WARNING: This story is sexually-explicit, involving homosexuality. Do not continue if this will offend you. If accessing this story causes you to break local laws (village, town, city, county, province, state, or country, etc.), please leave now.
By continuing, you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to sexually-explicit material.
The content and opinions expressed in this story do not imply anything with regards to the sexual preference of any member of 98 Degrees or any other celebrities named herein. It is a work of fiction entirely.
Special thanks to Matt Hunter for his encouragement. I highly recommend Matt's story, "Search and Rescue", which can be found on the Nifty Archives.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. - Thack
What I Feel For You
Scene 1
I pressed the button for the 17th floor and waited for the elevator doors to close. As I glanced down at my watch, was glad to see that my day was almost over. It wasn't that it had been a busy day, but it's always tough to drag yourself out of bed on Sunday to go to work.
"PBX this is the MOD. I'm starting my walkdown. Over," I spoke into the walkie- talkie.
"Copy that. Have fun, Alex," I heard Roszetta snicker over the radio. I had to laugh myself. Roszetta, one of the hotel operators, knew me so well. So knew that out of all the things I had to do that day, the walkdown was my least favorite. I didn't usually work on Sundays, but that day I was the Manager-On-Duty (or MOD). As MOD you are responsible for the entire hotel and as a result, you have to keep in constant contact with the hotel operators (or PBX). Being responsible for a 357-room hotel with two full- service restaurants sounds like a big deal, but after working there for four years it wasn't too bad. After all, I'd seen just about everything by that point in my career.
The walkdown is pretty much just like it sounds. You start at the top of the hotel and walk all the way through the building. As you walk, you look to make sure that everything is where it should be. You look for room service trays in the hallways and blocked fire exits. It's pretty innocuous but necessary. It's also pretty boring.
I entered the health club, expecting to find it empty on a beautiful summer afternoon. The health club was one of the best features of the hotel. Filled with floor to ceiling windows, it overlooked Downtown Minneapolis. Although the equipment was pretty old, the variety of machines and free weights was much greater than you might find in another hotel.
I glanced over and saw a man working out the Cybex lat-pull down machine. I stood motionless for a moment, admiring his strength. He was facing away from me and I could only see his back. He was wearing bright blue shorts and he had his shirt off. With each repetition I could see the muscles of his back contact and stretch. As I stood there, it dawned on me that I should probably tell him he needed to put his shirt back on but not surprisingly, that didn't happen.
"Good afternoon," I said just as he finished his set.
"What?" he exclaimed as he turned to look at me. He had a grin on his face. "Sneaking up on me, huh?"
Once I saw whom it was I got a little flustered but I hid it pretty well. "Sorry, Mr. Lachey. Purely unintentional. I do that a lot," I responded.
"You'd make a good spy," he chuckled. "Just call me Nick, by the way. I know you need to be all proper in these swanky hotels but I just hate the 'Mr. Lachey' crap."
I smiled, thinking about how out of place I used to feel amidst all the marble and mahogany. I knew that 98 Degrees was staying at the hotel for a couple of weeks but I didn't really think I'd see any of them. My job keeps me out of sight from most of the guests. Although Minneapolis isn't Hollywood, we got a surprising number of celebrities at the hotel. Being the in the Reservations Department, I always knew who was staying with us.
"I'm in charge today," I said as I motioned to the walkie-talkie, "so if there is anything I can get you, let me know. For right now, though, I'll just get out of your way. I know I always get annoyed when people interrupt my workout."
"Fair enough," he responded. "Thanks."
My eyes lingered on him maybe a second longer than they should. I don't know if it was my being star-struck or him being shirtless that did it for me. Honestly, it was probably him being shirtless, though at the time I thought differently. His eyes met mine and I quickly looked down. In that instant I knew he figured me out. I felt the uncontrollable blush show on my face as I quickly turned to leave.
"Damn!" I thought. "I have to stop doing that."
Just as the door to the health club was closing I heard the crash. A split-second later I heard Nick cry out. Spinning around, I saw him lying on the ground, the bar from the exercise machine with the snapped cord resting beside him. As I ran toward him, I could see the pool of blood forming around his head.
"Code 911 in the health club. Code 911 in the health club," I screamed over the walkie- talkie. Stupidly, I let go of it and it shattered in several pieces at my feet.
About four hundred things raced through my mind. I placed my hand on his neck, feeling for a pulse. "Thank God," I thought.
"Nick. Nick! Can you hear me?" I shouted at him. I tried desperately to remember my first aid training.
Behind me I could hear footsteps. Presuming it was the hotel security officer, I turned to get his help. When I saw it wasn't hotel security, I tried to speak but before I could say anything, I saw the fist flying at me. When the punch hit me, I flew back, stumbling over Nick's motionless body. I felt my head slam against the metal of one of the machines behind me. The last thing I remembered was seeing the floor rush toward me just as I blacked out.
Scene 2
I opened my eyes only to be greeted by what I thought was the brightest light I'd ever seen. I quickly closed them and reached over to what should have been the lamp beside my bed. At that point, I realized I wasn't in my own bed.
"Look who is back in the land of the living," I heard a voice from across the room.
"Mike?" I asked hesitantly.
"The one and only," was the reply.
"What in the hell happened?" I asked, thoroughly confused. By this time I had slowly opened my eyes and Mike was standing over me. He was grinning slightly but I could read something else in his eyes. We had been best friends for about four years now. There was little we didn't know about each other and even less that we could hide from one another. I could see that he was worried, which made me even more uncomfortable.
"I don't know all the details," he tried to explain. "All I know is that you were on the receiving end of one nasty right cross. You've been out since yesterday afternoon." He paused briefly to see if any of it was registering with me. Then, in his typical fashion, he laid into me. "Oh, and I know all of this because you listed me as your emergency contact. I had to spend the night in that chair over there. But don't worry," he laughed, "I'll send you the bill from my chiropractor."
He started laughing, not because it was funny but because he wanted to lighten the mood. I started laughing too, but then the pain shot through my shoulder. Mike saw the look on my face and he immediately tried to keep me from moving. He placed one hand on my right shoulder and he grabbed my right hand with his other hand.
"Try not to move," he cautioned. "You have a dislocated left shoulder. Not to mention the fourteen stitches in the back of you head."
Suddenly it all flooded back to me. I remembered being at work and I remembered Nick. "Nick?" I said out loud, not sure what else to say.
Mike picked up on my train of thought. That's the real benefit of knowing someone that well. Even when you don't have the words, you don't usually need them. "He's next door, or at least he was last night. He got off pretty easy. Just a couple of stitches. They kept him overnight because he had a mild concussion." He watched me as I tried to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together in my mind. As I was trying to think, it dawned on me that my head was pounding. "There's one other thing I should probably tell you," Mike said quietly. "It's about the guy who hit you."
Just then the door of the hospital room swung open. Three guys walked in. I immediately recognized them as Jeff, Drew, and Justin-the other members of 98 Degrees. I looked up at Mike, who was still holding my hand. When the guys entered the room, I felt him tighten his grip on me. Mike looked into my eyes and I could tell he didn't know what to do. I looked across the room and my glance fell on Jeff. He had a strange look on his face, a combination of guilt and fear. He was looking right at me but when my eyes met his. He quickly looked down.
"This is not a good idea," I heard. I don't remember if it was Justin or Drew that said it because everything came back to me at that instant. It was almost like a scene from a made for TV movie. I flashed back to the health club. This time, instead of seeing just a fist flying at me, I saw then man who was throwing the punch.
Adrenaline took over and somehow I managed to sit upright, even with Mike trying to hold me down. "Get the fuck out of here!" I screamed, staring right at Jeff.
He stood there, apparently in shock. No one moved for about 10 seconds. The only sound was my breathing as I was almost hyperventilating. Justin pulled Jeff out of the room just in time for my body to realize just how much pain it was in. My shoulder was throbbing now and my head felt like it was about to explode. I leaned back in the bed as my field of vision began to narrow. I fought with everything I had to keep from blacking out but I quickly lost the battle.
When I opened my eyes I saw Drew standing over me. I tried to read his expression but I was unsuccessful. I admit that I was a little confused as to what was going on and he must have picked up on that.
"Everything's okay," he said in a soft, gentle tone.
At that point I realized he was holding my wrist, which I thought was rather odd. Then I realized he was taking my pulse. I got a little spooked by that and I quickly scanned the room for Mike.
"He went to get the doctor," Drew said, reading my mind. "But don't worry. You're going to be fine." He could see the puzzled look on my face as I tried to piece everything together. "You passed out from the pain, which is a fairly common reaction to a high stress situation like the one you were in." He paused. "Like the one we put you in," he added as almost an afterthought. "Your heart rate is a bit high but I wouldn't be worried about it."
As he let go of my arm I looked away from him. I didn't want him to see the tears that were welling in my eyes. It was all just too much to take. Just yesterday, or what I assumed to be yesterday since I didn't have a very good concept of time right then, everything was fine. I was living my life and everything was good. "Damn it!" I thought to myself. "Pull it together, Alex." I had been through so much in the past couple of years and it had made a strong person. Until that moment, I thought I was able to handle anything. I felt the tears start to stream down my face and I could do nothing to make them stop.
"Shhh," Drew whispered as he grabbed my hand. "It's going to be okay. I promise."
I didn't know what to feel. Here was a man I had never met before telling me I was going to be fine when it was his brother and friend that put me there in the first place. I almost started laughing at the absurdity of it all. A couple of minutes passed and he finally let go of my hand.
"So do you want to explain how I got here," I asked when I was finally able to talk.
Just as Drew was about to say something, Mike walked in. "The doc is on his way," he announced.
"I should probably go," Drew said as he moved toward the door, clearly uncomfortable with Mike in the room. Although Mike is one of the sweetest guys I know, he can look pretty intimidating when he wants to.
"No!" I said rather forcefully. "You were going to explain to me why I'm laid up in the hospital."
I glanced at Mike and he picked up on my idea. He moved slightly toward the door and crossed his arms across his chest. It was good to have him in my corner, especially his 210 pounds of muscle.
Drew stopped dead in his tracks, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle without some form of confrontation. He stood there for a moment, trying to decide to address Mike or me. He finally chose me and moved to the side of the bed.
"I'm not going to excuse what Jeff did, but I understand it." He paused, perhaps waiting for Mike to say something. When he heard the silence, he slowly continued. "See, we don't really live in the same world that you do. Everything we do is watched and critiqued. We have people telling us what to say and who to be seen with and it's not easy." He must have sensed what I was thinking because he continued quickly. "I'm not saying that it's not worth it. I mean, we are getting to do the thing we love and I'm lucky enough to be doing it with my brother. But you just have to realize that our world is different than yours."
Mike cut him off. "Get to the point, Drew," he said with a decidedly hostile tone.
Drew turned to Mike and glared. "Okay, you want me to get to the point," he spat back. "Here it is," he said, looking directly at Mike. "Everywhere we go, we have people who treat us like we're long lost friends. We never know if it's because they like us or if it's because they want something from us. Because of that, we tend to keep to ourselves. See, Jeff and Nick have a friendship that's very strong. It's something that I've never seen before. It's something I've always wanted to have."
He stopped and looked down at me. I could see the pain in his eyes. It was one of the saddest things I'd ever seen in another human being. He looked absolutely alone. He looked like he had no one to turn to to let out his anger and frustration.
"So Jeff came into the health club," I said quietly.
Drew nodded. "And he lost it. He'd do anything to protect Nick. You were in the way so he hit you. He just wanted to help my brother." A single tear slipped down his cheek.
At that moment the doctor came flying in the door to check on me. Drew, obviously confused and embarrassed took the opportunity to escape. As Drew passed through the open door, I saw Mike follow him out.
Scene 3
It was Tuesday morning and I was pretty desperate to get out of the hospital. The doctor told me he would release me that afternoon but I was going to have to take the rest of the week off from work. Honestly, that wasn't going to be a problem for me. Working at the hotel was okay but it wasn't a dream job for me. I also didn't relish the thought of reliving everything that had happened to me each time I saw someone else at work.
I was absentmindedly flipping through the channels on the TV and I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew there was a woman kissing me on the cheek.
"Jesus," I muttered. "Are you trying to finish me off by scaring me to death?"
I, of course, knew who it was. When I opened my eyes I was looking at my friend Sharon. Sharon and I had met a little over two years ago. She was the Director of Guest Services at the hotel. She told everyone she was 29 and one day I stole her wallet and found out that she was telling the truth. She is a tall, absolutely gorgeous black woman. Growing up in a city that is decidedly white made Sharon a tough, independent spitfire of a woman. She always knew exactly how to put me in my place.
"Listen, honey. That's the only kiss you're going to get from a woman in the next year so you better lie back and enjoy it."
"Bitch!" I retorted, trying not to laugh.
She looked down at me and saw the sling that was protecting my left shoulder. The laughter drained from her face. "I didn't hear until last night and it was after visiting hours. I'm sorry I couldn't have been here for you." She again leaned down and kissed me again on the cheek.
"It's okay, really," I responded, trying to make her feel better. "I was kind of out of it until yesterday anyway so if you would have come all you could have done is talk to my bodyguard anyway."
"So Mike was here?" she asked, almost rhetorically.
"Yeah, the lunkhead was here for something like 38 hours straight. Once I finally woke up I had to practically kick him out of here. Chances are he'll be back before I'm released this afternoon."
"So, do you want to hear all the gossip?" she grinned. She was practically bubbling with excitement. "You definitely were the main topic of conversation around the water cooler. Well, you and Ally McBeal but I'll spare you that part of the story."
"Oh, no! I really hate it when people talk about me behind my back," I said. "So, what's the story?"
"Well," she began, "you know what kind of rumor mill the hotel is. There were about six different versions of the incident floating around. I think was favorite one had you trying to stop an armed robbery. Like an armed robber would stake a claim on someone working out at the hotel health club. Hello? Idiots?"
"Let me guess who was spreading that one," I interrupted.
"I am sworn to secrecy," she laughed. "But I bet you can guess. Anyway, it got so bad the Executive Committee finally put out a memo."
"Great, I'm the subject of a memo now. I'm never going to live this one down."
"No, you're not. And you know me well enough to know that I'm the person who will be reminding you every chance I get."
"Of that," I said, "I have no doubt. So what did the memo say?"
"Oh, I saved you a copy for your scrapbook," she said as she winked at me. "It said you were attempting to administer first aid to a guest when you were involved in an altercation with another guest. It also said that you were hospitalized and were expected to make a full recovery."
"An altercation?" I laughed. "They call getting sucker punched and knocked out an 'altercation'?"
"Well, they are trying to minimize the situation because they are afraid you are going to sue," Sharon reasoned. "I imagine Jeff Timmons is worried about that as well."
"The police came by early this morning," I said. "I told them I wasn't going to press charges."
"Why not?" she asked, obviously surprised to hear me say that. "If I were you I'd."
Before she could continue I interrupted. "Think about what you are about to say. I doubt you would do it either. I just don't relish the thought of going to court. It would take too much out of me. Not to mention the media circus it would become. As much as I want that bastard pay for putting me here, I just want to forget this all happened."
Just after I said the words, I saw the figure standing in the doorway. "He's not a bastard. He was just trying to protect me." It was Nick. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his upper body. He also had a bandage that was presumably covering the stitches on his left temple.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I felt bad because I had said something that hateful about another person or if it was just because Nick heard me say it. One thing I always try to avoid is confrontation. I knew I had strong feelings about Jeff because of the way I screamed at him yesterday. I grew increasingly uncomfortable with the silence in the room. I was hoping that Sharon would say something, but she was just looking down at me.
Nick moved from his position in the doorway and stood at the end of the bed. He looked over at Sharon, giving her a look. Being in charge of Guest Services, I was confident that Sharon had already met Nick. She seemed to understand what Nick was silently asking her and she said, "Maybe I'll go in search of a cup of coffee. Does anyone else want anything?" What that, she left the room, not even waiting for us to reply.
"He's not a bad guy," Nick said softly. "He was just trying to protect me."
"Too bad there wasn't anyone there protecting me," I said with hostility.
"Judging by the way your friends have rallied around you, it looks like you have quite a few people protecting you," he responded. "Drew told me that your friend Mike never left your side when you were unconscious. He also said that Mike practically threatened him to keep Jeff away from you."
"Really?" I said out loud, even though I didn't really mean to. "He wouldn't do anything," I said. "Not unless I was really in danger or something. He can come across intimidating as hell but he's not dangerous."
With that statement, I knew I was trapped. I could see Nick smiling slightly. He opened the door and I walked through on my own. In my own defense, I was a little groggy from the pain medication they had me on.
"So you see my point?" he inquired.
I nodded my head in surrender.
"See, Mike isn't any different from Jeff. I'd say we're both pretty lucky guys to have friends like that." He paused for a moment to let that thought sink in.
I nodded again.
"Don't you have professional guards?" I asked.
"Of course we do. But Jeff and I have kind of a different relationship. Each of us has relied on the other when things get rough, although it seems like he does a lot more for me than I do for him."
In mid thought, Nick stopped. It was almost as if he were assessing the situation, trying to decide how much he wanted to reveal. He stepped around the side of the bed and sat down on the mattress,
"Alex, do you have a brother?" he asked.
"No," I replied. "I don't have any brothers or sisters. Why?"
"I love Drew dearly," he began, "but we haven't always had the best relationship. We've gotten past a lot of that, but there are still times when it's not good. Years ago, he and I had a major blow out. Without going into detail, let's just say I did some things that were pretty inexcusable. I caused a major rift in our family and neither of us thought we could fix it." He hesitated a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I had only known Jeff for a short time. We were friends but we weren't that close. He took a big risk and jumped in the fray. He was the one who got me and Drew talking again. He saved my family, Alex, and I'm lucky to have him as a friend."
I felt like I should have said something but I couldn't. Here I was, listening to testimony that Jeff was a great guy when all I could think about was the fact that he knocked me out. After all, I was the one trying to help Nick when he got hurt. I started to wonder why I was the one laid up in the hospital.
"He's not a bad guy, Alex," Nick repeated.
I don't know how long I was lost in thought, but Nick's words brought me out of it. "I understand what you are saying," I replied. "I understand probably more than you know, but it's really not as simple as just saying he was protecting you. I was unconscious for almost 24 hours, Nick. Mike was terrified I wasn't going to wake up. That's not something I can just let slide." I was beginning to get visibly angry and Nick could see it.
"I know," he pleaded. "Does it help to know that Jeff is beside himself about all of this?"
"Frankly, no."
"But."
"But what, Nick?" I said. Several seconds went by and I realized he wasn't going to say anything. I was feeling a bit drained by that point so I said, "I can't talk about this anymore."
"Okay," he said, "but can I just ask you one more thing?"
"What?" I sighed.
"Will you talk to Jeff?" he said hesitantly.
"No!" I exclaimed without thought. "I don't ever want to see him again!"
"He just wants to apologize, Alex. Will you at least hear him out?"
"No," I said again. "Tell him I'm not pressing charges against him but that is all he should expect out of me." I noticed I was starting to breathe heavy. The conversation was taking its toll on me. Nick picked up on it.
He reached out and grabbed my right hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry I upset you. And I'm sorry, from me, that we did this to you. If there is anything I can do for you, please call me."
With that, Nick stood up and turned to walk out the door. As he got to the door he looked back at me. The glare from the florescent lights made it hard to tell, but I thought I saw a tear slide down his cheek.
Scene 4
Almost 48 hours after I was knocked out at the hotel, I was sprung from the hospital. Naturally, I was ecstatic about getting out of the place. Sharon had left about noon so she could make it to work by one. I was planning on calling a cab but as I was signing myself out I saw Mike walking over to me.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have clients to train this afternoon?"
"First of all," he grinned, "you have an appointment scheduled for six o'clock, which is in about 45 minutes. Somehow I don't think you're going to make it. And don't think I'm not above billing you for not following my cancellation policy."
"Smart ass," I grinned back.
He got serious all of a sudden. "You really think I was going to let you be home alone? You just spent two days in the hospital."
"What? A concussion, stitches, and a separated shoulder and suddenly I'm McCauley Culkin?" I tried to say it without laughing but I wasn't too successful.
"Alright funny man. Let's go."
Mike tore out the parking lot, driving with the same reckless abandon that usually characterizes his skills behind the wheel. It wasn't too far from the hospital to my condo, which was a good thing because I was still in a lot of pain. Every bump or turn the car made caused me to wince. My shoulder was still pretty sore and I was glad that Mike was going to be there for me.
Mike pulled into the parking lot of my building. Once he stopped the engine he jumped out and ran around the car to open the passenger side door for me. I tried to stifle the grin. There was this huge bodybuilder doing everything in his power to make me feel better.
"So," Mike said after we walked into my place, "what do you want to eat?"
"I'm fine, Mike. I just want to sit down for awhile."
"No," came his reply. After a pause, he said, "I mean, you can sit down but you are going to have something to eat. When was the last time you ate? Sometime this morning I imagine. You're not going to get better if you don't take care of yourself."
Before I could speak he disappeared into the kitchen, but only for a moment. "New plan," he stated. "I'm going to the grocery store and then we eat. Are you going to be okay alone?"
"Yes, mother!" I said as sarcastically as possible.
He walked over to me and shot me an evil look. "I'm the only mamma you've got around here so you better get used to me." He turned to walk out the door. "And trust me, Alex, you will be eating your vegetables tonight," he yelled from the hallway.
I kicked off my shoes and flipped on the TV. I was still a little confused as to what day it was so I wasn't sure what I'd find. I must have fallen asleep on the couch because the next thing I knew I was jolted awake by the sound of the phone ringing. Fortunately, it was within reach of my one good arm.
"Carrots and broccoli," I said into the receiver, thinking it was Mike calling me from the grocery store on his cell phone.
"Huh?" I heard from an unfamiliar voice.
"Sorry," I chuckled. "I thought you were someone else."
"Alex, please don't hang up. This is Jeff."
For a split second my mind flashed back to the health club. I could see Jeff looking at me with hatred in his eyes just before he hit me.
"Alex, are you still there?" he said softly.
Gathering my thoughts, I finally pulled it together enough to speak. "What do you want?" I said viciously.
"I just want to talk. Will you talk to me?"
"You know, Jeff," I said, "I don't think that's a very good idea. I really just want to forget this whole ordeal."
"Alex, I'm downstairs. Please let me come apologize. Please."
I grabbed my TV remote and turned on channel six. My building has security doors and a camera by the phone so you can see who is asking to be let in. Through the grainy picture I could see Jeff hunched over, his hand resting on the counter next to phone.
I was now seething. "How did you find out where I live?"
"Your friend at the hotel told me."
"Like hell she did," I practically screamed. "Sharon would never do that."
"Okay," he confessed. "I had our management track you down. Please," he said. I could here the sobs through his voice. "I need to explain."
Neither of us spoke for about twenty seconds. The only sound was Jeff crying. I could see his image on the TV screen in front of me. "Please," he finally whispered.
My heart sank. I knew I could never forgive myself for sending him away in that condition. I couldn't do to him what he had done to me.
"It's number 1403," I said as I buzzed him in.
It took Jeff longer than I thought it would to get to my door. I imagine he was trying to pull himself together. I finally heard to soft rap on the door. Without waiting for my response he let himself in. He walked in to find me still sitting on the couch, staring at the TV picture of the empty lobby of my building.
"I'm sorry," he said simply. I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were still red from the tears that had flowed just moments ago. In fact, he looked as though he was about to cry at that very moment.
"What do you want to say?" I said flatly, trying to disguise the emotion in my voice.
"I...I..." he stammered.
There was a long, awkward pause. Then we both heard the front door open. Jeff looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, not sure who had entered. I heard Mike carry the groceries into the kitchen. I looked past Jeff and saw Mike enter the room.
"What the fuck!" Mike yelled.
Mike's words were enough to startle Jeff but they didn't give him enough time to respond. Before I could speak, Mike was lunging at Jeff.