeans, and T-shirt on the floor and put them on as quickly as I could.
"Justin! He raped me...he raped me last night," Jimmy cried on Justin's shoulder. Justin was just stunned after seeing what had happened.
"No...No! I didn't do anything to him." I spoke up.
"Yes, you did. You grabbed me last night and brought me to your room. Then you ripped off my clothes before you did it. You even hit me." Jimmy sobbed.
"No, Justin! That's not true. I don't know how this happened but I didn't do anything to him. Trust me." I was shaking with the whole situation.
"Liar! You just raped me!" Jimmy snapped back. I walked to Justin, who was still in shock.
"Trust me, Just. I didn't do it," I looked at him, and I tried to hold back my tears.
Suddenly, Justin slapped me really hard across my face. It really hurt and left a red mark on my face.
"Justin, no one has ever slapped me before, not even my parents. YOU just slapped me." I couldn't believe it and cried as I put my hand on my face.
"YOU FUCKING LIAR. I SAW IT TON! AND YOU'RE DENYING IT! How could you...how could you? After what I've done for you. I trusted you, but you betrayed my trust. You keep saying that you're not ready for sex with me, but you were SO READY with my best friend. WHAT ARE YOU? A WHORE? YOU'RE A SLUT!" Justin yelled as he tried to hold in his tears.
I couldn't believe that Justin said that to me. I shook my head no as I couldn't believe what Justin just said. I looked at everyone in the room. Then JC came to me and punched me. I fell to the floor.
"THIS IS FOR YOU! For playing all these games with Justin!" JC punched me again.
I felt blood running down my nose. I looked at Justin, who didn't do anything as JC hit me. I stood up as tears poured down from my eyes. Then Jimmy came and hit my stomach with his knee. I fell down to the floor again, curled up into a ball as I felt pain in my stomach. I looked at all of them. I saw disgust and anger all over their faces except Chris, who kept silent. I saw sympathy in his face.
"NOW GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE. WE'RE DEFINITELY OVER. I REGRET BRINGING YOU HERE. I'D RATHER SEE YOU DEAD!" Justin shouted as I crawled to his knee.
"Justin...Justin...I don't have anyone here, pleaseeee," I begged him, still crying.
"SHAME ON YOU! LOOK AT YOU, YOU JUST LOOK LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT. NOW GET OUT!" Justin quickly put all of my clothes into my bag, and he grabbed me by my hair.
He pushed me and dragged me downstairs. JC took my bag. Jimmy opened the front door. Justin pushed me hard till I fell to the ground.
"Justin!" I called his name but he ignored and slammed the door. Then it opened again and JC threw out my bag and my shoes.
"GO! Before I call the cops to get rid of you." JC shouted, then he slammed the door.
I really didn't know what to do. I looked around me. It was all quiet. I took my shoes and put them in my bag. I stood up from the ground and wiped the blood from my nose with my sleeve. I looked at the house one last time. Then I started to walk. Yeah walked to nowhere.
You think that I can't live without your love You'll see You think I can't go on another day You think I have nothing Without you by my side You'll see Somehow, some way
You think that I can never laugh again You'll see You think that you destroyed my faith in love You think after all you've done I'll never find my way back home You'll see Somehow, some way
All by myself I don't need anyone at all I know I'll survive I know I'll stay alive All on my own I don't need anyone this time It will be mine No one can take it from me You'll see
You think that you are strong, but you are week You'll see It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat I have truth on my side You only have deceit You'll see, somehow, some way
All by myself I don't need anyone at all I know I'll survive I know I'll stay alive I'll stand on my own I won't need anyone this time It will be mine No one can take it from me You'll see You'll see, You'll see
I didn't know where I was going. I just walked and walked. It was nearly noon already, and the street was just getting crowded. Many people passed my way, all staring at me as I walked with bare feet and blood on my shirt. The temperature was also rising that day. I just realized that I'd been walking for more than 3 hours non-stop. I was thirsty and hungry. I wanted to stop to buy some food, but my heart kept asking me to walk.
#### ####
"Kev, I'm so tired man. Where do we go now?" Nick asked as he put his grocery bags into the backside of the car.
"Ok, let's go home. Let me drive," Kevin said as he opened the passenger side.
"What a day!" Nick sighed, "It's so damn hot!"
"I know." Kevin started the engine and drove.
"So what do we have for tomorrow, Kev?"
"Hmm we have a meeting with our management, discussing the concept of our new video, 'Larger Than Life'"
"OOOO another boring day" Nick mumbled out.
"If I'm not wrong, we are going to perform that song on VMA" Kevin added.
"Speaking of MTV, I wonder, what Tony is doing now.
"Tony? Hmmm, I haven't spoken to him for the past two months."
"Why? I thought you chatted with him all the time."
"Yeah, but I don't know what happened with him lately. I keep sending emails to him, but he never replies to them." Kevin sighed as he took a right turn.
"Why don't you try to call him at his office in Singapore." Nick suggested.
"Yeah, I'll try that later. I'm concerned about him. He doesn't say anything at all." Kevin replied as he focused on the road.
"You miss him?" Nick looked at Kevin.
"Yeah, I miss him."
"I miss him too, so let's plan another holiday trip to Singapore again." Nick tried to cheer Kevin.
"Okay, Okay, let's see what I can do." Kevin giggled and he stopped the car because of a red light. Nick just looked outside the window.
"Hmmm, from behind, that guy is just like Tony," Nick spoke up.
"Which one?" Kevin asked.
"That one, the guy who is holding his bag and walking without shoes." Nick pointed in my direction. I was 100 meters from them.
"Ah come on, he's just a homeless person, Nick. Tony is in Singapore, remember?" Kevin said as he started driving again when the light was green. Nick just kept staring at me as their car passed me. Nick turned around to see me as the car passed.
"WAIT! IT'S TONY!" Nick shouted. That made Kevin jump a little and hit the brake. Kevin turned his back to see me.
"TONY! TONY!" Nick screamed as he rolled down the window.
I heard someone screaming my name, but I ignored it. I just had to walk and walk. Kevin backed up his car to get closer to me. Both of them got out of the car and ran toward me. They stopped in front of me.
"Tony! What happened to you?" Kevin shook me, and I just kept walking. Kevin and Nick were shocked that I was ignoring him. They saw blood stains on my shirt, and I looked like a mess.
"TONY! Stop walking!" Nick grabbed me to stop me. Kevin stood in front of me and put his hands on my shoulder and shook me again.
"TON! What happe..." before Kevin finished his words, I fell to the ground as my body was very weak.
"Oh my God! Kevin...he fainted!" Nick panicked.
"Ton, wake up!" Kevin tried to hold my back to give me some support.
"Nick! Get his bag," Kevin ordered as he took me to his car.
"Kevin, what should we do?" Nick looked at me.
"Wateeer...Waterrrr..." I softly spoke up.
"Nick, give me a water, quick!" Kevin still held me on the back seat, while Nick was in the front.
"Here!" Nick gave Kevin a bottle of water. Kevin helped me hold the bottle.
"Ton! We should take you to the hospital, this is serious," Kevin was still shocked at seeing my condition.
"Nnnooo......Please nooooo......hooomme...homeee," I whispered softly as I started to cry again.
"Okay...Okay...Nick! You drive...quick! Go home." Kevin ordered, and Nick nodded, driving as fast as he could.
I leaned on Kevin's body as he tried to hold me tightly. He still confused since he didn't know what happened to me. He tried to hold his tears when he saw me in such a condition. The ride took about 10 minutes since Nick was driving like a mad man. Kevin's house is not as big as Justin's, but I still considered it a big house.
"Nick, you take his bag and open the front door." Nick nodded, and quickly exited the car.
Kevin opened the car door and carried my half-conscious weak body to his house. When we were inside, he put me on the couch. Nick stood and worried about me. Kevin kept checking my pulse.
"Nick, get me some warm water and a small towel now!" Kevin looked at Nick, and Nick ran straight to the kitchen.
"Kev, Nick! Is that you?" AJ shouted as he, Howie, and Brian came downstairs to see what was happening. When they saw someone lying on the couch, they all ran towards us.
"Oh, no, what happened, Kev?" Brian asked him.
"AAA is that Tony?" Howie was shocked when he realized it was me.
"Kev! What the hell happened to him?" AJ worried.
"I dunno guys, we met him on our way back home, and he fainted." Kevin kept holding my hand.
"Kev, here's the water," Nick gave it to Kevin.
Kevin wet the towel in the warm water, and then he squeezed it to get out the extra water. He took the warm towel to clean my face, wiping off the dirt and dried blood remaining there. When it touched my nose, I opened my eyes as I felt pain when Kevin pressed the cloth to my nose.
"Ton!?! You woke up," Kevin cheered a bit, while the others still stood around Kevin and me.
"Who are you? Whhheere where am I?" I asked softly.
"It's me, Kevin, and you're in my house." Kevin replied. I felt some small strength return to me. I tried to sit instead of lying down. Kevin noticed this and helped me by supporting by back with his hand. He was holding me tightly as I was leaned on his body.
"Keeeev...Guys," I called them as I my tears started to fall again.
"Ton, are you okay? What happened to you?" Nick asked me.
I didn't know how to answer his question. It hurt and was so painful.
"Sshhhh, tell me what happened to you, Ton." Kevin asked me as the others took a seat on the couch around us. After a long pause, I took a deep breath and I told them the whole story, starting when Michael fired me and ending with Justin kicking me out of his house. Sometimes I paused for awhile and cried, but Kevin tried to comfort me and asked me to go on.
"He hit me, and they threw me...they threw me. He didn't believe me anymore, guys," I finished my story and Kevin hugged me to comfort me. I cried on his shoulder. All of them listened with sad looks as all of them tried to hold back the tears. All of them except Brian, who had a suspicious look on his face.
"Ssshh don't worry, Ton, you have me...you have me. I'll take care of you," Kevin said as he rubbed my back to calm me down. "Justin was so stupid to believe that jerk, Jimmy. I'm going to get him later." Kevin said angrily. I pushed him lightly.
"Please, Kev, don't do anything to him, please. He's blind, and he didn't know the real facts," I said as I looked into his eyes.
"BUT he hit you, and he didn't have the right to do that to anyone. He's abused you, Ton," Kevin explained.
"NO! NO! He didn't abuse me. He just didn't trust me," I said. "Please don't do anything to him. Please, Kev, guys," I looked all of them.
"Okay...Okay...You need a rest. You're still weak, Ton." Kevin advised me. "Let me take you to my room," then Kevin carried me to his bedroom. He put me on his bed. He took off my dirty shirt and my jeans and just left me with my boxers on. He tucked me in with a blanket.
"Kevin, thank you." I smiled at him, and he nodded.
"Don't worry, now you have to sleep, Ok?" He placed a kiss on my forehead. I quickly closed my eyes.
Kevin sighed as he looked at me sleeping peacefully. He saw some bruises on my face. He touched my face carefully, trying not to wake me up. After 5 minutes, seeing me asleep, he stood up, exited his room and went back to meet the guys downstairs.
"How is he, Kev?" Nick asked as Kevin took a seat.
"He's sleeping," Kevin replied sadly.
"I can't believe that happened to him," AJ said.
"Yeah, did you see the bruises on his face? They did hit him pretty badly," Howie added.
"I don't believe him, guys," Brian spoke up. As Brian said that, all eyes went to him.
"Excuse me?" Kevin looked at his cousin confused.
"I don't believe him, Kev. Come on, guys! Justin has never hit anyone. If he really hit Tony, then Tony must have done something really bad." Brian explained.
"Brian...don't you think this was all Jimmy's plan?" Nick argued.
"If Jimmy told the truth, Tony is a rapist." Brian argued back.
"BRIAN! He's not a rapist, and I believe him 100%." Kevin raised his voice, and the others nodded their agreement.
"Okay...Okay...But I warned all of you guys." Brian stood up and left the room.
"He is not a rapist." Kevin said it again as he buried his face in his hands.
"I know, Kev. We believe him." Howie said. Nick and AJ nodded.
"Thanks guys," Kevin replied.
"So what's the plan?" Nick asked
"I don't know Nick, but he'll stay with me for a while. He suffered enough for one day," Kevin said as he looked at Nick.
"Yeah, he needs us," AJ added.
"I have to check on him. See y'all later, ok?" Kevin stood up and left them.
Kevin entered his room and saw me sleeping on his bed. He pulled a chair next to the bed to sit on as he kept watch over me. He looked at me sadly when he saw some bruises on my face. After 4 hours, I woke up, as I felt thirsty and hungry. I opened my eyes slowly, and I saw Kevin smiling at me.
"Hi," Kevin called me softly.
"Kevin," I sat up on the bed.
"Why did you wake up?"
"I'm thirsty."
"Wait, I'll bring you some water, ok?" He stood up and left me.
A few minutes later, he brought me a glass of water. I took a sip as I looked down at the bed. I held an empty glass in my hand.
"Kev, I should go," I spoke up.
"What?" he cocked an eyebrow, "Why?"
"I can't stay here, Kev. I don't want to bring more problems to anyone."
"What are you talking about? No! From now on, you're going to stay with me. I'm going to take care of you."
"But...Kev."
"No BUT! Look at you, you need someone, Ton. And I'm going to look after you. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore," Kevin looked at me full of sincerity.
"Kev," I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say.
"I care about you, Ton. When Nick and I found you on the street like that, it hurt me. From the beginning, I really loved you; but I understood that you had Justin, so I consider you my best friend. No matter what happened, I still love you, Ton" Kevin said as he tried to hold back his tears. Then he kissed me.
I didn't push him this time. I admitted that I had some small feelings for him, and he seemed like a great guy for me. I've known him longer than Justin. However, some part of my heart said that I still loved Justin.
"Kevin, at the moment, I can't love you. It still hurts, I'm still afraid for another relationship," I started to cry.
"I understand, and I won't push you; but I won't give up so easily, Ton. I'm going to get your heart because there's no Justin anymore," Kevin hugged me.
As I heard his name, I put my face on his shoulder and cried. It hurt so much, even after all this time. Suddenly, everything faded away.
"Kev, I love him." I sobbed.
"But he doesn't love you anymore, Ton. He doesn't trust you anymore. He even hit you. There's no love between you two. Please open your heart for me, Ton. Please," Kevin looked at me, his eyes full of hope.
"Kev," I called his name.
"You don't have to answer now. I'll wait until you're ready," Kevin kissed my cheeks. Then my stomach made a sound to interrupt us. Kevin giggled.
"You must be hungry. Come on let's have something to eat. Do you want to eat here or downstairs with the guys?" Kevin asked.
"Downstairs," I replied with smile.
"Are you sure?" he asked for assurance.
"Yeah, but I need to put my clothes on. Can you give me my bag, please?"
"Sure" Kevin handed me my bag, and I picked a T-shirt and sweatpants.
"Um. Can you turn around please?" I asked him.
"Why? I took your clothes off before."
"Yeah, but now it's different. I'm not comfortable if someone watches me while I'm changing my clothes," I explained.
"Okay...Okay" Kevin giggled and turned around as I put my clothes.
"Done! You can see me now."
"Damn! I missed seeing you naked again," Kevin said jokingly.
"Hey! Watch out," I giggled and he laughed.
"Okay come on, everyone waiting for you," Kevin took my hand and we both left his room.
We went to the dining room, and I saw everyone had started already. When they saw me, they stopped eating.
"Hey Ton. Come on, have a seat," Nick smiled at me.
"Thanks," I replied.
Kevin took a seat next to him and in front of Brian. Just as I started to sit, Brian got up.
"I think I'm full already, guys. I wanna go for some fresh air." Brian said as he gave me unpleasant look. Then he left.
I really felt uncomfortable about this, I looked at the other guys then Kevin. Kevin could read my face easily.
"Don't worry about him. He's just in a mood lately," Kevin gave me a plate and put some food on it.
After dinner, we were all sitting in the living room watching Nick and AJ play some games. Howie, Kevin and I were talking about what had been happening lately with them. They tried to stay away from the subject of me. Around 9, Kevin noticed that I looked sleepy.
"Ok, you looked tired. You have to go to bed," Kevin said. Nick turned off the game and joined us.
"Where will you sleep anyway?" I asked Kevin.
"Don't worry about me. You sleep on my bed," Kevin ordered.
"No I can't do that. This is your house, and you've done a lot of things for me today. I can sleep on this sofa," I said.
"No, you can't. You sleep on my bed, and I sleep on the sofa," Kevin argued back.
"Naah. I don't want to. I used to sleep on the sofa," I insisted.
"No, you listen to me. You can't sleep on the sofa," Kevin replied back.
"STOP IT! Why don't you both sleep on the bed? It's a big bed anyway," Nick stopped us as we kept arguing about the bed. Kevin and I gave Nick a look. "Come on...what's a big deal? It's just sleeping. You close your eyes and wake up the next morning. You won't have sex, will you?" Nick teased us.
"NICK!" Kevin and I yelled at the same time.
"Whoa! Just kidding," Nick laughed, followed by Howie and AJ.
"What do you say, Ton?" Kevin asked me
"Well it's your house, but don't try anything funny with me, ok?" I warned him.
"Like what?" Kevin teased me.
"You know what I meant." I shot back.
"Okay...Okay...It's a deal. Come on," we both stood up and went to Kevin's room. Then we heard Nick whistling and the others giggling.
"I better sleep on the floor," I said as I heard Nick whistling at us.
"Nick!" Kevin yelled as he looked seriously at Nick.
"Sorry," Nick said then covered his mouth.
As we entered his room, Kevin started to take off his T-shirt and pants.
"Wait! What are you doing?" I asked him.
"I take off my clothes to sleep" he replied confused. "Aren't you going to do the same thing?" Kevin asked me back.
"No, I'm fully dressed when I'm sleeping," I smiled.
"Damn it! I missed that chance again," Kevin jokingly and I rolled my eyes. "So can I take off my clothes? It's hot tonight."
"Okay, but please not fully naked, would you?" I turned my head away from him so I didn't see him.
"Are you sure? I don't mind at all,"
"Kevin!"
"Okay Okay I'll leave my boxers on" Kevin said as he took one side of the bed. I took the other side and put some distance between us. I didn't want to get closer to him. I turned on my side away from Kevin, but he turned on his side to face me.
"Can I hug you?" Kevin asked softly.
"Kev! Don't do anything funny, Ok?" I replied without facing him.
"Hmmmmm," Kevin mumbled like a child.
"Nice try! It doesn't work," I giggled.
"Damn!" Kevin giggled.
The next morning, I felt the warmth of someone hugging me. When I opened my eyes, it was Kevin, still asleep with his arm around me. Then the door opened as Brian barged in.
"KEVIN!" Brian shouted, surprised at seeing his cousin sleeping with me in the same bed.
As I heard someone shout, I pushed Kevin away from me. Somehow I got a flash back about what happened with me yesterday in Justin's house. Brian's shout was very loud. Even Nick, AJ, and Howie were running to Kevin's room to check what was going on. Kevin awoke in a second as I pushed him hard.
"YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?" Brian said angrily as he gave me hate-filled looks.
TBC...
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