Author notes: Finally chapter 14 hey! Okay here another 'Oscar' speech. Thanks to Yuli [got the solution yet? :)]; James [that was so sweet hahahaha]; Keith [Please don't mad :)]; Gene [Guys check his new story: All Grown Up]; Nate [what's up yo]; Angel [of course, how can I forget this name]; Alain [have you decided your prize yet? Hahahaha]; Matt [finally I know your last name hahahaha]; and someone who want to be discreet [I respect that :)]. Plus everyone who still keep reading this story but too shy to send feedback to me [sigh]. Oh Yeah special Thanks to David - Nifty Archivist Send your feeback/comment to Tonny : aspire34@go.com
Disclaimer This story is involving homosexuality. Do not continue if this will offend you. If accessing this story causes you to break local laws, please leave now. By continuing, you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to sexually explicit material. The content and opinions expressed in this story do not imply anything with regards to the sexual preference of any member of any celebrities named herein. It is a work of fiction entirely. The author takes no responsibility for anyone's actions based upon this work of fiction.
********************************************************************* WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL *********************************************************************
Previously on 'When you say nothing at all':
Everything was working on schedule. We were very pleased to meet Jennifer Lopez. She was very nice. On the show, we also dared her to play our game 'MTV LAND CHALLENGE'. She had to pick from three envelopes. She picked one, which requested that she do an impersonation of her favorite artist. She did Tina Turner, and it was hilarious.
The rest of the day, we did quick sightseeing of NYC. We even visited SOHO; the place was fabulous. But around 5, Alex decided to go back to the hotel, and I had another plan. It was my long time dream to visit the Empire State Building if I ever got to NY. Why? It reminded me of 'Sleepless in Seattle'. I don't know why that movie really sank deep inside my brain. I went to the top of the building seeing a beautiful scene of New York City in the evening. I really enjoyed the view until the sun was gone. But I was interrupted by someone calling my name...
"Tony," someone called me, and I turned around.
CHAPTER 14: MY DEJA VU
"Justin!" I was so surprised, "What are you doing here?"
"I want to see you," he looked down as I saw his teary eyes.
"Why?" I was confused.
"Please, you can't just leave me like this," he looked back to me and, finally, the tears fell. I came to him and took him in my arms, hugging him.
"Shhh. I told you already that I'm not mad at you. But I do need to take some time off from you," I explained.
"Is it finished now?" he asked worriedly.
"What?" I broke our hug. "What are you talking about?"
"Is it over now?" he sobbed.
"What? You really want it to be over?" I asked, surprised.
"No, that's not what I meant..."
"I don't want it over, either! Please I love you," I hugged him back.
"I love you too. I'm so sorry," he hugged me even tighter.
"Yeah I know," I said, as I wiped his tears.
"Did you come by yourself?" I asked him, and he nodded. I gave him a concerned look.
"But I'm going back tomorrow. Don't worry," he said, and I just smiled.
"How did you know that I'd be here?"
"It's your favorite movie, Ton. I know that," he smiled, and I laughed.
"It's 'Sleepless in Orlando' right?" I joked, and he laughed.
I decided to take him to his hotel. He was staying at the New York Renaissance hotel. Actually, he wanted to move to my hotel, but I told him that I would stay with him for the night. I called Alex to let him know about this. Justin was very happy. Finally, we could be together again. His room was nice, especially the view. We both just sat in his bed and looked at each other.
Suddenly, a strange feeling began to come over me. Then, I kissed Justin passionately, and he responded to my kiss. I moved to his neck. I could hear his moaning as I sucked his neck lightly.
As I kept kissing him, I unbuttoned his shirt. I took mine off, too while Justin tried to unbuckle my pants. Suddenly, I realized what was about to happen, and I pushed him up in order to stop us from going further.
"Justin, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I covered my mouth. I felt ashamed and cried.
"Ton, calm down, calm down, please," Justin tried to calm me down.
"You hate me now, right?" I sobbed.
"No, that's cool. We're just not ready yet. Shhh, that's Ok. I don't hate you! Come on, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he said, and I nodded. "Let's go to sleep. Shhh, stop crying, Ton," Justin kissed me, then hugged me. I don't know what happened next. All I do know is that I slept next to him while he hugged me tightly.
NEW YORK 08:00 23/05/1999
I woke up the next morning with Justin still asleep next to me. Actually, I wanted to stay in bed with him a little bit longer. But, I had a plane to catch to Singapore at 12, and I hadn't packed anything yet. So, I decided to wake him up.
"Justin!" I whispered softly in his ear softly. Then I kissed him.
"Mmm," Justin mumbled out.
"I've gotta go," I said. Just as I went to leave the bed, Justin grabbed my waist. "Justinnnn!" I felt amused. Then he dragged me back close to him and kissed me on the lips.
"That's what I call a morning kiss," he smiled.
"Yeah that was great if it comes without your morning breath," I teased him.
"You're gonna pay for that," Justin kissed me all over my face repeatedly. After 5 minutes, I pushed him off of me.
"Justin, I'm late," I smiled.
"Do you have to go now?" He gave me his puppy look again.
"Justin, we discussed this before," I reminded him. "What time is your flight anyway?" I asked him.
"11:30," he replied sadly.
"Perfect! So we can share the cab. Come on, you take a shower, and I'll take care of your stuff," I said as I pushed him to the bathroom.
While he was in the bathroom, I packed his stuff and picked out his clothes for that day. After he was done, I quickly walked to the bathroom, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I decided to take a shower at my Hotel. At 9, we both checked out from the Renaissance Hotel and took a cab to the Paramount Hotel. Luckily, Alex was ready and waiting for me. I had a quick shower, and we finally made it to check out at 10.
JOHN F. KENNEDY AIRPORT-NY 11:00 23/05/1999
I asked Alex to check in for our flight while I went with Justin for some private time. It was really weird. Usually when we came to the airport, Justin was the one who left me, but now, I was the one who was going to leave him.
"I hate the airport," Justin pouted.
"Me too, and it's weird. Now I'm the one who's leaving." I joked.
"Yeah, can't you just stay a bit longer?" Justin requested.
"Justin, I have to bring the tape back as soon as possible. We should play it before June," I made an excuse. "Hey, you better board now. The plane won't wait for ya," I mocked him.
"Ok" Justin kissed me, and I kissed him back. "Please take care of yourself and call me OK?" he said, and I nodded.
"Please relay my thanks to the guys and your mom. Oh I miss your brother Jonathan already. Please take care of your little bro, Ok?" I smiled.
"Sure, do you miss me too?" he asked shyly.
"Naah," I teased him.
"What?" He was surprised.
"You're always in my heart," I said as I put his hand on my chest. "I've never missed you, I have you in here," I put his hand on my head.
"Thank you," he hugged me as he started to cry.
"Aaaah, no more tears in here. We'll meet again, right?" I asked for his assurance.
"Ok, Ok," he cleared his eyes.
"Now go! Go! You'll make the whole flight get delayed," I joked as I pushed him toward the gate.
I saw him enter the gate. I rushed my way back to the international terminal, where Alex was waiting for me so we could go through the immigration stuff. Our flight was delayed for 30 minutes.
MTV STUDIO-SINGAPORE 07:00 24/05/1999
"So how was your trip?" Michael asked me as he interrupted my work.
"Not too bad. We got the tape. Alex is editing it, and we can play it by tomorrow, I guess," I replied.
"Good," Michael smiled. "Ok, you'd better ready for 'Most Wanted'," he reminded me as he left my desk.
Linda rushing in to my desk interrupted me again less than 5 minutes later.
"Hey! Did you get it? Did you get it?" she asked me full of hope.
"Yeah, here," I gave her the BSB's group photo with their signatures on it.
"Yes! Thank you...Thank you!!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down like an idiot.
"So tell me, what happened?"
"Well we did the taping and then we had dinner together, that's it," I replied.
"NO WAY!" she slapped my shoulder, "get out of here! You are joking right? You had dinner with them?"
"Well you can ask Alex, if you don't trust me," I grinned.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! You did have dinner with them? So how was Kevin?" she asked me. Linda has a crush on Kevin. I was stunned by her question.
"Kevin?" I looked puzzled.
"Yeah Kevin. How was he? Was he cool?" she asked.
"Kevin...is Kevin" I replied simply.
"Geez you're hopeless," she said as she left me. "Oh yeah," Linda returned, "You have mail on your desk. It's from Lee Missen," she grinned and left.
'Lee Missen?' I asked myself as I opened my drawer. I read his letter, 'O that Lee from Code Red' I realized.
MTV STUDIO-SINGAPORE 12:30 25/06/1999
It had been a month since I returned from FL and NY. Work was just getting more and more busy. 'I want it that way' was like a flavor of the month, which was understandable as it WAS BSB's month on MTV. I heard that song everyday. BSB, Ricky Martin and the Moffatts were a must on the video play list everyday. MTV played our taping of 'MTV ASK with Backstreet Boys', '1-Hour Non Stop Hits with BSB', 'MTV FANatic with BSB', 'BSB in concert', and the list goes on.
Today, we had a special guest. It was another boy band (of course), WestLife. Another boy band from Ireland. They were doing promotional tours around South East Asia, and now they were stopping by at MTV Studio. They were still new, so they didn't have an album yet, but they had an EP titled 'Swear It Again'. The song was pretty good. They got a lot of the attention from their fans here since, well, they are all young, single, and, of course, good looking [another strategy when forming a Boy Band]. Oh yeah, their names were Shane [lead singer], Mark, Nicky, Bryan, and Kian [the cutest one, from my point of view of course]. I was watching their new clip, 'If I Let You Go', which hadn't been released yet.
"Hi Ton, what are you doing?" Shane asked as they all came into my editing room.
"Oh, hey guys. Just watching your new clip. Have a seat," I looked back to my screen as I rewound the video.
"Really?" Mark remarked.
"Yeah, it's still fresh," I joked.
"What are you doing with it?" Bryan questioned.
"Well I just have to look at it to see if it needs to be edited or not" I replied, looking at him.
"Edited?" Nicky looked confused.
"Yeah, ya know, as one of the regulations for MTV Asia, sometimes we need to edit some videos. Ya know like in 'Livin La Vida Loca', Ricky Martin's video, we had to cut or blur the naked lady. We did the same thing with 'Thank You', Alanis's video. We have very strict regulations in Asia," I replied with a laugh.
"Oh, I see," Kian remarked, "but believe me, you don't need to edit our video. We were not naked for it," he joked and we all laughed.
"I don't think our ladies viewers would mind with that," I replied with a laugh as I looked to his cute face. "Ok be quiet! I have to see this one last time," I said as I pressed the play button.
Day after day, time pass away N' I just can't get you off my mind Nobody knows, I hide it inside I keep on searching, but I can't find... The courage to show, to letting you know I've never felt so much love before And once again, I'm thinking about Taking the easy way out
Chorus: But if I let you go, I will never know What my life would be, holding you close to me Will I ever see, you smiling back at me? Oh yeah How will I know...? If I let you go
Night after nigh, I hear myself say Why can't this feeling just fade away There's no-one like you, you speak to my heart It's such a shame, we're worlds apart I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose But sooner or later, I got to choose And once again, I'm thinking about Taking the easy way out
Chorus
If I let you go Ooh baby Once again I'm thinking about Taking the easy way out
Chorus
But if I let you go, I will never know Oh baby Will I ever see, you smiling back at me? Oh yeah How will I know...? If I let you go
As the song ended, I started to cry. This song just reminded me of my relationship with Justin. And I really missed him now.
"Tony! Tony! Are you Ok?" Kian asked me as he waved his hand in front of me to get my attention.
"Yeah, yeah. The song is so beautiful, even better than your first one," I said as I wiped my tears. The guys just looked at me suspiciously.
"Really?" Shane proudly asked.
"Yeah. I love it. And Bryan, your voice is superb in that song," I said as I took the video from the player.
"Thank you," Bryan said, blushing.
"What about me?" Kian asked me with his cute expression, 'Justin, where are you?' I asked myself when I saw that face.
"You were great in that video, too. All of you were great," I said as I stood up from my chair.
"Come on guys! Let's go out of here," I asked the guys as I helped Kian stand up. He replied with a smile. His smile made me...'JUSTIN! HELP ME!' I screamed inside.
When I left the editing room with the guys, Linda ran to me. She wanted to tell me something, but she couldn't let it out as she looked over all of the guys from Westlife beside me.
"Ton...hmmm...uuuuuuu...hhhaavv..." Linda tried to say something.
"Calm down. What?" I said as I shook her body lightly.
"You...You...in...in..."
Now her stupidity was annoying me, it was even easier to talk with deaf people. The guys just giggled looking at Linda. They kept smiling at her, which was not helping at all in this situation. Then four figures were walking toward us.
"TONY!" Lee called me.
"Hi guys!" I replied 'Oh great it's Code Red. That what I need, another Boy Band' I said sarcastically to myself.
"Them!" Linda spoke up with her goofy look. I just shook my head at her.
"How are you all guys?" I asked them.
"Fine!" Neil smiled.
"We just returned from the Philippines" Phil said.
"We're going back to England tomorrow from here," Roger added.
"So we decided to stop by here," Lee continued.
"Great! You're all always welcome at MTV," I gave them my fake smiled. "Oh, yeah, this is Westlife, guys. And this is Code Red," I looked at the Westlife gang.
"We KNOW!" the 9 of them spoke at the same time.
"Okay," I laughed, "Let's go to my office guys," I walked to my room as some of them chitchatted behind me and kept following me.
"Tony, you have..." Alex spoke up and tried to stop me as I opened my door.
"SURPRISE!" Five people jumped up in front of me, and I jumped back a little.
"The Backstreet Boys in your office," Alex finished his sentence.
'Great! Another one. Is April Fool's early this year?' I said to myself.
"HA HA HA, what are you all doing here?" I asked them as they kept giggling.
"Hey come on! We wanted to visit you here. We all missed you," Nick said as he hugged me.
"Don't you have a concert or something?" I asked back as I felt panic came to me.
"We just finished our European tour. So we needed a break," Brian replied.
"So...we decided to surprise you here," Howie added.
"And it worked! Ha ha ha," AJ laughed.
"How are you?" Kevin asked me, staring as usual.
"Good! Good! Well, I may have had a heart attack just now!" I smiled and they all giggled. Then Nick gave looked at the guys behind me, who had kept quiet for a while.
"Oh yeah, here you go, another introduction again. Guys, this is Westlife. This is Shane, Bryan, Kian, Nicky, and..." I tried to remember the last one, "What's your name again?" I asked shyly as I bit my nail.
"It's Mark," he pouted, and the others started giggling.
"Yeah Mark...Mark...Sorry Mark," I said as I put my hand on his shoulder and he nodded. "And this gang over here is Code Red. This is Lee, Neil, Phil and Roger," I said slowly so I could remember their names. "Guys," I looked at Westlife and Code Red groups, "This is..."
"THE BACKSTREET BOYS!" the 9 of them, again, said in unison.
"Geez, we're not living on a different planet, Ton," Kian mocked me as all of them laughed at me. I felt really embarrassed. They all shook hands with each other.
"Tonyyyyyy!" Linda screamed as she ran toward my office, not realizing that I had more guests in my small office. "You have..." she kept running until she knocked into Kevin's body and fell down. Kevin helped her stand up. "You have...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," she fainted as she saw Kevin holding her. Luckily, Kevin grabbed her quickly before she hit the ground.
"Linda! Linda! Wake Up!" I slapped her face lightly.
"Is she OK?" Kevin asked me.
"She adores you, Kev," I replied as I slapped her face repeatedly to wake her up. "ALEXXXXXXXXXXXX!" I screamed loudly. Alex came in and realized my room was crowded.
"Can you help me with Linda please?" I asked him.
"Sure!" Alex took Linda from Kevin. "Hey you have another one."
"What?" I started getting annoyed at the situation.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" the Nsync gang surprised me.
"Them!" Alex continued as he left the room with Linda, who was still unconscious.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Justin pointed at the BSB gang.
"And what are you doing here, too?" Nick replied with the same question.
"We're on holiday," Brian added.
"So are we!" Chris said, excited.
"And who are they?" Joey pointed to the other guys [Westlife and Code Red]. They all introduced themselves instead of me doing it for them.
Meanwhile, I just kept silent, I really couldn't believe this was happening in one day. There were 19 boys around me, and they all kept talking. Twenty people were all in my small office.
"Well we came here to do our promo," Kian said.
"We just returned from the Philippines. We're heading back to London tomorrow so we're just stopping by here" Lee excused with his British accent.
"Great! Nice to meet all of you guys!" JC remarked happily.
"Why didn't you tell us?" AJ asked the Nsync gang.
"Well it's a surprise for him," Justin pointed at me, as I was looking around very confused.
"Ha ha ha! Yeah surely he got a hell of a surprise from us," Nick laughed then, followed by the others.
They were all talking and talking like they were at a school reunion or something, and didn't notice my presence in the middle. I was looking around, seeing all of these faces. I couldn't even remember their names anymore. I thought for a minute that this was just a dream, so I slapped my face. It hurt. 'This isn't a dream' I said to myself.
"Tony, what's wrong?" Justin looked at me. I was confused looking at his strange face. Suddenly 38 eyeballs looked directly at me.
"What is this? A Boy Bands convention or something?" I asked them, and they all looked at each other, puzzled. Then they all started talking again, giving excuses about why they were here. They all talked at the same time. It was so noisy.
"OK! That's it! EVERYBODY OUT!" I yelled loud, "I need some time off. I need a break. I couldn't even remember all of you anymore. Go to the guestroom. I need to lay down for couple of minutes," I ordered.
Then I heard "But...but...but" from all of them as they all reluctantly got out of my room. I pushed them all, one by one.
"OUT!" I pushed one of them, "Who are you again?"
"Nick!" Nick said as I pushed him outside.
"Talk to you later, Nick" I pushed him.
"Ok NOW! OUT! OUT! OUT!" I pushed everybody, The last one to head out was Justin. Then I realized it was my Justin. "Not you," I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to my room and closed the door. Then I kissed him a long and passionate kiss.
After 5 minutes, Justin asked, concerned, "Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I just didn't expect this to happen to me. All of You. 19 people in the same room at the same time. All of you...and you were all talking and talking and..." I explained as my blood pressure rose.
"Easy...easy baby" Justin calmed me down. "Do you want me to leave?"
"What are you, nuts? I missed you so much," I kissed him back.
"Me too!" Justin replied, and I sighed.
"How are you feeling now?" Justin asked me.
"Much better," I replied.
"Do you want to meet all of your friends now?" Justin looked at me.
"Can we just stay here for awhile? Just let them talk until all of them tire out, then I'll meet them," I replied.
"Sounds like a good plan to me," Justin giggled as he sat down on a chair, and I sat on his lap.
"Why didn't you call me first, Justin?"
"Well you know that we always like surprises," Justin said, as he played with my hair.
"Yeah, but see what happened today? I couldn't handle all of you."
"ummm" Justin mumbled out.
"ummm what?" I asked.
"Your hair."
"Oh yeah, I just got a haircut. Do you like it?" I asked his opinion.
"Well it's even shorter," he played with my hair again.
"Oh No! I asked them to cut it a little bit LONGER," I mocked him, and he laughed.
So we chatted for 15 minutes or so, tried to catch up on what had been happening with us for the past month. Then we decided to get out to meet my guests for the day.
Even 10 meters from the guestroom, I could hear their voices already. When Justin and I stepped in, they all suddenly stopped talking.
"SIT!" I ordered all of them as they tried to get up [was I a good host or what?], and they went back to sit on their couch.
"What have you two been doing?" Kian asked Justin and I.
"We were...we were...," Justin looked at me for answer.
"We were looking for his contact lenses in my office," I lied.
"Contact lenses?" Justin couldn't play along, so I pinched his back.
"AAAAyeah, I lost my contact lenses. It took a while." he lied too, although the BSB and Nsync gangs knew the real situation.
I asked Justin to sit with their gang. I saw all of them sitting with puzzled looks on their faces.
"SO...Where were we again?" I asked them, and they all answered at the same time with different version.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" I screamed. "One by one, gentlemen," I smiled.
"Well this is all a total surprise for me. Too bad today isn't my birthday. And my schedule for today is for Westlife," I looked the Westlife gang, and they all smiled, full of victory. "And your management called to say that you all have to go back to your hotel for the meeting," their faces changed from happy to goofy.
"Well, you're right, we've been here for 3 hours already. We should leave guys," Shane told their members, and they all stood up.
"Ok, Ton, it was nice to meet you," Nicky shook my hand.
"Not a problem, thanks for coming," I smiled, "Hope to see you all soon. You too, Mark," I said his name sternly to show I could remember it correctly, and he smiled
I shook the other member hands and the rest of the gangs' [BSB, Nsync, and Code Red].
"I think we should go too, guys," Roger stood up.
"Why?" Lee looked at him.
"Come on, we are all tired, Lee. We just arrived," Roger replied, and finally Lee agreed.
"Ok, guys, thanks for coming in on short notice," I joked to them and they all giggled. I shook all of their hands now.
When I came to Lee I whispered, "I received your letter mate. Thanks." He just nodded shyly. Out of nowhere, Kian hugged me goodbye.
"Wow, Kian. Big boy, what's up?" I hugged him.
"We'll miss you, Ton" he said as he broke the hug.
"Don't worry, we'll meet again, right?" I cheered him up. Yet again, he gave me his best smile.
"You bet!" he said, excited, and I just laughed at his remark.
Finally all of them left the room, and I took them to elevator. 'Ok 9 gone, now 10 left' I smiled then I went back to the guestroom. I didn't know why but all of them, except Justin, were giving me hating looks.
WBC
Hahaha WBC...let's see who will laugh this time :) Hmmm why did they all hate Tony now? I wonder why...[thinking] [still thinking] Please I need your feedback...bad or good always welcome : aspire34@go.com THANKS FOR READING! HAVE A NICE DAY!