This story is completely fictional. Any resemblance to any real person (s) is purely coincidental. The story contains consensual sexual behavior between adult men. It depicts unprotected sex, which I do not endorse for anyone, even partnered couples. Safe sex practices are always in order. If you are underage or object to the subject matter, please leave now. I URGE YOU TO DONATE TO NIFTY TO KEEP THIS SITE UP AND RUNNING.
Green rolling hills that go on for miles, the air, fragrant with smells of freshly mown hay and wildflowers, birds chirping in the trees, a gentle breeze blowing and the sound of a babbling brook. Surely, this must be paradise. Knock! Knock! Knock! "Gregory, time to wake up". Thus ended my peaceful dream and brought me back to the harsh reality, I was at home in my bed. Damn!
"Gregory, did you hear me?" "Time to get up, breakfast will be ready in a minute." "Yes, Mother, I heard you." I called out disgustingly. I made a mad dash to the bathroom to take a long, long piss. I washed my face, rinsed my mouth, put on shorts and made my way to the kitchen. The smell of bacon permeated the air, which normally turns on my taste buds, but today, it had the opposite effect. "I"ll just have coffee, Mother."
"You most certainly will not, sit yourself down and eat your breakfast." she commanded. "Too much to drink last night?you look like hell." she continued. "How nice of you to notice, Mother, thank you for those wonderfully kind words." I said sarcastically. David was about to choke on his eggs, with his sniggering. I looked sternly at him, "What?" "What is so damned funny."
He was unsuccessfully trying to stifle his amusement. "Nothing, Daddy, nothing!" Then he burst out in hearty laughter. I sat there staring a hole through him. Mother smacked him on his back, "Knock it off." "Sorry, Grammy, you two are so funny, the way you go at each other." "Poor Daddy, always gonna be Grammy's little boy and get bitched at?.oops, sorry Grammy." She smacked him again, "You need to go to confession, young man."
I sat at the table, pushing my food around the plate, taking a bite every few minutes. I really wanted to go back to bed to return to my paradise. "How was your date last night, Daddy?" David asked. I said it wasn't a date, just two friends having dinner together. "The way you were fussing about your appearance, sure looked like you were going on a date to me." Mother injected. David laughed again. "You're loving this aren't you, you little brat!" That only made him laugh more.
I got up from the table, took my barely touched food plate to the sink, much to Mother's disgust. "Look at all that good food going to waste, those poor starving children in Africa would love to have what we throw out." I turned to her, "Well, then box it up and mail it to them, I don't give a flying fuck." I yelled. SMACK! Right across my face. "Don't you ever speak to me like that, Gregory, I am your Mother, I will not tolerate that kind of talk!" "And you go to confession, too!"
I fell to my knees crying. "I am sorry, Mother, I am really sorry." She motioned for David to leave us. After he left the room, she was on her knees beside me, holding me, "What happened last night, Son?" I told her it wasn't just last night, it was everything, work, Patrick, Gordy, Ben, "Mother, I am a mess, miserable?I have hurt people I really care for, my friends, my family, myself?what is wrong with me?" I was wracked with pain and uncontrollable sobbing.
She was now sitting on the floor, holding me, rocking me like a baby in her arms. "I am here Son, you haven't hurt me, you haven't hurt your children, you are a good man." "So many things coming at you all at once, no wonder you are miserable, but you are strong, you'll work it out." I said I wasn't so sure, "Mommy, I need to get away by myself." She had the biggest smile on her face, "You haven't called me Mommy since kindergarten and thought you were too big to call me that."
I said I thought she had insisted I call her Mother. "No, baby, that was all you, you wanted to be a big boy and Mommy was for babies." She had tears in her eyes, "You are my baby boy, always will be, I love you more than life." "Mommy, what do you think about me going on a retreat, alone, to some religious place, like that abbey where they makes those fruitcakes?"
She said she had noticed the fruitcake had been opened. "Hope you don't mind that I ate a slice." She said she didn't care, "I don't like it anyway, too much rum to suit my taste." I told her reading the label on the tin was where I got the idea. "I think it is a wonderful thing, just don't decide to join up!" We both laughed. "Yeah, like they would want a big mouth, strong willed, homo as a monk!" She smacked me on the arm, "Go get ready for church, we are going early so you and David can go to confession."
I went to my room to dress. David came wandering in just as I was putting an outfit together. "This ok, David?" I asked showing him my choices. "Sure, Daddy, it's ok for church." "Daddy, are you ok, I am so worried about you." I pulled him into my arms, hugged him tightly. "I am ok, just a lot of things going on?the pressure gets to me at times." "Now, tell me about your evening with Andie, get lucky?" I said jokingly. He replied, "As a matter of fact, I did, 3 times!" "Did you?"
That was not what I was expecting him to say. My mouth was gaping open, "3 times?" He was about to speak, I put my hands over my ears, "Lalalalalalala, I don't want to hear anymore?lalalalalalala!" He fell on my bed laughing. "Gotcha, Daddy!" "Very funny, very, very funny!" He kept on laughing.
I decided to get him back, "To answer your question, yes I did and it was wonderful." He stopped laughing, looked at me for a 'gotcha'. I stood there, expressionless, looking a him. "Eww, gross, Daddy, eww!" It was my turn to laugh. "Good one, Daddy, you got me there, lesson learned, I swear I will never ask again." We both laughed. I let him leave thinking I was teasing, when I actually was telling the truth.
We got to church early. To please Mother, David and I both went to confession. Before I confessed my transgressions, I asked Fr. Jacob about the abbey. He said he would get the information for me. "They are usually pretty booked at this time of the year, when did you want to go?" I told him as soon as possible. He asked if he could help me in any way. I told him I thought not, I just needed to sort some things out and the serenity of the abbey would probably be good for me. "Greg, I know about you and Gordy."
I was speechless for a second. "Did he tell you?" I asked. He said it wasn't hard to figure out, "Watching you looking at each other here at church and then all he could talk about was you when I went to visit his mother at the hospital." "No, he didn't tell me, he didn't have to." I needed to stop this before I cried, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I don't remember when I made my last confession??"
I was glad when that was over. To be truthful, I don't think I heard any of the church service. Mother had to poke me several times to bring me back from wherever my mind was. All I could think about was the three men in my life, my love and affection for each one, but no resolution came to me there in church. I knew I had to get away to do justice to my thoughts and to be able to make good positive decisions. After church, Fr. Jacob said he would call me later with information about the abbey.
After a nice lunch, David was over at Andie's, Mother was napping, I decided to call Ben. I needed to apologize to him and see if I could salvage a friendship, even though I had little hope I could. He answered. I told him how sorry I was about last night. I also told him I was seeking help to resolve my issues, that I hoped he would be patient with me. He said he was sorry, too, for overreacting. "What are you doing this afternoon?" he asked. I told him I had no plans.
"I am going to look at some property on the Meramec River, would you like to go with me?" "It is a log cabin I am thinking would be a good investment and a good place for weekends." I thought an minute and said I would like to go. "Shorts and Tee, ok?" I asked. He said it was. "I will pick you up in a few minutes." I rushed to my room, changed quickly. He arrived just as I was pulling up the shorts?no underwear.
David and Andie were walking up the street. I waited until they got there, told him where I was going. "Tell Grammy for me, she is napping, so I didn't disturb her," "Cool, Daddy, have fun." And we were off. Once on the interstate, Ben opened up the Porsche. What a ride! The conversation was light and comfortable, no mention of sex or what happened last night. On the 2 lane highway, Ben drove slower, the speed limit. "You have to watch for the locals here, they will stop you in a heartbeat, especially if you are driving an expensive car."
We pulled on to a narrow dirt drive, drove up to this enormous log home. "This is a getaway cabin?" I asked. "Fuck, it is bigger than my house, Ben." He laughed, "Come on, let me show you around." He opened the door, inside was stunning. "How much is this place, Ben, my God, do you need something like this just for weekends?" He was grinning from ear to ear, "I don't know how much it is worth, but if I decided to sell it, I could probably get 800K for it."
"You own this already?" I asked, a little pissed and a lot surprised. "Yeah, I bought it a while back, good price, may list it to see if I get any bites." "Sorry I didn't tell you the truth, but I knew if I told you, you wouldn't come with me." With that, he took me in his arms and kissed me passionately. I pulled away. "Stop it, Ben, we can't do this." He looked shattered.
"Show me around the place, then let's talk." I requested. I was very impressed, but though to myself, typical insecure male with a little dick, showing off his big house, his big hot car, throwing cash around like confetti, yep, truly an insecure male, except for the little dick part. I wondered about myself, my own insecurities?I make good money, but nothing that could support this lifestyle. So,what did I have, my body, sex appeal, what? I looked up to the heavens and thought, "You are testing me, aren't you?"
After the tour, he got us a cool drink, then we sat on the deck. I was watching the river, still a little cool for canoeing, but there were quite a few doing it. "Do you ever get flooded here?" I asked. He said it had come close, but never made it up to the house. "If it does, I think only the garage would be flooded. If it makes it to the first floor, we had better head to the ark."
I finally had the courage to broach the subject of our relationship. I explained my reservations, insecurities, lack of direction and "You are right, I am one fucked up dude." "My feelings are so jumbled, it is impossible to sort out." "Ben, please don't think I am shutting you out, you are definitely part of my dilemma, but to be fair to you, I have to know being with you is for the right reasons, not just because you are a great lover."
"I want a real love, someone I cannot bear to be without, someone that I always put first, no matter what, someone who returns that love to me, unconditionally." "It could be you, it really could, but right now, I don't know." "Do you understand that, Ben?" He shook his head, yes. "Ben, talk to me, please." He thought a few minutes, the said, "Greg, you are worth waiting for, so, yes, I understand." "I am not going to sit here and tell you I don't want to have sex with you, if fact I am hard as nails, and leaking right now, just talking to you."
He got on his knees, took my hand, with tears in his eyes, "Greg, please let it be me." "i know you think sex is the only thing on my mind, well, perhaps it is right now, but I want to be with you, permanently." "I don't want anyone else, I am sick of the one night stands, I need you." He pulled my body to him, his face right at my crotch. I was starting to get hard, no matter how much I tried not to. The fact was, I wanted him, badly.
He realized what was happening, reached up and unzipped my shorts and pulled out my cock. I am so fucking weak, I did not resist. He had me down his throat in a second. I stopped him. "Ben?." He got up, "Sorry, I shouldn't be doing this, so sorry." I pulled his face to mine, looked into his eyes, "I want it as much as you, Ben, maybe even more, but what would we gain, sexual satisfaction, more confusion, more hurt?"
"I don't care, Greg, I want you, I want you in me right now, I need it, please fuck me." I hesitated, which only added fuel to the fire. "Let me ask you something, Greg, why did you not wear underwear, were you hoping for this?" He dropped his shorts, exposing his beautiful hard cock. "See, I did the same thing, but the difference is, I admit it, you can't." He pulled his shorts up, turned to walk away. I grabbed his shoulder, spun him around and kissed him.
"I admit it, I fucking well admit it, I want you as bad as you want me, but the kink in the chain is, WHY?" "Sexual release, love, what?" "Are you happy, Ben, because right now, I don't give a shit, I want you to fuck me, right here on the deck, in the wide open spaces, fuck me." I pulled off my tee shirt, dropped my shorts and bent over the railing, "Fuck me."" I shouted. He started to laugh. "What's so fucking funny?" I yelled.
"You are, Greg, you are." "Come inside, I want to make love to you, not just fuck you." He took my hand, led me inside to the large sectional sofa, laid me down, spread my cheeks and began to rim me. I was out of my mind with desire. "Enough already, fuck me!" He said he had to get lube and condoms. "No, fuck me, spit on my hole, I want you now!" I was damned near hysterical.
He pushed off me, went to the bedroom, came back with a towel, lube and condoms. "I will not fuck you raw until we are tested, D&D free and exclusive to each other, I live for that day." he said. He applied lube to his sheathed cock and my ass, fingering me to loosen me up, then penetrated me, slowly and tenderly. The look on his face was a look of love, not of someone getting his rocks off, but someone who loved me. I tried to speed up but he slowed me down, speaking softly to me, calmly easing me into that euphoric state.
This was how someone should make love to another person. Ben was teaching me about love. And at that moment, I was sure I was in love with him. Slow strokes turned into more aggressive, faster strokes. Soon, I was shooting a huge load, stream after stream, all over my chest, but I remained hard. Before he finally came, I had unloaded 3 times. With my semen and his all on my stomach, chest and face, I was a sticky mess.
He lay on my body, licking my face, kissing me, looking at me with nothing but love. I felt it strongly. I was sexually spent, satisfied, but then the doubts started rolling in. I tried to hide it, but he noticed. "It's ok, Greg, I understand." "I know this complicates things, but I will wait for you to realize what we have is good, it is what we both need, what we deserve, we are right for each other." "Greg Smith, I love you and nothing is ever going to stop that." "I am a patient man." "Let's shower, it is getting late."
In the shower, we bathed each other tenderly. After dressing, he asked, "Regrets?" I said no and explained my theory about regrets. That made him smile. "Me either." "Now, about this period of alone time you need, do it, but before you do, see Gordy again?" I was shocked, "Why?" "Because you have to know if you still want him, are still in love with him, if you don't he will always be the elephant in the room." "I want you, no question, but I want you without doubts, none!"
I said that was incredibly generous of him. "What if I decide I want him and not you, how will you handle that." He said he suspected he would not take it very well, but he was willing to risk it. "I know you love me, Greg, and you will realize it, too one of these days." "And when you realize it, you will come to my open arms and we will have our happy ending." I said I had 3 happy endings today. "Can't you ever be serious?" he asked. "No, because if I do, i will cry and right now, I don 't want to ruin a good day by crying."
We stopped for a bite to eat before getting on the interstate. The drive home was easy, lots of laughter, I loved being with my good friend, Ben. When we pulled into my driveway, I looked around to see if anyone was watching, then I kissed him deeply. "I will call you tomorrow." He said, "No, don't call me until you have gone on your retreat and until you have made a decision, I can wait."
Inside, Mother followed me to my room. "Ok, what gives?" I asked what she meant by that. "Ben, you went out with Ben." "What happened to my upset little boy from this morning?" "Mommy, your upset little boy is not so upset anymore, and I am growing up." "Until I feel I am a big boy again, you are Mommy." She smiled, came over and gave me a big hug and kiss. "By the way, Fr. Jacob called, wants you to call him."
I said I would. But first, I wanted to talk to Gordy. He answered with a sullen tone to his voice. "Gordy, I don't like the way we parted and I want to talk to you, face to face again." "I want to know how you are, how your mother is and I am interested in hearing about your new job." Silence. "Greg, I don't want to see you." I asked why. "Because it hurts too much." "I am trying to move forward with my life." And, I have renewed my friendship with Logan, one of the soccer coaches." SMACK! Right between the eyes.
"What do you mean by renewed?" I asked. "Just that, we had dinner last night, talked about everything, catching up on so many things." He is divorced, never remarried, works construction, coaches soccer, what else do you want to know." He was bordering on anger, so I calmly told him I did not need to know anything more. "I am glad you have a friend, Gordy, friends are always good to have." He said, "Come on Greg, you are dying to know if this friendship is also sexual."
I did not respond. "Well, not yet, but I am working on it." he said emphatically. I was hurt, but completely understood his anger and need to strike out at me. "Gordy, you have to do what is best for you, the same as I have to do." I told him about my plans to go on a retreat to sort out my feelings, to try to get my focus on those I love and become a better man." "I am so sorry I hurt you, Gordy, I truly am." "You mean the world to me and I thank God every day that I know you."
"Can I call you after I return from the retreat?" His tone softened, "Yes, of course you can call me, I don't hate you, Greg, I am just hurt over the whole thing." "It is not all your fault, I can see that." He said he wished me good luck in my quest of self discovery. "I will always love you, Greg and I am thankful for our time together." "Goodbye, Greg."
I sat on the bed, totally stunned. I don't know what I expected, but certainly not to be dismissed like that. See, there I go again, thinking of how this all impacts me. Damn it, why do I do this? I picked up the phone to call Fr. Jacob. When he answered, I identified myself. "So what did you find out, Father?" I asked. He said to please call him Jake. "The only time I can get you in there in the next few months would be mid week, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, the weekends are booked solid for the next 6 months." "Can you do mid week?"
"Jake, if you can, book me for next week, 3 days, I will arrange to be off those days." He said I didn't ask what it cost. "I don't care, whatever, it will be worth every penny." "Greg it is not expensive, I suppose the minimal donation would be $60 per day, which includes 2 simple meals." "Once you have been greeted at the reception area, given literature on the place, taken to your room, you assume the contemplative and natural silence of the monastery and its surroundings."
"That is just what I need." "Thank you so much, Jake." He said he would see me next Sunday. I asked if I could take him to dinner one night this week. He declined, "I have a busy schedule, however, let's schedule dinner after you come back." He gave me his available dates and we selected one. "Looking forward to it, Greg, and may God's blessings follow you on this journey." Amen.
I went out to the living room. "Mommy, I am going to the abbey next week, Tuesday thru Thursday." "That's good, Son, I pray you find peace there." "Mommy, would you offer your Rosary for me tonight?" I asked, knowing she always prayed the Rosary each night when she got in bed. "I will, Son and for David, too." she cut her eyes at him. What the heck was that all about?
I motioned for David to come to my room. Once in there, I said, "What is going on and why is Grammy praying for you?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Ok, I will go ask her myself." "No, Daddy, please don't." He was clearly embarrassed about something. "Grammy catch you and Andie doing the nasty?" "NO!" he said. I said, "Then what?" "Andie and I were on the couch making out, my hand in her pants, hers in mine when Grammy walked in." I started laughing. "It's not funny, Daddy, Andie was mortified; she will probably never come over here again."
When I could control my laughter, I asked what Mother did and said. "Oh, God, it was so embarrassing, she lectured us on teenage sex, everything, then she sent Andie home." "After Andie left, she told me to go change my pants, I had dick juice all over the front." I was rolling on my bed laughing. "It's not funny, Daddy, and that is not all, she grabbed my hand as I walked by, told me I smelled like cat food, to go take a shower." "You know for someone who claims to be so religious, she has a nasty mouth on her." "I wanted to tell her to go to confession, but I figured she would beat my butt if I did."
I was laughing so hard, I thought I would wet my pants. He clearly was not enjoying this. "I'm sorry, David, but I warned you." He asked if she ever caught me doing anything. I said no, but she did find my hidden stash of muscle men magazines. "What, were you gay back then?" I told him the story about wanting to look like those guys, "But understand, I did not look at them sexually." "And she never said anything to me until lately, I never knew."
"Daddy, it is so hard growing up, especially right now." I asked how so? "Well, you said it yourself about the raging hormones in teenagers." I shook my head in agreement. "I don't mean to be gross, but I am?..um?.." I said, "Horny all the time?" "Yeah, horny all the time, it is embarrassing." He asked if I was too at his age. "Probably, I really don't remember." I said. "Did you?" I stopped him.
"David, I am happy you feel comfortable talking to me about such things, it makes me feel I am doing my job being a good parent." He said I was. "But, some things really do not seem appropriate to talk about with my son." I was stammering, trying to put my words together carefully so as not to embarrass him more, yet trying to set limits at the same time. "I feel you are edging on asking me about masturbation, which I am not going to answer or ask you about." "Understand?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "Ok then, I won't ask if 5 times a day is too much!" He laughed and ran out of my room. "Not cool, David!" I shouted after him. I lay across my bed, chuckling to myself. Not only is he smart and good looking, but he has a quick wit about him. I could not be more proud of him. Tears began to well up in my eyes. In one month he will be 16. Two more years of HS and with his GPA, no telling where he will go to college, Yale, Harvard, Stanford!
Letting go is going to be hard. I have to get my life together, I just have to. I took off my shorts, was just about to throw them in the hamper when it noticed it and burst out laughing?.dried dick juice! Oh My God!
Another installment, I have to admit, I cried while writing about Greg's emotional breakdown and him being the little boy again. One would think this was based on something personal, but it is not?totally fictional. Comments?
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