DISCLAIMER: This is a story out the fantasy that is my mind. It is a story that deals with homosexual material. If you live in a jurisdiction that by some law or reason prohibits you from reading this material then please do not read any further. If homosexual material like this offends you then you should stop reading as well...Though frankly if homosexual material offends you, I can't understand why you would be here in the first place.
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Mike
INTRODUCTION TO THE SERIES: What If?: Have you ever asked that question? Have you ever wondered what life would have been like if at any particular time things had turned out differently? As I grow older I find my self wondering more and more what would have happened if I had done this instead of that and so on.
I think we can all look back over our lives and point to specific times or incidents that were turning point moments in our lives. They were times that we were put in the position to make a decision to go one way or another. And we wonder 'Had things turned out differently or if we or others had made different choices in our lives how would it have turned out?' Who knows how they might have turned out? But it is certainly a source of much fantasy
I can think of numerous circumstances, incidents and choices that I made at various times in my life, that had I moved in a different direction, I might well not be where I find myself today.
That is what this series is about.. What could have happened? Sometimes they were indeed life altering decisions. Sometimes it is just something that could have happened, or looking back I would have liked to have happened.
At any rate I hope you enjoy these little flights of fancy with me.
The Ballet Dancer
When I was in grade three in Montreal, there was an opportunity to take ballet. However even at that age (I would have been about 7 or 8ish) I knew in my heart of hearts for some unknown reason that it was not something that boys did. I didn't know why I knew this, but I just knew. How male ballet dancers ever arrived at their chosen profession was not something that occurred to me at that time I remember thinking though that it was something that I would have liked to have done. Over the years (some more than 60 now) that have passed since then I have often thought about being in the ballet. I love the beauty of the dance, in particular classical ballet. The exquisite movements of the dancers as they portray the story in the music. I have often wondered if I could have been a dancer. And then my mind wanders back to that time in grade three when I saw those kids going off to their ballet class and wishing I was going with them.
It is from wonderings that this story comes.
I had been taking ballet now for about five years. So far, I had only had women teachers but this week when I had gone to "ballet" as I called my lessons there was a man there. He looked to be about 40 or so. He was dressed in a form fitting turtleneck top and slacks. He had darkish brown hair and I later noticed knee buckling, soul melting brown eyes. (I have always had a thing for brown eyes)
Anyway I got changed and keeping my eye on the stranger I went right to my warmup routine. I noticed that he was watching the others and me as he spoke with our teacher.
Once everyone was assembled and we had finished our warmups the teacher called me over to her. "Misha" (my name was Mike to everyone else but her. She always called me Misha, (it must have been some kind of Russian thing, because that's what she was) anyway, I liked her and kind of liked being called Misha... it had a kind of exotic ring to it. Anyway, as I went to her the man smiled at me. "Misha, This is Dmitri, he is with the Montreal Ballet and he would like to take you on as a student."
"Miss Olga" as we called her was not one for small talk. Always right to the point.
"He wants..." I looked from one to the other.
Dmitri offered his hand. "Misha, I have watched you, and Olga has told me about you. You see you are very good for your age but you are being wasted her training with girls. Miss Olga has suggested that you come train at my studio."
At the time I was the only boy in my group.
"I don't know... my parents... "
Dmitri put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. "Of course, we must talk to your parents but I think they will agree it is for the best. You need to learn the steps and moves that make a man in the ballet. Miss Olga can take you no further, so she called me to see if I think you have possibility.
He turned me to face him and ran his hands down my sides. He then slid his hands up and down both legs right from my crotch to my knees. "You have a good build; you are lithe and seem to be strong. You have great legs. I would like to work with you."
I was still pre-pubescent at that point...about eleven and a half years old. While the feel of his hands on my body certainly felt... well, nice. At that point it didn't do anything sexual for me. That was yet to come.
That evening Dmitri and Olga showed up at our home. Miss Olga had already called Mum and told her what they were hoping for me. I think the fact that Dmitri lived on the South Shore (the south shore of the St Lawrence River off the Island of Montreal) like we did was a selling point. He said he would take me on for the same fee that we were paying to Olga. (By this time I had a paper route and all my income from that was going to my lessons. It wasn't much but I know my folks appreciated it.)
So, it was with some excitement the following week that I went to see Dmitri at his house. He had a studio set up in a large converted and insulated garage. For this first lesson though we met in his office in the house. He wanted to lay out for me what we were going to do. He wanted to see what my body could already do. He took me to a large bathroom with my leotards and asked me to change, only he didn't leave.
I was a little shy but he simply smiled and said it was ok he just wanted to see my body without anything hiding it... So that he would know how it moved.
As I stripped, he walked around me, touching my arm or back, making notes at first in a little book. Then we went out into his living room and he had me strike poses, still in the nude still making notes and I think sketching me. Finally, he had me relax. He sat down in an arm chair and had me stand in front of him.
As he had at Miss Olga's he ran his hands down my body. "Beautiful " he said "You are beautiful. You will wow them on stage" He brushed his hand over my penis which was just hanging there, as I say I was still not sexual. "You have not changed yet?" he asked.
My brow must have furrowed because he smiled again and said "I guess not, you have not hair here yet and you let me touch you without any response. That will come and then we will have to be careful because you will suddenly start to grow and nothing that is now will be the same again... You will have to learn to balance your body all over again. But I will help you." As he spoke, I noticed that he was holding my penis. "this will grow too" he said softly as if to himself, releasing it. "Now get into your leotards and I will show you the studio and we will do some exercises."
The next few weeks I went faithfully twice a week to my lessons. One day was a personal lesson and the second was a joint lesson with several other boys. Dmitri was always good to me. He was a great teacher. I really liked him. I loved the way he would guide my body, he would with his hands show me where my legs should be, how I should hold my hands. He would not just tell me he would show me. He was a very physical man. Still for me it was not sexual at all and he made no overt advances on me but in retrospect he probably didn't have to, I didn't deny him any access to me. I didn't back away when he touched me. I never thought anything of it when he would "accidentally" would touch my genitals. I was a true innocent.
Then it all changed. Boy did it change!
One night after a rather intense session, Dmitri had taken me through some very difficult maneuvers. He and I had danced together to make it work. We had danced very closely. As we did, I noticed for the first time that I was feeling something strange inside me as I looked into his brown eyes, and he into my eyes, he had smiled.
I noticed that I was for some reason sporting a rather uncomfortable "fullness" in the "tighty whities" that I always wore under my `tards. I noticed that day as we stepped away from each other that there seemed to be a rather large bulge in his front. I thought no more of it other than to mentally notice that it looked similar (though larger) but similar to what I was feeling and I wondered if he was feeling "full" down there too.
As I say it was later that night that things changed. I had noticed over the last week or two that some fine hair was sprouting around my penis and under my nose. I noticed that I was starting to have erections more frequently than I had ever had and they were more than just an "I gotta pee" erection. I had also begun to notice that Dmitri was a muscular man, that he had real nice brown eyes and I thought that his smile was real... I wasn't sure what it was but when he smiled at me, I felt funny, a deep down inside good kind of funny.
I went to bed early that night because I was exhausted. I fell asleep almost right away. I became aware of the studio. I saw Dmitri, beckoning me in. He was naked (though you know how it is with dreams you know something though you don't actually see anything. I didn't see any penis I just knew he was naked and he was beautiful) The music started and we danced together the routine that we had practiced that day. It was wonderful. I could feel the heat of his body against mine. He was smiling at me.
The music stopped but Dmitri still held me and then he leaned forward and kissed me. That was all. I felt as if my groin was exploding as our lips touched, I woke with a start my penis was pulsing and feeling amazing. As I reached down, I felt something wet and sticky. Had I peed myself? No this was something else... it was sticky. I involuntarily brought my fingers to my mouth and tasted the stuff. It actually didn't have much of a taste to it but I liked it. I dropped off to sleep again. In the morning I had a job trying to peel my dried "cummed" underwear off me.
The next night I had the same dream again, with the same results. This time I ate more of the fluid. I woke early enough to catch some of it in my hand.
The next day was another lesson, but it was a lesson with the other boys. I had thought about what was happening to me and it dawned on me that when Dmitri asked me "Have you changed yet?" This is what he was talking about. For some reason I knew I wanted to tell him.
I got to the studio early. I was usually a little earlier that most of the other kids. I greeted Dmitri who smiled and greeted me. "Misha hi there so good to see you."
I thought me knees were going to buckle. Those eyes and that smile. I went to the change room to change into me `tards. He followed me in.
"How are you? I worked you pretty hard on Tuesday. Were you stiff.?"
"Yeah, but I'm ok now." I replied
I know he was watching me as I stripped to my underwear. "Dmitri, when I first started taking lessons from you, you asked me if I had changed yet"
He looked at me as he thought about what I had said. "Yes" he said "but you had not yet"
"No" I said "But I have now Dmitri" I looked into his face. "I think that I am changing now."
His face blanched and then blushed. "I... uh... How do you know?"
"I was suddenly a little embarrassed. "Well", I started slowly. " The other night..." just then one of the other boys, Nate came through the door.
Dmitri put his hand on my shoulder "We can talk after the lesson" He said softly. Then he winked, something that he had never done. That wink went right to me crotch I remember.
"Okay" I replied, smiling weakly.
The lesson went for what seemed be hours. It wasn't all bad however, Dmitri used me as his example for all the moves that he wanted us to try. It meant that he had his hands on my, my legs, my torso a whole lot more that normal. I felt every finger touch, every movement that he made along my young body. My body was all aquiver every time he touched me. I know that he noticed because he would smile.
I didn't know what the wink had to do with our talking later but I had strong suspicions because of the subject matter that I brought up that there was going to more than just talk.
When the lesson finally ended Dmitri dismissed us, but then called me back as if to talk to me. He put is arm around me and we walked to the far end of the studio. "Just wait till everyone is done ... take your time changing ... don't actually change... we will talk when everyone has gone."
He turned me to look into his face. "It is good that you told me that you have changed Misha... I am very happy. We can adjust your training and well we will talk about all of it in a few minutes." With that he dismissed me to the change room
Some of the kids wanted to know what we had talked about. I just told them that Dmitri wanted to adjust my training a bit. Then we just talked... I lagged behind the kids and was still not half begun to change before the last of them left.
After they had gone Dmitri came in and told me to gather my clothes and come to the house with him. "We will talk there, Misha"
I followed him to the house. He was still in his training clothes and I could see the muscles flexing under his shirt as he walked the short distance ahead of me.
He led me to his study where he had talked to me that first session. "So my Misha you say you are changing. I haven't examined you since you first came to me. I think that I should see what is happening then" He looked at me smiling with a questioning look on his face.
I nodded
"So, take your clothes off my dear boy and tell me what happened that you wanted to tell me while I examine you."
As I started to remove my clothes, my skin tight top and my leotards, I was achingly aroused. I told him about my dreams.
"Ah yes you had a wet dream, what was it about?"
"Well ... Well uh it was about me and ..." I looked at him. I know I was blushing. "It was about you and me" I almost whispered.
Dmitri smiled softly "I see" was all he said.
He was standing in front of me just gazing at me as I disrobed. I had done this for Dmitri before but he had never done anything with me other than to comment on my build and how I looked and was developing as a dancer. I considered this time as no more than that, except that I was extremely aroused, something that had not happened to me before.
As my penis was released and sprang out, standing straight out in all its 4.5 or 5 inch glory, I heard Dmitri gasp. "Ah yes, he said softly his voice quivering a bit. You have changed. Very nice my dear Misha, it is beautiful"
I was now shaking; I don't know why. He came close and folded me in his arms in hug. "Come with me my dear Misha It is beautiful my dear boy, you dreamed about me. It is as it should be". He led me upstairs to his bedroom. He held me close as we went up the stairs. "It will be alright my love" he whispered.
I will never know why I didn't question what we were doing. I just knew I was going with him and he, whatever he was going to do would be alright.
In the bedroom, he did what I wanted to ask him to do, he undressed and I saw his magnificent manhood. He was so much bigger than me. It was beautiful. I knew as soon as it appeared, I wanted to touch it, I wanted it in my possession. Dmitri was a tall muscular man, not muscle bound. No. He was perfectly proportioned. His chest was covered with a mat of dark hair that thinned out to a trail of hair that led down to another bush of hair around his member.
"You... you are beautiful!" I struggled for breath as I saw the perfect man that stood before me.
Dmitri walked over to me and cupped my face in his hands and kissed me lightly on the lips. It was exquisite. I moaned at the touch of his lips on mine. He again took me in his arms, pressing his lips firmly on mine. When I felt his tongue against my lips I opened to it and was soon doing an erotic dance my tongue with his. I no longer was aware of reality. I thought I felt myself being gently lifted and laid on the bed. Dmitri joined me I know. The next thing that I was truly aware of was something warm and wet sliding down on my penis. Dmitri was sucking me off. I involuntarily grabbed his head groaning out my pleasure. "ohnnn Dmitri. Yes Ohnnn Yesssss!!!" A violent orgasm overwhelmed me. My hips bucked up ramming my penis deeper into his mouth if that was possible. I lay there panting when it was all over. Dmitri lay down beside me gathering me into his arms.
"There my love, my Misha that is why I was asking if you had changed yet... my Misha"
I snuggled into him. As I lay there my free hand gently caressed his chest then belly. He quietly took my hand and placed it on his hard penis. "Here is what you are looking for my boy" I curled my fingers around it. It felt so big, so hot in my hand. I sat up to look at it.
It was so beautiful. There was a large bead of clear precum on the tip. I disentangled my self from Dmitri's arms and knelt beside him. I leaned forward and took the tip of his penis in my mouth sucking and licking the precum off. From that first taste, that first feel of the texture of his organ, I knew I needed it deep inside my mouth. I licked my lips and slid my mouth over it. Dmitri groaned "Oh Misha yes take it, take it all my boy"
As it hit the back of my throat, I gagged but Dmitri gasped his encouragement on. I backed off a bit and started to work the flesh that was sliding over my tongue. It was incredible. Words fail me even today to describe the exquisiteness, the amazing beauty that overwhelmed my body as my tongue swirled around his member. It was a sense of wanting more even though I had it all. It was a need to be closer to him, wanting all of him. It was an indescribable urgency.
I must have been doing something right because Dmitri was groaning out loud and clawing at me as I made love to his swollen member. Then suddenly he was frantically trying to remove himself from me.
"Misha!" He cried, "I'm going to..."
It was too late. My mouth suddenly filled with a hot fluid. I felt his penis suddenly swell even more than it was and begin to throb and pulse. At first, I didn't quite know what to do but then I swallowed, and swallowed as fast as I could continuing to suck hard on him. Dmitri was sobbing his ecstasy "Oh Misha, Misha, Oh my dear Misha"
We lay together in each other's arms for sometime in the afterglow of what had happened.
We kissed and I said "I am your Misha, and you are my Dmitri"
He smiled and kissed me deeply, our tongues tasting each other and the mixed seed we had shared.
After a bit he got up. "I must get you home your mother will be wondering where you got to."
We got dressed, I called my mother to tell her I would be a bit late, and we left. I held Dmitri's hand as he drove. I was so in love.
Over the next four or five years we often ended practice in bed together. He was always gentle and loving to me. But it would never have the intensity and passion of that first time.
Epilogue:
Dmitri led me to my career in the Ballet. I'm sure that he got me a number of breaks in the Montreal Company where I eventually found my first placement.
It was during my first year with the Montreal Ballet that Dmitri went out west, taking a teaching position in the school of ballet in Vancouver. I often visited with him for some time but then as things happen our visits became fewer and fewer. I found another love and I'm sure that so did Dmitri but he would forever be my first love.
I know that some reading this would say that he took advantage of me a young boy. They would say that he was a pedophile. That he sexually abused me. I can imagine that if it were ever to be tried in the courts of law it might be seen as those things. But I never rejected him, I wanted him, I as in love with him from that very first time. I believe that sometimes it happens that a man and a boy meet and it is love. The man neither forces himself on the boy nor does the boy suffer fear or any of the emotional trauma that results from the other abuse cases that we hear about. I believe that was the case with Dmitri and I.
He was my Dmitri and I was his Misha.