This document contains homosexual themes and acts. If you are underage or don't like the subject, then don't read it.
The story is not autobiographical and is a product of the writer's fertile imagination.
Comments welcomed preecherdave@gmail.com
Author's Note
I had an email from a reader of a previous story saying that I should write something about people in their forties with all those complications. It was an interesting suggestion so I decided to take on the task. This story is going to take a little longer to set up. The beginning is sombre but it sets the scene. It does deal with some interesting issues. It does lighten up. There are some good scenes in it! Stay with me.
As they left the chapel, Susan held his hand and Robbie had his arm around his shoulder. He was just holding the tears back. It had been a long, hard, few months but the end did ease some of his pain but it gave no release. As his aunt had said years before, as they left the cemetery after his uncle's funeral, "This is just the beginning of reality."
The pain and suffering for Margie were over and he had to be thankful for that but he was now alone with just the memories to haunt his days and nights. He knew that they would pass, everyone said so but how he felt the void. His consolation was his son Robbie and his equally wonderful daughter Susan. He had to be strong for them as they were in their third and second year of University and they had an academic year to finish. Margie would never want that to be spoiled. So the tears were held at bay and he put on his strong, decisive front. As many have noted, the activity and the obligations at such a time keep us occupied and focused on the formalities of life. Strange that, with death as the central part of it all. Reality only impinges later.
At the reception, they greeted, talked and received condolences, all of them truly meant. The reception finally ended and it was just his family and Margies family left. He looked at Margies mother, Barbara and went over and held her, not speaking. The tears did come as they had to. They said consoling things to each other and it helped. There was no grave side burial. He had suggested a small family get together to inter the ashes on a nice Spring day, not this horrible day in winter with snow and ice and freezing temperatures. He hoped that it would be a time of renewal in nature and they would have had a chance to get their lives together. They would have a perspective and he hoped their lives would be in some order.
He insisted that the kids leave for school two days after the funeral. He was left with a physically vacant house but one filled with memories. Margie and he had been married for 22 years. He knew that they had been good years. All relationships have their ups and downs but they had met all the problems head on and had had a good marriage. They enjoyed most of the same things and each could laugh at themselves and each other. They were best friends.
Until the last months, they had had a strong physical relationship, often very passionate. The doctors had warned him that the medications, the spreading cancer and her own mental struggle would play havoc with that aspect of their lives. Even up to the last month, Margie had tried to let him know physically how much he meant to her. He could remember the last time they made love and it brought him to tears several times in recollection. During one of their last talks, she made him promise to mourn but then to get on with his life. She was explicit about it. "Brian, you are a wonderful, lusty man. You have a lot to offer. No matter what anyone says you have my blessing to find someone and get on with your life." She even feebly laughed when she said that she should make that plural for him.
He had never looked at another woman. It was one of the awful realities of a close relationships. You had friends and family but that relationship was core to your life. When it ended, there was a huge rent in the fabric of your life. He knew that he had to start to rebuild for his sake and the kids.
In the weeks following the funeral, he had lots to keep him busy, clearing and cleaning up the house, wrapping up all the estate questions. Slowly, he got rid of clothes and shoes to charities and threw out medications and makeup. He boxed up the jewellery and keepsakes for the kids to go through during the summer. He did find himself at home by himself more often than usual. That was when there were dark times, when he was alone in the house. Little things would suddenly bring back a memory and he would be in tears. He thought of inviting out some of women who had given him invitations but he just didn't want to. He started staying longer at work and then weekends became the dark times. He went to movies and to the orchestra but each time, Margie's absence or the empty seat beside him, hit hard. He was upbeat when the kids called but it was an act. He had to get started on his new life.
Work was a central part; no changes there. In fact, it became his life line. He was an accountant and the financial officer of a successful business. Both of them had saved money and invested towards retirement. He had made some very good investments and he had started as a young man. She had a large life insurance policy as part of her portfolio and he would put that money aside for the kids' education and start in life. It was under his control now but eventually when they got started, he would slowly shift it over to them. When he looked at his skill set, his salary and the money put aside by both of them, he was well off.
During her sickness, he had let himself go a bit. He had lost weight in the last months and had been fairly sedentary. He joined a good health club, downtown, close to his work that had excellent weight and cardio facilities. He became a regular. It helped. He kept up his scheduled card nights with the guys and accepted invitations to dine.
That is when some difficulties arose. Almost all his friends and some of Margies invited unattached women to take her place to even out the numbers. He just didn't have the heart to tell them to stop. They quickly heard that he was not interested. He noticed that there were fewer invitations for him to their dinner parties.
He had struck up conversations with some of the other members of the health club but he never mentioned his situation to any of them. He kept up a lively discourse with several. One evening after a late day at work, he finished his workout to discover that one of these members, Paul, was just finishing up as well. He was one of the guys he found most interesting. Their banter led to talk of food and supper and a decision to go to a local pub for a bit of food and a beer. He hadn't done anything like that for years. He certainly had nothing else to do.
Paul was a senior executive of large firm in the city. In fact, Brian got the impression that he was a key person in the firm but Paul didn't talk much about it. He was well spoken, very knowledgeable and interested in some sports, music, film and theatre. They were roughly the same age and for whatever reason, Paul appeared to lead a single life. Both seemed to stay away from that personal topic. The conversation was wide ranging, lively and interesting. They repeated that meal out a couple of times in the next couple of weeks. They both seemed to enjoy the company and the stimulation. He realized several times that that was one of the many things that had endeared Margie to him.
Brian had a ticket for a performance at the Centre for the Performing Arts the next Wednesday. He had not enjoyed going by himself to the concert three weeks ago with the reminder of the empty seat beside him and he offered the ticket to Paul. Paul asked if he was sure and Brian had raised his eyebrows and jokingly said that when he made an offer, he meant it. Paul had smiled and said that he would enjoy it; it sounded like a good concert. They arranged to meet for supper before the performance.
Then it was off to plan the dinner; he had invited a few friends for Saturday night. He was actually a good cook but their diet in the last months had left him out of practice. By Saturday at 4, he had it all together including hors d'oeuvres with really good wines, scotch and cognac. He made the point of inviting couples and some single friends from work. He made it clear that there was no one there for him and he didn't care. He established that Margie was someone they could talk about. He had to wipe 'dirt' off his eye a couple of time when memories became a little too difficult but he felt that they had a good evening. The meal received high praise and the evening had been lively with fun and wit. He had established that he was single and could entertain, both to his friends and to himself. A few more invitations started to turn up again.
The next Wednesday, he and Paul met at a good restaurant near the Centre. Paul had researched the pieces being played as had Brian and they had a lively discussion about the concert. Both could hold their own in the discussion. It had been lively and challenging. During the performance, Brian had looked at Paul out of the corner of his eye. His eyes were closed and he had a look of total concentration and enjoyment. At the end of the concert as they made their way out, Paul turned to Brian and told him that it had been brilliant. Brian responded slighly that he had been watching too much British TV with the word brilliant. A slow smile crept across his face, as he admitted that he was guilty as charged.
Back at Paul's condo, they discovered that they did have the same taste in TV and a lot of it was British. Brian was blown away by his selection of scotch. He savoured his dram of Langavulin, promising himself to spend the money and have some in the house. Paul mentioned a film, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, that he was interested in and Brian spontaneously said that they should go some night. Paul had hesitated but then agreed that it was a good idea.
As Brian was leaving, Paul thanked him yet again. "Brian I don't know when I have had such a good evening in a long time. Thanks so much for the ticket."
On his drive back home, Brian felt satisfied. It was almost two months since that awful day in January. He felt that some of the darkness had been lifted from him. He had entertained over the weekend and he had just had another really good evening with his new friend. Margie would be pleased for him. He gave her a soft thank you for her encouragement to get on with his life.
Paul had enjoyed himself a great deal, perhaps too much. He realized that he was getting to like this guy. This was the first time that he had let his emotions engage. He was still disengaged after Luke's departure over two years ago for the new job. They had promised to remain friends but it had become clear after a couple of visits to see him that Luke had moved away and he had moved on as well. Luke virtually said that to him on the last visit. It still hurt and he had little feeling left for the man he had lived with. He had some friends that allowed him a sexual outlet when he really needed it but on the whole he had not let himself go forward. It was difficult when you reached a certain age. Many of the people he met were paired up and many of the singles were just ... not compatible. He saw the ring on Brian's finger and realized that there was some story and he was sure that it wasn't gay. He figured that before this went much further, they would have to talk. He did want to find out Brian's story.
If he were honest, he was a bit scared. He found so many of the guys he met shallow or just not interesting. He had thought everyone was going well between him and Luke. The departure was not discussed but presented as a fait accompli. He still wondered if there was something that he did or didn't do. There was always that lingering doubt about himself. He put his thoughts aside and, with resignation, decided on the talk with Brian.
He decided to step back from seeing Brian for a week to let him get some perspective. He planned to go dancing with some friends on the weekend and perhaps do a bit more than dance. In fact, he met a young guy who professed to like 'older' guys; that made him feel really great. Damn it, forty five didn't feel old to him but then he remembered when he was in his 20s and 30s and it did seem ancient then. However, the guy was enthusiastic in bed and they were awake a lot of the night. He had never been sucked dry like that in his life. The next morning, both were walking tenderly and his cock actually was very sensitive from all the activity. But he still had the feeling of let down when he was alone after the guy left. Sometimes it was just better to use the hand.
Brian and Paul emailed each other and saw each other at the health club and made arrangements for supper and the film for Friday night.
After the movie they went back to Paul's. With drinks in their hands, they talked about the eccentricity of the movie and how British it was. Both commented that they were often the only ones in the theatre laughing. As usual they had fun discussing the film, both coming at it from different perspectives.
Finally, Paul looked intently at Brian. "We have not talked very much our personal lives. It appears that we are both single but it doesn't go much farther than that. There is something that I have to tell you, now.
Brian recognized the words and the tone. There must be a problem. Was it him? Had he presumed too much on a new friend? Was there a relationship with someone else? He looked at Paul, "It sounds as if you have something on your mind. The 'now' sounds a bit ominous."
"I have really come to enjoy our friendship so much."
"But ...." Brian smiled and prepared.
"Yes and maybe a big but. I feel as if I am here under false pretences. I haven't told you an important fact about myself." He paused looking apologetic. "This could change everything. I am gay."
Brian processed that statement. His mind flipped through all sorts of thoughts. Paul certainly didn't act like any stereotype. He would never have guessed. Brian was pro gay marriage. He knew gay guys at work; some were in the card group. He knew some of them well, enjoyed their company. No problems. He and Margie had gone through that issue in case any of their kids were gay. Their decision was who cares.
Brian decided on flippant. "Yeah, so?" He looked at Paul and waited. The silence stretched out. Paul looked as if he didn't know what to say. Brian decided to break it. "Are you telling me that a gay and a straight man cannot be friends? Don't you think that we have proven that wrong?"
"Well it's not that simple ...."
Brian interrupted, "It isn't? So your partner or lover is telling you to stop this nonsense?"
"I'm not in a relationship at present and haven't been for a couple of years."
"So you are not enjoying our time together?" He paused, looking questioningly at Paul. "Maybe I should tell you about my recent past." Looking relieved, Paul nodded to go ahead. "I was married and have two young adults at University. My wife died of cancer in early January. We had a good marriage and she told me in one of our last talks to move on and have a life." Unexpectedly, as it often did at odd times over some remembrance, his voice cracked and moisture formed in his eyes." He struggled and brought himself under control. "You have helped me get my life back on track with your friendship." He gave Paul a weak smile and a shrug of his shoulders. "There, can I lay the guilt on any thicker?" He stopped, embarrassed at his emotional response but he was still smiling weakly.
"Oh, shit, Brian I am so sorry. No, I enjoy your company a great deal. Tonight has been just great."
Brian wanted to break the tension and the mood. He paused and a crazy idea popped into my head. Where from, he didn't know. He couldn't help himself as he broke out with his best baritone voice into a rendition of, 'Tonight' from West Side Story. He had a good memory for tunes and lyrics.
Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night. Tonight, there will be no morning star. Tonight, I'll see my love to night. And for us stars will stop where they are.
It worked. By the time he was finished, Paul was clapping and laughing very hard. "OK, so much for my little tale about me. It appears you don't give a damn about my orientation."
"Oh, so perceptive, Paul. Thank you. I think I need more scotch after that performance. But I do want to hear more about your situation ... now."
"First, Brian can I give you hug?"
"Just don't feel me up," he paused, "Tonight."
"You are outrageous." He laughed but gave him a strange look. Then he gave him the manly hug, strong hug with pats on the back, not pulling him too close to his, uh, private parts. He was good at it.
At Brian's insistence, he then quickly explained about Luke and their relationship. Brian's only comment was that Luke must be nuts. That got a small, appreciative smile from Paul. They made plans for some activities in the next few weeks that took them into late March.
Brian paid a flying visit to the University to discover that the telephone calls were correct. Robbie and Susan were managing with the help of friends. They had a great time out for supper and he met some of their friends including one good looking young man and a very lovely young lady. It was a wonderful weekend and he came back to the city rejuvenated. He thanked his lucky stars.
His workouts were paying off as he gained weight but no flab. He felt fit. He noticed that finally his libido was returning. It was strange that his libido had returned but he felt no great desire to rush out and date anyone. There were some women in the office that made it quite clear that they would not mind going out with him. First, he wanted nothing to do with an office affair or romance. Secondly, he was not intending to get tied down at this point. Thirdly, he didn't seem to be interested.
He met Paul quite often for supper and when the weather permitted they got out on their bicycles by themselves or with some of Paul's gay friends. It turned out the friends were a great bunch. He became affectionately know as the straight one or sometimes just Straight. He came to really enjoy his time with them.
There had been many sexual remarks and innuendos that the guys made while out biking. They talked about the club and dancing and who was with whom, doing what. He had become just one of the guys. He began to look at them in a different light. Not different exactly but he saw their humour, their fears, their intellect, their insecurities and their dreams. They were no different than him.
One night, after being out with them biking when they had been very explicit and outrageously funny, he was on the internet and put in a search, just using the word gay. He got a huge number of hits. He refined his search and tried first, gay writing and then later explicit gay sex. One site was the Nifty Archives and he read some of the stories. Wow, they were explicit with a wide range of themes and writing styles. He wondered what explicit gay sex would bring up. He was surprised when he actually found short and long videos of men having sex which left nothing to the imagination.
At first, he was shocked as he watched them sucking, kissing and fucking each other in every position. Then he started to reflect on him and Margie. They had had sex, sitting, lying down, standing, in every room of the house and cottage and outside at the cottage. He loved it when she had a huge orgasm that he could feel as she contracted around him. They had enjoyed oral sex. Margie had even tasted his semen many times and had shared it with him. They liked and kissed almost every part of each others body. He loved giving her oral sex. He loved the taste and the pleasure that it gave her. He often had even gone down on her after he had ejaculated into her. Many times he could taste himself as she had an orgasm while stimulating her with his tongue. He got hard and used his hand.
A night later he watched some more of the videos. He started to watch the men and their bodies. They were usually good looking, well built young men. Some were cute; some ruggedly handsome. Many were smooth but some had a covering of nice hair like him. They had obviously been chosen because their erections were quite a bit larger than the average 6 – 6.5 inches. He knew that they were actors but they did seem to enjoy what they were doing. He was certain that he had the same look on his face when he had climaxed with Margie. He had become hard and using his hand while watching them, he had had one of his strongest ejaculations in a long time. The same thing happened a few nights later and he tasted a large amount of his semen that was on his hand and fingers. Not disgusting. Somehow it put gay sex in a different perspective for him. They were just like him; except they were oriented to men. Simple actually.
A few night later, when he and Paul had gone to a movie and were having drinks afterwards, he found himself looking at him in a different way. They had had a spirited discussion of the film and that had led to a wider discussion of politics and poverty. Paul had gotten up to get some more scotch. It was as if he had never seen him before. He saw a man 6 feet in height, good looking with a strong jaw and fine features. Tall slim build with a nice chest. Then he saw his rear end nicely shaped by his khakis, he thought it was called a bubble butt and when he walked back, he could just see the outline of a bulge in the front. His body reacted. That had never happened before.
He thanked him for the drink as he noticed the strong hands and the light hair on the arms. He wanted to hit himself to stop this nonsense. This was his friend, Paul. Stop. Talk. He willed himself back into the conversation. If Paul noticed his lapse, he showed no signs.
After he left Paul, he began to think about his reaction to him tonight. He had read or heard that a person's sexual orientation was not necessarily clear cut. Some people were totally heterosexual or totally gay but others were in the middle and could have heterosexual and same sex sex relationships or experiences. Was he one of those? It was clear that he and Paul were very close in spirit and temperament. They had become quite close. In fact, he began to realize that he felt about Paul much the same ways he had felt about Margie in their early stages of getting to know each other. He enjoyed being with him and looked forward to their time together. He planned things around him. Could he go to the next stage? Did he want to? Then there were the children to think about. How would they react? Was it fair to Paul for him to experiment and fail? He didn't want to hurt Paul, ever, or mislead him. This was going to take a lot of thought.
Two nights later he had a very sexually charged dream in which he had man to man sex with someone who looked very much like Paul. He woke up from the dream, hard and could only go back to sleep by masturbating. As his climax hit, Paul's face came into his mind. He certainly put that in his file for further thought. His mind was a jumble of thoughts over the next days.
He had developed a nice rhythm to his new life. Work, workouts often with Paul, suppers out often with Paul, card nights, the odd night at the pub with friends from work, bike rides by himself or with Paul or with their group of friends and the occasional supper invitation from old friends. There were often several calls a week from the kids to keeps tabs on each other. He was getting on with his life. It was different than he had expected but he liked it more than he would ever have guessed. He realized more and more that Paul was in the centre of it.
Mid April was approaching and he knew that he should go up and start opening up the cottage to make certain that there was no winter damage. He decided to ask Paul if he would like to join him. He really enjoyed being with him. It would be interesting to spend a couple of days with him to see how they were together over a couple of days. He could use the help and they could watch some movies and read on the one night they were there. They had actually seen a fair amount of each other in the last few weeks. He felt really at home with Paul. In fact, he couldn't image him not being around. They could talk and debate for hours or be quiet and do things by themselves. His thoughts were rambling again.
Paul said that he would like to go. But, he was beginning to have reservations, not about Brian, but about how he was getting very attached to this man. He had gone back to the club a few times and had picked someone up but it all seemed so tawdry to him after it was all over. He thought back many times to his life with Luke. He realized that he actually enjoyed Brian more and trusted him more. But there appeared to be no chance for anything but friendship. He didn't know what to do. Admit his feelings. Back off. Let things take their course. He had never been in this position before.
They had decided to leave early on Saturday and come back mid afternoon on Sunday. They took Brian's Kindle and Paul's Kobo, the Saturday paper was on Brian's Kindle and a couple of movies on Brian's iPad as he had a small wide screen TV at the cottage. Brian had gone out and bought some Langavulin, a couple of good wines, some beer and an excellent bourbon; he was going to leave most of it there for the summer stock. They stopped for a quick breakfast and coffee, a ritual that Brian and Margie had always followed.
They arrived in mid morning on one of those beautiful April days. The temperature was a warm16 Celsius and heading for a sunny 21 or 22 Celsius; the perfect spring day. There were spring wildflowers out in the woods as they drove up. The smell was intoxicating as the woodlands came back to life. There was a soft breeze through the trees and the pines were making that lovely soft sound as the breeze passed through the branches.
Brian did a quick check. No winter damage. They got their backpacks and food in and he gave Paul Robbie's room with the nice view and very comfortable bed.
Paul could feel the serenity and tranquillity of the place. The cabin itself was part cottage and part home. It was what he always thought of as an organic Canadian cottage. There was the basic, first, small cottage with additions and renovations done over the years. The cottage was on a small rise with trees around it. There was a beautiful deck on the front with a view down to the lake. They sat there at lunch with a beer and a smoked meat sandwich with pickles and cole slaw, listening to the water lap against the beach. Paul was enchanted. One or the other commented that nothing could be more relaxing and reviving at the same time.
They worked hard in the afternoon. Later in the afternoon, they were carrying the dock down to the water's edge. Paul had a devilish look. "Why is it that I always get the heavy end?"
"Stop complaining." Brian tried to sound as disgusted as he could. "Can't the big guy take the hard work and heat?" His voice was like a father to his little child. "I guess you have been missing some of your workouts. Look at me, strong and hardy." Paul stopped and put his end down. He moved menacingly towards Brian.
"Missing my workouts! We'll see who is strong and hardy!" When he was close to Brian, he grabbed for a headlock. Brian danced away, taunting him. The chase was on. Paul caught up to him and tackled him. They wrestled on the ground, laughing uproariously. It was deadlock and Brian suggested a tie and a truce. Paul said OK. The minute Brian relaxed, in a flash, Paul had him in a headlock using his knuckles on his head. Laughing, as he jumped up and out of the way,"So who is the smartest and the best? Me." He did a silly victory dance. They both broke up at his antics. They finally got the dock to the lake but not in. The water was too damn cold.
By the end, they were truly hot and sweaty but it was a good feeling and they accomplished a lot. As Brian put on the BBQ, he suggested to Paul that he use the shower as the water should be hot by now and get cleaned up for a well earned supper. At one point, Brian heard a noise behind him and automatically looked around to see Paul disappearing down the hall, naked. For some reason the sight of his perfect butt, his tapered waist and broad back caught his attention today. Brian had seen him naked before at the health club but this time it gave him a charge in all the wrong places. He shrugged and went back to work getting supper ready, after adjusting himself. He had not felt like this or this much at ease since .... He had a quick shower when all was ready.
The supper and wine were excellent. After supper, they went for a walk on one of his woodland trails with Brian pointing out flowers, birds they heard or saw and views through the woods. If he had been with Margie, they would be holding hands. His mood now was almost the same as on those walks with Margie: contentment, at ease with life, closeness to the person with him. What the hell was with his feelings? What was Paul thinking?
Paul was thinking that he would like to take this guy in his arms, hug him and kiss him. He had not had such a glorious day since Luke had left. This was the sort of thing that they had enjoyed doing. But Brian had the maturity, perspective and depth that Luke had lacked. They had been younger and there relationship had been very passionate but it had obviously lacked the depth to carry them through. He enjoyed Brian's company so much. He decided to let things take their course and to just enjoy what he had.
Later, Brian turned on some music on his iPad. He had downloaded one of the pieces that they had both enjoyed at their first concert together. The music filled the room giving both of them a feeling of joy and contentment as they read quietly before watching the movie. It was very moving.
Both were tired from the early drive up and the work so they put the movie on before it got dark. Brian told Paul that the best viewing was beside him on the couch. He didn't add that that was where he and Margie always sat, together.
The movie was funny, romantic and sentimental and both laughed and felt emotionally charged during it. At one point, their legs touched and neither moved or even noticed it. No that was wrong; both noticed and decided to just ignore it. As the movie ended, neither moved. In fact, during the last part of the movie both had shifted so that both were leaning against the other.
Brian didn't want it to end and neither did Paul. Their feelings had crept up on both of them and each was going back over all their times together and how they felt about the other. Brian was shocked at his own feelings. He had not wanted anything to do with the women that had been thrust at him over the last months but he felt that he wanted to reach out and touch this man. Paul didn't know what to do; he only knew what he wanted to do and it didn't involve sitting without touching.
Brian broke the unknown impasse by just acting on his feelings. "Paul, would put your arms around me."
"Is this for comfort or other reasons. I would enjoy it for either reason."
"Yes." Paul started to chuckle.
Brian felt Paul shift and his arm went around his shoulder and pulled him close. They stayed like that for minutes each in his own thoughts and feelings. Paul realized Brian had made the first move and he had to reciprocate. Did he dare do what he wanted?
"Brian there is something that I want to do? Can I?"
"I'll trust you, yes." There was a little question in his voice.
He turned his head and looked at Brian with what Brian could only describe as a wonderful, soft look. There was a connection between them. He kissed him lightly on the lips and pulled back to look at him.
They stared at each other. Brian looked as if he was figuring something out. Finally, he looked as if he had reached a decision.
Brian started to move his head and mouth closer to Paul. Lips touched and they kissed. It was soft and gentle. Neither was a novice at this. It was incredibly erotic. Brian could feel Paul's stubble on his face as their kiss became more active. It really told him what he was doing. He didn't care. It was exotic and erotic. After several moments, they came up for air.
Paul looked mischievously at Brian. "I think that there is another part of your body that wants to be touched as well." Brian looked down to where Paul's eyes were looking; he was getting hard and it was noticeable." He had made his decision. He took Paul's hand and put it on the outline of his erection and smiled at him, daring him to do more.
"I am clearly not the only one in that state." He rested his hand and fingers lightly on the outline of Paul's erection. He didn't move them. But that was all it took. Both decided to put doubts and concerns aside and live for the moment. Within minutes both were moaning from the touching and stroking.
Paul, "I don't know about you but I need to be liberated. I am getting very uncomfortable."
Brian answered with action. He reached over and undid Paul's zipper. He then carefully pulled his shorts down over his very hard erection. He noticed that there was already a little wet spot. Paul had a little smile on his face as he stood up and pulled Brian up. He carefully repeated what Brian had done to him, except he forced his jeans and shorts down his legs. Brian reached and took his pants off. Paul followed his lead. They stood looking at each other.
"Brian, I would really like to see you totally undressed. I have come to like the entire package for quite a while."
"So you have been lusting after me for a while now?" Paul wistfully nodded his head, yes.
In seconds, they were both totally naked and carefully observing the other in a new way. For the first time, Brian saw a man, broad shouldered, well developed chest with short medium brown hair. There was a small trial of hair, starting at the navel leading to a patch of hair and from it, a beautifully formed cock with a lovely head, that was sticking straight out. His balls were not big and did not hang low. They looked perfect. His thighs and legs were muscular and covered with short brown hair. What a package!
Paul had imagined Brian this way several times in his imagination. He was more beautiful than his imagination. His chest was well defined with thick, short, dark hair, just what he liked. There was no hair on his stomach and his erect cock pointed slightly up. He was a grower. It was slightly larger and thicker than his own. It was dripping. His balls hung loosely and were about average. He looked at his legs and thought that, at some time, he would want to lick those and then have them over his back as he made love to him but probably not tonight. He had seen it all before, well not the erection, but it seemed so different in this setting.
Paul moved forward and started to caress Brian's chest. He experimented by running his hands through the hair. It felt silken. He got a reaction. He heard a stronger reaction when he lightly flicked his nipples. Two of a kind. Brian reached tentatively out to repeat his actions. He liked the feel. What would he taste like? He bent down and circled the nipples with his tongue. Paul shuddered and encouraged him to continue. By the time they were ready to move on, both were engaged, very sensitive and very hard.
They stood looking at each other, stroking their cocks with fingers and then hands. Both were totally absorbed.
Brian offered to get something to lubricate them. He found a jar of Vaseline in the medicine cabinet. It hadn't been bought for this use. He smiled to himself; one never knew. The lube intensified the feelings as they stroked each other using different speeds and grips. Paul, at one point, took his hand off and just caressed the tip. Brian felt as there was electricity flowing through him.
They sat down and both turned there attention to the balls. They fingered, patted even bounced them. They caressed the thighs and pulled the hair. Brian felt that his cock was straining for release. Paul was in heaven.
Simultaneously they put their hands back on each others erections and started to stroke hard and fast. Brian was the first to go over the top. "Oh Paul," he cried out as he felt the first shot started in his groin and traveled up until it erupted out landing on his leg and many others then flowed out over Paul's hand. His shots seemed to go on for a long time. He hadn't shot that long or that much in a long time.
Very shortly after, when Brian had regained his ability to stroke, Paul tensed and moaned, "Good lord, it is incredible," as he sent a shot a foot up in the air and then many others following. Brian's hands and fingers were covered.
Both had to recover their breath and come down from an incredible high. Paul was the first to be able to speak. Paul looked at his hand covered in semen. "You are amazing. You, my friend, are no novice."
Brian examined his hand with an intense look. "Never claimed to be a virgin! You know how to turn me on. You are not too bad yourself." He leaned over and kissed Paul.
Paul looked at Brian with little smile, "I suspect that this couch has been used for this purpose before."
Brian looked him straight in the eye. "Yes. Does that bother you?"
"Brian you are so straight forward and honest. I like that. The answer is no, as long as I am not in competition with a ghost." He said it softly with a bit of a question in his voice but his look was sympathetic and expectant.
"Paul, I really mean this. Margie told me to mourn and I have done that often in the last months both publicly but mostly privately. We spent 22 very good years together. She is in my memories and they cannot be erased. She is part of me. She helped make me the man I am now. But ...." He paused and looked very seriously at Paul. "She also told me to get on with my life and she was explicit, in all aspects. You have not taken her place. You are now part of my new life. There is no ghost. Their will be other problems but you and I can find solutions. She and I made love in every room of this place. Well not the closet. Sorry we started there once but ended up on the bed." They both started to laugh at the incongruity of the memory at such a serious moment. "We can now say that WE have made love in this room. Want to try for some others before we leave tomorrow?"
"A philosopher too. Thank you for the assurances and the challenge. I am up for it."
"Going to sleep with me tonight?"
"If that is an invitation, absolutely."
They were tired from the afternoon and the activity after the movie. They cuddled and slept. Before he drifted off Paul could only think that for the first time in a long time that it did not feel tawdry. It felt right.
Paul woke to the sounds of birds, to the feel of arms around him and to a very hard cock against his body. He turned to look and found Brian awake and looking at him.
Paul spoke first, looking down at Brian's very stiff erection. "Morning. Feeling frisky? Didn't get enough last night? I am up for the next room." He raised his eyebrows in a question and took Brian's hand and put it on his very hard cock. He was up alright. Forty minutes later, they both felt that they had done justice to this, the next room. Another addition to their memories together.
They got up to use the washroom and then prepare breakfast. Each had thrown on shorts and a t shirt. They were together making coffee and getting some cereal and toast. There were light touches and the odd pat on the rear, actually there was groping. They had a leisurely breakfast and then did some more chores around and came in to prepare lunch. Both knew that the time to leave was coming and both regretted that they would have to go soon. Brian now knew what it would be like to have Paul around for longer periods of time. Great.
As they were eating lunch out on the deck, "Brian are you OK with what has happened in the last day. It must be a real contrast and a really different experience." Then quietly, Brian explained to him his experiences over the last months, their times together, the bike group and his exploration on the internet. He explained in detail his reactions and feelings.
He knew that time was flying so he got up to take the dishes into the kitchen. He continued with some of his reflections on seeing the videos as they went into the kitchen.
With an appraising smile, "How am I compared to the videos?"
Brian paused to look as if he were thinking, "So so, I guess." Paul's eyes went bigger in disbelief. He started to splutter but no words came out. Brian looked very seriously at him. "I do have to admit that this is the best man to man sex that I have ever had."
"But you have never .... " Again Paul started to splutter but nothing coherent would come out and he ended laughing loud and long. Finally, "When you get wound up, do you stop?"
"No I am like the energizer bunny. Charge me up and I just go."
"What charges you up? I've got to hear this."
This time there was a huge smile, "It appears that it is you."
Paul stopped, dead still, looking at this man in disbelief. Brian had hooked him: serious reflections, lightness, fun and then the open heart. He reached over and gave him a hug and kiss. "You know how to make me lose my ability to speak." Then with a very wicked smile, "You ready for another room?"
They were in the kitchen, so for convenience they chose the kitchen, certainly not for comfort but it was exciting.
It was more frantic than there two other times. They kissed, stroked each other all over. They pinned each other against the counter top. They stroked each other with one hand while caressing the body with the other. They were all over each other. Brian forced Paul down on a chair. He decided there was something that he wanted to do badly.
Finally, Brian was kneeling in front of Paul who was sitting in the chair. Brian looked at Paul with a loving look, lowered his head and licked the head of his cock. Paul shuddered. Over the next few minutes he sucked and tongued him. He knew what he liked, from being on the receiving end from Margie. His hands and fingers roamed over Paul's balls and legs stroking, pinching lightly and pulling hair. It was clear that he had Paul close. Paul finally warned Brian but Brian had decided that he wanted to do it. Paul tried to pull his head and mouth off him, saying that he was there. Brian sucked harder and faster. Suddenly, he felt the first shot into his mouth and another and another. Paul had given in and was himself setting his own rhythm moving in and out. He became very vocal. Brian had to swallow some but he kept some in his mouth when he came off. He stood up and bent over and kissed Paul who looked as if he was somewhere else as they shared a kiss and semen.
Paul broke the kiss and pulled Brian's cock into his mouth and had him crying out as he sucked him fast and furiously. In a minute, Brian was emptying himself into his mouth. When he finished, he leaned over and kissed Paul tasting himself. They found themselves on the floor kissing and holding each other tightly. Words were murmured. Compliments given. Surprise expressed. For Paul, he could see that there were no ghosts. For Brian, he realized that a new life was beginning, one memory at a time, one room at a time.
The shower was fun and boisterous. They packed and as they locked up and jumped in the car, each regretted leaving but celebrated the bond formed. On the way home, they chatted about this and that. A couple of times, there were touches back and forth.
As they neared the city, Brian made a suggestion, "Paul I don't want you to leave yet. Come to my place, at least for supper and perhaps to stay over tonight. There are things I would like to talk about. I'll be honest; I just don't want to part quite yet. I promise to set the alarm early to get you home in time for work or to take you home later tonight. Your choice.
Paul looked at the intensity of Brian's glance and his words. He agreed for supper and they would decided the rest later. They pulled up at a really lovely house. He was even more impressed when he went in.
"Did Margie decorate this?"
"Yes but we made all the decisions and choices together."
"Brian it is beautiful and comfortable at the same time. The oriental rugs are incredible." Brian admitted that he had chosen most of them. All Paul could think was that his man was full of surprises.
They unpacked and made a bit of supper from leftovers from the cottage. They settled down with a whiskey glass of Langavulin. "You said that you wanted to talk."
"First, I want you to know that this has been two of the most memorable days of my life. There are no regrets, just happiness and contentment. The word joy does keep coming to mind. In some way, I want to be part of your life." He looked intently at Paul to see his reaction.
He saw a softness in his look and small smile that radiated satisfaction. "Brian, I was wandering around until the last few months. My life has take on a focus. I haven't felt this alive for a long time." He motioned Brian to join him on the couch. "No kissing. I don't trust myself with you around."
"There is one big thing that I have to ask?"
"This isn't the but is it?"
"Touche. No, but I do ask for patience. My children."
Paul nodded his head. "They really loved their mother. They will be shocked to discover their father's new life."
"Thanks. It's obvious but has to be dealt with. But I have some ideas." He raised his eyebrows a couple of times.
"I've liked your ideas and suggestions so far!"
"I don't want to tell them until I feel it is appropriate; so there may be some inconveniences. My idea involves the long weekend in May. It is a tradition that we go to the cottage. I suggest that you, as a friend, and I go up on Friday to prepare it and Robbie and Susan come up on Saturday. That means ...."
Paul interrupted, "That you and I have Friday night alone together and after that we become friends in separate beds, Saturday and Sunday nights. It would be a great way for me to meet the kids and vice versa. Brian I can think of worse arrangements. Can we go for a walk on Saturday or Sunday? "
"I love it. You are wicked and think exactly like me. Takes me back to early days at the cottage when I brought a girlfriend up." He had a lascivious expression on his face.
They went on to discuss disclosure to the various groups of friends. Finally, it came to where and when they would spend their nights. They worked out an arrangement. It would mean buying some extras and seconds of big items like electric shavers but they could afford it.
"Brian, I do have one thing to ask from you. Luke did hurt me. It is only since I have met you that I realized how much. This is very new to you and you have a lot of hurdles coming up. If at any time you have problems with this or you want take a step back and assess things, please don't let things drag on. That would hurt me more than a clean break but please, talk and discuss."
"Paul I thought to myself about a month ago that I would never want to hurt you. I promise."
"Brian I also want you to know that I am very comfortable financially as I suspect you are. Your money and some of it was Margies is for your children. I am not here for the money. You suggested that some of the women who were thrust or who thrust themselves at you, might have been interested in your estate. I am not." No comment was made but Brian did kiss him in gratitude. "I would like to stay the night. Can you take it for another night?"
Very soon after, he proved that he was more than able. He even managed to get Paul home and to work on time. He was a little late.
Their life didn't change too much except that they spent more time together, worry free. There were physical benefits to which both became accustomed very quickly. On Thursday, they were at Brian's place. The telephone rang. As agreed, only Brian would answer.
"Robbie how are you." There was long period of silence with a few grunts of agreement or I understand. "You want to talk about the May weekend. Hope you can make it? You both want to bring a friend. Sounds great. Oh, you are bringing your girlfriend and Susan is bringing John. Sure, there will be lots of food." Thinking quickly and adroitly, "I was thinking of inviting a friend that I met at my health club. I've told him about the cottage and he says he would like to spend a weekend out of the city. Yeah, I think you will like him. Seems like a good guy. I've seen him play cards and he seems to be quick and fun. Right, it's settled. We'll make more plans later. Great to talk to you. Say hello to everyone there. Tell Susan to use Skype and give me a call. You could have done that. I know I'm cheap. Talk soon."
"Smooth! Well done. Seems like a good guy, quick and fun. How about good in the sack, a knockout, intelligent?"
"Fishing for compliments again. Don't get cocky. Oh, oh wrong word." They both smiled and chuckled. Another problem dealt with. An hour later Brian was moaning as Paul demonstrated how good he was in the sack.
Saturday night they went to the club to dance. It was Brian's first time. If he thought the guys had been raunchy on their bicycle rides, his reception was over the top. Of course, no one knew of their discovery of each other. They had agreed that it could become public tonight if the occasion arose. The music started and Paul looked at Brian who was a little disoriented from the welcome and the situation and motioned to the floor. To the ribald comments and suggestions from the table, they went and danced. It was so different and yet so exciting for Brian. When the slow music started, they came back to the table again to comments. Paul was on top of the world and was meeting comments with comments.
Brian was sitting beside Alan who he had come to really like. "Straight, I haven't seen Paul this happy since, uh for a long time. You look as if you belong here. You almost stayed for the slow dance. Something to tell old Alan."
"You may have to change my nick name." Alan's eyes got bigger and he made a motion with his head and hands that said tell me more. "A new name perhaps? Maybe Bent?"
Alan clapped him on the back. He gave him a gentle hug when he put his arm over Brian's shoulder. "All joking aside, I am so happy for you both but please don't hurt him. I have seen the two of you together and I guessed that Paul had strong feelings, for the first time in a while. That bastard hurt him. I'll wring the whole story out of you another time. You are a good man. You are both lucky."
At that point, the music started up and they went back on the dance floor. When the slow one started, Brian held Paul and started to dance. Paul looked at him with a question.
"Alan guessed and I told him. You have a good friend there." Let's dance. I feel at home.
It was obvious that Alan had said nothing to the others. There were ohs and ahs when they left the floor and returned to the table with lots of suggestive comments directed at Straight. Only Alan looked at him kindly and said quietly with affection, "Have a good night, Bent. You both deserve it." There was a friendly squeeze on his arm as he passed him when they left.
They were to spend the night and the weekend at Brian's. They entered and put stuff from work down. Brian grabbed Paul and kissed him passionately. Paul looked at him surprised.
"Paul, I have been out dancing with you and told Alan who said really nice things about us. You turn me on." As they were talking in the hall, Brian had Paul's shirt open and his t shirt pulled out. His hands and and fingers were all over his chest and stomach. He started to kiss Paul again. "Paul just drop everything there. I need you in our bedroom." Paul glowed at the words.
In the bedroom, Brian slowly took off Paul's shirt and t shirt and covered his chest with kisses. He sucked his nipples and then nipped them time and time again. Next the pants came off with the shorts. Before he could react. Brian was kneeling in front of him, first stroking him and then using his tongue to lick his rigid cock. Paul couldn't stop moving or moaning.
Paul finally pulled him up and started to undress him. When he had him naked and in his mouth, it was Brian's turn to moan. Paul stood up and directed them to the bed. They lay on the bed caressing and stroking every part of the body. But it was the kisses that were the most passionate. Finally, he turned Brian over on his stomach and kissed and licked his way to ass. His tongue slid down the crack and he could hear the incoherent noises from Brian's throat. When he stopped, he turned Brian on his side.
"Lover, tonight is the night." He got up and disappeared and came back with a tube of lube. Brian looked surprised. Paul approached and put a lot of lube on Brian's cock and then Paul lay down, spread his legs and put them up. He applied a lot in himself. "I need you badly. Please now is the time."
Brian had seen it on the videos and he had had intercourse hundreds of times, probably thousands, with women. He knelt between Paul's knees and leaned forward to kiss him. "I feel the same. It is time." He put lube on his fingers and when he had three in, he knew that Paul was ready. He put his head at the entrance and pushed until he was just in. Paul had a look of pure pleasure and lust as he stared straight into Brian's eyes. He could feel Paul closing tightly around him. It was so hot. The kisses were gentle and then passionate. Brian could feel the hands on his ass slowly pulling him in. He let Paul increase the pressure. Finally, he could feel his balls touch Paul's. He was all the way in. It was tight and very hot. He could feel himself getting harder and larger. The pressure was wonderful. The sensations pulsed through his body. He could feel himself pulsing. His entire body felt sensitive to any touch.
With his eyes shut, Paul commanded, "Brian go."
It was all so strange yet so familiar, except his lover had a beard and hair on his chest, the legs around his back were muscular and had the most wonderful hair and he could see Paul's erection bouncing as he moved in and out. It had been many months since he had had intercourse with Margie. The feelings were exquisite. Before he knew it, he was close with that feeling that almost any touch would end this; he was so sensitive. He came out to Paul's surprise and immediately, he was sucking Paul's very hard, red cock.
Brian's lust knew no bounds tonight. What would it feel like? He looked at Paul in total lust.
"Paul, open me with your fingers."
Paul could hear the tension, the almost pleading. As the first finger went in and found his prostate, Brian cried out. "Oh shit that feels incredible. Keep doing it with more fingers in me." He felt his anal canal expand and contract. He was totally captivated. He grabbed the lube. Seconds later he was poised over Paul's well lubricated cock. Paul had put a lot in him. Brian's eyes widened as the head went in and he started to breathe fast and shallowly. He spasmmed at the invasion but he knew that it would pass. It took time, some pain and little panic but finally it did and he let himself sink down slowly until he was sitting lightly on Paul.
"Paul, I loved being in you but this makes me feel so connected." With that he started to move up and down while Paul stroked his still hard cock.
"I see that you are one that stays hard. This will give you even more pleasure." Both knew that this would not last long now. Both got harder as the jolts of pleasure hit them. "Kiss me. I am close." Sure enough a minute later Brian could feel Paul get larger and he started to push back as Brian moved up and down. He felt Paul move all the way up into him and forced him to hold still. He could feel the pulses and the look on Paul's face was total pleasure and lust. Actually, he almost looked as if were in pain.
Paul started again to fist Brian, hard and fast. Brian cried out and stroked up and down on Paul's still hard, very sensitive cock. His first ejaculation shot right to Paul's chin. The six others were not quite as dramatic.
When he finished, he looked at Paul. "Clean up time and he licked the semen off his chin and some from his chest and kissed Paul with it." They turned on their sides with Paul still in him. They gently caressed each other until the inevitable, Paul slipped out of him.
"Want to clean up?"
"No, I want to fall asleep exactly like this. That was an experience I have never had. You are an exceptional lover."
"Brian, you are amazing. I am so glad that you are in my life."
They fell asleep.
Author's note;
There is another chapter being written. Stayed tuned to Nifty, probably in a week.
In the meantime, if you liked this story, you might want to read one of the others that I have published on Nifty. In particular, Unexpected Change has had the most positive comments; one of my favourites is Getting My Act Together.
Unexpected Change, Nifty, College, April 16, 2011 Friendship, Nifty, Adult Friends, May 20, 2011 Surprising Last Year at University, Nifty, College, June 9, 2011 Murder Changed My Life, Nifty, Beginnings, July 8, 2011 What is Love?, Nifty, Beginnings, August 31, 2011 Getting My Act Together, Nifty, Adult-Friends, November 10, 2011 Surprised, Nifty, Adult-Friends, January 14, 2012 Surprised Eric and Dave, Beginnings, February 10, 2012 Surprised Graham and Robert, Nifty, Adult-Friends, March 22, 2012