When Hearts Collide

1. Calm before the storm

Disclaimer

This story contains storylines with a sexual tendency between high school teenage boys, if this is illegal to read where you live or if you're not mature to read such content then please hit the back button and don't read on! This story has some elements of reality mixed with fiction made up and the setting is all fiction even the names for your enjoyment.

There's going to be transitions from reading a diary to flashbacks hope it won't confuse you much. I want to thank the people that have emailed and commented you all have given me so much support and as I said I'll try to upload new chapter asap

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Recap chapter 2

.."How the fuck did you get that." Nicolai said as he grabbed the diary away from me, and that rushed me back into the room. I stood up, feeling the weight and all the guilt of what I had had done dawn on me. "I'm sorry, Nick. Please," I implored as I handed him the diary, walking towards the cafeteria. I sat in one of the booths remembering exactly why Nicolai and I got so distant.

`I had gotten detention because I was seating with the infamous corner when some smart ass uttered a boo at Ms Thompson in math, she being the uptight teacher she is, everyone on the corner was slapped with detention during lunch. I went there early seeing as I had nothing to do and when I mean early it was a quarter past the actual detention time. I walked in the room and to my surprise; I got in to find Tristan in the room singing Stay by Hurts. He continued signing as he had not noticed me enter and was deep in his song. He looked cute and had a really awesome voice I must say. When I banged my books on the table that's when he realised he had company. "I knew it may sound like I'm off key but I swear that's how." he said probably registering the hug ass grin on my face. I cut him off saying ".Hurts sing like." He was shocked and he clearly grasped. I don't know if it was from the fact that I knew the song or that he had been caught sing. I gawked at him "yea you really can't hum to Hurts". He said as he started packing his books. "Yea once you start, it's like you're obligated to sing along. Um . I'm Troy and you're ." "Yea Alice in wonderland" he cut me and I saw the sadness in his eyes. "I know how you people like to taunt me" he whispered and gathered his books, I think he wanted to make a quick exist. I think it's because of the cold should I had given him at the tennis court the other day. "Actually I wanted to say you're in my Chemistry, Math and English classes." I said as he picked he bag and took his laptop. "When he realised what I had said, his face light up then he blushed furiously. "I'm sorry" he said "I'm an idiot, but why are you here" he asked trying to divert the attention from himself. "Actually I'm here for detention and I came early" "You came early, but it's like a quarter past already." He said looking at the face clock on top of the board. "Oh um its yea it's not like I would want to miss a minute of detention." I said sarcastically. "Well goodluc."

".Hey Nick." "Hey babe" we both heard from outside the class. He stopped talking to look at Nick "I heard a good time with these two this weekend at the beach house." He said pointing at Vanessa's big boobs. "Urg" he groaned out loud I bet he thought it was silent. When he realised the groan sound wasn't silent he said "I. I didn't mean to. sorry it just slipped." He was really cute when he stuttered. "Oh wow, that's new, not usually the reaction he gets." I said as he looked like a dear caught in head lights. He knew that I knew his secret. "It's usually a cheer or cool, awesome he's the man, got game." I said trying to ease the panic I had noticed cross his face. I could see he was clearly relived. "Well jerk isn't my type." He said and blushed after he knew exactly that he had subtly outed himself to me. "Yea he does have his jerk moments, and they're a lot to say the least." I said to him laughing out loud. "I thought you guys were like bro's through thick and thin." "You're close. He's my cousin.". he didn't say anything and I added "Yea I'm the other Alexander from Hillside. His cool and amazing." "I think you're awesome" he said and winked at me before leaving the classroom. He was pushed by some of the jocks as they entered the room and Vanessa had a huge smile when she saw I was in the class. She came and sat next to me. Nicolai was distant. I think it was because he realised I had been in the class with Tristan alone. I could tell his mind was a million miles away.

After detention during lunch I went to my chemistry class and I saw Tristan on a table alone. I walked right up to him and said "Hey" He was just about to start the practical we were doing today. "Hey, how was detention?" He asked casually as if we had been friends for a while. "Uh it was exciting" I said ironically "Ah, can I be your lab partner." He looked up to me I thinking he thought I was kidding and then I added "I haven't gotten one allocated yet so." "Well you can start by measuring 40mils into that graduated cylinder." He said taking charge. He walked around and watched me pour the solution "Hold it there, slow it down alright." He chuckled. "I don't even know the experiment we're doing but I think you know what we're doing so I'm just going to follow your lead." I said "Get down on eye level and wait till the meniscus is at this line." He said as he pointed to the line. "Start pouring slowly" he cautioned. He touched the cylinder when he said "Stop right there." And his hand brushed mine. I felt the rush from his sudden touch and I quickly jerked away from his touch. Spilling the solution on my jeans "Urg. Oh God" I screamed "Shit I spilled it what do I do" I was fake freaking out "Sodium chloride suspension" he replied calmly. "Oh gosh I have to get. ow its burning shit shit shit" I said dancing and rubbing my crotch area. "Oh really" he chuckled looking at my failed attempt to freak him out "Uh sodium chloride is salt water" he said looking at me in disbelief with a straight face. "Oh well I didn't burn myself, it kinda looks like I peed myself tho, yea it helps to know you don't care. I almost lost my crowned jewels." I said trying to fake frown but lost to laughing in the end.

I looked at his shocked expression and I dipped my fingers into the solution and flicked some to his face. "You're silly" he said flicking some to my face. We then began a flicking competition then we suddenly heard the teacher yell "Hey we're in a lab not on the jungle bars where you can monkey around." furiously. "Cool it" he said lifting his hands. "Geez Tristan yea cool it" I said, but all of a sudden Tristan was quiet and looked scared I followed his gaze to see that our little exchange had caught a little attention. By little I mean the whole lab. Luckily the siren broke the stares. Before he ran out of the class like he always did, I told him. "See you around." He tried to smile and said "Don't take this the wrong way but you'd be better off not looking for me." And with that he left me astonished. I packed the instruments and found Vanessa waiting on me. "You know our deal right. Make sure you deliver or I'm dragging you through the mud honey." She said and laughed as she touched my chest. "What a shame it would be to expose such a fine specimen of a man". She added stroking my chest. Nicolai stood and he saw what was going on but he walked to me and pushed me "What the fuck is your problem." "Well I'm not the one who walked here and started pushing me." I countered. I knew I had to make Nick jealousy and I realised that it was going to be easy. The guy really had a lot of anger issues and it didn't take much to irk him up. "Hell yea I have a prob, you'll all up my girl and I don't like it." He said his nose flaring. His breathing was now laboured and I took a cautionary step back. "Are you sure that's all that's pissing you off" I said with an evil grin on my face. "If you don't watch your back cousin" he said with emphasis on the `cousin' and banged his fist on the operating table. The apparatus there visibly rattled some. "We're going to have a really big problem." He said as he stepped close to me. He sized me up and at this moment it's safe to say I was scared out of my wits. I might have been the same built with Nicolai but I was more of a um . um what can I say passive person and playing tennis didn't help any whereas dear cousin played hockey and I believe it's one of the aggressive sports out there. "Vanessa was purring at the moment I bet with an evil gleeful smile. "Now . now. babes. I like that you're all hot n bothered about Troy but we were just having a ." "Let's go." He said as he pulled her out of the class and walked away without a second glance at me. As he reached the door, I saw Tristan had been still in the lab. He was pale and I could tell he was also scared shitless. I sighed with relief at the potential deadly situation. That was waiting to explode in all our faces.

"I was feeling depressed and I had to just get out of the hospital." I knew I had been a really bad cousin and most of all; I had been a bad friend. I knew that Nicolai was somehow in love with Tristan and I perceptively planted some doubt in both of them. But it wasn't entirely my fault as Vanessa had blackmailed me to and I couldn't let anyone find out what happened in Hillside and the main reason why the family had to move back home to let the dust settle down a bit. Nicolai had followed me to the cafeteria and he slumped down next to me. There was a minute of silence but it seemed like hours. I dared not say anything. Nicolai was looking at the diary and finally he was about to say something when Ms Williams, Tristan's mum came out to meet us. She was looking as if she had not slept for days. Her eyes had bags under them and they were bloodshot. I saw Nicolai stand and he hugged her. It's then that I really knew that, he did love Tristan in his own way. After the hug she looked at me and back to Nicolai. "Tristan has been out of surgery and he's been moved to a ward. I think you boys can go home now." She said "Can I see him." Nicolai whispered. ". its fine I'm not going anywhere." He added. "Yes we'll wait here." I said as I recovered my voice then. Nicolai looked at me and I sang into the chair. "I think you can see him but his still in a comma and there little much you can do. I'm waiting for." "Excuse me ma'am." a nurse said. "He's now ready but I think you only should come." Ms Williams looked at us and looked to the nurse. "It's fine, they can come too if they want to." With that the nurse led us to his room. I then thought I couldn't be able handle myself so I just ended up going home. I knew my time there was not going to help and I doubt Tristan would want me here. I watched as Nicolai and Ms Williams go into the room.

Nicolai's pov

My heart dropped down to my stomach. I walked into the room and there he was. He was hooked to a lot of machines and there was a lot of beeping sounds. I nearly started to cry. Just over six hours ago, we were talking and we could have been boyfriends. If it weren't for Jarred, then the guy I love wouldn't be lying probably in pain or worse still, struggling to survive. I then noticed I was still standing right at the door but the doctor had asked me if I was coming in or not. I didn't think I want to go any closer. I sat at the chair on the edge of the bed. I clasped the Diary that was in my hand and tried to concentrate on what the doctor was saying. Sadly I couldn't. Everything was hazy and I just lost it. The doctor then left and the next thing I saw Ms Williams coming back to hug me. "He'll pull through. I know he will." She said. I don't know if she was trying to convince me or herself. I looked to see if troy had followed in the room as well. I looked back at Tristan's mum as she then sat next to me. If she knew how bad I had treated her son would she allow me in this room? Or even seat next to me. The sounds that where now dominating against other sounds in the room where the soft beat of the heart monitor machine and Tristan's heavy breathing. "It is not your faulty honey" she said. I then lost it then. I had desperately wanted to hear someone say that. I sighed and looked at the diary and I opened it to start reading. I felt that's the only thing I could do at the moment.

`. I felt like I was breaking down. I really was out of place and somehow I just didn't belong here. I know my mum and I are close, but will she understands me. What if I run away? I thought but I ended up laughing at how dumb that was. So here I was, locked up in my room with the radio on, turned up so loud that no one could hear me screaming. Nothing feels alright. I bet Nicolai doesn't know what it's like, to be like me.

I feel hurt, lost and left out in the dark, literally as I had closed my curtains shut. Not wanting any light in, though it would help me wallow in my misery and darkness at the moment seem like the best companion. Maybe I felt ashamed at how I emotional I was. I knew my mum was out there somewhere getting ready to go to work. I had just come in from the most disastrous weekend I had had in my whole 15 years of existence. I think Vanessa would have been so happy to know how bad I feel. She would love it. I am down but she wouldn't care she would just push me around some more even if I was on the edge of breaking down already. No one cares to save me; no they don't know what it's like to be gay and in love with a straight guy in an upstate homophobic suburb.

I want to be somebody else. Hell I am sick of feeling so left out and I'm desperate to find something more before my life is over. I feel sick of everyone around me . Tristan' I thought I had but ignored, I continued with my deep stream of thought . with the big fake smiles and stupid lies cause deep inside I'm bleeding "Tristan" this time it was loud and I knew it was my mum "What!" I screamed back annoyed she had disturbed my misery. "Turn that music down!" she yelled back. "What'd you say?" I asked but I had heard her. "I said turn that music down." She was now outside my room. "Please call Phil and say I'm going to be late." "Mum why can't you do it yourself?" "Because I'm about to shower and I'm already behind time." I don't see how this concerns me I mumbled more to myself. "What did you say" I heard my mum ask. I must have heard a mini heart attack. I swear my mum must have some super hearing power Geez! I thought as I left my room and went into the corridor. She was out there glaring at me. "Look I don't know where this little nasty attitude of yours is springing from but you better have it adjusted." "Mum why does something have to be bothering me. I can't find the phone." I said as I was now standing in the lounge. "Forget it." She said as she walked in and started to flip the covers looking for the portable receiver. "I know one thing for sure, something did happen this weekend and if you don't talk or change that tone of voice you might see another side of me you don't know" she said pointing at me with the receiver. She then dialled her work and left a message. I looked at her. "At the rate you're going honey, you're going to self-destruct." "So" I countered. Okay come to think of it I was a bit crude, she was trying hard but I wasn't feeling too . um . peoplish then and in my defence I'm not usually like this. "SO" she said in frustration. "Why are you being so testy?" "I'm not" "Then what's the problem. What happened?" "I said nothing" I shouted as I went into my room and slammed the door and locked it. She followed and knocked light. "Yes" I answered "Open the door please." She politely said. "I can hear you clearly." I said as I threw my self onto the bed. I felt all the frustration seeping back into my body. "Open this damn door." I knew then my mum was now at the edge. She never swore not unless she was really really upset. "Why, so you can continue to jump on my case." I said and I heard my voice breaking. She must have heard it too. "I didn't mean to Tan. I'm sorry but please honey. Talk to me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." She took a deep breath. That's when all hell broke loose, all the tears I had managed to keep in my eyes poured out I just kept quiet hoping she would leave me alone. I didn't want her to see me like this. It would break her heart and mother mode would kick in. "I'm late. I have to prepare. I think you need some time out. We'll chat when I come back later okay." She said and left. I then just felt so depressed and my head was throbbing. After a while I heard my mum leave and I immediately went into the bathroom. I open the draw and took some of my mum's pain killers and anti-depression tablets. Then I was in automatic pilot. My body had taken complete control and my will had all gone. I returned to my room and took a handful of the pills. I thought I would feel relief then but nothing happened. Then I thought why not double the dose. I'm not usually this crazy but hello I was on a complete breakdown so forgive me. However nothing happened and I just felt dizzy and I must have collapsed on my bed.

Rows of perspiration trickled down the nape of my neck and soaked my t-shirt. I felt light headed and tried to move, my whole body was paralysed. I tried to raise my hand but I couldn't. I looked at the capsule bottles of the pills I had taken and they were labelled Tricyclics the other was Prozac and the last was morp. something I lost my concentration and closed my eyes. When I reopened them everything I saw was hazy and greyish like I was seeing only black n white outlines. My throat was dry and I thought I should go drink some water. I stood up and staged toward the kitchen. I said to no one in particular. `I didn't plan on this. Never thought I would ." I then just collapsed on the floor as I felt like the floor beneath my ground had been pulled away. I remembered nothing only to wake up in a hospital wad with my stomach pumped, my mum had that bad feeling and came back home just in time to take me to the emergence room. Since I wasn't a very suicidal person I got off with counselling at school not at a major psycho facility and that's why I'm writing this bloody diary. However the damaged had been done and Vanessa and her groupies pounced on the story like vultures on dead meat. I am now the resident druggie at school. However I didn't forget the weekend before. I still can't believe how Nicolai can act as if nothing happened and every time we meet at school he tries to look all sad who the hell does he think he is.'

I closed the diary and could read no further. "Seriously who the hell was I" I thought

Who is Nicolai Neil Alexander II.? It is not exactly a trick question, but somehow. I can't answer that question. Of course I know the basic like date of birth, age, sex and the like but I don't know or think I didn't know who I was until he showed me just who I was. I had once been told by my grandma that, It is really impossible to grasp just how powerful love is. It can sustain us through trying times or motivate us to make extra ordinary sacrifices. It can force decent men to commit the darkest and most heinous deeds. Or even compel an ordinary woman to search for hidden truths. Long after we're gone. Love remains_ burned into our memories.

We all search for love. When some of us find it, we wish we hadn't. For some it can stay forever within them.' At the time I didn't understand what my granny was saying but after Tristan came into my life. I knew first-hand what it meant.

I looked at the page as I started to feel bad about how I had used Tristan for my own selfish needs. I looked at my hands and I watched them trebling. I had to get a grip of myself. I looked up to see Ms Williams asleep in her chair. I then remember that weekend. How could I even forget it?

`. The wind whispered against my face, the forest path opened up before us. The rustling of the leaves and trees, the smell of the grass and the warmth of the suns' rays against my face. The chirping of the birds, I remember everything about that weekend. I remember the house. I remember my feelings constantly shifting from anxiety, excitement to warmth and love. It was at Tristan's cabin just outside of Hillcrest. It was where I fell head over heels in love with him.

I just had just stormed out one of my famous arguments with my dad about me trying out for the Varsity team. Yes I know I'm good but I think for now I just want to enjoy being me. I walked out on him which was a first. I went straight to my room and took my stash of vodka and whiskey. I put it in my flask and went to the park. I sat there and drank my pain away. I thought I could just go to the club and have a meal before going somewhere else. To be honest that wasn't entirely why. I knew he'd be on duty since it was Friday. I was feeling a bit tipsy but I wasn't drunk yet. There was only one person that could make me feel better. Just looking at him would be okay.

"I'm obvious not as good as others so why do I try." I mumbled to myself. I was now seating at the county club in at the bar. Yes I'm sixteen and it's not that kind of a bar. I looked up and saw him. He walked up to me to take my order. "What's my purpose? I don't really measure up to the others." I asked as he looked at me confused. "What you're talking about" he asked clearly confused. Just like him to care about everyone's problems. "Well I keep trying to please everyone but me." I said with a deep indrawn sigh. "No one loves me so why should i." I said and I saw that he was nervous. "I'm not sure he said looking down." "Oh dear ... not you too." I said "Why do you hate me . Tristan" "Uh. um . um . I'm sorry do you want to order something." "You see that's exactly what I'm talking about, why you keep pushing me away?" he looked up at me then looked around the pub. There was a few people in. "I don't hate you Nic." "Ha you could have me fooled." I said looking down getting really depressed. "I like you Nic." He whispered. I looked at him not saying anything. But finally whispered "I also like you, like you". I had not admitted that to anyone before. I don't know why but maybe it was the alcohol that made me bold. I had noticed a sort of vibe from Tristan. We once had been the greatest of friends way back in time but we just drifted apart. Now he seems to hate me. "Well I don't believe in that bullshit about love." I said and took a sip from my flask. "You're here to be loved it doesn't matter who you love as long as it's mutual". "Tell that to my dad." I said feeling sad. I hiccupped then looked up to Tristan. "Nick what's your view of love". He asked seating down across me. "I don't know" I said looking at him. "You're here to love and cherish." "What is there to love?" I asked looking incredulously. "A bunch of things, small things all sorts of things everything." He said trying to convince me. "That's a really lame answer that's like nothing at all. Can't you give me something that paints a more specific hick' picture" I said with a hiccup in the middle. "You want something more specific he said licking his lips he was so tempting me with those plump lips. He stood up. "You're here to love" he said. "I'm not clear why should I love". I asked really confused. "You don't know why you love. So why do you defend your heart. If you don't love at all." He asked and I just looked up at him. Thinking that this boy is really weird. "Have you ever heard the Chinese belief on love and life" "Nope not really". I laughed out loud thinking who knows about the Chinese love view. Certainly not me'. I thought shaking my head. "In their belief there are two types of battles in this world. Battles to defend your love and battles for your pride that makes sense right, quite a clear separation right. In my opinion I don't believe that's accurate cause in the final analysis you end up defending the exact same thing". "And what would that be". I asked getting interested in his thoughts. "Your heart of course" he said. "Please . get real." I said rolling my eyes. "Nick let me ask you something from your experience where would your heart be and why?" He asked me and I made my funny face. I always have it when I'm thinking, I scratched my head and picked my chin then finally said "Well if I had to guess I think somewhere here" I said point to my somewhere on my chest. "Is it a trick question" I asked looking suspicious at him with a raised brow "Isn't that right" I urged when he didn't acknowledge my answer. "Uh if you want to be literal about it but in my opinion is it's more a state of mind. I believe it is right here" he said forming a fist to try and explain his feelings. "Right here. Not inside our bodies at all. I think a heart is created between people when they meet, a bond that's brought to life when individuals have an emotional connection. That's when a heart is formed and love blossoms. When you think about someone or care about someone that's forming love and th." I cut him ". en hearts collide ." he was stunned and I added ".and love forms". I looked at him in amazement trying to grasp what he was saying. We had been taught something like that by our Sensei in karate way in junior school. I was amazed he still remembered. I remember those where the exact words he said. "So there's nothing to worry about. If you love with all your heart and if you believe with all your heart. Then that's all the reason in the world you shouldn't love no matter the person". He said touching my heart. "You must never doubt that". I felt my heart beat increase. Like I had touched a live electric current. He continued talking. "If we entrust our heart to someone then that's love and it will continue to grow inside them. That's the most impotent thing for love. Hope, so don't you dare feel sad about people and what they think coz love's too pure to be defiled by people's bad attitudes."

That's when I fell in love with the boy again. I had been drunk but I believe his talk had sobered me and I was in awe of him and how deep he was. I felt the connection between us something I had tried to deny my whole life. I looked at him. He wasn't looking at me. "You love me". I said. He didn't answer and there was a pregnant pause. "I think I do. But I'm scared". I whispered. He touched my hand. It wasn't sexual I felt calm and accept for who I was and what I felt. I knew my dad wouldn't understand this. No demands or hidden agendas. It was pure. "Hey what you doing tomorrow I think we should hang". "Um . um I was thinking of going up to our cabin" he said hesitantly. "Cool can I come with". I said giving him my famous puppy eye plea knowing he wouldn't say no. "Ok" he said. I had never felt that excited in my life before. Cool he gave me the direction to his cabin and I left the club feeling alive that I had never felt before in my life. I had the biggest grin ever on my face.

He stood and was about to leave when I grabbed his hand. "Thank you" I said lighting up I knew he liked me. "Okay" he said "Are you sure about tomorrow what about Vanessa" he asked hesitantly. "Yes I don't mind and don't worry about her" I laughed as he walked away. "I looked at him and suddenly I just felt happy. I had forgotten about my dad and the fight, even Vanessa was far off. I stood and walked to the counter. Or more accurately staggered there. "I'll come over to your place tomorrow so think of something exciting to do." I said as I winked at him and walked away. I think I saw him blush before I walked out of the county club and went straight home. I couldn't wait for the weekend to start. I had never been this excited, even before the play-offs which trust me, are a big deal. I had a huge ass eating grin and I knew I had been lying to myself all this time. He was what I wanted, what I really needed. I just didn't have the guts to tell him but I promised myself I would make my move this weekend.

Tristan was seating at front porch in a rocker chair, he was drinking some hot beverage, the weather had been a bit on the down low. I think he must have thought I wasn't coming; my dad had to tell me that my uncle and family where coming a week early so I had to wait on him to say just that. I bet he was now tired of listening for a car that seemed not to arrive. I saw him watch me as I parked my Mustang under a huge oak tree. His dog Sparky barked a greeting as i opened my door, his tail was wagging furiously. I saw Tristan smile as I reached down to pat and brush Sparky's fur. I took my overnight bag and walked to him with Sparky at my heels. He looked relaxed calm and confident as always, me I was probably sweating like a pig. I felt so agitated not because I didn't want to be here but because I was nervous and knew I'd make an ass of myself as always. The thought of me being with him for a weekend freaked me. "Hello he said as radiance flowed from his eyes. I looked at him as if it where my first time seeing him

Tristan was tall maybe 6ft to my 6ft 3 and he came just over my shoulder. His body was lean but powerful with his darky curly hairy which is usually waxed or jelled up and his eyes were a light grey that usually turned blue depending on light and his mood. He was a colored boy, mixed in terms of race so he had a naturally tan like bronzed skin which let his eyes sparkle like morning dew in spring. He was magnificent and mysterious and his physical presence struck me like a blow. All this time I had been staring at him probably with my mouth open like some retard but he shocked me out of my reverie when he repeated his hello. I looked at his lips, those big juicy lips which were slightly reddish. I was struck by how drop dead gorgeous this boy was. I was usually not into detail but Tristan demanded intricate attention. He was just too precious. "Hi" I responded weakly. I'm always in control but this boy made me loss it. But the funny thing was I didn't mind at all. I knew he could be my undoing because of the hold he had on me. "So what do you have planned for us?" I asked as I reached the porch and he took my overnight bag. He went inside and came back immediately. "Well I was thinking we could go hiking up the mountain trail but this weather is just unpredictable." He hesitated for a moment as he sat on the rocker. He patted next to him on the rocker and I sat next to him. "I'm not sure it's a good idea." "Is it far" I cut him feeling enthusiastic. I don't remember when last I was up on a trail. "Funny how fine the weather was like, just this morning" I said as I looked up at the clouds overhead. "Well it's up the creek and a mile and a half I guess" he said. "We should go" I finally said. "Since you're full of determinism we'll go." He said and went inside leaving me and sparky outside. He returned with a bag full of stale bread and Sparky's leash. "I hope that's not for us." I said with a feigned look of horror and he laughed out loud and said "Well you look hungry and I know you'd like a snack later on" we both laughed and he led the way to the mountain trail. "I hope I won't regret this" he said as he put Sparky on his leash. "Should I take him?" I offered as we went on the path towards the sparsely timber forest. "So what are we going to do?" I asked as I took over Sparky's leash. "It's a secret and a surprise I won't spoil it by telling you now, would I" he said with an adorable grin on his face. We walked towards the waterfront of a river and we went towards the jetty. "I usually take the canoe to watch the sunset, there's a to die for view up the creek." "That should be interesting." I said really interested. "You should invite me someday to watch the view." I said as he took a few steps before responding. "It's something special and wonderful. I just started but it's something that's too good and needs to be shared." He said. We reached the end of the jetty where the boat was tied to a pole. He tossed the bag inside and I untied Sparky and he sniffed the area and jumped in the canoe I guess he was familiar with the routine himself. I entered the canoe as he told me too. "Can I do anything?" I asked feeling a bit useless not knowing anything about the outdoors first hand I felt shy. "Nope I'm okay" he said as he placed his feet carefully not to capsize the canoe. I was impressed by his agility, knowing very well that the way he had just pushed the boat was harder than it seemed. "Are you impressed" he said registering my shock. "Hell no, that's sooo easy" I said not wanting to state the obvious. He just laughed and I found myself also laughing. Tristan had one of those infectious laughs and you couldn't but help laugh with him. He then said something about me missing the view when he started paddling but I said I was fine. I had come to see him. It's him that I wanted. His t-shirt was those low V-neck graphic tee's with stars on and there was a hint of his chest muscles and it stuck to his body showing a small lightly defined six pack. I looked on as his muscles flexed with every stroke he took. The sleeves of the tee were roled over to reveal his small biceps. He wasn't very muscular but his frame and little muscles were very sexy.

Magnificent' I thought, there was something artistic about him, as if being on water was beyond his control. I could not think of anyone that resembled Tristan remotely. He was complicated yet simple. A strange combination. On the surface he looked weak but he was strong and there was just so much more about him. "What are you thinking about?" I felt my insides jump when he asked me as his voice brought me back into the canoe. My mind had drifted and I realized that I had not said much since we had started the journey and I appreciated the silence he had afforded me. "Nature has that effect on people, you just get connect with you. I think that's why I like coming here." He said as he continued to paddle. Considerable and nice' I thought `would Vanessa even allow me time to be me. Hell no there would always be time for her and her not me time.' "Good things" I finally responded to his question with a smile. I saw it in his eyes that he knew what I was thinking about and I hope he was thinking about me too. I felt something was stirring inside of me that I couldn't explain it in words. I looked up to see him looking at me. He flushed and turned away before he thought I noticed but I did. "How are you feeling now." he asked "Me I don't know, love. often people describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's exactly how it's for me. I didn't plan on feeling like this but I do and it's clear I can't control what was happening. I fell in love and for me this has never happene." Tristan was now looking at me, he had forgotten to paddle. I had a mini heart attack thinking I had blown it before it even started. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable I didn't mean but it's the truth" "Don't feel bad it didn't make me uncomfortable it's just that I'm touched that all. It was beautiful" he said and I felt a very big smile cross my face.

A peaceful silence descended upon us allowing us both to absorb what had taken place. The gentle rocking of the water against the boat and the rhythmical ripples that so ever caressed the oars was soothing as a light breeze blew. However the light breeze had stopped and the clouds moved in above us as the sun was fading fast beneath the clouds.

I noted it all, every sound, every move. The wind whispering against my face, the forest path opening up before us. The rustling of the leaves and trees, the smell of the grass and the warmth of the suns' rays against my face. The chirping of the birds. My senses had come alive and they revitalized me. This was rich, a world I didn't know. It was very unfamiliar to my world. Whom did I know that took time to watch sunsets, or go canoeing for that matter? People I know are good at having parties, cruising on cruise lines or travelling on private jets. Those are the things that ruled my society but somehow I felt like the things Tristan did really made life worth living for.

I looked around as we got off the boat. We walked along a narrow clearing in the forest and came to a gate where it said private property, trespassers will be prosecuted. We entered the property and we came to a sort of a park. This was a park dedicated to rehabilitate and breed exotic birds. I was amazed at the kinds of birds they had here, they were birds of different sizes shapes and not to mention colours, the ones that stood out the most where the peacocks and their beautiful feathers while the golden pheasants were competing to also be seen. It was amazing. Even sparky was enjoying a wild goose chase and the pigeon like being chased I laughed at how goofy he was being and the birds seemed to play along. "Do you want to feed them" he said handing me the bag of stale bread. "Sure, but won't we get in trouble" I asked uncertainly" look who's asking about trouble he said. I blushed at that but true I was the one that was never mindful of trouble. "I know the owner of the rehab and I volunteer to clean and feed the birds." He said as he led me to the place where he said the surprise was. "Who's there" a cocky high pitched voiced said as we entered the room. "It's me Kiko" Tristan said we entered a room full of different coloured parrots. "This is Kiko" he said as he put his hand to Kiko's cage and she came out. "She is a grey African parrot" he said "No she's not" Kiko said and I was I astounded. "She's Kiko" she added. I lost it then and I started laughing. That bird was amazing. "You should have named her Corny as much" I said in-between my laughter. "What's your name? What's your name?" she said as I tried to take her but she refused. "Wow!" "Yea, she came her with a broken wing so I nursed her and taught her some stuff. "Corny as much" she echoed me "Yes Kiko. What do you say?" "Hello, Hello my name is Kiko Kiko" the bird said and bowed her head. I was beyond amazed. We left the house after some sad goodbyes from Kiko.

Thunder boomed in the distance, faint but still powerful, we both knew we were in trouble. Sparky ran up to us as we quickly returned to the canoe. As we entered the canoe I offered to help this time so it could be faster. I paddled faster as darker clouds rolled overhead. Soon rain began to fall, a light sprinkle then gradually harder drops fell. There was lightning, a pause then thunder, a little louder and closer than the last one. Thicker drops then started to fall. Tristan was calm but I started cursing to myself, losing to Mother Nature. He had stopped paddling and was enjoying the rain fall in different angles. "Bad timing." I said. "Well its good lucky if the first rain of the season rain on you" he said as he ran his hands through his curly black hair. I started breathing hard as I paddled fast towards the cabin's jetty. A cloud burst directly above us and the rain seemed to pour on us. I looked upwards and gave up. I stared paddling normally and Tristan laughed, "About time you realise, it's pointless to fight Mother Nature" we both laughed. We reached the jetty and I helped him out of the canoe. Sparky had run ahead as soon as we reached the jetty. I had to be quick against the strong currents of the river as I tied the canoe to the jetty. I looked up and my eyes passed through Tristan, I stopped breathing for a while. He was handsome. He didn't try to hide or shy away and his tee and skinny jeans were all looking like latex speedos glued to his perfect petite and lean body, embracing it amiably. Even my white polo shirt and cargo pants were like skinnies hanging tightly to my body. "Oh God" I thought and unconsciously licked my lips. Our eyes met and I quickly turned away at being caught perving over him. When I was done, he took his hand in mine. I then realised that something had changed. Although I couldn't pin point exactly where_ be it in the canoe, at the rehab or when I confessed my feelings. However I knew one thing though. I was in love with Tristan Manson Williams.

There was no uneasiness between us as we reached the door and went inside. We paused in the hall, clothes dripping wet. "I think I can find something to wear. But it might be all muscle tops and boxers for you." He said and we both laughed.

No it's fine. Remember I brought with an overnight and emergence kit. I said looking around for my bag. He handed me my bag and said I'll be back in a sec, he ran deep into the house. He came back a minute later wearing some skimpy pj shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt. He had with him a mop and he saw me standing in my wet clothes. "You can go change my room; it is the first room to your left, bathroom's also there." He said and mopped the timber floors. I thanked him as I went to the room. I stripped my cargo pants and polo down to my boxers.

`I'm not vain but seriously I'm hot' I thought as I smiled to myself. I looked myself up and down and wondered if Tristan would be pleased with my body. I then thought I shouldn't bath since I kinda liked the feeling of my skin, it felt velvety and soft. I was wearing my sweat pants and a t-shirt that did wonders for my chest and abs. Feeling extremely hot, I went back to find him. Tristan was in the living room, squatted before the fire place doing his best to coax a fire to life. He didn't see me come in so I stood at the door and watched him. He turned as soon as the flames were dancing merrily. He stacked a few logs next to the fire place. "I didn't see you come in." he finally said. He brushed his hands on his pants and pointed to the kitchen. "I could get you something hot to drink, maybe coffee, tea or cocoa. I had started the water while you were changing." I thought for a second and said hot cocoa would be nice. He went to the kitchen and I watched as his rain his hand thru his curly hair. "Um so cocoa it will be" he said as he disappeared behind the counter.

Thunder boomed loudly and another downpour started. I could hear the rain pouring heavy outside, the snapping of the logs and the flickering of the flames. The dim light from the room that came from the fireplace eliminated since all the lights were off. I took a quilt from the sofa and sat in front of the fireplace on a rug. I was so comfortable down there and I was lost to the dancing flames when Tristan came back with two mugs in hand. He sat next to me and said "You sat on my spot" with a curl on his lips it was so sexy and I took the cocoa from him and said. "I'm officially claiming it as mine same as I did the owner." He blushed some and snuggled close to me. Outside the sky drew darker, the storm was in full furry, wind was whipping the rain as we could hear it mourning.

"It's quite a storm." He said as he watched the drops form on the window. We were now seating close together. I watched as he sipped his cocoa longingly. "I like it." He said as a smile crept across his lips that were still close to the mug. "Well what exactly? The fact that I'm here with you or the storm." I said with a gleam of mischief. "Well I must admit both, but I'll go with the storm first cause it gave us this time and I've always like storms" he said "The storm" I asked "How come you like it, most pe ." "I'm not like most people and I" he cut me off "True, you're not like most people and that's what I like about you You're unique." I said as I tried to figure out why he liked storms. "As much clich d as it sounds, I haven't met anyone like you." I continued as I looked in his eyes. ". and I like you Tristan, you're so sweet" I stopped there not knowing what more to say and he was so quiet and I was about to start freaking out.

A log snapped sending sparks up the chimney; we both looked at the smouldering remains. I took a gulp of the last of my cocoa and felt its warmth fill my insides. Glancing outside through the window, I saw that the clouds were greyish black and thick. There was a calming silence prevailing and I slept back on the rug. Tristan followed suit and covered us both with the quilt. He leaned in my chest and we snuggled closely and I felt his body and I put my arm across him. It felt so right to be here, everything was just perfect_ the fire, the hot cocoa, the storm and us so close. It couldn't have been more perfect. He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me with his grey eyes blazing mine. He kissed me softly on the forehead, he brought his hands to my face and touched my cheeks brushing them with his soft hands. I involuntarily shuddered from the sensation of his fingers. I leaned down slowly towards his face, I held his gaze for a while and I kissed him tenderly, he kissed back feeling the kiss turn to passion, he closed his eyes and parted his lips and ran his hand up and down my arm slowly and softly. The world seemed dreamy like as we pulled apart. The fire lighted his face aglow and we lay back on the rug. The heat from the fire made the air seem thick as we tried to catch our breaths from the hot kiss. I turned to face him as he also did the same. I ran my hand through his hair and we gazed into each other's eyes. "Are you hungry?" He asked still looking at me. "No I'm ok, but if you want something go ahead." "No I'm fine just wanted to make sure you're okay." "Are you still a good singer" I asked remembering he used to love singing. He laughed and said I try do you want me to sign for you." "Yes please my request is um . um ." I said as I thought. "Okay yea Awake by Secondhand Serenade" "Get out!" he said "I so love that band yea cool choice" he said and took a breath and he started signing

`.With every appearance by you wanting my eyes

I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do

You're an angel disguised and you're lying real still

But your heart's beats fastest like mine and the movie

Flung over that's three that ave past one more's fine

Will you stay awake for me I don't wana mis anything

I will share the air I breathe I'll give

You my heart on a string

I just don't wana mis anything

I'm trying real hard not to shake

I'm biting my tongue but I'm feeling alive and

With every breath that I take I feel like I've won

Your my key to survival and if it's a hero you

Want I can save you just stay here.'

I was breathless, this boy had the most amazing voice ever, and he was signing the song straight to my heart. I stood up with him and I started dancing while he sang. To a stranger this could have seemed strange and trust me I don't dance but I just felt so happy so I danced. I took him into my hands and we started slow dancing together. He put his head on my shoulder as he sang "Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade." I closed my eyes as his voice soothed my being. Later on we resumed our sleeping position as he sang I would also sing here and there but my voice just cause a lot of discord so I just enjoyed his voice. We both fell into an enchanted sleep in each other's arms.

Occasionally I would wake up and look at him, his body spent and radiant. I couldn't believe my luck. I knew then I wouldn't mind just staying awake the whole night, listening to his steady breathing. I watched as a smile crept across his lovely face. I didn't want to miss a moment of this beautiful moment. I then thought `What if this was just a dream' it was after all too good, yea too good to be true. I panicked a bit but his breath assured me I was here and very much awake. I was so close to him that I could feel his breath on my chest. I wondered what he was dreaming about then I kissed him lightly on his forehead and wished I could just spend my life like this. I just fell asleep cuddled next to him and moments before daylight, my eyes fluttered open. I saw him smile and he reached up to my face and kissed me lightly. We starred at each other.

"You're a song, a dream, a whisper. I don't know how I've managed to live without you but now that I've found you I don't think I can. I love you Nicolai Neil Alexander II" he whispered. "Tan" I said pulling him closer to me. "I love you soooo much" I didn't know what to say so I just kissed him. Moments later we woke up from the floor. Amazingly we slept down there throughout the night. We cooked our breakfast together and ate some bacon, eggs, bangers and toast with some apple juice. The morning seemed to be a strong confirmation of the bond we forged the previous night. We spent the whole morning watching movies. He asked which my favourite was and of course we watched The Avengers and I told him all my favourite parts during the movie. Just before I got a call from my dad saying to come home asap. What a bummer it was, me having to leave. We walked to my car and I left to get ready for my dad's big party that afternoon..

• Hi. If you have any comments about the story (whether good or bad),

Kindly drop me a line at whenheartscollide01@hotmail.com. I'll do my very best to reply to every single e-mail I receive and thanks for all the wonderful emails looking forward to them.

Syke.s