If you've gotten this far, I'm going to assume that you're not breaking any laws by reading this. Any questions? If so, please read the disclaimer on the first installments. Also, remember this is fiction.
I've gotten a couple of emails from people that are frustrated at all the cliffhanger endings. But, if you're frustrated then I'm doing me job. Hehehe. My writing is influenced by all the soap operas I watch. It takes forever for things to happen, but along the way you learn a lot about the characters. I also try to foreshadow and put clues about what will happen in the future. So, if something doesn't quite add up, just wait and see.
I want to thank all the guys in 98 Degrees for sharing your talent with the world. I hope your break from performing and recording doesn't last too much longer. And a special thank you to Jase. I'll never forget what you did for me last week. I've never left more connected with someone before. I love you.
Take care and be good. - Thack
Thack98@mindspring.com
Scene 34
After I heard the crash in Nick and Drew's room I started pounding on the door. I was terrified that I had misread Nick. Judging by what Nick had shouted, Drew had just come out to him. His words were echoing in my mind.
"I'm your brother, damn it! Why didn't you tell me?"
It felt as though I was pounding on the door forever. Finally, I heard the deadbolt turn and the door opened. Nick was standing there, with rage filling his face.
I shoved Nick backwards, making him lose his balance. I don't think he expected me to do that because he just stood there, staring at me.
"Where is he?" I demanded.
Before Nick could answer I looked across the bedroom and saw the mess. A small table near the door to the living room was overturned. The floor was littered with broken dishes and spilled food.
"What the fuck did you do to him?" I screamed as I lunged towards Nick.
I reached out for Nick, although I really wasn't prepared to hit him. I'd never hit anyone before and I wasn't about to start. As I got within arms reach of him, Nick grabbed me by the shoulders. He tightened his grip, forcing me to stop and look at him.
"Me?" he said, almost laughing at my accusation. "I didn't do that. Drew is the one who lost it!"
My mind tried to process what Nick was telling me but it didn't make sense. I had assumed that Drew was the one on the defense, not his brother.
"But, I heard you yell," I stammered.
"Yeah, I was yelling because Drew was leaving. He wouldn't stay and talk to me."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jeff come in the room. Nick realized he was still holding me tightly by the arms and he let go.
"I'm just surprised, Alex," Nick said. "And I'm hurt that he didn't tell me sooner."
Before I could respond Jeff interrupted.
"Alex, can you go talk to Drew? I think he needs you. I'll stay here with Nick."
I nodded and turned to leave. Nick grabbed my arm again, although not as forcefully as before.
"Alex," he whispered. "This is not the same as what happened with Matt. I promise."
Heading to the living room, I prayed that he was right.
Scene 35
When I walked in the living room my heart sank. Drew was sitting on the couch, looking right at me. He looked like a scared, lost animal. He probably was in shock. He tried to smile at me but I saw a corner of his mouth start to shake as if he was about to cry.
"Come on," I said as I reached out and grabbed his hand. "We're going to get out of here for awhile."
He followed me without saying a word, still holding my hand. As we left the suite and started walking down the hallway we both heard voices approaching us from around the corner by the elevators. Reluctantly, Drew let go of my hand.
Once on the ground floor, I avoided the lobby and led Drew to a side door I had discovered the day before. We ended up at the end of the Boardwalk, right near a path next to the water. There was a slight breeze and the moon was bright but under the circumstances I knew Drew didn't notice. We walked for a while without saying anything.
"He loves you, you know," I said, finally breaking the silence.
"I know," he responded without thinking.
"This will work out," I said, trying my best to reassure him.
"Don't be so sure."
"Will you tell me what happened?"
Drew stopped walking and sat down on the lawn that lined the path. I sat down next to him and watched as he absentmindedly started picking blades of grass, trying to collect his thoughts.
"All day,' he began, "I was trying to come up with a reason why I'd be gone at dinner. Nick had it in his mind that he and I were going to go out. He said he wanted to do some family bonding. This afternoon at the autograph session, he cornered me and said he was worried about me. He said he felt as though I'd been avoiding him for the last couple of months." He paused and took a breath. "I mean, I have been but I didn't think he knew. He's so involved with Jess I didn't think he'd notice that I was keeping my distance. When I told him I couldn't go to dinner with him tonight he got a little angry with me. I felt bad for getting him upset but you came all this way to see me and I didn't want to disappoint you."
"Drew," I interrupted. "I never want to come between you and your brother. You have to know that."
"I do. But I really wanted to see you and tonight was the only chance we would have to be alone. I screwed that up, didn't I?"
"Don't worry about that, Drew."
I reached out and put my hand on his leg. He turned his head and I saw the moonlight shining in his hazel eyes. At the concert the night before his eyes were so full of life, but that night all I saw was pain and fear. It was a look I knew all too well from my own experience.
"We were running late, so I was rushing to get ready to meet you. I was in Jeff and Justin's room. Jeff was trying to help me pick out what to wear. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something about my second date with you. Just as I said it, Nick was walking in. Jeff tried to cover for me but when he saw me shaking my head he stopped in mid sentence. I didn't really have a choice. Nick knew, even if he didn't want to admit it. When I told him I was gay he looked like the wind was knocked out of him."
"He was just surprised, Drew. He's known you all your life and he probably thought he knew everything about you."
"But he walked out on me, Alex. He turned around and walked out."
"And."
"And I followed him. We started fighting and it got ugly pretty quick. He said he couldn't believe I'd been lying to him for so long. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to explain it to him. Then I brought up Matt."
"Oh," I said. "He told me last night what happened between him and Matt."
"When I said Matt's name it looked as though I'd sucker punched him. He tried to play if off like it didn't matter, but I could tell he was hurt. He said that I wasn't Matt. Then he looked at me and said, 'I don't care if you're gay.' When he said that all I could think about was you. You told me that's what people say."
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. It was so easy to forget that Drew was very new at all of this. I knew I needed to watch what I was saying.
"No, Drew!" I pleaded. "You can't compare what happened with my friend Scott and what is happening between you and your brother. Just because Nick used the same words doesn't mean the same thing will happen. What you have with Nick is something I never could have had with Scott. Don't you see that, Drew?" By now, Drew was crying and I was on the verge. "He loves you."
Drew looked up at me and again I saw the fear in his eyes. He was terrified that Nick was rejecting him. I leaned over and pulled Drew into a hug. He sobbed softly and rested his head on my shoulder. I slowly rubbed his back, doing my best to make him feel better.
After a few minutes, Drew had stopped crying. He sat up but he wouldn't look at me.
"Drew," I said. "We should go back. You should talk to him."
"No, not yet."
Scene 36
"No, not yet," Drew said, his voice nearly cracking.
His eyes pleaded with me.
"Drew, you need to face this. I'm sure Nick is climbing the walls not knowing where you are," I said.
"He knows I'm with you right?"
"Yes, he does. But that's not the point and you know it. The only way this is going to get better is if you talk to him." I paused for a moment. "Let's go back, okay? I'll be there if you need me. I promise."
Drew looked at me and nodded. I stood up and looked down at him sitting there on the grass. Reaching out, I helped him stand. His eyes looked weary and I could see the stress he was in. He hadn't planned on coming out to Nick that night but in the long run it was for the best. I had only witnessed it for a short time, but I knew he was in agony lying to his brother every day.
"Come on," I said. "We'll take the long way and walk around the lake. That'll give you a little more time."
He could only nod and attempt to smile as we started walking. It seemed like Drew was out of words, which concerned me. I didn't know how he was going to react when he saw his brother. If he just let his heart take over, he would be okay. I also didn't know how Nick was going to be when we got back. I was praying that Jeff was working on calming Nick down. Although I told Drew I'd be there for him, I didn't want to get in the middle of this. Of course, if he needed me I'd be there but it just didn't seem like my place.
"Look at that."
Lost in my own thoughts, I was surprised to hear Drew speak.
"What?"
"The gazebo," Drew answered. "I didn't see that before."
I glanced at the direction Drew was pointing and I saw a gazebo and small garden at the edge of the lake. The lights of the Boardwalk danced across the water, reflecting back at us. Drew walked over and stared over the lake at our hotel.
"What are you thinking?" I asked as I approached him from behind.
"Honestly, I'm not sure. Everything seems so out of whack right now. Everything except this."
"What?"
"This," he said, reaching out for my hand. "You and me."
I smiled and squeezed his hand.
"Despite everything that has happened tonight, or maybe because of it, I have to admit that it feels good being here with you."
"I feel the same way, Drew. This is a pretty special spot. I bet they have a lot of wedding ceremonies right here. It's so romantic."
For the first time that night I saw a spark of life in Drew's eyes. He blinked several times, as though he was trying to stop the tears from flowing.
"Thank you," he said.
"For what?"
"You have to ask?" he responded. "For all of this. For coming down here. For being there for me tonight. For listening. And for not judging. I don't know if I would have made it without you."
"You would have."
"Maybe," he said tentatively. "But it wouldn't have been easy. I know Jeff or Justin would have been there for me but it's not the same. You know exactly what I'm going through. Or, at least as close as anyone could know." He paused for a moment. "Alex, I'm sorry I messed up our date."
With everything Drew was dealing with that night, the last thing I expected was an apology for missing dinner. I was about to say just that when it happened. Drew leaned in and kissed me. It was a long, slow kiss that seemed to last for hours. He let go of my hand and let both of his hands come to rest on my back. He pulled me in closer before finally letting go.
At some point, I had closed my eyes. I let the feeling wash over me. It all felt like a dream. I felt so at peace with myself and at the same time, very excited. When I finally opened my eyes I saw Drew grinning at me.
"I've been wanting to do that for weeks now," he smiled.
Now I was at a loss for words. I could only smile back.
"Come on," he said. "I think it's time to talk to Nick."
As we started walking back to the hotel, I felt a single tear sliding down my face. It wasn't sadness I was feeling. I had never been so happy before.
Scene 37
I could feel Drew's mood change as we got closer to the hotel. His steps shortened and his pace decreased. Neither of us had said anything since we left the gazebo. Once we got up to the room, Drew stopped and stared at the door.
"It's going to be okay. I promise you, Drew."
"You can't promise me that, Alex."
"Look at me," I commanded. He stood motionless so I repeated myself. "Look at me, Drew."
When he turned to face me I could see the fear that had returned to his eyes.
"I said it's going to be okay, Drew, not that it's going to be easy. Those are two entirely different things. I know in my heart that this is going to work out. It may not happen tonight but it will happen."
Without a word Drew reached into his pocket to try to find his key. He came up empty handed so I reached up and softly knocked on the door. Seconds later the door flew open and we both saw Jeff standing in front of us. I don't know if he had heard us talking or if he just happened to be waiting by the door.
Drew walked past Jeff and saw his brother across the living room. It looked like Nick had been pacing but he had stopped dead in his tracks. The brothers stood there, sizing each other up. I followed Drew in and stood right behind him. Jeff closed the door, stepping away from the three of us.
"We need to talk," Drew said quietly, without any emotion.
Nick moved slowly and deliberately toward Drew. I could tell Drew was uncomfortable. Sensing he was about to back away, I placed my hand on the small of his back, not letting him back up. I doubt that Nick saw me do it, but I knew Jeff did. I could feel the tension in the room rise as Nick got to within a few feet of Drew.
Without speaking, Nick reached out and grabbed Drew, trying to hug him. Drew resisted, pushing away from his brother.
"No!" Drew pleaded as his tears began to fall.
Nick, however, wouldn't let go. Despite Drew's attempts, Nick pulled him into a bear hug. Drew finally gave in and stood there in his brother's arms, crying.
"I love you, little brother," Nick whispered. "No matter what."
It was only when I heard Nick's voice did I realize how close I was standing to them. I slowly backed away. Glancing over at Jeff, I could see him almost smiling. He raised his arm and wiped away a tear with the back of his hand.
Nick finally let go of Drew. Without words, Drew headed for their bedroom. Nick followed, all the while keeping one hand on his brother's shoulder. When they closed the door I was finally able to breathe again.
I crossed the room and collapsed in one of the easy chairs. Jeff joined me, sitting across from me on the couch. We both sat quietly for a couple of minutes.
"Is Drew going to be okay?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"I think so. Maybe not tonight but I know this will work out. He has you to lean on if he needs."
"Of course, but I'm glad you were here tonight, Alex."
Jeff looked at me. I could see the concern on his face.
"Are you okay, Alex?"
I sighed and nodded.
"It's just a lot to deal with," I said, finally. "It brought back a lot of unpleasant memories."
I turned and looked out the window at the night sky. From where I was sitting I could see reflections off the water. My emotions began to get away from me and I felt the tears start to streak down my face. I sat there crying for a couple of minutes until my mind stopped working.
"Alex, are you okay?"
I laughed. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Everything just sort of got to me I guess."
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"No, but thanks."
"Anytime. Alex, there is something I want to ask you, but I'm not sure it's the right time."
"What is it?" I asked with curiosity.
"Well," Jeff said hesitantly. "Are you hungry?"
"Come again?"
"Well, I don't think any of us have eaten since lunch and it's almost eleven o'clock. If I don't eat something soon I think I'm going to pass out."
I started laughing. He was right; I hadn't eaten since lunch. With everything that had happened that night, I hadn't thought about food.
"Why don't you order room service," I said. "Make sure you get something for Nick and Drew, just in case."
After Jeff ordered we sat and waited for the food. We didn't talk much since we both were thinking about what was going on in the other room. I took it as a good sign that neither Drew nor Nick had walked away from the conversation.
Once the food arrived, Jeff and I sat down and started eating.
"Jeff?" I said between bites.
"Yeah."
"He kissed me."
Jeff put down the fries in his hand and looked at me. His mouth was slightly ajar, as if my words had shocked him.
"Who?" he asked.
"Mickey Mouse, you idiot," I laughed. "Drew, of course."
"Okay," he said sheepishly. "Dumb question. You just caught me off guard."
"Well, he caught me off guard, too. It certainly wasn't something I was expecting after everything that had happened tonight. After it happened, though, it felt right."
"How was it?" he asked.
I took a deep breath before saying it.
"I think I might be falling in love with him."
Scene 38
The words echoed through my head.
"I think I might be falling in love with him," I had said to Jeff.
My mind raced back to the kiss Drew and I had shared earlier. In that moment I had felt all the problems of the world suddenly disappear. The only thing that mattered was Drew. It was wonderful, but at the same time it was terrifying.
"Really?" Jeff asked. "You really think you're falling in love?"
Before I could answer we both heard the door to the bedroom open. I turned to find Nick standing there, looking very drained. He closed the door behind him and took a seat at the table where Jeff and I were sitting.
"How is he?" Jeff asked.
Nick sighed and said, "I don't know. He says he wants to be alone."
"I'll go check on him," Jeff said as he started to stand.
"No!" I nearly shouted. "If he wants to be alone then we are going to let him be alone. With all due respect, neither of you knows what he is going through. Coming out to someone you love is the hardest thing imaginable. You have to put everything on the line. It takes a kind of strength that you can't understand. I know that doesn't make much sense. You," I said, addressing Jeff. "You need to trust him. If he needs you he'll ask for you. Sometimes you just need some time alone to process everything."
"But what if he." Jeff responded.
"He'll be fine, Jeff. Nick wouldn't have left him alone if he thought anything was going to happen to him. We just need to give him some time. We can check on him in a half hour."
"Okay."
"And you," I said grabbing Nick's arm to get his attention. "You need to realize that all of this isn't going to work itself out tonight. Don't push him. It won't help."
"Why didn't he tell me?"
"I can't answer that, Nick. You need to ask him."
"But I tried," Nick said, his voice cracking. "He won't talk to me."
"Then he is just not ready to talk to you. He needs time, Nick. Ever since he figured out he's gay he's been worried about losing you. He just needs some time to realize that you still love him?"
"Why would he ever think that I wouldn't love him?" Nick asked.
"Because of."
"Because of Matt," he interrupted, answering his own question.
We sat for several minutes without talking. Finally, Nick stood up and walked over to the window. He stood there, staring out at the lake. Moments later, Jeff got up and walked over to Nick. From behind, he put his arms around Nick, hugging him. Nick turned and tried to smile at Jeff. I could hear their voices but I couldn't hear what they were saying.
I stood up and walked over to the bedroom door. I softly knocked on the door, opening it without waiting for a response. Drew was curled up, sleeping on one of the beds, still wearing all of his clothes.
I walked across the room and shut out the light. Pulling a blanket over him, I whispered to him.
"It's going to be okay. I promise you, Drew."
Scene 39
I probably shouldn't have called because it was getting late. After I tucked Drew in bed, I went back to the living room. Jeff and Nick were involved in what looked like a serious conversation. I said goodnight and by the time I got back to my room, it was almost midnight.
"Hello?" I heard him answer after quite a few rings.
"You were sleeping, weren't you?"
"Alex?"
"Yeah, Mike. It's me."
I heard him moving, perhaps sitting up in bed.
"What's wrong?" he said quickly, realizing I wouldn't have called him so late unless it was important.
"Nothing," I replied. "Well, that's not true. At least nothing's wrong with me."
"Hey, either I'm not awake yet or you're talking in code. Do you mind explaining?"
"Sorry," I laughed. "Drew came out to Nick tonight. It got a little tense but I really think it's going to work out. But that's not why I called. That could have waited."
As I was talking, I had managed to kick off my shoes and undo my tie. I slid off my pants and sat down on the bed, finally free from the suit I had been wearing all night.
"So, why did you call?" Mike questioned.
"He kissed me."
"Hah!" Mike practically screamed. "That's great, Alex!"
I started laughing. I knew Mike was the one person in the world who would understand. That's why I called and woke him up.
"So, tell me what happened?"
"Well," I began. "He didn't really plan on coming out to Nick tonight. It just sort of happened and then they got in a fight. Drew needed to be away from Nick, so I took him for a walk. We talked for a long time. As we were walking back we ended up at this beautiful place overlooking the lake. Before I knew it, he leaned in and kissed me."
"And how was it?"
"It was incredible, Mike. It felt like everything in the world had stopped. It just felt right."
"And aren't you glad you waited for the right guy?" Mike asked.
"Yeah. And I have you to thank for that."
"No, not really."
I heard a knock at the door.
"Hang on, Mike. Someone's at the door."
I set down the phone and opened the door. He walked in without an invitation.
"Mike? Listen I'll talk to you when I get home tomorrow. Okay?"
"Is Drew there?" Mike asked.
"No. It's Nick."
Scene 40
Nick sat on the foot of my bed, waiting for me to get off the phone with Mike. As I was saying goodbye, I looked at Nick. He looked haggard. The events of the night were clearly getting to him.
"Sorry to bother you," he said, "but I think Jeff was ready to throttle me. I hope you don't mind me coming here."
"Nick, don't be ridiculous," I said, sitting on the bed and leaning back against the headboard "I'm here for you any time of the day or night. Did Jeff say something to you?"
"No," Nick laughed. "Actually he suggested I come talk to you. So he's to blame for making you cut your call short."
"Don't worry about it. So, what's going on, Nick?"
"I fucked things up, didn't I?"
"How so?" I asked.
"By the way I treated Matt. What I did to Matt has made my own brother doubt me. I almost screwed up my relationship with my cousin. Now, I have screwed up my relationship with my brother."
"Don't say that, Nick!" I commanded, sounding very much like Mike when he scolds me. "You can't expect things to work themselves out in just a couple of hours. When Drew came back you did exactly the right thing by hugging him. That probably meant more to Drew than anything you could say to him."
"But that's the problem. I don't think I've said anything to him tonight. He didn't seem to be listening to anything I said."
"Nick," I said. "Drew is confused. Just like you are. He doesn't know how to deal with you right now. He may not be listening, but I guarantee the message is getting across. Even if he won't admit it to you, he knows you love him. That's what is important right now. He just needs people to love him for who he is."
Nick shifted, pulling one of his legs underneath him. He turned so he could look directly at me. I could see him thinking.
"Alex," he said hesitantly. "How do you feel about Drew?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, sidestepping Nick's question.
"Okay, I'll cut to the chase. I heard what you were saying to Jeff. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, especially after what happened with Drew, but I heard you."
"What did you hear?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"You said you were falling in love with him."
I pursed my lips, trying to decide what to say.
"Are you?" Nick asked.
"I think I might be."
"Oh."
Nick looked at me, never letting his eyes leave mine. I could see the concern in his face. I thought I knew what he was about to say, so I saved him the trouble of asking.
"Nick," I said. "Let me try to explain something. There have been several times in my life when I thought I was through the coming out process. I thought I was at the point where I accepted who I was. Drew might even think that right now. But I've come to realize that this is an ongoing battle. It will never end, no matter how badly I want it to. Drew doesn't know it, but he has a lot to go through still. I came out when I was 19 and it wasn't until I was 23 that I was finally able to accept it."
I took a deep breath. Nick just sat there, waiting for me to continue.
"That's when I started drinking so heavily. I'm not saying that Drew is going to have to go through what I did. I had horrible experiences when I first came out. The first couple of people I told literally stopped talking to me. But Drew came out to Jeff and then Justin, so that's not an issue. I also had parents who filled me with homophobic ideas and it took a long time to get past that. I really hope that Drew didn't have the same childhood I did."
"He didn't, thank God!" Nick said.
Although I knew what Nick meant, it still stung a bit.
"Oh, Alex!" Nick said quickly. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry."
"No," I nodded. "I'm glad, too. But, regardless, he is going to need a lot of support. I'm not sure if anything truly romantic is going to happen, but I swear to you, Nick, I won't let that happen if it jeopardizes my friendship with him. Because of the group, he won't be able to be out to very many people. I know that I may be the only gay man he can confide in. Me and Matt, of course. Seeing Drew come to terms with himself is more important than a romantic relationship with him."
"You're amazing. You know that, don't you?"
"Whatever," I snickered.
"No, Alex," he said. "I'm being totally serious. That night at the Mall, you told me you were waiting for the right guy to come along. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but it sounds like Drew might be that guy and here you are saying you'll give that up to protect him. That's pretty amazing in my book."
"Thanks," I said as I started to blush. "I always seem to put everyone else first. I'm hoping that one day all those good deeds I've done are going to catch up to me. You know, karma."
"It will," Nick reassured me.
"Can I tell you something, Nick?"
"What is it?"
"He kissed me tonight."
Without saying anything, Nick slid across the bed and pulled me into a hug.
"What was that for?" I asked when he finally let me go.
"You know."
At that moment I was praying that I knew.
"So, you're okay with me and Drew?"
"I can't think of a better brother-in-law," Nick smiled.
"Whoa, cowboy! It was just a kiss," I stammered.
"I know," Nick replied. He had a smirk on his face that told me what he was really thinking. The thought of being with Drew on a permanent basis was a nice one.
"I should go back," he said after a few moments of silence.
"Can I come?" I asked. "I just want to check on him."
"Of course. But first you should probably put on some pants."
I laughed nervously since I had just realized I had been sitting there that entire time in my underwear.
We made our way back to Nick's suite. The lights were off in the living room so Jeff must have been asleep or at least in his room. We opened the bedroom door and the lights were still out. Nick walked across the dark room and turned on a floor lamp. A column of light spread across the room. In the dim light we both saw Drew tossing and turning, clearly having a bad dream. I looked over at Nick, who seemed paralyzed.
"He needs you," I said quietly.
Nick looked at me and nodded. Walking over to the bed, he carefully sat down next to his brother. He began gently stroking Drew's hair. Drew shifted in his sleep. Nick lay down next to him and gently pulled Drew into his arms.
I walked over to shut out the light. In those few seconds in Nick's arms, Drew had seemed to fall into a peaceful sleep. As I shut the door to the bedroom, I knew Drew would be safe, for now.
Scene 41
"Jesus!" I screamed as he placed his hand on my shoulder, waking me from a very deep sleep.
"No," he laughed. "It's just Drew."
"Huh?" I said, trying to figure out what was going on. I glanced at the clock next to the bed. It was about 8:15 in the morning.
"Sorry to wake you up, but we're leaving soon and I didn't want to miss my chance to say goodbye like last time."
As things finally started to click I realized just how naked I was. I was only wearing a pair of boxer-briefs. Drew was sitting next to me on the bed, clearly enjoying the view. As nonchalantly as possible, I pulled the sheet up to cover me.
Drew smiled ever so slightly, obviously knowing what I was doing.
"Alex," he said, looking seriously all of a sudden. "Thank you for last night."
"You needed me so I was there. I mostly just listened."
"No," he said. "I meant the kiss."
I smiled and looked into his hazel eyes. He leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his lips pressing against mine. I felt like I was about to pass out. It was a remarkable feeling. We kissed for a couple of minutes, until both of us needed to take a break to breathe.
"So how are you and Nick this morning?" I asked.
I saw his countenance change. He lost the spark in his eyes.
"He doesn't want to be around me. He doesn't know what to say."
"First," I said forcefully, "he does want to be around you. We talked for a long time last night while you were asleep. And second, you're right. He doesn't know what to say, any more than you do. It's going to be awkward for a while. But I know it's going to get better. Just give it some time, okay?"
"I don't know," he said.
I contemplated telling him about his nightmare and how his brother had held him. To me, that act said everything about Nick's love for Drew. Ultimately, I decided against mentioning it, thinking Drew would be too embarrassed.
"You know he loves you, right?"
"Yes."
"Remember that. It's going to be okay. I promise you, Drew."
"We have to leave soon," he said, obviously trying to change the subject. "We have a radio promotion in Tampa in a couple of hours."
I didn't want him to leave. It felt good being there with him, even when we were talking about serious things.
"Alex?"
"What?"
"Will you hold me for a while?" he asked.
Without speaking, I pulled him close to me and held him in my arms. I tried my best to reassure him by gently rocking him. After a couple of minutes, he shifted and began to kiss me.
Although I could see in my peripheral vision, I could do nothing to stop it. From what I could tell it was a pillow flying through the air. It hit Drew on the back, startling him enough to make him jerk his head forward. Unfortunately, my head was right his path.
"Ouch!" I cried as I gently rubbed the spot.
Jeff, who had been the culprit who threw the pillow, burst into laughter.
"Okay! Where did you come from? And come to think of it," I said, looking at Drew, "how did you get in here this morning? Doesn't this place have locks on the doors?"
Jeff tried to answer but his laughter was still consuming him. I never did find out how either of them made it into my room that morning.
"Five minutes, Drew," Jeff said once he was able to speak. "This is new. You're the one always telling us were going to be late. Looks like Alex is a bad influence on you."
Before either of us had a chance to protest, Jeff was on the way out the door. Before he left, however, he made one additional comment.
"You look good together!"
I think Drew was about to speak but I took control by kissing him. After all, if we only had five minutes I was going to make good use of the time.
Seconds later, we both heard a chorus of "oohs" and ahs" from behind us. Standing in the doorway was Sharon and Justin.
"Hey!" Sharon shouted. "They're having more fun than we are."
"Jesus!" I yelled.
"No, it's just Sharon and Justin," Drew said with a straight face.
"Okay, I get it this time," I snickered. "What is this place? Grand Central Station?"
"Just a friendly reminder, Sprout. We need to leave now," Justin said.
"Okay, okay!" Drew answered. "I'm coming!"
Right after he said it I said a little prayer, hoping everyone would act like an adult. Drew was, after all, wrapped in my arms. On top of that, I was nearly naked so the sexual connotation of his remark was not too big a leap for any of us to make.
"Too much information, honey," Sharon offered as she burst into laughter.
"Out!" I cried, shaking my head. I was, however, laughing too.
Drew and I were alone again but the time was ticking down. Drew looked like he was about to say something.
"So, what about us?"
"Is there an us?" I asked.
"I hope so."
"Me, too," I smiled.
"I know you don't like it when we pay for things, but in all honesty, that's the only way we are going to get to see each other. My schedule just doesn't allow me to fly to Minneapolis on weekends. It would be much easier if you could come see me."
"I know you're right," I said, "but I do hate it. You shouldn't have to pay for me."
"But I want to," he pleaded. "And just so you know, there's no expectation with it. If I fly you out to see me and you end up spending more time with Jeff than me, I'll understand. I won't necessarily like it, but I'll live with it."
"Okay," I sighed.
"Good," Drew smiled. "I'll call you tonight and we can look over the schedule and see when you can come visit."
We started kissing again, only to be interrupted for a third time.
"I warned you," I heard Jeff saying.
His hand grabbed Drew, actually pulling him out of my bed. All of us started laughing. I smiled, not really wanting to say the word "goodbye". Jeff and Drew disappeared out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Suddenly I looked up and saw Drew. He must have escaped from Jeff's clutches. Running over to me, he gave me a quick, yet tender kiss.
"I'll see you soon," he whispered before running back out the door.
"I hope so," I said out loud.
Scene 42
"I could really get used to this," Sharon said, sitting back in her seat.
"What?" I asked.
"I said I could get used to this. You know, flying first class."
I nodded, although I didn't really agree with her. Even though I told Drew it was okay, I still didn't feel right having him or any of the guys spending all that money on me.
"What's going on with you?" Sharon asked. "You've been out of it since we left the hotel this morning."
"I just have some things on my mind. You know you missed all the drama."
"I know. Sorry."
"It's okay," I said. "It was probably good you were with Justin. It took some of the pressure off Nick and Drew by not having him around. There wouldn't have been much for you to do. Except feel like you weren't helping."
"Is that how you feel?"
"Maybe. I don't know"
"Well," Sharon smiled. "Judging by what I witnessed this morning, I think you were helping. Drew seemed to be enjoying himself. At the very least, you provided a bit of a distraction for him."
I felt myself blush.
"Really?" I shot back. "And what kind of distraction were you providing for Justin?"
"We didn't sleep together, if that's what you're asking," she replied with a matter-of-fact tone. "I mean, we did sleep together but it was just sleeping."
"So, you like him?"
"Yes, I do. He's really funny, but in a crazy way. He likes to tell jokes, but he doesn't like to put other people down. We had a really good time last night. He thinks you're cool, by the way."
"No one has ever accused me of that," I said, laughing.
"Ain't that the truth, honey!"
"Hey!"
"Just stating the obvious," she laughed. "He really liked that you wore those leather pants to the concert."
We talked for a couple more minutes until lunch was served. I wasn't really that hungry so I opted to try to get some sleep. I sat there with my eyes closed but I couldn't stop thinking about Drew. For a while, I thought about how wonderful it was to kiss him. I could imagine us spending a lot of time together. Then my mind flashed back to something Nick had said. He told me he thought I'd make a good brother-in-law to him. Despite all the conflict between Nick and Drew, Nick was still able to see past all of that and see me as part of Drew's future. I was so scared to admit it to myself, but I was thinking the same thing. More than anything, I wanted this to work out. I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving Drew.
I must have fallen asleep because Sharon had to wake me just before we landed in Minneapolis. For a second, I thought I had dreamed the whole weekend, but that, obviously, wasn't the case.
"Damn! You're the first ones off. Did you fly first class?"
I looked up, startled to see Mike standing there.
"First class the entire weekend," Sharon replied. "You missed out."
"But you didn't get to go to my cousin's wedding in beautiful Fargo, North Dakota," Mike joked as we headed for baggage claim.
"So, what are you doing here?" I asked him when Sharon went into the bathroom.
"Well, after your call last night I just wanted to see you. You sounded worried when Nick came to see you."
"Not worried, exactly. It was just a very emotional evening for all of us, that's all. Nick and I talked for a long time. It's still pretty touchy between him and Drew, but I think they'll work it out."
"What about you and Drew?"
"What about us?"
"Don't play dumb with me, Alex. You know exactly what I'm asking. What's going to happen?"
"Hell if I know, Mike. I'll tell you this, though. I've never felt like this about anyone before. I can't imagine not being around him but at the same time the thought of that scares me to death."
"You're in love with him," Mike said softly.
"Yeah, right," I said sarcastically.
Just then, Sharon returned from the restroom and we resumed our trek to baggage claim. Instinctively, Mike knew I didn't want to talk about Drew in front of Sharon. I was relieved that she was there. I didn't know what I would have said if Mike had pressed me on my true feelings for Drew.
When I finally got back to my place that afternoon, I noticed the flickering light on my answering machine. I hit the message button and smiled when I heard his voice.
"Hi, Alex. It's Drew. I just."he stammered on the recording. "I just wanted to tell you.that I love you."
To be continued..
I know. It's taken FOREVER for them to kiss. I hope it was worth the wait. What do you think will happen next?
Send feedback to: Thack98@mindspring.com