This story is a work of fiction. None of the characters are real and any similarities between this story and/or any characters in it and real life is purely coincidental.
THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN TEENAGE MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! IF YOU FIND THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, OR IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE LEGAL AGE TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.
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While Christopher and I made a cute couple, by early October it was clear to me that our relationship was pretty well doomed to failure. I wasn't a romantic which became a point of frustration for him about a month in. It manifested itself, for him, through insecurity which was completely justified given how my brain worked and the actions it drove. It was something I tried working on, but even something as simple as sending flowers (yellow roses) didn't work out (yellow roses). It didn't occur to me that flowers might have a deeper meaning, I just liked the color yellow and knew he did as well. To be honest, I thought I would get a blowjob out of it for being so thoughtful and considerate. Never, in a million years, would I have thought that it would cause him even greater insecurity.
Sex was another issue for us. We waited for a couple of weeks and tried a variety of things. He tried topping me which he wasn't very good at (it was like being stabbed with a dick) and, while he liked me fucking him, I got the distinct impression that I wasn't... oh, how to put this... satisfying enough. He liked it, but I could tell he wanted more.
In the end, we figured out a sixty nine was most pleasing to us both. And that just created more frustration. While we both considered ourselves versatile at that point, it was clear he was more bottom than anything and just getting head all the time wasn't going to be enough. To make matters worse, his reaction to my topping him magnified my insecurities and had the effect of making me less interested in topping him and that was pretty much the end of things.
The move had been another issue. In the week leading up to it and the one after, I was pretty out of it. Josh and Cat would try to dig me out of the funk, but it just wasn't working. The move itself was seamless. We were, after all, quite experienced thanks to my fathers predilection for building a house, moving us into it, and then selling it. Over and over again.
While I thought I'd dealt with my attachment issues to the damn house, I was still melancholy as hell which made Christopher even more insecure because he assumed, despite reassurances from Josh and me, it must have something to do with him. The week after the move, when he was on about it, I blew up at him and told him, "Not everything is about you. Quit being such a damn narcissist!"
Glenn got in my face because of that the very next day and I lost it.
"What the hell are you thinking calling Christopher a narcissist?" he asked, confronting me in the hallway.
"HE IS. Everything I've been dealing with has nothing to do with him but he can't be persuaded of that. Oh no, he thinks it's all about him, no matter how many times I tell him it's not. It's frustrating as hell!"
And silence. Both he and Willy just stood there. I knew people in the hall heard, but they were at least wise enough to ignore it and move on. There were a few people I noticed looking at me and I just returned their stare with one of my own, basically daring them to say something.
Willy started to interject and I shut him off.
"Look, Glenn, I'm going through some pretty big changes at home and Willy, Josh, Brent, and just about everyone else who knows me will tell you it's sometimes hard for me to process change. I've tried to get that through to Christopher but it's not working. I don't know what the fuck to do."
Glenn just stared at me for a bit, I think trying to figure out what to say.
"OK, let me talk to him. Maybe I can get help him understand." he responded.
I just rolled my eyes as I started to walk away, "Fine. Whatever. Maybe he'll listen to you because he sure as hell isn't listening to me."
Willy had to rush to catch up to me before I walked into English and grabbed my arm to stop me.
"What?" I asked roughly.
"Just calm down, dude." he said.
I had to give myself a second to breathe as the warning bell went off. I was so frustrated I realized I was blinking back tears.
All I could think to say to Willy was a softly uttered, "Sorry."
"It's OK man. I know nothing seems to be working right now and I know Christopher is kind of making it worse. Just know I'm here for you, even if it's just to get away for the weekend."
I hugged him as tightly as I could, "Thanks for that, Willy."
When I saw Christopher later that day, I told him again what I was going through and he finally seemed to get it. Slowly I broke through my funk and got acclimated to living at a house I still didn't consider my home. I know it had to be annoying for Josh and Neil since I kept asking if I could use something or have something. Neil and mother finally sat me down that Thursday night and calmly re-explained this was MY house, too, and that I didn't need permission to use something or eat something.
By the second week in October, I was better and Christopher seemed to rally a bit. My father, however, was a much different story and was still unhappy about the move. The weekend after my first really good week, he decided Cat and I needed to stay with him for the weekend. I told him I was good, but reminded him it was homecoming and that I would be going to the game with Christopher on Friday and that Saturday we were going to out. When didn't flinch or grumble, I assumed he was going to be OK.
My father picked us up from school on Friday and drove us out to the house. It was an ordinary Friday afternoon, nothing terribly special about it. When we got there, I grabbed something to eat and then went to get started on homework. About 530, I took a shower and got dressed. When I came downstairs I had the boutonniere Christopher had given me for homecoming and asked my father to help me put it on. As he put it on I could tell there was some tension.
"Daddy, what's wrong," I asked.
He cleared his throat, "It's just that I didn't think I'd be doing this with something another boy gave you. It's just strange."
"You knew this was going to happen. You knew this weekend was homecoming, so why did you make such a big deal about having us this weekend?"
He sighed, blinking back some water in his eyes. "Because I love you and I wanted to spend time with you." he paused, for just a second or two, "I'm trying my best, son."
I put my hand over his and met his eyes. "I know. And I appreciate it. I love you, too."
He smiled, weakly, and said, "All done."
I went to look at myself in the mirror and thought I looked good. It was still warm in Texas, but comfortable and I was wearing a pair of chinos, a plaid button down shirt and a black coat. The boutonniere was on my lapel.
I turned back to him and said, "Thank you."
We stood there in kind of an awkward silence for a minute or two before Christopher rang the bell and my father went to open the door.
"Mr. Hallstrom? I'm Christopher Davis and I'm here to pick up..." and that was all he got out as my father turned and walked away from the door.
"Dad?" I called after him.
"Just go and have fun."
And that was it.
We both stood there, watching him walk away, and finally our eyes settled on one another.
Christopher was the first to speak, "Did I do something wrong?"
I flatly responded, "No." and then paused for a second, willing a smile to my face, "You look fantastic."
He smiled back and kinda shifted to one leg. It really was adorable when he did it and it always drew me in for a kiss.
The game was good, no injuries, and we won. It was the first game I actually got to watch because Christopher was off almost the entire time chatting with friends while he left 'his man' to watch the game. Brent actually rolled his eyes at that one and I didn't even bother to give him shit about it. During halftime, they did the homecoming court. Willy and Susie were the freshman members, Josh and some chick I didn't know were for the sophomores (and that was a REALLY sore subject for Josh who was pissed as hell he couldn't be out there with Lane). The ceremony was cheesy, but it was nice.
Afterward, we stopped at Mitchells for a burger then went out to Dave Morrisons. Most of the varsity, including Josh and Willy, were about 20 minutes behind us and we all clapped as they started to arrive. Josh and Lane came over to us and we all chatted for a bit. It was a little after 10 and I was still nursing my first beer. Christopher was on his third. That was really just the start. He was having a great time and it was clear he wasn't interested in stopping.
Another hour passed and I was really worried about Christopher driving me home. Scratch that, I DIDN'T want him driving me home. I had, at one point, pulled him aside to ask him to please stop drinking so he could drive and his response was a clenched teeth tirade about how I didn't need to worry, that he'd get me home OK EVEN THOUGH I'd had to temerity (not his word, mine) to watch the game rather than go with him to gossip about bullshit.
That grabbed Glenn's attention and he pulled him aside. I just stood there, like an idiot, realizing my life was in the hands of a jackass. At that point, I knew it was over. He was arguing with Glenn and I watched for about a minute before I felt Lane's arm around my waist.
"Josh is getting a ride for you. Don't worry."
"I'm not, I'm too angry right now."
Lane sighed, "Come on, let Glenn handle this."
We turned and walked over to where Josh was talking to Ben. Apparently, he had to be up early tomorrow anyway and since he lived fairly close to the ranch, he agreed to give me a ride home. I didn't even speak, the whole thing just had me wrapped up and a little overwhelmed, so I just meekly followed him to his truck, got in, and we left.
We got about five minutes down the road before he finally spoke.
"Man, I know this all hurts, but sleep on it before you start thinking about doing anything you can't take back."
I just glanced over at him and smiled, "I know. I really just want to put this behind me. It's been a long day and a long couple of weeks."
The rest of the drive we were both silent. I gave him the code for the gate and he drove me up to the house. As I got out I thanked him for the ride and told him I'd see him later.
"We still on for Sunday?" he asked, referring to helping me practice for baseball. I just smiled back and said, "Absolutely. Thanks again." and I closed the door and walked to the house.
My father's house needed an actual key which was kind of a pain in the ass, but he'd wanted it that way. I used mine and walked inside, heading for the stairs before I heard my father's voice from the living room.
"Rob?"
"Yes sir?" I replied.
He appeared briefly and looked at me. "What happened?"
I just smiled, "Nothing dad, I'm just home a little early." I replied, I thought holding it together pretty well.
"Bullshit... what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing. Christopher had too much to drink so Ben Mitchell gave me a ride home."
He looked at me, eyes narrowed, intently as if trying to discern whether or not I was telling the truth. Not whether or not I was upset or if I needed some support, just trying to ascertain my truthfulness. It was the icing on the cake of the entire shitastic day.
"Ok, kiddo, just glad you're home OK. Good night, son," he said.
"Good night, dad." And with that I turned and walked upstairs.
I wasn't about to lose it in front of him. To be honest, I didn't want to lose it at all. Christopher had me raging but I knew damn well, it was something I could deal with tomorrow.
When I got to my room, I stripped off what I was wearing, took a quick shower, and climbed in bed desperate for a decent night's sleep.
The next morning I got up and went to drive around on the four wheeler early. The mornings were a little cooler now and it was nice getting out and breathing some fresh air. I got back to the house around 830 and had breakfast with my father. He asked me some questions about what happened the previous night, so I gave him some more detail making special note of the fact that when Christopher started to melt down, Josh was the one who stepped up and made sure I got back to the ranch in one piece.
Christopher started calling about 11. I basically ignored him until around 1 when I realized there was only one way forward.
When I finally picked up the phone, there was silence for about five seconds after I said hello, almost as though he couldn't believe he wasn't going to leave another voicemail.
"Hello?" he asked.
"What do you need?" I responded.
"Babe, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or cause you any pain." he said.
"Christopher, I don't think you did it intentionally, but I also don't think this was something we would have avoided."
"What do you mean?" he asked, hurriedly.
"I mean last night was about frustration. You're frustrated with me because I'm not what you want. I get it. Instead of focusing on what we DO have, which is the possibility of being friends, we're both trying to make a relationship happen that just isn't going to work."
He sighed, "So that's it?"
I responded, "You see something else?"
Another deep sigh, damn near a sob, "No. You're right. I really don't want to lose you but I know it's not working for either of us."
"Well, then think of it this way. You're losing a boyfriend and gaining a friend." I paused for a second, "Look, this isn't easy for either of us, but we both know at this point it's what has to happen."
I heard him sniffle a bit on the other end, "Yeah, I know." he said, softly. "Do you still trust me enough to go to the dance with me tonight?"
I smiled, "Of course. I'll even dance with you if you think we can get away with it."
"Deal."
My father had a date and Cat was spending the night with a friend (slumber party! YAY!) so they were gone by 6. Christopher picked me up at 7 and we went to grab something to eat and talk. The conversation was good, more along the lines of what we'd talked about earlier, and I knew things were going to work out. He was a really good person, but he would make a lousy boyfriend because he wasn't adaptable or particularly tolerant. He knew exactly what he wanted, the problem was he didn't realize yet that the perfect guy wasn't something you could manipulate into existence.
We got to the dance a little around 830 and had a good time. For me it was really cool, for him and everyone else, a little less than cool. There were still times when I felt like the eighth grader who'd snuck into something, so I felt like 'YAY! High School Dance!' while everyone else thought, 'When can we get out of here and go party?'.
The answer to that question turned out to be a little after 10 when the kids who were old enough to drive or had rides left en masse to head to GOB's. Christopher and I had pretty well covered ourselves so there weren't too many people at the party who asked how things were going.
As we were pulling up to the house, I asked, "Are you taking me home tonight?"
Christopher, not missing a beat, said, "Well, unless you get lucky. Or I do." with a wicked grin.
"Way too soon, Christopher," I replied.
"Oh, shit Rob! I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be flippant. I thought it was kind of..." he stopped as he looked over at me, and saw me smiling. "You shithead! You were just fucking with me?"
I just kept the smile on my face. "Yeah, I was. Sorry, I couldn't resist."
"Very funny, and of course I'm taking you home. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a repeat of last night and the last thing I want to do is screw up again."
I was actually the one who had a little too much to drink, ironically. GOB, as soon as we walked through the door, handed me a Solo cup filled to the brim with what tasted like fruit punch with a little booze in it. As it turned out, after that first glass, there was a lot more than a little booze in it. I was extremely chatty, the belle of the ball, until the glass was empty and then I desperately needed more. I ran into Lane as I was getting in line.
"Dude, did you try the punch? It's AAAAAMAZING!" I said, not slurring too badly.
Lane said, "Oh my God, how much of that did you drink?"
I replied, "Not much, GOB gave me a Solo cup filled with it and it was really good."
Lane kinda laughed, "Yeah, I bet it was. Come on, let's go get you some water to sip on and find Josh and Christopher."
"But I don't really want water,"I replied in my whiniest voice, "I want more punch!"
"Yeah, you have another one of those and Josh will kill me and then you."
We walked to the kitchen where he filled my cup with water and then out the patio to find Josh which didn't take long since he was talking to Alan and his new girlfriend whose name I honestly don't remember (let's just say Alan had a lot of girlfriends over the years and I lost track).
As we walked up to them, Lane had his arm around my shoulders and he said, "Look who I found in the line for punch." Which prompted a big smile from Alan and a stern look from Josh.
"Did you drink any of that?" Josh asked.
"Yeah, GOB gave me a glass. It was really good."
"Oh my God, are you drinking more of it..." he asked, with an excited tone, but was quickly interrupted by Lane who said, "No, I pulled him away and got him some water. Relax."
Josh just looked at me, "Seriously, that stuff has a ton of grain alcohol in it. You shouldn't drink it because it will fuck you up badly."
I'd had about enough. While I really didn't mind (and, honestly, sometimes loved) Josh as protective older brother, talking to ME about drinking was just too far. "Oh? Like it would get me drunk enough to start telling private things about others?" Which made Alan, who was taking a drink from a beer as I said it, cough and sputter.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Josh asked.
I just smiled back at him, sipping my water, "Nothing. Or, maybe, Alan can tell you. I'm going to look for Christopher." And with that I walked away to find Christopher talking to Ben about 20 feet from us.
When I walked up they both looked at me with big grins on their faces and I stopped short a bit and asked, "What?"
Ben just smiled, "How was the punch?"
I just smiled back and said, "Damn good!"
They both told me not to drink any more of it and we talked for a while. Ben and Christopher were actually really good friends and had been talking about schools they were thinking about. Ben was hoping for a scholarship to play ball, which wasn't all that unlikely. Christopher was trying for Julliard
About 20 minutes later, around 1115, Josh came over looking like he'd just killed my dog. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
I just looked back at him with this giant smile on my face. Ben had already taken off after agreeing to pick me up tomorrow around 2 and Christopher just stood there.
"Josh, it was just me giving you some shit. PLEASE don't worry about it."
Christopher, taking a keen interest in this, asked, "Alright, what's up?"
Josh just looked like he was going to be physically ill. He'd betrayed me and no matter how innocent it was, or the fact that he'd done it to someone we both should have trusted with the information, he was obviously feeling bad.
I just smiled at him and touched his arm, saying "It's OK." I looked over at Christopher and filled him in on the story from the New Years party where Josh got drunk and asked Alan to look after me because I was gay.
Christopher actually teared up a bit, "Oh my God, that's so damn sweet. And neither of them ever said anything to you about it?"
Josh just shook his head no with a completely beaten look on his face. All I could think to do, right at that minute, was give him a hug.
"Thanks, but I don't feel like I deserve it," he said.
"I know, but you do. I wasn't ever upset... well, until you got on my ass about the punch." I finished, smiling.
By this point it was after 1130 so Christopher and I said our goodbyes and he drove me home to what looked like an empty house. I went to the kitchen, grabbed something to eat, then went upstairs to shower and climb in bed.
I really felt good the next day. Daddy was already up by the time I rolled downstairs and had made some sort of egg casserole thing that was pretty decent. Cat was having none of it (since there were ONIONS in it), so she got toast and cereal while we made fun of her.
About 145 I packed up a few things and told my father bye as Ben pulled up in front of the house. My father, gave me a hug and told me to have fun. He was still pretty awkward at hugs, but at least I knew he was trying. I know now that weekend was tough for him in a way he hadn't anticipated.
Ben and I practiced for 90 minutes and it was some of the best instruction I'd ever received. Ben was just a natural at baseball. He was good at fielding, pitching, and batting. He knew the game inside and out. It took him five minutes to read me and what I needed help with. By the end, I was exhausted as we sat on the ground drinking Gatorade. I looked over at him at one point and he caught me.
"What?" he asked.
I took a drink from the bottle, "Ben, I can't thank you enough for doing this with me. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it."
He reached over and ruffled my hair, then disgustedly looked at his sweat covered hand before shaking it out which cause us both to laugh.
"Dude, you don't need to thank me. Coach told me out of all the kids coming up, you were the one he really liked because you were pretty good at it and really loved the game. I sort of saw that when you asked me to help you and when we got out here today, it didn't take me long to realize he was right."
We talked a little more and he was honest with me about what he thought my chances were for varsity (good, but not great). About four he took me out to what was now my house. Mother was the only one there and very happy to see me. Josh and Neil had gone into Dallas to look at cars since Josh was turning 16 in a few days. So, it gave us a chance to talk.
My mother wasn't a nervous person, but that afternoon I could tell she had something she needed to get out.
"Neil asked me if it would be OK to have you standing with him and Josh at the wedding." she started. "I told him no."
I just sat there for a second, not really knowing how to respond. Thankfully, she continued.
"I didn't want you standing with him because I want you to walk me down the aisle with your grandfather. Are you up for that?"
I cleared my throat, "You want me to join granddaddy in giving you away?"
She smiled, eyes filling with water, and nodded. I jumped up and hugged her.
"Of course, mom! I'll be happy to do whatever you want."
She kind of laughed and said, "Well, thank you. I know none of this has been easy, but I love you and I want you to be part of this."
"Of course. I'm honored."
She wiped away a tear, "Good. Now, go get cleaned up because you really need a shower."
The rest of October was pretty much a blur. Football was good and the varsity, especially, was kicking some serious ass. School had pretty much ground down to the routine and Christopher and I continued to do things as friends, which meant we cut off our sexual activity. To be honest, it was fun now talking to him since neither of us had to worry about roles we were playing and we could really be ourselves.
All of that paled in comparison to The Wedding. Mother wasn't bridezilla or anything, but there was some definite stress regarding how things should go, what would be worn, every single detail was thoughtfully analyzed and a decision was made. Then it was revisited about twenty thousand times and a final decision was made.
Take the pants on the suit she had made for me. The legs were cuffed. CUFFFFEEEDDD! I didn't mind and said as much when I was being fitted and my mother said, through clenched teeth, "But you'll be the only one with cuffed pants!"
So, they fixed that. Or ran up some new pants. I never really got a straight answer as to the solution.
Josh turned 16 on the 20th and passed his drivers test. That night, we had a little party at the house and Neil presented him the keys to his Range Rover. Josh was appreciative but clearly pretty crestfallen. He'd made no attempt to hide the fact that he desperately wanted a Mercedes coup. Neil, for his part, had made no attempt to hide the fact that he thought it was absolutely ridiculous for a sixteen year old, no matter the financial situation of their parents, to drive a $90,000 car. A three year old $90,000 SUV was, apparently, just fine since it gave Neil an excuse to buy a new car.
That Friday we'd all gone out with Josh driving and it was nice not to have to depend on Jay, GOB, Ben, Christopher or someone else for a ride. On the way home, after dropping off Lane, I made the comment that while it may not have been what he wanted, it was a really sweet ride.
Josh, just looked at me and laughed. "You know, I didn't really want that Mercedes, right?"
"Like hell, it's all you've been talking about for over a month."
"I did that because I needed my dad to think that was really what I wanted. I think sometimes he needs to feel like the responsible adult that's teaching his kid a much deserved lesson. So, if I play the part on this, he lets something else slide. Besides, if I hadn't done that, I'd have probably ended up with a 10 year old Suburban like Jay." he finished, laughing.
"Alright, so there's some method to your madness."
"Damn right," he finished with a smile.
After that night, everything just got hectic. Halloween wasn't even fun and by the time the rehearsal dinner rolled around, on Wednesday November 3rd, we were all ready to cut loose. At least a little since I had school and a game the next day and Josh had a game on Friday. My mother, at one point, pulled us both aside and told us "No injuries".
The rest of the week went really well. We won our game on Thursday and varsity won theirs on Friday. Of course, after the game there was nothing but going home since we had to be functional the next day. The tent was already up at the house and the weather was cooperating. My grandparents and Neil's mother were both staying with us. I'd met Neil's mother once before and she was a really nice lady. Mother had said she had some tough questions for her, but that in the end they were good. I think she thought, on some level, my mother was after Neil's money. Meeting my grandparents set her straight on that. My grandparents, for their part, absolutely loved her, mostly because she drank and they loved drinking. I guess it's what you do when you're retired and have all this time on your hands.
I got out of bed kind of early the day of the wedding to find the house a nightmare of activity. I really just wanted something to eat since I was starving and the kitchen was taken over by caterers. I was standing there trying to figure out what to do ( I mean, I could make some eggs for myself. I may have been 15, but I wasn't one of those freak 15 year old boys who needed mommy to make all his meals) to get them out of the damn way when I felt Josh's hands on my shoulders.
"We need to get the hell out of here. Come on." he whispered in my ear. I just nodded my head in response.
We both went out to his car and sped off.
"OK, we have, at best, two hours before Cat wakes up and she will be hungry so we gotta get her something too."
He just snorted, "Like I don't know that." and looked over at me with this dumb look on his face which made me laugh.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"I don't know, I want to be out of there for a while. What about Denny's?"
Excitedly, I said, "What about Waffle House?"
"Damn, bro! I likes the way you think!"
It took about 20 minutes to get there but it was totally worth it. Waffles swimming in butter and that fake maple syrup, bacon, sausage and eggs with American cheese. Waffle House still makes me happy.
After the shoveling enough to staunch the pain in our stomachs (I don't know about Josh but I was literally feeling my stomach spasming), we relaxed a bit.
He looked over at me at one point with this big smile. "I love you, man. I know I say it all the time, but I really do. I am so happy for all of us."
I smiled back, "I am, too. I'm not looking forward to today, but I'm definitely looking forward to the days after it."
We kept eating and chatting, then realized we needed to head back. On our way we stopped at the doughnut place and bought a dozen chocolate doughtnuts for Cat. When we got back to the house, we marched straight to her room and knocked on the door. She finally opened it, looking a little sleepy, and immediately turned back to her bed.
"Cat, Josh and I got you something for breakfast."
She turned back, quickly, with a wary eye. "What did you get me?"
Josh had been holding the box behind him and has he brought to his front, he opened it. Cat literally gasped. She grabbed the box, threw it on her bed and hugged both of us.
Josh said, "So, I guess you like it?"
"Of course I do!" and she turned, back toward her bed, then immediately whipped back around. Before she could open her mouth I spoke up.
"We didn't do anything to them. And they're not to make up for something. We left to go to Waffle House and decided to grab them on the way back for you. There's no motive other than that we love you."
She just smiled and said, "OK. Y'all leave, I need to eat and get ready."
And with that, we were dismissed. Josh left to go to his room and I went down to Neil and my mother's room to check on her. Neil had stayed in the cabana house last night. At least, that's what he told us. I'm pretty sure he actually spent the night at the Marriott where he'd been drinking with some old friends in town for the wedding.
I knocked at the door and waited until she told me to come in.
I opened the door and walked down the little hallway before coming into the main part of the bedroom which was BIG. There was a California king bed and in another part of the room, a seating area with a TV. There was also another TV in front of the bed. It was a nice place for them to come to, mostly to get away from us.
"Hey honey!" she said. She was lying in bed, drinking coffee watching something that looked liked Lifetime.
"Hey mom,"I said as I sat down on the bed. She reached over to brush some hair off my forehead. "I know, I need a haircut!"
"That's not what I was going to say! I was actually going to say that it looks good a little longer. Now that football is over, you want to wear it a little longer?"
"I don't know. With everything going on, I haven't even thought about it. I guess?"
She just smiled at me, "I promise, it'll get a lot less hectic tomorrow."
I left her room and walked back to mine after she reminded me I needed to be ready by 4 for pictures. I heard my phone chime and noticed a text from Bruce.
"We're here. See you tonight. Any chance I can crash with you? :)?"
I smiled, replying, "Sure. Can't wait to see you :)"
The thought of spending the night with Bruce had me a little anxious and being 15, that meant rubbing one out. Or two. It provided the relief I needed and I laid down to sleep for a few hours and woke up to Josh sitting on my bed, staring at me.
I didn't jump, I wasn't scared. It was Josh sitting there smiling after all, I just tried to blink away the sleep, then realized that really wasn't going to do the trick and had to rub my eyes out.
"What's up, everything OK?"
"Yeah, was just watching you sleep for a bit. You're just so damn cute when you're asleep it's really something, like you're just totally at peace with the world."
I just yawned and stretched a bit, "I am. It's also just hilarious my brother thinks I'm cutest when I'm asleep, which means he's really my brother!" That earned me a pile on. I had to wiggle out from underneath him and I ran over to my dresser.
"I got something for you," I said as I opened the top drawer and dug the box out.
"Oh, man, you didn't have to do that!"
I smiled back, sheepishly, "Well, TECHNICALLY, I didn't. Cat and I did and to be really honest, mother had to help us pay for it." I finished as I handed him the box.
His eyes lit up when he realized what it was. He'd been wanting a TAG Heuer watch for a year. It wasn't the exact model he wanted, but it was close. As he opened the box, I could tell he was pretty excited. He pulled the watch out and held it in his hand, then he looked up at me.
"Thank you so much for this."
"Turn it over and look at the inscription,"I told him, excitedly.
He looked at it for a minute or two, completely silent. When he looked back up at me, he had tears running down his cheeks. The inscription was carefully put around the outer edge of the back of the watch.
Family Forever 11/6/10 Love, Cat and Rob
I said, "So you like it?"
He jumped up and hugged me tight, thankfully remembering that I had ribs and lungs.
"I love it! I can't tell you what it means to me."
I just smiled up at him, "I know, bro. We wanted to do something special for you."
"Damn," he said, wiping his eyes with his hands, "I didn't get anything for you guys."
"Oh, stop. We did it because we wanted you to know we're family. We already know how you feel, but we wanted to make sure you knew how WE felt."
That earned me another hug. As he broke it, he looked at me and I realized I had the coolest older brother on the planet. Middle kids often bitch and whine about being the middle kid, but I love Josh and my sister. There is no way in hell, even to this day, I would give up either of them or my spot between them.
He wiped away some more tears, then quietly said, "I'm going to go thank Cat" as he walked out my door. I glanced over at the clock which read 310 and realized I needed to get my ass in gear. Thankfully, mother and Neil had agreed on simple clothing for the wedding. Black suits and black ties for the guys which meant it didn't take me long to get ready.
When I was done I checked myself in the mirror. Though I was still stuck 5'8" and 155 pounds, I actually looked pretty damn good. I wish like hell I was taller, but the folks who made my suit did an excellent job and the cut of it made me look really nice. As I walked out of my room, I felt like a million bucks until I ran into Josh who at 6'1" and 230 pounds looked like a fucking stud.
"DAMN Bro... you look fucking hot!" I told him, which prompted giggles from some of the female staff who were working the wedding. He came over and hugged me.
"You think Lane will think so?" he asked.
I just answered back, flatly, "Yeah, unless he's suddenly gone blind."
About 415 we took some pictures with the groom and groomsmen. My grandfather and I also joined in. By 5, Lane showed up and they made their way to Josh's room for a little reunion. I was talking to my grandfather who was drinking a bourbon. I looked at the glass and asked if I could have a sip and he said, "Of course, but take it easy."
I did. And I actually liked it... it was a little like the scotch my father drank, but not as harsh. Everyone my age thinks it's pretty gross unless it's mixed with something sweet, like Coke. He finally took the glass away from me.
"Well, obviously you didn't think it was too bad. You nervous or did you really like it?" he asked.
I just blurted out, "I liked it." which brought a huge smile to his face as he started yelling to my grandmother who was taking pictures with the women to come over.
"What has you so agitated, David?" she asked.
"Robin (it was always Robin with these two, never Rob... it drove me a little crazy), tell your grandmother what you just told me."
"I like bourbon?" I said, kind of unsure where this was going. He just looked at me, beaming, then up at my grandmother with the massive smile on his face.
My grandmother just looked at me with a little smile, then back at my grandfather and said, "DO NOT let him drink too much. If you ruin this, I will kill you."
Which just made my grandfather laugh and tell her, "Oh, OK. I'll make sure he's fine."
As she walked away he said, "Come on, let's go get you one and I train you how to drink without being obnoxious."
We got up from the patio, then walked into the house toward one of the bars that had been set up for guests. My mother had planned for drinks and hors d'oeuvres from 6 to 7, then the ceremony, then dinner after.
My grandfather's advice was pretty solid. "Sip, don't gulp and make sure every other one to drink some water until you feel like you can handle it. No more than one an hour." We also talked, mostly about my mother and us.
"Boy-o, I really like Neil and Josh but I'm worried about you and Cat. How is she handling all this?"
I took another sip of the drink he'd given me, "She's doing fine. I don't think there's a way to ever throw Cat off her game."
"Alright, what about you?" he asked, as he looked at me intently. It didn't really feel like the third degree, but I also knew my mother talked to them frequently and probably shared her concerns.
"I love Neil and Josh. I'm happy for mother. It's a lot of change and I really liked the old house. I'm pretty much past it at this point, but for a while I know I was out of it, especially around the move. It took a lot more out of me than I'd have ever thought possible."
He just nodded, with the smile on his face, as if he was proud of me. "You just remember, you're mother loves you, and so do your grandmother and I, unconditionally. You don't ever have to beat yourself up about what you're feeling and I want you to know I'm always a phone call away."
I gave him a hug with that one and held it until I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Bruce. At that moment, you could have knocked me over with the tap of a finger. He looked, well, just fucking amazing. Like Josh, but so much more and he had this smile on his face that was at once reassuring and also full of desire. It was strange how it affected me.
I stood there, just staring at him for a good thirty seconds before my grandfather cleared his throat.
"Oh, grandaddy, this is Bruce Martinez, Josh's best friend from Laguna. Bruce, this is my grandfather, David Connolly."
My grandfather immediately put on his best smile and stuck out his hand to shake Bruce's. "Great to meet you, son."
Bruce, not missing a beat, said, "Very nice meeting you as well, sir."
My grandfather glanced at me, then at Bruce then leaned in to my ear and whispered, "This one's got it pretty bad. Be careful with him. Oh, and be careful yourself." and he pulled back, gave me a wink, and said "Well, I'm going to go see what the ladies are up to," and he looked at his watch, "Need you in there at 645, sound good?"
"Yes sir."
"Alrighty." and he walked away. I always loved my grandfather but at that moment, if I'd had to choose between him and anyone else in the world, it would have been him.
Bruce still had that damn smile on his face. I asked him, "So, did you bring your bag?"
"Yeah," and he moved his shoulder to indicate his backpack.
"Great, let's go back to my room so you don't have to carry it around all night." Subtle, right? Of course not... it was SMOOOOOTH.
We barely made it through the door before his hands were on my ass and he was lifting me so that my face was level with his. I put my arms around his neck and we kissed for what seemed like forever. It was exactly like the kiss he'd given me the last time I'd seen him and it was amazing. I finally had to break it.
He looked at me with concern, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, except that in about 30 minutes I have to walk my mother down the aisle to marry some dude and I don't want to do it with an erection or a giant dogwater stain."
He just smiled, gave me a little peck and then lowered me back to the ground. At 6'3" and 270 pounds he seemed massive compared to me. I was absolutely certain he could lift me with one arm.
I took another sip from my glass which made him snort, "You better slow down there, champ, or you're going to be stumbling you're mother down the aisle."
So, I told him the story about my grandfather and the bourbon as we walked back down to my mother's room. I gave him a quick kiss, up on my toes, and went on inside while he went back to the party. I walked right into the main part of the room right at 6:45 and saw my mother looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her before. She was talking to Mrs. Yannis, one of her friends from college with whom she kept in near constant communication. I just stood there until Mrs. Yannis nodded toward me and my mother turned and smiled at me.
"Hey sweety, how do I look?" she asked.
I kinda stammered a bit and finally blurted out, "Gorgeous" which prompted a cheer from the room and a "Mission Accomplished" from my mother.
THEN she noticed the glass in my hand and she immediately made her way to me.
"What is that?" she asked in just that tone that let me know she was really angry. Thankfully, my grandfather stepped in at just that moment.
"I got the boy a drink. He's been sipping the same one for almost an hour. He's fine Bethany."
She looked at him, clearly not happy, but not about to jump on him. She looked back at me, "Are you OK?"
I put the glass down on a small table near where I was standing and looked back at her, "Yes, ma'am. I promise, I wouldn't mess this up for you."
She reached out to hug me and I felt how much she loved me. I mean, I always did when she hugged me but today it was really nice, knowing the kind of stress she was under. She pulled back and looked me up and down.
"You look really handsome," was all she said, a tear running down her cheek. "Thank you for doing this."
About two minutes later, the processional started and the bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way down the aisle. Not long after, my grandfather to her right and me on her left, we made our way down the aisle. When we approached the music stopped and the minister (Rev. Dillon from our church) asked "Who presents this woman to be married to this man?"
My grandfather cleared his throat and said loudly, "Her mother and I do", then Rev. Dillon turned his eyes to me and I said, probably a little to quickly, "My sister and I do, and with joy in our hearts we accept Neil and his son, Josh, as family."
My grandfather stepped away and I led my mother up to Neil. He hugged me and then I went to sit next to my grandmother who had this giant smile on her face. As I sat down she whispered, "You did so well, sugar!" and I just smiled back at her while mouthing 'thank you'.
The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch and the reception was a lot of fun. At 10, the car came to pick up my newly minted parents and whisked them away to the airport for a trip to Turks and Caicos.
Around and an hour later the last of the guests were leaving and Bruce and I made our way to my room. I was actually really tired but as soon as the door closed, I geared back up quickly. He'd been extremely honest about how horny he was, but I had no idea what I was in for. At first we just went at each other, trying to touch, feel, and lick everything but we eventually calmed down and relaxed enough to really enjoying being together. The actual sex didn't last too long because by that point we were both pretty keyed up. Neither of us had the energy after for anything other than curling up together and falling into a deep sleep. I felt so comfortable in his arms that I really didn't know if I wanted to wake up.
The next morning, I opened my eyes and rubbed out the sleep as I looked up to find him staring back at me.
"Good morning" he said, in a breathless way.
I stretched out, loving the feeling of being this close to him and replied, "Yes, it is."
We ended up having sex again before we cleaned up and got ready for his parents to pick him up. He was ready and out the door before me, which gave me time to think about what had happened and realize that despite all my best efforts, I had feelings for someone who lived more than thousand miles away.
After I was dressed, I was walking down to the kitchen when I heard Bruce and Josh talking.
"... it fucking tears me up. I know I should be happy with whatever time we have together, but damn it hurts when it ends." Bruce said.
Josh just sighed, "I know. I think it hurts him just as much. I was afraid this would happen..."
"Stop it, dude. I don't need the 'I told you so' bullshit. I will never regret any of this, I'm just telling you how I feel."
"OK, but think about it from his perspective for a fucking minute. He just came out and had his first date with a guy, then we moved him in here and threw his world off balance, then he breaks up with his first boyfriend, and now his mother just got remarried. I know it's hard for you, but don't do anything to fuck with him. He doesn't deserve it."
"Damnit, Josh! I fucking know that..."
Josh cut him off, his voice raised, "Then act like it instead of being a self indulgent kid. Be the man he needs you to be, not some child who goes on endlessly about how unfair it all is."
Then silence until Bruce finally said, "I will. I promise."
I had backed up a little in the hallway and started walking forward into the kitchen, right past them, to the refrigerator to get some juice. The two of the just sat there looking at one another until Bruce got up to use the bathroom.
Josh just looked over at me as I made my way to the table and sat.
"Is there anything to eat? I'm starved," I asked him.
"Sure, there's a ton of food left from last night. Want me to make you a tenderloin sandwich?" he asked.
Before I could answer Bruce ambled back in and leaned in for a kiss. "Make that two, please!"
We sat and ate in relative silence, just looking at each other. I could tell he was still upset, the redness around his eyes left no room for doubt there. But, he'd taken Josh's advice and I was grateful for that. Josh, as usual, had completely nailed my emotional state and just how much further I could go. Waking up with Bruce and realizing I honestly had feelings for him was about as close as I could get to the edge.
Not long after, Bruce's parents texted that they were in the front and I got up to walk him to the door. Before he walked out he turned and gave me a hug that actually popped my back and made me groan. He kissed me once more and then he was walking down from the house, getting in the car, and driving off.
The rest of the day I was pretty melancholy. Josh got me out of it by forcing me to get on a four wheeler with him. We went down to the lake that sat below the house and talked. It was good to let it out because, even if there weren't tears, I still missed him. I really wish things had been different and sometimes even now, 19 months later, I wonder what might have been if we'd moved to California or if Bruce had moved here. Would I have ever met Toby? Would I still have fallen in love with him if I did?
Later that night I couldn't sleep and made my way to Josh's room. I didn't want to wake him up, but I ended up doing just that.
"What's wrong," he asked in a groggy voice.
"I can't sleep. Can I get in bed with you?" I asked in a voice so small I barely recognized it as coming from me. Josh just smiled and lifted up the covers, letting me get in with him. As his arm curled around me and he pulled me back to him, I fell into a deep sleep. I look back now and realize that night was me getting comfortable with the fact that sometimes I just needed to be around others, that I couldn't do it all myself. Sometimes, life would just demand more of me than I could give and I would have to lean on someone, no matter how weak I thought it made me look.
Neil and my mother would be gone until the 17th, but we had Mrs. Trautman and Josh who could both drive. My father, of course, had been a dick about the whole thing but finally relented given that it would be best for us to maintain our schedules during the week. Plus, Cat threw a total fit at one point about spending 10 days at his house. It was truly epic, even the Academy would have given her at least a nomination if not the Oscar.
See, she didn't really care but she knew I did. Of course, we'd be there the following weekend, and we were both fine with that, but she knew that I was really just getting settled where we were and didn't need yet another disruption. Mother tried explaining it to him but he was having none of it. Cat, being very perceptive, took a different approach.
He can say no to me and mother, but it's quite a different story when it's his little girl.
The rest of November was pretty good. Varsity made it two games into the playoffs before being beaten by a damn field goal, school was, well, school, and Neil and my mother got back in one piece after an amazing time together. My father appeared to calm down and Thanksgiving was pretty much a replay of last year, except in a different house and with a new grandmother (Cat and I had decided to call Neil's mother Thirdmother. It made sense to us and she seemed to actually like it because, as she confided to us, she never really cared for 'Gramma' which is what Josh called her).
We ended up having Thanksgiving part two the next day with my father's family at the ranch. It was a lot of fun. Even though my father wasn't terribly close to his siblings (he was 8 years older than one and 10 years older than the other), they got along well and could be pretty funny, usually at MoMos expense which she either didn't get or took lightly. She may not have been overly affectionate, but she was a good sport in most situations and very clever, when she felt slighted, about paying someone back.
The rest of the year went pretty well. Richard and his family came to Texas for Christmas. He finally got to meet Josh and the two of them got on well, mostly at my expense with Cat chiming in when she was around. Richard always liked Texas and was thinking about transferring to a school here the next year. He was less than thrilled to be going to Yale since he really hated Connecticut. He'd told me if he couldn't go to school in the City, then he might as well go someplace in ANY city since it would be preferable to New Haven.
It was the 27th when the shit hit the proverbial fan. Neither Cat nor I were aware of what was going on, we were out with Josh that afternoon doing some post-Christmas sale shopping when mother was served.
My father had decided to declare war.
Thanks for reading! Any comments can be sent to doncornelius69 at yahoo dot com.
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