The following is the conclusion, part 5 of a story, (What's a jock to do?) written by me, Russel Mohan, Part 1,2,3, and 4 are already submitted to the Bi/Encounters section.
Thank you very much!
TITLE- What's a jock to do? Part 4 Copyright Russel Mohan 2006
(I would really love to know what you, the readers think about my story, and am thankful for the time spent reading my work. Please send your honest comments to my e-mail, macron12@hotmail.com, really appreciate your time!)
I didn't want to wake up in the morning. It was that simple. How could I face the world after this life changing event. I felt turmoil gushing out of my heart, consuming me with its never ending poison. It was the guilt of having cheated on my girlfriend, with a guy, and a guy who was her best friend. I really didn't know what to do or say to them both, and was glad that I didn't have to face Kelly immediately, but knew I had to face her very soon. As the sun rose, I still didn't want to wake up. I just held Trini close to me, and kissed his cheeks, trying to lose myself in his warmth and beauty when slowly the peace of the moment combined with his prescence made all the turmoil and guilt slowly fade away, so that I could truly enjoy this moment with him, that we shared.
His fever was gone by now, and I fully took credit for it, being the arrogant jock I was Lol and as he woke up and lifted his upper body off the bed and looked at me, saying morning I stretched out and lying there just looked into his dark brown, almost black eyes. He didn't say much after, just put his head on my chest and I held him tight. He felt loved I guess, protected, and I really wanted him to feel that way with me, like a little brother almost. But we would have to wake up soon to the world. This is what I didn't want to do. But I knew I couldn't wake up to the same world, and lie to Kelly. Some changes needed to be made, and I was not going to carry on an affair with this boy behind my girlfriend's back.
He looked up at me and said he felt better. " Robert, I think I should go, it's getting late in the morning, and I've got some things to do", he looked into my eyes saying this trying to hide his reluctance. "I won't tell Kelly", he said. " I've always liked you from the start, but I wasn't plotting this. I'll get dressed and go."
I looked at him and kissed those lips of his, sweet and beautiful. I told him to wait, and take a shower, and I would take him home in my SUV. He said he could take a cab into town, where he had some stuff to do, but I told him to relax, that I had some stuff to do in town as well. He listened, and went to the shower, and I went downstairs and made us some toast. I remembered that his clothes would be dirty, so I went up again, when I finished making breakfast, and got some clothes that were his size, in one of the spare rooms. As I entered my room where he was changing, he had just come out of my en suite bathroom, with a big white towel wrapped around his waist, as being a huge guy, I only had big towels. He looked at me and smiled, a little embarrassed. I smiled back and threw the clothes on the bed. Then I looked at him intensely, with sex in my eyes, the heat of the situation burning up the room setting our bodies on a rapid path of fire. I wanted to have full on sex with him, do everything with him, right then and there.
And I was sure that he was thinking the same thing. He was young though, and the last thing that I wanted, was to mess up his life, by involving him in a love triangle. Well I wouldn't be messing up his life, just his friendship with his best friend and my girlfriend, and well also wrecking my relationship with her. I was falling in love with Trini, and I was already in love with Kelly, as madly in love with this girl, my girlfriend, as any man could be with a woman. I loved my life, and how it was. I wasn't like some sad, pathetic loser, just moping around the place, like some beach bum who didn't have the slightest idea about what he wanted. I felt proud of myself and I really wanted to move further in life, as I had a lot to accomplish.
As he stood there, and the heat of the moment became more apparent, I realized why I was falling in love with him. He seemed so serene, so peaceful, as if there was nothing wrong with him. Everything seemed like an untouched meadow with him. He was beautiful for sure, and I liked him a lot, and could see myself with him, really wanting to know what it would be like to be with a guy and have a relationship with one, especially him.
He looked at me, with those beautiful eyes, and then his mouth opened. "I don't know what to do or to say. I liked you from the day we met, and I never dreamt that I would even get a conversation out of you, far less a night of passion like that."
I had to respond with the truth, and I told him that I didn't know what was going on, that I was confused, but that I knew for sure that I liked him a lot. However, I didn't say that I was falling in love, as part of me, wanted to wait and see what the future would bring, and not let him know about the true strength of my feelings. But I didn't want this to be some long dragged out affair. That would create more turmoil, and I was already having a hard time dealing with the fact that I had already cheated on my beautiful girlfriend, the girl that all my friends and family thought I should marry. I was trying not to make last night feel like a mistake. A lot of men cheat on their partners, with other people, including straight men like me, cheating on their girlfriends with other guys.
A lot of those guys were just plain confused to me. Sleeping around with other men, then going back to their wife or girlfriend, doing it over and over again, like a totally regular thing. I didn't want that mess to be my life, not for sexual gratification. For me having feelings for men, wasn't some `weird fetish' it was something that was true and real, but I just needed time to see where I could take this. There was just one thing to do, and that was to make a fast decision, and avoid any kind of prolonged pain and hurt to the people I cared for, meaning, Kelly and Trini.
I looked at Trini, and told him the truth right there to his face, that I was dying to make love to him, but that I couldn't, at least not yet, not while I had Kelly to think about. "You're a good man", he said. He got dressed and then we had breakfast.
After I dropped Trini off in town and did what I had to do. I had decided that very day, to have a serious discussion with Kelly. We had dinner at night and it was great how we still got along, after I had confessed all to her, that I had slept with her best friend, and that we both hadn't intended for it to happen, that we both felt sorry about it.
She held my hand, as I broke down in the parking lot, where I had told her everything, and how guilty I had felt about it. I had a hard time coming to terms with what had happened, and she told me that in life we were meant to fall down, weather it's caused by ourselves or situations or other people and it's up to us to decide how we get over them, and pick ourselves up.
I realized that she was right, and I wept in her arms. The pain was way less because she was there, and she totally understood what I was going through, as she knew that in society, people are meant to play roles, and sometimes those roles, aren't entirely who we are. We went home, and slept together, she made love to me, made me cum, made my body yearn and ache passionately. Then the next morning, she made a date with Trini to talk to him.
Naturally I had told Trini about my plans that night to take Kelly out and let her know everything, and when she met Trini, she said that she understood and both forgave us for sleeping together that night. Trini said that the situation was in our hands now, mine and Kelly's. That he would stay out and away, but a few days after, what was coming came, and me and Kelly broke up.
As usual everyone was shocked, and no one was told anything in the way of details, about what had happened between me and Trini. He had to be protected, as he was innocent in all of this, just a kid and the last thing that he needed was my groups of friends and Kelly's calling him a home wrecker. So what was left to do? I and Kelly got closer, but Trini dropped of the scene, he wrote us a letter and said that he was sorry for the second time.
He knew there was no bad blood. Kelly and I got closer however, and even though the break up was difficult, I concentrated on by surf stores and opened up a few more around the area. I needed to meet a guy though, and after two months, Kelly was seeing someone new and so was I. It was too good to be true, but in this case, it was the real deal, after all that suffering, I finally had what was coming to me. He was a great guy, also a football player, entering college studying business or something along those lines. He was Trini's age, and I loved him dearly, we had met at the bar on the beach one morning while I was having coffee there, and there was nowhere to sit, so he came over and asked if he could share the table, we got to talking, and he said he was new in the area. His name was James, and he was half French, half American, coming from New York, and very handsome, tall, not as tall as me though. He was a happy, healthy kid and from the moment he sat down that day we met, we both knew something had happened. We didn't make love that night, but switched phone numbers, both of us not knowing that we were both totally, already falling hard for each other.
I saw Trini a few times around, but we never said hi to each other, he and Kelly had stopped hanging out together and there was no news about him. By this time, I had started to go out to the gay bars, with James who was now officially my boyfriend. We did they gay scene together, attending some parties and even flying away to New York when we could.
The gay scene was great and we even made some really cool friends, gay athletes, people in that field, as me and James were both passionate about sports, football, etc. However, the gay scene wasn't our life, and seldom did do the gay bars, but enjoyed them when we did.
We planned a summer trip to Paris, and Kelly was there to wish us well at the airport when the plane took off. She wrote a few days after and said that she and Trini had gotten back in contact, and were planning a trip somewhere, maybe Paris too. Kelly had broken up with her new boyfriend, and Trini was there to help when I wasn't, and they both got back to being best friends.
They joined us in Amsterdam, a few weeks after, and we both sat down at the terrace of a great gay bar, watching the Dutch go by in the very gay district of this small Dutch city. It was vibrant, beautiful and the people were great, I even thought I saw a hot guy chatting Trini up. We all got along great, and Kelly was our princess of the group, and she was having a blast, hanging out with three hot guys, such as us.
One night we went to Greece, to the island of Mykonos and took a wonderful hotel on the beach, near all the great gay bars and clubs. I saw Trini out there in the moonlight on the beach one night when he said he was going to take a walk. I looked out the balcony while James slept as we shared a room, naturally, and watched out on the beach at Trini's tiny figure strolling along undisturbed. I immediately got concerned when I saw another figure walking in his direction, probably another guest at the hotel, but all my fears went when I saw the two started talking to each other and headed back to the hotel together.
The next morning, we all had to meet each other for breakfast in the hotel breakfast room. As Kelly came down, me and James were already at the table for four, and I asked where Trini was, as she had come alone. She then said she was going to ask us the same thing, as she he didn't sleep in their room last night. With concern in our minds, we looked around, until two guys came up to us, one Trini, and the other was the mystery man from last night. They said they were going to take a walk on the beach and meet up with us later. We were all shocked at this, but happy, as the two held hands as they left the room. Watching them go I felt happy for Trini, and I took James' hand just then under the table, and we continued doing so, even after we got up and went into town with Kelly at our side.