Chapter 7: Risk and Reward
5:00 PM. God I hate potholes! Bryan was driving me home, with Lisa taking up the rear. How was I going to explain this all to mom? "She thinks you had a great time at the concert; and you were just so tired you stayed at my place for the night. Don't worry. You can't see any of the bruises as long as you wear clothes." Bryan looked over at me. I stared back in either complete confusion, or amazement. "What?" he asked? I just look forward, anticipating the next day, waiting for my chances, and looking forward to leaving this all behind. I scanned the horizon, taking in the scenes; the sun still high in the sky. Bam! We hit another pothole. My hands went to clench my stomach instinctively, the pain came rushing back! My face became a vision into my feelings.
"Ughhh." I moaned.
"It's ok, we'll be there in 10 minutes." He whispered to me, offering his hand. I took it and squeezed. I threw my head back into the headrest. I looked back again and immediately recognized where we were... home. We pulled into Gorgeville and immediately headed for my street.
"How the hell do you know where I live?" I asked him.
"Well if you look ahead of us, you'll find out." He simply replied. I looked straight ahead and was instantly hit with another batch of pure confusion.
"How the hell did she get- never mind, I forgot. She drives like Jeff Gordon on steroids." He laughed at that.
"You know, your pretty funny Pete."
"So I've been told." I whispered. We finally made it home. I got out of the car and headed for the house. I was running on about four advil wich melted most of the pain away making it just bearable. Opening the door I was met with the insane barking of my dog. "Hey Maxi!" I bent down to pet the little bundle of fur. My eyes shut as a slight throbbing rang through my bones. Man this was really kicking my ass. "Mom I'm home!" I called into the house.
"Hey Hun! Did you have fun?" She asked walking into the kitchen.
"Sure. Listen I'm heading over to the complex to see if they need help with anything." I told her as I put my phone on the table.
"Ok. Don't be to late." She said. I really didn't want to talk about my night to mom, so as fast as I decided I was glad to be home, I needed to get out.
"I won't be. Bye." I went over to her and kissed her on the cheek. "Love you." And I took off running out the door.
"Love you too!" She called just as I shut the door.
"Well. I'm heading over to the complex. Come with me." I met up with Bryan and Lisa.
"Ok." Bryan stepped towards me.
"You boys go. I want to go in, show your mom my dress, and get settled in." She winked at me while she dismissed us with a simple hand wave.
"Ok. Well the complex is just a couple blocks away." I took off walking, Bryan running to catch up. We walked down the streets, not talking just thinking; at least that's what I was doing. We finally reached the complex and walked in.
"Peter!" My principal Mrs. Humn called to me. I waved as she came over. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh just wanted to see if you need any help." I looked around the room. It looked amazing. For a theme of black and white they sure did a great job. "It looks great in here Mrs. H!"
"Ah well it was a group effort. As a matter of fact, could you please take the boxes by the door and put them in the backseat of my car?" She asked. I turned behind me, spotted the boxes and looked back.
"Sure no problem, me and my friend here will have it done in no time!" We turned to leave.
"Thanks Peter!" She told us as we walked away. We picked up the boxes and headed for the door.
"It's the red Toyota." I told him and nodded in the direction. I sat the boxes down and opened up the door. We set them inside when I realized we still needed to get the last one from inside.
"Don't worry! I'll get it." Bryan took off back into the building. I followed just a couple seconds behind. Just as I reached the door, an arm came around my throat! This arm forced me to the ground and dragged me away!
"What the fuck?" I yelled. Flashes of my attackers came back. Shaking with fear, I tried elbowing my attacker. He finally let me go, with a push into the wall. I turned to see Richie and his brother Ted. "What the hell do you two want?"
"Well," Richie began, "we were going to drag you here to kick your ass, but seeing the bruises on your arms, I assume someone already had that pleasure." My hands came up to cover the bruises.
"Well Richie, what do you say we kick his ass just for fun anyways?" His brother asked.
"Sure, I'm in!" They started to close the distance. Richie's hand came out, griped by shirt and pulled it up; pulling my face to his. They snickered.
"Put him down." Came a voice from the side. All three of us turned our head. I smiled at my hero.
"And who the hell are you?" They both asked.
"Your really don't want to know." He stepped out of the shadows to reveal a look that could kill. He would have made Satan himself flinch. Richie let me go and took off running in the other direction with his brother in close pursuit. "Are you ok?" Bryan asked.
"Fine... What is it with you and saving me?" I looked at him, demanding an answer.
"Meh. Can't help it I guess." He smiled. I told him that I was going home. We both took off and were back at my house within minutes. "So what time should I be here for tomorrow?" He asked referring to my grad dinner.
"Well supper starts at 5:30, so anytime before then." He smiled and told me he would see me tomorrow. He hopped in his car and drove off while I went into the house to get ready for bed.
I woke up to the shriek of my alarm clock. I got my butt out of bed and went to Lisa's room. She was still sleeping when I opened the door. Me being me went over and lay down beside her. She woke up and cradled me in your arms. "I owe you a cuddle session." I could tell she was smiling. We laid there for several minutes when someone at the door cleared their throat.
"Mom says it's time to get up, the bros will be here in about an hour."
"Ok Keith, thanks." I heard him turn, and run up the stairs. "Well Lamb, I have to get up, have a shower and get ready to see my favourite person in the world."
"Mmk, I'm going to get up in a few." She rolled over and started lightly snoring. I smiled to myself realizing I had something else to bug her about. I glanced at the clock on her bedside table. 11:15. To early for me. I ran upstairs and started my shower.
To save time I brushed my teeth in the shower. I turned off the water, grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower. As I dried myself off I got my shaving kit out. Pulling out my shaving cream, and razor I started to hum a little bit.
I walked into the kitchen to find Lisa, Mom, Keith and my Dad eating brunch. "Want some honey? It's going to be a long day." My mom asked. I just shook my head no and headed for the coffee pot. I leaned against the counter drinking my coffee, and looked over at the table. Everyone seemed excited, everyone except my dad. I knew he hated my brothers; couldn't he at least put a smile on, just for me? Sure they weren't his kids, but that didn't mean he needed to be an ass all the time. I looked out the window to see a red car pull into the driveway. I put my coffee down and ran out the front door. I launched myself off the steps, onto the grass and ran to the drive way. The rear door opened up.
"Uncle Peter!" A little voice screamed. I ran over to the little boy, picked him up and twirled him around.
"Adam Tanner Kuvik, I have missed you so much!" I kissed both my nephew's cheeks, his forehead then gave him a big hug. He tried to put his little arms around me. I laughed. "Your too small for that buddy." I shifted him to one arm and went on to greet the rest of my family. "Shayna!" I leaned in to hug my sister in law.
"Hey nothing for me?" Came the deep voice of my brother behind me. Turning around I hugged my big brother tightly.
"God Jayden I've missed you." I saw the pout of Adam's face. "Don't worry buddy, I missed you more." I leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Your my favourite out of everyone." I leaned back to see the smile on his face. I set him down on the ground. "Now come on, grandmas going to want to see you!" He reached out his hand, and I took it in mine. I led him in the house.
"There's my baby!" My mother came and scooped him up, giving him kisses. My little guy giggled.
"Gama! Stop it." He laughed. She stopped kissing him and turned her attention to Shayna and Jayden.
"Come here you two!" She called them over and hugged them. "How was the trip?" She asked.
"Long." Shayna smiled as she saw Keith coming over. He greeted them all in much the same way mother and I did. Jayden saw my dad and the smiles were gone.
"Justin." He said coldly.
"Jayden." He said back just as icy.
"Fuck you guys. I'm graduating today. Can't you two just pretend, just for one day?!" I stopped yelling and took off for the basement. Reaching my room I slammed the door and locked it. I laid on my bed and curled up against my pillow.
A couple minutes later there was a knock at the door. "Go away!" I yelled. I was almost in tears. All they ever thought about was themselves and how much they hated each other. Yeah Jayden and Kevin got pissed when my Dad came home drunk. Yeah they stood up for my mom. I know I would have, but they were sixteen and seventeen, I was only three. That was fifteen years ago. I know Dad threw them both out after they told him to fuck off. I know the wounds still hurt. But I just wanted a day about me. I never ever got one of those, and it looked like I wouldn't now. Another knock brought me back to reality.
"Go away!" I yelled again, a small sob in my voice. Someone knocked again. "Listen when I sa-" I opened the door to see Bryan.
"Hey. Rough morning?" he asked me with a nervous smile. I was too embarrassed and shocked to say anything. I know you told me to be here at around 5, but I was too excited. I hope 2 o'clock isn't to early?" He pressed seeming more nervous by the minute. I shook my head no.
"Sorry for yelling at you." I looked at my feet.
"It's ok. I'm sure if you tell me why; I'll understand." He smirked at little. I let him inside my room and told him the whole story. "Wow. I don't blame you for being upset. But why is it you never get a day just about you?" He asked.
"It's been that way ever since I was born." I turned my head away, thinking of all the memories. "When I was born, it was just my mom and Auntie Barb in the delivery room. My dad was drunk in some bar and missed the delivery. Then when mom was pregnant with Keith, my dad made sure he was there. And ever since then he has been his golden child. I'm just in the way. Once I graduate I know Keith and Dad will both be happier. They'll have each other and me, the roadblock, will be out of the way." My eyes slammed shut, not willing the tears that were building to be let loose.
"Look at me." He said. I didn't, I couldn't. "Peter." He sighed, "Look at me." I turned my head towards him and opened my eyes. That did it, the hot tears stung their way down my face. He put his hand under my chin "You are an important person to everyone who has let you into their hearts. Lisa loves you, your mom loves you. Your my friend." He paused to wipe the tears off my face. "What we all have to remember is to be thankful for the bitches who hate us, and the lucky mother fuckers who got to know us." I smiled and actually laughed at his humour. He started laughing with me. "But seriously we just have to remember to love the ones who love us, and forget about the ones who don't." I leaned into hug him.
"Sorry about crying, I've always been a softy. Why is it your always either saving me from others, or from myself?" I asked him.
"I don't know. Guess I just like you too much." He stuck his tongue out at me. He asked me if I was ready to go up. Apparently I'd been down here for almost three hours. Once we got upstairs I found out my brother Kevin and his girlfriend Annisa had arrived almost an hour ago. After saying my hellos, giving out hugs I introduced Bryan.
"Everyone this is Bryan. He's a good friend from Saskatoon." I went around the living room introducing him to everyone. "Bryan this is my brother Keith, my mother Marge, my father Justin, my brothers Kevin and Jayden. This is Jayden's wife Shayna, Kevin's girlfriend Anissa, and this bundle of joy is my nephew Adam." He went around the circle shaking everyone's hands. When he got to Adam, Adam launched himself into his arms giving him a hug. "What was that for?" I asked Adam.
"I don't know, just really like him." He smiled as we all laughed. I looked around the room noticing we were missing someone.
"Where's Lisa?" I asked my mom.
"She is at Staci's, along with Amanda getting ready." I smiled knowing tonight was going to be a big night.
We all made our way to the Complex and about 5:15. Once there we found my special table and sat down. I made sure to reserve the seat next to me for Lisa if she decided to arrive within the next century. We all sat around talking, enjoying each other's company. After a few minutes I noticed every single set of eyes in the room turn to the door. Several gasps, and opened mouths could be seen and heard. I turned my head to the entrance and gasped myself. "She's so beautiful." I whispered to nobody. I got out of my chair, went to the door and whispered to this goddess. "Wow, Lis you are so..." I paused trying to think. "There is no set of words to describe how absolutely stunning you look!" She smiled, and thanked me. I finally reached her and bowed. Gently taking her hand in mine I brought it to my lips and lightly kissed it
"What a gentle man." She giggled and hooked her arm in mine. As we walked to the table literally all eyes were on us. I couldn't help myself but smile and burst with pride! She was mine, and no one else's. All the other grads looked at me with envy in their eyes. We laughed to ourselves as I pointed out the shock on even the teacher's face. Lisa's long green dress flailed to the floor. She had a tie to keep her chest up. Her hair was done up in a half bun, half curly way. There simply isn't any way to describe it.
After the shock was over the conversations started up amongst the table. "So Bryan, where do you go to school?" My brother Jayden asked.
"Actually I'm attending the U of S. I'm in my last year of medical school." He smiled with pride. Several awes came from the crowd around us.
"How old are you exactly?" My mother asked. Bryan smiled at the brave question.
"Twenty. I actually started Med School in grade 11, so I'm ahead. I needed to go to school for 5 years, but since I took so well to it, I graduate in 4." Now you could almost see the pride radiate from his body.
"Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to welcome you to Gorgeville High Grad of 2010! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Mrs. Humn, principal at the school. So without further ado, let's get this started." Mrs. H ended her little speech and the music began. "I would like to introduce you to this year's graduation class. Mr. Andrew Hawk, escorted by Mellissa Brown." She waited until the couple reached the stage. "Ms. Jana Hemingway, escorted by Jonathan McKenzie. Ms. Lorren Smith, escorted by Guy Hughes." She paused in between each grad, letting them reach the stage before calling the next couple. Finally she had introduce 8 of the 10 graduates. "Mr. Richard Kar, escorted by Daphne Yeese." The audience applauded as they stepped forward. "And Finally Mr. Peter Reid, escorted by Lisa McKnight." We stepped out into the hall, arms locked, walking slowly so pictures could be taken.
"YEAH PETER!!" Several voices yelled from behind me followed by ecstatic whistles. I smiled knowing full well I told my brothers to shut up, and let me get up to the stage, embarrassment free! When I made it to the steps, I let Lisa's arm go, she joined the other escorts to the side as I stepped onto the stage.
The night breezed bye, I accepted my awards, and my diploma. I blushed at the fact I won almost every award. Then the time came for my personal hell, my valedictorian speech. Mrs. H called me up. I took my place next to the podium, adjusted the mic, and began. "Good Evening Ladies, Gentlemen and my fellow students. It is an honour to be able to come up here talk to everyone. I would like to personally congratulate all the grads, and also all the decorators. I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say they did an amazing job! I'm not very good at speeches so please forgive me if I mess up." Several people in the crowd laughed. "My time here as taught me many things, but no more true than these: We don't go to school to learn, to make friends, or to even have a good time. We go to school to learn how to ask the right questions; and in doing so we learn how to accomplish any task that is set before us. If you're going to think, think big. If you're going to teach-"
I was cut off with sudden laughs and awes from the audience. I felt something tug at my pant leg. I looked down to see Adam smiling and reaching for me. I picked him up, kissed his cheek, shuffled him to one arm and began where I left off. "If you're going to teach, teach passion. If you're going to lead, lead others to discover the leader in themselves. And finally if you going to live; live to take chances. A wise man once said: Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today. Growing up in such a small school has offered all of us this; a passport, a passport in which we can use to prepare for our tomorrow. I need to thank everyone who has helped me in my journey in life; all my teachers who guided me, all my friends who supported me, and my whole family for believing in me. I would not be here if it wasn't for each and everyone one of them. As we go off into the world, I pray that each of us gets where we want to go. And maybe one day, meet again. I believe all of us will do great in life. Thank You." The crowd applauded and the night took off once again.
The dance came, and went. I danced with my mother, Lisa, some teachers, Staci, even Amanda. But finally came the time for the one thing everyone was looking forward to; the grad party. Lisa, Bryan and I left for my house to change, and take off to a friend's house out in the country.
We arrived at the farm to see people already drinking, dancing and having a good time. We each stepped out. "Who's the designated driver?" I turned and asked my two friends.
"I will!" The both yelled at the same time. I smiled knowing I would be twice as safe.
"Well I'm not going to have very much." Bryan said. Lisa agreed but said she wasn't going to drink any. The party began, with a cup of beer, and some music. I managed to pull Lisa to the dance floor and we started grooving. I hadn't drank very much yet so I was a little nervous as always. After the first dance I went over to the kegs to refill my glass.
A couple hours, and lots of liquor later I could barely stand! I was swaying, and didn't even attempt talking. I couldn't find my two buds anywhere. I stumbled outside to see if I could find them. "Hey maaaan." I asked one of the other grade 12 students, "You seen my escort, and the really, really tall dude I came here with." I giggled and barely made out the words. The kid pointed and smiled, seemed he was to drunk to talk either. I stumbled my way over in the direction of the house. As I got closer I could see two figures talking on the steps. I got close enough to see it was my two buds. I was walking up when Bryan leaned over, kissed Lisa's cheek, and gave her a hug. Bryan looked up from the hug to see me standing a few yards away. I was pissed and couldn't stop shaking. I turned around and started back to the party.
"Pete. Pete wait!" he called to me. I ignored him and continued to stumble my way back. I heard footsteps running, then a hand on my shoulder. "Peter wait." He said. I threw his hand off my shoulder. "Where are you going?" He asked; concern littered his voice.
"To get some more." I bitterly spat the words out.
"I think you've had enough!" He grabbed both my shoulders this time.
"Let me go!" I yelled at him.
"No your going home, don't argue cause' you won't win!" He picked my up and carried me to the car kicking and screaming. He set me inside and somehow managed to lock my into my seat using the seatbelts. "I'm going to get Lisa, then I'm taking you home." He left the car with a little slam. God Dammit! He kissed her! Me head starting spinning, and I blacked out.
The car door opened, soft arms surrounded my body, unhooking my restraints. I opened my eyes to see him. The person who stole her from me. I jolted upright, scaring him. He backed off and I got out of the backseat onto the lonely street. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked fed up with the attitude. I ignored him, turned, and marched off in the other direction. "Don't walk away from me. What is your problem?!" He grabbed my hand, spinning my around.
"I saw you with her!" I screamed at him! "I saw you kiss and hug her!"
"Peter wai-" I didn't let him finish,
"I heard you two the other night. You told her how you wanted to protect her, and how much you loved her!" I fumed.
"Peter let me explain-" I cut him off again.
"Just get the hell out of here and leave me the fuck alone!" My head started to spin again with the onslaught of liquor in my brain. He grabbed my arm hard.
"God damn it Peter, will you just listen?!" He continued before I had a chance to cut him off. "You are the one I wanted to protect, not just now, but for the rest of my life!" He took in a breath, thinking how to word his next sentence. "I told her I..." He swallowed, "I told her I love you! Jesus Peter. I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming urge to protect you from everything that would hurt you. My heart races at the thought of you, I can't stand not being with you!" he released my arm. I stepped back in the shock. A guy, a guy who saved my life, an amazing handsome god just told me he loved me, and wanted to protect me. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I did the only thing I knew how to do. Get angry!
"The look in your eyes! When we met you in the parking lot and the theatre the look in your eyes said it all. You wanted her. No scratch that, you NEEDED her!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. He stepped close to me, putting his hand on my cheek. My eyes closed at the warmth of his hand. My eyes shot open again, realizing who was doing this to me.
"I was looking at you." He calmly said to me. I didn't know what to do, what to say. My mind was blank, but my heart was racing. Everything in my body was in turmoil; one big confusion. Liking guys was wrong! But why was the thought of anything to do with Bryan so inviting, why did it feel so right? We leaned our faces into each other, feeling his hot breath on my face. I leaned in a little closer. He closed the rest of the distance, our lips brushing lightly lighting a fire in both of us. Our lips touched together again, unlocking a frenzy! We needed the taste of each other. His lips left mine. He started to gently kiss my cheek, moving down my cheekbone all while keeping up his gentle kisses. His lips brushed up against my jawr, my whole body erupted with pleasure! He kissed that spot again, inspiring violent pleasure reactions from me. My hand roamed his back, while the other clutched his hair. My eyes slammed shut, unable to open. He kissed my neck again, my mouth released a quiet but deep moan.
A swtich in my mind brought me back to reality. This was wrong! "Stop." I whispered. He was too lost in his actions to hear me. I pushed against him. "Stop." I said louder. His lips released my neck, his head backed off and I stared into his eyes. Confusion bled across his forehead, while desire rang in his eyes. "I can't do this, it's not right; I'm sorry." I stared into his eyes, just a few more moments, then turned around and left him standing on the sidewalk.
"Wait. Peter please wait." I lowered my head, running in the other direction.
I slammed down on my bed, thinking about what had just happened. I kissed a guy, and I couldn't get enough. I really am a fag! What the fuck is wrong with me? I curled up into a ball, trying not to think about him, and failing miserably. I started crying, what was I going to do?