What Makes a Man

By Zelda

Published on Jan 2, 2002

Gay

Disclaimer: The same as the others; don't know, nor own the guys, even as much as I'd like to, and this story is not to represent the guys' sexuality, as I don't know that. This is just a story, fiction, and should not be taken too seriously.

The lyrics are taken from 'All you Want' by Dido. Though I skipped parts of it, that didn't really fit into the story.

Zelda (zeldium@yahoo.no)

---------------- All you want.

'I'd like to watch you sleep at night To hear you breathe, by my side And although sleep leaves me behind, there's nowhere I'd rather be And now our bed is oh, so cold My hand's feel empty, no one to hold'

"I mean, of course it makes me think, I was in love with Shane, and he said he wasn't into anything like this, so when I hear something like this... but it doesn't... bother me!" Mark said, a bit reluctant.

Kian looked at Mark. "If it bothers you, just tell me. I understand it perfectly well. It bothers me as well..." he said, and went to a sofa nearby, and sat down.

Mark followed him and sat down next to him. "What do you mean?"

"The thought of Bryan and Shane sleeping together bothers me," Kian answered, avoiding the real answer.

"Ok, I understood that, but why?"

Kian sighed, and looked away. "Bryan and I used to be an item..." he said.

Mark looked surprised at him. "Why didn't you tell me? I told you everything about Shane; you could've trusted me with Bryan!"

Kian looked at him. "What for? I don't want to talk about Bryan, Ok? It hurts enough as it does..." Kian rose up to leave.

Mark sat back, hurt and confused. He had just asked a question; he didn't know how much Kian felt for and missed Bryan, and that there was nothing he'd rather do, than to get back together with him.

'And I can't sleep what side I want It's not the same, with you gone'

Bryan finally broke the kiss. Shane didn't really know what to say. He just stared at Bryan.

"Why... why did you just do that?" he asked.

Bryan shrugged. "I wanted to, Shane. I wanted to... 'thank you', because what happened last night meant a lot to me, as well."

Shane just stared back. He didn't know what to do. In a way he wanted to answer something resemblance, but felt that if he did, he'd send out the wrong signals.

"Bryan, you know that this night meant a lot to me, but you also know why it did. Please don't confuse me more than necessary; I still don't know what I feel about anything..."

The door to the lift opened, and they turned to see Nicky. "Hi guys," he said and came into the lift.

"Hey Nicky," they both said quietly. Bryan inched away from Shane, and leaned to the wall. But Nicky was too tired to notice the tension between the two others anyway, and didn't notice the looks Bryan and Shane sent each other.

'Oh, if you'd come home, I'd let you know that All you want, is right here in this room All you want And all you need, is sitting here with you All you want'

As Mark watched Kian walk away to Anto and started talking with him, he felt that he had been slapped in the face. Ok, so it had been rude of Mark to ask about something like that, but Kian didn't haft to react like that... how could Mark know that Kian was very sensitive on that area?

Mark took his arms around himself, as if it was cold. But it wasn't cold. It was more like protection.

As people walked by, he felt so exposed, as if they could read his face like green and blue neon sign, and could tell what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He knew very well that they couldn't, but as they were staring at his way, he was sure they could see his feelings.

'What do you haft to be afraid of? What are you feeling? Exactly; nothing...'

But when the lift opened, and he saw Shane coming out there, with Bryan and Nicky, he knew he was just fooling himself.

He swallowed and looked down, admitting that he did feel something; his own emptiness after pushing his feelings for Shane away to get over him...

'It's been three years, one night apart But in that night, you tore my heart If only you had slept alone If those seeds, had not been sown'

Kian looked over at Mark, feeling a little bad about the way he had handled the Bryan and Shane-discussion. He saw that he was feeling bad by the way he was looking down. Then he saw that the others had come down too.

When he met Bryan's eyes, he had to look down too...

'Oh, you could come home, and you would know that All you want, is right here in this room All you want And all you need, is sitting here with you All you want'

"Well, now that you're all finally here... let's go!" Anto said. He sensed that it would be a very long day. They didn't seem to have the good old enthusiasm that they usually had. He knew that they could be tired, but that didn't seem to be the problem, though it seemed like Nicky could've slept a lot better.

With the others, he couldn't figure out what was going on. Kian and Mark seemed to avoid each other. He just guessed they'd had a row, but when he saw how they both stole glances from Bryan and Shane, that had suddenly become so close, he wondered if there was something more to it...

'All you want is right there in that room All you want And all you want, is right there in that room All you want'

When they finally were back at the hotel after a long and tiring day, Bryan stopped Shane outside his room.

"Have you thought more about...?" he asked.

Shane blushed vaguely. "Well, there hasn't been much else to think about..." Bryan looked around them before he leaned to him.

Shane looked up at him, and closed his eyes, as Bryan found his way to his lips, and engaged in a kiss.

Shane willingly kissed him back, but then broke it. "I don't want to do it here..."

"Well, we could continue this in you room..." Bryan suggested.

Shane smiled, and then opened the door.

'I'd like to watch you sleep at night To hear you breathe By my side'

Next: Chapter 6


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