LEGAL SHIT -------------- All usual disclaimers apply. This story depicts a gay relationship (including sex) between two consenting teenage boys, so if you're under 18 there's probably some stupid law that says you can't read it. However, reading this disclaimer won't stop you (and I don't blame you). Hell, I'm only 17 and I'm writing it, so just don't get caught. If you are offended by homosexuality, then what the hell are you doing here? This story is totally fictional and is my property. You may distribute this story as long as I'm given credit for writing it, it is not altered in any way, and you do not charge anyone a fee for reading it. Enjoy!
Questions/comments/CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms are welcome at jasonstories@hotmail.com I ignore flames, so find something better to do.
We're In This Together: Chapter 7 - Hawaii ------------------------------------------
I should have been happier. I had Adam, shouldn't that be enough? I loved him with all my heart, nothing could change that. But in some ways it wasn't enough. I felt cheated. I hadn't done anything wrong. I now believed that my sexuality meant absolutely nothing to God, despite whatever the asshole who called himself my father might say. So therefore, I lived a good life. It could not understand why Adam and I were being forced to suffer through this. Shouldn't there be some sort of punishment for all the jerks at school? We kept telling ourselves, that eventually there would be.
And maybe we were right. I guess we'll never know until it happens. But it seemed less and less likely. As I laid there next to Adam, in my bed, after sex, he looked so beautiful and innocent. I wanted to protect him. I wanted to stay in this room forever, totally oblivious to everyone else, just me and him, forever.
This, of course, could not be. It's kind of ironic that the place I wished could be our sanctuary, was the exact opposite. This was not my home, it was my father's home. And so, it was a home in which I did not belong. Of course, he didn't know this. And I had nowhere else to go at this point, so I had to stay. Still, I'd have to say that this place, this apartment, is not my home. It is a place in which I eat, sleep, and do other functions commonly associated with living, but I do not live here. It is not my home. A home is a place where you go to feel comfortable, where you belong, where people love you an accept you for who you are. My home was the midnight streets of the city, where Adam and I could be alone and just talk for hours, uninterruped. My family, was Adam. No one else.
As for how much longer I would live in this place, that also remained to be seen. Seeing as the entire school knew about me and Adam, I wondered how long it would take this news to reach home. I didn't really know anyone imparticular that would do it, the school was not an "everybody knows everybody" kind of situation. Most of the people probably knew, at most, my name...nothing about my life, or my family situation. Still, I figured it wouldn't be too long until someone talked. I had always imagined my father finding out from me, that I, his only son, was the very thing he had worked so hard to denouce. I wanted to savor it. I wanted to tell him I'm gay, tell him to go fuck himself, and storm out of the house in a fit of dignified rage. It would be on my terms. Of course, I didn't see this happening anytime soon. I figured someone would beat me to it, because for the time being, I would much rather avoid that confrontation. There's a difference between being scared, and being smart.
I continued to stare at Adam while I thought. He looked more and more beautiful with every glance. And as he lay there, naked beside me, I started to cry. Partially from joy, for being lucky enough to find him, but partially from fear and anger. He did not deserve this. He was too good of a person. If I could have done anything to protect him, anything at all, I would have, regardless of what happened to me.
I was brought out of my thoughts as I noticed Adam beginning to stir. I was still quietly sobbing when he opened his eyes and looked at me. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
I was quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond. I looked back at him and said, "I don't want to be here."
Adam looked at me. The look in his eyes told me that he understood. He smiled a little bit. A sad smile, but it was nice to see nonetheless. "Well then we should get out of here," he said. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Doesn't matter," I said, still sniffling a bit, "Not here."
"Okay, but we probably should get dressed first," he said, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
I laughed a little. "Guess so. Running around naked probably isn't the best way to NOT attract attention."
We smiled as we got out of my bed. Before we got dressed, I put my arms around Adam and kissed him again. "I love you," I whispered as my hands caressed his body.
"I love you too," Adam said as I felt his soft hands on my back. After I pulled my mouth away from his, we got dressed. "Well, let's go," Adam said.
"Yeah," I responded, "I really need to get out of here."
We walked out of my bedroom and down the hall towards the door of my apartment. We were just about to reach the door when it suddenly swung open, startling both of us.
My father entered.
"Hello Richard," my father said in his deep, booming voice. "Who's this?"
"Oh...ummm," I stuttered, "This is Adam. He's...a friend of mine from school."
"Oh, hello Adam," he said. "Nice to meet you."
Adam sheepishly mumbled a "hello" back to him.
"How come you're home so early?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I wasn't sure how well it was working. I was trying to avoid looking at my father, because I was startled to see him, and because I absolutely did not want to see him.
He shrugged. "Not much going on at the church today."
"Oh okay," I mumbled. "Umm...Adam and I were just about to go over to his place. I'll be back for dinner and everything."
"Well, okay," my father said. He seemed oddly casual. Maybe it was just because I was so shocked. I guess he had no reason (that he knew of) to be anything other than casual, but it still seemed weird. "I think I've seen you at church before, so I'm sure you're a good kid." He grinned. "I'm sure you won't get Richard into any trouble, right?"
As best I could tell, my father meant that as kind of a joke. Not that he wanted me to get in trouble, but he didn't know anything about us, so he was presumably just joking around. Trying to be friendly...or something. Despite that, the question still caused Adam to pause for a second. Then he managed a little laugh, and an "Of course not, Sir." I could tell that Adam was faking the laugh, and was really scared as hell, but my father tended to be oblivious to things like emotion, so he didn't seem to notice.
"So, umm...we're gonna get going then," I said to my father, trying to get out of there as quickly as possible.
"Okay, be good son," he said.
"Yeah, bye." With that Adam and I left. I tried not to make it seem like we were in a hurry to leave, but we most definitely were. We didn't say much as we walked down the stairs and exited the apartment building. After we were a ways away from the building, I looked over at Adam. He looked the same way I'm sure I did: relieved but still scared.
"That was close," he said.
"Yeah, too close," I agreed. As I was saying this, it hit me for the first time just how close it had been. After my father had walked in, I hadn't been thinking too clearly, but now that I'd recovered a bit, I realized that he came within minutes of discovering us. Not only had he walked in while my boyfriend was there, he'd walked in minutes after we had sex. Had we not decided that we wanted to leave, we still would have been naked in bed together when he walked in.
Adam must have noticed that something was really bothering me. "What's wrong?" he asked.
I thought for a second. "Do you realize that if he'd showed up just a couple minutes earlier, we'd have been dead?"
Adam looked down and sighed. "I know. That was definitely way too close. I guess it's a good thing you wanted to leave."
"Yeah, I guess so," I agreed solemnly.
"Good call, Rich," he laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "What would I do without you?"
I didn't feel like being lightened up. "Without me, you be in a hell of a lot less trouble," I said.
"Maybe, but I'd still be very lonely. I'll take a little bit of trouble over being without you any day," Adam said.
"Thanks," I said, managing a faint smile. "But what if next time, he does show up couple minutes earlier?"
Adam thought for a second. "I guess we just have to be more careful. Make sure there isn't a next time."
"I don't want to be careful," I said sadly. "I hate hiding."
"Me too," Adam agreed. "But hey," he said, trying to cheer us both up, "We'll get through this, and one day we won't have to hide. We'll move out of this city, and we'll go somewhere we can be free."
"Where?" I asked.
"Anywhere we want," Adam said dreamily.
"Somewhere far away from here," I said.
"Yeah, you won't even remember this place. We'll go to...Hawaii."
"Yeah, Hawaii," I smiled. Adam was beginning to have some effect on me. I was feeling better.
"Yeah," he continued. "And we'll have a beautiful little house on the beach. And a little pet dog. And the kitchen will have big huge windows so the sun can shine in all day..."
"And a big comfy waterbed," I added with a smile.
"Yeah, and if we want, we can just stay inside and make love all day long," Adam said smiling back at me. "And all the people in the city will know about us, but they won't care. We can be ourselves."
I was now totally enveloped in Adam's dream. I said, "And we can walk down the street holding hands, kissing."
"Yeah." Adam paused then laughed. "We could be fucking in the streets and no one would care."
We both laughed for what felt like an eternity, for what I wished could have been an eternity.
Adam continued. "And we'll have our own private beach. And at night we can go outside and swim in the ocean together. And we'll just live out our lives there."
I smiled broadly. "It'll be perfect. Just you and me."
"You, me, and the stars," Adam said wistfully. "Forever."
"Forever," I repeated. I sighed and looked at Adam. "I love you."
"I love you too," he said. "And I know we'll make it."
"Me too." Of course, we weren't about to start the fucking in the streets thing quite yet, but a quick look around revealed that we were alone. I leaned over and kissed Adam quickly.
Adam laughed. "Hehe, what was that for?"
"Hawaii," I replied.
He smiled. "Well in that case..." Then he leaned over and kissed me back. "To Hawaii," he said.
"To us," I said.
We kept walking, both of us smiling dreamily at our little dream world. Our little house in Hawaii was so vivid in my mind, that I was certain it would become reality. That WOULD be us someday soon. I was sure that we'd make it. If we could just hold on a little bit longer, then soon we would out there in the ocean at night.
After we walked for a little while longer in our dreamy haze, a looked it my watch. I frowned. "Shit, it's almost 6. I have to get home soon."
Adam frowned a little too. "Wow, already?"
"Time flies when you're having fun," I said with a smile.
"I guess so," he said. "I should probably be getting home too. We're not too far from my place."
"I'll walk you home then," I said.
We walked pretty slowly, not wanting our time together to end, but knowing that it had to. The idea of going back home did not seem as daunting to me now, because I knew that I would not have to be there much longer. I had something to hope for now, and hope was what I'd been desperately needing all this time. Now that I had it, I was not as afraid. I certainly was no more ready for the inevitible confrontation with my father than I had been before, but somehow I had accepted that it would have to happen eventually. I even though it would hurt, the pain would not last, and Adam and I would survive it together.
We didn't talk much on the way to his place. It wasn't an awkward silence, but a dreamy one. We were both still transfixed by the life that waited for us in the near future. I think we were both afraid that if we spoke too much, it would bring us back to reality, which neither of us wanted to come back to quite yet.
We did finally reach Adam's house, and I knew that it was time for us to part. Standing in front of his building, I quickly kissed Adam once more. "See you tomorrow," I said. "I'll miss you."
He smiled. "I'll miss you too, Rich. But remember, it'll all be okay. Remember Hawaii."
"How could I ever forget Hawaii?" I asked with a smile.
He smiled back at me, then kissed me. "I love you," he said quietly.
"I love you too," I replied.
"Bye," he said, turning to walk inside. When he got to the door, he turned and waved quickly before disappearing inside. I watched him go, then turned to go home.
At this time, I was a mix of many emotions. But for the first time in a long time, fear was not one of them. I still felt a bit of sadness because of our current situation, but I also felt a great deal of hope. Hope for our future. Hope which I'd been missing for so long.
And I was not afraid. I knew that I had to go home now, and I knew that my father would be there, but I wasn't scared. I still didn't exactly want to see him, but the prospect of doing so did not scare me like it once had. Nothing my father or anyone else could ever do would split me and Adam apart. Nothing would keep us from our dream.
And I knew Adam felt the same way. He hadn't told me this in so many words, but I could feel it. I could feel that, right now, we were both thinking the exact same thing. It almost felt like my mind and his mind were actually just one mind. It sounds crazy, and you might not believe me, but I knew that Adam and I felt exactly the same way. And I knew, as Adam knew, that Hawaii was not so far away.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of chapter 7. Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a really fucking long time. I really hope it was worth the wait. Any comments are appreciated at jasonstories@hotmail.com. I am trying to write more, so hopefully chapter 8 will show up much quicker that chapter 7. If you want, you can check out my webiste to see my other series (Running Into Love) and anything else I might be up to. The address is http://jasonspage.cjb.net. There's a bunch of stuff there aside from the stories if you really wanna kill some time :) Well anyway, thanks to everyone who stuck with me. See ya...soon...no really, I promise :)