The legal stuff: This is a sexually explicit story (at times) involving homosexuality. By continuing to read, you affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to sexually explicit material. The content and opinions expressed in this story do not imply anything with regard to the sexual preference of any member of 98 Degrees or other celebrities named herein. This is a work of fiction entirely.
It's amazing how much free time you have when your relationship goes south. GRRR. Good for writing time, bad for me! Without getting into any details, it hasn't been a good week. But, if it was meant to be we'll find our way back to each other. I do love you, Dan, despite everything.
Here's the next part of the story. I guess I got inspired. Two installments in one month? That's unheard of for me! I'm trying to work my way out of the gloom and doom that the story was in. Happy days are here again, sort of.
For all my American friends: VOTE on November 2nd. (For Kerry, hopefully.) Make your voice heard. -thack
Scene 155
"What took you so long?" Drew cracked when Jeff and I finally caught up with them.
"Honey," I said as sweetly as I could, "give it a rest."
"Geez," Drew laughed. "Sounds like you need to be on my meds. I'm feeling no pain right now!"
"Don't rub it in, little bro. Some of us haven't been asleep for the past five hours."
Drew could sense he was joking with the wrong crowd and gave up his ribbing of us.
Jeff, who was somewhat disguised in an Angels baseball cap said he would wait for our luggage. He told Nick where his SUV was parked. The plan was for Nick to help get Drew into the car and then return to help Jeff with the bags.
"Everything okay?" Nick asked me as we made our way to the parking garage. "It looked him you and Jeff were talking about something important."
I looked down at the back of Drew's head. He, too, was wearing a baseball cap, but his was a Cincinnati Reds cap. I could tell he was listening, although he was pretending he wasn't.
"Yeah, everything is going to be fine," I said. This time I meant it.
We had to search for awhile but we finally found Jeff's SUV. Nick did the best he could at lifting his brother into the back seat. I had to look away because the moment Drew tried to stand up I could see the intense pain on his face. With both of us situated in the back seat, Nick returned to baggage claim, leaving Drew and I alone.
"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching out and grasping his hand. He held onto it for a very long time before responding.
"Yeah. I'm glad Jeff was here. Now we don't have to worry about running into him here in town."
"So, everything is better now."
"No."
"Oh," was all I could say.
"We did talk before he came back here, Alex. But, we didn't really solve everything. We basically came to the conclusion that what happened in the past can't be changed. We also both agreed that if we continued to place you in the middle of things..." His voice trailed off. "Well, you may not stick around if we continue fighting."
"I love you, honey. You know that, right?" I squeezed his hand.
"Yes. But, it's just that Jeff and I had this strange talk and now I'm trying to figure out exactly what's going to happen."
"I can't tell you what's going to happen because I don't know, Drew. We've already been through all of this. Jeff is confused. I don't know if he still feels that way but I know that I don't. I love you, Drew. That's what matters to me. Yes, I love Jeff but not like I love you. Don't you see that? I've tried to show you every way I can. Maybe I'm not saying it enough. Maybe I'm not acting on my feelings but you're still recovering. And, maybe I'm just not sure you love me back."
When I said the words I felt his hand involuntarily pull back. I squeezed hard and wouldn't let go. After about 20 seconds he wrapped his fingers around mine and squeezed back.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Alex. You have to believe that. You're the reason I force myself to get up every morning. You're the reason I woke up from the accident." He paused. "Yes, I have made plenty of mistakes. And, I will make more of them. But, I don't want you to doubt that I love you. Nick knows it. My mom knows it. Leah knows it. And, I even believe that Jeff knows it."
"He does. That's what we were talking about this morning. He knows and he accepts it. Or, at least he says he does."
"Good. I can't guarantee everything will be perfect between me and him but we promised each other, for your sake, to make an effort to put everything behind us. That's the best I can do right now, Alex. Maybe someday he and I will get to be the friends we once were. In the meantime, I'll settle for getting along."
I leaned over and kissed him very gently on the lips. As I pulled away, I realized two things. First, we were in a relatively public place that was accessible to photographers. Second, that we really hadn't done more than hold hands for over a month.
When Jeff and Nick finally arrived I realized I had no clue where we were going.
"Are we going to your place?" I asked Jeff.
"Yes," he said.
"No," Nick interjected.
Jeff had just started the car and he glanced at Nick, who was riding shotgun,
"We're not?"
"No," Nick said again. "I really didn't expect you to pick us up, Jeff. But, Drew needs to be by UCLA. That's where is doctors are and that's where he'll be in physical therapy. It just doesn't make sense to drive all the way from Orange County every day."
"I guess," Jeff responded, somewhat disheartened.
"It's okay, Sugar," Drew responded, trying to make Jeff feel better. "I appreciate it."
Jeff only shrugged and started driving.
"So, where are we going," I finally asked, mostly to break the silence. "You'd figure that since I am the Travel Manager I'd know but I'm clueless. I think I owe Nick at least half my salary for the year."
"Nope," Nick smiled. "Officially the insurance company has you on a medical leave of absence."
I nodded at Nick, even though I knew he couldn't see me. It did answer one of the questions I had been so afraid to ask. Up until that time, I had no idea how my medical bills were being paid. A part of me suspected that Nick had been paying for everything, so it was a relief to find out I had made it on the insurance plan.
"Well, I got one of those corporate rentals in LA. It's a three-bedroom, so there will be plenty of space. The two of you can take the master bedroom and I'll bunk in one of the others. We can use the third bedroom as a guest bedroom. Drew, I'm assuming you're going to want to stay out here for awhile, right?"
"Yup," was all that Drew said.
"Cool. I thought that was the case. And, if Alex is cool with that I think you should think about getting a condo or a house. That's what Jess and I are thinking of doing."
There was dead silence. I just stared down, not wanting to look over at Drew.
"What did I say?" Nick asked.
"Well," Jeff replied. "I don't think the two of them have had much time to talk about their long-term living arrangements."
"It's okay," I jumped in, trying to help Nick out. "If he'll have me I'd like to stick around, too."
"I'll have you," Drew said softly.
Scene 156
Over the next week the three of us tried to get into some sort of routine. Since my right leg was still in the cast, I was effectively useless when it came to transportation. Nick initially took on the role of chauffeur. I felt badly about that.
"You need to go see Jessica," I argued one night.
"I know I do," Nick said softly so that Drew couldn't hear him in the next room. "But, Drew needs me here."
"Not really," I said, instantly regretting it. The stare back from Nick would have melted ice.
"What does that mean?"
"Sorry," I replied. "That didn't come out right, Nicky. Oh course your brother needs you. I need you here, too. But, we can get along okay for a couple of days. You need to go see Jess, wherever she is."
"How will you get around? You can't drive, you know."
"Really?" I responded sarcastically, knocking on my cast. "I didn't know that."
Again I got the glare.
"Look," I said finally. "We will be fine. He doesn't have any doctor's appointments over the weekend. And for the ones he does have I'll get a car service. It's not like we haven't used them before. If we need food we'll order in. And if we really need something I'm sure we can guilt Jeff into driving up here. Besides, Drew and I were talking last night and he is starting to feel like he's holding you back."
"He didn't say anything to me."
"Of course he didn't, Nick. And he never will. I'm breaking about 14 parts of the boyfriend code right now by telling you. He just wants you to be happy. And if you're happy, he'll be happy. And that will put me in a much better mood."
"What's up with that?" Nick joked, the tension gone. "You have been in a lousy mood lately."
"I'm uncomfortable as hell. This thing itches like crazy and I haven't taken a shower in forever."
When he opened his mouth I was certain it was going to be some sort of wisecrack. I was right.
"Yeah, you do smell a little."
"Nice one, Lachey!"
"I'm just playing. When does that thing come off?"
"Next week, I hope. Then I join Drew in physical therapy."
After more discussion I finally convinced Nick to go see Jessica. When he told Drew he was going I could see a weight lift off of my boyfriend. I knew that even though I shouldn't have betrayed his trust, it was the best thing for all of us.
Nick left early Friday morning and promised to be back by Tuesday night. That same Friday afternoon I had ordered a sedan to pick us up at the apartment to go over to Drew's doctor at the UCLA Medical Center. I felt badly because I hadn't under anticipated my strength when it came to helping Drew in and out of the car. With my leg out of commission, I simply couldn't offer much assistance and he was still in a lot of pain. The driver had to help him get in and out, which made me feel a little useless.
"I should have called Jeff," I said to the driver, not really thinking that he wouldn't know who Jeff was.
"It's not a problem, Mr. Jackson. Of all the crazy things I've done in this job, this is pretty tame," he winked.
I remember thinking he was pretty good looking, if you go for the blond hair, blue eyed 25-year old California surfer look. Drew didn't seem to mind being helped by him so I figured I hadn't screwed up too badly.
Nick came home late Tuesday night and be brought a present.
"What's that?" Drew asked as he yawned on the couch.
Nick tossed him the paper and I noticed it was one of those horrible tabloids. On the cover was a picture of Drew being lifted into a wheelchair by the blond driver. I stood nearby, leaning on my crutches. Drew started laughing when he read the headline.
"Pop Prince Will Never Walk Again," he read out loud.
I groaned and laughed at the same time. Drew had just managed to walk from the bathroom on his own power about 20 minutes earlier.
"This is one time I don't mind the tabloids being totally wrong."
"Amen," Nick said.
Scene 157
Life in LA was pretty dull. I'm sure it would have helped matters if Drew and I could actually leave the apartment under our own power. Drew was improving a lot. In fact, he was now more mobile than I was, although he did get easily winded. His muscles had weakened while he had been laid up in the hospital so he was going to physical therapy several times a week. He would always return looking totally wiped out.
"You know," the woman said over the phone, "we can set up an account for you. You know, since you order so much from us."
"That's okay," I responded. "Cash is fine."
I hung up the phone and glanced at the clock. Dinner would arrive in about 45 minutes.
"Honey, why do I feel like a bad parent?"
"What?" Drew said, looking up at me from the couch.
I grinned at him. He had a puzzled look on his face. It was moments like that when I realized how much I had almost lost.
"We order too much from that place on the corner. They offered to set up a billing account for us, for heaven's sake. I feel like a too-busy studio executive that never cooks a meal for his family."
"I hope you don't expect me to make homemade lasagna for you."
"No," I laughed. "But, I could make something. My leg is a pain whether I'm sitting down or standing up."
"Baby, I love you. But, you're not the best cook. I think ordering in is fine. Besides, who is going to go the grocery store?"
"I think I should be offended," I cracked. "Nick could go shopping for us when he gets back from seeing Jess this time."
"Great. Then all we'd get is frozen dinners, hamburgers, and chips. Oh, and beer."
I laughed at Drew, knowing he was right. Nick was probably the most down to earth guy I've ever met, with the only possible exception being Mike.
"Well, I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hopefully this stupid cast will come off. Then I'll join you at physical therapy."
"We're a sorry bunch, aren't we?"
I was about to respond when my cell phone went off. I'd taken to hooking it on my belt because I never could move fast enough to answer it if it were too far away.
"Talk to me."
"Alex?"
"Sharon!" I screamed.
"Oh, it's so good to hear your voice."
"I know. I can't believe I haven't talked to you since..."
Drew looked up at me, knowing exactly how I felt. Neither of us had become very adept at talking about the accident.
"It's okay, Alex. I'm just so happy you're okay. And I heard that Drew is getting stronger. I'm thrilled about that."
"Have you been talking to Mike?"
"No," she said.
"Then, how?"
"A certain someone," she smiled.
"You still talk to him?"
"Yes, I do."
"Really?" I said. "Justin never said a thing about it. Not that I've talked to him much lately. But, still."
"Well, he didn't want to overwhelm you. It's been rough, I know."
"So, are you and he...together?"
"No," she responded. "We email a lot. And we talk on the phone once in awhile. It's not that I'm not interested, but I'm here and he's back in Ohio right now."
"Hmm," I said, somewhat disappointed.
"I know I'm sort of imposing," she said. "And if you're not ready for a visitor that's fine. But, I'll be in LA in two weeks for the National Concierge Association meeting. It's at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel."
"That's great! I would so love to see you. And Drew would, too. We're only about 3 or 4 miles from there. And by next week the cast will be off next week so I'll be mobile again."
We both fell into a content silence for a few seconds.
"I miss you," I said softly.
"Me, too."
Scene 158
"Sharon's coming out to visit."
We sat across from each other at the restaurant. We had been seated for about 5 minutes without much to say to each other. He had chosen "The Ivy", a very trendy restaurant on Robertson that catered to the entertainment industry. With Drew's check-up and physical therapy back to back, there was plenty of time for a late afternoon lunch. Sitting there, however, I wished I had declined.
"That's good. You haven't seen her since the accident?"
"No," I said.
Jeff looked at me and sighed. It was a sigh that indicated that he was just as uncomfortable as I was. It was distressing.
"I thought this was going to get better," I finally said, breaking the silence.
"It was supposed to."
"I thought after you met us at the airport things would be okay."
"That was the plan," he said.
"Why didn't it work?"
"I don't know, Alex. I had wanted you guys to stay with me. That way it would force me to deal with everything. I understand why you didn't. I mean, I wouldn't want to stay with me if I were you."
"That's not it at all, Jeff. I wasn't part of that decision. Neither was Drew, for that matter. That was all Nick. I don't think it would have made much sense for us to be all the way over by you."
"I know."
"So, what happens now?"
Jeff looked down at the table. His fingers were wrapped around the tall glass of iced tea in front of him.
"I move on."
"Is it that easy?"
"No," he said, finally looking up at me. "But I have no choice."
"I love you, you know. We all do, Jeff. You know that right?"
His eyes answered my question. They glistened and I knew he had understood which type of love of which I spoke. It broke my heart.
"I'm sorry," I said softly, although I wasn't sure why I was apologizing.
"Me, too," he countered.
"So, what happens now?" I repeated.
"You and your Prince ride into the sunset," he replied without much enthusiasm. "It's time for a change for me."
"What does that mean?"
"I'm not sure, Alex. I just know it's time."
Scene 159
There was much rejoicing the day I got the cast off my leg. I'd like to say it was all flowers and puppies at the doctor's office but it truly was disgusting. Nick had wanted to stay and watch but I sent him away. I was glad I did because the stench was revolting. I gagged a couple of times until I got cleaned up.
My muscles had atrophied considerably and it made me look very uneven. The ugly scar was prominent and I wondered out loud if I ever would model a pair of shorts again. My doctor told me that over time the scar would fade and he suggested I speak to a plastic surgeon about it.
Drew was thrilled to have me back in one piece, although I was reticent about the entire process. I knew that I would have many long hours at physical therapy before I felt normal again.
"That felt so good," I said, walking from the bathroom in a cloud of steam.
"I bet," he smiled from bed.
He was lying there, propped up on a bunch of pillows reading a book. He was wearing a pair of red flannel pajama bottoms but no shirt. Self-conscious, I glanced down at my leg, which was carefully hidden under the big, fluffy towel.
"Don't worry about it, Alex," he said, reading my mind. "I'm damaged goods here so one little scar isn't going to change how I feel about you."
"It's not that," I said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He reached over and grabbed my hand. I felt that spark of electricity jump through me. Then I saw the yawn.
"Nice, Sprout."
"Sorry," he blushed. "It's late and I'm tired. What's wrong?"
"It's just that now that the cast is off, there's no reason we can't..."
"Um, hmm," he grinned.
"And that's the problem."
"Oh," he said. "Baby, that will happen when it happens. I'm not expecting anything. Besides, I'm not exactly in the best shape right now. I don't even know if I could manage a blow job," he laughed. "Let alone full-contact sex!"
"Drew!"
"What?" he said, still laughing.
"It's just that...I don't feel. Ugh! I feel so unattractive."
I looked at him as he squeezed my hand. He was being serious now and I could see him trying to figure out how to answer.
"You are so the opposite of unattractive. I love you, Alex. I don't care if one leg is bigger than the other. I don't care about the scar. I don't care that you don't feel like making love. I don't care about any of that right now. Don't you realize how lucky we both are? I'm here with the man I love. I didn't fall in love with your chest, or your arms, or your dick. I fell in love with your heart."
I practically melted when he said that. I leaned over and kissed him, feeling his tongue explore my mouth. Although he couldn't reciprocate, that night he got a blow job.
To be continued...
Feedback is encouraged at thack98@comcast.net.