Do not break any laws by reading this. That means if you are under age, stop now. Any questions? Please read the disclaimer on the first installments. Also, remember this is fiction. I have never met any of the celebrities in the story and I have no knowledge of their private lives.
I know, I suck. Sorry it's taken me this long and all you're getting is one measly chapter. Don't worry. I am not abandoning the story. Life has been a little out of control lately and I needed to take care of myself. Unfortunately, I don't see things getting better for awhile, but I will try to devote some time to the story.
I sorta feel like I've written myself into a corner. I know where I want the story to go, but I just need to get past the current scenes. In my outline, I never intended to write about the video shoot, but it just kinda came out as I was writing. Aparently, some of you don't like how I'm writing Jeff. He's not "turning evil" and he won't be hurting Drew. Just remember that he's confused and he cares about Alex. He's trying to do the right thing, but sometimes actions don't come out as he plans. Just trust me and stick with him and I bet you all will be pleased in the end.
As I mentioned, life's been a bit crazy. So, I have to thank Sean and Phillip for helping me through New Year's Eve. Also, thanks to Jase for remembering my anniversary. Like Alex, I'm in recovery and I just hit 8 years sober. :)
Take care and be good. I promise I'll do a better of job of writing for all of you.
Thack
"Jess?"
"How much of that did you hear?" Jeff asked quickly.
"Enough," she said. "Answer the question, Alex?"
I quickly turned and looked at Jeff. He was as white as a ghost. Clearly he concerned that Jess had heard our conversation about the night Jeff had kissed me. As much as I had been trying to convince myself that it was nothing, deep down I knew that Jeff and I had to deal with the situation.
I turned and looked at Jessica. I hadn't seen her in quite some time. She looked good, although she had on a lot of makeup for the video shoot. She stood there impatiently, waiting for my response. Her head was cocked slightly to one side.
"Do I think Drew loves me?" I asked. "Yes. I do. But do I think he's going to be there for me emotionally right now. I'd have to say no. Maybe I'm fooling myself into thinking that he loves me."
She walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. After a few moments, I realized she needed me to hold her, probably more than I needed it from her.
"What's wrong?" I whispered into her ear.
She gently let go of me and stepped back slightly.
"Nick and I just got into a fight."
"What about?" Jeff asked, which slightly startled me since I'd nearly forgotten he was there.
"The usual," she sighed.
Before speaking, I glanced over at Jeff and he slightly shook his head indicating that I shouldn't ask.
"I'm sorry," he said. "He's an idiot."
"And it sounds like Drew is following suit. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it."
"What?" I exclaimed. "You love him."
"And you love Drew. But I'm gathering that you're having doubts right now about whether he's the one. Right?"
"Yeah," I admitted.
"Do you still have that ring?" she asked.
I smiled in spite of myself. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small velvet sack. Out slid the ring. For some reason, I'd still carried it around with me, although Drew had never seen it.
"Is that an engagement ring?" Jeff asked.
"Of sorts. But now it's just a piece of metal. I could never give it to him. Not after what I learned this week."
"Never?" Jeff asked.
"I don't think so."
"I'm sorry, Alex," Jess said. She leaned over and kissed me gently on the cheek. "I have to run for my last shot today. It should be fun having Nick right there."
I smiled sympathetically, although I had no idea what there were fighting about.
"Jess?" Jeff said as she was walking away. "How much of what Alex and I were discussing did you hear?"
"Just the last couple sentences. Why?"
"Nothing," he said. "I just don't want to get you involved in my mess."
"Okay, but you know I'm here for either of you."
There was an awkward silence between Jeff and me after Jessica left. We stood there for nearly a minute without talking.
"You didn't tell me you were going to propose."
"I didn't know I needed your permission," I responded, with just a touch of venom.
"You don't."
"Sorry," I said. "That wasn't fair. It wasn't an engagement ring. It was just supposed to show him that I was committed to him. But, right now that doesn't feel like what I want. What about Jess and Nick?"
"Every couple of weeks they get into the same fight. Ironically, it's about getting married."
"Nick's not ready?"
"No," Jeff said. "It's Jess."
That took me by surprise. Although Nick and I had discussed his relationship with Jessica, I had thought it would be her pushing him to get married. Suddenly I felt ashamed at how out of touch things had gotten with my friends. I was so concerned with my own drama with Drew that I had no clue what was going on with anyone else.
"So, what do we do now?" I asked.
"Unfortunately, I have to get back to the set. But, we need to talk, Alex. I can't stand the thought of me ruining our friendship."
"I promise we'll talk." I paused. "Can I ask you one question, Jeff?"
"Of course."
"Did Drew really say that?"
"What?"
"That we fucked last night?"
"Yeah," Jeff said, blushing slightly.
"Is that what he usually says?"
"No. And I'm sorry to say that, Alex. He doesn't usually say much about what you do together. But this morning that's what he said. When we were alone he had told me that he fucked you. Sorry for asking, but was it wilder than usual?"
"No," I said, my turn to blush. "It didn't even last very long. It had been awhile for both of us. I don't know why he would say that. He's never said that before. He always says he wants to make love to me. I'm sorry you had to hear that, Jeff."
"Me, too," he said. "I have to go."
He gently touched me on the arm and turned away. I watched as he walked down to the end of the trailer and he turned and disappeared. My mind was racing, trying to figure out why Drew was acting the way he was. Maybe I was underestimating Drew. Had Drew figured out that Jeff was interested in me and he was simply going out of his way to make it clear that I was his? If that was the case, we had far more problems than I had realized, especially since he was spending all his time with Lea.
I rubbed my eyes, wishing all the drama would just go away. I thought about drinking, but shook off the idea. I wasn't about to let this send me back down that road. Even if I ended up alone, I wasn't going to lose that battle. I'd been through too much to let it beat me. It was time for me to decide what I wanted. Once that decision was made, I could go after it.
To be continued.(soon, I hope)
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