What If

By Mike Yonge (Mikel Yonge)

Published on Apr 7, 2006

Gay

DISCLAIMER: This is a story out the fantasy that is my mind. It is a story that deals with homosexual material. If you live in a jurisdiction that by some law or reason prohibits you from reading this material then please do not read any further. If homosexual material like this offends you then you should stop reading as well.Though frankly if homosexual material offends you I can't understand why you would be here in the first place.

The following is a list of other stories that I have written and posted in Nifty.org

Title Category Date

Joes-Bar Beginnings 07-Nov-02 Arthur and Joe Beginnings 03-Apr-03 Tour Guide AdultYouth 15-Apr-03 Brother Pat AdultYouth 07-Nov-02 Father Greg AdultYouth 15-Apr-03 JeffryandJason AdultYouth 18-Jul-05 Of Gord and John Beginnings 29-Aug-05 Sons of Seth and Cain Celebrity 24-Oct-05 Ham Celebrity 28-Oct-05 Aaron and Zaph Historical 14-Nov-05 What If\Ralph Adult Friends 02-Dec-05 What If\The Reverend Adult Friends 06- Dec-05

The copyright of this material is mine, subject to the agreement under this website. I trust that you will enjoy reading the stories as much as I have enjoyed writing them.

If you have any comments to pass on, I would very much like to have them. You can write me at: myonge@hotmail.com

Mike

INTRODUCTION TO THE SERIES: Oh to be young again: Have you ever wondered what life would have been like if at any particular time things had turned out differently? As I grow older I find my self wondering more and more what would have happened if I had done this instead of that and so on.

I think we can all look back over our lives and point to specific times or incidents that were turning point moments in our lives. They were times that we were put in the position to make a decision to go one way or another. And we wonder 'Had things turned out differently or if we or others had made different choices in our lives how would have turned out?' Who knows how they might have turned out? But is certainly a source of much fantasy

I can think of several situations, incidents and choices that I made at various different times in my life, that had I moved in a different manner or responded differently or chosen to pursue a specific, or different course of action, things would have turned out much differently than the place I find myself in today.

That is what this series is about. What could have happened?

Chapter 3 The Gym:

My eldest brother was forever handing out advice to all of us about what we should or should not be doing. He was for ever on my case to get involved in "things", sports, anything. Anything that he thought worthwhile, not necessarily that I thought worthwhile.

(Author's note: One time my brother actually applied in my name to a local trade school because he said later "You're not smart enough to go to University so you might as well get a trade") This story is a take on some of my brother's antics, and what might have been.

What could I have been thinking to let my brother talk me in to this stupidity? My oldest brother once again decided to enrol me in something on my behalf. This time he decided that I needed some exercise. He had been on my case for sometime because, I admit, I was painfully skinny. I wasn't anorexic, I loved to eat and I hated throwing up so bulimia was also not the problem. I was just very skinny, tall and thin. I was 6 foot tall and 135 lbs soppin wet.

I was also not into things like sports or anything remotely associated to sports. He had tried to get me interested in baseball but I am left handed and we didn't know about right handed gloves back then. So in order to catch and throw I would have to catch with my left hand, pass the ball to my right hand drop the glove pass the ball back to my left hand and throw the ball and then put the glove back on. You could get a home run off of me on a grounder at that rate. A lot of fuss for something I wasn't the least bit interested in. Then of course (we lived in Quebec that's why "of course") there was hockey, but as a hopeless ankle skater he soon gave up on me for that.

However this time, not to be gainsaid or defeated he got some money and signed me up for a month at a local gym... local meaning I had to either go after school on my way home or take an hour and a half bus ride on the weekends to go to this place. You have to understand back then in the 60s gyms didn't abound. The gyms that did exist always gave me the impression of something to do with the underworld. They often came across as dirty grungy places that no self respecting person would go to.

Never the less good ole brother Max decided that for my own good I would go. Somehow he even convinced my mother that since the money had been spent I should at least go for the month that he had bought for me. So one Saturday morning with Max I entered in to a rather run down looking building about four blocks from my high school. The gym itself was in the basement. We were greeted by a sweaty beefed up guy who introduced himself with a heavy French accent as Pierre. (Pronounced Pee- ire with a bit of a roll in the back of the throat on the r). (I should tell you this was on the South Shore across the river from Montreal). My brother introduced me and told him that I had a membership for the month. Pierre looked me over and smiled. I got the impression his smile was more of a smirk trying to suppress outright gales of laughter. "Ok" he said holding out his hand to me which I took and had my hand crushed. "I 'elp you, you get muscle when I 'elp "

"Great" said Max with a grin, with that he took off telling me he would see me back home.

Pierre showed me around his hand on my shoulder as he pointed out the weights and described in broken English what I would be doing. There were not the weight machines that we see all over the place today. There were an assortment of loose weights, bar bells etc and a couple workout benches and that was about all. There was a small change/locker room with a bank of lockers, a couple showers and a washroom and that was it.

There were a couple other guys doing some weights when we arrived . one guy's arms were bigger than my waist. I was so embarrassed and would just as soon have gone home with Max but I was here and Pierre was leading me around. He introduced me to the guys, whose names I don't even remember. I didn't see them a whole lot because once I started, their hours at the gym were different from mine. I figure Pierre said something to them about my scrawny "90 lb weaklingness" because the three of them laughed. I just grinned stupidly.

Pierre then led me to the change room and told me to change and come out when I was ready and he would get me started on some exercises to see what I could and couldn't do. I could have told him but he had to see for himself it seemed. I didn't have anything to wear other than my gym shorts and t- shirt from school which is what I put on.

I came out of the change room totally embarrassed and all the more when I saw them and two new comers all eyeing me up and down and then looking at each other with snickers. I wanted to run. But Pierre came to my rescue. "It's ok dey were all like you too, we make you good and you keep coming oui (yes in French)?"

I nodded not knowing what else to do. With his arm over my shoulder again he led me to a corner of the training room and there showed me several warm up exercises to work at for the first ten minutes. Having given me those instructions he patted me on the shoulder and left me to tend to a couple of the other guys. He actually had made me feel a little better about myself at least the confidence to try these few exercises.

After about ten or fifteen minutes he called me over to a stand with a number loose weights "Michel, vien'cit luh" ('vien'cit' is colloquial abbreviation for 'viens ici" meaning 'come here'. 'luh' (not sure how you would spell it really) is some thing that seems to be added to many sentences by French Canadians). Pierre always called me Michel even though I was enrolled as Mike.

Once I got there he showed me different exercise that he wanted me to start with. We had to try different weight before we got something that I could manage and just a little bit more to make my muscles such as they were, work. Pierre was a hands on trainer, I noticed that he was always touching me and not just telling me how to do something bit physically showing me. At one point I was lying on my back on a bench with some weights (I think they were only about five pounds ). He had me reach straight out with the weights behind my head and slowly lift them. As I did that I felt his hand on my belly. He was showing me how my belly was tight as I did the exercise. As I continued his hand moved down to my lower abdomen. "You see" he said softly even down 'ere she is tight" I nodded and I struggled even with the smallest weights. However as I felt his hand down there I hoped that he didn't notice that something else was also getting "exercised"

A couple more repeats and he said still softly "bon" I sat up relieved to be able to hide what I knew was a rather healthy erection. Where my other musculature was nothing to write home about I was not unendowed in the manly muscle. Not huge but not tiny either. As I sat up he put his hand on my leg and grinned at me. "Very. how you say uh. good, nice" he gave me some more instructions and told me to do the three routines he had taught me in sets of 10 with three repeats and the I would be done for the day.

I was mildly aroused the rest of the session even though he was helping the other guys. I noticed that he was also somewhat hands on with them as well but I didn't think it was as much as it was with me. He talked in the same low soft voice with them as well. I did the routines he had taught me. I could already feel the effects of the exercise that my body was not used to. I would find out all about it the next morning when my entire body was stiff and sore.

When I was done I went over to him and told him. "Bon, that is enough for today. you take shower and get dress' and we talk about when you come again." He reached up and patted my belly form where he was crouching down beside the "huge" guy, and smiled at me. The smile and pat sent shock waves right through my body and into my groin area.

I could feel my self blushing and turned immediately and went to the change room. The showers were two cubicles. One was taken up and one of the other guys was undressing and getting ready to enter the other. Obviously this was first come first serve. I smiled at the guy and went to my locker and started to undress as I waited for the other shower to be freed up. I couldn't help but look at the man beside me, but then I think all guys do that, straight or otherwise. At that point in my life I was not sure what I was yet, I think I was hoping I was straight but fearing I was gay.

It was scary time for me. I was heavily involved in the local Baptist Church Young Peoples. I was also involved in the IVCF (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship) in High School. I couldn't be a homosexual it was impossible! Homosexuals were people that hated God and that was why God allowed them to become homosexual. I loved God and my Saviour Jesus Christ and so therefore by that logic and a total misunderstanding of Romans 1: 18ff I could not possibly be gay.

So what on earth was I doing having an erection when the trainer touched me? Why was I so fascinated by the male body?

As I sat there waiting, naked, Pierre came in to the change room and sat down beside me. He just started talking to me as though I was totally dressed. He asked when I could come in to the gym. I told him when School was finished and I would most days be able to come by about 4:00, except on Tuesday when I had my club at school (I didn't tell him what the club was) He nodded that said 5:00 would be good. He finished at six on weekdays or at least he went home then. He had an employee that took over for him from six to nine.

As he talked he casually put his hand on my leg just above the knee. I had covered myself enough with my towel before he came in.

He asked me where I lived. I told him in the Croyden part of St Hubert.

He smiled. "I live near dere too. I live close to the Airport"

"Really?" I said

"Oui" I could see he was thinking of something . "On Tuesday if you like to come to the gym after club I could take you 'ome?" that was said with as a question with some sense of "I would like you to do that" in his voice.

Not knowing what else to do I said "Ok"

He grinned and squeezed my leg and with a swift movement just stroked about half way up my thigh before getting up. The guy in the shower came out and I was able to take my turn.

When I got home about an hour and a half later, the actual time on the bus on weekdays and not rush hour time, was only about a half hour but on weekends they combined routes and waiting time included it could take well over an hour to get home from the gym. At rush hour well it just took a long time. I wasn't really looking forward to that part of this stupid thing that Max had gotten me into.

But as I thought about it I had actually enjoyed myself, Pierre was a nice guy, he hadn't laughed at me, other than making a few comments about my weight, and thinness. But he had been nice with me, shown me some easy exercise to do that he promised would make a big difference that within a month I would see. He was also a very nice looking man. He was of course well built, but he had a gorgeous face, and amazing brown eyes what when I looked into them would make me feel like I was melting. I have always been a face man and one that loves brown eyes.

I found the rest of the weekend I was actually looking forward to Monday after school. So Max was vindicated unfortunately because I had to tell him that I wanted to continue going. actually I didn't say that in so many words but I told him what I was going to do and how Pierre had promised to take me home on Tuesdays when I would be going later. (as it turned out later I started staying longer helping out with little odd jobs, and Pierre took me home all the time.)

Mum only cautioned me about my homework. I told her not to worry (as it was I rarely did my homework anyway). I think that both she and Max were pleased that I was going through with it though.

On Monday afternoon I got to the gym as quickly as I could. As I walked in I was greeted by one of the jocks from school, Jeff someone, who looked me up and down and told me to, "get lost this ain't no gym for losers." I backed away but said "I paid to be here. I can be here."

He stepped up to me and getting in my face snarled "I said there is no room for you here"

Behind him Pierre was heard to say "And I am de one that decides who stay', 'E pay' 'E stay', if you don' like, you go"

Pierre grinned at me as I went to the change room. Jeff came in after me and sat beside me as I got my stuff out to change. He pushed my stuff on the floor, "You scrawny chickenshit, you won't last. You'll be out of here by the end of the week. You'll never handle this, this place is for real men"

I was scared and didn't say anything but got changed anyway and went out. Jeff made some comment about "beanpole" and "weakling" to some of the other guys as I came out. Pierre told him to shut his mouth and told me to do my warm-ups and then to move on to the free weights. Jeff was not to be silenced though and made some comment later about the small weights I was trying to lift.

Pierre in a loud voice called across the gym to Jeff. "What weight you start with smartass?"

Jeff didn't say anything but only looked at Pierre, he looked a little confused as though he was wondering why Pierre was protecting me the "90 lb weakling"

"Yeah" continued Pierre "when you first came 'ere I 'ad to put you on two an' 'alf pound. So shut you mout', we all start small and work up. Michel will do fine"

That was the end of it. I did my routine and took my shower without further incident. As I was about to leave Pierre reminded me about the next day and coming later. I said I would. I actually felt sore but good and was really thinking I would like this. Little did I know that Tuesday night would add a whole new dimension to my life.

The next day we had our club meeting, we always enjoyed ourselves sang some songs, had a short bible study usually on some timely topic for highschool students. This afternoon though my mind didn't seem to be on the meeting and my "girlfriend" at the time and some of the others at the meeting made mention that I didn't seem to be there. My mind was on the gym actually . I laughed it off and when the meeting ended I left. I had already told my girl friend I would not be taking the "late" school bus home because I was going to the gym.

Let me tell you when the young peoples group and the Pastor found out on the Sunday night, that I was going to a gym, the news was not exactly accepted with great favour. The Pastor suggested that I should reconsider. "You know what those places are like" and "You know what kind of guys hang out in gyms" There were suggestions that I was in danger of getting into drugs and who knows what all. There was also the "Good Christian boys don't go to places like that" comments. As I said earlier the local Gym was not exactly the place that 'good boys' went to. Gyms were considered to be on the same level and attracting people from the same social class as you would find in a Pool Room. And to some extent that was probably true.

At any rate I had made up my mind and I had promised that I would at least stick it out for the month that was paid for. Not to mention that Jeff had challenged me that I wouldn't last the week. So with disapproval written on my friends faces I took off down the street to the gym. When I got there shortly after 5:00 most of the high school guys were coming out of the gym. Jeff met me at the door. "Ha" he said "I thought you were going to chicken out loser"

I looked him in the face and just said "Nope" and pushed past him and down the stairs to the gym. After the last of the students left there were actually no other people left in the gym. It would be only Pierre and me. He greeted me from across the room and joined me in the change room, chatting about what he was going to have me do. He talked about a diet he wanted me to take as part of the routine. I wasn't sure if my mum would be much in favour of that but Pierre had written something up for me and told me to take it home and try it. He watched as I changed. It made me warm all over as he chatted on. The thought that he was looking at me made me feel strangely . good. disturbingly, strangely good. Maybe what the pastor was warning me of had some truth to it, or maybe the fact that I who never did anything even remotely questionable was doing something that my friends thought to be morally reprehensible. What ever it was I was actually feeling a bit excited... and aroused

I was stripped down to my briefs and reached for my shorts when Pierre touched my arm. "you don't take your underwear off ?"

I sort of the shrugged and pulled my mouth in the way that a person might when asked about something they had never thought of before.

"Take them off Michel it feel a lot better in your shorts. there is a lining in your shorts no?"

He stood up and pulled his track pants down a bit. "You see I don't have underwears either, feels nice you see"

The way he pulled the top of his track pants down I got a quick look at the widening of the hairy trail that leads down from the chest and belly of some guys. I was not endowed with a whole lot of body hair above my waist but I did know what I was looking at and what was under those track pants at least as far as hair was concerned. I found myself again trying to stifle a burgeoning erection. I stood up and shed my underwear and put on my gym shorts.

I heard him chuckle as I dropped my underwear. "Well that is one muscle you don't have to worry about being too small"

I blushed beet red, I know it. He laughed. "Oh Michel you are too. 'ow you say it? Too worry about what people tink." He cocked his head as though asking if that was what he meant. He continued, "you don't have to be afraid of dat. You have a very nice cock, nicer that Jeff's little one" He laughed "He all talk dat guy, but not so big."

I by now had my shorts on and was going for my T-shirt when he stopped me and said "Forget the shirt. I want to see what your muscle' are doing today."

It was a great session I had him all to myself and he showed me a number of things I could do to build myself up. If nothing else I found that my confidence was being bolstered by this man. He never called me down about my size and certainly his comment about my penis and Jeff's actually made me smile to myself. It was the feeling you get when you know something about a person but they don't know you know and would never want you to know. A sort of a self satisfying feeling of having something over that person.

It was almost six when Pierre said "Enough for now. We take shower and I take you 'ome. Jean-Luc will come soon"

We walked to the change room together. Pierre had his arm over my shoulder as we walked. "So how you like so far?" he asked

"I like it very much Pierre, I didn't think I would, but I like it. I said enthusiastically and then I added "I like the way you help me too, I was afraid you would laugh at me because I am so skinny"

He drew me into a sidewise hug "Ah I was even skinnier than you when I started to work out.. OH!" he stopped "I forget, I want to measure you, you know your muscles, weight. We do dat now and den we shower. He led me to a small room just off the change room. There was a scale. the kind you find in the doctor's office only not the white and chrome type.

"First your weight, take your shorts off, no clothes only you" he laughed making light of the blush I no doubt had on my face. "I see it all before don't worry."

He weighed me "Mon dieu Cent Trente Sept. (137). You need to put on some poids. pound"

"Ok dat's ok. We fix dat too." He said as I stepped off the scale and he grabbed a measuring tape. He smiled at my now full erection . I didn't know where to look "Ha!" he said laughing " I tink 'e want to be measure firs."

Before I could respond he had my penis in his hand which only cause my heart to pump that much more blood in to it. He deftly measured along the top. "Sept pouce et demi, very nice, and you are not cut but the skin pull back nice" he nodded and smiled up at me. "almost big like me mon chum" he let go and took some other measurements my legs, thighs, arms chest waist and hips, marking them all down on a chart that he had made up from me.

"Good now at end of month we measure again and you will see you not so skinny nomore." He grinned and looked down at my penis again. "I don' tink 'e will growing much more but dat is ok. 'E is big enough for me. I 'ave some exercise for 'im dat I tink we should try. Now we shower"

We went to the change room just in time to hear Jean-Luc coming down the steps. Pierre called out as I ducked in to one of the shower cubicles to hide my raging hardon. This man had taken more liberties with me than anyone had ever done. What scared me the most was that I quite enjoyed his attention. I knew I shouldn't but I did. My mind was running over his comment about what exercises he might have for my penis, I was already masturbating and suffering the guilt over that. What was he talking about?

I showered as Pierre and Jean Luc chatted just outside my shower stall. I then heard "Bon, d'accord, j'vais en shower" (Good OK I'm going to shower) I heard the shower in the next stall start up. I finished and got out to dry and dress.

I was just finishing drying when Pierre turned off his shower and stepped out to join me in drying. My first response I think was that my jaw dropped. I had seen before that like the hair on his head he clearly had a good patch of black hair on his chest. But what I saw as he stepped out of the shower in all his glory was that that hair was not just a mass of black hair covering him but it grew in such a way as to marvellously define his chest. Then from his chest it thinned out to a finer dusting over his belly with a well defined trail of black down the center to a large patch that crowned a penis that was clearly larger than mine as he had intimated. It was semi hard as he stepped out to face me

He looked me over and grinned at me, "Yah I like." He said. The sight of him had given me a rapidly rising erection again. I quickly turned my face but I was sure that he has caught me looking. We continued to dry and dress without further comment other than his short laugh as he saw me being quite embarrassed.

Moments later we said good bye to Jean-Luc and I was sitting in Pierre's car. He turned to me as he started the ignition "You know Michel, you know dat I like you? I like you de firs' time you walk in on Saturday wit' you brodder. I tink that you and I are de same, we like de same tings yes? " He tilted his head to one side in question. He put a hand on my upper leg and raised an eyebrow and smiled again. "You maybe don't know it yet but I tink I am right"

I know I blushed and he laughed that soft short laugh again "I embarrass you" he gave my thigh a squeeze and put the car in gear leaving me to ponder what he was obviously suggesting. That his touch and the sight of his body certainly excited me and I know that I wanted to see it again and couldn't wait till the following Tuesday when that opportunity would avail itself. but . "ohhhnnn man" I thought "This is so wrong, this can't be right I have a girl friend!! I'm a Christian!! This is so wrong so why am thinking about this man and getting an erection as I do"

The next thought that crossed my mind startled me abit. "You never get an erection thinking about your girl friend!" What could that mean? Of course I wouldn't feel that way toward my girl friend I am a Christian! I'm not s'posed to have feelings like that until we are married. The reasoning was there , the logic was out in space somewhere and it struck me that if I actually did feel something for her more than friendship then I should be getting erections and everything that went with that. But I didn't . however I did when it came to guys! What a revelation! I had an epiphany! "Could it be that I was gay" It was more of a statement then a question in my thoughts. Mind you with my fundamentalist background this was not a good epiphany, but there it was.

I was in a car with a man that had no doubt made a pass at me and expressed very clearly that he was very interested in what was hanging between my legs. I was terrified because I knew that I was also very interested in what I had seen between his legs. I had never been remotely interested in what my girlfriend might be like down there, but this man? Oh yes what I had seen made me very interested indeed.

So what was I to do? I was almost certain that Pierre was going to continue to pursue me. I knew I would be disappointed if he didn't. As those thoughts crossed my mind I knew that I was going to be with him and that if he offered I would probably not be able to stop him showing me those exercises that he thought I would like"

By this point my cock was hard as rock and I had to adjust myself in he seat. Pierre looked over at me. "You ok mon chum?"

I smiled at him, my fear was actually gone. It had been replaced by a sense of high excitement of what could be mine with this man. "I'm fine Pierre.. I uh. I'm really glad you are driving me home."

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Ah c'est mon plaisir" he reached over and patted my leg. I jumped a little but smiled at him. He left his hand there.

I brought my hand to touch his and traced the veins that were showing prominently there. "Your veins really stand out " I said

He smiled at me and squeezed my thigh as he had done earlier. I almost came right there and then. A half hour ago I would have been terrified but now with my new found light into what and who I was this about as exciting in a way that I had only ever experienced in a wet dream I had had. I wanted to have this man. I squeezed his hand.

"Do you live in a house?"

"Yes and no" he laughed "I live in a house but it is not my house, I live in an apartment in the house, in the basement"

"Is it a big apartment?"

Beeg enough for me. I have eveyting I need, like a one bedroom apartment wit kitchen and batroom you know?"

I nodded

"You want to see?" he asked

I looked over at him, I was feeling very hot. His hand was still on my thigh and my hand was still on his. "Yeah Pierre I want to see" I squeezed his hand again. I think it was involuntary but as I did he turned his hand over and took mine and held it. I saw and he had a smile on his face as we drove along in silence for several minutes.

He had to turn at a major intersection but rather than taking his hand right away to make the turn, he brought my hand to his leg, quite high up his leg. Then leaving it there turned his attention to navigating the car around the corner. I turned my had over and as he ad done with me I squeezed his thigh. As he had straightened the car out again and was heading down as street I had never been on before his hand came back on top of mine, on his leg.

"She is just down 'ere" he said Taking his hand away again. A couple more blocks and couple more turns and he pulled into a driveway. It was a typical bungalow of the era. He took me to the back door and we went down stairs. One half of the basement had been converted to his apartment. It was a self contained unit.

When he closed the door. He turned to me. "So Michel, I tink it is more dan dee apartement dat you want to see no?" I nodded suddenly feeling quite shy. He pulled me to him and kissed me. The touch of his lips, the first man to ever kiss me, on mine quickly followed by the probing of his tongue, left my knees buckling.

All I could do was moan my pleasure as I leaned back against the door to prop myself up.

I guess neither of us heard the footsteps coming down the stairs because both of us jumped as there was knock at the door. Pierre directed me quickly to the kitchen and called "Un Moment"

He opened the door to the landlady, who gave him his mail. He said something to her and she responded and I heard the door close. "I know she want to come in and see 'oo I bring 'ere. She is so nosy" he shook his head "I need find anudder place"

He then as though nothing had just happened between us led me around the apartment. When we came to the bedroom, he smiled at me, "dis is where I tink we do some exercise yes?" he laughed. Then looking a bit more seriously "what time you have be home"

I looked at the clock beside the bed. It was already 6:30! I didn't want this to end. "I should call my mum and tell her I'll be home soon?" I had a question in the statement that he picked up on right away.

"Why not you tell 'er dat I give you supper 'ere and bring you 'home later"

Moments later "Mum? I'm over at Pierre's he is going to give me supper and drive me home later ok?

Mum didn't really like this because she liked to know where we were. And she wanted to make sire that we always kept up with our homework

"I won't be home too late mum , Pierre is going to go over some exercise program with me that he has here at his place. I don't have any homework tonight".

"Ok not later than 10:30?"

Pierre gave me a big grin and two thumbs up. When I hung up the phone he came to me and drew me into his embrace and we kissed deeply for some time. He led me to the bedroom. He went over to the window and pulled the curtain. "de kids dey look in, I got to move me" he laughed softly

I just stood still as Pierre slowly undressed me. I've never done anything like this Pierre" I said nervously.

There was not fear on my part but I was nervous about what he might be expecting from me. I was extremely aroused and so wanted him. When he had me completely naked be knelt down before me and drawing a loud gasp from me he slid my cock completely into his mouth. My knees completely buckled and I fell back on to the bed. "Oh man!" I said

"You like?" he grinned up at me.

I sat up and then stood. as did he. He gently took my cock into his hand. I started to undress him. It was easier with him. He only had a sweatshirt and a sweat pants on so he was quickly naked. This time I didn't shy away from looking at him. "You are so beautiful Pierre" I caressed his rich chest reveling in the feel of the hair and his hard nipples. He was truly a beautiful man. I gingerly took hold of his very erect member. It felt so good in my hand. I threw my head back and moaned as we stood there and slowly jerked each other off. At one point as I thought I couldn't hold back anymore he said in a whisper "come with me"

He led me to the bathroom. "We take a shower and I drink you and then you drink me. ok?"

I wasn't sure what he meant but it sounded good and I had an idea. He got the shower going and warmed up. He turned to kiss me and then he stepped in to the shower. He held me close as the warm water poured over us. There no doubt anymore about what I was doing. I was definitely into this guy to guy thing. I guessed I would sort out the God part of it later. Right now I wanted this man in every way that I could. I hoped that Pierre would insist on teaching me every thing.

Pierre smiled at me with his dreamy brown eyes and knelt before me again dragging his lips down my body as he went. My whole body shivered as he seemed to worship my body. The sensation of his lips on me and the water pouring over us was so erotic. When he came to his knees he once again slid my cock deep into his mouth. I leaned back against the shower stall and just let him take me with a groan that came from the very depths of my being. It was only seconds later that my hands were on his head and he was the recipient of a violent torrent of my cum I bit my lip not to scream out the incredible pleasure I was feeling. This was nothing like I had ever experienced before.

Pierre didn't lose a beat he kept right on sucking until I couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled off and with an impish grin on his face looked up with water splashing off his face said "you like?"

Words couldn't describe how I liked. I bent forward and our lips met. I helped him to his feet out lips not parting. I was soon tasting my own semen as his tongue delved deep in to my mouth dancing with mine.

It was my turn and as he had taught me I slowly lowered myself to the prize dragging my lips down his torso, till I felt his erect cock hit first my chest, then my chin then my lips. I looked up at Pierre's smiling expectant face and hoping I would do this right, I opened my mouth.

From the first sensation of the skin of the cockhead, the heat and texture of the sponginess on my tongue, I was hooked. I wanted the whole thing in my mouth. I licked my lips and slowly let him slide into me. I covered my teeth with my lips. I heard him groan so I figured what ever I was doing was ok. Myself? I was in heaven, I couldn't believe how good he felt and tasted in my mouth.

He put his hands on my head "Ohhnnnn mon cher Michel, quel plaisir tu me donne" he moaned.

I knew enough French to know that he was enjoying the same pleasure that my own cock was still tingling from. I kept sucking for probably a minute or so when suddenly his fingers gripped my head tight. Seconds later I felt his penis first swell some more and then start to pulse. The next thing I knew I was choking on a massive load of a warm sticky substance. It had a peculiar flavour to it. I started to gag and Pierre called to me to "swallow Michel swallow"

I started swallowing as fast as I could. Some of the semen was oozing out of the corners of my mouth and coughed out through my nose, but most went down my throat. Pierre was holding my head tight and groaning out loud. "ahhh Mon Dieu dat is so good mon cher"

His hot body, the hot water, the knowledge that my friends, my family and my Pastor would probably think that I was committing some heinous sin all combined to make this moment one of the most erotically exciting of my life. By the time that he stopped pumping his seed into my mouth and pulled me back up into his embrace, I was once again fully aroused.

We kissed and he turned off the shower. We dried each other off both of us each paying particular attention to the genital area. When we were done Pierre kissed me again and led me to the bedroom.

We lay down together, I lay with my head on his shoulder. We lay for sometime quietly just gently caressing each other. I was deep in my own thoughts, my mind was racing over what had just happened. What would it mean to me. My thoughts went to my faith and my friends, my family, "girl friend", the church, what would they think. As I thought about that I was also thinking that being here in Pierre's arms was so right. I had never felt so. so. that something, that indescribable something that this was right where I belonged, in the arms of a man, this man in particular.

Pierre just lay there also seeming to be in thought. He finally spoke softly "It is good mon Michel that you are 'ere, it is so nice not like wit a girl. Me I need a man, dat is the right ting for me"

He said it softly and so matter of factly. I knew he was speaking for both of us. I snuggled in closer if that was possible and just sighed "Yeah" We were one in spirit at that moment.

Pierre and I were close, actually almost inseparable for about a year and a half . For both of us it was our first love. Until I arrived that Saturday, Pierre had never been with another man. He told me later that he was trying to build up the courage to approach someone . anyone. Like me he was under the teaching of the church, in his case the Roman Catholic Church. He was afraid but like me found himself struggling with his attraction to and desire for men. He said there was something about me that he picked up almost immediately when I first arrived. The result was a year and a half that I will never forget, as we both learned together the joys of gay love and sex. That first time in his apartment solidified in both our minds that for us the only thing that was right was to be with another man, never a woman for us.

This all ended when I finished high school and went off to college in British Columbia that fall. We both knew it would happen and that it would be over. Did we love each other? There was no doubt. He still holds a special place in my heart. He was my first love, I will never forget him.

Toward the end of my last year in High School Jeff caught us in the locker room one night . Jeff was working weekends for Pierre at that time and had come in to get something. A couple days later a rumour was spread through the school that I was gay. Well a rumour like that is treated as fact whether it is or not. The rumour didn't include Pierre but we both knew that it had to be Jeff that started it, although he denied it when confronted.

Jeff had never really come to terms with me being at the gym. He clearly did not like it that Pierre seemed to favour me over him. As my body started to develop and the other guys would make comment about how well I was getting on, it seemed to irk Jeff. He was the jock and he was the one that should be getting all the attention.

I came out to my folks as soon as the rumour started spreading through school. They were actually cool about it. Mum without said that she already knew and that she knew about Pierre as well. This kind of shocked me at first but in retrospect, the amount of time I was spending with Pierre at the time it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

My brother was furious but both my parents and I made it clear there would be hell to pay if I heard that he had gone to Pierre and said or did anything to hurt him. By then I was "buff" enough that he knew I could do some serious damage.

The people at the Baptist church were not as cool about it and I was pretty much shunned once I came out. That was not that much of an issue for me as I was no longer going out with my "girl friend" anymore. My attendance at the church had become more and more sporadic as Pierre and I had become closer. I would often spend time with him on Sunday evenings rather than go to church and Young Peoples.

The Pastor had taken me aside and told me that I needed to give it up or I was on my way to Hell. Many of the fundamentalist churches have never understood what it is to be gay.

I saw Pierre a couple times after I went off to school. Over the years we continued to write and stay in contact. Since the advent of internet we email regularly.

A few years back he and his lover had about 6 fitness centres in the Montreal area that they sold off to a major franchise, for a healthy profit. They are now still living in the area and quite on the profits and investments of that sale. They often come to the West Coast to visit in the summers.

Me? I am happily married to my lover of 30 years. I met Charlie in school out in BC. We hit it off almost right from the beginning. After graduation we both found work in the same area and decided to pool our resources and live together. At the beginning neither of us thought that it would last as long as it has, but here we are. When the ban was lifted on gay marriage in Canada a couple years ago, we decided to find a justice of the peace and solemnized our vows with Pierre and Jean-Guy looking on as witnesses. Charlie and I are both retired now and living on Salt Spring Island.

Next: Chapter 4: The Runaway


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