What Makes a Man

By Zelda

Published on Nov 13, 2001

Gay

Disclaimer: Don't know Westlife or any of their connections; sadly, this is all fiction...

Here's the third part. The lyrics are from 'The art of letting Go', by Mikiala.


3.The art of letting Go

'Put away the pictures Put away the memories I fought over and over Through my tears Held them till I'm blind They kept my hope alive'

Shane stirred and rubbed his eyes. It felt a bit crowded in the bed, and he looked to his side, to see Bryan, still asleep and his arms around him.

Shane just stared at him, didn't really know what to do. He remembered clearly what had happened the night before, ad wondered 'What now?'. Slowly Shane reached out his hand and touched his face. He felt that he had been using Bryan, and it didn't feel right. He just needed someone...

Shane leaned closer to him, and rested his head to Bryan's chest, and felt once again a bit of the safety he had felt the night before.

'As if somehow that Might keep you here Once you believed in A love forever more How do you leave it In a drawer?'

Bryan moved and Shane looked up at him. He slowly inched away from him, still staring at him.

Bryan opened his eyes. He looked at Shane, still very tired, and trying to figure out what he was doing in Shane's bed. Suddenly his eyes widened, and as he hastily pulled away from Shane, he accidentally fell out of the bed in panic. Shane looked down to Bryan. "You Ok?" he asked.

"I... I don't... I don't know..." Bryan stuttered, and rose up, grasping his clothes that was laying around. "We didn't..." he asked putting his clothes back on.

"That depends on how far you mean..."

"You know..."

"Not that far."

Bryan seemed a slight more relieved, but he still looked worried. "I... gotta go..." he said, and went to the door.

"Bryan..." Shane said. Bryan looked back at him. "Can I just say anything before you go?" Bryan shrugged. He was still a bit insecure about what had happened, and didn't quite know what to say.

Shane sighed. "To you, this might be one of the biggest mistakes that you've ever done, and you'll probably regret it... what am I saying, you already are, obviously, but to me it meant the world... thanks Bryan."

Bryan looked at Shane, before he opened the door and left.

'Now here it comes The hardest part of all Unchain my heart That's holding on How do I start to Live my life alone Guess I'm just learning Learning the art of letting go'

Mark woke up and smiled. He looked up at Kian, who was looking down at him. "How come you're up, and you didn't wake me?" he asked, as Kian was getting dressed.

"You were in such a deep sleep, and didn't want to wake you; you looked so cute. Besides, after last night, I guessed you might want as much sleep as you can get..." Kian said, and leaned down to kiss him.

Mark pulled him down into the bed. "And I want to rest with you..." he said and kissed him.

Kian grinned. "As much as I'd like to do just that," he said, and picked his finger on his nose, "I'm afraid we haft to be downstairs in a half an hour."

Mark pouted. "Crap..." he said.

Kian rose up from the bed. "See you downstairs?"

"I guess..." Mark sighed, and rose up from the bed as Kian went out of the door.

As Kian closed the door, Shane's door just across the hall opened as Bryan came out of there.

Kian looked at Bryan, and Bryan glared back.

Kian wondered. He knew that Bryan was supposed to go to Shane's room with some notes since Shane had gone early from the meeting with the management, but why was he coming out of there NOW.

"Hi Bryan..." Kian said.

"Hi to you too," Bryan answered, obviously a bit awkward.

"So, did you give Shane the notes?"

Bryan looked as if he was to say 'Damn, I knew I forgot something!', but said; "Uh, of course I did..." and looked away.

Kian sighed. "I know it's none of my business, but did you and Shane..."

"Spend the night together?"

Kian nodded. "Sorry for asking, but..."

Bryan looked away. "It wasn't planned, and I don't think it was good for any parts, but yes... and no," Bryan looked up at him. "It is none of your business, Kian!"

Kian just looked away, ashamed of his habit of sticking his nose where it wasn't welcome.

"I should be able to sleep with whoever I want, for yours sake, shouldn't I?"

"Of course, I was just wondering..."

"Why should you even care, Kian? You were the one who ran off to Mark, so if I would want to sleep with Shane, I should have the right to do so, without worrying if my ex would butt in, right?"

"Of course, never mind me..." Kian sighed.

Bryan just frowned and went to the lift.

'Tired to say it's over Say the word goodbye But each time it Catches in my throat You're still here in me And I can't set you free So I hold onto What I love the most'

Shane got dressed. He felt strange. He didn't quite feel as empty and lonely as earlier, but he felt that he would soon do, just a thousand times worse...

And as he walked out of the room, he did...

He stared at two blue eyes, looking back at him. "Hey Kian..." Shane said, and looked down at his feet.

"Shane..." Kian simply answered. "Did you get the papers from Bryan last night?"

Shane looked puzzled at him, before he nodded understanding, as if he had understood something. "Uh, yeah..."

"Right..." Kian said, and looked away.

Then the door opened again, when Mark came out.

"What, you haven't gotten further?" he asked, and wrapped his arms around him, and then he noticed Shane. "Oh, hi Shane," he said and loosened his grip around Kian.

'Maybe someday we'll be friends forever more Wish I could open up that door Now here it comes the hardest part of all Unchain my heart That's holding on How do I start to live my life alone Guess I'm just learning Learning the art of letting go'

"Well, we better get going..." Kian said, and took Mark's hand.

"Yeah," Mark said and smiled to him, but then looked at Shane. "Eh, Kian, can I just talk with Shane for a sec?"

Kian looked at Shane, and shrugged before he let go of Shane's hand and went down the hall.

'Watching us fade What can I do But try to make it Through the pain Of one more day without you Where do I start to Live my life alone Guess I'm just learning Only learning Learning the art of letting go'

Next: Chapter 4


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