This story is a work of fiction. None of the characters are real and any similarities between this story and/or any characters in it and real life is purely coincidental.
THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN TEENAGE MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! IF YOU FIND THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, OR IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE LEGAL AGE TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.
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The night after I came out to my parents I had dreams. BAD dreams. I'd wake up, realize it was a dream, fall back to sleep, and right back into another. Being chased was on overall theme, but the situations were different. Mostly people coming after me yelling 'faggot' and 'homo' in a variety of situations.
It didn't make for the most restful night.
I was relieved when my alarm went off, but I felt nervousness in the pit of my stomach. I knew this was going to be a big day and I figured it would also be a hard one. I had breakfast with Neil and my mother, then she drove me to school while Neil stayed behind to get Cat and Josh ready.
It was a quiet ride, but not because we were hiding. I was psyching myself up for what was to come while she was giving me the time to do it. I remember being proud of myself because instead of thinking about all the different ways this could wrong, I was instead thinking about being OK with everything. I just wanted to be honest with the guys. If it didn't work out, that was cool. I just knew that as long as I was true to myself, I was going to be fine, even if it did mean catching a beating from some jackass.
We pulled in about 645 and I hopped out. Before I could close the door mother said, "Don't worry about a thing today, it's all going to go well. And I love you."
I just smiled back at her and said, "Thanks and I love you, too."
I closed the door and turned around to see Frank Hatcher holding the door open for me with a big smile on his face. Frank was one of the new guys who'd tried out this year and made A team. We'd been friends for years, but grown closer since two-a-days.
I just looked at him and smiled. "Willy?"
He laughed, "Yeah, told me make sure no one fucked with you today."
"Shit, I have a feeling this is going to be a let down since he and Brent have apparently told everyone."
Frank replied, as we walked down to the freshman locker room, "Would that be so bad? Personally, I think it was going to be that way whether they made calls or not. The folks who like you are going to keep liking you and those who don't..."
"Can fuck the hell off," I said, finishing his sentence.
We walked in and I went to my locker to change. I got funny looks from some people, others just smiled or came by and told me 'just want you to know, we're cool and I got your back'. One of them was George Brown, one of Wes' friends, and I just looked at him like 'the hell are you talking about?'
He just stared down and I could tell he was upset. "Look, my older brother had a best friend who was gay and ended up getting the shit kicked out of him when he came out. It hurt a lot of people and the hell of it was, he was a really good guy. I may want to kick your ass at times, but I don't dislike you because you're gay and I'll be damned if stand by while someone fucks you up for it."
"Damn, dude, thanks. Honestly, I appreciate it. Even if you do sometimes want to kick my ass," I finished, smiling.
I finished getting suited up as fast as I could and ran out to the field where Coach Meade was already standing.
"Coach, before we start practice I need to tell the team something. May I have a minute?"
He just looked at me for a second with a sad look on his face, "You're not quitting on me, are you?"
"No sir, I'm gay and I need to tell everyone so if they have a problem with it, we can do something about it."
He looked blankly at me for a second before responding, "No. If someone has a problem with it they can come see me. Then they can drop out of athletics."
"I understand, but wouldn't it be better if I told them?"
"Nope. I'll handle it."
And he turned back to the field. We started practice and for the first 30 minutes, there was some chatter, and some of the guys asked me if it was true. The bullshit didn't start until about 730 and it started with Wes. Slowly, it built up until Coach called everyone in.
"Alright, I can tell from the chatter most of you know about Hallstrom. Anyone got a problem playing with a gay guy?" he asked, as my stomach fell. About six guys, including Wes, raised their hands.
"OK, you six can go change and I'll talk to you after the team is done with practice," Meade said.
One of the guys, a new kid I didn't know, said "But Coach, why are you sending us in?"
"Well, son, Hallstrom works his ass off and the rest of the team obviously accepts him as is. Not to mention he was man enough to actually ask me to make the announcement himself this morning. You six were over there sniveling and cracking jokes like chickenshit losers. Hallstrom can't help who is anymore than Flynn can stop being black. If you have a problem with it, you don't belong in team sports. Now go and we'll talk when I get the TEAM off the field."
And the six of them trudged off, with only Wes looking back, directly at me, as if I'd somehow screwed up football for him.
We practiced for about another hour, then he led us back in to get changed. The guys were already in Meade's office, but I didn't really look. I just wanted to get clean and out of there. I was stowing my pads in my locker when I realized Frank was standing next to me. I looked over at him and he just smiled and nodded his head.
"Am I that obvious?" I asked.
Frank just snorted, "You're trying to hard to be normal. Just remember we're all good with you. You don't have to worry in here."
I grabbed my soap and shampoo and went to the showers, got cleaned up, and went to change. When I walked up to my locker, that new kid who spoke up earlier and Derrick Sinclair were standing there.
"Guys, if you want to take a punch at me, can you at least wait until I'm dressed and outside?" which made George, who was hovering kind of close by, laugh.
Derrick was the one that spoke first, "Dude, I need to apologize. This whole thing just came as kind of a shock and I followed along with Wes. I know it's not an excuse. You've never been anything but cool to me and I'm sorry for making a thing out of this." He finished by sticking out his hand, which I shook.
The new kid, Aaron, piped up next, "I don't even know you and I don't know any gay people. But I've never caught you looking at me and if the rest of the team stands with you, I can too. I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's cool. I know we may never be friends, but this is the last year I'm playing anyway. I promise you, I'm focused on football and nothing else." They both nodded at me and walked away.
When they were out of earshot George said, "You handled that better than I would have. You know, you're one cool motherfucker." I just smiled back at him and said thanks.
I got dressed like I always do and started to walk out before I heard "Hallstrom!" from Meade's office. I walked back to his door and went in.
"Yes sir?" I asked.
"Did Sinclair and Morris come in and apologize to you?" he asked.
"Yes sir, they did. I really wish you hadn't forced them." I replied.
He looked up at me with this strange look on his face, "I didn't force them to do shit. I had the six of them in here, told them that as far as I and the team were concerned you weren't going anywhere and that if they still had a problem with it, knowing how hard you work and how dedicated you are, then they needed to grab their shit and go talk to a counselor about getting out of Athletics.
Those two stayed behind and told me they'd realized they were wrong. I just told them that if they gave me any trouble, I'd be harder on them than God was on Job, but that if they meant it they could stay. They were the ones who asked if they should apologize to you and I told them only if they felt like it, but that I wasn't going to make a thing of it."
'Oh, crap' was the first thought that went through my head. Not only had I assumed Meade was trying force something, but I'd assumed their apologies weren't genuine.
Meade looked at me like he could read my mind, "Son, you're a good kid. Wouldn't hurt you to give folks the benefit of the doubt sometimes. A lot of people are going to extend that to you, because I'm sure you've earned it. Your job is tougher because you're going to have to do it with a lot of people you don't know all that well or who may not have earned it. In the end, I promise, you'll be better for doing it."
"Yes sir. And thank you."
"Alright, get on out of here before we get all teary eyed."
"Yes sir," I replied as I walked out and went down the hall toward the back door. Frank and George were coming out of the locker room about the time I hit the door and told me to wait up. I looked back at them, said OK, and opened the door, stepping out to hold it open for them.
And saw Wes, standing there, throwing his fist into my face. I didn't have time to think or react, I just took the punch to the jaw and stumbled sideways letting the door slip, then falling to the ground. It took me a second to get my bearings back and I looked up to see Frank and George, holding Wes back from doing anything else. Right then a whistle blew and Coach Edwards, the head coach, came walking up from behind them.
"You guys break it up. Johnson, come with me. Hallstrom, you OK?" he asked.
I stood up, a little shaky, rubbing my jaw, "Yes sir. He hits like a bitch," which got a smile out of Edwards.
"Alright, head to the nurse when you get in and get checked out."
"Yes sir," I replied and Frank, George, and I started walking down to the main school building while Edwards took Wes back into the field house.
It was, maybe a five minute walk down the hill but George was talking all the way about what a fuckup Wes was and how he was sorry he was ever friends with him.
Frank and I didn't really disagree with him. As soon as we reached the school, we waited with the other guys for the bell while Frank told them what happened. Everyone pretty much agreed that a sucker punch was about the lowest thing you could do. I was still rubbing my jaw so I just nodded and grunted agreement.
When the bell went off I made my way to the nurses office after telling Frank and George I was good. I asked Frank to tell Willy and Brent what happened and to MAKE SURE they didn't start something with Wes when he got to school. I also pulled out my phone and texted Josh and Alan, telling them no matter what they heard that I was fine and not touch Wes. Which, of course, prompted a barrage of WTF texts and I just told them I'd tell them later.
The nurse was actually really cool, but he was really by the book and the book said notify the parents. At one point, one of the vice principals came in and I told them what happened. He waited with me until mother got there and I filled her in. She was adamant about taking me to the hospital and I had to beg her to relent.
"Mom, I'm fine. It's sore but it doesn't hurt that much. Just give me an Aleve and I'll be fine."
My mother, a little moisture in her eyes, just said, "OK, but when your father picks you up he's taking you to get an Xray to make sure. If anything changes, text us both."
Normally, I'd have been all about an excuse to get out of school but going to the doctor, especially today... what better way to make me look like the weak, delicate, little homo. The funny thing was, by that point, I was pretty OK with it since at least he'd hit my jaw. If he'd broken my nose I would have been REALLY mad.
The nurse wrote me a pass to 2nd period and I walked out of the office. It was kind of cool being in the hallways when everyone else was in class. I ended up going to the bathroom, checking myself in the mirror (nothing obvious, except that the skin where he'd hit me was red), and then grabbing some books out of my locker before sauntering into Mr. Jenkins Honors Biology class. He looked at my pass and, with 10 minutes remaining in class, just told me to sit down.
Willy sat next to me, one of the other freshman in the class which was usually for sophomores and juniors. As I walked to my desk I could tell by the look in his face he was furious. It took him all of 90 seconds to pass me a note.
"The FUCK are you thinking telling us not to fuck up Wes. You think you can stop that from happening? NOW? Fuck that motherfucker. I'm going to put him in the hospital."
I quickly wrote out...
"Great, do that and everyone will think I'm just another weak little faggot who can't handle himself. He sucker punched me, it hurts but he didn't break my jaw and I'll be fine. I got this. PLEASE don't do a damn thing to him. Let the school handle it."
He returned the note to me...
"If we don't do something it's going to be open season on you. Then we'll be fighting off EVERYONE. We have to pound that fucker into the ground and make sure people know not to fuck with you."
And I returned it to him...
"People already know you. People already expect you to do something. They'll ask why you haven't, so tell them I asked you not to because he hits like a bitch and I'm fine. Trust me, it'll work."
I passed it back to him as the bell rang and I watched him read it. He looked back up at me, "OK. I don't like it and Brent's going to like it even less."
"Then show him the note. Seriously, when I need help you'll know it. This isn't the time to play avenging angel. I appreciate it, but there's too much going on and people have to see I can handle myself." I thought my answer was a good one. It also turned out to be right.
Two minutes later, as we were walking down the hall to English (which Brent was also in), some sophomore made a wise ass crack and I just laughed at him and said I'd already been sucker punched once today but that when he was ready to come at me like a man to let me know. That got a few laughs from the people in the hall and a high five from Glenn Reynolds who was laughing his ass off as the sophomore scampered away.
As we walked away I glanced at Willy who was smiling. He finally acknowledged me and said, "OK, you were right. I get it."
Brent was outside the class with ten other guys, including Darnell and Frank. They all smiled when I walked up and fist bumped me, basically for saying Wes hit like a bitch. I looked over at Frank, as class got started and mouthed 'thank you'. He just responded with a nod. In an hour, that would be all over school and everyone would know. The calculus on beating me up would change dramatically since I may be little but I was definitely not one to fold up in a fight. Now, you had to figure that if you didn't seriously hurt me, I was going to make fun of you. And that was worse than having a homo around anyway.
And then you'd have to deal with Willy. And Josh. Willy could really fuck you up. Josh would break limbs.
The rest of the morning was pretty good. I had B lunch with Frank and some of the other Freshman guys. Lane was in it as well so I said hi to him and filled him on the morning so far. There were a couple of varsity guys and cheerleaders who sat with him and they all thought it was funny as hell.
I ditched the lunch mother made me and instead got Frito Pie and a bunch of other junk, then sat down in the seat Frank saved for me. First question... Are you OK. Yes. Then, basically a repeat of my exchange with Willy from Biology. I told them all I appreciated them and that this was just the way it had to be. I told them to relax, it said enough to everyone around that they were still sitting with me. I could tell it wasn't the answer some of them wanted, especially George, but I knew it was the right one.
When the bell rang we all got up to toss our trash and walked out together. I heard my name from the other entrance and turned to see Josh jogging over. I told the guys I'd see them later and then walked toward him. When he got to me, he gave me a hug and asked if I was alright while looking at my jaw.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Lane walked up and gave Josh a hug and a kiss. "Well, my table thinks you're the shit. They can't believe you told Edwards Wes hits like a bitch. They were still laughing about it when the bell rang."
Josh just looked at me and smiled, "You really did say that to Coach Edwards?"
"Yep" I responded with a smile. "I'm gonna be late, I'll see you guys later."
I had to really book to get to my next class, Geometry, which I hated. I'd had Algebra in eighth so I had to take Geometry in order to get into Algebra 2 in tenth, precal in eleventh and then calculus my senior year. Math wasn't easy for me, but once I got it I was pretty good. I knew I wanted to be done with as much as possible in high school. The thought of college level calculus scared the crap out of me, especially after talking to Richard.
During class I got a text from Bruce:
"Heard you had an exciting day. Just wanted to tell you I'm with you in spirit and so are a lot of your friends in OC."
I remember sitting back in my chair and feeling pretty full of emotion. All day I'd been inundated with support from my friends and even people I didn't know all that well. To hear that from someone so far away, well, it just kinda got to me. I didn't know what I'd done to earn it, but I was damn glad to have it.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, surprisingly. Until 315 when I got a text from my dad.
"When school is out, meet me in the office."
I just replied back "OK" and really hoped he wouldn't go out of control. What I didn't know was that Wes's dad had pretty much gone berserk. Edwards had hauled him into the office and made sure he got three days of in school suspension for punching me. For Mr. Johnson, that was a declaration of war no matter if his son was completely at fault.
When the bell rang, I made my way to my locker to grab some things and ran into George. I asked him how his day had gone, and he smiled. "Lost a couple of loser friends, made some new ones."
I just looked back at him, the guilt evident on my face, "I'm sorry man, but I really did appreciate what you said today."
"You're sorry?" he asked.
"Yeah, you said you lost some friends and I can only imagine it was because of me..."
He interrupted me with, "I lost them because they're assholes. Period. You know what I learned today? That I never had any reason to dislike you. You're about as far from a stuck up rich kid as you can get. I'd been listening to Wes' shit all this time and I'd find a way to interpret things you did to fit what he told me. It never occurred to me that people liked you because you were a really decent guy. The people I got rid of today are gone because they're hateful shitbags. Fuck 'em."
I just stood there, smiling, "Well, then I hope I'm one of the new friends."
He turned back to his locker, then looked over at me, "You are." He finished by holding out his fist and we bumped. He ended up walking with me to the office. I told him I had to go in since my Dad was here. He wished me luck as I opened the door.
One of the secretaries who worked at the front desk asked how they could help me and I told them who I was and that I'd been told by father to meet him here. She told me he was in with Principal Smith and led me back. When she opened the door, I went in cautiously to see my father sitting in one of the chairs laughing at, what I guessed, was a joke from Smith.
As I walked in, Smith stood up and offered his hand.
"We've met before, but the last time you were knee high to a grasshopper. I'm Principal Smith."
I shook his hand, "It's nice to meet you, sir. What's this all about?"
"Well, your daddy was worried about what happened this morning after practice and there's been some confusion. I talked to Vice Principal Ford and he shared what you told him. I was hoping you could tell me."
I felt hot all of the sudden and I looked over at my father who had a serious look on his face. He just nodded and I nodded back. "Well, sir, I was walking out of field house to go to 2nd period and I held the door open for a couple of friends. As I did so, Wes Johnson sucker punched me in the jaw."
Smith nodded, "What happened then?"
I looked down, "To be honest, I was out of it for a little bit, maybe two or three seconds. I looked up to see George and Frank keeping Wes from jumping on me. About then Coach Edwards blew his whistle and everyone calmed down a bit. He asked if I was OK, I told him I was, and he told the three of us to go on to class. He pulled Wes back into the field house and we walked to school."
Smith leaned over his desk, his hands clasped together, "Son, did you see Coach Edwards strike Wes?"
"No sir. Wes looked pretty deflated at that point, Edwards had him by the arm and was moving him back inside the field house."
My father was the next one to speak, "And that's all you saw?"
I looked over at him and replied, "Yes sir. At least once they were inside. I'm sure Coach Meade could tell you about what happened next since he was inside the whole time."
Smith sat back in his chair, hands behind his head, "Ed, I don't think there's anything to worry about. I spoke with Tony Meade earlier and he didn't see a thing. Everyone's story matches up, except that of the Johnson boy."
I father stood up and held his hand out to Smith, "OK, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to Edwards. I know how Stan can be, so if there are any calls I need to make, you let me know," he looked over at me, "Alright kiddo, let's go get you x-rayed so your mother can stop worrying."
"Yes, sir. It was nice meeting you Principal Smith, sorry about the circumstances," I said.
"No worries here, son. If you ever need anything just come see me," Smith replied.
My father and I walked out of the office and out to the car. After we were in, he turned to me and said, "He hits like a bitch?" with a smile.
"Yes sir, he does." I said.
"Like father, like son I guess." he quipped.
"Mr. Johnson hit you?" I asked.
"Yeah, once. A long time ago. I put him in the hospital for it." he replied, smiling.
On the way to the doctors office he told me the backstory of the day. Edwards had hauled Wes down and written him up for fighting. When his father showed up, Wes had this story about how Edwards had hit him. It was a real shit show apparently and my father got roped into it when he called Principal Smith about me after speaking to mother. He felt like Edwards needed some protection from the Johnsons and their school board connections. My father had some of his own and leaned heavily on them during the day. Turned out, making my father happy was more important than making Mr. Johnson happy.
After the x-ray, which was clear, we went to grab some ice cream. As we sat down to eat, I could hear my father sigh and I knew this was going to be pretty uncomfortable.
After his first spoonful of ice cream, he said, "Alright, so tell me what led up to Wes punching you."
I gave him the account of the morning, from the time mother dropped me off until 2nd period.
"Only four guys had a problem?" he asked.
"Yes sir, only four."
He leaned back and looked at me, "Son, I wish you hadn't said anything. This may only be a phase and now it's something you're going to have to live with for a while."
"Dad, you're not listening. I was never in love with Kami the way other guys are in love with their girlfriends. I knew the first time we kissed. I knew every time we hugged. I knew when we had sex. I'm gay and it's hardwired in my brain, not something that's going to change."
He snorted, "You don't know that. People change all the time."
"Not their sexual orientation."
"Well, people experiment at your age..."
I interrupted him, "Yes sir, and Kami was the experiment. The deviation from what is normal for me. I could have sex with a hundred girls and I'm still going to be gay."
He was still eating his ice cream, looking down intently at the cup he was holding. "This is going to take me some time to get used to. And I'm terrified that today was just the start. There will be more violence to come and I don't want to see you get hurt. Life isn't easy for gay kids."
"Life isn't easy for anyone. Today, George Brown, who has been friends with Wes for years and has hated me the whole time, was one of the guys who stood up for me. If Edwards hadn't shown up when we did, he and Frank would have beat the shit out of Wes before I could have even throw a punch.
Yeah, I know I need to look out for myself, but being honest about things got a guy who hated me to give me a chance today and he found out I wasn't the monster that Wes portrayed. People ARE going to look at me differently because I'm different. No one can help that. But I know, after today, if anyone is going to mess with me, it's not because of some chickenshit secret, it's because they're assholes. And I'll give as good as I get."
He sat back in his chair, arms folded across his chest with this unreadable expression on his face. I just smiled and dove back into my ice cream. We just sat there in silence for, I don't know, two or three minutes, before he finally spoke again.
"You know I love you, right?" he asked.
"Uh huh," I responded around a mouth full of ice cream.
"I just can't believe only four guys had an issue with you being gay."
"Ask Coach Meade if you don't believe me. Look, I don't know why but that was it. Meade thinks it's because I give it my all when I'm playing. I personally think it's because they all know me and they know I'm not some weirdo or freak. This is just something about me that's different, but no one feels threatened or nervous. I know I'm lucky, but I don't know if it's because I'm really lucky or because I've never been a dick to anyone." I replied.
"Well, you are a pretty good kid, all things considered. And it helps you get your good looks from your dad," he said with a smile.
I just rolled my eyes, "Yeah, that has to be it."
Not long after we left and he drove me back to mothers where Neil's car was in the driveway. My father and I both got out of the car and walked up to the house, I used my code to unlock the door and we went in.
"Go tell your mother I'm here and that I need to talk to her."
"Yes sir." I replied and went to find her. She and Neil were watching the early news in the family room when I walked in.
"Mom, dad's here and needs to talk to you."
"Oh, OK," she said, getting up from the sofa. "How are you doing?"
"I'm a little sore, but other than that I'm good."
She looked at me and used her thumb to wipe something off my chin, then put it in her mouth. "And full of chocolate ice cream."
I just smiled back as she walked past me.
Neil just smiled at me, "Other than the fight, how was your day?" I gave him a brief rundown and sat down on the love seat to watch the news with him. About five minutes later, mother reappeared, clearly a little upset. Neil asked what was wrong and she just said "nothing, he just wanted me to know the x-rays were clear."
Neither of us were dumb, we knew he'd said something else, but we didn't pry. To me, it was between my parents and to Neil, I'm sure it was a bit more complex but it boiled down to not wanting to intrude unless asked to offer advice.
About 20 minutes later, I went up to my room to do homework. I was there when Josh came in around 7 to tell me to come down to dinner. Here's the thing about family in a house with an intercom. When they just want to tell you something, they use the intercom. When they want to TALK about something, they come get you. Wish Josh, it was the foot shuffling and looking down after he'd stated his ostensible reason for bothering you. Only after a bit of that would he finally talk about what was really on his mind.
"OK, so I know this is going to come as a surprise, but are you and George Brown doing anything?"
"DOING anything? Like what? Did you hear something?" I asked.
He just continued his little nervous dance. I hated when Josh was like this. It was unnatural for guy his size to mince around like a 9 year old girl.
"Just that the two of you were now dating?" he replied. "I told people it was bullshit because you'd never said anything but I wanted to make sure."
I just sat back in my chair, "It's bullshit. Hell, I'd be flattered, but George is straight and was, until today, one of the guys in Wes' orbit who hated me. After today, we're friends and he now knows Wes was full of shit, but he's not gay. Where did this come from?"
"Christina Davis asked me about it before I went to practice. Her twin is apparently interested in you and thought something was going on."
That brought a smile to my face. "Oh, really?"
Josh smiled back, understanding why I was suddenly so pepped up. "He's a choir guy, kinda nerdy. I don't really think you'd like him but if you want me to give her brother the green light, I can."
I just shrugged my shoulders, "Sure. I'm out and there aren't a lot of options."
Josh smiled back, "OK, be careful what you wish for."
I remembered the Davis twins from when I was in sixth and they were in eighth. They were both really cute. The brother, Christopher (and it was ALWAYS Christopher) was very sweet as I remember and a little flamboyant. People were nice to him because of his sister and because the girls in their grade ADORED him. He was kind of small and not at all what I would have normally gone for, but I figured it might be fun to actually date another guy in the open.
The next morning was pretty quiet. Things had quietened down at practice and nothing weird happened. Aside from a few obviously joking comments (when one of the guys dropped his soap near me he looked at it, then looked at me with a big smile and said, "Don't try anything" to which I responded, "You have pimples on your ass, dude") things were good.
That afternoon, my father picked me up to do birthday stuff with him then dropped me off for dinner with mother, Cat, Neil, and Josh. It wasn't big or flashy, it was just family and it was nice. Lane and Alan ended up coming over later and we got hang out for the first time in weeks.
The next morning there was a note in my locker at school from Christopher Davis. It was a poem he'd written about how handsome I was and a brief note asking if he could take me out Friday night. He'd also left his number so I could respond to him.
I went to second period and showed it to Willy who, predictably, cracked up. He quickly scribbled out a note
"Dude, you can't do this. This guy is all wrong."
I returned volley
"What to do mean all wrong? Like in the head?"
Willy
"No, he's all wrong for you. You're as into poetry as I am."
Me
"I thought it was sweet. He's different than us, but is that a bad thing?"
Willy
"No, but it's definitely not something you're going to be able to deal with."
I knew he was right. Poetry wasn't my bag. But there was a part of me that needed to do this, to go out with him, anyway. Justifying it as something I was into WAS all wrong because it wasn't true. I wanted to be OUT. I wanted to go out on a date and it didn't hurt that Christopher was cute. He wasn't physically what I was into, that would be more someone like Bruce, but he was attractive and he clearly thought I was as well.
I sent back to Willy...
"Maybe not, but I'm going to check it out. I feel like I need to."
Willy, after reading my final reply, just shook his head with a smile. He then looked over at me and nodded. I knew what he wanted to say, "I get it. Go on".
The rest of the day went as usual. I hooked up with Lane at lunch and gave him the note. We reconnected before seventh period when he was going to band.
"This is really sweet, but it's not you, you know?" he told me.
I sighed, pushing back against a locker, "I know, but I want to BE out. I want to date and, honestly, the pickings are pretty slim around here," which made Lane laugh.
"Well, Christopher is a really nice guy and he's cute. I say go and see where it leads. But, whatever you do, don't lead him on. It'll just crush him and he doesn't deserve that."
I was taken aback a little, "What makes you think I would do that?"
He looked down and shuffled his feet a little, "You wouldn't do it to mess with his head or his heart, you'd do it thinking you were being nice and it's absolutely the wrong thing to do. Christopher's a sensitive guy and he's obviously crushing on you pretty hard to have put himself out here like this," he said, waiving the note. "You just need to be honest with him and don't think you're doing him any favors trying to spare his feelings."
That was a hit that landed. It wasn't meant to be mean, but I could absolutely understand why he said what he said. That WAS me. I could absolutely see myself doing something like that and, in an effort to not hurt someone, end up doing something even more horrible. "Damn, I love you man. Thank you," and I gave him a hug as the warning bell rang.
I had to run to make my last class and as soon as I was in my seat, I pulled out my phone and texted Christopher that I would love to go out Friday. We texted back and forth that evening and from that I realized he was pretty smart and seemed to have a good sense of humor. I went to bed that night kind of giddy.
I woke up Thursday feeling pretty energized for the first time in days. I told mother and Neil about Christopher that morning at breakfast and my mother started to tear up a little. I asked her what was wrong and she just smiled and said not a thing. At the time, it made zero sense to me, but she seemed OK with it. She was also OK making sure I knew curfew was midnight and not a second later.
Christopher and I finally got a chance to talk before he went to choir later during the day. He wasn't as bashful as I thought, he was really level headed and polite. We agreed he'd pick me up at 630 on Friday so we could go to the game together. Our first real meeting was interesting. There was some tension, we obviously thought the other was cute, but it wasn't anything dramatic or life altering. He was maybe an inch taller than me but he was lighter, I'd guess about 15 pounds, darker complected than me but blonde as well. Given my experience to date, this would be the first time I was physically bigger than my date and it was kind of a rush. I snuck a quick kiss before running off to class, leaving him standing there with what looked to be some impressive wood.
The rest of the afternoon went well and both the freshman and JV won our games that night. Christopher had come to watch since it was a home game and Josh introduced him to mother and Neil. I could see them sitting together in the stands from the field and it made me feel warm all over.
After we got home, we had dinner and sat down to watch a movie. It was so obvious I was in a good mood, I'd catch Josh and Lane (whose second home was now basically our house while Josh was here) looking over at me smiling. For some reason, I thought it was kind of condescending... the established couple enjoying the puppy love of one of their friends. And that wasn't me being narcissistic or misreading the situation. People do that all the time and it's really annoying.
After the movie, I told everyone good night and made my way up to my room. Mother came in to see me before I went to bed and we talked a bit about Christopher.
"He seems like a really nice guy. And he also seems to like you a lot. I thought he'd be more nervous meeting me, but he was really very charming," she said.
"So you like him," I asked.
"Of course. He's attractive, polite, intelligent, or at least he seems intelligent from the little conversation we had at the game, and he has a crush on my son. What's not to like," she finished with a smile.
"Lane thinks he has a crush on me, too."
She just smiled, "Lane's right. The real question is, do you have a crush on him?"
I thought about it for a second, then responded, "No ma'am. I mean, I think he's cute and I like him but I don't know him well enough to have a crush."
"Oh, dear. Well, you're about to get a taste of what it's like when someone likes you more than you like them. The only advice I can give you is not to lead him on. It wouldn't be fair to either of you. Play it safe."
"Yes ma'am."
I woke up the next morning a little sleep drunk. Friday's after a game were usually pretty easy in practice so I wasn't really concerned about it. By second period I was pretty awake and Willy and I had a good time with our neverending notes back and forth. I told him what our plans were and he asked if we were going to Glenn Reynold's party after the game. I just told him I didn't know, Christopher was in the drivers seat and I'd see where we ended up.
Willy thought it would be a good idea for us to come.
"It'll let everyone get a chance to know him and get comfortable with the two of you together." Which, made sense to me and I told him I'd work something out.
After class, as we walked down the hall we ran into Glenn who started smiling as soon as he saw me.
"Hey,"he said, and then looked over at Willy. "Mind if I have a word with him alone."
Willy just said sure and that he'd see me in English.
I looked back at Glenn and asked, "What's up?"
He smiled back at me, "So, you and Christopher?"
That shocked me. Of all the people who would interested in my dating life, Glenn Reynolds? I had this questioning look on my face as I asked, "Oh, come on. Like you care." I finished kind of laughing, which was a big mistake and I saw it immediately in Glenn's face.
"Dude, I grew up down the street from him. Christopher came out to me and Christina at the same time."
I just formed a little 'o' with my mouth. "Sorry, Glenn. I just assumed you were messing with me. I didn't realize you were close to them."
"It's cool, don't worry about it. I just wanted to say Christopher is a really good guy and if anyone gives y'all shit, YOU let me know. Sometimes he blows things off that he shouldn't because he feels like he's bothering me. Don't let that happen, OK?"
"I gotcha."
"Good. And don't fuck with him. He and his sister are my oldest friends. You piss him off, and we're going to have problems."
THAT set me off. Lane was one thing, Glenn Reynolds didn't know me well enough. "Why is everyone so worried about me fucking with him and not the other way around. I'm just a little freshman, what if he takes advantage of me?"
Which made Glenn crack up. "Rob, you have probably 30 pounds of muscle on Christopher so I'm not at all worried about him trying something. I'm talking about emotional stuff. Don't dick him around. He doesn't deserve it."
"OK, I won't. But promise me one thing?"
"Sure."
I gathered myself a bit, "Give HIM the same speech you gave me. Everyone seems so concerned about me doing the right thing, as if we're destined for failure, that it never occurs to them that he may be the one who ends up hurting me."
Glenn just stood there for a second, looking at me. "You really don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?" I asked, exasperated.
He just stared back at me with this incredulous look on his face."Nothing. Yes, I'll tell him not to fuck with you. Get to class."
As I walked to English, I thought a little more about the exchange. Christopher was a really nice guy, but I was pretty certain he wasn't a saint. I know people liked him, I know they were protective of him, but this was ME, not some monster with an insatiable libido who would cheat. Not to mention this was our first date. Who knew if there would be another, let alone if we'd actually start dating.
The whole thing threw me off for the rest of the day. In hindsight, I was a real moron. Instead of being excited for my first real date with a guy, I was dwelling on the fact that everyone liked him very much and apparently thought I was the ultimate Player, a reputation I'd neither earned, nor sought.
My dad picked me up from school and we went to look at a property he was thinking about buying. He asked what I was doing tonight so I told him. And he froze the hell up. It wasn't like he just stopped functioning, far from it. He just got really quiet very quickly and stayed that way. I knew he was trying but I also knew this week had been rough on him and was only getting worse, at least from his perspective. He was going to need to come to grips with things a little faster than expected.
However, I wasn't really in the mood to make small talk in an attempt to draw him out so I asked if I could change the radio station. When he just grunted back, I took it as assent and did what I wanted to do. We drove out to the land he wanted to buy and, to be honest, it looked pretty good. I didn't ask why he wanted to buy it, I didn't care.
He dropped me at mothers about 30 minutes later and we did actually say bye and he reminded me he was picking my sister and I up on Sunday after church. Then, he took off. And I was angry. Not pissed, ANGRY. Not only had he freaked about me having a date, he was doing that 'hey, let's spend time together but only when it's convenient' thing with Cat and me. It was, in a word, infuriating. The kind of infuriating that only comes when someone you love just does something completely terrible.
I walked into the house and found it empty, so I went up to my room and took a nap, hoping like hell my mood would lighten in a few hours. Thankfully, it did. I woke up about 530, showered and then spent another 30 minutes trying to decide what to wear before finally settling on jeans and a polo. I really wanted to wear shorts (it was mid-September in Texas), but it didn't feel right. A button down was too hot, so I picked out a polo. By the time I was done, I actually felt pretty good and about 10 minutes before he was to pick me up, I went downstairs.
I found my mother and Cat in the kitchen with Neil and Josh.
My mother was the first one to notice me as I walked in and she pulled me in for a hug.
"Oh, honey, you look so cute!"
I could feel the heat on my cheeks. It was a big deal for me and I really did want to look good. She knew it and was making every effort to make me feel good before my first real date. Score one for mother in the Which Parent Do I like Better Right Now contest.
Everyone else chimed in with basically the same thing. I ended up nodding shyly with a smile and telling them thanks. I already felt self conscious but this did a lot to help boost my confidence and help me relax. I looked at the clock and it was almost 630.
Josh noticed me clockwatching, "Nervous?" he asked.
I just nodded, "Yeah, a little. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it."
He came over and gave me a hug, "You're going to be fine. Just be yourself, it's what he's attracted to anyway."
"Thanks, bro." I replied and I could see Josh's eyes start to water. It was the first time I'd called him that in a non-joking way and I didn't realize it would get to him like it did.
A minute later the bell rang and Josh ran to get it. I called after him and he just said, "Give me 2 minutes, then you can come." I just nodded back.
That ended up being a really long two minutes. They'd been munching on stuff before Neil had to take Josh to the field house to get ready for the game and then mother and Cat to grab something to eat. I really wanted some of my mother's hummus, but I'd just brushed my teeth and didn't want our first kiss to be marred by garlic hummus mouth.
I waited about 90 seconds then hugged everyone and told mother I'd be home by midnight. I turned to walk to the front door and I as I walked down the hall I could catch the tail end of the conversation and Josh was speaking.
"...means the world to me so you treat him like you'd want someone to treat your sister."
"Of course, man. You don't have a thing to worry about."
And then I rounded the corner into the entry and they both looked at me. I could see Josh smiling broadly and I looked over at Christopher who was expressionless and didn't look like he was breathing.
"Christopher, are you OK?" I asked.
Josh looked over at him and nudged him, causing him to cough and sputter a little.
"Yeah, I'm... great. You look amazing."
Which, of course, caused me to blush again.
"Thanks, so do you." That wasn't a lie, either. He was wearing a pair of brick colored chinos and a navy button down that had obviously been tailored to him. He looked really cute, especially when he was the one blushing because of my compliment.
I crossed over to him and gave him a hug, then pulled back and said "Let's go."
And we walked out the door, through which I yelled bye to Josh just as it was closing. We walked out to his car, got in and drove away. I figured he had a plan in mind but, after about the fifth turn and we were still in my neighborhood, I realized he didn't. His hand was resting on the shifter so I placed mine over it as we came to another stop sign and he looked over at me.
"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Why don't we get something to eat?" which caused him to visibly relax.
"I'm sorry, I'm really nervous. When you walked in, I just lost it."
"It's ok, Christopher. Just remember, I like you too. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
He sighed, "Of course, I know that. Doesn't mean my nervous system is going to let me off the hook." he paused and shifted in his seat toward me. "You have to understand, you're like a dream come true for me. The gorgeous jock who happens to also be gay and wants to go out with me."
"Oh, come on..."
"No, seriously. We never get to see ourselves the way others see us and that's probably a good thing. So, just trust me on this."
I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. This time, it wasn't a peck, but I also didn't force my tongue into his mouth. It was just a nice kiss, sweet. And, I liked it. It wasn't fireworks exciting, like the one I'd gotten from Bruce just before we left OC, but it was nice and felt really good.
"OK, but only if you take me to grab something to eat."
"Yeah, I'm hungry too. You want to go to Mitchells?"
I thought for a second, "You know, I could really go for something gross and pseudo-Italian..."
"Oh no..."
I smiled at him, "Oh yes..."
He sighed, then met my eyes, "OK, Olive Garden it is."
I gave him another quick kiss and he then he drove us to our doom. The restaurant wasn't crowded since it was a Friday night before a football game. Later, after the game, there would be an obnoxious line out the door. We got a table and sat down, looking at menus. I could feel his eyes on me, but I decided not to make a thing out of it. He was so cute and earnest, that I didn't want to make him feel self conscious. I was also, slowly, really starting to like him.
Not long after a server appeared and we ordered, unsurprisingly the same mess. It was one of the specials they run where everything is covered in Alfredo sauce and cheese. It should come with an angioplasty or a set of stents.
As we waited, we people watched and made up back stories for the people we saw. The common thread was that everyone was either celebrating a birthday or they were having an affair. The restaurant was pretty sparsely populated so we ran out of people to watch but did like the cowboy there who was obviously out on a first date. He and his girlfriend were really cute and when she rose, he stood as well.
Christopher was staring at them and sighed at one point, "That's really sweet. You don't see things like that often."
"Yeah," was literally all I could think to say. He just looked back at me with this dreamy look in his eyes and I said, "What, you want me to stand when you go to the bathroom?"
This got a laugh out of him, "No," he said, "I just think it's sweet."
Thankfully, our food arrived shortly thereafter. We ate and chatted about school. Mostly, he asked me about the classes I was in and gave me some insight into my teachers which was cool. We also talked about mutual friends, who was dating who, etc. The best part about the entire dinner was that there wasn't any awkward moment. The two us were completely at ease with one another and the nervousness from earlier was gone. It was, in a word, nice.
Christopher wanted to pay but I insisted since he was driving. My dad had given me one of his cards almost two years before to use for emergencies and some of my normal spending when I didn't have cash. I had to account for it and reimburse my charges if they were just for me. I couldn't wait to tell him about this one.
As we walked out of the restaurant, his hand reached for mine and we walked that way to the car. He went to my side and opened my door, which I thought was so cute I wrapped him in a hug and gave him a really nice kiss.
As I broke away I said, "Thank you for what has been a really nice night so far."
"It's only going to get better," he paused, looking at his watch, "Oh, shit! Gotta go!" And he ran over to his side of the silver Honda Accord and hopped in.
I had my hand over his again as we drove to the stadium and was feeling really good about it. Christopher wasn't just a good guy, he was a romantic. We were completely mismatched since I was anything but, however I was having a great time and I realized I liked him a lot. Sexually, I think he was more into me than I was into him, but I knew if it came to that I wouldn't have a problem hooking up with him.
Of course, it never occurred to me that for him, it wasn't going to be just a hookup.
We were late getting to the game, but were having so much fun we didn't really care. He got our tickets and we made our way up to the student seating to join our friends. Brent and Darnell were sitting together and I'd asked them to save two spaces for us. Darnell was in choir (no joke, the guy had a beautiful singing voice) so he already knew Christopher and was cool with him. Throughout the game people came by to say hi or congratulate us on going together and I didn't correct them as Christopher was clearly having fun with it. The only thing that annoyed me was that I was trying to keep up with the game, not to mention follow what was going on with my friends who were playing.
My heart stopped at about two minutes into the third quarter. We were on offense and Josh was blocking for one of the running backs when a linebacker missed the RB and hit Josh low, sending him up in the air then hard onto his head and upper back. I stood up, holding my breath, as whistles were blown and a flag landed on the play. Josh didn't move. He just laid there as the coaches and the trainer made their way out to him. Christopher stood next to me and grabbed my hand as he leaned over and said, "He's going to be fine. Just breathe."
Ten more seconds passed and nothing, except for the crowd starting to shout JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH further up the stands from us, where some of the sophomores and juniors were sitting. I glanced back and caught the eyes of some of them, silently thanking them for doing what they were doing. 10 more seconds passed and the everyone on our side of the stadium was on their feet chanting his name. My chest was so tight and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst. I caught a glimpse of my mother and Neil making their way down the bleachers, presumably to get onto the field. I glanced back at Josh and saw his left foot move, then his right. Not long after, the coaches helped him up and he walked off the field to a cheering stadium, waving at the crowd.
And I released Christopher's hand, which I hadn't realized I'd basically crushed. I looked over at him and said thank you, and he just smiled back at me. As everyone started to sit, I told him I wanted to go check on Josh and he asked if I wanted him to come with me. I didn't answer, just reached for his hand and dragged him behind me.
We made our way to the section behind the benches where my mother and Neil were standing, talking to Josh. He smiled at me when he noticed me walking up.
"Hey, I'm impressed. It took almost two minutes for you to get here!" he said, letting me know he was fine.
A wave of relief hit me and I know it was obvious. I walked up and reached down to touch his hand. "You're really OK?"
"Yeah, my neck is going to be sore, but everything is where it's supposed to be. Keep your head up, remember?" he said, alluding to the conversation we'd had during two-a-days about Brent and Willy.
"Asshole,"was my reply as I smiled.
"Well, I don't care what the trainer says, we need to take you for a scan right now. Go get your coach." Neil demanded.
"Don't worry Dad, the trainer is going to walk me back to the field house and you can pick me up there. Honestly, I'm fine." he answered.
"Well, OK. I know you think I'm being paranoid, but I'm not taking any chances."
"Do you want me to come?"I asked.
Josh looked at me, "Absolutely not."
Neil smiled over at me, "No need. We'll have him at the hospital and if anything's wrong, they'll be able to get a handle on it. You two enjoy your night and your mom and I will take care of the smart ass."
Josh spoke quickly, "Go tell Lane I'm OK, willya? I know he's going to be a basket of nerves."
"Sure thing," I replied.
I told them all bye and to call me if anything happened. Christopher and I then went over to the band section where Lane was visibly relieved to see us.
"Fucking Abernathy wouldn't let me go check on him," he told us, barely concealing his anger and frustration.
I smiled back at him and put my hand on his shoulder, "He told us to come over here. He's fine, Neil and mother are going to take him for scan to make sure nothing is wrong, then he's going home. Just go there when the game is over."
Lane seemed to relax a bit. "Thanks, Rob. Now y'all get out of here before dickwad starts screaming."
Christopher and I made our way back to where we were sitting and watched the rest of the game. Not long after we sat back down, he got up to gossip with some of his friends and I was basically done telling everyone that Josh was OK, but that Neil was taking him for a scan to be sure.
Brent was the first one to speak, but I could tell Darnell was dying as well.
"Other than Josh's performance, how's the date going?"
I smiled, "Good. Actually really good. I'm having a lot more fun than I thought I would."
Darnell was smiling, "You think you're going to get some action tonight?"
"Why? You wanna watch?" I threw back at him which prompted laughter from both him and Brent.
"No, it's too new and we aren't there yet. Honestly, every minute I spend with him, I like him more and more."
"Ohhhhhhh..." they both moaned, in unison.
"Y'all stop,"I begged, blushing. "I'm really comfortable with him and he's actually a lot of fun. But he's a little bit of a romantic and we all know I'm not."
Brent just nodded, "Give yourself a chance, I have a feeling you'll be surprised."
We sat back to watch the game and about 6 minutes before it ended, Christopher sat back down next to me and patted my thigh. I looked over at him to see a big smile and I asked, "What?"
"Nothing, just thinking about what we're doing next." he replied, which made me gulp a little. I hadn't thought about anything beyond just the date, and I wasn't prepared for anything more. I started to tense up a bit and he asked what was wrong.
"Nothing, just wondering what you have in store for me."
Christopher leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Don't worry, stud. I'm not going to rape you tonight."
That got a laugh out of me and for probably the 19th time I was really impressed with his sense of humor.
After the game ended, people were asking us about Glenn's party and Christopher just said we had other plans. We got back to his car a little after ten and I finally got to ask what those plans were. His cryptic response was, "You'll see."
He navigated through the traffic and we made our way to a park just on the edge of town. There was a hill you could drive up to which had a pretty good view of the southern end of town, mostly neighborhoods and the park itself. It was also very unlit so the stars were pretty amazing. He parked the car and we both got out. He went to the trunk and pulled out a blanket and what looked like a small cooler.
We walked over to the side of the parking area and spread the blanket out so we could lay down on it. The cooler, it turned out, just had some Cokes in it which was a relief since I was sure Neil and mother would be up and they would definitely be alert to the smell of beer on my breath.
I laid down on the blanket and pulled him to me which was surprisingly easy. Our faces were inches apart and we just looked at each other before I finally pulled him in by the back of his neck and kissed him. With one swipe of my tongue on his lips, he opened up and let me in, sucking on my tongue so beautifully that my dick was instantly hard. We stayed that way for what seemed like forever before he finally pulled back, as breathless as me.
"Damn, you're a hell of lot more experienced than I thought," he said.
I just smiled back at him, "Or I'm just a natural?" which got a nice laugh out of him. He settled into my side and I let my arm cradle him. It felt really good to hold him like this, no cares or worries, just the two of us out here. We ended up talking and making out a little more before realizing it was 20 till midnight and we quickly packed up so he could drive me home.
We got back to my place to find it still very lit up at 1157. He walked me to the door and I gave him a hug and another kiss as we said goodbye. I stood there watching him walk back to his car, completely happy with how the night had gone and thankful, as he drove away, that I'd spent it with him.
I opened the door to the house and made my way to the family room to find everyone there. My mother looked at her watch, noting the time, and then looked back at me with a smile. I went over to where Josh and Lane were sitting and listened to Lane's story of how Mr. Abernathy had been quite the dick about letting Lane see his injured boyfriend.
I finally said, "Did y'all just get home?"
"Yeah, just a little while ago. The scan was fine, nothing bad, except for some strained muscles. I have to take it easy for a few days but I'll be back in pads by Wednesday," Josh replied.
"Good. Well, I'm going to bed," I started before everyone started moaning and asking me to tell them how tonight had gone, so I sat down and did just that.
Thanks for reading! Any comments can be sent to doncornelius69 at yahoo dot com.
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